Some might say that it was a Confluence of Magic. Others might declare it to have been the Will of Discord. Still more might claim that something in the Baker herself was to blame. And some would state that it was something about the dough. Truly, it could have been any of these factors, or a combination of them, but however it happened, its end result was a strange event so unusual, it changed Ponyville forever.
It all began on a sunny morning in Sugarcube Corner.
Pinkie Pie, the Pinkest, most hyper, most curly-haired Pony in town, was finishing with all of the baking that Mr. and Mrs. Cake asked her to so while they were off in Hooferville. A quick look in the pantry showed her one more large blob of gingerbread dough, enough for a bunch of midsized cookies.
Next to the dough, there was a note.
“Dear Pinkie,” the note read, “If you have reached this dough, and have finished all of your tasks for the day. We really appreciate having you on as our assistant baker. This dough is actually some extra that we had on hand, so as long as you are done, you may have it and use it to make whatever you want. You have earned it. –Mr. and Mrs. Cake”
Pinkie gave a happy squeal as she finished reading. Sure, she often got to bake what she wanted and eat most of it, too, but it was genuinely a joy to know that she had made Mr. and Mrs. Cake Happy. The Reward was just the icing on the cookie, so to speak.
She picked up the cookie dough and took it into the kitchen, wondering what she could do with it. Enough dough for a bunch of medium cookies could make one or two really big ones, or a bigger bunch of little ones. A cookie was a cookie, but this one was going to be special. Mrs. Cake taught her long ago that the sculpting of a cookie and its decoration were as much an art form as planning parties. If you did not put your all into it, it would not come out so good.
So Pinkie focused her mind, and pulled off a small bit of the dough, holding it on her hoof and looking at it. After a long moment, she lay the dough on the table and began working it into a shape. Ultimately, she settled on a stylized cat shape. Smiling at her creation, Pinkie collected another, slightly larger lump of dough, producing a slightly larger, more detailed cat shape.
After her third cat, Pinkie took the remainder of the dough and began working like a pony possessed, creating a stylized Cat of much greater size and detail than any of its predecessors. The Result being the largest and most detailed cookie that Pinkie had ever made.
It, too, was a stylized cat, but it was much more well-made than the others. Had it been on the floor, on all four legs, it would have stood nearly as tall as Rarity’s little sister. It had blue candy eyes what would crystallize as it baked, and Pinkie even added a stylized Gothic Lolita dress.
Pinkie added a few details, and then pushed the four cookies into the oven to bake.
.o0o. .o0o. .o0o. .o0o. .o0o.
At first, it was all darkness. Warm and all encompassing. Then, the darkness was split by the light, and the Creator looked down upon her for the first time. And reached in to draw her from the darkness.
She was suddenly struck by the oddness of thinking of herself as one to be looked down upon or drawn from the darkness, or even to think at all. Clearly she had begun to think at some point, but she really was not sure when.
She became aware of three others, smaller than she, riding with her on the platform, she felt as if she were kindred to these others in some way, almost as if they were formed from the same whole. She knew not who they were, but she knew they were special to her.
It was not until the Creator had drawn her out into the light that she became aware of how stiflingly hot the dark had been. The cool air in the light brushed over her skin, and she drew it in, breathing in the chill and letting the heat leave her body.
She blinked. She had a body. She looked down at her body, finding it to be much like that of those who rode on the platform the Creator was carrying with her. Her tail twitched slightly as she looked at her pretty dress and brown skin.
Then the Creator spoke. “These are the best looking cookies I ever made!” the Creator said, “And it is like a family. Four sisters. “
She absorbed this statement so the others were called her “sisters”… and they were all called “cookies”. She loved her sisters and had a sense of deep connection to them, and she was the largest of them, so clearly she was the big sister.
Then The Creator reached down with a metallic implement, and removed her from the platform. The Creator smiled at her. “Alright, Kitty.” The Creator said, “I will decorate you first.”
So “Kitty” was her name. Kitty smiled, unnoticed by The Creator as she looked over at her sisters, wondering what each of their names would be.
The Creator produced a strange tube, with a nozzle on one end. “First, a bit of frosting.” She said.
Kitty felt a tingle as the creator squeezed a white substance onto her skin, adding details to her, and making her more. It felt so good. Like being made whole. Then came a little bit of red frosting, on her nose and mouth.
Now that Kitty’s smile was visible, The Creator smiled back at her, and Kitty felt loved.
Having finished the detailing, The Creator set Kitty down and turned to the eldest of her younger sisters. Slowly, one by one, speaking to each as she did, The Creator removed each of Kitty’s sisters and gave them each faces and names. The biggest of Kitty’s sisters was “Ginger”, the Middle one was “Kat”, and the smallest was “Tiny”.
Kitty was happy to listen, absorbing the knowledge of the words The Creator Spoke, and learning about her sisters. As the others joined her on what The Creator called a “Cookie sheet”, she felt closer and more connected to her sisters than she ever had before.
Then disaster struck.
As The Creator moved Tiny from the Table where The Creator had been decorating her, a green… Thing… Appeared at The Creator’s feet, and in her attempt to avoid it, Kitty’s Littlest sister fell from her Grasp, striking the floor with a devastating crunch, breaking the cookie’s leg off.
Kitty craned her neck to see, as The Creator bend down with a disappointed sigh. “Awe,” The Creator said, “Gummi, how many times have I told you not to get around my hooves in the Kitchen? You made me break a cookie…” She shuffled the thing out of the room and then returned and sighed, and picked up Tiny. “Oh well, I guess I will just have to eat this one first.”
With that, The Creator tossed the injured cookie up into the air and caught her in her mouth, creating a terrifying crunching as she devoured her with Kitty looking on in horror.
Kitty did not know what to think. Her youngest sister had done nothing to deserve such a fate. It was just so cruel and unfair.
Suddenly the Creator turned to look over the rest of the cookies on the plate, and her smile took on a new meaning.
Kitty now could see the hunger, the vicious voracious desire in the Creator’s blue eyes. A spike of fear shot through Kitty as she realized the terrifying truth: The Creator intended to devour them all.
Desperately, she thought, trying to figure out what to do. As their big sister, her little sisters were counting on her to find a way to escape the grizzly fate that awaited them and get away from the one who had created them.
Kitty was trying to figure out what to do when the Creator reached for her second youngest sister. Kitty had never learned to move before, but to save her second sister, she flung herself at the creator’s extended hoof.
In that same moment, the plate bucked slightly as the creator’s other hoof pressed on the edge of the plate. “Oops,” the Creator said, in that deceptively jolly voice, as she brushed off Kitty’s desperate attempt to save her sister and shifted her back to the far side of the plate, “Don’t want to accidentally break this one before it is time to eat it.” She said with a giggle, and then she scooped Kat up, licked her lips and bit her head off.
A shot of grief shot through Kitty as the Creator devoured the remains of her second sister. It was a horrible and gruesome spectacle, crumbs and bits of frosting covering the Creator’s Cruel Pink Hooves.
Then the Creator snagged up the last of Kitty’s sisters.
Kitty could not stand to watch as the last of her family was devoured. She finally found her voice. “NO!” she cried, and, with tremendous effort, born of desperation, she hurled herself at the creator’s face.
The Creator gave a startled yelp and stumbled backward, falling over, and both Kitty’s and the Creator’s eyes went to Ginger, as she tumbled helplessly through the air, flipping end over end. And then, with a horrible crack, she struck the floor, and shattered.
Kitty stared at the remains of her sister, her heart broken. In moments she had gone from a big sister, to all alone. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. There was a clop of hooves behind her and she turned to see the Creator Staring at her.
Kitty did the one thing that came to mind. She had been unable to save her sisters, but she could certainly save herself, and so, she leapt to her feet and ran for the door.
.o0o. .o0o. .o0o. .o0o. .o0o.
Fluttershy watched as her cute little possum friends played in the middle of a field not far from Sugarcube Corner. She was glad that Rainbow Dash had gotten up early to clear the clouds that morning, as it ensured that her friends had a sunny day and would not have to worry about getting startled by…
“GET BACK HERE YOU COOKIE!”
A cat made out of gingerbread dashed through the group of possums, fleeing from a very cross looking Pinkie Pie. The cat attempted to hide among the possums, but the possums, rather predictably, immediately stiffened and fell over, playing dead as possums are want to do when they are startled. This left the cat, caught out, clearly visible to her pursuer.
Pinkie grinned maniacally. “I’ve got you now, you tasty morsel!” she said, looming over the gingerbread cat.
“PINKIE PIE!” Fluttershy was at her most assertive when it came to scared animals. “What do you think you’re doing?”
The Yellow furred Pegasus stepped firmly between Pinkie and her prize, fixing the Pinkie with a glare that was not that short of her infamous stare. Pinkie froze and back peddled rapidly, until she plopped down on her rump. “Fluttershy?” she said, incredulously.
Fluttershy stepped up an inch from Pinkie’s face. “Why were you terrorizing this poor creature?” she demanded, not skipping a beat.
Pinkie almost flinched. “It’s not a creature…” she said lamely, “It’s a cookie… I baked it, and then it ran away.”
Fluttershy softened her tone slightly glancing at the cookie that was now cowering behind her. “Pinkie, can’t you see that the poor thing is scared?” she plaintively asked her friend. “Clearly, she does not want to be eaten.”
Pinkie giggled. “Silly Fluttershy.” She said patronizingly, “Cookies can’t be scared. They are cookies. They are not alive. This one is just running away for some reason.” She attempted to step around Fluttershy to continue her chase of the Cookie, but Fluttershy matched her step. She was not going to back down on this.
“Pinkie, if it was not alive, it would not be running away.” Fluttershy said. “Or crying in terror.”
Illustrating the point, behind Fluttershy, Kitty suddenly cried out in fear. The Pegasus Pony whirled to find the poor thing surrounded by hungry-looking possums. The creatures closed on her from every side, like a pack of wolves.
Fluttershy leapt to the Gingerbread Cookie’s aid. “Hey!” she shouted at the possums, snatching the cookie up and sending the possums back into their mock death spasms. “Leave her alone! You know full well I don’t like it when my animals act like bullies! Or did you all forget what I told Mr. Coyote last night, when he thought he was going to snack on one of you?”
The possums looked a little abashed as they came out of their dead playing. Clearly they were sorry for picking on the walking cookie.
Fluttershy held the cookie protectively. “Are you alright, little one?” she asked.
Kitty looked up at Fluttershy with huge, terrified eyes. “Kitty think so…” she said, softly.
Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “You can talk?!” she exclaimed.
Kitty nodded. “A little.” She said, “Kitty still learning.”
Fluttershy smiled at her. “That is amazing.” She said, and then turned to Pinkie, “See? She can talk. That clearly means she is alive.”
Pinkie sighed. “Fluttershy,” she tried to explain calmly, “It is a cookie. Cookies cannot be alive. They are cookies. Now give me back my cookie. Mr. and Mrs. Cake gave me that dough to make a cookie out of, and I am going to eat it.”
Fluttershy could hardly believe her ears. “She is clearly alive.” She said, “She walks and talks and she says she does not want to be eaten. So I am not going to let you eat her.”
The two of them stared at each other for a long moment.
“Hey guys… what’s up?”
Twilight Sparkle trotted over, sensing the tension between her friends.
Pinkie turned to Twilight and spoke first. “Twilight!” she said, “Fluttershy took my cookie and won’t give it back!”
Twilight raised an eyebrow and looked at her other friend “Fluttershy?” she asked.
Fluttershy held up the Gingerbread cookie. “This cookie is alive.” She said, “She does not want to be eaten, right Kitty?”
Kitty looked at Twilight. “Kitty is alive.” She stated. “Kitty does not want to be eaten.”
Twilight stared at the Cookie for a long moment, and then she turned back to Pinkie. “And why do you want to eat this cookie, even though it appears to be alive, and sentient?” she asked.
Pinkie stared at her. “It is a cookie!” she explained. “It CAN’T be alive. Cookies are made of dough, not flesh like ponies. It is not possible for it to be alive.”
Twilight raised her eyebrow again. “Well, it certainly seems to be alive to me.” She said, “Though I do find it surprising that you, of all people, are arguing from a stance of something that you can clearly see in front of you not being possible.”
Pinkie looked at her, a slight twitch forming in her eye. “Just because it can walk and talk doesn’t make it alive.” She said, “You know, like the other Pinkies that came from the Mirror Pool.”
Twilight thought about that for a moment. “You have a point there.” She said, “A magical construct could probably walk and talk. The only thing that stopped the Mirror versions of you from being real was that they did not have your heart. They lacked your caring for those that you love, thinking only of their own fun. They could not worry about the possibility of not being with their friends, because they were too busy having fun on their own.”
Fluttershy stepped forward. “So what does that mean for Kitty?” she asked, “How do we tell if she has a heart?”
Pinkie grinned broadly, but there was something… off… about that grin. “It doesn’t.” Pinkie said, “I baked it myself. No meat in there at all. Just dough. Give it to me.”
Kitty’s face fell, but Fluttershy took a step back from Pinkie. “That can’t be right.” She said, “She has a heart. She must have.”
Twilight looked at the Cookie for a long moment. “By heart, Pinkie, I mean the metaphysical core that makes a pony a person.” She said, “Your heart is what makes you, you. I guess there is a question I can ask that should give us an answer.”
Kitty looked at Twilight. “What question?” she asked.
Twilight looked at her and nodded. “Kitty, if you don’t mind my asking, How do you feel?” she asked.
Kitty thought about it for a long moment. “Kitty scared.” She said, “Kitty does not want be eaten.” She thought for a moment. “Kitty also happy find one that will protect.” Another pause. “Kitty also sad… miss sisters.”
Pinkie Pie flinched, and her hair deflated a small amount.
Fluttershy turned to look at the cookie. “Oh, you poor thing…” she said, fussing over Kitty, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Pinkie turned to Twilight, a slight tremble in her movements as she drew her friend aside. “Twilight…” she said, “I need for that cookie to not be alive, Twilight. Do you understand?”
Twilight stared at her for a long moment. “Pinkie...” she said softly, “What did you do?”
It was at this point that Fluttershy whirled, pure horror on her face. “PINKIE PIE!” she shouted, “You ATE her sisters?”
The thin veneer of calm that Pinkie had been struggling to maintain this whole time shattered and she dissolved into tears. “I DIDN’T KNOW!” she cried, throwing herself to the ground in front of Kitty. “I’m so sorry! I did not know that you and your sisters were alive! If I had known, I never would have eaten them! I thought they were just ordinary cookies…”
Pinkie covered her eyes with her hooves and sobbed.
Fluttershy looked at Twilight, and Twilight looked back, neither of them were really sure what they could do to comfort their friend. Kitty was not really sure what to think.
Then Twilight got an idea. “Pinkie, did you eat all of the other cookies, or was there some left?” she asked.
Pinkie looked up from her sobbing and sniffled. “Well…” she said slowly. “I broke the smallest one and then ate it… and I ate the middle one… But Kitty made me drop the third. It is still in pieces on the kitchen floor.”
Twilight smiled. “Then how about if we check the remains of that cookie to see if it shows signs of having been alive?” she asked, and then she glanced at Kitty. “We will be very respectful with the examination, and then, if you like, we can lay her to rest properly, whether she was alive or not.”
Kitty thought for a second, and then nodded. “Kitty would like that.” She said, “Ginger closest to Kitty on pan.”
Together, the four of them went into the kitchen and found the remains of Ginger. They stood around her for a long moment before Twilight began using her magic to pick all the bits and pieces of the shattered cookie up off the floor, and place them on the nearby cookie sheet.
Carefully, she put the cookie back together, piece by piece, until it had formed into a cat less than a third of Kitty’s size.
Ginger was by no means as well decorated or as well sculpted as Kitty, but as Twilight checked the cookie over, it became very apparent that Pinkie had put a great deal of effort into making her. The detail was impressive, and she could tell that Pinkie had put a fair amount of love into the making. There was one other thing apparent, though. There was no evidence that this cookie had ever been anything more than it was now. Just a cookie.
Twilight turned to the others. “I can’t find anything to suggest that this cookie was ever alive.” She said. She looked at Kitty, “I am sorry, but, while I understand that you thought of them as family, I can’t prove that they were ever really alive.”
Pinkie Pie sniffled and looked at Twilight. “So… I am not a killer?” she asked.
Twilight shook her head. “They were just ordinary cookies.” She confirmed, “I don’t know how Kitty is alive, but it would seem that she is the only one of the cookies that was.”
Pinkie Pie’s hair poofed up a little bit, but she turned to Kitty, kneeling down to eye level with her. “Kitty, I am so sorry for all I put you through…” she said sadly, “I was just so certain that if you were alive, maybe the others had been, too. I was terrified that I had done something truly horrible. I think I did something almost as bad by saying you weren’t alive. Can you ever forgive me?”
Kitty looked at the pink Pony and then she looked back at her friend, Fluttershy, who nodded. “Kitty can forgive Creator Pinkie.” Kitty said, “Kitty think Pinkie family. Fluttershy and Twilight, too. Yes?
Everyone nodded and shared a hug.
.o0o. .o0o. .o0o. .o0o. .o0o.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Life can change in the most unexpected ways. My new friend, Kitty and I are now both working in Sugarcube Corner, and boy were Mr. and Mrs. Cake surprised when they met her!
We all love her and she is a great help, and even one of the family now, though she has to be kept away from Gummy and the Babies. They just don’t know any better.
It is now standard practice to check to make sure that the food we bake here is not alive before we serve it. I think that you would approve.
I learned that even in the worst of circumstances, a friend can be made (sometimes literally) with a little bit of effort and a lot of love, and friendships can be kept with exactly the same things.
Well, I gotta go, Kitty is trying to make macaroons, and I need to show her how.
Sincerely,
Pinkie Pie
Author's Note
No, this is not a "Hello Kitty" crossover, in spite of the cover image.
No, I don't think Pinkie or Fluttershy is out of character, as this is how they would act under the circumstances.
Yes, I did consider ending it tragically by having Kitty get eaten by somepony or something at random, but I thought better of it.
I enjoy constructive criticism. Tell me what you think.
