Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants

by Justice3442

Rating: teen
Tags: Applejack, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Random
Length: 7516

Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants, the beloved being from beyond Eqestria's skies who also resides in a land flooded with magic much as if Starswirl the Bearded's basement was flooded, senses that Twilight Sparkle needs her help.

Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants, the beloved being from beyond Equestria's skies who also resides in a land flooded with magic much as if Starswirl the Bearded's basement was flooded, senses that Twilight Sparkle needs her help.

Now if only ponies would stop screaming or throwing up every time they laid eyes upon her.

Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants created by TheShadowStone

Published 2014-10-27 23:40:08 UTC
Last updated 2017-11-12 08:20:14 UTC

Chapter 1: Twilight Sparkle. Applejack, and Spike

Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic PantsChapter 1: Twilight Sparkle. Applejack, and Spike-ooo-

Sunlight poured out from the perfect Ponyville day and into the council room of Twilight’s new castle, filling the room with welcome light. The two large windows of the room had been left open to let the gentle warmth of the day in. Twilight smiled contently to herself as she sat in her purplish-white stone chair and did something she very rarely did, voluntarily look up from a book without prompt.

Not that the book was dull. In fact, Twilight enjoyed every word from the old text that discussed ruling a kingdom at length. However, she had learned that time with your friends was also precious, especially when things such as massive, magic-eating tyrants could appear and take them away at a moment’s notice.

On that note, she decided to check up on one of her oldest and dearest friends, the dragon sitting next to her in a small stone chair of his own.

“The Power Ponies taking out the villains again, Spike?” Twilight asked cheerfully.

Spike looked up from his comic book with a smile. “You know it!”

Twilight smiled back and then looked across the center of the room to another chair. “How about you, A.J.? How’s your book?”

Applejack looked up from the paperback book that depicted ponies all wearing wide-brimmed cowboy hats, out in some sandy town. “A rivetin’ tale about ol’ timey desperados if ever there was one,” she replied with a grin.

Twilight nodded. “I’m surprised to see you here. Not that I mind of course, I just figured you’d be busy with farm work.”

Applejack smiled and shrugged with her shoulders. “Well it was rather light on the chores today, and shoot, Ah got a fancy chair. Might as well take advantage of it.”

Twilight gave her friend one more smile and looked back down at her own book. Thank Celestia it’s finally peace—

Suddenly, there was a melodic sound as if a balloon that was full of soothing harp music was suddenly popped. Shimmering, dark, rainbow smoke filled the center of the room as Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Spike suddenly looked up. The smoke began to dissipate and drift out the castle windows allowing the occupants of the room to see the new arrival.

The two ponies and the dragon stared at the being in front of them as their minds desperately tried to process it. Whatever it was, it looked vaguely pony-shaped, stood at Celestia’s height, had a shimmering mane that was every color of the rainbow, possessed a body as dark as the night itself, shimmering gossamer wings, a large curved unicorn horn, rainbow striped front legs, one backleg of a dragon, one purple striped leg, a rainbow colored dragons tail that ended in a bright white tuft, breezee antenna, breeze eyelashes, a bat-pony ear. Her left eye sparkled like crystal emeralds and her right sparkled like crystal rainbow gemstones that also changed color. Her face and flank sported matching sun-moon-magic cutie marks. Finally she wore the element of magic atop of her sparkling, rainbow-colored mane.

She opened her mouth and spoke with an echoing voice, like someone speaking from beyond time itself. “Greetings, my little ponies.”

As the being’s soothing voice reverberated in her ears, Applejack knew with sudden clarity what she must do. She turned towards one of the open windows and made a gallop for it. She then stuck her head out and promptly lost her lunch.

“BAARAARRAAPHRAGGRAAAAAPHHH…!”

“Applejack!” Twilight cried in alarm. “Are you alright?!”

Applejack looked up sheepishly from the window. “I’m sorry… cough… Twi… I jus’…” Applejack’s cheeks puffed out and she suddenly ducked her head down again. “BRRRRRAFFFRGHAAA…!” Applejack looked back up as she took a few deep breaths. “Huff… Puff… I just couldn’t help… it… I took one look at her and my stomach started churning…”

“I hear that,” Spike said.

“Spike!” Twilight snapped. “Don’t be rude touh… visitors…”

“What?!” Spike protested. “I mean… there’s weird looking and then there’s this!” Spike said as he motioned to the majestic being which stood majestically in the center of the council room.

“Be not afraid,” the being of deep darkness and bright brightness said as it trotted up to Spike and placed radiant, rainbow colored forehoof on his shoulder. “Though I may look imposing, I bring you only glad tidings.”

“OH CELESTIA, IT TOUCHED ME!” Spike yelled as he quickly dove behind his chair. He peaked out frightful at the imposing, but also kind looking creature that towered over him.

“Ah motion we try to kill it!” Applejack said as she wiped a forearm over her muzzle.

“SECOND!” Spike screamed.

The being of infinite glowing and twinkling compassion smiled and nodded at Applejack. “Ah, the element of honesty. Your frankness is appreciated.”

“Oh! No!” Applejack cried. “It knows who we are!” She turned towards Twilight. “Please say we can kill it!” Applejack exclaimed.

 “Hey!” Twilight cried. “She seems friendly… The least we can do is give… uh…her…?” Twilight looked up at the being who shimmered darkly in the sunlight.

The being that glittered deeply in the light of the sun nodded.

“… Her a chance,” Twilight said.

“I thank you Princess Twilight.” The really tall and also unfathomably pretty being said. “Allow me to introduce myself… I am the long hidden child of Princess Celestia and Discord—”

Twilight’s eyes shot open wide. “Princess Celestia and Discord had a child?! I can’t believe—”

“—Also Princess Luna,” the being continued.

Twilight narrowed her eyes slightly and frowned. “Yep. I can’t believe it.”

“… and Queen Chrysalis—”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Okay, even with magic that’s basically impossi—”

“—And King Sombra, the Queen of the Breezies, and the Zebra King.”

Applejack stared at the massive colorful being which was also as dark as the night with a blank expression. “That musta been one hellava orgy.”

Spike covered his mouth with a claw and puffed out his cheeks as he made a muffled gurgling sound.

“Applejack!” Twilight said in a chastising tone. “Not in front of Spike!”

With a pained swallowing, Spike slowly removed his claw and looked up at the massive dark and also bright and rainbow colored entity. “Wait, so no dragon?”

The being of immense physical, mental, and magic power took a few steps up to Spike and looked down at him. “I possess the heart of a dragon.”

Spike gulped. “Figuratively or literally?”

“Yes!”

Spike turned, made a mad dash for the unoccupied windows and promptly lost his own lunch out of it. “GLRAAARGHAAARGHAAAARGHGHAAACHCHC…!”

Twilight glanced at Spike in concern, then her eyes slowly drifted back to the being of great… uh… greatness. “Uh… I’m afraid to ask…” Twilight said. “But do you have a name?”

“Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants!” Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants informed.  Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants smiled. “You may call me ‘P-CRaMPs’.”

Twilight and Applejack raised an eyebrow each and exchanged glances.

“Motion to call her ‘Magic Pants’?” Twilight said.

Applejack nodded. “Second.”

Twilight looked off into the corner where Spike continued to huddle. “Spike?”

“MaAaAaAaAaAaAaAake it go away!” Spike screamed from the window.

Twilight nodded. “The motion passes.”

Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants bowed slightly. “‘Magic Pants’ it is, your highness.”

“Alright so… why are you here, exactly?” Twilight said.

“I came, because I sensed you need my help in your new role as Princess of Friendship.”

Twilight blinked a few times and looked about her new throne room. “Na… noooo?”

“Equestria is full of strife!” Magic Pants continued. “The races distrust and war with each other!”

Twilight and Applejack looked at each other briefly and chuckled.

“I’m sorry,” Twilight began, “but you must be mistaken. After the defeat of Tirek, earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi are enjoying a welcome peace with one another.”

“Oh, but it is not just those three races I am talking about! I must bring all the races together!”

Twilight frowned. “Wait, by all do you mean…”

“Ponies! Gryphons! Changeling! Breezees! All must unify together in friendship.”

Twilight frowned. “Well… I mean aside from Changelings, all those races…” Twilight trailed off as she looked up at Magic Pants crown. “Is that… Is that the element of magic on your head?!”

Magic Pants nodded causing her already luxurious hair to ripple even more beautifully than it already was. “Yes, I too, possess the element of magic. I can also raise the sun and the moon.”

“That’s uh…” Twilight trailed off as she searched for the proper words.

“Completely OP?!” Spike suggested.

“Patently ridiculous!” Applejack chimed in.

Twilight frowned. “… It’s something alright…”

“Wait, you said gryphons,” Applejack said. “Are ya part gryphon, too?”

Magic Pants’s luscious dark lips opened wide exposing her radiant teeth. “I have the spleen of a gryphon!”

Spike proceeded to lose more of his lunch out the window. “BRARFRAGHAAAGHRAAAAGHAAAA…!”

“Right, sorry I asked,” Applejack said.

Magic Pants’s shimmering, sparkling eyes suddenly went wide, her right eye shifting colors rapidly. “I sense a disturbance in the balance of friendship!”

Twilight gave Magic Pants a sheepish look. “Aaaand that means… what… exactly?”

“I must meet with the other elements of harmony!”

“Okay, but why?” Twilight asked.

“Because there is a disturbance in the balance of friendship!”

“Okay, but you never—”

Magic Pants suddenly made a mad dash out the room. “Quickly make haste! There’s no time to spare!”

“What?!” Twilight cried. “Why?! What’s going to happen?!”

“HASTE!” Magic Pants cried back. Her voice echoing in the halls like a thousand melodic angel voices.

Twilight sighed and looked up pleadingly at Applejack who rolled her eyes and also sighed as she trotted  away from the window. Twilight smiled then looked towards Spike. “Coming Spi—”

Spike inhaled as much air as his lungs could hold. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Chapter 2: Rainbow Dash

Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic PantsChapter 2: Rainbow Dash-ooo-

Twilight and Applejack raced out of the massive yellow double-doors of the stone and crystal castle. They stood at the top of the set of yellow stairs for a second and scanned the area.

“Shoot!” Twilight exclaimed. “I don’t see her.”

Applejack shook her head. “Me neither.”

Twilight continued descending the stairs, Applejack followed right behind her.

“Well hopefully she hasn’t gotten far,” Twilight said as she galloped onto the path in front of her castle.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Ah’m sure we can just listen for the sounds of ponies retchin’ if anything else.”

“RAAAARAAARRAAGHGHGRAAAA…!”

“What in tarnation?!” Applejack cried as an unusually chunky and brown-colored rain suddenly ‘splatted’ onto the ground a few yards away from her.

Twilight and Applejack looked up to see a queasy Rainbow Dash lean her head and forehooves over the side of a cloud several yards above the ground.

“Rainbow Dash,” Twilight shouted up. “Have you seen a large, vaguely pony-shaped, black, rainbow, and neon-colored… thing?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Twi, I think she’s seen her…”

Rainbow Dash pointed to a cloud hovering just slightly to the side and above hers. Magic Pants poked her marvelous head out from around it. “Hello Twilight Sparkle and Applejack, I was just conversing with the element of Loyalty, Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow Dash ran her arm over her muzzle. “Twilight, what the heck is that thing?!”

“It uh… She claims to be the child of pretty much everyone important in Equestria.”

“What the huh?” Rainbow replied.

Applejack shook her head. “Don’t think about it too hard, sugarcube. You’re better off not knowing.”

“Alright, well… Where did she come from?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Magic Pants gave Rainbow Dash a smile full of her perfectly white teeth that glinted in the sunlight. “I come from a magical realm where brilliant magical light shines through every hole and every crack!”

Rainbow Dash turned stared blankly at Magic Pants for a second. “Right, forget I asked…”

“I’m glad we found you,” Twilight said. “We’re trying to figure out what to do with Magic Pants here.”

Rainbow Dash gave Twilight a confused look, her face still slightly green. “Magic Pants?”

“My full name is Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants!” the being of superbly good looks informed.

Rainbow Dash shook her head. “I’m not sure why I keep asking questions…”

“We’re trying to figure out what to do with her,” Twilight said.

“Have you tried drowning her?” Rainbow Dash said.

“Dash!” Twilight said in a chastising tone.

Applejack motioned up at Rainbow Dash with her fore hooves. “See?! Rainbow thinks we should kill it.”

“A.J.!” Twilight cried. “We can’t just kill sapient beings because they look funny.”

“She’s also really weird!” Rainbow Dash said. “Like… really, reallyweird!”

Twilight gave out a heavy sigh.

“Friends!” Magic Pants said in a melodic voice full of mirth and wonder. “Perhaps I can be of assistance! I can use my harmony ray to spread understanding.”

The three mares went quiet for a beat.

“Harmony ray?” Twilight asked.

Magic Pants nodded sublimely. “It’s a ray that spreads harmony.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Well, that cleared that up!”

Applejack nodded her head. “I know what you mean, sugarcube. It’s like tryin’ to have a conversation with a hypnotized chicken.”

“… That’s actually a thing?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Applejack looked up at her. “Look it up.”

Rainbow Dash glared down at Applejack. “Maybe I will!”

“Oh no!” Magic Pants said in a slightly alarmed voice that sounded like spun gold, but not too alarmed to make it sound like she didn’t have perfect control of the situation (which she did). “Please don’t fight! I’ll power-up my ray right away!”

“Please no,” Applejack said.

“Yeah… Pass…” Rainbow Dash added.

Twilight frowned as she looked between her two friends. “Come on, you guys! Help me out a little!”

“Look Twi,” Applejack began, “I wanna see this through with you, but I’m not gonna let her shoot me with no ray!”

“Fine! No ray!” Twilight said.

“That’s fine,” Magic Pants said in a calming, soothing tone. “I can also shoot a forgiveness spray out of my—”

“NOPE!” Rainbow Dash announced, and with that she flew as fast and as far away as her wings could carry her.

Twilight sighed and smacked a hoof against her face.

Applejack just stared after the rainbow trail Rainbow Dash left behind her. “Right… Could you explain ta me again how she’s the element of loyalty, again?”

Chapter 3: Fluttershy

Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic PantsChapter 3: Fluttershy-ooo-

Magic Pants, her magical, dark, shining fur glistening in the sunlight, pointed out towards Ponyville. “I’ve spotted another element bearer! We must make haste!”

Twilight’s face tightened slightly. “Okay, but you still haven’t explained—”

Magic Pants suddenly, but majestically, bolted from her cloud off towards the town. “HAAAAAASTE!” she cried as her gossamer wings shimmered brilliantly in the sun.

“Oh dear…” Twilight uttered as she broke into a gallop after her, Applejack close behind.

Applejack began to chant to herself. “Don’t be Fluttershy, don’t be Fluttershy, don’t be Fluttershy…”

The mares galloped as fast as their hooves would carry them as they kept an eye on the being that shimmered with a magic light flying above them.

As Twilight and Applejack crested a hill, they heard Magic Pants’s melodious voice above them.

“Ah! The element of kindness!” Magic Pants announced in her harpsichord-esque voice.

No sooner had Applejack spotted the butter-colored pegasus looking from side to side with a slightly confused look than she shouted, “Don’t look, Fluttershy!”

“MEEP!” Fluttershy cried as she quickly fell to her stomach and covered her eyes with her forehooves.

Applejack breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank Celestia we found you, Fluttershy,” Twilgiht said. “We need you for… uhhh…”

 “… What sounds like a talking harpsichord?” Fluttershy asked.

Applejack sighed. “It’s Magic Pants…”

“… Magical talking Pants?” Fluttershy said.

“No,” Twilight said. “She’s like… uh… a pony?”

“… Erm… Like a pony?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yes,” Applejack said. “Like… a big pony that’s been blended with a bunch of other stuff.”

“… Like Discord?” Fluttershy suggested.

Applejack paused and thought about this. “Well, it’s more like Discord was also thrown in with the big pony and the other stuff. Like when you’re makin’ apple surprise, and it’s mostly apples —which is the pony parts in this here case— but then Discord and a buncha other things get in there.”

“Oh…uh… erm… okay…” Fluttershy said.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Applejack, that made basically no sense.”

Applejack wrinkled her muzzle at Twilight. “Hey! Do you know how hard it is to come up with a different farm simile e’ry time you have to make an example?!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Have you tried not inserting the fact you work on a farm into every conversation you have?!”

“Uh…” Fluttershy uttered, her forehooves still over her eyes. “Should I start crawling away? This is getting kind of awkward for me… You know… more than usual.”

“Friends!” Magic Pants said as her face shined with infinite concern for the situation. “Shall I intervene? I have plenty of forgiveness spray for everypony!”

Twilight and Applejack cringed and as their faces tightened as if being sucked towards their muzzles’.

“We’re fine!” Twilight said as she quickly threw a leg around Applejack.

Applejack nodded her head up and down vigorously. “Why, we’re better friends than a cow and a milking machine!”

“Ew! A.J.!” Twilight exclaimed as she quickly removed her foreleg from around Applejack's shoulder and gave her a slightly disgusted look.

“Hey!” Applejack protested. “That was a good one and you know it!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “I think it oversells the nature of our relationship just a bit.”

“What?!” Applejack cried. “I’m jus’ saying our friendship is like a doohickey one sticks underneath them that sucks and massages away all the pressures of life.”

Twilight face went crimson.

“Uh… girls?” Fluttershy uttered. “Can I at least uncover my eyes so I know which way to run away from this conversation?”

Applejack and Twilight sighed.

“Maybe she should just look for herself,” Twilight suggested.

Applejack shook her head. “Ah still don’t think this is such a good idea…”

“Oh relax,” Twilight said. “Fluttershy is used to all kinds of things others consider scary. Remember the manticore?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “I do. I also distinctly remember no one throwing up when they saw it. Heck… Rarity ran right up and kicked it in the face. I don’t think—”

“Fear not!” Magic Pants said, her voice echoing melodiously in the warm Ponyville day. “The element of kindness is very accepting, and though I am nothing special to look at, I’m sure she will befriend me immediately,” said the very humble, but still beautiful rainbow-maned mare.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Right, cause it sounds like a good idea to listen to the strange mare who looks like Los Pegasus after an earthquake.”

“Applejack!” Twilight said in a chastising tone. “That’s not nice! Magic Pants can’t help the way she looks!”

Magic Pants opened her stunningly good-looking word hole. “Actually, as part changeling—”

“Anyhow, we shouldn’t pass judgment based on how Magic Pants looks,” Twilight said as she pulled her face into a look of slight panic.

Her eyes still covered, Fluttershy nodded. “Oh yes! Just because something looks different, doesn’t mean there’s reason to be afraid.”

Applejack sighed. “Arlight… jus’… Don’t say I didn’t warn ya…”

Fluttershy uncovered her eyes and stood up, staring straight into Magic Pants’s beautiful eyes. Her right eye had turned pink to signify Magic Pants’s heartfelt joy at meeting Fluttershy.

“Hello, element of kindness!” Magic Pants said as she smiled inspiringly at Fluttershy. “I am so glad to make your acquaintance.”

Fluttershy took one look at Magic Pants, smiled warmly…

“BLAAARAARAAAAGRGHGHGURRGLEGARAAAAAGRAAAA…!”

… and lost her lunch.

“Consarn it!” Applejack cried as she quickly took off her hat and threw it on the ground.

“Oh, come on!” Twilight exclaimed.

Applejack shook her head as she reached down for her cowboy hat. “Ah honestly can’t believe you expected anything else to happen.”

Twilight looked up towards the sky and let out an exasperated “UHHHHHG!” She looked back down at Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, we just—”

“BLUHHGHGHGHGCH…!”

“WE JUST WANT TO—”

“GLLLAARAARAAGHGH…!”

“PLEASE! JUST STOP LONG ENOUGH TO—”

“BAAAARPHPHRAAGHGHGHCHCH…!”

Twilight sighed. “Never mind…”

“BRAAGHGHARAGHGHARRRAGHHAAAARRRRPHCHCHCHCRAAARRAPGFFFFAAAAAR…!”

“Hey!” Applejack said. “Maybe Pinkie can help! I mean…. If anyone can put up with weirdness, it’s her.”

Twilight looked up to the sky thoughtfully and tapped her chin. “Good thinking, App—”

“GLARPH…!”

“Oh come on!” Twilight exclaimed angrily as she turned towards Fluttershy. “I’m not even…”

“ERGRERRPHAARRRRFFF…!”

Twilight sighed. “Let’s just go…”

“RAAGRAAARAPHFFFRAAAACHCHC…!”

Chapter 4: Pinkie Pie

Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic PantsChapter 4: Pinkie Pie-ooo-

“We must now make our way to the element of laughter!” Magic Pants announced in a voice as crisp as the morning air as Twilight, Applejack, and her trotted away from Fluttershy, who was busy sobbing uncontrollably.

Twilight turned towards Magic Pants, averting her eyes slightly as the sun above caught the crystal changeling-bat-pony-zebra-draconequus-breezie’s crystal body and fired a rainbow directly at Twilight. “Okay, but you still haven’t explained—”

“TO SUGARCUBE CORNER!” Magic Pants exclaimed in a voice like an angel’s choir accompanied by an angel’s marching band.

Twilight sighed as Magic Pants flew off. “Well… At least Pinkie might not freak out…”

“Are you sure this a good idea Twi?!” Applejack exclaimed.

“If anypony can handle Magic Pants, it’s Pinkie…”

“Maybe…” Applejack uttered. “… But who knows what she’ll do when she sees her! What if she tries to throw a big party fer her and brings her all over town?”

Twilight’s eyes went wide. “Oh no! We have to warn her!” Twilight suddenly spread her wings and took flight.

Applejack sighed. “Alright… I’ll jus’ run some more…” She uttered in a grumpy tone as she broke into a gallop. “Since I can’t fly or nothin’…”

Twilight flew at full speed, soon coming across Magic Pants as she descended to the ground, right in front of Sugar Cube corner. A few citizens of Ponyville all stopped what they were doing and fled as fast and as loudly as the could as they caught sight of Magic Pants, her magnificence simply too much for them to behold.

Magic Pants began to trot up to the front door of Sugarcube Corner, regally raising each foot before daintily setting it down once more.

Twilight quickly teleported herself in front of Magic Pants.

Magic Pants halted majestically.

“Wait!” Twilight pleaded, she leaned her head down slightly as she tried to catch her breath. “Let me just... huff… puff… just go inside and let Pinkie and any pony inside know you’re coming.”

Magic Pants gave Twilight a perplexed look as Applejack came galloping up and stood next to Twilight.

“You wish to announce me?” the brilliantly shiny pony asked as Applejack also tried to catch her breath.

Twilight stopped for a moment to think about this. “… Yes,” she answered.

“Huff… puff… You mean warn other ponies…” Applejack uttered.

A small “Ooff” escaped Applejack as Twilight planted a hoof into her side while grinning nervously at Magic Pants. She wrinkled her brow and shot a small irritated glance at Twilight.

“Oh, Twilight,” Magic Pants said in a voice as warm as freshly made pancakes. “Despite the fact that I’m the most royal of royals, I am also very humble and do not expect ponies to treat me differently.”

“It’s fine!” Twilight insisted. “I mean… I know a… erm… accepting pony such as yourself will be fine with whatever you’re given… but uh… erm…”

Applejack took a half step forward. “Ah think what Twilight is tryin’ to say is that ponies would feel more comfortable if they had just a little time to prepare for yer arrival… You know… you being super royalty or whatever…”

“Oh dear…” Magic Pants uttered in a voice as gentle as the fuzzy fur of a kitten. “Well I don’t wish for ponies to feel overwhelmed by my unexpected visit.”

Twilight’s face lit up as she reached for the door. “Well, just let Applejack and I… er… mentally prepare Pinkie Pie for your arrival!”

Magic Pants waved grandly as Twilight and Applejack quickly piled into Sugarcube corner. “I shall wait patiently here to be called and simply bestow love and joy at all those who pass by,” Magic Pants said, the melodic echo of her flawless voice only slightly interrupted by a pony’s high-pitched scream from down the street.

Twilight flashed Magic Pants one last nervous grin, then closed the door after her, breathing a sigh of relief. “Thanks, A.J.”

“Sure, sugarcube,” Applejack replied. “Let’s just hope we can wrangle Pinkie from doin’ somethin’ too crazy… even by Pinkie standards.”

Twilight paused for a second. “… We’re pretty bucked, aren’t we?”

Applejack nodded. “I reckon so…”

Twilight and Applejack walked up to the front counter of Sugar Cube corner, mentally celebrating the store was empty at the moment, save the familiar pink pony smiling widely at them from behind a counter of colorful treats.

Pinkie Pie waved enthusiastically as the two approached. “Hello Twilight! Hello Applejack! Crazy screaming weather we’re having today, huh?”

Applejack pursed her lips slightly. “Well, that’s all on account of the new… sorta-pony that’s come to town.”

Pinkie gasped. “A new sorta-pony in town?! We have to throw her a not-sorta welcoming party!”

“NO!” Twilight exclaimed. “No party! Not yet…”

“No party?!” Pinkie cried in disbelief. “We can’t have that! How will all the ponies of Ponyville enjoy the splonderful feeling of meeting some pony new if we don’t throw a big ‘ol party?!”

“By keepin’ as far away from this gal as possible!” Applejack answered.

“A.J., seriously!” Twilight cried. “Can you at least try to work this out with me here?”

“Well, you know as well as Ah do that a party is a bad idea…” Applejack turned and cocked an eyebrow at Pinkie. “‘Splonderful’?”

Pinkie frowned at Applejack. “Splendid plus wonderful,d’uuuuuh! And since when is it a bad idea to throw a party, ever?!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Ow…” she exclaimed as she raised a forehoof to said eyebrow.

Twilight tilted her head slightly and looked at Applejack in concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Ah need to switch which eyebrow I raise for a bit,” Applejack said as she raised and lowered her other eyebrow a bit. “Ah think I’ve overworked one…” She turned back to Pinkie. “An’ remember the day my family was sad ‘cause Winona’s mom passed?”

Pinkie pursed her lips and thought for a moment. “… Okay, ‘Happy dead pet day’ was kinda a bad idea, but this is a welcome party! Aside from birthday parties, they’re like… the most important parties ever!”

“Pinkie?” Twilight began.  “While Applejack’s delivery could use some work—”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Jus’ tryin’ to keep an awful lot of pony breakfasts and lunches from comin’ out the wrong end…”

Twilight creased her brow and shot an irritated glance out into wall-passed Pinkie. “—she’s right in that our new arrival is maybe not party material… because of… erm… reasons…”

“Reasons?” Pinkie replied. “What kind of reasons?! Ooo! Ooo! Is she too sassy? Clashy? Trashy? Gas—”

Applejack quickly placed a forehoof against Pinkie’s mouth as she looked at Twilight. “Twilight?” she said. “Ah think its okay to admit that Magic Pants is so utterly bizarre-looking, we’re having to be cautious about who sees her.”

Outside, a group of school-aged foals all screamed and ran past one of the windows of Sugarcube corner.

Applejack frowned. “Even if we’re no good at it…”

“Wait children!” Magic Pants cried from outside in a voice as inviting as a freshly laundered welcome mat. “I only wish to share the magical candy produced from my sweet glands!”

Twilight sighed heavily and hung her head.

Pinkie gasped. “Magic Pants! Best name ever! And she sweats… sweets…? Candy! I knew my horrorscope was wrong when it said I’d be visited by unimaginable horror!”

Twilight looked up at Pinkie. “Actually, her full name is Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants.”

Pinkie depleted the area in front of her of oxygen. “EVEN BETTER NAME!”

Applejack creased her brow at Pinkie slightly. “I think you meant ‘horoscope’, not ‘horrorscope’, sugarcube.”

Pinkie shook her head. “No! My horoscope said that today I’d wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep! So far, it’s been dead on…”

Twilight shot Pinkie a quizzical look. “Wait, so you actually have something that gives you a daily ‘horrorscope’?”

Pinkie nodded. “Yepper! But it pretty much says the same thing every day…” Pinkie rolled her eyes, a happy smile still on her face. “I don’t even know why I even check it!”

“Well, it jus’ may come true today,” Applejack said.

“A.J.!” Twilight said sternly.

“What?” Applejack protested. “She’s pretty dang scary-lookin’! You know it, I know it, everypony who’s seen her today knows it…”

“Oh, silly fillies!” Pinkie said with a dismissive wave of her forehoof. “It’s not the outside that counts, but the insides! And inside everypony is the same army of tiny gnome-ponies that take our food and deliver it to the parts of the body it needs to go to!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow, taking care to choose the one she hadn’t pulled just minutes ago. “Pinkie, Ah’m not sure you have a completely accurate grasp about how the insides of ponies work…”

Twilight raised a forehoof. “It’s fine, I’m sure Pinkie can handle a little weirdness.”

Applejack lowered her eyebrow, turned to Twilight, then raised it again. “A little?”

“Applejack! That’s not nice!”

Applejack shook her head. “I’ve jus’ seen what too many ponies had to eat after them gnomes had gotten to it.”

Twilight let out a frustrated groan.

“Gee, Applejack,” Pinkie said. “You seem to be talking a lot about pony’s food and where it ends up today,” she mused.

“Yer about to find out why,” Applejack uttered.

“She’ll be fine!” Twilight insisted in a voice that hinted that she was trying to convince herself as well as anypony.

“You hear that, Applejack?” Pinkie asked. “I’ll be fine! And if Twilight’s princess sense says it’s true, it must be.”

Twilight cocked her head slightly and raised an eyebrow. “Pinkie, that’s not a thing…”

The front door to Sugarcube Corner suddenly opened, revealing the being of splonderful beauty on the other side. “Is some pony in need of my princess sense?!” Magic Pants asked in a voice as full of concern as it was with illustriousness.

Pinkie grinned wide and turned towards the door. “Oh Helloooh-hoooo-oooooh-noooo…”

“Ah, The Element of Laughter!” Magic Pants said as she fluttered up next to Applejack and Twilight and extended a forehoof. “It’s a pleasure! I too spread mirth and merriment wherever I go!”

Pinkie held her giant grin for a couple seconds before her eye twitched and she let out a high-pitched shriek. “AAAAAIEEEEEEE! Kill it! Kill it!”

“Pinkie, calm down!” Twilight exclaimed. “She’s just here to help! … I think…”

Pinkie reached into her display case and started flinging cupcakes at Magic Pants. “KILL IT!”

‘Splat! Splat!’

“Awww...” Magic Pants uttered with a smile as cupcakes splattered against her body. “She’s bestowing gifts upon me!”

“KILL IT WITH FIRE!” Pinkie suddenly reached into her mane and pulled out a can of hairspray and a silver lighter. Despite the immense fear she felt at even looking upon Magic Pants, she leaned forward onto the case and held the lighter and can of hairspray mere inches away from the crystalline being whose mane continued to shimmer with beautiful neon rainbow light.

“Twilight!” Applejack cried as she pulled Twilight away from the front case. “Get down!”

“PINKIE!” Twilight cried, extending a forehoof as Applejack dragged her back several feet. “WAIT!”

Pinkie didn’t wait. She, in fact, did the opposite of ‘wait’, which in this case meant quickly creating a small flame with her lighter and spraying the hairspray at it. A small inferno suddenly erupted from the can and lighter.

“Pinkie! NO!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Welp,” Applejack said as she tilted her hat up, “coulda been worse…”

Magic Pants giggled as the flames licked her face. “And she does tricks! She is truly the Element of Laughter.”

Applejack sighed. “It’s worse…”

“OH CELESTIA!” Pinkie shrieked as she ceased spraying Magic Pants with flames. “She can’t be killed! I need… I think I need to throw up…”

Pinkie made a mad dash for bathroom.

Twilight let out a frustrated groan and turned to Applejack. “When she gets out, do you think we can convince her to stick around and help figure out what to do with Magic Pants?”

Applejack cocked an eyebrow. “She tried to set her on fire, Twilight. Unless ye’re lookin’ for some other way to off this crock-pot of mystery stew, I think maybe we just write off Pinkie and move onto… onto…” Applejack frowned and trailed off.

Twilight sighed heavily. “Rarity?”

Magic Pants nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! We should make haste to the Element of Generosity.”

Applejack hung her head. “Oh, this won’t be pretty…”

Magic Pants suddenly reached out for Twilight and Applejack and pulled them close to her. “Hold tightly to my friendship flank, friends.”

“… What?” Twilight uttered as her face contorted in confusion.

“… Pass…” Applejack said.

“We shall teleport directly to Carousel Boutique!” Magic Pants announced in a voice as soothing as aloe on sun-burnt skin.

Applejack frowned heavily as she quickly hooked an arm around one of Magic Pants’ back legs. “Teleport? Ya mean we aren’t gonna warn—”

‘PIZZAAAAAP!’

Chapter 5: Rarity

Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic PantsChapter 5: Rarity-ooo-

‘PIZZAAAAAP!’

“… her…” Applejack said, trailing off with an irritated look as she, Twilight, and Magic Pants (whose luscious, glowing, neon-rainbow hair billowed about her in the breezeless room) suddenly appeared in amongst the racks of colorful clothing in Carousel Boutique.

“Behold!” Magic Pants said in a grandiose tone that also highlighted her great humility as she motioned out to the boutique in a stately, yet humble manner. “The dwelling of the Element of Generosity.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Yes, we’ve all been to Rarity’s boutique, thanks.”

“Hrmmm…” Twilight hummed thoughtfully as she glanced around. “No sign of Rarity, maybe she’s out at the moment?”

“We sure lucked out then,” Applejack said. “I doubt she’d react any better than any other pony so far.”

“Hello?” Rarity called out from a nearby room. “Is somepony out there?”

Applejack sighed heavily. “We just can’t catch a break today, can we?”

“It’s Applejack and me!” Twilight called. “We have an, erm… situation that requires your attention… apparently.”

“Oh, well I’ll be right there, darling!”

“No wait!” Applejack cried. “Rarity, don’t just—”

Rarity suddenly appeared in the doorway, her red sewing glasses perched on her muzzle.

“Hello Rarity, the Element of Generosity bearer,” Magic Pants greeted with all the skill of a butler for a deific being. “It is an honor to meet you.”

Applejack sighed. “—walk in here…”

Rarity said nothing as her eyes drifted onto Magic Pants. Her expression remained neutral as she looked over the superbly glowing and sparkling being.

Twilight tilted her head and stared at Rarity, as if waiting for some sort of reaction. She motioned to Magic Pants. “Uh… Rarity… this is Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants… We’ve been calling her ‘Magic Pants’. She needs to see you for… erm… some reason that really isn’t clear to us yet.”

“I see…” Rarity said with a bod. She suddenly smiled. “Excuse me everypony, I’ve been working several hours non-stop and must take a short break to freshen up. Give me a brief minute or two and I’ll happily assist with whatever you may need.”

Magic Pants beamed with teeth as white as a great being that was voiced or even played by Morgan Freeman. “Marvelous, you truly are the Element of Generosity.”

“Huh…” Applejack uttered as she watched Rarity trot off into a nearby room and close the door after her. “She took that way better than expec—”

“GLORPHRGHGHARARAAARRRGH!”

Applejack scrunched her lips up. “Never mind…”

Twilight sighed heavily. “Is everypony going to do that when they see Magic Pants?! It’s getting old.”

Applejack shook her head. “Twilight, I think yer just gonna have to accept that Magic Pants is just so bizarre lookin’ to most ponies that they can’t help but lose their lunch when they see her.”

Magic Pants nodded splendidly, then raised a forehoof to her forehead with all the grace of thirty swans who knew ballet and ice skating performing a choreographed number. “My looks are both a gift and a curse! Oh, woe is me! If only if I were not gift-cursed with such shimmering beauty too stunning for mortal ponies to properly take in at first glance!”

Applejack sighed heavily. “If only.”

Twilight gave Applejack an indignant look. “I’ve managed to hold my food down this entire time! I really don’t get what the big deal is!”

“Twi, yer always working on that crazy magic stuff. I don’t even wanna know half the things you’ve seen.”

-ooooooo-<

Spike slowly pushed open the door to his and Twilight’s quarters in Canterlot Castle. These quarters happened to be a spacious, multi-floored ‘room’ that functioned as both his and Twilight’s bedroom, as well as Twilight’s study, laboratory and personal library. A massive, multi-story tall window flooded the area with daylight along with many other smaller windows. Despite how easy one might think it was to see inside their quarters, the whole thing was set atop a massive spire of the castle so that its height and distance from the other spires kept what happened inside rather private.

Despite how great all of these seemed at first glance, there were many aspects of the quarters that Spike had grown to dislike. The fact that the quarters served as Twilight’s personal laboratory, the fact that almost no one could see what was going on inside, and the fact that the light made it so easy to see what was going on when one was inside were a few good examples.

“Hey, Twilight. What’s shakiahAhaHAHAAAAAAAAA!”

Today would be no exception. To Spike’s disgust and horror, his purple unicorn roommate held aloft some… thing with her magic next to her work area of potions and books. Spike could only describe the thing as a small mixture of lumpy flesh, long-black hairs that seemed to poke out in all directions, and blood that covered the creature in a messy and seemingly sticky layer.

“Spike! You’re just in time!” Twilight said cheerfully.

Spike gulped. “Please say you need me to set that thing on fire! I’m sure the smell will be horrific, but it can’t be worse than looking at it!”

“Oh Spike, don’t be silly!” Twilight said as she shook her head. “This is a mythical creature from the land of Nippony known as a ‘Sankai’—”

Spike crossed a pair of claws and began chanting quality to himself. “Don’t say you’re studying it… Don’t say you’re studying it… Don’t say you’re studying it…”

“—I had it sent here so I could study it!”

“CELESTIA DAMN IT!”

Twilight furrowed her brow at Spike. “Language, young dragon!”

Suddenly the Sankai opened it’s ‘mouth’, or at least some sort of orifice that seemed to contain a set of teeth randomly placed within a circular opening. It made a strange gurgling sound as blood oozed from the opening and dripped to the floor.

“Hehe, Oh dear,” Twilight said as she looked at the puddle of fresh blood on the floor. “Spike, would you get the mop?”

Spike cringed. “Fine… but then I’m taking the hottest, longest bath in all of Equestrian history.”

“Spike, there’s no time for that now!” Twilight insisted. “I need you to shave the Sankai while I hold it down!”

  <-ooooooo->

Twilight narrowed her eyes at Applejack. “Well maybe other ponies should open a few more books and explore the wonders of Equestria’s magical creatures!”

“Oh no, you mustn’t fight!” Magic Pants said with all the concern of a mother to all things big, small, and also possibly smelly under creation. “I’m sure my—”

“PLEASE don’t say anything about yer forgiveness spray!” Applejack cried.

Magic Pants smiled with all the tenderness of a matriarch to all beings, be they large, miniscule, or unpleasant to olfactory senses. “No, my little pony! I was going to suggest my calming torrent of unity excretion.”

The ponies went silent as the sound of a toilet flushing could be heard from the room Rarity occupied.

Applejack’s face twisted in disgust as she shuddered. “That’s mighty kind of you, but Ah really have trouble imagining being calmed down by a torrent of anything’s excretion…”

The muffled sound of running water was heard, soon followed by the light squeak of a faucet. Rarity’s bathroom door opened and the white mare herself trotted back into the room, quickly closing the door behind her.  She almost looked no worse for wear, save for the dark smudges of mascara under her eyes.

“So sorry for dashing off like that,” Rarity said.

Applejack shook her head. “Believe me, yer much better off havin’ done that.”

Twilight gave Rarity an apologetic look. “Look Rarity… We’re sorry to just… pop in here like this.”

“And with this,” Applejack added as she motioned to Magic Pants.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “It’s just that… Well, maybe you can help. You see, ponies keep screaming and losing the contents of their stomachs every time they see Magic Pants… I thought maybe you had an outfit or could quickly make something that would distract from her… uh…”

“My beautiful, shimmering, dark radiance?” Magic Pants suggested in a helpful, melodic tone reminiscent of some sort of divinely touched librarian.

Twilight sighed. “Yeah, sure…”

“Hmmm… Yes… I could see… cough… see the problem…” Rarity said as she peered at Magic Pants through her sewing glasses. “Perhaps I could stick a number of burlap sacks together. Enough to cover her… completely.”

Magic Pants smiled with the warmth of the shimmering sun. “You are indeed the most generous of ponies, Rarity. But my radiance must shine like a beacon for all of Equestria to see…”

Rarity sighed. “I predict all of Equestria will lose much weight then.”

“Rarity!” Twilight snapped.

Applejack snickered to herself.

“I’m sorry, Twilight,” Rarity said, “but you’re asking me to…” Rarity frowned. “… to…”

Applejack spoke up. “Tryin’ to put lipstick on a pig that’s also mutated and glowing from severe magical energy overdose?”

“Applejack!” Twilight cried.

“Hmmm…” Rarity hummed. “That was actually a lot nicer than what I was going to suggest.”

Twilight shook her head. “Actually, I was just surprised Applejack knew about MEO.”

“Ah work a farm that’s right next door to tha Everfree forest.” Applejack’s eyes unfocused as she stared off into no direction in particular. “Ah have seen some things almost as bad as what I’ve had to deal with today.”

Magic Pants suddenly tensed, but in a regal way that showed she actually wasn’t afraid or surprised. “My rainbow sense tells me we’re needed elsewhere!”

Applejack cocked her eyebrow, which was not yet cocked out from excess cocking. “Ah thought you had a ‘princess sense’?”

Magic Pants paused, but elegantly like a videogame which, when paused, displayed the word ‘Pause’ in elegant calligraphy. “My princess sense tells me we’re needed elsewhere!” Magic Pants said in a commanding, by kind tone of voice as if she hadn’t said something similar just prior because she didn’t, and if you think she did or scroll up and see otherwise, you’re wrong and also hallucinating and maybe should go see a doctor. “We must make haste to Canterlot! To my friendship flank!” She said in her commanding, yet gentle tone.

Twilight and Applejack sighed in a tone not dissimilar to that of being asked to do menial farm labor and boring paperwork respectively as they sidestepped closer to Magic Pants and grabbed a hold of her.

Rarity gulped. “Will you be needing me for this… erm, little jaunt?” She said in a worried tone.

Applejack looked at Rarity in surprise. “Yer passing up an opportunity to go to Canterlot?”

Rarity paused as she stared at Applejack and Twilight. Both ponies’ legs were wrapped around Magic Pants’ hind legs. “Yes. I absolutely am doing that.”

“Come on, Rarity,” Twilight said. “I’m sure we can use your he—”

“THERE’S NO TIME!” Magic Pants cried in an authoritative but benevolent tone. “WE MUST LEAVE NOW!”

“But she’s right here!” Twilight said. “She could just trot over and—”

‘PIZZAAAAAP!’

In a brilliant flash of rainbow, neon, sparkles and awesome, Magic Pants disappeared, taking Twilight and Applejack with her.

Rarity breathed a sigh of relief. “I thought they’d never leave…” she said as she trotted towards the entrance of Carousel Boutique. “I sure hope the store is well-stocked on ice cream,” she said to no one in particular, “because I daresay I’m going to break my own speed and quantity record…”

Chapter 6: Flash Sentry

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 7: Celestia and Luna

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 8: Discord

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 9: Queen Chrysalis

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 10: Dragon Lord Torch & Ember

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 11: The Griffons

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 12: Diamond Dogs

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 13: Buffalo

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 14: Yaks

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 15: Breezies

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 16: The Age of Peace

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Prologue

Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic PantsPrologue-ooooooo-

Hidden between the sun, moon, and Equestria, in the veil of space where reality is thin and magic floods the land like milk (that is also magic) resides a special being. A creature of light and darkness, of rainbows and crystals, of hopes and starlight, of neon and happiness, of power and hope, of wisdom and hopefulness.

Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants’ eyelids fluttered open as if she was suddenly awoken from an ancient and powerful slumber. Her large, but also delicate, breezee lashes quivered slightly against the purple flowing magic of her eyes. “I must go!” she announces to nothing, but possibly also everything. “Princess Twilight Sparkle needs me!”

With that, Princess Changeling Rainbow Magic Pants disappeared into thick magical air in a puff of sparkly rainbow neon smoke.