Tirek

by thatguy45

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 2399

Tirek a brilliant scientist, is sent to equestria.

tirek is a brilliant man, with an I.Q. of 370. he invented 3300 things (of very-ing significance). one day, a relative from Europe gave him a mirror. he thought nothing of it, for four years, until one day a portal opened up and sucked up him, his brother, and his lab.

he wakes up, as a centaur monster, his brother some kind of ape with wings, and his lab transported into a cave. a subsequent analysis of their surroundings brings them to the conclusion that they were not on earth.

he left a journal, chronicling his adventures

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-04 21:10:47 UTC

journal #1-#20

Entry one.

I never would have expected it. A relative, from some country in Europe, i can't remember the name, sent me a mirror, for my birthday. The mirror is- was ornate, with several ivory statues attached on the top. The statues depict what appears to be two symmetric pegacorn, yes that is a real term, raising their heads to the sun. Six gems, an amethyst, a ruby, a topaz, an emerald, a sapphire, and a weird, pink gem. The gems have their own statues, another pegacorn, two pegasai, a unicorn, and two more regular horses. Actually, that’s not right. All the statues on the mirror are weirdly proportioned. Rather short legs, and huge eyes and shortened faces. Odd.

Entry two.

A miracle happened. After four years of the mirror sitting useless in my lab, manly it being there so i can see my reflection (I’m not vain- it helps to see how long your beard is so you know how long you've been in there). Other than that, i had no use for it. Then suddenly in the middle of the night i was working in the lab when a blue light flashed all over the room. The mirror was shining, with a swirling look. After poking it with a stick in fear a series of tests, i determined it was a doorway of some sort. Considering that it was in the middle of the room, i was guessing that it was a doorway to something else entirely. I woke scorpan up and we started tests right away.

Entry three.

I’ve done it. After several comprehensive experiments, i managed to keep the door open. With a measure of 200 bq's of gamma radiation, we were protected of course, We kept it open. It had to be kept in a lead box, but we were still okay. Only time will tell if the doorway is safe.

I sighed and put down the pen. I didn't know why i was writing in my journal. I didn't want one in the first place, but scorpan insisted. I stretched and slid out of the desk. I looked over to the enclosure we had erected over the mirror. I yawned and was about to go to bed when i heard a beeping noise. I knew that sound. I had heard it a lot in the first few weeks of trying to contain the mirror. It was the sound of a containment breach.

"Tirek! What happened!" scorpan ran in, he was in his sleeping gown. I keep telling him not to wear that; only a woman would wear that. Well, i guess he didn't like my nose ring, so que, sera, and sera. he looked over to the box containing the mirror and grabbed a homeostasis box.

Wonderful invention #15!

The homeostasis box

The homeostasis box is, as the name suggests, is a box that keeps your body stable. For example, when wearing it, you won't get heat stroke, or hypothermia. It will also keep out any unwanted radiation (Results may vary). The only foreseeable problem is the fact of scientifically illiterate people. Thanks to idiots, it was pulled off the shelves, because someone figured that it would allow them to breath under water. Sadly, that is not the case, as the device only keeps out things that you can't touch. It also, unfortunately, keeps out air. So you have eight hours of breath. Luckily, though, the batteries give out in six!

I was already wearing mine, i only take it off to change the batteries, and so we both cautiously approached the box. It was glowing blue, like hurt your eyes blue. I opened the door and watched, gaping, and the box engulfed the door. We looked at the rapidly disappearing laboratory, and then at each other, and then, in a moment when we agreed with each other, ran the other way. But it was for naught. A rather big piece of wall crashed into us and pulled us into the swirling blue of the portal.

Entry four.

The first thing i remember was this stupid journal slapping me in the face. I picked it up, and threw it away. I tried to get up, and regretted it. It was like trying to leave your bed with a schnapps and vodka hangover. Impossible. With great difficulty, i managed to focus my vision long enough to see three things. One, i was still in my lab coat, two, i had my homeostasis box, but it was sparking, so i assume that it was offline. And three, i had four hooved feet. I screamed like a little girl with Tourette’s.

"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE! What the flying blue fuck!" i certainly remembered not having hooves before.  I would have kept screaming if my blaring headache hadn’t given me 'the peoples elbow' right then. I just barely registered someone sounding like scorpan talking to me.

"Wow, you’re messed up."

"Fuck off. What did i drink last night?"

Absolutely nothing. Don’t you remember?"

"No. I’m having trouble remembering my name."

"Well, we got smacked by a large piece of wall, than sucked into the swirling blue portal we were researching."

"... Oh yeah. So where are we?"

"No idea. The ozo-meter says were nowhere near earth"

Wonderful invention #4!

The ozo-meter

The ozo-meter is a fantastical device, praised all over by anybody and everybody who gives two shits about the environment. It, using air currents and other smart stuff you wouldn't understand (and before you ask, neither do i), analyzes the levels of greenhouse gasses, ozone, and some other stuff, it tells you how much ozone is left and whatnot. I dunno.

"The ozo-meter analyzes on a global scale. From what I’m reading, were either on a different planet, or every trace of humanity past the 1300's has disappeared."

"..." Now, scorpan is by no means stupid. Lord knows, that's why i took him in. but i had to see if that was right. I was  able to see straight by then, so i grabbed the ozo-meter and looked at it intently. It was right. The ozone levels were huge compared to what they were when we left. I grabbed my forehead and squeezed. I rarely do this. It usually means that i find something so exasperating that i can't deal with it right then. I let loose a long and exasperated sigh, and said, "now, be a dear and help me up."

I saw two huge claws, presumably part of scorpan, grab my arms and try to pull me up. After a few minutes of pulling he figured to push me off my side, so i could get up on my own two (four) feet (hooves). I was a little dizzy, happens when you get up to fast, and looked around. I was at least ten feet tall, by my estimate. I looked at scorpan and was rather perturbed. He had a huge lions mane, a pronounced snout, and wings. I would have thought that he was a manticore, if not for the fact that he had a small, tasseled tail, instead of the usual stinger. He looked about six feet tall. I looked around, and saw pieces of my lab all around the clearing where i was. A small stream trickled around nearby. I said,

"Where’s the rest of our stuff?"

Entry five

I was rather disturbed with my new appearance. I have black and dark red skin, which appears to be permanent. The hairstyle i had, my long hair moussed up into two symmetric horns, has now become actual horns. I originally thought of myself as a centaur, because i had both hands and four hooves. But scorpan was quick to point out that i looked more like a magnataur, from WoW. He led me to a cave where apparently most of the lab ended up. I found most of my stuff- blueprints, prototypes, that sort- and it was all intact. Not a scratch. Amazing.

Entry six

The change didn't stop at altering my appearance. I was taking a piss conducting field research, when i happened to touch a tree. The tree was quickly engulfed by a black corona, and then it shriveled up and disappeared. I quickly touched more. I learned several things.

One: anything alive that i touched shriveled up and died.

Two: inanimate objects don’t shrivel up, but simply retained the corona.

Three: i gain complete control over said inanimate objects. I can mold them to whatever i wish.

Four: i apparently i steal the life force of living things and use it to augment my own power. As far as i can tell, the shriveling is a side-affect of me basically eating them from the inside out. I can shoot fire out of my hands and eyes. I have no doubt that I’m not even scratching the surface of my new powers.

"Okay, try this." scorpan threw me an apple, presumably from the few apple trees out side. The apple was engulfed by the corona, and within a few seconds, the apple had shriveled up and disappeared. "Okay, so thing that once were alive are absorbed, but take a few seconds. Interesting." he was furiously writing in his journal. I had given him that journal 3 years ago, so that he could write stuff down. Admittedly, he used it mainly for writing down research notes, but there were a few doodles and personal writings in there. He was about to say something else when one of my flying eyes came in through the cave entrance, beeping wildly.

Amazing invention #201!

The flying eye

the flying eye is one of tirek's few military inventions. It has a metallic, round design, with two small antennas on the top and bottom. The flying eye is equipped with an A.I, so it doesn't need approval for everything. It was designed to search out places, without compromising your position. It is equipped with camouflage abilities, so it can stay to the sidelines, without being observed. It also has a small laser, so that it can cut through things. It has a camera, constantly sending information back to the server they're connected to. It also has a self-destruct option, in the case that it it self was compromised. You never know, the enemy could trace it back to you.

The beeping continued for a few seconds before scorpan grabbed it and hooked it up to the computer. The footage was surprising.

"Smoke?"

Entry seven

The flying eye was a brilliant idea. I am extremely glad i had several in the lab. Scorpan said that i didn't need them. The laboratory was secure, he said. Hah! I got the last laugh!

Smoke could mean anything. A small hut, a town, a village, it could mean anything. I commanded the flying eye- #311- to scout it out.

Flying eye #311: online

Order: scout out nearby town

The flying eye, going at speeds of nearly 30 MPH, reached the town in 2 hours.

Observation: town is unprotected, with large, idyllic houses, with several interesting species of plants and animals.

311 flew up to a rabbit, which looked him over and screeched something unintelligible.

Observation: rabbit, Oryctolagus cuniculus, has attempted to communicate. This contradicts most scientific research on the species.

The rabbit continued yelling gibberish when a loud, yet somehow quiet, voice yelled, "angel, come here!" #311 clicked, then camouflaged. A yellow Pegasus with pink hair walked over, picked up the rabbit, and subsequently walked away.

Observation: unknown species. Studying::::

Hooves

Long, square snout

2-2-1\2 inch tail

Kingdom: mammalian

Phylum: unknown

Class: equine

Order: unknown

Family: unknown

Genus: unknown

Species: unknown

Observation: unknown species going into sod-roof house. : Follow.

311, still camouflaged, slowly followed the yellow Pegasus towards the house. It watched through a window as the Pegasus put the rabbit on a chair, pulled it up to a table, and went into the kitchen. A few minutes more, she brought out a salad, and put it in front of the rabbit. The rabbit- angel- looked it up and down, and then threw it against a wall, shouting gibberish again. The Pegasus said,

"Oh angel I’m so sorry! Your right, i shouldn't have given you carrots when you wanted radishes! I’ll go to the market, to get you some."

The Pegasus opened the door, somehow, and left with two saddlebags on her back.

Observation: unknown species going to "market". : Follow

311 followed the Pegasus, just far enough that she wouldn't see it, but close enough to watch her every move. The Pegasus went over to the town, then halfway to the center, took a sharp right, then walked into a large mass of ponies, effectively disappearing.

Observation: unknown species has disappeared into a herd of other unknowns of the same species.

311 looked around, and flew up to the top of a house, where it observed the entirety of the market place. After a bit of searching, it saw the Pegasus it was stalking, talking to another unknown.

Observation: unknown species conversing w/ other unknown. : Follow other unknown.

When the two ponies broke off, #311 followed the other purple one. This one had both wings and a horn. A lizard of some sort was following this one. #311 clicked, then followed.

Twilight sparkle had a weird day. First, there was a massive explosion in the everfree, which for some reason she couldn't pin down, and then pieces of concrete and metal were found, completely drained of magic. All in all, very weird. Not only that, but she had a sneaking suspicion that she was being followed. Looking behind her, she thought she saw something, but it quickly disappeared.

Observation: purple unknown appears to have noticed #311's blinking light, but didn't seem to notice when #311 went into camouflage mode. : continue following.

twilight sparkle went along her way, now sure that something was following her. a plan began to form. she banked left, behind a building.

Observation: purple unknown has made a sharp left turn into an alleyway. : proceed with caution. : open direct video with headquarters.

311 turned the corner, following twilight, and was caught by a purple bird cage. she grinned. no escape! she looked at the odd creature. it looked like a parasprite, but had a more metallic sheen. she scratched her chin.

WARNING! purple unknown has captured the enemy!. : SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED 10...9...8...