Chapters “So, long story short, we’re all dead.”
Five mares stared at their friend, each drawing faces of horror to shock to everything in between.
“What do you mean we’re dead?!” Rainbow demanded, eyes dancing around the darkened halls of Twilight’s castle. Scorning the regal walls were unsightly waves of scorch marks spiraling into an epicenter on the ash-riddled floor.
Twilight sighed, “Yeah… I messed up that spell pretty badly. I’ll admit I’ve done worse, but that was awful.”
“Worse?” Rarity cried, “What could be worse than this? We’re all dead! We’re just ghosts of our former selves!”
“Good one, Rarity,” Pinkie giggled. Rarity looked back incredulously.
“Let’s not panic, girls,” Twilight said, taking a turn to look into each of their concerned faces, “I can fix this.”
“How could you possibly fix this? Dead means dead, Twilight,” the designer retorted.
“Necromancy,” she said nonchalantly, calmly returning her friend’s stare.
“…Of course.”
“Now then,” Twilight said, looking around the room, “Does anyone know where our bodies are? We’ll need those.”
“You’re standing in them,” Applejack deadpanned.
The alicorn looked down to the piles of ashes at her feet. Then she looked up at her friends once more and awkwardly took a few steps back. “I can still fix this.”
“Can you?” Applejack said, an eyebrow raised.
“…Yes. I’ll just need a bit more time.”
“So what are we supposed to do until then? Just be dead?” Rainbow asked.
Twilight waved her hoof. “Go… Wait, Fluttershy, where are you going?”
Five sets of eyes turned to her as she silently walked away, her eyes glazed over. Ignoring their calls, she continued her seemingly aimless path down the hall.
Rainbow frowned then took off with a flap of her wings, landing in front of the canary pegasus. “Hey, where’re ya going?”
Fluttershy blinked as the life, or remains of it, returned to her eyes. “Oh!” she said, eyes widening in surprise, “What just happened?”
“You were walking away from us all creepy-like,” Pinkie called, bouncing on her hooves over to the two pegasi, “You were all like, ‘I’m going to go all ghosty,’ which is funny because you are a ghost so I guess you were just acting natural but definitely not normal, unless this is the new normal, but Twilight says it isn’t, so I’ve completely lost my train of thought!” She smiled.
“Um… I just felt… compelled? Like something was telling me to go that way,” Fluttershy explained, looking down at the transparent shades of her hooves.
Rainbow glanced over her shoulder and called, “Any ideas, Twi?”
She put a hoof to her chin as she thought aloud, “If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the embodiment of death calling to put our souls to rest for eternity.”
“What?!”
“If any of you see the skeleton of an alicorn with black robes and a scythe, assuming the depictions of it are true, try to stay away. I can’t resurrect you if your soul is in the afterlife.”
Once again, silent took its rule as everyone stared at her.
“Anyways,” Twilight said, “Go haunt Ponyville or something until I find a way to fix this mess. We should travel in at least pairs of two, though, in case what happened to Fluttershy happens to one of us.”
“Sounds great, Twi!” Pinkie said, being the only one to share the feelings, “Hey, Dashie, want to see what kind of pranks we can pull like this while we wait?”
Rainbow brightened up at the suggestion. “Hay yeah! Might as well see what being a ghost is like while we’re like this. Twi, can we fly without flapping our wings and go through walls and stuff like in ghost stories?” Twilight just shrugged. Rainbow smirked then set her wings into resting positions at her sides. Steeling her concentration, she jumped up and, resisting the urge to unfurl her wings, found herself floating in midair. “Awesome!” she called as she proceeded to do flips in the air. “Pinkie, try the other thing. See if you can go through walls.”
Pinkie mock-saluted then grinned. In a mere moment she began sinking into the floor. Soon, only her head was visible. “Look! I’m just a head! Where’s the headless horse-pony when you need him?”
Twilight chuckled then addressed the others, “Well, it seems that they’re going to go abuse their newfound powers. How about the rest of you? I’m staying here to do research.”
“I’ll stay with you, if you don’t mind,” Fluttershy answered, “Not that I don’t want to be with you two, Applejack, Rarity, but I’d rather stay with Twilight…”
“Don’ you fret none, it’s all fine. Looks like you’re with me, Rares.”
“Indeed.”
“Great,” Twilight stated, “Now that that’s been taken care of, why don’t we all meet back here in an hour —”
“Twilight?!” a voice echoed down the halls. All eyes turned and were met with the sight of one purple dragon walking the path. He stopped at seeing the burnt mess of a room in all its blazed glory. His eyes dropped into a half-lidded deadpan as he said, “Might as well clean this up. Twilight would tell me anyways when she gets back from Whereverland.” He turned tail and walked back down the hall in search of broom.
“Can he not see us?” Rarity asked.
“I guess not…” Twilight said,” But what did he mean about me telling him to clean this up? I don’t do that often, do I?”
Everything except the lavender mare suddenly became much more interesting to the others.
“No, really? Applejack, am I like that?”
“What? Why me?”
“Because I know I can always count on you for an honest answer,” she said, a solid smile plastering her face.
“Oh, uh… Well, Twi, ya see… Ah…”
“Yeah ‘Honest Applejack,’ what’s the verdict?” Rainbow unhelpfully added, smirking devilishly as she floated by.
“Quiet, Rainbow! …Now, Twi, Ah think —”
“Here we are,” Spike interrupted, making his reappearance. Humming a nondescript tune, he started sweeping the floor’s dirt and grime and charred pony ashes into a pile.
“Hey, you be careful with my remains!” Rainbow called as she landed down next to him, glaring.
“I don’t think he can hear you either, dear,” Rarity said, cringing as she watched.
“I bet you can get his attention,” Rainbow piped in, turning to Twilight, “Call his name as if you needed something done.”
“What?”
“Just do it,” she insisted, grinning a grin.
Twilight looked at her suspiciously but relented with a shrug. She took in a breath before yelling, “SPIKE!”
The baby dragon instantly shuddered as if a chill wind had blown through. “That was weird…” he said, shifting his eyes about nervously.
“Ha! Ha!” Rainbow triumphantly laughed, drawing a few chuckles out of a few others, the exception being one confused alicorn. “Alright, enough of Spike and his apron. Pinkie, want to head out?”
“Sure do! See you all later!”
“Bye,” they all called back. Rainbow bolted towards the wall and phased through it, followed by an eager Pinkie.
“Ten bits says she forgets she can’t do that and hits the wall when she’s back to bein’ alive,” Applejack commented, “Wanna head out too, Rares? There’s bound ta be somethin’ around town for a spirit ta do.”
The unicorn nodded. “Not like I’ll be able to get any work done anyways. I don’t think I have any colors that would match transparency.”
“Alright. See ya soon, Twi.”
“Bye girls,” she called back as they left with their returned farewells.
Twilight turned to Fluttershy. “Well, it’s just you, me, Spike, and hours of science ahead of us,” she said, eyes lighting up at the idea.
“Yay.”
“…”
“Haha!”
“…”
“Heh, ha!”
"…”
“Ha! …Pinkie, come try this!”
The pink-coated mare touched down next to her friend, bringing her eager watch to the crowd of ponies that unknowingly surrounded the specter of Rainbow. “What is it, Dashie?”
“Watch this!” she commanded, not taking her gaze off the passing townsfolk.
Her eyes weaved through the mass of color until settling on a suitable victim. Rushing forward to meet the aquamarine target that she selected, she landed in front of her path. Setting down one hoof and leaning forward, Rainbow bounded forward, phasing through and planting her four hooves down on the other side of the pony. Instantly, the mare shivered, stopping to draw a hoof closer to her as she recoiled with chattering teeth. “Must be the wind,” she muttered.
Rainbow fell into a giggling fit, a hoof held to her mouth in a vain attempt at self-control. Pinkie, however, was oddly silent.
Narrowing her eyes, she looked all through the passing crowd with a white demeanor. Just as suddenly, she burst into a wide grin. “That gives me an idea!”
“Yeah?” Rainbow replied, her laughing having died down, “What’s that?”
“If we’re ghosts…”
“Yeah?”
“Does that mean…”
“Uh-huh?”
“We…”
“What is it?” Rainbow called eagerly.
“I was getting to that. If we’re ghosts, then does that mean we can possess things like in the stories?”
Rainbow blinked once. Then she looked around at the passing crowd. Finally, she grinned a maliciously mischievous face. “I—”
“Oh, one second,” Pinkie interrupted. She perked her ear out as if listening, then, yelling out to the distance, said, “Good one, Rarity! …Okay, I’m good.”
Rainbow’s eyes furrowed in confusion for a moment, but she shrugged it off. Just Pinkie being Pinkie.
Returning to her prankster thoughts, her mind rushed through all the possibilities that now lay at her undead, mischievous hooves.
Davenport looked helplessly at his store’s ceiling, his mouth hanging agape as he tried to comprehend how the unassuming pegasus in front of him managed to get a sofa stuck to the ceiling.
“I say this a lot,” the gray pegasus said, “But now I really mean it. I just don’t know what went wrong.”
Davenport could only nod.
Meanwhile, Rainbow was busying cackling as she lay on the roof-bound couch. “This is great!” she managed in between breaths, “Oh, this couldn’t be better!”
“You should try being a couch!” the sofa called in a high, energetic voice, “It’s so soft!”
“Ha ha!” Rainbow ducked her head over the armrest, taking a look at the two ponies below them. “Wait, I know how this can get better! Pinkie, if we can take over objects, could we take over ponies too?”
“Ooh, I like how you’re thinking. Try it!”
Rainbow nodded with a mane-shaking nod, diving down next to the pegasus. “How exactly did you do this, Pinkie?”
“Will yourself into something,” the sofa answered, “It’ll feel all woozy at first, it’s really neat! Like, super-neat. And I don’t say that about everything.”
Rainbow set her sights on the pegasus. Ditzy, she remembered her name to be. Well, Ditzy, Rainbow thought, let’s see how much you live up to that name. Reaching out with her hoof, she made “contact,” which also had the effect of sending a small chill through the pegasus. She focused her concentration, following Pinkie’s advice. The effect was instantaneous.
The chromatic mare felt herself being pulled into the other. Although not unpleasant, her friend’s vague description of “woozy” certainly was fitting. She likened it to gliding with along with a strong gust of wind if not for the fact that she was far from flying. Within a moment, Rainbow lost her sense of herself, instead being forced into an unfamiliar form. She blinked, a set of eyelids that weren’t her own following the action. “Did it work?” she said, the thoughts in her head not matching the voice that she heard. That was weird.
“Did what work?” answered not Pinkie, but the stallion present.
Rainbow turned to face him, once again feeling the oddness of the body’s following movements. “Uh…”
“Psst… Rainbow, it worked.”
Rainbow looked up at the sofa, realization dawning on her. “It did? I’m Ditzy?”
“You bet! Bubbles and all!”
Rainbow blinked again, trying to focus her vision. For some reason everything was sort of blurry, like double-vision. Wait, she thought, This must be how Ditzy always sees things. “How can she see like this?” she asked aloud.
“Um,” Davenport said, looking at her with confused scrutiny, “Are you talking to me?”
“Huh?” Rainbow said in Ditzy’s voice, looking back at him.
“You were talking aloud there.”
“Oh. No, I wasn’t talking to you.”
That didn’t help. “Um… then who were you talking to?”
Rainbow looked up at the sofa then back down to the helpless stallion. “The sofa.”
That didn’t help at all. “Uh… okay then… I’m going to see if I can get it down now, if you don’t mind. I have a ladder…” He turned toward his office.
“Oh, wait! Allow me.” Rainbow looked up with her off-set eyes, throwing a wink up to her couch-friend. As if their minds were in tune, Pinkie got the hint. In a moment, the furniture made a steady descent back to the ground. Once it returned to being fully planted on the ground once more, Rainbow turned back to the now wide-eyed shock of the store owner.
“How…?” he muttered.
“Oh, it was nothing special,” she faked modesty.
Davenport closed his hanging mouth, shooting a serious look her way. “No, really how did you do that?”
“Mm…” she mmed, then smirked. “Magic.”
“Magic?” he cried, “But pegasi can’t do magic like that?!”
“Eh, that’s just a rumor,” she bluffed, “Here watch this.” She spoke up, enunciating clearly, “I’ll make that quill jar over there levitate over here.”
Sure enough, it floated up on a whim, crossing the air until landing down next to the “magical” pegasus.
“Magic!” Rainbow triumphantly declared, raising a hoof into the air.
Davenport stared at her for a long second. Then he said, “I need a moment. Please don’t stick anything else to the ceiling.” He left into his office, shaking his head.
Rainbow lasted one moment before bursting out laughing. “We got him good!” she cackled.
Pinkie responded with her own fit of uproarious giggling.
“Whew,” Rainbow commented once she got ahold of herself once again, “How are we supposed to—”
The front door flew open, a foggy mess of smoke billowing into the premises. The two stared in surprise, the form of Pinkie rematerializing next to Rainbow. “Ooh… ominous,” she said, aside.
From the smoke emerged the figure of a tall figure completely draped in black, flowing cloth. From under its hood emerged the skeletal, soulless face of a pony, its empty sockets watching the ground at its bony hooves.
The two parties stared at each other before the newcomer suddenly spoke, its voice raspy and rough. “I’ve waited too long for you two.”
“Yeah?” Rainbow challenged, “And just who are you?”
The skeletal pony looked up suddenly, somehow looking confused despite the lack of facial features. “Wait, what is this? You two are the souls I’ve been sent to retrieve?”
The mares looked at each other. “Uh, probably?” Rainbow answered, “Don’t you know? You just said you’ve been waiting for us.”
The figure cocked its head. “I just say that whenever I’m collecting a spirit that’s evaded death too many times. It creates a dramatic effect.”
“Right… So who are you, again?”
“Don’t you recognize me?” it said, almost sounding hurt.
“Pinkie?” Rainbow prompted to her friend.
“Mm… Nope! Can’t say I do. I definitely would’ve remembered a skeleton. You would be a blast on Nightmare Night.”
“Skeleton…” it said confusedly. Suddenly, it perked up, saying, “Oh, I always forget I’m in this form when I collect souls. One moment please…” A royal blue glow rose up around the figure, encasing it entirely. The ghostly duo watched the display in intrigue as the orb of light steadily died down, leaving behind the same dark cloak but with something else underneath.
Someone else, to be exact.
“Princess Luna?!” the two cried out together.
Sure enough, the blue-coated face of their Ruler of the Night looked out upon them from under her hood, an awkward smile upon her lips. “I believe my sister would say, ‘Surprise.’”
Rainbow broke her befuddled staring long enough to ask, “You’re the reaper?!”
“Yes,” she supplied simply.
“But… since when?”
“Ever since I defeated the previous embodiment of death in a duel.”
“What?!”
“My sister and I aren’t immortal for no reason,” she said, her smile recalling pleasant memories.
Rainbow stared, her jaw agape.
Pinkie, however, was less stunned. “Oh, wow!” she exclaimed, “That must have been amazing! What happened? What happened?”
“Indeed it was,” Luna chuckled, “We challenged him to a duel in limbo for the right to eternal life. His undoing was his own self-confidence.”
“Limbo?” Rainbow asked, “Like sort of dead but not really?”
“Nay. It was a literal game of limbo. Being the tallest one there, he was sure to lose.”
“Cooooool,” Pinkie drew out, “How did you become the reaper, then? Was that part of the wager?”
Luna nodded, putting on a warm smile. “Now then,” she said, “Are you two ready to go to the afterlife?”
“Afterlife?” Rainbow answered with a question.
“That’s right. Now that you’ve died, that’s where you’ll spend the rest of eternity.”
“Uh… No can do. We’re coming back to life later.”
Luna frowned. “I am sorry to disappoint you, but that can’t be done. Death is permanent.”
“Nuh-uh,” Pinkie piped in, “Twilight’s preparing a necromancy spell.”
The Princess visibly recoiled at the thought. “Necromancy,” she bitterly spat to herself, “Foul, unnatural magic. Of course Celly would teach it to her student just to mess with me…”
“She says she can bring us all back soon,” Pinkie added.
“I’ll—Wait, did you say ‘all?’ As in, more of you?”
“You bet!” she answered, “Us two and Twilight and Rarity and Fluttershy and Applejack are ghosts too!”
Luna stared at her blankly. “How did the six most important ponies in Equestria all die at once?”
“Twilight messed up some super-powerful spell.”
“…Of course Celly would teach her student battle magic…” She shook her head. “I am sorry, but I cannot allow you two to defile the natural order by returning to the living. You two will have to come with me.”
“Not happening, Princess,” Rainbow retorted, “With all due respect, we’re coming back to life. We had our whole lives ahead of us.”
“Allow me to rephrase,” Luna said, dropping her tone, “You two will have to come with me whether you like it or not.”
The two mares looked at each other. With a mutual nod, the turned back to the reaper, confident smiles adorning their faces.
“You’ll have to catch us first,” Pinkie sing-songed.
“And I’m the fastest thing alive—er, formerly alive,” Rainbow taunted.
Luna looked between them solidly for a moment. Then she dropped her head. “Fine,” she sighed, then, suddenly looking back up with a grin, said, “We will do this the fun way!” A flash of blue light came from her side, subsiding to reveal a long, curved scythe floating in her magic.
The two parties began circling each other, Luna using her magic to carefully remove the blocking furniture between them. Each side looked at the other with expressions of confidence in a fearless demeanor. Rainbow shot cocky smirks towards the Night Princess; Pinkie smiled widely. Luna flicked her blade around menacingly. They both stopped suddenly, a mutual, unspoken agreement being—
“Wait,” Rainbow interjected, “Can I get out of this body first? Ditzy’s not supposed to be here.”
Luna sighed. “Make it quick.”
One stuffing of a delirious pegasus into a supply closet later found the heated, silent exchange back in full force. Once again, the two sides stared each other down until one of them broke the ice.
“Bring it,” Rainbow jeered.
“Well, any ideas on what ta do, Rares?”
The literally ghostly-white unicorn turned to regard her friend, keeping up her floating pace down the street. It was a warm, sunny day, not that it really could make a difference to their shady forms, but was pleasant nonetheless. Taking a glance at the lively townsfolk that they so contrasted around them, Rarity said, “It is a rather splendid day out today. The Princess really outdid herself, if I may so. It would be a shame to just let it go to waste.” She put a hoof to her chin and narrowed her eyes in thought, “I’m not too sure what to do. I don’t usually get days off like this.”
“Same here. Last time Ah got a break Ah just went and slept the day away.”
Rarity went silent for a moment as she went back to her thoughts. Then she suddenly sang, raising a hoof into the air triumphantly, “Idea! Why don’t we go see our sisters? They should still be in school at this time or at least be almost done.”
“Sounds like as good an idea as any,” Applejack agreed.
A brief trip later and an “Ah can fly!” found them at the entrance to the small schoolhouse. They entered and were immediately greeted with the punctuated lecture of Miss Cheerilee. She seemed to be going on about a typical history lesson as the class pretended and failed at pretending to pay attention.
“There’s Sweetie and her friends,” Rarity said as she pointed out a triplet of ponies, “Applebloom and Scooterloo are next to her over there.” To her credit, Sweetie looked to be trying to be attentive.
“You mean Scootaloo,” Applejack corrected.
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”
“Nope, you said it with an ‘er’ sound.”
Rarity looked at her companion, narrowing her eyes, “That is her name, though.”
Applejack simply shook her head. “Nope. It’s Scootaloo.”
“Mm… I assume you first heard about her from your sister, correct?”
“Yeah, but what’s that got ta do with anythin’?
“Well, darling…” the unicorn started, “I’m just saying you may have misunderstood when she told you about her friend. Your family does have their… dialect, after all.”
The farmer glared at her. “What are ya’ll sayin’? We speak just as fine as everypony else.”
“Dear,” Rarity said, thoroughly amused, “The Apple family accent is famous from here Manehattan.”
“Accent? We don’t got no accent!” she defended, narrowing her gaze.
Rarity just looked away. Sometimes there would be no reasoning with this mare, so she let it drop. “If you say so. Oh, look,” she deflected, “I think they’re being released now.”
Sure enough, the dismissal had come and gone during their “talk,” and all the students were making a mad rush to the door, unknowingly racing through the two spirits, sending sudden chills to those who did. Following the mad mob of foals, the two mares soon located their sisters under a low, shady tree.
“We should go skydiving!” they heard Scootaloo/Scooterloo exclaim as they approached.
The two shared a concerned glance. “Skydiving?” Rarity repeated, “Don’t tell me she’s talking about getting her cutie mark.” Applejack shrugged helplessly before going back to their sisters’ and friend’s conversation.
“I don’t know, Scootaloo—” Sweetie rebutted.
“Told ya.”
“Quiet.”
“How would we even get to a high enough point to do that?” Sweetie continued.
“That’s her concern?!” Rarity exclaimed, putting a hoof to her forehead dramatically, “Not the danger?”
Applejack calmly reached for Rarity’s hoof and brought it back down. “Now, don’t go faintin’ on me.”
“I was far from fainting, thank you Applejack,” she replied, standing indignantly glaring.
Applebloom spoke up: “Besides, we already went bungee jumping over the gorge.”
“Ah!” Rarity cried out before toppling over and proceeding to slowly sink into the grass as her intangible form fell through.
Applejack looked down, her unamused eyes half-lidded. “Rarity, pick yourself up or so help me, Ah’ll dye your hair green. Ah’m not carryin’ ya around town.”
The unicorn’s eyes shot open, instantly darting to the disinterested gaze of the farmer. Pulling herself up, she said, “Surely you’re not okay with this? To think they’ve already gone off on this dangerous adventures!”
“Believe me, Applebloom will be getting her’s soon enough. But there’s not much we can do now, is there?”
“I suppose so…” Rarity admitted, casting an unsure gaze back her sister.
Scootaloo gasped as an idea rang out to her. “We can just get Rainbow Dash to do it! She helped us with the bungee jumping, after all.”
“Rainbow?” the mares both exclaimed.
Applejack stamped her hoof. “Twi better bring us back ta life so Ah can kill that mare!”
“I wouldn’t use so harsh a description,” Rarity said, then agreed, “But you can have her once I’m done.”
“Deal.”
As the trio of fillies ran off terrifying ideas, oblivious to the growing suspense of their sisters, Rarity looked up and around helplessly. She could hardly bear the thought of her dear sister in such horrid stunts! Then she noticed one familiar, red stallion. “Applejack?” she said, “Why ever is your brother here?”
“Huh?” Applejack looked at her friend then followed her gaze. Sure enough, the large form that made up Big Macintosh was nearing the entrance to the school house. He looked around for one moment before entering. “Ah don’t rightly know,” she said, dropping into a curious frown.
“Maybe it’s about Applebloom?” Rarity suggested.
“Ah hope not. She’s never had a problem in school.” The farmer set off back towards the schoolhouse, leaving the designer to catch up after hesitating for one more moment of ear-bound agony from three innocent fillies.
Phasing through the wall, Rarity found Applejack watching intently as the stallion greeted the teacher. “Good afternoon, Miss Cheerilee,” he said, a gentle smile across his face.
Cheerilee looked up in surprise. “Oh, hey Mac. I didn’t notice you come in. Busy with all this.” She swept her hoof across the air above her desk. “And I told you, stop calling me ‘Miss.’ You sound like one of my students.”
“Sorry, can’t help it,” he drawled, “Was how Ah was brought up. Always be polite to a lady.” Cheerilee just giggled, rolling her eyes.
“What’s goin’ on here?” Applejack asked, her eyes narrowed. She looked to Rarity, who looked halfway between shocked and ecstatic. “Rares?”
The unicorn smiled back dreamily, her gaze miles away. “Applejack, I think it would be best if we left. Give them some time, if you will.”
“What? Why?” she asked, turning back to her brother’s conversation. Whether she missed some crucial part of the conversation when talking to Rarity or just failing to pick up on something, she was utter astounded a moment later when her brother leaned in and gave the teacher a quick peck on the cheek.
Applejack recoiled instantly, a hoof raised slightly up as if ready to bolt. She blinked. “…What? …Why?”
She suddenly found herself being pulled away with the words, “That, Applejack, is precisely why. Come along.”
“But, but…” She yanked herself free of her friend’s grip. “Now, wait a darned minute! Since when did this happen?!” She gestured with a flailing limb to the couple who were much too close to each other for her taste.
“Darling, please, inside voice. You’ll wake the dead if you keep shouting like that.”
“We’re already awake!”
“Applejack, let’s—” She paused.
“What is it?” Applejack asked.
Rarity shook her head. “I could’ve sworn I just heard Pinkie complimenting me on a joke… Anyways, let’s step outside before we go any further, alright?”
The earth pony glared at her brother once more. “Hmph. Fine. But only ‘cause Ah don’t wanna see any more romance-y stuff.”
Rarity gave her a small smile before turning tale with a flip of her hair and proceeding to exit once more. Applejack grumbled, giving one last suspicious glance. “That’s two siblings that need ta have a nice, long talk with me.” The famer begrudgingly followed her friend away. Once outside, she turned to the designer. “Now would you mind tellin’ me what exactly Ah just saw?”
Rarity rolled her eyes in a rather un-ladylike manner. “That, Applejack, is the sight of two ponies in love.”
Applejack stared at her, dumbfounded, “Well, Ah know that but—”
“Incoming!”
Both mares looked up with startled expressions as a rainbow rocket hurdled down in a blur. They both jumped back instinctively as the missile shot to the ground. They cringed as their friend’s impact with the ground seemed imminent but widened their eyes as Rainbow simply flew into the ground, resurfacing from the waist up a moment later.
Rainbow blinked as she looked around, seeing her friends. “Oh, hey.”
“Uh… Rainbow? What are ya’ll doin’?” Applejack asked.
Rainbow pounced up from her spot, landing on all fours. She darted her head about, her rainbow locks flowing with the messy movements. Seemingly satisfied, she stared back at her inquisitive friend. “Princess Luna’s trying to get me and Pinkie. We’ve been going through town playing cat and mouse.”
“Princess Luna? Why is she tryin’ to get ya? Heck, how can she even see ya’ll?”
“Oh, cause she’s the reaper. She wants to put our souls to rest.”
“What? Since when?”
“Ever since she won a game of limbo with the old reaper.”
“What?”
“Yeah, she says it was an actual game of limbo. Like, when you go under a stick or something.”
Applejack stared incredulously, her mouth moving silently as words failed to describe the confusion running rampant. Rarity, however, spoke for her. “I’m just going to not question that and ask you instead: Where are Pinkie and the Princess now, then?”
Rainbow glanced her eyes around again. “Eh, somewhere around here. I kind of got knocked away. Lucky shot…” she muttered.
“Well, dear—”
The bushes erupted in a burst of green foliage and leaves. Turning to the sudden onslaught of noise, the mares beheld the sight of one pink pony scampering out of the way, light on her giddy hooves, followed by one pastry-covered princess.
“You can’t do this forever!” Luna yelled, “You will be put to—” She was cut off as a cupcake landed atop her head. “Where do you keep— …Mm, chocolate… Where do you keep getting all these? It is like you’ve stashed them all around the town!”
“I have!” Pinkie called back, looking over her shoulder.
Luna opened her mouth to answer then promptly closed it. “It will take ages to get the frosting stains out of my cloak…”
Pinkie came to a stop by her friends. “Oh, hey girls! Wanna join the party?”
“Well… ya’ll weren’t joking about Princess Luna,” Applejack commented.
“Yeah,” Rainbow said, “And you might want to take up Pinkie’s offer, fast. She’s out for all six of us.”
“Rainbow,” Rarity chided, “I’m sure there’s no need to put on these barbarities. If we talk to her I’m sure she’ll understand it was a simple misunderstanding.”
The pegasus rolled her eyes. “Good luck with that.” She floated upwards, taking Pinkie’s side. “Hey, moonbutt! How about we call a cease-fire?”
“Rainbow!” Rarity gasped, “You can’t talk to the Princess that way!”
“Hey, she’s the one swinging a scythe at us,” she shrugged.
Luna glared at her. “Never before has a soul escaped my reach. And that will not change today!”
Rainbow glanced at her friend. “Told ya.”
Rarity frowned. “Allow me to talk to her. Insulting the other party is a terrible idea in negotiation.” Stepping forward after Rainbow’s noncommittal agreement, she met the lunar Reaper’s eye. “Princess? May I ask what exactly is going on here?”
Luna regarded her, straightening her posture. She nodded. “Yes. I am bringing Rainbow’s and Pinkie’s souls to the afterlife. I suppose yours and Applejack’s as well, now that you’re here.”
“Now, now. Is that really necessary? Surely we can come back to life since this was all just a big accident.”
Luna shook her head. “In my years in this position, I’ve seen every excuse and reason there is. Death is death, no matter the cause.”
Rarity cocked her head, her eyes narrowing in disappointment. “But, surely there’s something. We’re the former elements of harmony after all.”
Luna shrugged. “Unlike my sister, I don’t play favorites. You’re all coming to the afterlife.”
Rarity frowned.
“Don’t be like that,” the Reaper said, “The afterlife is a very nice place. It’s like a pleasant dream that you never get tired of, I should know.”
“Really?” Rarity asked, more curious than willing.
“Yes. Just as long as none of you have committed great sins such as murder. Then you would go to the torture of Tartarus. But that shouldn’t be a problem, right?”
Rarity looked back at her friends. They shrugged back at her. “Um… does Nightmare Moon count?” she asked.
“Or the changelings smashed by the shield in Canterlot?” Rainbow added.
“Or Sombra back in the Crystal Empire?” Applejack piped in.
“Or us when Twilight’s spell went wrong earlier?” Pinkie threw in.
Luna looked at all of them in turn. She blinked. “…Alright… Enough discussion. Rarity, you first.” Suddenly raising her scythe, she swished it through the air, sending it straight for the unicorn standing in front of her. Rarity let out an “Eep!” as she instinctively ducked, the steeled blade nearly missing her entirely.
Nearly.
Everyone gasped. Even Luna took a subconscious step backwards in shock. Rarity, who had collapsed to the ground in her mad dive to the ground, opened her eyes at the odd silence. “…Girls…?” she asked, her voice weak, “What’s the matter? Did something happen? I feel alright…”
A deafening silence answered.
Rarity raised a hoof to pat the top of her head, freezing instantly at what she felt. Or what she didn’t, to be exact. Eyes dilating to pinpricks, she looked down at her hooves, instantly seeing the remains.
The remains of her luscious, elegant mane littering the ground.
“…I need a mirror,” she demanded to no one in particular, her tone unnaturally stern. Still in shock, Luna teleported one in for her. Rarity transferred it to her own magical grasp, hesitantly awaiting the horror that faced her. And horror it was, indeed. To put it simply, there was nothing. To put it more detailed, her head was a forest of purple trees in ruinous, mismatched patterns of disgust. Rarity went silent.
“…Rares?” Applejack called out, her own voice faltering.
Rainbow slowly took a step forward. “You okay, there?”
Rarity didn’t answer, only continuing her paralyzed stare.
Luna took the opportunity to speak up. “Rarity?” she said worriedly, “I assure you I did not mean for this to happen. I am truly sorry—”
“No.”
Luna’s eyes widened.
“You’re not sorry,” Rarity said, slowing looking up from the mirror. Her eyes burned with the rage of thousand suns. Luna held back a gasp, taking a step back. Rarity glared pure hatred at her.
“Not yet.”
The Reaper of souls gulped.
Twilight smirked as she felt the familiar rush of magical energy flow into her horn. Effortlessly bending the raw energy to her will with the skill only a master could possess, she directed the tamed the stream to her goal. Forcing the simple technique of telekinesis from her expansive repertoire and outwards to the target that lay so helplessly in front of her.
It didn’t react.
Frowning and bestowing a narrowed gaze to the object that dares to resist, she lowered her head to meet its defiant gaze with her horn that drizzled with the brilliant raspberry hues of magical aura. Stamping her favored hoof once, she struck back at the barrier with doubles of the amounts of forceful energies. To others, it would have been a struggling matter. To her, it was mere simplicity. She watched with her glaring gaze as the previously impenetrable wall became surrounded in her brand of magic. Then, with a slight and nearly unnoticeable shake, its movement increased in a steady, exponential rise as its resistance crumbled away under the might of the Princess of Friendship. In mere moments, the broken target was floating in the air.
Twilight smiled cheerfully as she floated the book to her eager reach.
“Alright, Fluttershy,” she said, “This should be the last thing I need to complete the spell to bring our spirits back to life.”
Fluttershy looked up from her awkward watching. As much as she’d like to help, Twilight was quite capable, and more than willing, to take care of everything to help. Much of Fluttershy’s “help” had simply been finding the spot of a book on a shelf. Of course, her careful nature had led her to seek out other ways of assisting her bookish friend but to no avail. Was this how Spike felt? Fluttershy couldn’t help but wonder.
Fixing herself into a standing position, she made a brief walk to her friend. Seeing only a jumble of scientific words of the cover of the book, she asked, “What will that do?”
“This is the part of the spell that will recreate our physical bodies. Our current ones aren’t… suitable anymore, to say the least.”
Fluttershy nodded, wincing at some fiery memories. She cocked her head in thought for a moment before asking another question. “What would happen if you brought us back without bodies to go to? Would we be alive but like this at the same time?”
Twilight put on her “thinking” face as a hoof came to her chin. “That’s a good question…” she drawled, “If I had to take a guess, I’d say we’d be stuck in some kind of limbo of our own consciousness. For how long? That’s anypony’s guess.”
“Oh, my…”
“I know,” Twilight agreed, “All the more reason to get this done.”
Fluttershy nodded again, content to letting Twilight use her non-magical prowess in intellect handle the delicacies. She backed away, mane-covered eyes hitting the floor out of habit.
“Spi—” Twilight started before cutting herself off with a shake of the head. “Heh. I’m calling him out of habit…” she amended. She frowned for a moment but it faded just as quick. “Hey, where is he anyways? I haven’t seen him since he was dusting us up.”
“Um… I think he went to throw the ashes… away… a while ago…”
Twilight sighed helplessly. “I’ll have to fix that later. Hopefully they’re just in a trash bag or something.”
Fluttershy didn't like the idea of them being carelessly dropped in the trash, but she continued. “I last saw him a little bit ago. He came in then went right back out after seeing floating books. I think he’s looking for you.”
"It's going to be hard explaining this one to him. I won't hear the end of it for months. Could you go look for him, please?" Fluttershy nodded, exiting the room.
The mare tried to get back to her studies, but it didn't last long. "Twilight?!" a voice suddenly shrieked, their tone in desperation, "Twilight?!"
The one being called so frantically shot her gaze toward the sound hurriedly. She recognized that voice. She took a careful step forwards, but it was unneeded; it came to her.
Phasing through the wall like a few ghostly companions she knew came the panicked form of Luna scrambling wildly on slippery hooves. Around her billowed a dark, tattered cloak matted with green, unsavory splotches. "Twilight!" she cried, "You have to help me!"
Twilight recoiled in shock at the sight of her princess reduced to such a quivering mess, but what caught her eye was her entrance. Her rather ghostly entrance. "Princess!" she gasped, "Did you die? Are you a ghost like us?"
Luna recovered herself enough to meet the fellow alicorn's eye. "No," she spat out worriedly, as if in a hurry, "I just have those abilities because I'm the Reaper of Death. But that isn't impor—"
"You're the Reaper?!" Twilight said, a shocked face appearing.
"Yes, I am. But I need—"
"Could you not reap my soul, please? I know this goes against the natural order, but I was just about to—"
"Twilight!" Luna yelled, "Listen to me, please! Your soul is the last thing I care about right now! I need your help."
Twilight blinked. "Uh... sure? What's going on?"
Luna merely threw back her hood. Twilight gasped as she saw the sight in front of her. What was once a royal, flowing, and starry night sky had been replaced by a plane of green, sturdy lines cut into a shapeless, edgy mass. It was very unbecoming for a Princess.
"Princess!" Twilight exclaimed, "Your mane!"
"I know." She ceded grimly, "It's horrible! It's dreadful! It's... green!"
"You sound like Rarity, no offense."
Luna's eyes widened. "Don't speak the demon's name! She is the one who has committed this act of atrocity."
The lavender mare looked at the other quizzically. "She did this? Why would she ever do this? She would call it a crime against fabulousity."
"I cut her mane off."
Twilight's eyes widened. "You did what?!"
"It was an accident, I swear!"
"Accident?!" Twilight repeated, "That doesn't matter! Do you realize what you've done? Remember the royal hair stylist, Lucky Stars?"
"No."
"Exactly!" She placed a hoof to her head, thinking quickly, "Okay, where is she now?"
Luna answered, "I don't know. I barely slipped away when she was..." She shuddered. "...getting out hair gel."
Twilight nodded. "Okay. I imagine Rarity will be checking all the places she'd expect you to go, first."
"Where do you think that is?"
"Mm... Probably somewhere you consider safe. Maybe where there's someone who could help you."
"Like here?" she squeaked.
"Yeah, here would be the most predictable place," she agreed, "...Oh... Well, she's not here yet, right? We still have time—"
"Right this way, Rarity," Fluttershy said, reentering, leading her sun hat-wearing friend into the room, "If I can ask, though, where are the others? We were supposed to stay in groups."
"Oh, they're a bit... tied up at the moment. I went ahead. Now, is Twilight here?" she asked.
Luna shared one look with her fellow alicorn. She discreetly pushed Twilight in front of her with a loud scoot across the floor.
Rarity looked up at the sound, her eyes narrowing at seeing her prey. She stepped past Fluttershy. "Hello Twilight, ...Princess," she said through gritted teeth.
The pure wrath in those eyes put a shiver through Twilight, but she stepped forward to meet her warpath-bound friend. "Now, Rarity, I need you to listen to me."
"Twilight?" she answered, "Don't get involved. This is between us."
"Rarity, there is no need to do this. Think about what you're doing. You would normally be horrified at what the Princess's mane has turned into."
The designer gave a dry, cynical laugh. "Oh, I've thought about this quite enough. In fact, I've thought about what I'm going to do to her. I was originally going to give her tail the same treatment, but I realized that would be cruel."
"Really?"
"Not cruel enough. So I'm going to dye her coat green as well."
Luna whimpered.
Twilight shook her head. "I can't allow you to do that. You just need to calm down and have a nice, pleasant talk."
"I already tried that. Then she tried to cut my head off!"
Twilight glanced back at Luna. She smiled guiltily. "Ugh... Okay, let's start over. Princess? Come here."
"I don't want to."
Rarity gave an unladylike "hmph."
"Just come here, please." Luna reluctantly did so, eyeing the white-coated mare. "Okay," Twilight said, "I want both of you to apologize."
"Apologize?" Rarity cried out, "I'm the victim here."
"I think you passed that line a long time ago. Do you really think turning her green is justified?"
"Yes."
Twilight facehoofed. "Just apologize, both of you. This was all just a big accident."
Rarity glared a moment longer. "Fine," she said, "But under one condition."
"What's that?" Luna asked hesitantly.
Rarity looked at her, a strong gleam in her eyes. "You let us come back to life."
"What?" Luna cried, "I can't do that! It's against the natural order!"
"It's the natural order or your mane. Take your pick."
Luna bit her lip before looking down. "...Fine. You all can live once again... But next time, you're all coming with me!" Rarity only shrugged. Luna shot another glare her way before spreading her wings and flying away, going through the ceiling.
The two watched for a moment before Twilight observed, "Neither of you apologized."
"It was implied," she dismissed.
Twilight looked unimpressed but let it slide. "So... She's really the Reaper?"
Rarity nodded.
"Since when?"
"Something about beating the previous one in limbo."
"The game where you go under a pole?"
"No, the game where you go under a pole."
"...What?"
"Oh, my bad. I just... never mind. Let's go round up the rest of friends, now."
"Alright. Ready, Fluttershy?"
Their silent friend looked up with wide, horrified eyes, still recovering from the scene. "Um... yes?" she said, her voice a sliver.
"Great, let's go. By the end of today, we'll be back to our old, living selves." As the two left the burn-streaked halls, followed by one stunned pegasus, Twilight added, "You know, threatening a Princess isn't very smart."
"It'll be fine," Rarity responded, "Besides, she didn't stand a ghost of a chance."
The doors suddenly swung open to reveal one pink mare standing in their place, a frown plastered upon her face. "Rarity," Pinkie said, "You've been making jokes all day... But that was horrible."
Rarity blinked.
"Well, girls, are you all ready to come back to life?"
A chorus of agreement met the alicorn, coming from the band of friends, reunited. It had taken a fair bit of time left to Rarity to explain exactly what happened, but it was just the amount needed for Twilight to complete her hopefully non-explosive spell.
"Alright, everyone, gather around. The spell should bring our souls back to life while simultaneously creating new bodies to inhabit. The timing will be essential between the two factors so I'll need utmost concentration. That means I can't have any of you—"
"Being loud, obnoxious, distracting, or flying through windows," Rainbow finished.
Twilight shot an unamused glare her way. "Now then, I'll start the spell in a... Wait, where's Pinkie?" She looked around the others for the missing sixth of the group, her friends following similar actions.
"Ah think she said somethin' about takin' care of business," Applejack tried.
"She went to the bathroom?" Rainbow asked.
Applejack shrugged, but Twilight answered, "I doubt that's the case. We can't do any bodily functions like that as a spirit. In fact, we don't even have to breathe. We've just been doing it out of habit."
The sound of breathing suddenly died down.
"Here I am!" an energetic voice suddenly exclaimed, startling one timid pegasus. Pinkie hopped on her hooves to her spot in the ring of friends. She looked at all the inquisitive stares she was getting. "What?"
"Where'd you go?" Rainbow asked.
"Oh, I was just... playing a game." She giggled deviously to herself, drawing a suspicious glance from her chromatic friend.
"What kind of game?" she asked warily.
"I'll tell you later," she smiled.
"Right... So, Twilight? Are we good?"
Twilight nodded. "Everyone else ready? For real, this time?" They all agreed. "Good. Then let's begin." Twilight smirked as she lit her horn, casting a chilled glow across the room. The light show expanded outward in beams of magic, connecting individually to each of Twilight's friends, who all watched with snippets of intrigue. Twilight gave a subtle nod of her head and directed the flow into herself as well. Taking one good look at all her friends, she activated the spell in a magnificent flash.
Twilight opened her eyes, having closed them under the brilliance of the light. Around her were the others, all recovering similarly. Nothing seemed to have changed, except for a sunhat having been blown off, much to the muffled laughter of one pegasus and earth pony.
"Did it work?" Fluttershy asked, seeing the alikeness to moments earlier.
"It should have..." Twilight said, "Mm, Rainbow, try phasing through the ground and flying without wings."
Giving a mock-salute, the pegasus set her sight to the ground. After a moment of uniformity, she stamped her hoof. "...Nope. Can't go through it. Heh, I'm going to miss that."
The others all put on triumphant grins at the news. "We're alive, then?" Rarity concluded.
"Seems so," Rainbow replied, "Here, let me try flying." She bounded upwards, only to start her descent after reaching the top of her arc in a flail of unsure hooves. She caught herself in flapping wings, floating to avoid hitting the ground. "And I'll miss that too," she said, "But, hey! We're alive!" A round of cheering met the words, pleased that they could all literally go back to their lives. Rainbow grinned, doing a flip in midair with her revitalized soul and body. Unfortunately, she came crashing to the ground with an "oomph" halfway through.
"Ya stop usin' your wings one day and ya forget how ta use them?" Applejack teased, looking down at the grounded pegasus.
"No!" she defended, "That was just a slip up. A small, minor slip up. It must be the new body because my left wing just gave out. She tried to flex it to prove her point but couldn't even feel it. "Ugh, it's numb or something," she muttered.
"Uh, Rainbow?" Applejack commented, "Ya might wanna take a look at your wing."
"Sure?" She turned her head around over her shoulder to see the bony stump of her pride and joy. Eyes dilating to pinpricks, she swiveled her head around her, eyes connecting with her lovely, blue wing sitting disconnected away on the floor. "Tha— Tha— It's..." She went silent before suddenly rounding on the spell caster of the group. "Twilight! Explain!"
"Ee." Twilight winced. "Uh. Something went wrong?" she offered sheepishly, drawing back with an uneasy smile.
"What. Went. Wrong?" she said, taking a step forward at each word, her hooves stomping dust and ashes up with each assault to the floor.
"Uh, give me a moment!" She teleported her necromancy book in front of her, conveniently placing it between her and the angry pegasus. Scanning the pages, she froze as her eyes came across a possible answer. She set the book down and looked at her outstretched forelimb.
"Well?" Rainbow asked impatiently.
Twilight didn't answer, instead bringing her limb closer to her face. After a brief moment of thought, she bit herself, clamping down her foreleg. The others all looked at her as if she had sprouted another head, Rainbow taking a step back, but Twilight ignored them. Tightening her grip, she pulled her head away, inducing a sickening fleshy sound as the skin of her foreleg peeled away, revealing the bone underneath.
The sounds of shocked, disgusted gasps rang through the room, along with one, "Ah'm goin' be sick!"
"Twilight!" Rarity gasped, "What are you doing? Have you gone mad?"
Twilight only looked at her ravaged flesh. Nodding, she said, "Yup. Just as I thought."
"What? What could have ever compelled you to do that?" Rarity exclaimed, her theatrics in full swing.
The alicorn looked at her friend, then at all of them. She sighed.
“So, long story short, we’re all zombies.”
Five mares stared at their friend, each drawing faces of horror to shock to everything in between.
“What do you mean we’re zombies?!” Rainbow demanded, eyes dancing around the darkened halls of Twilight’s castle. Scorning the regal walls were unsightly waves of scorch marks spiraling into an epicenter on a disembodied wing's position.
Twilight sighed, “Yeah… I messed up that spell pretty badly. I’ll admit I’ve done worse, but that was awful.”
“Worse?” Rarity cried, “What could be worse than this? We’re all zombies! We’re just mindless bodies!”
"That wasn't even a pun, Rarity," Pinkie lamented. Rarity looked back incredulously.
Pinkie looked up, "Is anyone else getting deja vu?"
"Well," Twilight said, "I'll get started on that spell to fix this. I'd say to go out until it's ready, but that's a bad idea." The others nodded, their demeanor glum at the false celebration.
"There you are!" came a familiar voice. They all turned to see Spike running down the hall. "I've been looking for you everywhere!"
Twilight smiled. "Hey, Spike. Sorry to keep you waiting, but—"
"Whoa," he interrupted, looking at her arm. Glancing around, he saw Rainbow's own predicament. "What happened here?"
"I was getting to that," she said, "We all died earlier by accident. Then I brought us back, but it didn't work as planned. We're all zombies."
He put on an unamused face. "Told you they were real. And I leave you for one moment and you kill everyone. You really do need your assistant, huh?"
She smiled, "My number one assistant. Hey, where did you put our ashes, anyways?"
"Your ashes? I thought they were just books or something!"
"Don't worry about it. So where are they?"
"Um..." he said, grabbing onto his tale as it wrapped around him, "I might have used them in the garden... as fertilizer... but only because I didn't know what they were! I just know ashes help soil!"
Twilight's eye twitched. "It's... fine, Spike. It was just an accident. I'm sure we'll make nice flowers."
As an awkward silence loomed, Rarity spoke up, "Does this mean... we'll be pushing up daises?" She looked around with a sheepish smile.
The silence came, unabated.
"Oh, come on!" Rarity said, "That one was on purpose!"
Pinkie shook her head in shame.
"Hey, girls," Rainbow said, "If we're zombies, does that mean the Princess can come back for us again? Like a kind of loophole in the deal?"
"Nope!" Pinkie denied, "She won't be coming back. In fact, she won't ever be coming back for us."
'Why's that?" Twilight asked, eyes narrowing.
A burst of pink flashed, revealing a cloak and a scythe at Pinkie's side. "Because I challenged her to limbo!"
Everyone stared.
"What?" she asked innocently.
"Well... I'm going to get started on that spell. Try not to reap any of us, please."
Twilight sighed as she turned away from them. What an eventful day, she lamented. At least it can't get any worse from here.
Right?
Probably.
"What an eventful day..." she drawled.
Author's Note
Thanks you all for reading!
