What I've Missed

by 20percentCujo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 1069

A young Ponyville filly reflects on her failures and successes in life.

Underdeveloped wings, orphanhood - Scootaloo's life has never been easy.
There is one thing that keeps her going, however.
Something that helps to forget all the tragedies and disappointments that tomorrow may bring.

Cover art by IDSmehlite.

Now with German translation!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-08 17:50:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Sometimes, I wonder what could have been.

Could have, if things didn't turn out the way they did for me. If destiny hadn't made me become so much different from everyone else.

I don't mean to brag by saying so. It's not like I consider myself better or worse than my fellow ponies. Just – in one way or another – different. Everypony knows. I can tell by the way they're looking at me. Talk to me. Of course they keep saying I'm just as good as anyone else. But on the inside, we all know that's not true. And whenever I get these thoughts, I can't help but wonder how it would be like if I were one of them.

How would it feel like to have a family; somepony who would put you to bed as a foal, nuzzle you, saying how they love you? Then maybe tell a bedtime story or two. How would that feel like, having some solid place to call 'home', instead of sleeping inside some old cardboard box every night?

To be straight, I never had any parents. Well, I probably did, but I never got to know them. I've been living like this for as long as I remember: Live one day by another, unsure about what it may bring. Just to go to sleep in some safe spot out on the streets, usually with a growling stomach, afterwards.

My friends all live with their families, as do my worst enemies. Naturally, the latter often tend to mock me with whatever they can get their hooves on. Considering that, as a pegasus, I'm already attending school, but still can't get an inch off the ground, it's not so hard to find something.

If I'll ever fly at all. Might be because of the malnutrition, my wings never really developed the way they should. Not that I can be sure about that. I've never really been to a doctor's place before, and don't plan on doing so anytime soon. I can only hope they'll grow someday. Being stuck down here for the rest of my puny existence would easily take a top spot among my worst nightmares.

Of course, I'd never openly admit that. What would my class, let alone my friends think, if their courageous, little daredevil companion would be afraid of something? There's only one pony to whom I ever confessed those feelings, and it better stay like that.

One pony, indeed. The only mare I completely trust with my entire life was the one to finally show me the bright side of my situation. Because whatever advantages all the fillies my age might have against me, there's one thing I own which they'll probably never get. Though being poor, hungry, and unappreciated, I am, more than any of them, free. I can do whatever I want with my life. I can walk down my own path with nopony telling me what's the right or wrong way. That freedom is something I wouldn't give up for anything in the world.

And there's nopony I know who could understand better than Rainbow Dash. She came out of nothing herself, and now look at her. Up to her, that probably should be. She managed to become captain of Ponyville's weather team and even join the Wonderbolts reserves in only a couple of years.

Heck yeah, the Wonderbolts. I'd easily consider the cyan-blue pegasus, whom I admire like an older sister,  as the most awesome pony in all Equestria. But if there's anypony who might be able to keep up with her, it's Spitfire, Soarin, and Fleetfoot. And if I ever had any dreams in my life, they're right there with them. But with those wings of mine...

Oh, well.

What good is a pegasus who can't fly? I've been asked that question a million times. Often by myself, but mostly also by that snobbish filly Diamond Tiara. She's mocking me the way she does with everypony else, but my situation simply seems to present quite an easy target. I guess looking down on others is pretty simple if your successful, wealthy parents considered you the greatest gift to all ponykind since the day you were born.

Lucky me, not all parents seem to be like that. And thus, not every filly acts that way towards me or others, either. Which I am overly grateful for. If it weren't for my friends, who knows where I'd be today. And the day I met Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle really did give my life a whole new meaning. Before that, I've always had to get through every day alone.

Now, living on the streets of Ponyville, practical survival isn't that hard. There's always one way or another to find some decent food and a place to sleep. But truth be told, I still felt pretty miserable most of the time. Cold cobblestone roads being your only companion through countless winter nights, I guess it's not much of a surprise. Even if I wouldn't admit that to anypony, not even Rainbow Dash most likely.

When I got those two friends, everything changed. Suddenly, life stopped being so meaningless. Not necessarily because of those darn cutie marks, which we're probably never gonna get, anyways. What's more important is that I finally learned how to appreciate others in my life. How to love and be loved.

Before we founded the Cutie Mark Crusaders, most ponies would simply turn their back on me. Everyone wanted to stay away from the filthy street urchin, the dirt spot on their perfect little world. But those two didn't only tolerate, but also accept me as one of them. And even though I might never see any of my family, at least there are a few ponies, whom I can place my trust in. Some ponies, in whose company I can consider myself happy.

They make me forget, how miserable I should be the way I am. They help me laugh in the face of despair and enjoy every possible moment of my life.

I guess I'll never understand, why that is. Much like unicorn magic, feelings never occurred to me as anything rationally understandable. But they still prove to me the one thing I know will always get me back up, whenever I fall.

I have my friends, who will always be there for me.

And friendship is magic.