Does It Bother You?

by a guy with many hats

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human
Length: 1762

A man moves in with a strange stallion, and the two share strange views on Equestria and sexuality.

Fresh off the boat a young human arrives in Equestria. He manages to find a stallion willing to put him up for a while, and before long they grow to be friends. But one strange night, when his friend walks inside with another stallion behind him, he starts to question the magical land he's in.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-14 00:40:09 UTC

That I'm...

I sat in the living room, flipping through a guide to Equestria. "Mares...huh, odd." I continued to read, warning about cultural problems between the different types of ponies. Pegasus settling down for life, earth ponies spreading it around like mad, unicorns polarized as all get out. "Weird." I closed up the pamphlet, switching up to a new one, filled with cities and geographical information. "Mountains, mountains, plains, mountains." I folded up the pamphlet, keeping my thumb on the page talking about Saddle Arabia. "So many damn mountains."

A loud snap caught my attention. "Leo, coming in." Thunderlane stated, nudging the door open. "We have company."

I looked down at the pile of brochures and notes on the coffee table. "Well I'm decent, so, yeah."

The door flung open. "Well I don't know if you're like, masturbating or something." Tunderlane walked in, tailed by a stallion in a collared jacket. "Storm, this is Leo, I'm putting him up until he finds a place to live."

The pony walked in, looking at the papers in front of me. "Hey, seen a lot of you around. What's up?" He walked over, levitating up a few of the documents. "Guide to Equestria, Dos and Don't: Pony." He cocked his head. "Is this the stuff they're offering? The seems kinda...misleading."

I looked up at him, watching as he flipped through the pages. "What do you mean?"

Storm closed up my guide. "No, I just mean, if you want to figure out stuff about ponies, you're probably better off asking instead of reading it."

I looked up at him, staring at the mauve pony. "Alright, can you tell me about unicorns?"

Storm leaned back, snickering once. "Uh, maybe later, sure."

"It said something about horns being special." I stated, trying to steer it away from the other books on mating I had. "And something about independence."

Storm nodded. "Oh yeah, like, no herding and being alone. Yeah, it depends on who you're talking to, but mostly yeah." He smiled at me. "You're alright. I talk to a few humans, and most are just here to get laid or work. Glad to see someone is actually taking some time to study up."

I shrugged. "It's just kinda weird. I thought it would be like home, and it kinda is--"

"But, we're different enough to rile you?" He asked, cocking his head. He smiled wide, "Like pegasus feathers?"

I scratched my head. "Well, I wouldn't say rile, just kinda confuse. And what about feathers?"

Thunderlane walked over. "Nevermind, he's just teasing you."

I watched the stallions talk, noticing something behind the two. Their tails were playing with each other. I grew a bit uncomfortable as the two stallions whispered. Thunderlane spotted me, "Oh, uh, Storm, you want to start cooking?"

Storm grew a bit red. "Oh, yeah sure." He walked off, leaving me sitting with Thunderlane across the table.

Tunderlane watched him leave. I coughed softly, waiting until Storm was out of the room. "Hey...is he your--"

"Yes." Thunderlane stated, turning to face me. "Why?"

I covered my mouth with my sleeve. "Just a little weird." I leaned back, tossing my papers onto the table. "Just a little bit weird."

Thunderlane cringed, walking towards me. "How is it weird?"

I shook my head. "You're gay dude, you're gay in Equestria." My voice was slightly angry. "Sorry if I sound mad dude, it's just kinda off putting."

Thunderlane walked up to the table. "Does it bother you?"

I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Honestly? A little."

Thunderlane walked up to me, nudging me to the side with his hooves. "Why?"

I turned my head. "How are you not mad at me? I mean, I don't want to fight, but I feel like you should be mad at me."

Thunderlane hopped up onto the couch. "I'm a little bugged, but it's kinda clear it's actually bothering you. I'd like to know why."

I turned to the papers, grabbing a special one from the bottom of the pile, a list of potion breweries willing to change anyone into a pony, human, anything, man or woman, you could be whatever you wanted with a single drink. "This, this is why." I passed him the paper. "I have nothing against gays! I just...it's odd to choose that."

Thunderlane looked at the paper. "I didn't choose it. It's just who I am."

I crossed my arms. "I know. I'm not judging you or telling you to change. It just makes me feel a little, confused I guess."

Thunderlane tossed the papers down. "Because I could change?"

"Yeah!" I shouted, more relieved that he saw my point than anything else. "I mean, you could be a girl! Like, in the blink of an eye, you take a potion or have a spell done to you, bam, you're back to normal!"

Thunderlane stared at me, eyes even and neutral. "I am normal. I've been normal my entire life."

I shrugged. "I mean, like, you could be a girl. Or like...if you were on top- I don't know. Your colt- person- your friend could change to be bottom."

Thunderlane tapped his hooves on the table. "Does it bother you that you're not a pony?"

I turned to my friend. "Wait, huh?"

Thunderlane nodded. "You're in Equestria, why aren't you a pony? Or a griffon? Does it bother you that you're so different?"

I felt my face twist up. "Honestly, a little. But I'm not a pony, I don't think I'd enjoy being a pony. It would just be kinda weird. I wouldn't fit in, and it would just be wrong."

"And you think me turning into a girl would be normal?" Thunderlane asked, looking through the papers on the table.

"Well, you're gay. I mean, if I thought I would be a good pony, or griffon, or something like that, I'd probably change into a pony. But you're gay, you could be a girl too!"

Thunderlane scratched the table with his hoof. "But I'm not a girl, and I don't think I'd be a good mare." He turned to me with a soft frown. "I like stallions, does that mean I have to be a girl?"

I scratched my head. "I guess not." I leaned back in my seat. "I just thought it would be something you'd want. I just don't get why someone would choose to be a gay man."

Thunderlane looked up at me. "Well I didn't choose. And why wouldn't I?"

I shook my head. "No, I mean back home it's tough. A lot of people don't like them, they get a lot of crap for being gay, people are mean to them, some places they can't get married--"

"Good thing this is Equestria then." Thunderlane stated, "Now, I'm going to ask again. Does it bother you that I'm gay?"

I took a deep breath, "No. It never bothered me that you're gay. It bothered me that you could change, and didn't want to." I leaned back, settling deep into the couch. "But it doesn't even bother me, it was just, confusing."

Thunderlane smiled at me. "But it doesn't bother you?"

I shook my head. "No, god no. You can bang whoever you want. Love whoever you want, do whatever you want. I just didn't- uh, I guess I still don't completely understand."

Thunderlane took a deep breath. "I'm a stallion, I like other stallions. I don't want to be a woman, I'm a stallion, and happy to be a stallion. I have no reason to change, I'm happy as I am."

I nodded. "Alright." I kept nodding, feeling my heart warm up. "I think I just need time to let that settle in."

Thunderlane nodded. "Hey, so how's the hunt going?"

I looked up at him. "You still want to talk to me right now?"

Thunderlane nodded, his mohawk shaking gently. "You came with an honest question. I'm not going to be mad at you for that."

I felt my stomach burble in shame. "I kinda wish you were. I feel like an asshole now."

Thunderlane shrugged. "Too bad. I can't be mad at honesty, so unless you want to start being a complete douche, you're just going to have to feel like that."

I chuckled softly. "I'll survive I guess." I picked up a few maps. "Hey, where should I go?"

Thunderlane pulled my map away. "What are you looking for?"

I stared at the maps, eyes darting from town to town. "I don't know."

Thunderlane set the maps down, his hooves clacking against the table. "Well, better start backpacking."

"Huh?"

Thunderlane nodded, a warm smile on his face. "If you don't know, best way to find out is to start adventuring. Start here in Ponyville, then just start walking. I'd say go north to south. Start in the Crystal Empire, go to Vanhoover, Canterlot, go counterclockwise, you'll end up in Manehattan or the Griffon Lands."

I scratched my head. "Grand adventure. Sounds expensive."

Thunderlane chuckled. "I guarantee you I could find someone to help you out. Fund your trip, or set you up with work for stay."

I smiled at him. "You think so? Thanks man."

Thunderlane nodded. "Sure dude," he held his hoof out, waiting for me to bop it. "I'll talk to some friends tomorrow."

I bopped his hoof with my fist. Things went a bit quiet before I piped up. "Hey Thunder, does it bother you than I'm human?"

Thunderlane looked up at me. "Not at all. Why?"

I shook my head, feeling my heart warm up. "Just asking. Sorry for being a prick."

Thunderlane shrugged. "You're not a prick, Storm's a prick. A huge prick." He snickered, "Real meaty prick."

"Echk." I snarled. "That's gay."

"I know." Thunderlane stated, catching onto my joke. "So gay."

I laughed gently. "Seriously, thanks for not crucifying me."

Thunderlane smiled, hopping down from the couch. "Eh, if you made fun of me for being gay, I'd make fun of you for having a small dick."

"Uh...I don't have a small--"

"Compared to Storm, yes you do." He walked out, leaning his flank against the doorway. "Unless you're ready to pony up and prove otherwise."

"Touche." I stated, looking back to my maps. "Touche good sir."

Thunderlane looked back, flicking his tail at me. "En' garde." He turned around in the doorway. "Now did you want to join us?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No, I'll go pick something up. You two enjoy yourselves." I stood up, grabbing a few brochures. "I'm gonna go see what I can learn."