Rarity Has No Tea

by Long Long Way From Home

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Random
Length: 1437

Rarity runs out of tea

A pony as refined and elegant as Rarity knows the importance of starting the day with a lovely cup of tea. But what happens when she runs out?

Published 2014-10-29 03:50:08 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-29 03:50:08 UTC

Most important drink of the day

It was six in the morning when a beautiful melody began flowing through Rarity’s bedroom. A performance of Fur Elise, performed by Octavia Philharmonica. Rarity was much too refined to wake up to anything less regal. As she gently stirred from her sleep, she was greeted by the warm comfort of her thick linen comforter, and the golden rays of sunshine which peeked through her window blinds and lit up the room. Vibrant hues of reds, greens, blues, and any other color you could imagine filled the room with a medley of colors, as the sun illuminated the various works of art that filled The ivory pony’s days. Choosing to wait till the end of her alarm, Rarity allowed herself to be serenaded by the sweet singing of a heartfelt cello. As the piece drew to a close, Rarity emerged from her warm cocoon to greet the day. Six in the morning may have felt early to some ponies, but true beauty such as hers did not come easily. She had a reputation to uphold, after all.

Following her typical morning routine of a shower, makeup, and the standard two hours of choosing the most appropriate accessories for her mood, the white unicorn descended the staircase with a certain air of regality, as if she felt she were gracing all of Ponyville with her presence. Leisurely walking through the kitchen, her horn lit up with a light blue glow as she magically retrieved some bread from the breadbox and eggs from the fridge. While she prepared herself an omelette, she lit up her horn in search of her morning tea. After all, no day could be started without a civilized cup of tea. Her light smile faltered momentarily as her magical retrieval turned up empty. Trying again she was met with the same results. Confused, Rarity physically walked over to the cabinet, opening it with a hoof to attempt to figure out what the problem was. The sight that greeted her shook her to her very core. This truly was the worst possible thing.

As the sun rose slightly higher in the clear sky, it warmed the lands underneath. Glistening with a light sheen of sweat was an orange earth pony, working hard to pull a cart full of apples to the market with the intention of selling them. She worked hard to make an honest living, and while her income was nothing to write home about, she was comfortable with her place in the world. With a bright smile, she looked over the market attempting to gauge interest among the current ponies in attendance. What caught her eye, however, was a certain white unicorn who she was certain she had never seen at the market before.

“Rarity? What’re you doin here? You never come to the farmers market!” Applejack exclaimed with an air of surprise.

“Applejack! Oh my, yes. Funny seeing you here!” Rarity nervously replied. Without her usual cup of tea to set her mind right for the day ahead, Rarity was in no state to grace the world with her lovely presence. She had to rectify her predicament quickly.

“Is somethin the matter? Yer lookin as jumpy as a jackrabbit in July!”

“Hmm, quite, well, I was wondering...you wouldn’t happen to have any tea, would you?” Rarity inquired, ignoring her friends horribly overplayed love of metaphors and alliteration.

“Tea? Shucks Rarity, we ain’t got any of that. We prefer good old coffee-”

The last of Applejack’s sentence fell on deaf ears, for as soon as Rarity knew she would not get anywhere with Applejack, she had turned and trotted off to another one of her friends in search of that magical morning brew.

Sugarcube Corner was next on Rarity’s list, as it was closest to her current location. As she neared the shop she was already able to see a pink blur bouncing around through the large plate glass windows of the bakery. She wasted no time rushing through the front door, loudly chiming the bell to alert the owners of a customer, and sporting a slight eye twitch.

“Pinkie!” Rarity said loudly, attempting to mask her frantic mood with her normal refined manner of speaking. The result, however, sounded mostly panicked.

“Hi Rarity!” The peppy earth pony shouted with glee! “What brings you he-”

“Tea! Do you have any tea!”

Rarity’s eye twitched noticeably, as her desire for tea strained her public facade.

“Tea? I don’t think so. We do have lots of fresh cookies though!” Pinkie replied with a smile.

“Dammit Pinkie! What good are you to me?!” Rarity shouted as she once again stormed off in ever increasing anger. Pinkie was left in a rare state of speechlessness, unsure of how to respond to the outburst. Deciding there was nothing she could do about it, Pinkie’s confusion was quickly forgotten as the shrill buzzing of an oven timer reached her ears. She cheerfully bounded off towards the back of the shop to retrieve her latest batch of cookies, and hoped that Rarity found whatever it was she had been looking for.

Rarity’s frantic pace increased to a gallop as she headed in the direction of Twilight’s treehouse when out of the corner of her eye she spotted a glimmer of color in the otherwise clear blue sky. Rainbow Dash was napping on a cloud she appeared to have saved from the weather team, as per her usual routine. Planting her feet firmly, Rarity’s glamorous coiffure swung past her head she stopped in a much more forceful manner than was really necessary.

“RAINBOW DASH!” Rarity shouted loudly, partially out of concern that Rainbow Dash would be too far away for her to hear, but more out of madness that her daily tea fix had yet to be fulfilled.

At the nearly violent outburst from below, Dash was quickly woken, and nearly found herself falling off of her cloud.

“Sheesh Rarity, where’s the fire?” The cyan pegasus said with a slight amount of disdain. She needed her regular naps, and did not appreciate being woken so early or so suddenly.

“SHUT UP. DO YOU HAVE ANY TEA.”

“Huh?” Rainbow was confused. She had never seen her friend so frantic before, and truthfully it scared her slightly. She was glad to be up so high, and out of her friends reach.

“DON’T PLAY DUMB WITH ME FEATHERBRAIN. DO YOU HAVE ANY TEA OR NOT??”

“No, I don’t! And even if I did-” Rainbow trailed off as she watched the normally highly refined pony sprinting away at a pace that would have put Applejack or even herself to shame.

“What’s her problem.” Rainbow angrily muttered to herself before settling back into her cloud to resume her nap.

A dust cloud rounding the corner, headed by a streak of white was the only warning poor Fluttershy was given before being confronted by a maddened tea-craving version of the Element of Generosity. Her eye now at full twitch, Rarity’s legs had joined in the shivering, as the unicorn was reduced to a shivering mess of a pony. Sweat drenched her previously expertly combed mane, and a glazed look of madness lingered over her eyes. Lips drawn in a half smile, she was only able to loudly shout out, “TEA” at the demure pegasus before her. Completely overstimulated by fear, the yellow pony simply fainted in response.

Public image now shoved to the side, Rarity had forgotten all except for a primal need for tea. Only tea would sate her fury, and she knew that the last of her friends would be sure to have it. Madness taking over entirely, she sprinted full force towards the library which had just come into view. In front of the door, a purple unicorn stood, holding a box. Upon closer examination, Rarity saw it was a box of Earl Grey tea.

“TWILIGHT! TEA! NOW!” Rarity bounded up to Twilight, seizing the box of tea with her mouth, and quickly sprinted off.

“Oh hello, Rarity. Nice to see you too. Would you like some tea?” Twilight said to herself, voice thick with sarcasm. A purple and green dragon opened the door and joined her as they watched the dust cloud grow smaller in the distance.

“You know, I always wondered why we have so much tea when neither of us drinks it.” Spike remarked.

“I’m just glad Applejack got here first this time.” Twilight replied, before the two of them returned to the library to continue their days work.

Author's Note

A random fic I wrote just for the sake of writing something.