Undercover Dates

     "Well, um, ok. I guess I became fascinated with sea ponies when I was eight, but I got serious with them in my twenties."

     Rainbow Dash and a pale red stallion were talking about sea ponies. It seemed that Rainbow's "date" was quite infatuated by them, which made her uncomfortable.

     The restaurant they were in was very elegant. It had wood columns leading up to the ceiling. Soothing music was being played. It was a romantic scene to be in.

     "Little known-fact, they don't wear saddles like in that cartoon."

     Across the room, Soarin was watching the two from behind a cardboard cutout of a stallion with a handlebar mustache. He spread his right wing and used it to push his mane back. He was about to give Rainbow's little date a piece of his mind.

     "This is me and a picture of a long-nosed sea pony. His name is Bob."

     "Uh, great name, I guess."

     "Thanks I-"

     Soarin walked over to the table. Instead of yelling at the colt immediately, he acted as a waiter. He held a water pitcher in his mouth. That way the mare whose cart it was on would think he worked there, not that he had originally taken it to chug it, and just forgot to put it back.

     He poured the water into the colts drink. Water poured from it, but there was also a small wasp.

I think I know why she was using the other one now.

     He hoped that he wouldn't notice. Sure it was a jerk move, but it's his marefriend that he is feeling up.

     Rainbow noticed Soarin filling their glasses. He immediately saw that she wanted him to leave. There was also a bit of dread in her eyes, or maybe that's just how tired she is. He would already be asleep listing to this guy talking about sea ponies.

     Without realizing his actions, he overflowed the glass, causing the liquid to pour over the table and into the colt's lap.

     "Yah! Sir! Sir! Sir!!! Sir excuse me! What the hell?" The colt exclaimed.

     "Oh, gee, I'm sorry. Hello Prism."

     'Prism' was astonished. What is Soarin doing?! Does he know what I'm doing?!

     "Do you have something to say for yourself?" Soarin asked, pivoting his front left hoof in small circles, trying to encourage her to reply.

     "Who's this guy?"

     "Who am I? Who are you?! I'm the coltfriend so you can stop staring creepily my lady's purple eyes, Jack!"

     "My name is actually Burning Light."

     "My eyes are magenta." Rainbow unknowingly stated.

     "How do you know? You can't see them."

     "Light, this is my ex-coltfriend." She nervously glanced between Light and Soarin.

     "Ex? Oh that's how were gonna do this."

     Rainbow hastily whispered towards him to stop, but he continued his rant.

     "Oh, COME ON! He's not even good-looking. I, me and, he's-- it's ok." Soarin poked a wing at Light's mane. "You know what? It's not great, I'm sorry. You know I'm not sorry."

     A bright orange colt with a mike atop his ears leaned over a countertop in the restaurant's kitchen. Rapidfire was listening to Soarin. He was compromising the sting operation.

Does that bumbling oaf have to ruin everything?!

     "You have got to be kidding me. Lightning!" Another stallion poked his head from around a corner. "Get out there and do something about this!"

     "I would if I could, but I'm in a hole here." Lightning adjourned a stained apron on his chest and neck. He was putting the food on the plates.

     "You get- get Soarin out of there blows this whole thing! Go!" Rapidfire grabbed a hoof full of chopped carrots and threw them at him. He clutched his head in frustration.

     "LEAVE THE SPAGHETTI!"

     "Ok!"

     "I'm sorry Light, this is my ex Soarin. He is a bit, how should I put this.... immature."

     "So we really are gonna play like this, dirty ball style, huh. We're playing old school nasty ball? Well good luck finding more breadsticks." Soarin reached across the table and slide the breadstick basket to him. He closed his jaw on the plastic piece that stuck out on the left edge of it.

     Lightning trotted out the kitchen doors and hurriedly made his way over to the colt continuing his petty thievery of breadsticks. He tapped his shoulder several times.

     "What? WHAT?!" He turned and looked at the nervous stallion.

     "Lightning? What are you doing here?"

     "This is my table."

     "This is your-" Lightning darted his eyes in Rainbow's direction. Soarin got the hint and looked to see what he was gesturing to. On the strap of her dress, there was a small black clip, which he recognized as a recording device. He then looked at the convex mirror across the room and saw Rapidfire trotting back and forth, also with a mike. Realization dawned his face.

     "Hmm, you know what? I've had some time to think about this, and I'm way out of line here. I'd like to apologize. You are both lovely." He turned to Rainbow. "You are especially lovely."

     "Thank you."

     "Dessert will be on me. I'm gonna go... marry some ketchups. They have a really nice flourless cake. I could get that. Be right back."

     Soarin and Lightning left the table and entered the kitchen.

     "You don't work here Lightning."

     "Not yet."

     Once the door closed, the met Rapidfire's hard glare.

     "Rapid, I need a flourless, chocolate cake, right now, on the fly."

     "Good going, moron. You may have just blown Detective Dash's cover and six weeks worth of work."

     "Soooo, no cake?"

     "Ok, listen up. In the past three months, two mares, in their early twenties, were killed. They were both strangled, and both bodies were found in a densely wooded area, but we are unable to find any other evidence that could connect the two mares. That was until we found this." Misty Fly flipped the whiteboard over to show various pictures connected by lines.

     Several other officers and detectives studied what they saw.

     "Both mare's had profiles on the dating site lookingforlove.com. in addition, they dated these six stallions. We believe that one of them is our killer. So we sent Detective Dash undercover to help draw these stallions out."

     Soarin clacked his hooves together. He was making the only noise in the silent room.

     "Bottom line, awesome news. Can I clarify Chief? Thanks, what I want to say is, thank god that there is just a psychotic serial killer on the loose, and not that Ms. Detective Rainbow Dash here was actually out there, dating strange ponies."

     "I have another date tomorrow."

     Soarin went cross eyed. "Are you insane! Have you completely lost your mind?!"

     "Seriously, you went on a dating show, and made it to the FINALE."

     "Cause I am a grown stallion! And I do what gets the job done!"

     "Enough. The two of you-"

     "And don't get me wrong, it's not that she hasn't done an awesome job Jesabelling herself throughout the city, but it seems to me that you are dealing with circumstantial evidence. So Chief, you need me to go in there and figure these dudes out. Or assault them. Either one is fine." Soarin spoke. He was getting more aggravated by the second, raising his voice as the words flowed from his mouth.

     "Doing so is your specialty. So...  you can work together on this."

     Soarin trotted down the green hallway of the office. He needed to speak with his partner.

    "Hey, dude! Where have you been? I need you. There's some major boomerang-to-the face stuff going on down here. Are ya just going to leave me, all alone in the vast wilderness? Huh? Is that your thing now?" Spitfire flatly looked at him. "What?"

     "Soarin, this is Winter Haze."

     "Yo."

     "So your the new dude, from the internet, with the picture.... and the face...."

     "Soarin, what are you talking about?" Spitfire asked. He definitely had a way with using the most ridiculous phrases to describe something.

     "Is he a friend of yours?" Haze politely wondered.

     "What kind of name is 'Winter Haze' anyway!" Soarin blurted out.

     "Chill Soarin. I have already had enough headaches today."

     Soarin sighed. "To answer your question, yes. Best friends. From birth, all the way from our childhood dreams to our darkest nightmares."

     "Ok then."

     "He was kidding about the 'darkest nightmares' thing. He kids around a lot. Mostly inappropriately."

     "Like how you were the other night when you said that that waiter-" Spitfire clamped her front hooves over his face.

     "Shh, nopony needs to hear that."

     "Well it seems like everypony had fun. But me and Spits here have to attend some serious matters at the moment. You can just, fly somewhere I guess."

     "Soarin, I think the date is still going."

     "Ooooh, I get it. You need to say your goodbyes. Ok. First date, last date. I'll wait."

     "The first date was last night. So this is the second right?" The stallion turned the mare at his side.

    "Technically, you are correct. So this wouldn't be inappropriate."

    Both leaned toward each other and kissed lightly.

     "Wait a minute, you two didn't actually-" Soarin made gestures with his wings.

     "Get your head out of the gutter before I shove it in the grate leading to it."