Undercover Dates

    "Hey Soarin. What do ya think?"

     Rainbow Dash walked out of the changing room at a clothing store. She wore a form fitting dress that was light blue at the top, and faded to purple at the end. It has holes for her wings, which were fanned out at her sides.

    "Uh... you... look like your late to a skimpy video shoot."

     "Soarin, just chill ok? I don't want to date any of these dudes. Did you forget I'm solving a murder?"

      "Prism?" A voice called from down the hall.

Great, it's the necklace dude.

     "Seasons." Rainbow gave a grin and waved to him.

     "C'mon, this guy? He's some hayfries smothered in... failing... ketchup."

     Seasons called from the room again. "Did you get the flowers I sent?"

    "Yeah, and then this doofus ate them." Rainbow replied. Soarin shrugged.

     "Hey, food is food."

     "Those were not for eating!"

     Rainbow began to trot over to were Seasons was trying on a tuxedo. Soarin followed close behind her.

     "They were nice, at least, before they were eaten." She shouted to him.

     "This guy has been eliminated as a suspect. So we can leave now."

     "Eliminated? Just because he didn't kill me then doesn't mean he won't kill me now." Rainbow rebutted.

     "What, do you want to be killed?"

     "No!" Her feathers ruffled as she glared at Soarin, eyes full of annoyance.

     "Fine your right, ok. But I'm the wingpony."

     "I don't need a wingpony."

     Without noticing, Rainbow Dash and Soarin were standing in front of Leafy Seasons. Rainbow nervously smiled at him.

     "Who is this?"

    "A friend." She responded hastily.

     Friend. That's me. Just friending it up over here."

What? Rainbow thought

     "I'm in the friend thing, right?

    She sighed, "Yes Soarin, what else would you be?"

     "A banana."

    "Why in Equestria would you be a banana?"

     ".... What is that? A suit for your school pictures?" Soarin looked over Seasons' apparel. Leafy Seasons looked down at it and shrugged.

     "Nope. When I get an important deal complete, I buy myself a suit. I do commercial real estate. I build some pretty awesome stuff. Like skyscrapers, or government buildings. What do you do?"

     "I'm a detective, Jack. And I build... Canterlot furniture stuff." He turned to Rainbow. "I've got nothin'."

     "He lives with his parents." She looked at the tuxedo wearing colt flatly.

     "They need somepony to care for them. They are too old and frail to survive on their own. One has a Colostomy bag."

     "Its not like the live in the woods. And neither of them have a Colostomy bag."

     "Well, no but....... forget it."

     "Hey, Soar-Soar, come put these on. I bet they will look adorable on you!" The three equines faced the owner of the voice. Glide was hovering by a rack of clothing. In her hooves, she held a bright yellow hat with a matching shirt. The words across the shirt said, "I like bagels."

     Soarin sped over to his mother. He hurriedly tried to shoo her off. When that failed, he began to talk at a dull whisper.

     "I appreciate you deciding to come with me.... even though I didn't ask... but I'm am in a investigation right now!" He said in a hushed tone.

     Glide, however, was unfazed. "Just hold this up to your shoulders." She set the hat onto his head. It didn't look quite right to the mare, so it was adjusted several times. Each time it scratched across Soarin's ears and he tilted them back. Now with more room to adjust, Glide got the hat in the perfect position. With that done, she landed on the floor. And nodded at her small accomplishment with the hat. She passed him a small mirror.

     "I'm investigating a mur--. Oh, that's neat. You see that? It's pretty nice."

     "Do you want to go out again sometime?"

     "No.. I'm...look Seasons, you are a cool guy, but I'm not the one for you. That guy is my ex," she pointed her hoof at Soarin. "And we're going to get back together."

     "Really? Him?"

     "That's his mom."

    "Well, he is a lucky guy."

     Rainbow had a bittersweet smile. She cocked her head to the side slightly. Her rainbow locks drifted in front of her nose. She went cross eyed trying to focus on the strand. Her head tilted further and the strand brushed against her nose. She sneezed.

     "Bless you, and good luck." Seasons bore a sad, slanted smile. He looked downtrodden. With his head hanging partially down, he trotted off into the stallions dressing room.

     "What the hell is going on here?"

     "Gah! Soarin! What are you doing?!"

     "Asking a question. Can you answer it? That guy just looked like you told him that his grandma died. You know what? Disregard that question. Is this about you, showing off? Do you just want to make yourself seem better than all those other mares? You know, the ones that DIED. Probably from this possibilities guy..."

     "What? Am I not attractive? Is that what's going on?"

     "I don't know. Those mares are dead. Your competing with mares that were murdered."

     "I have got to be attractive. I mean, you see this?" Rainbow swayed her flanks side to side and flicked her mane back. "C'mon, you have to be stupid not to think that this is sexy, or maybe a gay pony might not think I am...." She put a hoof to her chin. She focused on a spot on the floor as she pondered who would think that she is not sexy. "I think I hate those mares now."

     "The dead ones? The murdered ones?"

"Yeah, it's pretty messed up and disrespectful that I said that, huh."

      Soarin thought for a second. Then it finally clicked.

     "Actually, it great that you said that."

     "Hang with me Fields! We have been concentrating this entire time on the guys, but what if it was a mare? There could just be an angry mare that can't get this Mr. Possibilities to go on a date with him!"

     Soarin was walking back and forth in the conference room. Fallow Fields was sitting in a swivel chair, facing his large laptop. He hooves cracked across the keys.

     "Mares. They smell your pheromones and the fangs come out."

     "What are pheromones?"

     "Never mind, but I have seen it first hoof."

     "I bet you have. You are like a swordspony." Soarin said as he leaned over his chair.

     "I was captain of my fencing team in high school."

     "Not what I meant. But seriously, what if it's a mare that is killing off the competition?"

     Soarin put is hooves on Fallow Fields shoulders. Fields continued typing and hacked into the profile. He found that a mare had messaged him eleven times. Her name was Blaze.

     "This chick went off the charts for this guy, and she didn't even get a response." They both laughed. "Kind of creepy. Even for creepy online mares."

     "Can you pull up a picture?"

     "Sure, lemme just.... There we go."

     "Oh boy. This isn't good."

    The picture depicted a mare that Soarin saw at Spitfire's family reunions. She looked almost exactly like her. The only differences were that Blaze's mane didn't have yellow in it, and her coat color had more orange than Spitfire's.

     "It's Spitfire's sister."