Minty Image

"You see, darling..." The cyan pony stated, as calmly as she could, her body shaking almost invisibly.

"Quit stalling!" Chrysalis demanded, snorting angrily. "I can tell, just by the scent!" She announced, pointing to her muzzle with one of her front hooves. "Those are definitely Larva's pheromones!" She shouted, stamping her hooves. "Now I demand to know what you did!"

Rainbow took a calming breath. "I did nothing, darling, " She replied calmly. "You see, darling..."

"Quit stalling!" The queen snarled. "Your lies won't help you here! A mother never forgets the scent of her daughters!" She shouted, calling for her praetorian guards.

The queen gave a very sinister expression as five of her burliest guards began to materialize, from seemingly nowhere.

"Now," the queen hissed calmly. "I'll ask you one final time!... What... did... you... do... to.... her!!!" She snarled, her face growing red.

"Well, you see, darling -- " Rainbow replied, only getting a few words in before the queen stopped her.

"SHUT UP!" The queen hissed, her eyes growing green. "How dare you, and your dame of a daughter practice your fiendish necromancy on my precious daughter!" She announced, seizing the green pony, by the neck, in her magic.

"Um... excuse me..." Pinkie interrupted, calmly. "Ummm.... I don't mean to interrupt, but -- " The pink pony continued, quietly.

"Then don't!" The queen shouted, causing the pink pony to step back a step. "I see that clueless expression on her face!" She said, using her hoof to motion her hoof over the green pony's face, who continued to gasp in her magical grasp. "You did something to her mind!" She shouted, her eyes growing an unnatural green for a changeling. "You poisoned her mind against me!" She continued, conspiratorially. "But we have the means to free her mind from your spell Auroras!!!"

"But darling!" Rainbow protested, one final time. "Chrysi! -- "

"Just like you did Amaryllis!" The queen continued, pointing at her guards, who dutifully snatched up the cyan and pink earth ponies. "But you'll regret bringing her back to me!!!!" She shouted, at the top of her lungs, stamping her hooves for her elite guards to grab the intruders. "And now you'll wish that I had continued to think of her as dead!!!"

The queen turned to her guards. "GUARDS!!!!" She shouted, pointing her hoof to the door. "Take my aunt and her spawn to the dungeons!!! I'll decide what to do with them later!" She hissed, finally releasing the green pony, who lay on the floor gasping for air. "Take my daughter to one of the cocoons! We have to get her out of this ludicrous form, before she sticks that way!" She demanded, as her personal guard picked up the clueless green pony like a solid piece of wood, and carted her out the door.

"But queen!" Her captain of the guard protested. "She's well over sixteen, she would have changed back, if she could..."

The queen held her muzzle with her hoof. "How you dare even imply that, you foal!" She shouted at her guards. Such utter ineptitude!!! How did she end up surrounded by such utter failures? Was she the only sane pony in this whole hive? "Just take her to the cocoons..." She demanded, stamping her hoof.

"Yes, my -- " The guards responded, all snapping to attention, including those now detaining Rainbow, and Pinkie.

"Just do it!!!!" The queen shouted angrily, causing a crash, as the legion of guards, once again. tripped all over themselves, literally, to complete her request.

"Yes... my queen..." The captain of her guard replied, under his breath, his hoof shaking silently, his thoughts well hidden...

**********

"What's that?" Wall Flower asked, turning to his compatriot, Cyprus Blossom, as a suspicious clopping sound echoed down the long hallways. "Do you hear a gallop?" He asked, craning his ear to hear the loud tapping sound as it progressed slowly down the long twisting hallways. Towards them.

"Nah!" Cyprus Blossom replied, shrugging his withers. "It's too slow, it almost sounds like somepony's -- " He remarked, being interrupted mid sentence by the approach of the prince who slowly emerged from behind the corner, his hooves dragging behind him, as they occasionally clopped against the floor as he shifted sadly along, his head held low. Maybe that's where that noise was coming from?

The prince looked up, and returned a timid smile as he, apparently, tried to put up a strong act for his sister, who was having another one of her, now infamous, episodes...

"Is my sister, the queen, available for an audience?" The crown prince asked politely, to the guards, granting the two stallions the undue respect of a courteous bow. "I heard that our precious aunt had returned, miraculously, from the great beyond, and I wanted to join her, and my dear sister, the queen, in the most joyous moment, " he said, trotting between the two guards.

The guards frowned sadly, turning to each other, before hesitantly crossing the doorway with their wings. "I'm sorry prince, " the guards replied, in unison, diligently following their duty. It was such a shame that the hive was now plagued with a mad queen while her perfectly rational brother was reduced to performed meaningless diplomatic errands.

"But your sister wishes to be left alone," they continued, their voices quivering slightly, "and has commanded that no more visitors be permitted today," continued the senior of the two, his face slightly forlorn.

"Oh, I'm certain, that you can let me: her loving brother in, " he said, tenderly, putting a hoof on the guard's wither. "I mean, who else could possibly be there to comfort her, of not me?" He asked, pleading with the guards to give him entry. "After all, are we of one mind?" He asked, stating the obvious. "Won't you please reconsider?" He asked, stooping down so low as to drop into a begging position.

If only the queen weren't more vehement. Her brother was doing everything in his power to help his sister. But... Orders were orders! "I'm sorry, my prince, " the guard responded. "But the queen is in mourning, and wishes not to be disturbed?" They said the stern tones in their voices returning.

The prince gave a befuddled expression, his form becoming rigid. "I don't mean to pry, my good stallions, " he said, formally. "But why would she be mourning, when her beloved aunt, the hero of the hive, has returned, from the dead, to us?" He asked, the concern showing on his face. "Could she--?" He asked, shaking his head 'it was improper to make such implications of their leader, no matter how sick she appeared.'

The guards shrugged, few who lived in the hive even still remembered the half drone princess, with the rainbow mane and tail, but the stories about that they had heard about her were less than flattering.

The prince gave a dismayed smile. "Couldn't you bend the rules, for me, just this once?" He asked, softly, looking the two stallions straight in the eyes, softly.

The guards shook their heads. "We're sorry, our prince, but the queen has commanded us, and we are unable to disobey, " they said, firmly, their wings now pointing down the hall.

"Very well, " the prince said, with a frown, as he trotted down the hall, his head hung in deep despair. It was a shame his mad sister was in charge and not the good prince...

The prince's back hooves slipped behind him as he slowly proceeded down the hall...

**********

Stupid hive mind! Not just had that dame of an aunt of hers, just now, ruined her day, but she would be even further behind in ~~her~~ the hive's work. Why? Because her stray thoughts might leak into the pea brains of those silly drones, and throw her nice organized hive into complete chaos.

Heck! She would probably be more productive in her sleep!

... Except that it would make it just that much harder to shield her thoughts from the numbskulls while she was sleep.

And it didn't help that that the general displeasure of a visit from her old dead dame of an aunt was filling her head with old memories... Chrysalis was sure of it.

She snarled, as she started to recall the last time that wretched old jane had dared darken her beautiful organized hive: the night her first daughter had passed on, or at least she'd thought at the time.

Of course, the development had not been that big of a surprise, the poor thing had been sickly and weak since birth, a common birth defect that had been passed down, off and on, through the family -- a mark of true nobility (or at least that's what they told the commoners.) And the hive couldn't seem to gather the required amount of love to keep her healthy. Leaving her, the queen, to watch in melancholy as her daughter's condition slowly deteriorated, her decline only accelerating quickly upon The Lady's return to the hive, along with her wretched mutant of a daughter.

And of course, the seeming inevitability of the bad news didn't make it any easier, as an old dinosaur from her grandmother's days had been the one to break the news: Prime Minister Wormwood.

"I'm sorry, my queen, " the old geezer stated, with dismay. "But your first daughter, Princess Larva, ..."

"Spit it out you old geezer," The queen hissed. "I don't like being awakened at this hour."

The old catcher straightened himself out, and took a quick breath. "Of course...."

"Now get on with it..." The queen demanded, drowsily.

"You daughter, Princess Larva, ..." the codger continued. "Has left for the eternal fields, " he said, with a frown.

What followed next was a riotous rout of laughter. "You've gone senile, old man! There's no way that any daughter of mine could pass on now," she boastfully exclaimed. "Where's that caretaker that I put in charge of her care?" The queen asked. "She'll be able to set you straight you old dinosaur," she said, her composure returning. "Now where is that old bat, Madragora?" The queen asked, desperately.

"She left the hive, along with Phytolacca, Belladonna, and Dulcamara, in pursuit of your aunt, who fled the hive, along with her daughter," the old fart replied. "They suspect that your aunt had something to do with her demize."

"What!!" She had exclaimed, being unwilling to accept the outcome, and, of course, a full investigation had been launched, into the matter. And, in the end, it was decided that the culprit was malnutrition, not her aunt, though doubts still plagued her mind, even to this very day. Not that it mattered, as Dulcamara successor, Solanaceae, verified the pass of his former mentor (or at least that's what he thought.)

And her luck only got worse from there.

**********

"Bad news, highness, " her advisor had stated, once again, waking her at a late hour. "But apparently, the foster parents your brother had suggested to you weren't as ... fit... as your brother had supposed they were, " the old stallion explain, with a prune like expression. "And your foal has... died... of malnutrition!" The stallion said, covering his head, with his hooves, as he anticipated a barrage of flying objects.

It just seemed like she had been cursed when it came to foals, a fact her brother had brought up endlessly...

And things had seemed so upbeat, at first, when it seemed like the gods had finally heard her pleas when a second foal was born healthy, after a seemingly endless series of stillbirths.

And not just, had she completed her royal duty, for the hive, but that her brother had found the perfect host family, loving, stable, and prone to stillbirths, saving her the morbid actions that her mother had been forced to undertake, upon her birth.

Sadly, this foal too seemed cursed as it's family abandoned it to die in their petty war with each other...

The queen shed a silent tear...

Starving her poor foal...

But not to worry, she grabbed justice by the horns, brought it home. And all it required was a few changeling imposters, a bribed judge or two, and a couple of 'well meaning' bureaucrats. Heck, even the treacherous lady's old apprentice, a young and upcoming mage of the hive, Solanaceae, had demonstrated his loyalty, to the hive, by throwing in a few spells at the time.

And as the cherry on top of her shake of revenge, the last she heard those two tightwads was that they were in locked in the tower in Canterlot, charged with first degree murder, their family name was a laughing stock, and a mark of shame, and their precious wealth was in the hooves of their first foal.

And that, friends, is what comes of those who mistreat the queen's foals.

**********

What followed next was another long spell of miscarriages, and stillbirths, before her third, and final foal was born. And her reputation in the hive, was not, having fallen considerably during her rash of failures, with the rumor that she was sick, or cursed, or something, causing her star to set slightly, and her brother's star to rise.

The good news was that before her 'precious brother' could become too much a threat, her third foal, Amaryllis, was born, 'healthy' (or at least as 'healthy' as any of her foals had been to date.)

And, she, having been dubious after her last foal's mistreatment had passed on her brother's less than helpful assistance, and had put her new prime minister Artemisia on the job. And, in a show of her superior intellect to her brother, had already assigned her foal to the perfect host family (down to the optimal time of birth, and demise of their young foal.)

The switch was made, and from there, she simply had to sit, and wait... sixteen long years... Well... Not completely sit, and wait... She had a bad habit of meddling to ensure the foal's safety, despite her advisor's wishes, and better judgement. Something about her mother's experiences, in a failed attempt to infiltrate Canterlot, in preparation for a changeling invasion -- an invasion she would attempt some day.

And at the end of sixteen years, the perfect opportunity presented itself. She'd managed to get her hooves on a princess of Equestria, and put her daughter's 'brother' under her power.

And from there, things worked exactly as expected. Replace her daughter's 'brother's' bride -- check. Butter her daughter up with kindness -- check. Learn the ins and outs of being 'Princess Cadance' -- check. Aid her daughter's 'deteriorating condition' with some 'healing magic' -- check. Convince her daughter, that the lug she called a 'brother', to take a 'nap' -- check. Obtain the dear's 'brother', to act as act as food for the hive (well the dear did need something to help her with the adjustment back to hive living) -- check. Obtain two changelings of the infiltrator class to cover her escape with her daughter and her daughter's 'brother' -- check.

Spirit her daughter, and that ridiculous stallion away in the dead of night...

...

...

Not check...

What was she thinking? What was going through her head when she decided to jail her own daughter? In a cage? What gave her the idea that her own beloved daughter had been poisoned by pony imperfections? What even gave her such a ludicrous idea?

And, furthermore, why would she drag her daughter to the wedding the next day as some kind of trophy? Pure pride? Utter foolishness?

Why all the triumphs? Why did her daughter need to see the superiority of her own troops? Weren't her mares and stallions supposed to be feeding? Why did she have them making laps? Just because she felt superior? What came over her?

So naturally by the time that pesky Luna showed up unexpected, her troops were in utter disarray, exhausted from 'showing their superiority' by marching the parameter of Canterlot in decuple time.

She still had one chance though, she'd have to flee with the cage (a cage she, once again, had no idea why she decided to stick her own flesh and blood in.) The bad news?

"Flee my children!" The queen shouted, in panic, having beat one princess, but lost to another. Wasn't this supposed to be a distraction for her real plans?... Why did she even care whether she won or lost?... "At least I'll keep my prize!" She shouted, lifting the cage. "You have -- "

"Ouch!!!" A voice screeched loudly, as a clang could be heard against the ground, and two thumps were heard shortly after.

"Thou hast lost demon!!!" The 'princess of the night' exclaimed, as she and her disheveled army were sent catapulted into the heavens.

**********

The queen paced the floors, maybe something could have been done...

And maybe kidnapping her friend's sisters, and threatening 'bad things' if they didn't arrive, in three days didn't help, either. But she desperately needed a chance to talk some sense into her daughter, and the only way to do so while she was under Celestia's protection was to draw the dear away from that dangerous old tyrant.

And the Secretariat Comet supplied the perfect opportunity, providing only marginal boosts to pony magic, but unimaginable boosters to her own magic. She'd be able to subdue the dear, and drain enough of the love energy that she'd so that she could finally safely bring her back home.

But it didn't come out right... She threatened to steal her own daughters magic, and emotional energy -- a punishment normally used to rid the hive of unwanted nobles...

On her own daughter...

No... Instead of talking sense into her she attacked her, threatened her, betrayed her daughter's trust, and tried to 'convince her to join them' like some f-grade rheel villain.

And it didn't get better when it came to the crusaders... She looked like a mental case, threatening three small fillies, and proclaiming the end of Equestria... Consuming blood in their presence... She shivered in utter fear, they didn't even eat regular food, they ate emotional energy... What could possibly have been buzzing through her head?

And, to make matters worse, she didn't want to do any harm to Amaryllis' friends, or family. She simply wanted to do was drive a wedge between them so she could bring her daughter back, then she'd let them go... Honest... But it certainly didn't sound that way, at the time... Nor would it have looked that way from their viewpoint...

And so, her final chance slipped through her hooves...

Were the episodes just the result of stress, as her advisor's claimed, or a form of growing madness as the nobility conjectured... She didn't even know anymore...

**********

A few months later.

Bzzzt.... "And, like that..." A voice echoed in her head, did somepony with independent thoughts forget to shield them?

"The queen has no heirs!" The voice giddily boomed, it's voice steeped in it's own treason.

She awoke, with a start, and turned her head to her chamber doors. Could something have happened to Amaryllis? "Guards!!!" She shrieked, at the top of her lungs demanding the dullards' immediate presence. One would think that, with their hive mind that they would already know that she wanted them before she asked, but nonetheless...

And this had been steadily getting worse since the wedding, though it was most likely due to the incompetence of her brain dead minions. Of course it could always be pressure as her ladies in waiting had claimed, but...

"Where are my guards?" She howled, the dullards still not showing themselves. Where were they? Where was her daughter?

"My queen?" Squeaked the pathetic and cowardly tones of a so called stallion.

"Oh, " she purred back. "I'm glad you could make it out so quickly, " she said, sultry in the guard's ear.

"Of course, my queen, " he replied, stoically, his body rigid like a plank.

"Good!" She shouted, full volume in his ears. "And I could have been assassinated five times in the time it took for you to arrive!"

"We apologize, our queen, " he replied, the sweat dripping down his face. "But the prime minister has briefed us of an incident, and -- "

"And you treasonous dogs forgot to inform your queen?" She snarled, in the fool's ear.

"We are sorry, your majesty, but it involves your daughter, and --" He replied back, hesitantly.

"My daughter?" The queen asked, visibly shaking. "What... About... My... Daughter...?" She asked, putting her hoof on the guard's face. "I need to know!" She begged the stallion, her voice, for the first time, in years, sounding as vulnerable, as she felt.

"Shouldn't we wait for your prime --?" The stallion asked, being interrupted, mid sentence.

"Ho, no, " she replied. "I sensed treason in the hive, and it could be the guard who wishes not to inform their queen." She announced, opening the floodgates, to the hive mind, projecting images, of this traitor, in chains.

The guard shook his head vigorously. "No, majesty, I promise on my honor that, -- "

"Then... tell... me..." she said, pulling in again.

"But, majesty, your -- " The guard announced, his voice getting very shaky.

"Guard!" She shouted, turning to the other. "Take this traitor to the oubliette! While I decide an appropriate punishment for high treason.

"No please majesty!" He begged, halfway out the door.

"Oh?" She replied, 'curiously'. "You wish to talk to your queen?" She asked her guard, who nodded back. "Then... tell... me... what... happened?"

"Very well, " the guard responded. "At oh-twenty three and three quarters hours, your daughter, crown princess Amaryllis, vanished from the hive collective..."

"And the praetorian guard I assigned to her?" The queen replied, belligerently.

"Vanished as well, " the guard replied, hesitantly. "We can only assume the worst..." He said, covering his face with his hoof.

The queen just started laughing, riotously. "You mean to tell me that you fools not just lost my precious daughter, but also some of my best stallions?" She asked, wiping a tear from her eye.

The stallions started laughing along, with the queen, almost by instinct.

After a minute of riotous laughter, the queen opened her mouth again. "I don't find your joke funny..." She said, her face turning red. "So I'll give you one more try... What... Happened... To... My... Daughter.... Amaryllis...?"

The first stallion opened his mouth again. "I'm sorry my queen, " he said lowering his head. "But -- "

"NOO!!!!" She shouted, violently, her eyes flashing an odd green color as an unearthly shriek could be heard emanating from the queen's mouth, as it would seem that she'd just lost another foal.

She turned to the second guard. "Take this foal away!" She commanded, pointing to the first guard. "His eyes need to be corrected, in the oblette," she said, a toothy smile appearing. "Because, we both know that my daughter Amaryllis is very much alive!" She replied, sadistically.

"That won't be necessary, my good stallion," Chrysalis', Vladímir, brother commanded, coming in unannounced. "I'm sorry dear sister, " he said, putting a hoof on her wither, which was quickly flicked off. "But I could feel the bad news even before you did..." He said, putting his head to hers, only to pull it back, when she tried to bite at it. "Your daughter..." He said, his voice choking and cracking. "Is gone..."

"Quite, foal..." She replied, the tears starting to flow.

"But worry not, sister," he replied, ostentatiously. "Maybe we can talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about..." The queen replied back, barely containing the sobs.

"Maybe I can make you feel better?" Her brother replied back, softly.

"I don't need comfort," the queen hissed back, her eyes flashing green again. "Now begone all of you!"

The prince shook his sadly, putting one hoof on one of the guards withers as he motioned both towards the door. "It hurts my heart to see her this way," he said, sadly. "This is the third one she's lost already... Maybe she's just unlucky, or... infertile?"

And you know what was even worse? Not just had that Celestia murdered her third daughter, and her guards, but that she had, somehow, replaced the poor child with a ridiculous alicorn imposter. If only she'd been able to save the child when she wanted to the first time...

She really did feel like a failure of a mother...

**********

"All right, that should be enough!" The most senior guards, Kali, shouted, gesturing her hoof to the other three in the room. "We just want to drain out enough of the princess' love energy to break that ridiculous transformation, not rid the hive of the wayward princess," he shouted, pointing his crooked horn at the cocoon, firing off a volley of magic.

"Ok!" Shouted, Carduus, the next in line to the two other guards in attendance. "On three!" He shouted, powering up his horn.

"ONE!...." Carduus shouted, the other two powering up his horn.

"TWO!..." Carduus shouted, the most senior guard, Kali, powered her horn up again.

"THREE!...." Carduus shouted, firing off his horn, in unison with the other three guards.

The pod split open, and slowly vomited out a very slimy looking green pony -- who was now covered in an extra thick layer of green slime.

Yes... not just did the princess' transformation not break, but instead all it seemed to do was depress her, her normally bouncy mane lay flat against her body, her tail tangled and frayed.

The least senior of the three guards, Onopordum, gave a long and protracted gulp... "The princess didn't change back..." she said, shaking slightly, her nerves utterly shot. She turned her heads to the other three. "

"Well...." the last guard, Notobasis, said nervously. "Maybe... The queen made a mistake?" She asked, hesitantly.

The other three turned their heads to her, their faces covered with utter terror...

The queen didn't make mistakes... And even when she did nopony was stupid enough to say as such...

Kali gulped as she trotted over, and carefully touched her horn to the green pony's head, and fired off a changeling detection spell, hoping that it wouldn't spark...

It sparked...

What followed next was a cacophony of expletives coming simultaneously from all four guards.

"What are we going to do, lady Kali?" Notobasis asked, feeling a lot less emboldened. "The queen's not going to be happy?"

"Well..." Onopordum responded, frequently looking over his wither towards the exit. "Maybe... She transformed back..." He said, tapping his muzzle contemplatively with his hoof. "Incompletely?" He said, combing through her mane. "Maybe she has a horn... hidden... under all that hair?..." He asked, the combing growing ever more desperate.

"That tickles!" The green giggled, her attitude did a sudden one hundred and eighty degree turn.

"It's not here..." Onopordum responded, turning back to the other three.

"Maybe her wings are still there?" Carduus replied, desperately as he galloped across the room in a matter of seconds and started combing through the green pony's coat, searching for some traces of her wings.

When the eight ball returned 'outcome unlikely', Notobasis decided to join in, desperately checking all four of her legs for the signature holes that littered a changeling's legs.

"No dice..." She said, turning back to the senior of the four, Kali. "What are we going to do, my lady?"

Onopordum turned to his immediate superior, and gave a prolonged gulp. "Do you want to tell the queen, or should I?" He asked, hoping that the lady would take the heat instead.

"Rock... Paper.... Scissors...?" The senior praetorian guard said, nervously.

What followed next was a series of games of Odd Man Out, Evens and Odds, Janken, Rock Paper Scissors, and a series of other games, ultimately culminating in a 'unanimous' agreement that the second in command, Carduus should be the one to break the news.

**********

The queen snarled to herself, quietly. 'How long can it possibly take those dullards to release my daughter from that -- ' She thought to herself, her thoughts finally being interrupted by a soft tapping on her royal doors.

She gave a sadistic smirk as she paused, for a moment, before answering the door, sending a message to the lazy pony that had taken their sweet time to bring her, hopefully good, news on that warped monstrosity that was her first daughter.

And once she'd decided they'd waited long enough, she started to made a slow trot for the door. After another minute, they tapped again, this time more loudly. "Are you ok, my queen?" The stallion, at the other side of the door, asked anxiously, now showing, finally, proper fear and reverence for their queen.

"I'm on my way, " she replied filling her voice to overflowing with sweetness and honey, as she continued her slow trot.

"Very... well... my queen, " the stallion replied, his voice shaking noticeably, he was probably standing out there shaking like a leaf.

Finally when she had decided that he had suffered long enough, and hopefully learned his lesson, she slowly opened the door. "Sir..." she paused, mid sentence, pulling his name from the pudding-like aether that was the hive mind. "Carduus," she said, angry that this foal could hide the news of her from her, but not his continued fear. "Do you bring good tithings on my daughter, or are you foals unable to handle even the most mundane of tasks?"

The stallion stood at attention, though the queen suspected that if he could, he would be shifting his hoof around, anxiously.

"Well?" She purred in a sultry voice. "Are ya gunna tell me, or not?" She purred at the stallion, building up for the kill.

The stallion nodded silently.

"Well?" She asked, 'playfully'. "Cat got your tongue?"

"I'm sorry to inform you, my queen but, as we feared. Your first daughter, Larva, remains stuck in -- " The stallion started, getting only halfway through his speech before he was interrupted by the queen.

"That ludicrous form... " the queen hissed angrily, competing her guard's sentence, her eyes beginning to glow an odd shade of neon green.

"And we are unable to break her transformation, " he said, solemnly. "It's very possible that she can't be changed back to her --" he said, sweating as the queen looked ever more agitated at his words, until she finally interrupted him, sticking a hoof in his face.

"Take... that... back... " she hissed, her expression turning blood thirsty. "My daughter can, and will, change back!!" She said incredulously. "You foals simply aren't trying hard enough!!" She howled, this time forgetting to shield her thoughts. "I'm surrounded by utter incompetents!!!" She said, poking her hoof harder into her guard's muzzle. "Now go back and try again!!!"

"I'm sorry, my queen, " he replied solemnly, his full will turned to staying calm, and not panicking. "Our magic simply isn't able to break whatever spell, that was cast on her, that keeps her in that form, we're sorry..."

"You will be!" The queen replied, with an eerily sadistic tone. "You will be!" She repeated herself. The lady had to have foreseen this, she had done something sinister to her daughter, to save herself!

Carduus gave a protracted swallow.

"GUARDS!!!" She shouted, summoning a legion of guards to the room. "This pony is a traitor to the hive, and is to be taken to the dungeons while I decide an appropriate punishment for his crimes against me and my family!!"

"But... my queen!!!" The guard pleaded, halling on his withers. "We tried the best we could! Please --"

The queen gave an angry snort followed by a sadistic smile. "And who's fault is that?" She asked, 'nonchalantly', shrugging her withers. "maybe you should have thought of that before you committed high treason by committing your feeble assassination attempt against my daughter!" She announced her unguarded thoughts travelling through the hive like lightning.

"Please my queen! -- " Carduus futilely begged.

But the queen was uninterested, making instead like the queen of hearts. "TAKE HIM AWAY!!!!" She shouted for all to hear, her face a dark red color, her voice booming throughout the hive.

"But my queen?" Her captain of the guard announced nervously. "That was a member of the Praetorian guard, and a senior member of one of the noble families and -- " he pleaded, hoping the queen would see reason and follow the ancient laws of the hive.

The queen started laughing maniacally. "I see!" She shouted, holding the bridge of her nose with her hooves. "This is how wide the treason spreads!" She said, the laughter quickly dieing. "Then off to the dungeons with you too!!!" She shouted, holding her bridge, her eyes slowly returning to normal.

She turned her face to the other changelings in the room who stood around dumbfounded, their eyes wide open, and their mouths gaping wide. What's everypony standing around for?" She asked turning to the crowd of guards who quickly wheeled into action doing anything they could think of in a blur of cacophonous motion. Finally she turned her attention to one of her younger guards. "You..." she said, commandingly.

"Me?" The guard asked, fiving a long gulp, afraid that she would be joining the other two in prison.

"Yes you!" The queen said harshly, her patience growing thin again. "Take my beloved daughter back to her old room, if you could," she said with a smile.

"Yes my queen, " the guard replied, giving a quick salute and cantering out the door,

"Oh and Desert Grove," the queen said, with a smile, forcing the guard to wheel around in utter panic, " I hope you have more success the Carduus did!" She said, ominously. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to have a word with my aunt..." She announced as the guards finally cantered, and galloped their way back out the door.

**********

"So... Um..." Pinkie said, softly, turning to her friend/mother. "What are we going to do now?" She asked, with a frown. "I mean Mama Minty is a heck of a lot meaner than I expected her to be..." She said, looking down.

Rainbow held her head in her hooves. "I know, darling, and yet part of me isn't surprised," she said, the tears softly flowing down her cheek. "I'm truly sorry, Pinkie, darling... I never should have dragged -- "

A faint squeaking could be heard as a rather large, and rusty, door somewhere, in the distance, was forced open, and footsteps could be heard, ever more loudly, descending stone steps.

Eventually loud footsteps could be heard approaching as a male bug pony with scraggly blond hair could be seen approaching the cell door. The pony looked on, giving a sour expression, and bowed apologetically. "I'm terribly sorry about this, aunty, " he said, imitating those super valiant knights from the fairy tales that Pinkie liked to read. "I simply don't know what got into my sister," he said, with a frown. "I suspect she had another breakdown, though, " he said, with a sigh.

"She's been having a lot of those since her first foal disappeared, and they've just got worse as her bad luck has gotten worse," he said, motioning for one of the five guards that followed him to open the cell doors. "For some reason the poor dear seems cursed when it comes to her foals," he said, with a frown. "Very unfortunate, " he reiterated, shaking his head.

Rainbow stopped for a second. 'Foals? What is the darling?... Oh! Babies' She thought to herself, her confusion slowly lifting, and a frown replacing it. "Maybe I shall have to have a talk with the darling later, then," she said, her voice taking a serious tone.

"I suppose, " he said, sounding displeased... with something. Maybe his sister's misbehavior? "Well, would you please step back so that my stallions, here, can let you out, my dear aunt?"

Rainbow bowed, politely, and took a few steps back. "Of course, darling," she said, a graceful smile gracing her face.

"Excellent, " the charming prince said, as he pointed his be-holled hoof at the steel cage door. "Give my stallion's a minute and they can take care of those pesky bars for you, " he said, with a kind smile. "And then I can show you to your room," he said, making wild motions at the guards.

"Why thank you, darling," Rainbow replied, thankfully. "Chrysi seems to be in a very bad mood, today."

"Yes, I suppose, " he replied, as his stallions finished unlocking the door. "She has been acting awfully erratically recently," he replied, with a frown. as the door squeaked open.

"umm thanks, " Pinkie replied, her face turning an odd shade of red, as the stallion passed by.

"You are... welcome," he replied, suavely, with an enigmatic smile.

Though, for some reason, Rainbow could swear he was frowning.

"In any case, " he said, sternly. "Do you ladies mind if I show you to your new room?" He asked, giving them an ostentatious bow, his hoof gesturing up the stairs.

"Oh... Of course..." Pinkie replied, politely, her face turning an odd shade of red, again, as she waved her hoof against her face. She turned to Rainbow Dash, and whispered something, silently, in her ears. "Is it just me, Rainbow, or is something hot in here?"

Rainbow replied with a frown as the stallion walked ahead. "I'll take your word for it, darling," she whispered quietly in the pink pony's ear.

"So," prince Vladímir said, turning to face Rainbow Dash. "Aunty, " he said, curiously. "I've been wondering something, if you don't mind me asking?"

"And what's that, darling?" Rainbow asked, turning back.

"Well, I'm wondering if you're upset that your sister was made queen even though you were the older of the two?" He asked, as the slowly ascended the long winding stairway that led into the dungeons.

"To be honest, darling, " Rainbow replied, facing straight forward. "I can't say that I really care anymore, I just want to know why she went and attacked my home and my friends," she said, her face turning stern.

"I'm surprised," he replied, nonchalantly. "You don't care that you were passed over for somepony less qualified, simply because you weren't deemed as pure as you should have been, by the powers that be?"

Rainbow shrugged her withers. "I suppose so, darling, but actually -- "

He gave a stern frown. "Aunty?" He asked, coming to a dead stop, at the top of the stairs. "Are you going to let her walk all over you like that?" He asked, a fair amount of anger coming into his voice. "Did you notice how she mistreated you, her own aunt, and a hero of the hive?"

Rainbow shook her head.

"How she locked you in the dungeon, and threatened your life?" He continued, his displeasure becoming obvious, at this point.

"But darling, " Rainbow protested. "I'm sure she didn't wish to hurt us, she only wanted -- "

Vladimir shook his head, angrily. "I'm sorry aunty, but I think you've been in the dungeon too long! Your sister has treated you very poorly,... and not just you but all your friends as well, " he pointed out. "... Like Skywishes," he continued, gesturing for a couple of nearby drones, and a commoner. "Excuse me, gents."

Rainbow Dash froze in place, for a moment. how did --?

"Yes, your majesty?" The drones responded, mindlessly. "What is it that you require."

"Excellent," the prince responded back. "Do your duty and please escort the lady out of this dismal hallway, and back to her old chambers, please."

"Does not compute, majesty, " the drone responded back, mindlessly. "The queen has forbidden entry to that room as it's been purposed as a memorial for her second foal, princess -- "

The prince shook his head, in disapproval. "I'm sorry, aunty, " he said, sadly. "But this is the first I've heard of this!" He continued, shaking his head. "And I fear my sister never got over the death of her second foal, " he replied to his aunt, with a frown.

"I understand, darling, " the cyan earth pony replied back.

"I'll speak to my sister later, " he said, turning to the drones. "Now please escort the lady back to her room!" He exclaimed, forcefully. "It was hers, after all, " he replied sternly.

"But darling, I can simply use any -- " Rainbow Dash replied back, getting a hoof in front of her face.

"Silence!!!" He bellowed. "How dare you turn down my compassion, it was my sister's fault that her poor foal died, so -- " he shouted, his face blushing. "I apologize, aunty, but I wouldn't feel right allowing you to receive any more abuse from my misguided sister, " he said, his valiant smile returning, and Pinkie's face turning red again. "And I'm sure she'll understand once I have a moment to speak to her, ok?" He said, winking at the two mares.

"Are you sure, ... " Rainbow stopped for a second to recall the stallion's name. "Vladímir, because it sounds to me like -- ?"

The stallion shushed her with his hoof. "Trust me!" He said, putting on a very sincere face. "And don't ask any more because I won't take no for an answer, and I won't allow you to bear any additional load! You are our guest, after all," he replied, giving Pinkie a special wink.

"Ok!" Pinkie replied, giggling slightly.

"Very well, darling, " Rainbow replied. "Since Pinkie's game, but I will do so only under protest."

"Excellent!" He said, stamping his hoof against the floor. "I'm sure, once I explain things my sister, she will be more then happy to allow you and your, " he said, coughing slightly. "Sorry... The hive and it's dusty slimy floors..." He said, with a frown, his hoof against his muzzle. "Your bundle of joy, " he said, reiterating himself. "To occupy that dusty, depressing old chamber, " he said, with a smile. "Ok aunty?"

**********

"Are you sure it's going to be ok if Pinkie and I stay in this room, Vladímir darling?" Rainbow asked, morosely. "It looks like my niece took a great deal of care in making this room a memorial..." Rainbow said, giving a sour expression as she touched some kind of monument in the middle of the room with her front right hoof, and discovering, to her horror that it was covered in a thick layer of dust. " and -- "

As if to answer her question, a very perturbed Chrysalis came galloping, a murderous expression on her face.

"Would anypony care to tell their queen why this traitor is allowed into the third most important chamber in this entire hive?" She hissed, tossing daggers at the three drones that her brother had enlisted to move the G3 phonies into their ~~old~~ new chambers.

"Understood, our queen, " the drones repeated in unison. "But your brother -- " they said, mindlessly.

"I wish he'd stop meddling," the queen said, with a frown, turning to her brother, who shrugged nonchalantly.

"AND YOU!!!" The queen shouted, turning to her aunt. "What are you doing in my daughter's room?" The queen snorted, furiously. "How dare you soil my daughters room!" She shouted, getting in her aunt's face. "Do you seek to humiliate me any further, aunty, like you did to me as a foal?"

"I apologize, darling, " Rainbow replied, sadly. "Your brother had assured me that -- "

"Silence!" The queen shouted, stamping her hooves over and over. "How dare you mock your queen!" She demanded, sounding more like a spoiled child, then the queen of the changelings.

"I'm sorry, darling, " Rainbow replied, solemnly. "I understand your frustration, and I apologize for everything, " she asked, putting out her hoof in friendship. "And I wish to make it right!" She exclaimed, raising the hoof of friendship. "Sp, do you mind if we bury the --? "

"Silence! How dare you talk this way to the queen!" The queen howled, stamping her hooves. "GUARDS!!!" She shouted, partially deafening all the guards already in the room. "GUARDS!!!!" She shouted again, frustrated that the guards in attendance didn't move more quickly. "WHERE ARE YOU!!!" She shouted, again. Where were her legion of loyal guards? Where were her drones? Where were the praetorian guard?

"GUARDS!!" The queen shouted again, undeterred, once again stamping her hoof. "WHY WON'T YOU FOALS MOVE!!!!"

Rainbow held the bridge of her nose for a moment, her eyes shifting, and her expression growing cold. "Have you considered that you might be losing control over the hive, Chrysi?"

The queen gave an unearthly shriek, her eyes glowing an odd color. "Lose control of the hive! The queen?" She asked, about ready the strangle the cyan earth with her bare hooves.

~~Rainbow~~ gave an exasperated sigh. "Then explain why two drones were acting so undronishly, preferring your brother's orders to release me and to give me your daughter's room?" She asked, raising a hoof in an oddly normal gesture.

Chrysalis returned an odd expression. "Wha.. Wha... What do you mean? What other explanation is there?..." She said, stuttering up a storm. "It's just the nature of drone! You know, pony imperfections!..."

~~Rainbow~~ started laughing. "Do you really believe that Chrysi?" She asked, shaking her head. "You never have before!" She asked, her tone growing cold. "That seems to me like you're giving excuses!"

"Quiet!!!" The queen shouted, stamping and snorting. "I can throw you in the dungeon right now if I wanted?"

~~Rainbow~~ pinched the bridge of her nose, again. "Have you heard yourself talk, Chrysi? You don't sound like yourself, " the earth pony said, with a sigh. "And, by the by, did we ever have the drones acting up before?"

Chrysalis, gave a frustrated shrug, and looked away. When were these guards going to do their bucking job!

"I seem to not recall such a thing in my sister's lifetime, or my mother's, for that matter!" ~~Rainbow~~ continued, calmly.

"Well... Maybe you just didn't notice..." Chrysalis replied, not sounding terribly regal.

"I suppose that makes sense, " the earth pony replied sarcastically. "Though, I don't recall hearing of a drone referring to themselves as 'great and powerful' before," she said, nonchalantly. "Though, I could have just forgotten!"

"QUIET!!! Maybe you're memory's bad, you old nag!" The queen retorted. "I've had enough of this discussion."

"Ladies!" A male voice squeaked, futilely.

"Face it, Chrysi, " ~~Rainbow~~ restored back, her face growing red. "The commoners don't follow your instructions, nor do your drones!!!" She said, raising her front right hoof. "That can mean only one thing:..."

"Don't you dare go there!" The queen shouted, stamping and cursing.

"They don't know who their real queen it!" The cyan earth pony continued, calmly.

"Ladies!" The stallion begged again, standing between the two shouting mares, a sad expression on his face, his lips upturned at the edges.

"And here's another possibility aunty, and it's all so obvious in retrospect: " Chrysalis said, gnashing her fangs, her face turning a strange shade of red. "That's right, aunty!" She said, pointing an accusatory hoof at her aunt. "I've seen right through your act: you poisoned them against me!"

"Is that what you really think?" The cyan earth pony replied, shaking her head, sadly.

"After all, this didn't start until you came here!" The queen retorted. " -- "

"And 'the great and powerful changeling?'" The earth pony responded.

This time the queen didn't respond, instead continuing her rant. "And let's face it, my daughter finally shows back up after how many decades? Suddenly returning from the dead, " she said, her eyes watering slightly. "And what do we find? She's the size of a mare, with the body of a filly, and the mind of a foal!" She said, making like Pony Wright. "Just like you wanted it -- my fake changeling half drone aunt!" She shouted, accusatorially.

"Sister!" A male voice said more sternly.

"And isn't it all that more convenient? My drooling nutcase of a daughter who's an unfit to rule! A complete moron! How convenient!" She exclaimed, with a sarcastic smile. "How convenient for my scheming aunt who's been plotting to take over the hive since before I was born!"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Maybe, darling, maybe... I hate to agree with myself, but that seems a bit presumptuous, darling."

"Oh and look, you show up just after I lost one of my best mares, and my second best stallion!" The queen said, poking her hoof into her aunt's hide.

"Darling, do you honestly believe that I had something to do with it?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow.

The queen nodded her head, ostentatiously. "And how then do you explain the mysterious disappearance of my third daughter, Amaryllis? Coincidence 'darling'?" The queen asked.

Rainbow pointed her hoof at herself. "Me? Darling, that's absurd."

"I don't think so? How else do you explain a fully grown changeling disappearing from the hive mind, and it's sight?" the queen said, plainly, her eyes turning an almost neon green. "I bet you buried the body in the frozen north where I, " she said, sobbing violently. "Where I couldn't find her to bury her properly!"

"Darling!" Rainbow begged. "Listen to yourself!"

The queen held her hoof against the bridge of the of hose, messaging it fully. After a few moments, she tapped the side with of her head with that, her expression turning apologetic, though her words didn't seem to follow. "I apologize that you saw me that way... I suppose you brought the worse out in me..." she lied, feebly.

"Well I do!" Vladímir replied sternly. "It's obvious to us all that you lost control, my sister!" He said, getting in his sister's face. "All the pressure has finally gotten to you! Maybe it's time a more capable changeling took control! A more pure -- "

"Silence Vladímir!" ~~Rainbow~~, and the queen, shouted, in unison. "The adults are discussing important matters here!"

"But aunty!!" The stallion whined, his veneer chipping some. He stood there stuttering for a few moments. "She... mistreated you.... and accused you of murder!"

~~Rainbow~~ gave an exasperated sigh. "No buts, young stallion!!" She said, like a mother talking to her young foal. "I don't care if you were born first, or how 'pure' of a changeling you are!" She said, calming down some. "How can you possibly act as queen, if you are a stallion?"

"B -- " The stallion opened his mouth, the cyan mare sticking her hoof in front of it, shushing quietly.

"Darling," Rainbow said, calmly. "I'm sure your darling mother had a reason, " she said, giving the stallion a smile.

"But aunty!" The stallion protested. "It isn't fair!!! It's bias against males!!" He shouted, stamping his hooves. "I was passed up for a job which I was better qualified for, simply because I was male!!!" He shouted, stamping in circles. "It simply isn't fair!!!"

Both princesses turned to each other, speaking in unison. "Quiet Vladímir!"

"Look aunty!" The queen exclaimed, the queen's expression turned angry again. "I'm certain you had something to do with what happened to Larva, and once I prove it..." she said, wiping her neck with her hoof, and tapping her hoof on a nearby wooden table.

Rainbow returned a sorrowful expression. "Chrysi, darling! Listen to yourself talk!" She said sadly. "And we haven't even yet talked about my home, darling!"

The queen's eyes turned a neon green again. "Quiet! I'll fix what you did to my poor daughter yet!" She shouted, her eyes changing a bright neon color. "In fact some of my infiltrators have already found the perfect princess trainer for my daughter!"

Rainbow quirked her eyebrow. 'I wonder who that darling could possibly be?'

**********

Gilda sighed, holding her beak, with her paw. Why did she have to go back to Lame-estria, with all it's frauds, and phonies again?

Didn't they treat her poorly enough the last two times? Especially, her so called friend, the biggest lameo and flip flop of all? The one pony, who despite being her best friend, abandoned her, like her own parents did, for a bunch of losers... Losers who had just finished subjecting her to the biggest pig party of all time! And what was even worse? Her own best friend sided, with them, against her! After they attacked her, and made a fool of her, claiming that she, Gilda's friend, had posted all those 'pranks'.

No way Dash had anything to do with those lame pranks! Stinkie Pie probably set them up! So why was Dash defending her? Did Dash really care more about that pink menace, then her own friend?

Gilda shook her head. She didn't need these lameos! No way! She'd simply get this delivery done, and then be back on her way to Griffonstone. The delivery she was only making because her grandfather had demanded it. And that was only because some lameo pony spent an absolute buck ton of money buying a ludicrous amount of scones. But why would anygriffon want to buy one hundred eighty four thousand, seven hundred, sixty five, and a half scones? (especially when they had a nasty habit of snapping someone's beak, instead of filling them, when chewing on them -- and that was not to mention that her grandfather's scones were the best...)

Oh well! She didn't care of some lameo pony had a death wish, her grandfather's were the best, and the sooner she sold some scones, the sooner she could leave Griffonstone.

Oh did you think she didn't argue with Grandpa Gruff? No! She argued back fiercely, because there was no way she was going back anywhere near these lameos!

Of course, Grandpa Gruff had insisted! Because one hundred eighty four thousand, seven hundred, sixty five, and a half scones were a lot of scones, and the dope's bits would be more than enough to fund their operation for a whole year... and not just claw to beak like they normally ran the operation... no! Really fund their operation. (what a total dweeb! Why would anygriffon, or anypony for that matter, want that many scones, and why all at once? But, then again, maybe it was better not to ask too many questions... )

She shrugged now that her temper had cooled some, their taste may be questionable, but their money was definitely still good! And who knows, maybe she would have some bits left to get something nice for herself while she was in dumb-questria!

Oh... and it didn't hurt that the argument had, kind of, got out of hand, and resulted in the old griffon throwing her out for a couple of days. Something about "no refunds!" It would be funny, if it weren't so aggravating! What a complete joke her grandfather could be some days! (Especially when he was having one of his rants, all of which she was forced to pay for...) Oh well! If she was to ever get out of the dump that was her home then she'd need to sell sell sell.

She took another look at the map. Apparently her destination wasn't too far from home, just to the northwest of some dump called 'Manehattan'.

Except... it looked like this place might even be a bigger dump... I mean, who puts their town in the middle of the mountains, in the frozen north? (heck they didn't even have snow up here) How do these lame ponies even eat? And how did their utter stupidity not lead to an early demise? Oh well... 'Remember Gilda... Give the lame ponies their lame scones and then get back to Griffonstone...' She thought to herself, making a lap from above.

Maybe she should leave? These place looks like a total dump, and --

"Welcome!" Stated a pretty stupid looking dark grey pegasus with a snow white mane, an equals sign for a cutie mark, and a bizarre, mindless smile -- the smile was the absolute worst part.

"Well! Thanks for sending out the welcome mat..." Stated the griffon dryly, putting a claw in front of the pony's face. "Now -- "

"Welcome!" Stated a brown pegasus stallion with a dark brown mane, and an equals sign for a cutie mark.

"Welcome!" Parroted Gilda, in a mocking tone. "Now -- "

"Wel -- " Started stating a second pegasus stallion, with a peach coat, and a two color green and light green mane, also with an equals sign for a cutie mark -- weren't these lameo ponies supposed to all have different marks?

"Whatever!" The griffon stated angrily, sticking a paw in the mind numbed pony's muzzle. "I get it! I'M WELCOME!!!" She stated angrily, on the verge of giving one of these bozos a good whack.

"Welcome!" Repeated, the brown pegasus, his creepy smile unchanged.

"You better stop saying that or -- "

"You must be the visitor from Griffonstone, " the brown pegasus stated, plainly.

"No duh Fetlock!" The griffon replied, angrily. "Now why don't you show me to the bozo that bought -- "

"Please come in!" The peach pegasus stated, over the griffon. "Our founder is expecting you!" He said, speaking through his eerie smile.

Ok... maybe living in exile away from her grandfather, in a cardboard box wasn't so bad? Did she really want to spend any more time with these weirdos then she absolutely had to? NO!! She couldn't allow herself to be spooked by a bunch of goofs! She just had to finish this delivery, so hopefully sometime soon she could go live somewhere that didn't suck! "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" She said already bored of these kooks. "Show me to the old bat already!" She barked, angrily.

"Oh dear!" Exclaimed the dark grey pegasus mare with the snow white mane. "Somepony sounds awfully touchy!" She exclaimed, her bizarre smile still glued to her face. "In our little town --"

"Right... Right..." Gilda replied, dismissively, waving with her hoof towards the biggest losers that pony kind had ever burped out before. "Now can I get rid of these scones and be on my way?" She asked, grabbing the dark grey pegasus mare's neck in her paw, and holding her up slightly -- a definitive challenge while one was flying...

"She'll be very happy to see you!" The dark grey mare continued, Gilda's paw still firmly attached to her neck. "But I must warn you!" She wheezed "But nopony that has ever visited our -- "

"Blah! Blah! Blah!" Gilda false talking with her claw, releasing the pegasus, whose smile didn't seem tarnished in the least. "Scones!" She exclaimed, pointing her tail at the, rather large, batch of supplies she was lugging around.

"Of of course!" The brown pegasus stallion replied, eagerly. "But our founder won't be able to accept the delivery until tomorrow morning." He said, creepy smile still glued to his face (were these weirdo ponies possessed by aliens or something?) "But until then please enjoy our happy little town!"

"Oh goodie!" She replied, waving her paws jazzhands style. "Why can't you lameos simply just take the stupid scones and? -- " She shrieked, roaring in the brown pegasus' face.

"Oh no!" The brown pegasus replied, waving her hooves like a scolding parent. "That would require taking initiative, and that only leads to -- "

"Ok! Ok!" She replied, holding the bridge of her beak. "I'll stay the night! Now JUST SHUT UP!!!" She shouted in the pony's face.

"Excellent!" Replied the peach pegasus stallion. "But, of course, you'll first have to hear our song: come out everypony!" He shouted, dragging out a mob of brain dead zombponies.

"Ohhh!!!!" He shouted, starting the praise of nonsense. "Life is so grand in Our Town -- "

"SHUT UP!!!!" The griffon shouted, angrily. Causing all the ponies to pause.

The three pegasus ponies looked at each other, a look of terror in their eyes, but only for a second.

"Maybe she needs to see the light?" The grey pegasus mare said, to the other two. "Maybe she needs to lose her cutie mark, and be branded by equality, and -- "

"Don't have one." Gilda said, crossing her paws, her tail pointing at her blank flank (she was a griffon, not a lame pony -- after all)

"Oh..." The brown pegasus said, turning to the other two, his smile actually cracking... Maybe they should speak to their founder? But she said not to be disturbed, only that the griffon was to be escorted to her house.

That night...

The griffon beat her head against a wall. How long was she supposed wait in creepsville? And how many more of those goofy smiles could she handle? She meant that ponies were lame and boring, but these lameos took lame to a whole new level of lameness. And how come these dumb 'founder' could be bothered to pay her dumb bits, and accept her scones? "So why can't I drop off these stupid scones already?" She asked, angrily turning to this town's 'founder'.

"Oh patience!" The 'founder' had said, finally dragging herself in, well after dark, with that same nutty smile apparently on her face. "You'll understand in due time!" She remarked, with a wave of her hoof. Did something about her smile seem almost sneaky? Gilda didn't like sneaky!

"Blah! Blah! Blah!" She said, fake talking with her claw. "And if this about that cutie mark nonsense that your kookie friends keep going on about!" She said, pointing with her claw at her blank bird flank "See no cutie mark, " she exclaimed, pausing for a second. "griffon!" She said, waving her claw over her body. "Now can I Please? -- "

"Oh no!" Starlight Glimmer said, her eyes going wide for a second. "We can't just let you go yet, -- "

The griffon quirked her eyebrow in confusion. "And. for another thing, I thought you lameos did your own baking 'cause outside goods bring superiority and junk..." She said, parroting the nonsense these dumb ponies spouted.

"Don't judge me!" Starlight Glimmer shouted, in a nervous monotone, her smile completely shattering, as drops of sweat streamed down her brow. "I mean to say -- " she grunted out, her cadance barely returning.

"Whatever!" Gilda replied, rolling her eyes, as the Pink goof left. Grandpa Gruff was right -- she needed to watch that temper (especially if she was going to make sales and get out of that dump she lived in.) It wasn't like...

Wait? Was there something actually vibrant passing through this grey and lifeless dump? (Heck! Even the ponies here were grey and lifeless.)

Wait? Could it be? What would she be doing here?

She shook her head, and rubbed her eyes. It couldn't be! Could it?

The pony passed by again, conversing with somepony, the bright colors in her mane still visible -- even in the dark.

It had to be! She'd recognize that traitor's rainbow mane anywhere!

Wait... Wait... Wait... She had to be imagining things! Dash would never --

"And you know what's even better Pinkie?" That traitor Dash, boisterously boasted to Stinkie Pie. "We sure put one over on dumb old G!" She said, making sure to shake her flank ostentatiously when she said the word 'G', her voice taking a mocking tone.

"Yeah!" Pinkie said, giddy as a schoolgirl. "Now she's stuck in equals-ville!" She said, bouncing around, eagerly. "And you know what's even better?" She asked, turning to Dash.

"What's that Pinkie?" Dash asked, her eyes positively wet with tears, as she rolled around in raucous laughter.

"She'll never get out of here!" She said, positively floating in laughter. "All those 'super fun', goofy cultists won't ever let her leave!" Pinkie exclaimed, her body being propelled up and down with all of her laughter.

"I knew it!!!" Gilda shouted, the tears of anger and beginning to stream down her face and beak. "It was Stinkie Pie!"

"It's almost as funny as that super fun pig party I came up with!" Pinkie exclaimed, to that traitor Dash, who just nodded along, so full of herself -- just like in flight school.

"Yeah!" Dash said, the tears of laughter still flowing, as she gasped for breath. "You should have seen G's face when all those pranks blew up in her face!" She giggled, the tears now flowing freely. "Priceless!!!"

"Oh yeah!" Pinkie exclaimed, in agreement. "She looked like a total joke!"

"Yeah! I know right!" Dash said, finally standing back up. "I practically laughed my hooves off! Especially when she lost her cool and made her look like the total dweeb WE ALL KNOW SHE IS!" She exclaimed, extra loudly.

"So much for my 'friend' Dash!" Gilda cried, her face turning a dark red, her face filled with outrage. "How dare she do this do me!" She hissed.

"Are you looking out the window?" Starlight Glimmer asked, curiously, as she returned to the room. "You know that this seems like you are -- "

"Shut up!" Gilda shouted, pushing past the pink unicorn, knocking her over. "I have to speak with Dash!" She shrieked, smashing the door off it's hinges behind her.

"Hey Dash!" Gilda shouted, flying out the door, and stopping inches in front of the cyan pegasus. "I wanna have a word with you!"

"Ahh Gilda!" Rainbow replied, incredulously. "You came here to finally apologize, to Pinkie here, for being such a jerk to her?" Rainbow demanded, nodding her head, seriously, her arms crossed, as she hovered in place.

"How dare you!" Gilda snarled. "She made a fool of me!" She growled, getting in the pegasus face, the tears beginning to stream down her face. "You two were busy boasting just now -- "

"Yeah!" Pinkie said, putting a hoof around Dash's wither. "What a meanie mean meanie!" She continued, beginning snicker. "Didn't you like my super fun party, and all my great pranks!" She exclaimed, with a wink.

Both the cyan pegasus, and the pink earth pony began to simultaneously point at the 'rube' of a griffon, pointing and laughing.

"THAT'S IT!!!" Gilda shouted, her temper finally completely breaking. "FRIEND OR NOT!!!" She shouted, charging Dash, at full speed, knocking her over. "IT'S TIME SOMEGRIFFON KNOCKED SENSE INTO YOU YOU DWEEB!" She shouted, going in for the pounce, her claws, both front and back, knocking the cyan pegasus out of the air, and pinning the pony down, against the ground.

She raised her paw to strike.

"Oh really?" Dash asked, a smirk growing on her face. "I thought you wouldn't hurt your friend 'Dash'?" She asked, her eyes beginning to glow a bizarre green color as the griffon suddenly found herself completely frozen in place, utterly drained, and barely able to talk.

"W... Wh... What... Did... You... Did you... Do to me Dash?" She gagged, the words barely squeezing out of her mouth.

"Not much..." 'Dash' said, with a shrug, as she began to be engulfed in green light, before finally revealing her true nature: a utterly bald (both mane and tail) changeling colt, with a slight green tint in his black chitin. "Just a very simple spell to binds a pony's magic," he said, with a smirk. "Any questions?"

"But... I.. ain't... no... lameo... pony...." Gilda wheezed, finding her body doing little more then shaking.

"Maybe so." 'Pinkie' purred, as the dark green magic began to spiral around her, causing her to reveal her true nature. "But my magics are still quite effective," the oddly feline changeling stated, pushing the griffon to the ground. "And without your magic, griffon, " she said, licking her lips. "Movement might be a bit difficult," she purred, leaning down to speak into the griffon's ear. "If not impossible!" She lamented, sarcastically. "Too bad Solanaceae can only cast this particular spell from a very short range," she said, shrugging her withers.

"Wh... Why don't you say that to my face?" The griffon grunted, defiantly.

"Oh hoh!" Solanaceae said, with a catty chuckle. "A sassy one!" He said, his cheeks actually blushing slightly. "And so many questions." He said, putting his hoof on the bottom of her beak. "You actually want my answer?" He asked, his voice getting extra kind.

She spit on his hoof, being unable, still, very much, unable to move.

Solanaceae frowned, slightly, as he quickly withdrew his hoof. "Shame..." He said, his nostrils flaring. "So suffice it to say: we needed to get you somewhere where nopony would miss you, so that we could test you to see if this would work, and you could be convinced to join our ranks!" He said, holding up a very girly necklace, with a blank circle for the symbol.

"B... B... But... But I ain't no girly pony..." She grunted, angrily.

"Doesn't matter to me," he replied, with a shrug. "Maybe your mind will change when you wear this.

"B... But... I... I... Ain't wearin'... no girly..." She groaned, trying, futilely, to struggle away from the girly jewelry.

"No choice, my ppprrrraaayyyyy!!!" The feline changeling, purred, stroking the griffon's head with her hoof. "Now wear the tacky jewelry like a good little birrrrrrdie!" She purred, walking back over to her boss. "It'll all be over quickly," she chuckled, grabbing the necklace from her boss, and approaching again.

For once, the griffon's face distorted in mortal terror, her breathing increased, as she struggled futilely. "N... No!!! St... St... Stay away you dweebs!" She squawked, like a chicken.

"Dweebs?" Solanaceae asked, in hysterical laughter, his eyes beginning to get wet. "That's a laugh!" He said, tapping his hoof on the ground. "Besides, Belladonna's associate Starlight Glimmer was more then happy to devote her resources to helping in the search for ultimate equality..." He sneered.

"Why... Why.... Why you!!!" The griffon grunted, struggling to even move her head, and neck, as the feline-changeling assassin slipped the necklace around her neck, clasping the clasp.

"The equality of the rule of the changeling king!" Solanaceae announced, raising his hoof to the skies.

"No! No! No!" The griffon shrieked, her eyes glowing a morbid dark color. "ARRRRGH!!!!" She shouted, in utter pain, as lightning rained down from above on the griffon, blanketing the whole village in a bright light.

As the light began to clear, the griffon remained.

"Excellent, " Solanaceae announced, proudly. "Number four!" He said, shaking his associate's hoof (though she was more reluctant to.) "Only two more!" He said, turning to the griffon, who slowly started to stir. "So how are you feeling Gilda?" The lead assassin asked.

"Hrrrummmppph....." The griffon replied, turning away. "Why don't you show me that boss of yours already..." She said, sounding bored. "Talking to you two bozos is a waste of my time..."

**********

"AHHHHH!" Discord exclaimed, giving an unearthly shriek as he took a good stretch. "What a beautiful day... " he announced, turning to face the camera. "For chaos!" He said, causing an explosion of nonsense behind him as a deck of a thousand cards exploding behind him, followed by some squab roasts, and the Trix Rabbit -- who was quickly stuffed into a giant hat. "Silly rabbit: crossovers are for the Donald!" The draconequus announced, chastising the rabbit.

He took a step ahead. "Maybe I should do that whole 'blue flu' scam again, and -- " He said to himself, with a chuckle, finding himself, suddenly face to face with Princess Twilight.

The draconequus gulped nervously, grasping at he collar that was suddenly on his neck. "Umm..." he exclaimed giving an exaggerated gulp. "I mean... Been there long Twilight?" He asked, 'smoothly', suddenly dressed as a greaser. "I mean: 'B'!" He said, pointing his talan at Twilight, a pair of sunglasses sitting, loosely, on his face.

Twilight messaged her bridge with her hoof, with her hoof, seemingly unaware of the 'blue flu scam'. "Discord," she announced sternly. "We need to talk!"

"About what, Twilight, my second bestest buddy?" He asked sleeping comfortably on a cloud. "Do you need something to drink?" He asked, poofing up a nice fru fru drink.

"Comfy?" He asked, puffing an oversized pillow, that suddenly sat under Twilight, who was suddenly reclined in a very large easy chair.

"Actually, Discord -- " Twilight stated, being suddenly interrupted by an angry pink blur.

"Discord!" Shouted the pink pony in a demonic voice, the flames of hades, which appeared from seemingly nowhere, burning behind her head.

"You can't prove that I broke that pinkie promise! It could have been any beautiful six foot tall hunk of a draconequus..." Discord protested futilely, interrupting the pink blur, who now floated inches from his head.

"Okey dokey lokey!" The pink pony announced, bouncing away about three feet before stopping in mid aid, an absolutely befuddled expression on her face.

"And you!" He shouted 'angrily', the sounds of clown noses squeaking as he turned to Twilight. "Aren't you supposed to be training that little pink ~~menace~~ alicorn in magic today?"

"Actually she's up in Canterlot, today, with her mother, Cheerilee," Twilight responded nonchalantly. "Celestia says she needs them for the day, for some reason.

"Twilight Time?" He responded back, a sad trombone playing behind him.

"No, that's tuesdays, thursdays, and every second friday!" Twilight responded clinically.

"Well nice to talk to you, then!" Discord said calmly, as he stepped into his shriner car. "We'll -- "

"Hold it right there, buster!" Twilight shouted, grabbing him in her magic. " -- "

"Yeah!" Pinkie shouted, the flames, just now, being put out by a squad of brave firefighters. "I have a beef with you!" She announced, her tone still slightly demonic. "Some pony named Sweetberry suddenly showed up yesterday, and promptly ran the cakes out of Sugarcube Corner boasting at how 'supreme' her baking was!"

"And what does this have to with me?" The draconequus said, sweating bullets. "Remember that lesson about 'jumping to hasty conclusions' -- "

"Actually, " Twilight replied, tapping her muzzle with her hoof. "I think you are thinking of the lesson -- "

"And if that wasn't bad enough!!" Pinkie moaned, sounding even more upset.

"It gets worse ?" Asked the draconequus, sweating literal bullets.

"Uh huh!" Pinkie squeaked cheerfully... She stopped for a moment. "I mean... grrrr....!" She exclaimed, remembering that she was angry. "And then some pony named Cotton Candy showed up, and bored all the cakes' customers to death with her endless babbling... I mean, can you imagine a pony that just won't stop talking, going on, and on, and -- "

"I can't imagine, " Discord replied, snapping his finger, causing a large metal mask to materialize over the pink pony's face, muffling her continuing banter. "I'll simply have to go down, and have a word with the mayor!" He stated, angry, turning around to walk away, only to find that his path was blocked by the pink monster.

"And you know what's even worse?" Pinkie asked, the mask, suddenly, nowhere in sight (Rats!)

"Oh?" Discord replied, 'nonchalantly'.

"Yeah!" Pinkie replied, bouncing around the draconequus. "And some pony named Razzaroo suddenly showed up, and stealing all my pony birthday celebrations!" She announced, with a snarl. "And not to mention my new pony greetings! And I've had it!"

"Fascinating, " replied 'Spock-cord'. "Perhaps it's some kind of an interstellar entity, I shall endeavor to speak with the mayor, about this phenomenon!" He said, pulling a bar of soap out of a pocket that materialized out of thin air. "Geordi beam -- " he said, pausing between each word.

"Hold it buster!" Twilight said, trapping him in a magic bubble. "And you know what's even weirder, " she stated, putting her head against the bubble. "They all have weird muzzles... Just like Rarity, Cheerilee, that other Rainbow Dash, and that other Pinkie, " she sneered, looking directly in Discord's face. "I... wonder... how.. that... could be?"

Discord gave a silent gulp, he knew where this was going. "And that, dear Twilight, is an excellent question, " he said, in a gravelly voice. "But, I'm not sure how you are defining the word 'have', I should go back to my advisors, and have them write a carefully written statement delving further into your definition of 'to be', " he said, walking off again.

"Well, it seems to me that you are avoiding the question, Discord, " Rarity said, pulling the monster with her magic. "And I simply think that you are acting very suspiciously," she continued, formally. "And, though, I know that we should trust you as a friend, I think you aren't being completely honest with us, dear, " Rarity said, with a frown.

"Well.. that is to say..." The draconequus said, dodging the question, did he have to tell them now?

"And I need to know why some odd earth pony named Daffidazey has decided to invade my shop, and is giving everypony the most absurd hair cuts, it's like the poor dear is nearsighted!" Rarity stated, calmly, tilting her head delicately, as she spoke.

"Well..." the draconequus studered, talking in slow motion. "You... see... I?" He said, a wind up key on his back running down.

"Umm..." Fluttershy interjected, having just trotted up. "Guys..." She squeaked quietly.

"Look, Discord, " Twilight said, with a frown. "I learned something from Rainbow when I was trying to help her, and I think you know more then you are saying, " she said, loudly. "Remember! It's not healthy to keep secrets from your friends."

"Can I ask you a question?... if it's not too much trouble..." Fluttershy squeaked, cowering in herself.

"Oh wait..." Discord said, holding an old fashioned audio horn to his ear, putting the thin end of the device in Fluttershy's mouth. "I think Fluttershy's trying to talk to us," he said, getting into a 'listening positon'.

"What is it, Fluttershy?" Twilight asked, just now noticing the butternut pegasus.

"Yes, Fluttershy, " Rarity said, encouraging her friend. "What is the matter, darling?"

"Well, I was trying to let angel have some sun, but that weird pony from a couple weeks ago is back, and she's kind of tanning herself in Angel's favorite spot, " she said, uncomfortably. "Sorry..." she apologized, turning away, only to have a rabbit kick at her leg. "And I was hoping you can ask her to leave... If it's not too much trouble..." she said, putting her hoof to her head. "What was her name again?" She said, pausing to think. "Sunny... Sun... " She said, searching for the name. "Sun--"

"Why 'Sun-day Funday', of course!" The draconequus said, trying to change the topic of conversation again.

"No that wasn't it," Fluttershy said, contemplatively, her rabbit making elaborate motions. "No! That's right, her name was 'Sunny Daze'."

"Twilight's face grew pale, she'd heard that name before already, " she turned to the draconequus again. "Would you care to explain?"

"Well... I... Um..." Discord replied, his claw pulling out his 'collar', as he spoke. "That is to say..."

"DISCORD!?" All five ponies asked at once.

"Fine..." the draconequus said, feeling defeated. "Let me start from the beginning..."

**********

"And you think you can train princess larva in the proper behavior of a princess?" The queen asked the blue drake, as she sat on the great stone throne, the original throne of queen Flutterheart -- the first changeling queen.

"Worry not, fair queen, " the blue drake said, with a humble bow, making the queen want to vomit... what a stuck up, arrogant... "For I am an expert at training princesses, " he said, dragging a large green book with a purple tiara, and a blue wand with a purple star on it, a book which was almost as large as the drake himself. "And my princess book will teach the princess the specifics of a princessy life, " he asserted, giving the queen another bow.

'And this is the princess trainer my infiltrators located?' The queen thought, rolling her eyes. "So tell me, Kenbroth, why did you leave the protection of those wretched ponies, and their absurd 'Crystal Empire'?"

"Why because I heard that there was a princess in desperate need of princess training, " he said, with a chuckle. "Besides... The prince I was training finally decided to take lesson number four thousand seven hundred sixty five to heart..." he admitted, remembering the scene all ready.

Earlier...

"Prince! Prince! Prince!" The drake said, shaking his claw. "What are you doing?" He asked, staring down at the prince below.

"Spike!" The prince shouted, in frustration. "What in the hay are you doing in my bathroom?" He growled, quickly covering himself up. "I'm taking a bath!"

The drake shook his head. "Prince... Prince... Prince... Rule seventy four: a prince is always busy, except when he's obtaining favors..."

Shining shook his head. "And rule seven of Shining Armor's rules: A clean husband makes for a happy wife, now please come back later, " he begged the drake, his voice cracking slightly.

The drake shook his claw. "Tut! Tut! Tut! Prince, overbathing will throw off your humors, " he said, with a sigh.

"And not bathing enough will ensure I sleep on the couch, " the prince responded back, in protest. "Now get out! I need a break!"

"A break!" The drake huffed. "There's no time for that, my prince, we have many things to get done today, and -- "

"Spike! " he said, massaging his bridge. "Could you please leave, I don't need you to be a helicopter 'mentor', and I'm starting to lose my temper, and I really need a moment, and -- "

Healthspike shook his head. "Temper, temper, prince! And you simply must consider your health, and -- "

"EXCUSE ME, GUARDS!" The prince asked, shouting in exasperation. to the guard by his door. "CAN YOU PLEASE ESCORT HEATHSPIKE BACK TO HIS ROOM?" He shouted, sternly. "I'LL SPEAK TO HIM AFTER I'VE HAD A CHANCE TO COOL DOWN!" He shouted, taking slow breaths. 'Remember, Shining, yelling at Heathspike isn't good, no matter how crazy he's driving you.'

"Very well, " a platoon of purple crystal pegasus guards, their elaborate semi transparent crystal armor shining beautifully as they spoke, in unison, nodding their heads. "Please master Heathspike, let's return to your room."

"Splendid!" The blue monster said. "We seem to be making excellent progress here!" He sound, proudly. "I might even say that we are on the verge of a breakthrough!"

The prince gave a sigh. "Please keep Heathspike out of my private quarters until Cadance can return, please, " the prince sighed.

"Oh! So commanding!" The drake shouted, enthusiastically. "My work here is all but done, " he said, proudly, as the guards ushered him back down the hall. "But whom shall I train next?" He asked, deciding his next venture, it was too early for him to go back to sleep!

"Hey Master Kenborth Gilspotten Heathspike, " one of the guards whispered, in his ear, "I might have the perfect pony for you to train, and she's already so anxious to meet you," the guard responded, with a mischievous smile.

"Oh!" The dragon replied, feeling quite intrigued. "Do say?"

Back in the present...

The queen gave a sigh. "Are you sure, that you are a princess trainor, Sir Heathspike?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow,.

"Of course, " the drake said, bowing slightly. "Or it is not I, Kenbroth Gilspotten Heathspike, who am at your service!"

The changeling queen rolled her eyes. "And tell me, drake, what makes me think you can train my daughter in being a proper changeling princess?" She asked, curiously, having just lost a fifth princess trainor to her first daughter, and on the verge of losing a sixth.

"Why it's simple, my queen, " the drake replied, formally. "For one thing, " he said, holding out a claw. "I descend from a long line of royal dragons."

The queen quirked her eyebrow, that was an interesting thing to hear, the dragons usually lived in hordes, instead of kingdoms, and the Kahgen, certainly, never risked their young, like this.

"And secondly, I have taken on a dozens of students before over my thousand year life, " he stated, his pointer talon pulling on the second talon in his left claw.

On the other hand, if he, really, had experience, learning at a dragon's hooves might be useful in making a true predator out of her squishy green daughter.

"And thirdly, I have this: " he said, holding up an oversized green book with a rather tacky looking tiara, and a wand that looked like something out of a cheap fashion show. "It's my princess book," he said, proudly. "And it has all the rules we need to make a proper princess out of her."

And it could be said that, in that day, the sound of a pin dropping could be heard miles away from the hive, as everypony stood around with their mouths gaping open.

"Are you certain about him being a princess trainor?" The queen asked, turning to her infiltrator, who only buzzed his wings.

"Well, " the drake said, cheerfully, interrupting the queen's discussion, before her infiltrator could respond. "I've simply adored this tetatet, but when am I going to meet the dear?"

The queen broke out laughing. Was somepony messing with her? She asked herself, her face turning red, because this joke wasn't funny!

"Very well, " she said, showing one of her fangs. "Oh guards, would you please meet me in the princess' room?"

The guards nodded dutifully, their faces smirking almost imperceptibly.

After a few minutes the blue drake was ~~dragged~~ ushered into a rather plain chamber, which was surprisingly slime free, for a changeling hole.

The room was light, as many of the nobles chambers were, by candlelight. Inside lay of series of tacky floats, made out of very sorry looking flowers that had, presumably, been scrounged up from the area surrounding the badlands, though, one had to ask, how they found them in the middle of February, or whatever it was they called it in Equestria.

The queen gave herself a face hoof, and opened her mouth to speak, but the drake responded first. "Why Minty, " the drake said, with bemusement. "What are you doing here?" He asked curiously. "Shouldn't you be back in Ponyville?" He asked, walking up to the mint green pony, and doing laps around her.

The mint pony gave a goofy giggle, presumably out of embarrassment.

"And a better question, is -- " the green pony's mother asked, as calmly as she was able. "What in the hay is this c... stuff...?" She asked, her beet red face smiling uncomfortably.

"Why it's for this year's very special 'Princess promenade' of course!" The green pony replied, with a hearty chuckle. "Duh!"

The queen looked at her guards, a look of utter befuddlement on her face.

The guards raised his right front hoof, shrugging it nonchalantly.

"And what does that mean?" The princess' advisor asked, returning from a short date with a bottle of the hardest cider he could get his hooves on.

"You know, 'The Princess Promenade'!" She replied, eagerly, waiting for a sea of agreement.

After a few moments, she continued, looking a lot more serious. "You know?" She asked, receiving instead a sea of head shaking. "It used to be The Spring Promenade, until Spike showed up, and made Wysteria a princess, and then we turned it into the Princess Promenade, " she said, with a chuckle.

"Spike huh?" The queen said, turning her eire to the drake. "Tell me more?"

"Well, " the green pony said, taking a long breath. "First we make floats, and then we decorate the castle, ... " she said, explaining the event, in gory details to ponies that were no longer listening.

"And why are my guards dressed in these ridiculous outfits?" The queen asked, noticing the tacky dresses that her guards were now wearing.

"Yes, quite princess, " the old changeling stallion, who had been training the princess asked. "And these tacky floats?"

"Well, " the green pony said, taking a breath. "Because it's the Princess Promenade and that means... " She continued, breaking into song.

"Hip hip hurray! Today's the day! The day that everyone's a princess!" The green earth pony sang, pointing to one of the guards, and bringing the changeling mare forward. "Come forward princess changeling guard number 7!" She said, motioning the guard up.

"Well I always wanted to be a princess!" The guard chirped.

"Come up princess changeling guard number 5!" She shouted, summoning a, rather large, stallion guard forward, who was still dressed in full body armor.

The queen stood there, utterly paralyzed, probably coming up with a good way to punish the princess' current 'princess trainor'!

"Come forward changeling guard number 3!" She announced, motioning another changeling up.

"Me?" The mare asked, pointing at her upper barrel, with her hoof.
"And you can be a princess too!" She shouted, motioning off towards an invisible audience behind the fourth wall.

"NOOOO!!!!" The queen shouted, her face growing a ghostly white, her mane and tail standing on end. "You can't be a princess!" She shouted, at the first guard.

"Ahhh...." The guard moaned.

"And you can't be a princess!" She shouted, at the top of her lungs to the second guard.

"Meh..." The stallion said, nonchalantly. "I'm ok with that! I'd be kind of uncomfortable as a 'princess'."

"And you can't be a princess!" The queen shouted, to the third guard, who looked down, sadly.

"And none of you can be princesses either!" She shouted, motioning over the fourth wall. "The only ones who can be princesses -- " She said, angrily, being interrupted by the blue drake, who was wagging his talon around.

"Or princes!" He stated, calmly.

"Ok..." The queen snarled back. "Princesses and princes, are me and my children!"

"But Mama Minty!" The green pony protested. "That's not a very fun arrangement!"

The queen gave a belated sigh, she had to be patient with her daughter, after all, her wicked aunt had had years to warp and melt the poor dear's brain into a steaming cesspool of nonsense. It wouldn't be something that could be fixed in an instant.

She turned to the princess' trainor. "You are dismissed Wisdom Tree, " she said, turning to the tutor, that had apparently already sped off in utter madness... The sixth one so far.

"And you!" She said, turning to the drake, her face growing dark. "You have a week to turn my daughter back into a real princess, or I'm going to have to make sure the hive gets its fill with you!" She said, her face giving off a decidedly sadistic expression.

The drake gulped. "To become one of you, I suppose?" He asked, nervously.

"Oh... You'll wish that's what we'll have done when we finish!" She said, with a toothy smile...

"Oh?" The drake replied.

"Oh yes..." She replied. "We'll drain a lot more then your love..." She continued, walking towards the drake, who backed away slowly.

"O...h...?" He replied, sweating profusely.

"Let's just say we'll 'transform you into a walking skeleton'!" She said, getting her mouth right up against his ear, and making loud sucking noises. "Get it?" She cooed, in his ear.

"Of course..." The drake replied, nervously.

**********

"So yer tellin' meh, " Applejack, said, stoically, her face taking a stern tone usually reserved for when ''Bloom was misbehavin'.' "Dat that yah ran inta a world that was inherently unstable, an' chaotic filled ta the brim with en-tra-py?"

Discord nodded his head, playing some kind of prehistoric looking off white box in his claws. "It was a cancer on the multiverse... or something... and was, as such, scheduled for demolition..." He said, nonchalantly.

"An' ya ', and yer family 'del-eet-ted it'?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow, and pausing for a moment. "Ya know, 'fer everyponies protection'?" She said, trying to figure out what she was just told. "'Cause of it's in-stab-ility, due ta all the conflictin' wishes?"

"Something like that... Well usually, " the draconequus responded, sounding like a proper Trottingham gentlepony, a monocle in his eye. "And I already did."

"So did yer 'del-eet' it, or not?" The apple pony said, in utter befuddlement.

"Just not this time, " the draconequus replied, cryptically.

"What yer mean, 'not this time?'" Applejack replied, quirking her eyebrow again. "Ya cain't just get rid-o a world an' not git rid of it, it don't make no sense!" She continued, getting in the draconequus face.

The draconequus fixed his collar again. "You see, wasn't as bad, as usual, and it involves cycles, and us keeping our memories across cycles, and -- "

"Don't worry about it Applejack, " Rarity said, putting a hoof on her friend's wither. "I'm more concerned about something else he told us, " Rarity said, turning to their friend Discord. "Tell me about those objects you said you buried there."

The draconequus gave a nervous chuckle. "You see, I wasn't exactly reformed at the time, and all I knew was that even if I corrupted all six of you, you could find a way to come back, and that harmony kind of sucks for my kind, and I kind of... " he stammered, uncomfortably.

"What did you do, Discord?" Twilight asked, her tone stern, yet still calm.

"You see I originally thought of inoculating myself against harmony via -- " he said, trying to distract the dialog.

"DISCORD!!!" All six of the other ponies said, in unison.

"And I kind of made elements of disharmony," he said, really quietly. "You know... to consume the world's endless entropy, " he continues twiddling his claw, and his paw.

"Could you please speak up, darling?" Rarity asked, formally. "I didn't really get that."

"And I kind of made elements of disharmony," the chaos deity reiterated, really quietly.

"He said that he made elements of disharmony!" Pinkie replied. "Though I think the canon name is 'elements of chaos'!" She continued, bouncing up and down, wildly.

"'Elements of disharmony'?" Twilight said, facing the other ponies. "Why don't I like the sound of that..."

"Well there's nothing to be afraid of, " discord said, with a high pitched chuckle that made him sound like he'd been possessed by a extraequestrial space spider, or been dipped in some very bad acid. "It's only a problem if somepony were to find them, then, depending on their will power, they'd either become a sock puppet for my sinister former self, or gain control of my power from the inside, " he said, coolly motioning his paw along a straight line, wearing an atrocious wig which gave him the most rediculous looking head of red hair. "No big!"

"No big?" Twilight said, angrily. "That's extremely 'big', Discord!" She snorted. "Why didn't you tell us earlier?"

Discord twiddled his talon and claw. "I was kind of worried that you guys, especially Fluttershy, would think I was still bad, " he said, turning away from the other ponies.

"Ahh, Discord, " Fluttershy said, giving him a soft nuzzle. "I would never think you're bad, " she said, in a gentle voice.

"Why thank you, my dear," he said, his face turning a slight red.

The rest of the ponies joined in, giving him statements of agreement, and soft nods.

"Excellent!" He said, with a smile.

"Ok girls!" Twilight said, turning to the others. "I'll go back to the library to pen a letter to the princess, and then we -- "

"Oh and Twilight, " the draconequus said, twiddling his limbs. "If anyone comes asking about me relapsing slightly, and taking up a gig in crank phone calls, and telemarketing -- "

"DISCORD!!!" All six ponies shrieked, in unison.

"Oh, and I certainly didn't ring Rarity's doorbell 74 times yesterday!" He said, with a chuckle. "Only 75 times..."

"That was you!?" Rarity shrieked.

**********

"So, " the changeling lord said, with a greedy chuckle. "Even in her failure, Belladonna came through for me, " he said, turning to their last remaining assassin, as they gently fondled the last artifact. "You see, Solanaceae, " he said, his voice dripping with murderous intent. "My loyal assassins can succeed, despite Celestia's meddling, " he said, pointing an accusatory hoof at his last assassin. "Unlike you, oh slave of the departed lady."

The colt only looked down, bowing more deeply.

"But worry not, for I am merciful and will give you one more chance!" The changeling lord said, putting up their hoof. "For I have intel that leads me to believe that the last bearer is currently hiding under Celestia's roof, in Canterlot!" He announced. "Prove your loyalty by bringing them back here!" He commanded, pointing to his last assassin. "Otherwise, you are finished Solanaceae!"

The changeling colt nodded nervously. "Yes, my lord!"

"Good!" The changeling lord announced. "And soon I shall be all powerful!" He shouted, bursting into boastful laughter.