Loose Bolt, Toaster Repairstallion Extrordanaire

by Halifax

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Spike, Random, Adventure, Twilight Sparkle, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1758

A toaster is broken in Ponyville, and only one stallion can fix it.

A story about a broken toaster, arcane methods, and the Bureau of Appliance Repair.

My first story, yah.

Published 2014-10-30 18:10:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-06 18:59:52 UTC

Chapter the First

Hello, and welcome to SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
This time, we look at the continuing adventures of toaster repair pony and part-time window-cleaner, John Jefferies.

“And with that, the Twilicorn that we all know and love came into existence. The End.”

Spike snapped the book shut, stood, and turned to leave. Around where he sat, three small figures remained shrouded in darkness. Then, the infamous Cutie Mark Crusaders jumped out of the shadows and rushed to the side of the young drake.
“C’mon Spike”
“Another story, pleeeeeeeeeease?”
“Ah think we need another!”
The cacophony of whining and pleading and begging pushed Spike into the corner, with Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom closing in.

Then, with a sudden pop and the distinct smell of ozone, Twilight Sparkle appeared. With a toaster. A broken toaster. A toaster which could only be described as ‘the result of nuclear testing on household devices’. Mustering up her strength, she grabbed Spike in her telekinetic field and shouted.

“SPIKE!! THE TOASTER IS BROKEN!!”
“Jeez, Twilight, I think can see that.”
“Well? Do something! You’re the food expert here! AND I HAVEN’T EATEN SINCE I LAST ATE!!!!”
At this, Spike face-clawed. It appeared that Twilight had been up on one of her famous all-week studying binges, and the combination of a truly tremendous amount of coffee and the mind shattering sexyness of books had resulted in a craze that even Discord found hard to understand. Spike realized that the only thing he could do to stop this was-
“SPIKE!! Stop pondering and fix the toaster!”
The dragon sighed in sweet defeat
“Fine Twilight. I’ll get it looked into.”
Seemingly satisfied, the purple princess disappeared with a pop and the smell of ozone. Spike dropped onto the floor, landed on his head, and comedicly bowled over the fillies in the corner, who had never seen Twilight in a state like that before. Apple Bloom was the first to recover
“Spike, is Twilight like that to you all the time?”
The little dragon sat up and started for the door, but spoke before he left.
“Only when she’s feeling nice.”

With that, the young dragon stepped out the door, and fell into the ground. Because he was in a treehouse. The CMC clubhouse treehouse, to be precise. However, he was relatively unharmed, and got up, left, and began walking towards town.

SOMETIME LATER

In a seedy bar at the edge of town, the door swung open, shining light on the gathered crowd of disheveled mares and stallions who were lonely enough to get drunk at 3 in the afternoon. From the doorway came marching a young dragon, known to us as Spike, but know to these ponies as the “Taskmaster”. After some time, he spoke, saying
“Alright, Twilight Sparkle’s toaster has broken, and I need somepony to come repair it.”

Almost immediately, every single being in the bar, up to and including the rats, recoiled away from Spike. All but one. He was leaning against the bar, a dark mechanic’s hat covering his face. He had golden brown fur, an alabaster mane, and a swipe of a smirk. The stallion moved the cap and said:
“Well, if it ain’t the Taskman. See’n that I’m the only one here brave enough to put up an offer, looks like i gots some work.”
Spike gave him a short look, then turned to leave.
“You got the job, but you will report at 8 A.M. sharp, Loose Bolt.”

And with the right pony found for the job, Spike exited the building, and slammed the door shut behind him.

THE NEXT DAY

Spike woke up early, remembering the engagement he had to make in front of the library door. At 6:55, he set up a chair in front of the building, awaiting Loose Bolt and his expertise in repair. As Celestia’s sun rose higher in the sky, a stallion in overalls and a grey mechanic’s hat came sauntering down the way. Spike saw him, and without speaking let him in and led him to the kitchen. Then he spoke.

“So, mister Bolt, you are here for the job offer that I gave you, correct?”

The stallion removed his cap, revealing his horn, the same color as his pelt. He motioned towards the counter, where the absolutely ruined toaster was sitting.
“Is this what I’m supposed to repair? Why was everyone so frightened of it?”
Spike sighed, and explained the current state of affairs.
“If you must know, it’s because Twilight is an Alicorn Princess of Magic, and many of the broken appliances around here are due to either magical misfires, or sheer annoyance on her part. She’s not exactly the most stable of mares.”

Loose Bolt nodded sagely at the advice, then turned to the toaster.
“So what’s the story behind this one?”

“Well, as far as I know, Discord gave her some bread, she tried to toast it later, and a spatial anomaly occurred. Inside the toaster.”

“So all I need to do is to fix it up and bring it back?”

Spike nodded.
“Yeah. Also, try and make sure there won’t be any magical radiation on our bread, please. It doesn’t leave a nice aftertaste.”

Loose Bolt put the toaster in his bag, put his hat back on, and left the library. As he walked home, he thought about what he would need to get the kitchen appliance back is working order. Due to the wrecked nature of the shell, some scrap aluminium would be needed. In addition, the dennou coil that heated the bread would need at least partial repair. Muttering to himself about the intricacies of toaster repair, Loose Bolt walked into the hardware supply store.

“Welcome to the shop. Looking only, no touching, and definitely no product testing.”

The rather haggard mare behind the service/checkout/nap counter finished her speech, and got back to lying facedown and drooling in the latest issue of Mechanic’s Weekly. Our toaster-repairing protagonist nodded, and went in search of the needed parts.

SOMETIME LATER

Leaving the now-smoldering hardware store in haste, Loose Bolt tossed some change on the counter, expertly avoiding the two-by-four flung at his head by the now fully awake, alert, and irate owner.
“Youse better not be coming back anytime soon unless you can pay for all the damage done! Scoundrel!”

With a final ratchet thrown past him, Loose Bolt left the building
“Sheesh I hate him. Now to go back to sleep.”

TO BE CONTINUED...

Chapter the Second

Loose Bolt had had a harrowing day. His lovely relaxing sleep had been brutally murdered by a magically "enhanced" alarm clock (of his own making), he had traveled to the domicile of the resident dragon and his near-omnipotent alicorn master, he got chased out of the home repair store, and now here he was, in his workshop, staring at the little toaster that had given him so much pain.

It wasn't going to be a hard job. He only had to replace the dennou-coil heater and the outer casing. Of course, to replace a broken dennou-coil, one first had to remove the damaged one. And that was a risky proposition. In fact, that a powerful and knowledgeable mage like Twilight had left it in there was incredibly confusing. Damaged coils leaked not-insignificant quantities of fairly dangerous magical radiation into the surrounding area. On the other hoof, it only affected things that were not already imbued with magical properties. So it was only dangerous to standard animals, not ponies.

Regardless of the dangers, replacing a dennou-coil required involving the Ministry of Appliance Repair. To do that, Loose Bolt would need to head to the local headquaters, convieniently located right across the street. He put his hat back on, put the toaster in the bag, and lefthome.

[A SHORT TIME LATER]

"Hello, dear, and welcome to the Ministry of Appliance Repair. Please state your name, purpose, and destination."

The mare was perched in a desk that loomed over the Ministry's entrance hall. A grey unicorn, with a blond mane, she sported a look that made her scarier than most drill sargents.

"Oh. It's you, Mr. Bolt. What is your purpose this time?"

"Oh, nothing much, just a broken dennou-coil."

Of course, at the mere combination of the words "broken" and "dennou" in a sentence, the secratary pulled out a gas mask and put it on before continuing the conversation.

"Alright, so for some thing like that, Mr. Bolt, you're going to want to head to the second basement floor, take a right off the staircase, then walk until you see waste disposal."

The secratary then activated a hidden mechanism on her desk which slowly lowered her down into the floor.

Loose Bolt noticed this but gave no heed to what it might mean. He followed her intructions to the word, taking the stairs down two floors, then going down the rightmost hallway until he saw the Waste Disposal sub-unit.

There was a microphone on the wall. He tapped twice, than realyed his purpose here.

"Hello, I'm Loose Bolt, and I've been sent here to dispose of a broken dennou-coil."

Five seconds later, alarms went off and rubber-suited ponies burst in thorugh hidden doorways. Two of them took out radiation scanners and proceeded to give Loose Bolt the once-over.

"Um, I don't think that any of this is nessacary. Last time I visited, this was just a calm proceedure."

The gas-masked ponies surrounding him remained impassive, as two of their kind contiuned to scan him. Suddenly, the scanners started blurting red, and the circle pulled out stunn guns.

"Please, Gentlecolts, I don't see why any of this is nessa-GAAAAHHHH!!!!"

Loose Bolt fell to the ground as his captors all activated their weapons at once. One of them picked up the toaster as theywalked away, and split from the group.

[ONE DAY LATER]

Spike opened the door to the Library at exactly 7 am, as required by Equestrian law. As he began to push on the heavy oak barrier to the outside, it caught on something. The young drake pushed harder, and was rewarded with the sound of metal scraping on the wooden step. He stepped outside through the small gap, puzzled by what made the door so difficult to open.

Sitting on the step was a brand new toaster, in shiny purple, with a note on it. The words on the note said:

Apologies for any inconvieniences, Princess Sparkle
-M.A.R.

Author's Note

The surprise ending is surprising. :pinkiegasp: