BBBFFWB

by Muan

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Shining Armor, Sex, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2145

The WB stands for "With Benefits" Shining Armor jumps the gun and gives a speech.

Twilight Sparkle breaks breaks into the wedding rehearsal, but Shining Armor interrupts her before she can say anything. ("WB" stands for "With Benefits." Just so you know what you're getting into.)

Now working on chapter 3. It's called Big Brother's New Friend.

Published 2012-04-25 08:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-09 20:48:05 UTC

The Speech

BBBFFWB: The Speech

Episode 25, Season 2: During the Wedding Rehearsal….

“Do you?” said Spike playing with the wedding dolls. “I do!” And with that he cast away the doll of Shining Armor.

“Hey has anypony seen Twilight,” the groom asked.

As if in response the chamber doors were flung open. Twilight Sparkle stood in the entrance. A look of courage and spite adorned her face. “I’m here!” she shouted. “I’m not gonna stand next to her, and neither should you!” she said addressing her brother, the groom.

Shining Armor bit his lip and looked about in distress. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why she’s acting like this.”

“Maybe we should just ignore her,” said Cadence in reply.

“You have to listen to me!” said Twilight pleadingly.

“Oh goodness are you alright?” Fluttershy asked.

“I’m fine.”

“Ya sure about that?” asked Applejack. Twilight magically stuffed the mare’s Stetson hat over her mouth in response.

“I have something to say.” Twilight marched forward towards the bride and groom.

Shining Armor had only seconds to think. Even less time to react. Almost swallowing his words he managed to say from between clenched teeth, “Twilie, please!”

At that, Twilight stopped mid stride. “Please? Please what? Please don’t disturb this sham wedding?”

“Twilie!”

“Don’t ‘Twilie’ me. I think its time everypony here knew the truth!”

“I really don’t think this is the time or the place.”

“What is wrong with you, Shining Armor? Are you really on her side? Don’t you see that you’re –“

“Twilight!” Shining Armor was shaking. He looked honestly afraid. He choked down the fear. He summoned up all his courage and spoke while his sister remained silent with shock. “Look, I know what you’re going to say, and maybe you’re right. I’ve had my doubts, too. But we both always knew things would turn out this way in the end. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I grew up. Sometimes, yes, I wonder, is it all a sham? Do I really love Cadence? Sometimes I think I’m just using her so I won’t have to think about you every waking second. I did think that maybe if I was with Cadence then the dreams would stop and I could stop remembering what it was like with my little sister. And maybe the dreams haven’t stopped. Maybe I still wake up in a cold sweat at night shivering in my bones and rasping out your name.

“Maybe Cadence doesn’t really know me; maybe she can never really know me the way you do. Maybe I don’t really know her. Maybe we’ll never be a part of each other the way you and I were, the way you and I are. Maybe I’ll never stop thinking of your face every time she and I make love but dammit Twilight, you’re my sister. I’ve grown up and I’ve accepted that and so should you!”

By the time Shining Armor had finished his speech, the whole room was naturally filled with dropped jaws. Only Spike and Princess Celestia had looks of no particular surprise still on their faces. Several of the guards were still fighting back any expression of surprise, but most had unconsciously allowed their jaws to slacken, even if their eyes remained stern.

Twilight was, of course, the first to respond. “Wow… that’s not what I came here to talk about at all, actually.”

“It’s not?” her brother said.

“No, not really but…” A twinkle of hope had started to sparkle in her eyes. An anxious smile played across her features. “Is that true? Do you really still dream about me – about us?”

“I… still write poetry about you,” said Shining Armor, his eyes downcast and his face turned away from his younger sister.

“I still write you letters about my life in Ponyville and about my feelings for you” replied Twilight.

“She does?” said Applejack, turning to Spike.

“Oh yeah. She writes ‘em, reads ‘em aloud, punches the mirror, and cries her eyes out. It’s a regular routine.”

“Ohmygosh ohmygosh, I can’t believe I’m actually telling you this. I thought you’d stopped writing poetry”, babbled Twilight Sparkle to her brother. “Can I read what you’ve written?”

”Of course – I mean, no!” said the Captain of the Royal Guard. “Things can never go back to the way they were. I can’t love you the way I did. I’m with Cadence now.”

“I wouldn’t count on that for too long” came the word from the fake Cadence. “Okay, look, I’m just going to go ahead and put this out there. I’m not Cadence, I’m actually a changeling queen.”

Princess Celestia piped up suddenly. “The changelings feed on love by imitating the beloved. Of course! You were imitating Cadence to feed off of Shining Armor’s love! With that kind of power, you could have conquered all Equestria!”

“Yes, thank you Princess Celestia for that helpful bit of exposition. As afore stated, I run on love, not on self-deception, though I must say, it would probably be a much better business plan.” In a puff of green glittering smoke, the changeling queen returned to her true form saying, “Looks like I’m not getting much out of that form. If you don’t mind, I need to go call off the siege of Canterlot. Shining Armor, I hope you get the help you need. The rest of you are free to go.” With that she began to depart.

“But, what did you do with the real Cadence?” said Shining Armor.

“Oh, right. Gem mines. Right underneath the castle. Good luck getting her out before she suffocates.”

“You aren’t going to show us where she is?”

“What, and chance being forced to tell her myself why I had to call off my plans? I don’t think so,” said the queen of the changelings.

“Wow, this is a lot to take in,” said Twilight. “Can I read your poetry now that you don’t have Cadence?”

“I-I guess. I don’t know” said her brother.

“Can I send you my letters?”

“…Not all at once.”

“Ohmygosh, I can’t believe he’ll finally be reading them” Twilight said turning back to her friends. “It’s going to be so embarrassing… but so great. I can’t believe he still has feelings for me. Why did I come here anyway? I’ve completely forgotten what was going on. Wow, I’m feeling kinda lightheaded. Oh no, the room’s spinning.” Hyperventilating, Twilight Sparkle then took in one final breath and passed out after a few more moments of delirious happiness.

In Consequence

BBBFFWB: In Consequence

In a spare bedroom of the palace, some hours after the failed wedding rehearsal, Applejack and Spike sat. In the center of the room sat a bed with Twilight Sparkle fast asleep beneath its covers.

“So, Spike, knowin’ how Twilight here thinks of her big brother,” said Applejack, “and seein’ how you’re kinda like her little brother, does that ever worry ya?”

“What do you mean?” asked Spike.

“I mean, ya ever get to wonderin’ just how she thinks of you?”

“Well, only when she – oh hey Twilight you’re awake!”

Twilight was beginning to stir, opening her eyes and looking about. She sat up in the bed and put a hoof to her forehead.

“What am I –oh. I passed out, didn’t I?” Twilight asked.

“Celestia had ya brought here when ya didn’t wake up,” said Applejack

“Feeling okay now?” asked Spike.

“Great,” sighed Twilight smiling sardonically and turning her gaze downward, “just tell me everything I just said was all a dream, and I’ll be happy.”

“If ya mean the part where you and your big brother blurted out your ‘special feelings’ for each other in front of Princess Celestia, all your friends, a couple of guards, and the queen of the changelings then nah, that stuff was all real,” said Applejack. “But anything that came afterwards probably wasn’t, if that makes ya feel any better.”

“I really thought I had that all under control,” said Twilight.

“Aw, shucks, Twilight, don’t feel bad,” said Applejack putting a hoof on her friend’s back. “I don’t think any differently of ya.”

“Maybe you don’t, but do you suppose we could just pretend that all this just never happened?” asked Twilight.

“Nothing would make me happier, sugar, but there’s a whole room full of other ponies you gotta take that up with before we can all just pretend it never happened.”

“Yeah, you’ve been out for six hours,” said Spike, “and those guards didn’t look like the types to keep secrets.”

“Unless you’ve got some spell for erasing memories, looks like the word’s out, sugar.”

“I know the spell I need,” sighed Twilight, “but it’s against the law.”

“So when do we get to hear all the juicy details about you and Shining Armor's forbidden love affair?”

Twilight put her face in her hooves. “I guarantee you, it’s nothing like what you’re imagining.”

“Sounded like you and your bro had a ‘special relationship’ growing up.”

“Bingo,” said Spike.

Twilight looked up from her hooves. “See, that’s what I mean! It wasn’t like that!”

Applejack and Spike both stared at Twilight dubiously. Suddenly Applejack’s smiling expression returned.

“Look, Spike,” Applejack said, “maybe she’s right and this is all a big misunderstanding. I mean, I had a big brother growing up, and we were awful close. And sometimes, I mean, sure, we’d kiss a little and do some other stuff cause we was curious, but that was it. Lots of siblings are like that.”

“I know, right?” said Twilight turning to her friend with a smile. “We just used to kiss and stuff but – “

“And dance,” interjected Spike.

“– but that’s it!” Twilight finished.

“And now, ya write him letters about your feelings for him,” said Applejack, “And I never did anything with Big Mac growing up – I had friends.”

“You lied?” asked Twilight.

“Sorry.”

“But you’re the element of honesty!”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t lie.”

“When have you lied?”

“Pinkie’s birthday party.”

“Oh, right.” Twilight’s face fell back into her hooves. “I just want to get on with my life,” she said.

“Sure ya do, hon. Now, kissing and stuff was all y’all did? Is that right?”

“Yes.”

“And Shining Armor was your only friend before we met ya.”

“Yes.”

“And that includes boyfriends?”

“Yes, and I see where you’re going with this.”

“So then ya haven’t ever – “

“Obviously.”

“So, you’re a – “

“Oh, shut up.”

Applejack looked over at Spike who discretely shook his head.

“Look, hon,” said Applejack, “I don’t want to upset ya, but you’re in love and if ya can’t talk to your friends about this, then who can ya talk to?”

“Can’t I just bury it deep, deep down and never bring it up again?” asked Twilight.

“I think ya already tried that, sugar. Look where it got ya. ”

“If you all would just sign memory waivers then – “

“You’re gonna want to read the small print on those,” warned Spike. Twilight looked up and scowled at him, annoyed. “I’m just saying, “Spike said, “Brain damage.”

“What are the others doing?” Twilight asked turning to Applejack. “Why aren’t they here?”

Applejack’s expression changed to one of concern. “Oh, right, well, remember how I said how I don’t feel any differently about ya? Well, the others are feeling… varying degrees of differently about ya at the moment.”

Twilight’s eyes widened with realization. A gasp escaped her lips. “My incestuous desires have driven away four of my best friends!”

“Now hold on there, sugar. Your incestuous desires haven’t driven away anypony. Pinkie Pie just wanted some time to herself, and Fluttershy just doesn’t know what to say. They’ll come around soon enough. You’ll see.”

“And Rarity and Rainbow Dash?”

“Oh, well, Rarity just doesn’t approve, but she says it isn’t any of her business.”

“And she’s been avoiding me,” said Spike.

“And Rainbow Dash?” asked Twilight.

Applejack said nothing. She started avoiding Twilight’s stare.

“And Rainbow Dash?” asked Twilight again.

“You’re… just gonna have to see her yourself,” said Applejack. "Princess Celestia said to leave her alone for a while."

Twilight’s gaze drifted back down to her covers. A dejected look began to adorn her face. “Sounds an awful lot like I’ve driven them away,” she said.

“Now I just dun told ya that ain’t so. Why don’t you and I go see what Pinkie Pie’s up to? Ya can’t get her down for too long. I’ll bet she’s come around by now. You’ll see.”

“Hmm, maybe you’re right,” said Twilight assenting. “Sitting, moping about in this room won’t do me any good. Besides, I can’t imagine Pinkie Pie being cold towards anypony.” With that, she got out of bed and followed Applejack out of the room with Spike at her side.