I have been the mailmare of Ponyville for… oh, it seems like forever sometimes. I guess that sounds like I hate my job, but on the contrary, I love it. It's like carrying people's lives in my hooves, each letter a little piece of destiny. Thoughts, dreams, lies, promises, betrayals… all of them printed on paper, sealed in an envelope, and given to me for delivery. That’s actually pretty neat, don’t you think?
The route is not that exciting, from one part of Ponyville to the other, and then I'm done, and I can go home. The only thing that changes is the weather. But, rain or shine, snow or fog, the mail must be delivered. Ponyville has a good weathermare, and it’s usually sunny. People assume I fly the wrong way all the time, and that I always lose at least one letter or a package a day, just because of my eyes. But that is not true! I haven’t lost anything in over three weeks! However, when you are the only mailmare, your actions are under constant surveillance, so when something does get lost, it's like 100 incontinent Wonderbolts right over you..
I have everything in perfect order, thank you very much. Let me tell you what I got today.
There’s a postcard to Lyra from Bonbon and an invoice to Mr. Rich (whoever sent that one will never see any money, mark my words!). Then there’s a note to Rainbow Dash that she needs to return “Daring Doo And the Curious Incident With the Dog At Night” to the library, I think it’s the third one Twilight sent. There’s a package to young Applebloom, and damn it, it's an official reciept from the gambling bureau! Somepony won some bits! Ah, Mr Cake. Hey, I knew it would pay off to bet on Diamond Dog racing!
Oh, and of course… This week’s love letter to the only Alabaster mare in Ponyville. (Yeah yeah, I know, she has a younger sister, but that sounds so romantic…)
The last one is special. They started to appear a few months ago. They are always written in red ink, and with a slight sprinkle of “Canél no.9” on it. They're all for Rarity. By chance, I always make her the last on my route. Well, I started to, when I realized what kind of letter it was. I also noticed, that Rarity always took her mail with her into the kitchen, made herself a cup of tea, and opened the mail. Her kitchen has a pretty big window, it’s not like I’m SPYING or anything, I just… happen to be there, y’know?
I like to try and figure out what she’s thinking. Is it “Oh, dear, who could write such beautiful words of pure loveliness?” or “Who in this town might know that I love that poem by Hoovespeare“ or “Who is the pony that writes my name in such a beautiful way, with ink as red as roses?”
Ok, I may be a bit too much of a romantic, I guess… And I only read her letters once! It really was a poem by Hoovespeare! “Shall I compare you, to a brown big moose…” I always wait for a reaction. She smiles, usually. But not much moore. She has never asked me if I know who the writer is.
She barely says "hello".
Well, my route needs to be taken care of. It ain’t over ‘til it’s over, as mum always says!
Dududududuuu…
"Lyra, a postcard from you." "From Bonbon, yes." "Oh, but poor you, has she been away for long?" "Five hours… OOOkay…"
"This is for Mr Rich, yes." "Sorry? If it’s an invoice, put it in there?" "But…that is a trashcan." "Oh. Ok."
"Rainbow Dash, there you go…Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, just give her the book!" "No, I haven’t read it yet." "Well, I would, if somepony RETURNED IT!" "Ok, bye."
"Here you go, Applebloom." "What is it?" "Oh, a secret. Okay, I won’t tell anyone." "Ok, especially not to Applejack." "Sorry? Do I think she might care if her mane was dyed green? …I think she might be upset, yes." "Oh, no, I haven’t heard anything. You just got a package. Have a good day."
…I’m definitely locking my door tonight.
"Here you go, Mr Cake." "Wow, 1000 bits, Congratulations! What are you going to do with the money?" "Oh, a trip! That sounds like fun." "Or a new carriage, yeah, why not?" "Or… What was that crash? Oh. Well, I think 1000 bits will cover that. "
I pass Cranky’s house. He never gets any mail at all. Poor him. Well, it’s not like we see him around very much anyway. And what’s he building in there? We have a right to know, you know.
Rarity almost never got any mail either. Well, until two months ago, that is. I wonder, did any pony feel sad for her? I did. Almost every day she was sitting there, at her table. Like she was waiting for me. Barely said “Hello, Derpy” to me. I know she has her friends, but… It seems lonely at times. Nopony there to welcome her when she gets home.
Well, that’s today’s route. Time to go home. No one is waiting for me either. It’s quiet, and dark and the blankets in my bed are cold. After dinner I usually go to bed early, I need to be up with the sun. I have a favourite dream, I hope it will come again tonight.
But, before that I write the next letter. I take my time to phrase it exactly the way I want it. And, this time I sign it with my name.
And tomorrow, the same route as always. Another postcard to Lyra from Bonbon and another invoice to Mr. Rich (Why do they even keep sending those!). Another note to Rainbow Dash that she needs to return “Daring Doo And the Curious Incident With the Dog At Night” to the library, this must be the fourth one Twilight sent. Why can’t she just fly up there and take it by herself! Another package to young Applebloom; This one will probably be ticking. A bill for the cakes, a new oven, 1000 bits. I told them, why experiment with Danish pastries when MUFFINS is the thing!
And of course, my next love letter to the only alabaster mare in Ponyville.
My very best love letter, to the only alabaster mare in Ponyville.
