Hunter to hunted

by Cauchemar

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Romance
Length: 1003

Agent Waifu Hunter is smart. He's sly and cunning. he'd never be stupid enough to fall in love would he?

Waifu hunter isn't the nicest pony. He works in a dirty business so detested that he cant even use his real name on the job. So when he Goes to Ponyville for a job he wasn't expecting to find anything good waiting for him there. Certainly not a single mom with a cute kid who seems interested in him.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-31 18:18:39 UTC

Enter the Hunter

It's a cool cloudy day and a young mare sits outside at a cafe enjoying her lunch break. The poor dear doesn't know whats coming.

  ' I'd like to think I'm not a bad pony.' A shadow slowly sneaks it's way past a guard towards a set of stairs.   I mean sure my job isn't pretty and someone usually ends up hurt but I try to make it as quick and painless as I can.' The shadow reaches the top of the stairs and pushes open a door revealing it to be a pale pink just slightly off-white) stallion with a shaggy Yellow mane Using a pair of wings to carry a big black case.   'this isn't the job I wanted but it pays well enough and a ponies gotta eat right?'

Ever so slowly the stallion picked out a suitable spot before opening his case.

It's just this Mares bad luck that she caught the eye of Fancy Pants. Well after today that wont be a problem. ' He began removing metal pieces of something from his case and snapping them together with practiced ease. 'I suppose by now I should probably introduce myself shouldn't I?' His tool having been assembled he took his position and aimed at a mare across the street. 'aaah. nothing better than a clean shot on the first try....where was I?' With a small smile and a held breath he steadied his hooves and took the shot.

'Ah I remember now. Most people know me as a ruthlessly efficient employee

Having made his way into canterlot our main character stopped at a cafe and took a seat at a table with a white female pony wearing a large coat, hat and sunglasses.

"did you complete ze job?" She asked in a hurry. 'probably afraid of being spotted Understandable, after all being spotted with a hunter in public would ruin her reputation.'

"see for yourself. One look at this and I guarantee Fancy's eyes wont be wandering for a while" He tossed a small bowling ball bag on the table that she then proceeded to take and peer inside where she stared at the contents for a few seconds before quickly looking away looking slightly ill. 'as I was saying earlier My codename is Waifu Hunter.'

"zis shall do nicely indeed" Our (sorta)hero couldn't help but chuckle. "I should hope that sixty pictures of Healing Heart Picking her snotty boogers and eating them on her cupcakes after dropping said cupcakes in the mud would kill his interest, and if not there's a few other pictures in the bag. Now about my fee?" At the mention of other pictures her slightly green face darkened slightly turning a wonderful shade similar to the color of broccoli. Quickly trying to distract herself she focused on his inquiry.  "oh! but of course Mr.Hunter!" After checking to make sure her yelling hadn't drawn any attention she quickly retrieved a medium sized sack with a good number of bits in it from behind her chair and hoofed it over. "250 bits as promised Mr.Hunter." A quick look to make sure everything was there (nothing personal just business) and he nodded. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you Fleur and I hope we never have to again." ' But my name, my REAL name is ShutterFly. Photography Master, Snark Master, and seriously underpaid worker. and I seriously need a vacation from this mess. With that thought he began headed towards the trainstation for the long ride back home bag of bits jingling as he walked.

'Two weeks since the Fancy job, Fleur sent a letter of thanks and a tray of what I think were cookies at least if cookies weighed enough to fall through seven stories of a metal office building and were magic proof we're still not sure if that was really a gift or another assassination attempt) , I've gotten a promotion (now my nameplate glows in the dark. and I have a nameplate. Yay.) and I've just about gotten my vacation. I've cleared it with my boss, I've done every job I've been given so far and I've filed all my time off paperwork (which took two days). I've only got one job left for the entirety of this quarter of the year (almost a full four months to myself!).' A quick read over the request letter revealed that the request was from the captain of the royal guard, Prince Shining Armor. Apparently one of his guards was making eyes at his sister and he wanted something done to keep them apart and it would appear that he wanted this done Thoroughly if the pricetag of 3750 bits was to be considered .

'A quick look at the part of the letter telling me where to find them shows that  Both are currently in Ponyville. Which is where I was going to go on my vacation. Good I can save some more bits on travel and even have a excuse by staying with my sister.  I just hope she finally got rid of that pain in the flank bunny'

'And as always I end up stuck between somepony who is both fat, has waaay to much neck fur and is completely covered in cheese dust, and somepony with a crying child. SERIOUSLY LADY ITS CALLED GOOD PARENTING HAVE YOU TRIED IT?! I'm beginning to regret not just flying myself to ponyville. I'm pretty sure I'd prefer the cramps to having cheese in my mane and a ruptured eardrum.' After the seven hour ride Finally ended he flew (literally) out of the train as fast as possible just narrowly missing being beamed with a slobber and cheese covered rattle) 'SWEET FREEDOM!!!' After having finally calmed down from his freedom high shutter looked around and found himself reasonably close to his sisters house. So with a spring in his step ShutterFly began to trot towards FlutterShy's home. Never knowing how things in his life were about to change.