Pinkie Pie’s Derailing
By: The Killing Joke
"So we have everything set for the party. Now all we need is Pinkie Pie." said Twilight.
“I’ll get her. It shouldn’t take me too long to find her.” Rainbow Dash stated with a bold salute.
“She’s a pink earth pony whose sole purpose is to spread happiness. Ah don’t think it’ll be that hard to find her.” Applejack stated matter-of-factly.
“You better get going Rainbow Dash! I haven’t seen Pinkie all day. Celestia knows what she’s been up to.” Rarity exclaimed in a state of panic. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was missing the hyper party pony’s antics, even if she missed them for only a few hours.
“Ask us for help if you might need it.” Fluttershy noted with concern.
“I’m sure I won’t need it. She’s Pinkie. How hard can it be?”
One hour earlier
“What do you want me to say? Tell me what you want me to say, and I’ll say it!” The frantic dragon replied.
“Tell me that my friends are all lying to me, and they don’t want to BE MY FRIENDS ANYMORE!” Pinkie seethed, panting after her yelling.
“Your friends are all lying to you and they don’t want to be your friends anymore.” Spike said nervously, fearing Pinkie’s wrath.
“AHA! I KNEW IT!” Pinkie exclaimed with a sense of triumph. Suddenly, her mane poofed up and if spike was watching, deflated.
“Oh no, my friends don’t like my parties and they don’t want to be my friends anymore!” Pinkie realized with a sudden frown.
“Uh… soooo…” Spike tapped Pinkie. She passed him the plate of gems, and sighed in defeat.
Back to the present
Rainbow Dash searched all of Ponyville. Checking high and low. Under and over every nook and cranny. Asking everypony about the whereabouts of Pinkie.
“Sorry Dash, I haven’t seen her.” Derpy said with a smile.
“Thanks anyways!” Rainbow shouted back after taking off.
“Pinkie? Nope. Haven’t seen her all day.” Lyra said with confusion.
“You’d think that mare would take a break from Sugarcube Corner once and while huh?” Lyra said laughing.
“That’s the only place I haven’t checked yet. I thought it would be too obvious.” Said dash with a sly shrug.
“Thank you for your help Lyra!” Dash shouted once more, after taking off.
“You’re welcome Rainbow Dash! Hope everything goes well!” Lyra shouted up.
Rainbow Dash made it to Sugarcube Corner in 10 seconds flat and nearly burst through the saloon like doors. Though she caught herself, steadied her approach, and gracefully trotted in.
“Hello Rainbow Dash!” Exclaimed a very ecstatic blue mare.
“Do you need something to eat?” Asked Mrs. Cupcake.
“No thank you Mrs. Cake. I’m just looking for Pinkie Pie, nothing more.”
A few muffled shouts were heard from upstairs.
“You should go check on her. I haven’t seen her come out of there all day.” Mrs. Cake Stated with a very serious change in both tone and expression.
“That’s what I came here to do. This shouldn’t take too long for me to do.” Said Rainbow Dash.
“Good Luck!” Mrs. Cake shouted as Dash trotted upstairs.” Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but shudder at that statement. She had never known her pink friend to ever be so wound up that she would need luck. Whatever it was that Dash was going into, she thought that she would need help to get it done.
Knocking on Pinkie’s bedroom door, Dash found that it opened with ease. Rainbow Dash announced her presence with caution.
“Hey there Pinkie Pie. Sorry I had to leave in such a rush earlier. You know how it goes.” Pinkamena returned with a glare and muttered through her teeth,
“Oh I know how it goes all right!”
“Yeah, why don’t you come down with me to Sweet Apple Acres?” Dash questioned.
“No thanks! I’m spending time with my real friends. Isn’t that right, madame Leflour?” Pinkamena asked.
“Oui! Zat is correct madame!” Pinkamena exclaimed doing an absolutely terrible impersonation of Fluttershy’s voice.
“Uh, Pinkie Pie?” Rainbow Dash beckoned nervously, but was stopped and shocked when Gummy bounced in her way on a balloon.
“Another slice of cake, sir lints-a-lot?” Pinkamena asked.
“I’d love one!” Pinkie said in another horrid impersonation. This one of Rarity.
“Alrighty, then. What do you say we get on out of creepytown, and head over to Applejack’s?” rainbow hesitantly inquired.
“And what do you say we have a little chat, HUH RAINBOW DASH!?” Pinkamena yelled. Rainbow Dash was taken aback by Pinkie’s tone and demeanor, but proceeded to hold her ground. “Pinkie, this is no time to be stubborn! That’s Applejack’s job. We need to get out of here and over to Applejack’s barn.”
“NO! I’M GOING FIRST!” Pinkie yelled at the top of her lungs. “How could you do this to me!? I thought we were friends!"
"What are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash asked, starting to get just the little bit shaken up by Pinkie’s recent attitude change. “YOU ARE NO FRIEND OF MINE! I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANYPONY WHO ABANDONS ME! GET OUT!” Pinkie screamed.
“I- I-…” Rainbow Dash stuttered.
“LEAVE!!!!!” Pinkie shouted.
“I’ll- I’ll go get help for you Pinkie. I’m going to get help from the others. I’ll be back shortly.” Dash said frantically, before spreading her wings and bolting out of the bedroom. As she flew away, she heard a voice faintly shouting,
“GOOD RIDDANCE!!” Rainbow couldn’t help but shed a few tears at that. She just had her heart broken by one of her best friends.
“I wonder what’s taking her so long.” Twilight asked with just the slightest trace of concern.
“Maybe Pinkie’s just having a hard time.” Fluttershy stated. Suddenly, the barn doors burst open to reveal a distraught Rainbow Dash, Eyes red and puffy from her tears. “Sweet Celestia Rainbow Dash! What happened over there?” Rarity asked in an extremely concerned tone.
“It- It was” Dash broke down into more sobs. Dash felt comforting hooves on her shoulders as Fluttershy asked what had happened.
“It was Pinkie!” Dash shouted in a frantic state. “I’ve never seen her act so nasty before! It was like she was another pony entirely. She told me that we had abandoned her, and that I was no friend of hers. They were the most terrible words I’ve ever heard uttered out of Pinkie’s mouth.” Dash said with her head down.
“Well let’s knock some sense into that pony!” Applejack yelled.
“Let’s go girls!” Twilight commanded. The mane 5 galloped off to Sugarcube Corner to confront Pinkamena, all except for Dash, who was still being consoled by Fluttershy.
The girls all arrived at Sugarcube corner to see the cakes frantically trying to coax Pinkie out of her room. “Oh thank goodness you’re here! We need help with Pinkie, and- Rainbow, are you alright?” Mrs. Cake asked with the deepest concern.
“She’ll be fine.” Assured Fluttershy. We just need to get this whole mess situated. The girls charged up the stairs and into Pinkie’s room, breaking the originally unlocked door down. Rainbow Dash made sure to stay a good distance away from Pinkie, as she knew what state Pinkie was in.
“Pinkie Pie! What have you done to Dash!?” Twilight asked in a state of absolute anger.
“WHAT HAVE I DONE TO HER!? WHAT HAS SHE, AND FOR THAT MATTER ALL OF YOU, DONE TO ME!?” Pinkie screamed at the five ponies. The mane five thought for a second before Pinkie answered. “I’LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU’VE DONE! YOU’VE ABANDONED ME! THAT’S WHAT YOU’VE DONE! SOME FRIENDS YOU ARE!” Her voice dripping with venom, as the others tried to grasp what they could’ve done to make Pinkie act like this.
“You have no right to talk like that Pinkie! You are taking things just a bit too far!” Rarity shouted.
“OH, I DON’T HAVE A RIGHT!? OF COURSE I DO!” Pinkie shouted.
“Pinkie, Calm down! There’s no need to act like this! If I may ask, how did we abandon you?” Twilight asked.
“WHAT HAVE YOU GIRLS BEEN DOING ALL DAY!? LYING AND AVOIDING ME! HOW CAN YOU BE MY FRIENDS WHEN THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME!?”
“We’ve been avoiding you, because we were setting up your surprise party!” Rainbow Dash shouted, mustering up a little bit of courage.
“I’M VERY CERTAIN THAT’S WHAT YOU’VE BEEN DOING ALL DAY!” Pinkie shouted, her fury not dying down one bit.
“YOU SHOULD KNOW ALL ABOUT AVOIDING PONIES DASH! YOU KEEP AVOIDING ME TO WANT TO DO KEEP BEING LAZY, OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO! SO… why should I have friends?” Pinkie’s tone took a dramatic shift from completely infuriated to depressed very quickly.
As she heard these words, Dash broke down again, but steeled her resolve, and went in for an attack. “I don’t know! Why should you have friends, huh!? If this is how you treat them, YOU DESERVE NO FRIENDS!” Dash exploded. She lunged for Pinkie, who now was on the receiving end of Dash’s fury. Rainbow Dash almost got ahold of Pinkie before her tail was bitten, and she was dragged back.
“LET GO OF ME! SHE DESERVES WHAT SHE’S GOING TO GET!” Dash screamed.
“RAINBOW DASH! STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!” The sudden and unexpected voice belonged to Fluttershy, who at the moment was holding Rainbow down. She had been contemplating her words for quite some time, and decided now was the time to speak. “Pinkamena Diane Pie! You have clearly been hurt by all of us, but that’s no reason to turn this against Dash! You should be ashamed of the behavior you’ve been exhibiting.” Those words reignited Pinkie’s fury just as quickly as it had disappeared.
“AND WHAT’VE YOU BEEN TELLING RARITY, HUH!? THAT YOU WERE GLAD YOU MADE UP AN EXCUSE FOR NOT BEING AT MY PARTY!? I WONDER WHAT OTHER EXCUSES YOU’VE COME UP WITH! HMM… MAYBE LIVING IN THE WOODS AND “CARING FOR WOODLAND CREATURES” IS JUST AN EXCUSE FOR 'I HAVE TO BE A SHUT-IN BECAUSE I’M TERRIFIED OF EVERYTHING!' EVER THINK OF THAT!?” Fluttershy was left speechless, as the words carried an impact that nopony had expected. “WHAT ABOUT YOU RARITY!? TOO BUSY IN THAT LITTLE BOUTIQUE OF YOURS TO EVEN CARE ABOUT A SHRED OF WHAT GOES ON OUTSIDE!? YOUR EXCUSE IS NO BETTER THAN SHUT-IN OVER THERE!” Rarity was about to speak, but Pinkie beat her to it. “DON’T EVEN THINK OF TRYING TO RETORT! YOUR RETORT WOULD BE JUST AS CRAPPY AS THE DRESSES YOU FAIL TO MAKE!” Rarity immediately became silent as she reflected on what she had been doing all day. “YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS TWILIGHT! “I’VE GOT TO STUDY AND HIT THE BOOKS” WHAT A COMPLETELY EMPTY EXCUSE! YOU WERE PROBABLY WRITING TO THE PRINCESS HOW MUCH YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN’T STAND ME! BUT GUESS WHAT? I FIGURED IT OUT! IN MY EYES, YOU’RE STILL THE SAME USELESS MARE WHO WAS FORCED TO COME HERE AND MAKE FRIENDS! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’VE FAILED!” Twilight shook in utter nervousness, as if having an anxiety attack. She got down on her stomach, and kept her head down, as tears kept falling from her eyes. One pony had kept quiet through all of the yelling that Pinkie had done, not wanting to interrupt her until just the right moment.
“THAT’S ENOUGH OF YOUR YELLING!” Applejack shouted at the top of her lungs, rumbling the room the mane six were in. “Look at what you’ve done! You’ve gone and made your ex friends completely miserable! What does that even get you!? A sense of pride for a job well done!?” Pinkie stuttered as her rage subsided.
“I- I-“
“It gets you nothing! You’ve earned nothing by having this long rant, except the ability to break a few hearts! Do you like what you see!? DO YOU!?” “I don’t…” Pinkie said before mumbling something very softly to herself.
“What did you say!?”
“I said… WHY DO I THINK I CAN HAVE FRIENDS!? ANSWER ME THAT!” Pinkie screamed before bursting back into tears.
“I think you can have friends because you make everyone else happy, though if you have only happiness expressed and your other emotions bottled up, the bottle will eventually explode.” Applejack said with empathy. “You’re a fine mare Pinkie, and there’s no reason to get so sad. If you need to release your emotions every once and a while, then do it. We won’t mind.”
“Thank you Applejack. That means a lot.” Pinkie said, still looking down. “I’m sorry everypony for the way I acted to you. It was completely uncalled for, and unnecessary.”
“It’s ok Pinkie. We forgive you.” Twilight said with a nurturing voice.
“But, what if this personality of mine comes out all the time?” Pinkie asked worriedly.
“Then we’ll deal with it, but know this. We will love you no matter what happens. If this personality becomes a problem, we’ll find a way to stop it.” Twilight assured. “So, we’re all done with this business right? You’re back to normal Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash asked, still hiding behind Fluttershy a little. Pinkie’s mane grew brighter as a loud almost comical pop ensued, reassuring the group that the party pony was back to normal.
Hours later
The mane six were chatting during Pinkie’s party, Pinkie of course being ecstatic that the party was being thrown for her. “And you’re sure that this won’t happen again?” Fluttershy asked nervously. “I don’t know. She just comes and goes.” Pinkie said matter-of-factly.
“Whatever the case may be, we will help you when you this personality comes out.” Rainbow Dash said confidently.
“You girls are the best!” Pinkie shouted while confetti shot out of her mane. Pinkie started bursting into dance as the rest of the group noticed with shock and horror, that one of her hairs was long, draped over the rest of Pinkie’s curls…
