The 'Dark-Side'

Chapter 1 - A 'Fake' Morning

"I am... nothing..."

The sky is… blue…

When did it become this blue? It’s always been a gloomy and boring sky every time I look at it. After wiping my spectacles with a piece of cloth, I wore it and kept the cloth in my pocket for future uses. I looked up to the sky again. From the blue sky, everything turned to dark blue with gray-ish white clouds floating, covering part of the sky. Apparently, it was my eyes that was making a fool out of me.

I let out a sigh of disappointment. I turned away from the gloomy sky before I turned gloomy as well, and walked towards the door of my house. I was in the front of my yard. This space was designed for cars to park. But since I couldn’t afford buying a car, it’s just an empty, extra space. I got a vehicle, at least, a bicycle. I left it leaning against the wall. I hadn’t been riding it since… 1 year ago, maybe? Probably longer than that.

I looked into my house. There’s a large, dark living room, waiting for me to walk into the darkness’ trap. How did I forgot to switch on the lights before I went out? I took my first step into the darkness. This probably is my rightful place. I shut the door and locked it. The room was in a total darkness, before the only light source coming in was from the outside.

I looked around the living room. There wasn’t any changes at all. My computer was sitting there, quietly. How long had it been staying with me? I had it since I was young. (Well, younger.) There’s a wooden table surrounded by two sofas. I realised. Not just the sky was gloomy, this house was gloomy too. (Or ‘infected’ by the sky itself.)

I looked up to the giant wall clock, tick-tocking. It’s 6:58 in the morning. Wow… that was… early… Why did I even woke up this early? The school bus would only arrive at 8 o’clock. Something was bothering me, and I didn’t know what it is. I couldn’t go back to my dream, there was something blocking my way to my dream world.

I went to the back of my house, where there’s a bathroom. I went inside, stepping on the blue tiles floor. I looked at the mirror. My hair was a mess; my face was a mess; I was a mess. Whenever I looked at my own reflection, the same question would pop up out of the blue. Who am I? The answer was always the same. I don’t know.

A lot of people said that everyone had their own purpose of living. Everyone had their own talent; something that they’re really good at. But what’s mine? Do I even have a purpose of living? What’s the meaning of all I’m doing right now?

The more I looked at my reflection, the worst. I turned my head away from the mirror. I walked out of the bathroom, turned my head around. Outside of my bathroom was my dining room. I had this large table, probably made for a family, but only I used it. I realised that I was alone, in the dark, again. This wasn’t the first time already. Have I been alone from the start? Well, I still had my family. My only family. Not that I missed them, since they’re terrible, in my opinion. It was because of them, I was here in the first place. But I was glad that I left, or else they’d probably sent me even ‘better’ place.

I walked back to the front living room. I pressed the switch to startup my computer. The sound of the engine in the metal case was soft, yet loud enough to hear it even at the end of the living room. Warm air started to blow from the side of the case. As the screen loaded, I sat on the chair and typed in my password. The desktop slowly appeared. The wallpaper that I’d set was a drawing by other artists. It had a word on the middle that says “Follow your Dream.” Dream. What is a dream? What is my dream?

I fell into my own imagination, or dream. I slowly closed my eyes and let the dream took over my sight. It was nothing. Pitch, black, nothingness. I didn’t had a dream. More exactly, I didn’t wanted one. For me, a dream was just a mere imagination. It was nothing but a waste of time. Dream, from what the people usually say, made us to move forward and towards our goal. Well, that’s it, I didn’t have a goal.

I’m just… living.

~*~ ~***~ ~*~

After a warm shower, I dressed up in my casual uniform. Since it was Friday, the school allowed us to wear our own uniforms, instead of those boring-looking, everyday school uniform. Of course, it still had to be a tidy, nice and smart-looking uniform. I opened and looked into my wardrobe, deciding which shirt should I wear today. I took out a shirt that was coloured with mostly black and white at the placket and collar. I looked back into the wardrobe again. Most of my shirts were black and white. Since this was the only shirt that was smart-looking, I wore it. I chose a brown coloured jean as a pair.

I went back to the bathroom and took a comb from the shelves. I looked at my own reflection again, but I wasn’t thinking of anything. I realised that my hair was too long. The bangs of my hair almost touched my right eye. I always have to wipe it out of my sight. I should get a haircut. As I combed my hair to the right side of my head, I started to wonder again. Will I stay like this forever? Being alone, in the dark, forever? What other choice do I have? "Ouch!" I closed my right eye, tears covering my sight. The hair poked my right eye. I blowed the hair away from my eye, slowly opening it. I realised the question and answer had stopped, thanks to pain. I put back the comb and walked out of the bathroom.

I went to the kitchen, of course, searching for food (What else can I do?). I opened the door of the refrigerator. For breakfast, usually I ate bread with cheese slices. Sometimes, to change the flavour, bread with peanut butter and jam. The nuttiness always make me go nuts. Well, not really. (It's just fun to say it.) I opened the door to the freezer. Darn. I ran out of cheese slices again. Well, looks like  I have to go nuts today. I pulled a chair and sat down on it, enjoying my peanut butter and jam sandwich. I looked around me. Same old wall; same old table; everything was the same. But yet, something is missing. Silence covered the whole part of the room. All I heard was the wind coming from the fan above me.

After finishing my meal, I left the plate in the basin in the kitchen, and went to my room.

I could hear the engine of the school bus in front of my house. It was honking. The bus arrived on time, after I finished packing up my books and stationaries. I wore my shoes with white socks. The shoes’ also black and white. There's a symbol of flame in white and gray at the side of the shoes. I turned around, locking the door and the gate before getting in the bus. I took a look back into my house and gave a smile. “I’ll be back...” I whispered and turned my back towards the house, taking my first step up into the bus. “I promise…”