NaPoWriMo 2014: A Compilation of Pony Tales

by Fluttercheer

Day 8: Celestia sits drunk in a bar

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It was late at night. Luna had raised the moon several hours ago and actually, it were only a few hours until Celestia had to raise the sun. Though, this was something that could turn out complicated.

In this night, several stallions sat in a bar. Usually, they were just sitting there, drinking Canterlot's finest booze and playing a card game. But not this time.

This time, they just sat there, drank Canterlot's finest booze and curiously watched the bar counter.

Not that it would have made that much difference to what they were usually doing. The card game was just a convenient excuse to sit together and drink, while they were hiding from their rabid wives at home, anyway and they barely played out a card.

But I digress.

However, at what, or rather, at who, they were staring at there at the counter, sitting on one of the barstools, was somepony special who could not be seen often there, in one of the filthier places of the big mountain city. A celebrity, if you like.

It was one of the few nights in the year where the famous Princess of the Sun came into their bar to knock back some drinks. Or a lot of them. Yes, Princess Celestia herself was sitting at the counter there. Unexpected, huh? But it was true.

Even a graceful ruler like her needed some drinks here and there to drown her sorrow (and her liver) in booze, wine, champagne, beer. And apple cider.

She was not picky about what to drink. She liked all sorts of alcohol and could take on everything. More than a thousand years of drinking experience made Celestia hardened. This was something that came in useful to the owner of the bar. Every time he invented a new and very hard drink, Celestia was willing to test it out. She was the best subject to find out how good or bad his drink was. Not many ponies could take so much. At least not before they were so drunk that they couldn't realize anymore what they were drinking. Celestia did him a big favor with that and in exchange, he listened to her when she poured out her heart at his counter.

And sometimes, she was also spilling her guts there, but he didn't mind.

He always had an ear for the princess when she came into his bar to drink and to talk about her problems.

And today was one of these nights.

Celestia just emptied her drink and ordered another one. “A-Another b-beer. Please.....” Celestia slurred. Since it was late at night, she was already completely drunk and talking began to become an obstacle. The owner of the bar filled another glas with the yellow, foamy liquid and hoofed it over to Celestia. “Thank you”, she said. Then she took a sip.

She liked the color of beer. Especially when some light from behind the counter shone through it. It reminded her on the sun. But it also reminded her on her problems, because the sun was always her problem when she came here. Or rather how ponies treated the sun.

Usually, Celestia needed quite some amount of alcohol to loosen her tongue and to make her talk about her problems. And this night was no exception. Ironically, this always just happened then when talking was already hard because the alcohol had made her tongue heavy. Of course this did not stop Celestia. And now the moment had come. The moment when Celestia started to talk away her problems. The bar's owner knew that it was time for it, her eyes had already that special expression which they always get when the drinks got her in the mood for talking.

Then she began. “Do you know what the problem of Equestria, no..... the WHOLE WORLD, is?”, she asked him with a heavy tongue.

He slowly shook his head, giving Celestia the chance to explain.

“It's ungra..... gra..... gratefulness!”

She took another sip from her beer, then put it down rapidly, a loud thump sounding through the bar and some of the beer spilling over the counter. “The ponies are all ungrateful! Do you know what I do every morning, for every pony?” She eyed him with her bloodshot eyes. The stallion could see the tiny, swollen blood vessels in her eyes.

He just nodded quietly. Of course. Everypony knew it. But in her condition, it was better to not correct her on that.

“It's the sun!”, she exclaimed. “I raise the sun! Every morning! Can you imagine that? I'm able to raise the sun! Isn't that something special?” She laughed out loud and then took another sip from her beer.

“But nopony appreciates it!”, she continued after having put her beer down again. “They see how I raise the sun, but they pay no attention..... This not would have happened a thousand years ago. B-Back then, the ponies looked into the sky and said: 'Oh, thank you, dear Celestia, our princess! Our mother of the sun! Our holy, generous ruler!' They said that every morning! They even had wrote a prayer for the sun!”

Celestia's patient listener nodded again, while Celestia took another sip, a bigger one this time, almost emptying the glass.

“And what is today? Today, they only do this silly, little celebration once in a year! They call it the 'Summer Sun Celebration'! Only one time in a year, they pay attention to the sun! In the rest of the year, they just take it for granted.” Her eyes would take on a glazed look now, if they already hadn't this look. Then she emptied her glass before continuing.

“They think it's just natural that the sun rises every morning! Nopony thinks about it anymore that their beloved ruler is responsible for it that they can profit from the sun's life-spending power! And when I have overslept one day, they immediately complain and ask me what is taking so long..... It's never possible for me to sleep a few hours longer, not even on a quiet day *hick* without many duties..... And it takes so much concentration to raise the sun every day! But is anypony thinking about that? No. They are all just ungrateful. They have no respect for their ruler anymore!”

Celestia burped and then she activated her magic, lifting up a bottle of booze beside her to fill the now empty glass with it.

Usually, small glasses were used for booze. But the times were Celestia was content with small portions like that lied far, far in the past. She needed more now and so she filled the booze in the big beer glass that she just emptied. Or at least she tried. The control of her magic didn't work so well anymore and her grip on the bottle was shaky. She moved it over to the glass, almost dropping it, and needed three attempts to aim at the glass properly. A few drops of the precious booze were wasted while she was trying. After she had finally managed to fill the glass, she put the bottle down, motioned the glass over to her mouth and gulped down the liquid sensation in one go.

Yes, Celestia was well-trained in the art of drinking. But even for her, there were borders and limitations. And she had almost reached her personal limit now.

After having gulped down the booze and put the glass down again, she chuckled. “Iiiiiisn't it ironiiiiiiic?”, she asked the barkeeper in front of her. Her voice sounded even more abused by the alcoholic liquids, that she was gulping down for the whole night, than before.

“Myyyy s-sister. I remember my sissssster complaining one dayyyyyy about nopony appreciating her night! Her precious, wonderful, dark night! And noooooow, I'm sitting here, complaining about it that noooopony apprecates the sun! Ha Ha Ha!” A loud, slurred laughter emerged from her throat.

The stallions at the back end of the bar joined in on the laughter, amused by what the princess told.

She turned around, wonky and unsure if she would fall of the bar stool in the next moment. “Funny, isn't it?”, she asked them in her from alcohol throbbing voice.

She tried to turn around to the barkeeper again and fell really from her stool now. And needed five whole minutes to get up and take seat on it again, so drunk was she by now.

“I guess the tables are tur..... tur.... tur.....” She gave up. “Everything is different nowwwwww.”

She looked up to the barkeeper with her from alcohol worn-out face. “You know what? They will apprecate my sun! I wiiiiil took care of thaaaaat!”

The barkeeper raised an eyebrow. He knew that it began to become dangerous when Celestia couldn't use proper grammar anymore.

“They will! They will! They will!”, she said. Then she turned around to the windows. She had free sight on the moon from her position.

“Tiiiiiiiiime to raise..... the SUN!” She knew that it was still a few hours too early to let it become day, but in her state, she didn't care. In fact, that's what she wanted, raising the sun a few hours earlier than usual.

“They will get more hours of sun today, ifffffff they lik ittttt or not! And if they still don't apprecate IIIII will raise it even earlier tomorrow! And iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif thaaaaaaaaaaaat doesn't help, I will create E-E-Eternal Day!” She laughed maniacally. “Mwahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
The Princess of the Sun pointed with her hooves at the window and the moon outside and waved them around mysteriously.

“Simsalabim! Abracadabra!” Then her horn lit up and the moon began to shake. It circled around the night sky for some moments, before it abruptly fell behind the horizon, making the night darker than it usually was.

“Clonk!”, Celestia commented her action.

Then the sun rose wonky up into the sky, did some loops and then finally reached her usual position.

Satisfied, Celestia sat up a crooked smile. “There! It's day! No go out and wo-wo-wo-worship it!”

Celestia faced the barkeeper again. “What is with you? Doooooo youuuuuu like the sun?”, she asked him provocative, a expression in her eyes that would have been called a stern one, if her eyes weren't so distorted by the alcohol in her royal body that nopony could tell anymore what expression they showed.

The barkeeper began to sweat a little, but stayed calm. He knew this reactions from Celestia already.

“Yes”, he said short and crisp and confirmed his statement with a nod.

“That's good! The suuuuun is important! Wiiiiiiithout it, you would staaaaarve!” She looked at her empty glass for a moment. “And there would be no beer without it!”, she added. Then she laughed again.

“And now give me another glass!”, she demanded.

Now, the barkeeper began to become nervous. He knew that Celestia had enough and that she shouldn't drink anymore for tonight, errrr...... today, but telling her that was another page of the book.

“Eh.....”, he began carefully. “I think your royal highness of the sun had e-enough for tonight. You should try something lighter. How about a glass of apple juice?”

“Apple juice!?” Celestia became furious. How could that little peasant say that! She could drink much more than what she consumed in the past night!

Her voice became threatening. “Give me more beer immediaaaaaately, or I will put this glass where the sun neveeeeeeer–“

The door of the bar opened with a bang.

Interrupted, Celestia turned around to see who dared to do that.

It was Luna.

She trotted up to Celestia. “You do have enough, sister.”

“Don't tell me how much I can drink!” Celestia proceeded to lash out on her younger sister, but before she could, Luna hold her with her magic.

Usually, this wasn't so easy, but now that Celestia was drunk, she was easier to tame.

“Actually, I can.”, she answered shortly. She looked at the barkeeper. “I hope my sister had not caused any trouble this time.”

“No, she didn't”, the barkeeper assured her. “You just came before she could!”

Luna nodded. Then she looked to Celestia again. “It's time to go home, my sister. You need sleep. I will take on your day duties for you today.”

She put the magical grip more firmly around her and dragged her out of the bar, curiously eyed by the stallions who still sat at their table. Seeing two princesses was an even bigger attraction than one.

“Farewell, Princess Sunbutt!”, the stallions joked about her. They wouldn't dare to say something like that usually, but they knew that Celestia would have forgotten that anyway after she had became sober again and so they dropped their respect for her for a moment.

“The day..... will last..... FOREVER!”, Celestia answered to them and then she and Luna left the bar, the door shutting close behind them with a loud bang.


Author's Note

Half of my total word goal for the NaPoWriMo reached with this fic! Woooooooooooh! :D

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