When the booty doesn't call....

by EPP

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1251

To make himself feel better, and to prove that he's a good friend Prism decided to help Fletcher with picking up chicks. What he didn't know, is that it isn't Fletcher who needs help with that.

Prism had rough time lately, few new fights with Illusion, getting even more scolding from his mother than usual and to top it all off, Fletcher, a super handsome mare magnet walked into his life.

So what else is to do with somepony like Fletcher, other when teaching him how to pickup mares?

Not that he needed that help anyways.

[A/N] Fletcher, Prism and Whirlwind all belong to kilala97

Published 2014-11-02 22:10:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-02 22:10:07 UTC

....you call it yourself.

“I’m not doing this.” Fletcher stated as he and Prism walked side by side through the Ponyville streets.

“You have to! If you want me to teach you how to pick up chicks, you must do the Bro’s oath!”

“No.”

“Oh come on dude!” Prism ran ahead of him and stopped, blocking his way “You wanted me to help you socialize right?”

“Yes, I wanted your help with getting some friends, but I don’t remember asking you for a help in romance.”

“Fine, here’s the deal, you’ll come with me this time, and then we will work on your social skills, how’s that?”

Fletcher pondered on his offer for a moment before nodding “Sounds good.”

“But you have to do the oath!”

“Oh for the love of… Fine!” He blurted out and cleared his throat “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Just do it!”

“In brightest day, in blackest night, no booty shall escape my sight.” Fletcher recited and felt his cheeks getting red from all the embarrassment.

On the other hoof Prism was having a great time.

“Here! You happy now?”

“Oh I am, all right then let’s go to the…. Whirlwind?”

“I don’t think there will be many mares in whirlwind, it’s a bit dangerous if you ask me, but…”

“What? No! I mean that mare which is coming our way, her name is…”

“Whirlwind, my name’s Whirlwind.” Mentioned mare shouted as she quickly made her way towards two colts.

“It’s very nice to meet you Ms. Whirlwind, I am Fletcher.”

“Oh I know who you are.” She said dragging every word.

Fletcher smiled, for stallions his smile was nothing else than expression, but when he smiles towards mares, they usually melt.

This time was no different.

“So, what are you doing here?” Prism asked and brought his attention to his hooves, trying to look like he doesn’t care. “Whirlwind?” He raised his eyebrow and waved his hoof right in front of Whrilwind’s dreamy expression. “Hello! Equestria to Whirlwind.”

“Huh? Oh. I’m sorry I think I zoned out here for a seconds.” She said and looked over to Fletcher who now was not only smiling, he was smiling with concern.

“So what are you boys up to?”

“Long story or a short story?” Prism asked.

“Short.”

“I’m teaching this guy right here how to pick up chicks.” He answered with a tone of pride in his voice.

“What? You are teaching him?” Whirlwind asked and when Fletcher nodded in response she started to laugh and roll on the ground.

“What?! What’s so funny?”

“Oh nothing, really it’s just, you teaching him how to get mares…. Oh my goodness!”

Prism looked at Whirlwind with growing frustration he sighed and waved his hoof “Come Fletch, let’s leave her alone.”

“Won’t that be mean?”

“Yeah, won’t that be mean, Prismy?” Whirlwind asked trying to sound like Prince Illusion.

Prism felt his cheeks redden, not from embarrassment, but from rage.

“Before he will do something he will regret later.” Fletcher quickly said “Miss Whirlwind, maybe you would like to come with us?”

Prisms head hit the floor as he decided that regular facehoof was not enough.

“Oh really? You would like me to come with you?” She asked batting her eyelashes.

“Of course, maybe you could help Prism in teaching me how to talk with mares properly.”

“Ha! See Prism? Even he knows that I am better then you at talking with other mares! In your muzzle!”

“Guhh…” He mumbled with his muzzle still connected to earth.

“Oh sure I’ll come, maybe I’ll get some colt for myself.” She added

Fletcher cocked his eyebrow. “Colt?”

“Emm yes?” Prism’s ears perked up and he raised his head as he felt something good coming.

“So you aren’t homosexual?”

“…”

“Pff…..” It was Prism turn to roll in the dirt barely holding his laughter in.

Whirlwind stood there agape not fully comprehending what just happened.

“Y-Y-You thought that I was a l-l-lesbian?! Why?”

“Well you don’t really look like other mares, you’re quite manly so I thought.”

“Hey! I might be a bit tomboyish but not manly!”

“Ohh sorry, did I use wrong word again?” Fletcher asked and scratched his head while Prism couldn’t hold his laughter in any longer.

“What are you laughing at?!”

“Nothing! Really nothing! Mister Whirlwind Pfff.”

Whirlwinds cheeks went red and she felt steam leaving her nostrils.

“I’m sorry I used the word manly instead of boyish, I shall never make this mistake again.”

“Oh whatever, can we just go?”

Prism finally stood on all four again, he was starting to calm himself “O-Ok, l-let’s go to our destination, Ponyville park!”

Whirlwind raised her eyebrow “That’s where you’re going to “pickup chicks”?” She asked making quotation marks with her hoofs.

“Hey, at this time of the day there are a lot of ponies in that place, most of them are mares, there will probably be a few colts as well but…”

“But what?”

“You sure you don’t want to stick to the mares like us?”

“Shut up.”

Fletcher frowned feeling that what’s going on is partially his fault.

But only partially.

“Well then without further ado! Let’s go!”

*****

“Well, this place is more popular than I thought.” Whirlwind commented as she stood in front of what looked like dozens of ponies of different shape, color and gender, however mostly female.

“I told ya.”

“So what do we do?” Fletcher asked.

“Well first you need to choose a target.”

“Oh I can do that, but what should I look at when I’m choosing.”

“Well, her mane, her fur, her legs but most importantly, the booty.”

Fletcher sighed “Can’t you just pick for me?”

“I guess I can, since it’s your first time and all.”

Prism looked around and judged each mare until he found one the one, it was a very beautiful mare with pure white fur and perfectly contrasting black and long mane.

And most importantly, she had da booty.

“All righty! You’ll be taking that one.”

Fletcher nodded and went forward without any hesitation in his steps.

“So, what is up with this whole pickup teaching?” Whirlwind asked.

“Oh he asked me to help him socialize.”

“And you do that by trying to compromise him?”

“Whatever would you mean by that?”

“So it isn’t the coincidence that you picked probably the hottest mare in here as his first “target”?”

Prism scratched his head and chuckled “Maybe?”

For few moments silence fell upon them, it was getting awkward and Prism hated these moments, especially if he shared those with Whirlwind.

“Prism.”

“Yeah?”

“When he will get rejected and come back here, let’s get out flanks from here and lets really try to teach him a bit about social life. I mean he’s pretty cool, and smoking hot but…. Let’s just say that he happens to say wrong things.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, when he comes back here ashamed I’ll…”

“Prism?” Whirlwind stared at him for few moments and tried to get him to response but to no avail, she noticed that he keeps his gaze on something so she followed it until she realized what he was looking at.

It was Fletcher smiling as the white mare was either chuckling, batting her eyelashes or simply moving closer and closer to the said colt.

“Hey I think your plan backfired.” Whirlwind said. “I think I’m really starting to like this guy.”

“Oh you do?” Prism asked.

“Good, cause I’m really starting to hate this guy.”