Video Game Characters vs Ponies ERB!

by CurveBall

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover
Length: 5663

The rap battles of Ponyville with video game characters!

Any pony can rap, according to these battles! I can take your favourite ponies and put them against your favourite game characters. There WILL be cursing from both sides at times, so be mature enough and don't complain about somepony like Pound Cake saying "Bitch!". I will take some time to look up the most liked comment that has an idea for a battle, look up history if I don't know the character, discover some rap lines, and have a rap battle. Enjoy!

Published 2014-11-03 03:30:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-06 12:42:04 UTC

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! #2 Sweetie Belle vs. Clementine (TWD Season 2)

The young filly gulped as she looked out into the large crowd. She had just seen Rainbow Dash go up against "The Scout", and some pretty personal stuff was said. Her two best friends were beside her and looking out into the crowd as well.

"Its not that I'm scared, it's just that I'm worried about my opponent saying something personal to me in front of ALL of Ponyville." Sweetie Belle said, gulping once more at the thought.

"So, you are scared that something personal will be said?" Scootaloo asked with a raised brow.

"No- uhh... yeah." She said looking at the ground. She felt a hoof pat her on the back.

"Don't worry 'bout that, you'll do fahne. Yer opponent won't know a thing 'bout ya." Apple Bloom said in a comforting voice.

Sweetie nodded. "Thanks girls."

Then, a steady beat began to play.

"I guess that's our cue. Good luck Sweetie Belle!" Scootaloo said as she and Apple Bloom walked off the stage.

"Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!"

"Sweetie Belle!"

Sweetie Belle waved to the crowd and received a bunch of loud cheers. Her sister called out, "Go Sweetie!" at the top of her lungs.

"Versus!..."

Sweetie turned to face the curtain.

"Clllleeemmentiiine! Begin!" The announcer finished as a little girl walked out with a weird looking machine in her hands.

I'm glad to meet you, Ms. Clementine.
You were the only survivor of your whole group of nine.
Now I can prove that you are the worst
I'm so excited that I could just burst!
Zombies aren't a problem for me, my friend
Everypony knows you'll just die in the end.
How hard is it to survive the undead?
You wouldn't know, because your just a big blockhead!

You'd better think twice before battling the best.
My rhymes are so slick, I'll wear them like a vest.
You're just a 1 foot tall marshmallow who can't do anything right
Doesn't look like anyone wants to get with you tonight.
My aim is fantastic, your crusading is tragic.
You're 13 and still can't use magic?
I have the very best friend around
When yours can't even have her wings take her off the ground.

You think your so tough just 'cause you have a gun?
Me and my friends are cool and we just play in the sun.
Let's go back to season one, your best friend is gone
Lee ain't the only person you put on the line
You wanna come at me? Well, then FINE!

THAT'S IT!
All you are is a bitch! Just fun-loving snitch!
You wanna talk about Lee, let's talk about your sister.
She finds you harder to handle then a critter.
I pass through mobs of the undead, you can't pass a test!
You say I'm the worst? Well my game is the best!

Who won? Who's next?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!

Author's Note

So here is the last one I do on my opinion, from now on, you decide the battles. See you guys next time!!!

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! #3 Big Macintosh vs. Little Mac (Punch Out!!!)

The humble stallion stood on stage as the lighting swiftly swept through the crowd as entertainment after and before battles. Big Macintosh wasn't one to talk a lot, let alone rap, so it was doubted he would win this battle in any way.

Then, a steady beat came into play.

"Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!"

The crowd began to cheer as the booming anonymous announcer read his line.

"Big Macintosh!"

The crowd was half-silent, half-crazy.

"Versus!..."

All eyes landed on the curtain, they were expecting another skinny, weak looking teenager to walk out, but what did shocked them.

A muscular man walked out of the curtain and began throwing random punches to get some adrenaline pumping. He had green boxing gloves on both hands.

"Lllllitttlllee Maaaacccc! Begin!"

Hello there, Macintosh
I see you have my name
But you would be flat on your back unconscious
If you were in my game.
I have a champion coach, willing to teach me his skills
Yours is just a farmgirl who would make you work and take pills.
Little Mac is too powerful for you, so pack up your bags and walk away
Because your eyes will be spinning in circles by the end of the day.

Eeyup, it seems to be feeding time for you
I'll hang you upside down and make you a bloody pulp, too.
I'm the strongest in Ponyville, you went down in three matches
I can take a thousand hits from you and still not have any scratches.
Now it's impressive for a kid your age to win,
But battling you kid, I swear it's a sin.

I'm tired Doc, I can't take anymore
This horse's raps are as boring as a chore.
I won a championship for knocking out Bruiser
You only win chicken calling you loser.
I'm about to take you back to school like I did Mike Tyson.
Battling me is like herding a hundred bison.
You still think you can beat me, huh big mister?
You still have dreams of a manage a trois with your sisters.

Nope, none of what you said is true.
I'm gonna need a mop to wipe the floor with you.
Your fists are made a of colors you got from Crayola
My rhymes are sicker than a patient that has Ebola.
Your championships are names, doesn't mean you have fame.
I'm done, because this fat joke is lame.

Who won? Who's next?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!!!

ace_attorneyfan800: Big Macintosh vs. Little Mac

Author's Note

I didn't use a lot of Little Mac's story in this one. So, I hope you enjoyed this battle! See you guys next time!!!

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! #4 Princess Celestia vs. GLaDOS (Portal 1&2)

The mighty princess stood on stage with a smile as the crowd bowed to her. It was highly unlikely that she would say anything bad considering she was a kind-hearted princess who loved almost everything that wasn't evil.

A steady beat began to play.

"Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!"

The crowd was silent, all staring at Celestia. Celestia nodded, and the crowd roared with excitement.

"Princess Celestia!"

Celestia took a bow to the crowd as they cheered for her. They were soon silenced as some kind of machine with an orange eye in the middle what was thought to be the head.

"Versus!..."

Celestia smirked.

"GLaDOS!" Played a robotic voice. "Begin!"

Good morning Celestia, I must say
You have created the most perfect of days.
Sad enough my test subjects can't see it
Nor will the princess of some four-legged miscreants.
I am powerful, a machine built to persuade.
Not some colorful princess pony who can't rule for a decade.
Sending your favourite student out to die a million times!
I admit it, I killed scientests with gas, more like your rhymes.

The ponies were somewhat scared of this machine. Celestia noticed their fears.

Do not be afraid my little ponies
This worthless machine is just a phony.
I have been threw the worst, banished my own sister to the moon.
Don't worry I've saved a spot for you, since you'll be going soon.

I'm going to where, Ms. Sunbutt?
You, the transit of six muts?
One of them a nut?
One of them you'd rut?
You have no personal business with rapping
My friendly cube will send you packing.
I'll unleash a portal and push you through
And since there's nothing that you can do
I'll beat you in a fury and rule your equines, too.

Celestia stood there, eyes wide at the speed of this machine's rapping. The crowd all had their mouths dropped.

Celestia cleared her throat.

I'm the ruler of your world
And whatever state of mind your in
I refuse to let this little tin can win.
I can teach how shut up in go home in a bit.
You where ended by a subject who YOU trained
You can't talk about my subjects, I will send you to Tartarus, and that's it.

The machine soon sparked and fell off its body. The crowd cheered and Celestia smirked.

"What the matter? You've never seen a princess rap before?"

Who won? Who's next?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!!!

Flaring Moonlight: GLaDOS vs Celestia

Author's Note

If this was a little hard to understand, let me be clear...

I had no idea what I was doing.

If you enjoyed it... you must have liked my rapping more than I thought.
See you guys next time!!!

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! #5 Twilight Sparkle vs. Phoenix Wright (Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney)

The cheering fans in the crowd got even louder as the Princess of Friendship walked on stage. She turned and waved to the crowd as she stood and waited for the music to play.

What puzzled her was that her opponent wasn't afraid to show his face. He wore a suit with a red tie and had his mane (or what they called "hair") spiked in the back.

The music played at a steady beat.

"Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!" Boomed the announcer. The crowd went wild.

"Phoenix Wright!"

The crowd was silent as they stared at the attorney. One of Fluttershy's crickets could be heard in the crowd.

"Versus!..."

Stop right there
I've prepared a speech to announce before I whoop your ass.
Something I can say as my cutie mark's stars pass.
It reads, "The late Phoenix Wright was sent back to Edgeworth by a pony."
I'll beat you, and serve you with a side of baloney.
Actually, that's the only word even I can think of that describes you.
No wait, loser and boring too.
And my friends say I have powerful magic?
When you win your trials, that would use some, and their tragic.

OBJECTION!
My trials are perfection, you're a princess
Come to America, and have a real election.
I'd drop the hammer upon you
Harder than any of your lazy friends can do.
Element of Magic? This ain't a kids show.
At least it was meant to be. Now I don't even know.

Spike?! Take a letter, and write what I say
"I hereby dub Phoenix Wright the asshole of the day."

I'm sorry Twi, I didn't mean to ruin this for you
What? You're going to send a baby dragon after me?
And an owl, too?

Be careful what you say, I still have friends in the audience
We're going to inform your client that tomorrow you have absence.

The Mane 6 gathered in Twilight's corner.

HOLD IT!
Judge, I wish to defend
Myself in trial after I make these ponies meet their end.
You still think animals can beat me, you prick?
Well all six of you can all suck my-

Suddenly, Phoenix was, thankfully to most, interrupted when a bright light appeared in the middle of the stage. The man that came out had no hair. He was wearing a green t-shirt with jeans on. He was wearing a pair of glasses. It was Nice Peter.

I'm here to inform you all that this battle will end on a different note
And Phoenix let me stop your sucking before you choke.
I'm the master of rap battles, that I made throughout history.
The reason why you were bad growing up is still a complete mystery.
You defended people in trials, and most of them you've won.
But I'm gonna make this loss for you the second one, son.

And as for you, Ms. Twilight
The book series "Twilight" is more interesting than you
I'll split your little friendship in half with my Chuck Norris kung foo.

Both of you suck
Even more than this unicorn's luck
And I can confirm that both of you
Are as boring as-

Who won? Who's next?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!!!

ace_attorneyfan800: Twilight Sparkle vs. Phoenix Wright

Author's Note

You guys see what I did there? Yeah? No?

Nice job Peter.

See you guys next time!!!

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! #6 Wonderbolts vs. Task Force 141 a.k.a. Simon "Ghost" Riley and John "Soap" MacTavish (Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2)

Author's Note

I decided to make another one just to speed up the process of rap battles. I looked and found one immediately with 2 likes that, of course right now is tied with another comment. See you guys next time!!!

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! #6 Wonderbolts vs. Task Force 141 a.k.a. Simon "Ghost" Riley and John "Soap" MacTavish (Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2)

The captain and rookie stood on stage with confident looks in their eyes as the crowd, led by Rainbow Dash, unleashed the loudest cheer yet.

"This is gonna be easy." Soarin said to Spitfire.

"I wonder what two kids we are up against." Spitfire said with confidence.

A steady beat that sounded of helicopters and gunfire played.

"Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!"

"Here we go." Spitfire said looking toward the curtain.

"The Wonderbolts!"

The crowd, again led by Rainbow Dash, had an uproar.

"Versus!..."

The crowd gasped as two men walked out. One had face paint to look like the mud on the ground, and another had a mask that looked partially like a ghost.

"Task Force 141! Begin!"

I'll start this one off
Hi my name is Soarin'
I'm the best rookie flyer around
I use wings, when you use a helicopter to get above ground.
They recycled your game three times?
I don't need to be re-used, I'm still in my prime!
Hey Soap! I have a question for you from my peers.
How long does it take to kill somepony? A few years?

What in bloody hell are you talkin' about?
Still in your prime? You hit the ground almost every time!
I'll hang you on a pole, stick my knife down your throat.
Look, you got blood on my coat, mate!
They call me Ghost for a reason, your nickname don't matter.
I'll crush you and flash with my 9-banger.
Then I'll take my ACR, aim it right at your head
Pull the trigger once, and your dead.

I'm gonna finish this battle air bound
You talk a lot of smack, so let me put you down.
I'm Spitfire, Equestria's hottest.
And not just hot on flying, stallions consider me a goddess.
I'm the leader of my group
Your just a fail of a captain, you shouldn't even be a troop!
You both got killed in a fashionable way
Now only your skeletons get to see the light of day.
Ghost got fired, Soap got shanked and then blown to pieces.
Your features will be rearranged in places
Your faces could never be, and be tied in laces.
Say Ghost? How's Roach?
And Soap? Where's Yuri?
Price couldn't beat me in Cloudsdale
And then all of you will be buried.

I'll admit, you do rap fast
But it was a mistake to talk about my past.
Price is three times the captain you'll ever be.
Go and play hopscotch with Angel in Everfree.
I'll make sure you won't see the end of this day.
I kill overconfident brats like you, so you'd better pray.
First, I bring in my AC-130 and make it rain bullets on your parade.
Second, I'll land a Predator Missile on the two other members of the gay ballet.
And last, I'll rip a knife out of my chest, and throw it in your eye.
Therefore, killing your pride.

Who won? Who's next?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!

OFWGKTA iOptimumReaper: Spitfire and Soarin VS Captain John "Soap" MacTavish and Lieutenant Simon "Ghost" Riley (MW2)

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! Season 1 Finale Pinkie Pie vs. Trevor Phillips (Grand Theft Auto 5)

The pink and excited pony hopped all around the stage with an enthusiastic look on her face. She had been waiting for her turn to rap, and this was the last battle of the night.

Then a steady beat began to play and the pink pony stopped in her place.

"Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!"

The crowd cheered and so did the pony on stage.

"Pinkie Pie!"

Pinkie Pie took out a plate of cupcakes and stuffed them all in her mouth at once. Suddenly, she started shaking uncontrollably.

"Versus!..."

The crowd gasped as a man emerged from the curtain. He had a strange mane-cut with the words "Cut Here" under a dotted line on his neck. He had machine that looked a lot like the one that Clementine had, only bigger, and looked powerful.

"Treeeeevvvvoooorrrr Phiiiiiilllliiiiipppps! Begin!"

Pinkie then exploded with a sugar rush.

I'm not one to be a meanie weenie Pinkie
But I would to say, you're even weaker than Dinky!
I take of two twins with love, you take care of enemies with violence!
And so do all the members of your meanie alliance.
You wanna talk big game? But Pinkie is the name!
I don't understand how stealing a money truck gave you fame!
What's wrong Trevie? Can't handle me?
Well start feeling thankful there can no longer be two of me.
I grew up on a rock farm, you rob banks to get money.
You want your turn to talk? Well okie dokie lokie!

I'll blow your head off with this minigun in a pinch.
And the world will thank me for getting rid of this bitch.
Your friends find you a annoying, even you sisters are boring.
You're the only girl that is feminine, but not resistant to snoring.
I'll blow a sniper at your head and bury you six feet deep.
The only thing that you did all your life was live amongst a store of peeps.
You wanna talk about money? Boy, that's funny.
You rent yourself a room on top of Sugar Cube Corner, sonny.
Don't worry about your friend Rainbow Dash's career.
'Cause I'll steal an RPG and shove it right up her rear.

Pinkie Pie's mane then poofed into a straight cut.

"Now, he's done it." Twilight said.

Hahahahaha
I'm Pinkamena, the only pony that gives a fright.
With me in your town, you wouldn't want to sleep ever at night.
Don't ever stick with my other personality, that would only be bait
For me to trap you in a room and make a new batch of cupcakes.
I'm friends with a knife, that I used to gut Trixie.
I even made Fluttershy into a monster, I behold a power don't you see?
When you look into my eyes your heart races and mind starts numbing.
Oh look, your numbers up. There is no use in running.

Trevor seemed to be even angrier than he was in his last verse.

SCARED OF YOU, HAH, YOU'D BETTER BE DREAMING
I'M LOADED WITH A GUN SO YOU'D BETTER START RETREATING!
I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOUR LITTLE CUPCAKES NOR YOU
EVEN WHEN I'M DRUNK I'M EVEN SMARTER THAN YOU.
I CREATED KILLING WHEN YOU TOP CUPCAKES WITH FILLING
I KILL YOUR LANDLORDS! THEIR TWINS! AND THAT LEAVES YOU!
ME, MICHEAL AND FRANKLIN WILL MAKE A MESS HERE, AND ALL OF EQUESTRIA WE WILL RUE!

"Sorry everypony, the rap battles are now over, why don't you go check out some of my other stories like- GAAAHHH!"

The person who was announcing suddenly fell on the stage and behind him stood a large man. Since the lights were out, it was impossible to see him.

The ponies stood in suspense as they didn't know what was going on.

"Its not over yet..."

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! Season 2! Coming out November 18th.

Author's Note

Sorry guys, I did my own for this one and that was because no one really suggested anything. For those who are wondering why Discord vs. Sheogorath was not picked was because I felt that would be good for another time, but I will not tell you when.

Look forward for season 2 of these battles and season 5 of MLP!

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! Season 2 #1 Vinyl Scratch vs. Jeremy Fitzgerald (Five Nights at Freddy's 2)

Author's Note

Sorry it's late, my kindle wouldn't charge and it was dead. Here is the first battle for Season 2. Enjoy!

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! Season 2 #1 Vinyl Scratch vs. Jeremy Fitzgerald (Five Nights at Freddy's 2)

The DJ pony is waiting for her opponent on the stage. The crowd chatting amongst themselves asking questions like "Who's her opponent?" or "Who was that who killed the announcer?". Some asked "Should we call the guards?"

But here was the DJ, waiting on stage for the music to start, her glasses tossed to the side, revealing her ruby red eyes.

Then, a steady, but slow, beat began to play.

Vinyl thought to herself as the "new announcer" picked up the microphone. She thought if she could help with the music after her battle, and even if she could be the announcer.

"Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!"

The crowd cheered as they awaited the arrival of rapper number two.

"D-J-P0N3!"

"Versus!..."

Vinyl smirked.

"Jeremy Fiiitttzgeeeeerrrralllllldddd! Began!"

A man emerged from the darkness wearing a strange mask that resembled that of a bear.

I'm b-b-b-b-big Vinyl Scratch, and its about to get serious.
I'm burning up and my following rhymes are furious.
I created rap music, you made first-person lame!
I can't believe that fears are actually brought from your game.
Take that mask off your face
So we can at least see your race.
I'm way to fast for you, but still, pick up the pace!
I don't need any element to be known,
I have fans in the thousands, ones I make fanboy prone!
You were fired after 6 nights, they took away your doors.
The thing scarier than you monsters are their own Rule 34s.

No doors? No problem.
I have it made.
You say Rule 34? Look how many times your fans had you laid!
I'm alone in the dark with nothing but a creepy cupcake.
You? Fast? Ha, give me a break.
I get more money in a week than you do in a year.
I'm stressed, but I still don't pick up a beer.
If I can handle 11 animatronics, I can beat you.
Run back to your roomate, join her with the rest of the side characters, too.

I'll kick your ass!
I'll leave broken! Under the pass!
The money you make is cheaper than brass!
I got my friends to the left, wubs to the right!
I'll tell you now you won't last another night!
My eardrums are rock solid! You're just a little pest!
I can last till day, your stuffed animals will put you to rest.

You wanna survive five nights? Well go ahead.
Oh yeah, better keep the Marionette in bed.
Don't forget to take care of the new toys as well.
If you don't, they will send you to hell.
Save your flashlight for Foxy, keep Balloon Boy out!
Once you hear "Hello." you'll know when he is about.
The Mangle is dangerous, and makes a static sound.
Put the mask on quick when the old robots are inbound.
What's wrong, DJ? Too tough to handle?
You can just except the fact that I blew you out like a candle.
I'm more of an officer than your pony friends will ever be.
You want to know who's the best? Well guess what? IT'S ME!

Who won? Who's next?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! #2 Apple Bloom vs. Ellis (Left 4 Dead 2)

The little filly was pacing back and forward on the stage with one thing on her mind.

I cannot lose. I cannot lose. I cannot lose!

She knew that ponies like Diamond Tiara were out there, waiting, just waiting to watch her mess up.

Then a steady, but for some odd reason static, beat began to play.

"Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!"

Apple Bloom gulped as she drowned out the cheering.

"Apple Bloom!"

Apple Bloom remained motionless.

"Versus!..."

Apple Bloom shook her head to wake herself back to reality and turned to face the curtain. The man that came out was what look like a young one. He had a hat upon his head with a shirt that read "Bullshifters" on it. He was surprisingly cute to her, but she shook that off a proceeded with her nervousness.

"Eeeellllllllliiiiiisss! Begin!"

Haha, have I ever told ya 'bout the time?
I was puttin' my guns down to fight with rhyme?
It's not my style to fight usually.
But for you, I can fight while killin' zombies in my prime.
Back in 2009, my game was made.
And still it's one of the most games played.
Not to mention that I am the chosen character for my campaign.
Come hell and high water? More like Heavy Rain.

Apple Bloom found herself searching for words in retaliation to Ellis' verse.

Um.... Ah, uhhmm.

What's wrong Bloom? Don't like spotlight.
It don't shine as bright as I do, am I right?

...

I believe the reason you can't rap is 'cause you don't care and
I'd call you a son of a bitch if you had parents.
Think of that as compliment and don't take no glitches
'Cause I got my own instructions, kill all sons o' bitches.

Apple Bloom had a face of shock at that verse, and her eyes started to tear up. She was on the verge of crying, when suddenly...

A filly on a scooter jumped up onto the stage wearing a helmet. She had a violet mane with the same color eyes and an orange coat to go along with it. Along side her was a unicorn with a pink and violet mane. She was totally white with mint green eyes.

"Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle?" Apple Bloom said as she wiped away tears. Sweetie Belle turned around and with a comforting look, put her hoof on her shoulder.

"Let us take care of this." She said. Apple Bloom nodded.

How dare you talk to my friend that way!
You talk about this Keith allot, are you gay?
You should've fallen off that bridge or have a Tank punch you in.
I bet you will take your group six feet under with your heroine.
And that's just a taste of what your punishment is.
When I grab the mic this turns to show biz.

Your friend can't rap, so you send a chicken to battle me?
I can kill Rainbow with a swipe from my machete.

I believe you are leaving one out
I have even more power than Mike Trout.
I'll make a bloodbath with your group, and your tolerant to fruit?
No wonder why you can't handle the truth.
I'll make a slingshot out of your stupid overalls.
The only thing you can do is make bird calls.

You got beat once, you sure you want to again?
Move out of the way stop sticking up for your friend!
I mean come on, you two are annoying
Sweetie stop cooking, and Scoot enough tomboying.

Let me step in, Ah've got more courage then ya think
Ah just needed to listen a bit ta ya the weakest link.
Yer creators could never make a third game!
True, Ah have no parents, but at least Ah have a brain.
Seriously? Yer going to bully mah friends?
Yer no better that Tiara in the stands.
Y'all keep actin' this way, you ain't gotta future
Why don't you translate this, va te faire foutre.

Who won? Who's next?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!

Author's Note

Hey! It's been a while.

I was waiting to find a comment that had an idea that at least one person liked,but I guess not.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, comment who you would like to see next and I'll do it.

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! #1 Rainbow Dash vs. Scout (TF2)

Author's Note

I will admit, this battle might be bad, but it's harder than I thought to come up with good raps that somehow make sense. If you don't understand some, give me a break, I didn't plan this in advance. It was an idea that just popped into my head. Anyway, enjoy. Oh, and also, I made the first line of each verse a certain color to identify who is rapping.

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! #1 Rainbow Dash vs. Scout (TF2)

The stage was lit and a crowd of ponies settled under the star-covered sky. The crowd consisted of hundreds of fillies, colts, mares, and stallions alike. Ever since the fliers reading rap battles will be taking place in town square, it has been the buzz around Equestria.

Rainbow Dash was on stage with a mic in her hoof as she waited eagerly for the battle to start. She had volunteered to be the first contestant in this rap battle once it was rumoured. One thing she didn't know was... where was her opponent? The one she would embarrass on stage and pwn into the next generation. That's when the music started playing in a well balanced beat.

"Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!" The announcement ran throughout the crowd as cheers soon started to be heard. "Rainbow Dash!" Rainbow jumped into a spotlight in the middle of the stage and posed for the crowd. The light reflecting off her mane caused a rainbow to form above her. The crowd cheered with intensity. "Versus!..."

Suddenly, a small white ball with red stitching ran right past Rainbow and into the crowd. Rainbow felt her hooves touch the ground and her body relax from flying. Then, a strange looking creature with a bat on its shoulder walked out from the curtains and posed for the now slightly silent crowd.

"...Thhhhhheeeee Scooouuut! Begin!"

You know, Twilight offered me to read about you
But I'm surprised there even is a book about
A lame ballplayer who's bad at kung-foo.
I mean where ARE you from?
You don't even know? Are you really that dumb?
You have a bat, nice choice in weapon
But I have an element to teach you a lesson.
Your friends get killed back to back
When mine make all our enemies crack.

Woo hoo! Yo what up? It's about to get real!
You ain't one that I would appeal.
Why don't you go back to your fangirl, Scootaloo?
Who can't even fly, but still has got more fans than you!
I mean, you want to join the Wonderbolts?
Well I think that they would rather except a colt.
Yo lazy! Why don't you go crawl back into bed?
Cause' if you were from where I was from
You'd be fuckin' dead!

Rainbow Dash has more fans than your whole team combined!
I can assure you that your life here is timed!
I bet you touched Heavy's minigun
Then Spy and your mom went to have some fun.

Boink! Pow! Bonk! Is all I can hear
From this little, self-confident, bad rappin' tear!
Your fans imagine you as a whore
That they can fuck right on the shore.
I wonder how you got into a real school
Considering that all you are is a big fool.
Even Engineer couldn't fix your problems
I'll hit you so hard, I'll make rainbow m&m's
BITCH!

Who won? Who's next?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!!!

Epic Rap Battles of Equestria! #7 Applejack vs. Nick Ramos (Dead Rising 3)

The proud, athletic pony blinked twice at the applause she received when she stepped on stage. She blushed slightly and looked away, her hooves crossing the other.

Then a steady beat began to play.

"Epic Rap Battles of Equestria!"

"Applejack!"

The crowd was chanting Applejack's name over and over.

"Go Applejack! Go Applejack!!!" Chanted her little sister in the front row. She was jumping up and down along with her two friends.

"Versus!..."

Applejack stared at the curtain.

"Niiiiiiiick Ramooooosss! Begin!"

A man walked out wearing a uniform of some kind. He held a long object that had a dangerously sharp saw on the end.

Mah name is Applejack, get that through yer thick skull
For Ah have been workin' since Ah was just a foal.
Ah've seen your city of zombies, but that don't frighten me at all
I'll round 'em up, tie 'em down, and throw 'em back in yer mall
Ah've without mah parents for as I can remember
When so far, yer saddest moment was failing at yer mall-slash-centre.

You lived without parents, try without brothers or sisters neither
Thanks for the break from your rapping, I could use a breather.
Without your family you'd be no where in life.
When I cut zombies with a saw, I'll gut you with a knife.
But before that, let me help you take that weight off your shoulders.
I might be nice to let you live amongst the rocks and the boulders.

Please, Ah'm famous in all of Ponyville.
Ya need to work out and spend some time on the treadmill.
A mechanic survivin' zombies is no better than mah rhymes
When it comes to zombies, Ah'm compared to Rick Grimes.
Ah have the best of family in mah corner.
What do y'all got other than some lame machines and camcorders?
Mah barn was risen by family as high as its peak
Sugarcube, ya mess with me, Ah'll buck ya into next week.

You have more brawn than brain Ms. Hippie.
You got a little too concerned with your little filly.
I'm following the path of my boss Dicky
I'm getting the hell out of this city, I'm taking my friends with me.

Who won? Who's next?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!!!

Writing Quill: Applejack vs Nick Ramos from Dead Rising 3

Author's Note

This was one I had done since the 5th of November. I thought that I'd might as well use a quote to end this one. See you guys next time!!!