Chapters Prologue
Charm Bracer, what an unfitting name for someone like me. I’m not charming, nor do I wear any sort of bracelet. According to my flank, my special talent was charming mares and colts alike, and that’s shown. I hated it, to be honest. All the flirtatious ponies walking up to me with all their talking, and singing, expecting some sort of charm out of me. Somehow or another, they usually got it, apparently. I hated it, hated it, and hated it more.
A charm bracelet adorned my flank, telling ponies that - according to other ponies I’ve met - I’m either “a jeweler” or a “charmer”. Quite frankly, neither reflected my personality. As a quiet and socially awkward pony, I’m not sure what it is that would make me “charming” in the eyes of another. It wasn’t my aptitude for singing, dancing, or even talking. My voice is very… monotonous after all. Not a tone to be heard from my throat.
That odd thing that other ponies do, where they all break out into song and dance wasn’t my thing. Also, since magic has to do with your cutie mark and your natural abilities, my magic is practically useless. I hardly ever have a mare I’m willing to charm, so my horn isn’t very useful.
I honestly couldn’t see why ponies thought me so charming, but they did. I suppose as life went on, I just rolled with it. I still remember the day I got my very unfitting cutie mark…
***
I was on my first date. She and I were walking around in downtown Manehatten where we lived. The stars, as per usual, weren’t showing past the city lights. All of Princess Luna’s nights were kind of disappointing to me, as I used to go out and stargaze with my Dad outside of the city. He said I’d gotten too old for stargazing, and that I should get used to the light polluted sky. My date spoke up, right in the middle of my thoughts.
“It’s a beautiful night tonight,” she said to me. I looked at her, and then I looked up and rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, the light pollution is absolutely stunning this time of year,” I replied with a snort. My obvious sarcasm went completely over her head though.
“I’m glad you agree,” she said with a smile, “you know, you’re quite the charmer.”
POOF! A flash of white light covered my flanks, and when it ceased, a charm bracelet with seven hearts was on my flank. I face-hoofed so hard it was painful.
“Well, looks like someone found his special talent,” the mare said with a smirk and nuzzle of my neck.
“Yeah… great…” I said, drawing out the “great”. This was so not what I expected my cutie mark to be. I was silently praying since birth that it would be something awesome and cool. Like a guitar, or maybe a record! I guess music wasn’t my “true talent”. I sighed a lot that night.
“Is something wrong, Charmie?” asked my date.
Very much so, I thought. “Charmie? Where’d you pull that from?” I asked in return.
She frowned deeply. “I thought it would be a cute nickname for you… if you don’t like it-“
“No, I didn’t mean it in that way at all, it’s a great nickname,” I said, placing my forehoof around her neck. I genuinely felt bad for being so rude to her; after all, she was just trying to be a good first date. I nuzzled her as affectionately as I felt would be comfortable for her.
She returned my nuzzle and looked deep into my eyes. I hadn’t noticed it before, but her eyes were the most striking shade of green. Her mouth started to move, but her words fell on deaf ears as I stared into those glossy forests of beauty.
“Aw! Charmie! That’s so sweet!” she said, hugging me tight. My eyes widened. Did I just say that out loud? I swear, that wasn’t supposed to leave my head! This cutie mark is NOT helping me keep up my trademark “I don’t care” personality. The second she pulled away from the hug, she kissed me. Not a little “oh, it’s my first kiss” kind of kiss. This was a “oh Celestia I want to be with you forever” kind of kiss.
Whoosh! The ground fell away; all other ponies in the vicinity were gone, lost in that amazing kiss. Ears to tail tip I was numb. My knees trembled and my heart pounded. It was the best kiss I’d ever experienced, not like that was saying much considering this was my first kiss and all.
Reality kicked back in and I realized that the kiss was over. I was standing there dumbstruck in the middle of town. My eyes were coated with a pleased gloss, and my knees threatened to buckle.
“That was… amazing,” I drabbled out when my lips got feeling. She giggled and pulled me along by my forehoof. As soon as I finished walking her home, I headed back to mine. I contemplated my first date, but more than anything, my first kiss. I never did get another kiss from that mare, she moved on to dating hoofball stars and other such athletic ponies.
But as I lay in my bed that very same night, I thought. I thought about how that kiss happened upon my lips. I thought about how I managed to get that beautiful mare. I thought about how maybe my cutie mark wasn’t so wrong after all. I started to build up confidence. I didn’t need a kiss from that same mare because I could get so many other ones.
I liked my cutie mark, and it made sense.
***
That confidence soon dissipated as I realized that almost every day, mares and colts alike would be prancing over to me in order to try to get some charm out of me. They always did, usually mares over colts because I wasn’t too much into colts. Usually for them it was some sort of charming accident.
I was sick of Manehatten, I was sick of city life. I was sick of everything that came with that city. I decided to move far, far away from Manehatten. I hopped the first train that was leaving that day, and as the conductor yelled, I learned my destination.
“All aboard for Ponyville! All aboard who’s comin’ aboard!” Ponyville ? I thought. This was going to be a long train ride…
Chapter One
Sitting in the bumpy train car I'd so stealthily jumped on (don't look at me like that, I'm short on bits), I thought about my destination. I know I've heard of this "Ponyville" before, but only in a Geography lesson. I wonder if it's far away... I hope so, I hate that city. My mind was doing laps around what I'd learned about the place while my heart was copying, only my heart was doing it out of nerves.
The main reason I was so nervous about arriving in Ponyville was that my free ride would end. I was worried that as soon as I hopped off of the train, the conductor would shout, "FREEZE!" and it would all be over for me. Back to my "oh-so-charming" life in Manehatten... I bet all the ponies there would woo all over me as soon as I got back.
"Oh Charmie? Where had you gone?"
"Oh man, Charm! I missed you!" they would all say. Let's just say I was very much against the idea of returning. My heart - and of more importance, my sanity - was set on getting to Ponyville now. If I couldn't get there, both would be crushed. Returning to my train of thought, hehe... I hadn't learned much about Ponyville, other than the fact that I could probably have walked there. I face-hoofed. I was already on the train though, and I couldn't possibly bail off the thing at this speed.
As my mind and heart raced at almost the same speed, I found my vision slowly fading. I shot up for a second, realizing that I was falling asleep. I looked around and decided that I was safe to fall asleep here. My mind and heart slowed as I finally drifted off to sleep.
***
The sound of a whistle violently tore me from my dream world. Why was there a train whistle in my bedroom? Grazer... I thought bitterly. Grazer was my lazy-bones roommate who never did anything for himself. I remember one time when he... no... that's a story for a different time... Anyways, after a couple takes of my surroundings I realized two things.
1) The train had stopped moving.
2) I was in Ponyville.
I slunk out of the train car like a snake. Silent and stealthy. At least I was stealthy...
"HI THERE! You must be new to Ponyville! I know it because I know EVERYPONY in Ponyville, and I haven't seen you around before, what's your name? My name's Pinkie Pie!"
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I yelled as a bright pink pony, apparently "Pinkie Pie"... burst out of the bushes I was behind.
"What's your cutie mark for? Is it for being a jeweler? Maybe it's for being a snake charmer? Or maybe a gold charmer!? I was a rock farmer once, it w-"
"Well, first off, my name is Charm Bracer. Secondly, yes, I am new to Ponyville. Thirdly, what does a rock farmer have to do with a snake charmer? Fourth, stop staring at my flank," I said as I hugged my hind quarters close to my chest, "fifth..." I stopped after I realized that I had run out of hooves to point to.
"'Charmer' and 'farmer' rhyme, silly! There are tons of things that rhyme with 'farmer'! 'Charmer', 'barmer', 'starmer', 'karmer', 'yarmer'..." as the frustrating pink pony drabbled on and on about non-existant things that rhyme with the word 'farmer', I realized that I disliked her more than my cutie mark.
"And now I have to throw you a "WELCOME TO PONYVILLE" party!"
"Woah woah woah. Stop right there," and to my suprise, Pinkie Pie stopped her incessant bouncing in mid-air, "how are you doing that? Wait! Got to stay on track here. No. Parties. Hear me? Not a single party is to be thrown for me."
"But I throw parties for EVERYPONY in Ponyville! It would be against nature or something to not throw you a party! It would be against my Pink-stincts! I have to thr-" the pony stopped mid-sentence, her tail twitching, "move over a couple steps if ya' please."
I looked at her funny but stepped to the side. Just then, a piano landed right where I was standing a second before.
"Sorry about that!" yelled a pegasus above us.
"How did you know that was going to happen?" I shouted in disbelief.
"It's my Pinkie Sense! When my tail is twitcha-twitchin', something's gonna fall!" Pinkie explained. Right... well. I've decided I can't take any more of this, so I tried to get out of the conversation.
"Well Pinkie, I need to go get to my new house," a lie, I have no house here... horseapples! I have no house here! I'll solve that crisis later, "so I'll be off... oh yes. No. Parties. Okay?"
The pink party pony's resolve didn't seem to even quiver.
"We'll see about that when you get there!" she said. She dove right back into the bush she came out of. I looked around hoping somepony else had seen what had just occured. I poked cautiously at the bush, but no pink pony sprang out of it. I stuck my head in and took a look. No Pinkie Pie's were inside the bush.
"Don't worry about that, she does that whole 'unnaturally disappearing' thing a lot," said a voice above me. I tilted my head up to look at the pegasus who'd just said that, but the only thing I could see was a light bluish coat. The pegasus was accompanied by other pegasi, obviously here to pick up the piano.
"Really? Do you ever get used to it?"
"Honestly? No," replied the pegasus. As she flew down to talk to me face-to-face, I was stunned. Her mane and tail were rainbow coloured! I'd never seen a pony like her in all my life! She looked at me, obviously in anger.
"Are you staring at my flank? I oughtta buck you in the face!" she yelled.
"I wasn't staring at your flank! I was staring at your tail," I retorted, "and your mane... so beautiful..."
"Well don't get any bright ideas, pallie," she leaned in close, "I'm not exactly 'into' stallions."
I drove my face into the ground. I was being charming again. Thank Celestia that wouldn't work on this pegasus, maybe she and I could be friends? I pointed my hoof over to the piano.
"You guys here to get this piano that almost crushed my being?" I asked in a very rude manner.
"Yeah, sorry about that. Derpy Hooves dropped it when she was delivering it. Good thing you were standing by Pinkie Pie, her Pinkie Sense saved me tons of times!" she said, jumping into the air and doing a series of spins before landing. She must be some sort of stunt-pony.
"So, what? Are you some sort of stunt-pony? Like a Wonderbolt or something?" I asked. Her face lit up at the mention of the talented flight team.
"I wish! It's only my all-time DREAM to be a Wonderbolt! Are you a Wonderbolt fan? Who's your favorite? Mine's Spitfire!" she squeed in fangirlism.
"I'm not particularly fond of them, but I think you should already be a member. I mean, you fly so well and all," I replied. She looked at me angrily again.
"What did I tell you, new guy? Don't try any funny stuff," she leaned in close again, closer than before, "you don't want to wind up like the last colt who tried anything with me."
I gulped. My natural instinct told me to turn tail and run... and that's exactly what I did. I heard the pegasus shout something at me, but the wind in my ears blocked it out. My mind shot to the first important thing. I had to find a job, and I had to find a house.
***
I was hoping that there would be some sort of bulletin board in the Town Square, so that's where I headed first. Away from that haughty pegasus... I shuddered at the thought of her. The path to the Town Square was full of ponies, and I mean FULL of ponies. There was hardly and space to breath let alone move. I decided to slink around behind the buildings of the town. It was a lot quieter back there than I had expected. Back alleys for me were usually full of thugs and pickpockets.
I made it with relative ease - albeit a few fences and angry dogs - to the Town Square where, thank Celestia, there was a bulletin board. I ran up and checked the postings.
"Let's see here. 'Lawn chewer', 'painter', aha! 'Baker'! 'Baker needed! If you are a skilled baker, please, don't hesitate to visit the local bakery, better known as Sugarcube Corner. Lodging provided'! Perfect!" I squealed in happiness. Not only did I get a job, but I got a job doing something I'm relatively good at, and a free living space!
"Off to Sugarcube Corner!" I shouted as I trotted away proudly to the bakery. When I arrived there, the mere outside of the place overwhelmed me. The entire place looked like one big cake! It was stunning! I read the sign on the door. It said 'open' so I strolled right in. I was again getting overwhelmed by the look of the inside until I heard a familiar voice.
"Hi! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, Charmie! Want a cupcake?" asked the annoyingly familiar voice. I whipped around in alarm, only to see the new pink bane of my existance nose-to-nose with me.
"Gnah! Get your face out of my face!" I yelled in shock. She looked a bit discouraged for a second, but then she lit right back up. She pointed at the "wanted" poster.
"Are you here for this? I really could use an extra hoof around here! It's gotten about wacky and wild by myself," I nodded slowly, "GREAT! I'll show you all the way around the Corner!!! I'll show you my room and your room and the kitchen and the dining room and the front desk an..."
Her words melted away as my mind reeled. I was going to have to work... to live... with Pinkie Pie. The most socially apt pony in ALL of Ponyville. There was no way I could get out of that party now... or is there?
Chapter Two
I started to hyperventilate. My whole life... stuck with Pinkie Pie??? I flopped down onto my haunches. This... this is not good. I can hardly stand a minute with the bright pony. Her color alone leaves me with an impending annoyance. I should have figured the pony would work here though. She seemed to have some sort of unnatural addiction to sugar. I broke out of my haze and decided to go and meet the managers of the establishment, Mr. and Mrs. Cake.
I trotted back behind the desk and into the kitchen to find a frantic Mr. and Mrs. Cake taking care of an even more frantic pair of foals.
"Uhm, if you could just come back in a minute, dearie, we're a bit tied up at the moment!" yelled Mrs. Cake.
"Oh, of course, I kind of wanted to explore the town anyways," I returned.
"I could take you to see the town! Oh I know everypony and everypony knows me and soon everypony will know you! Well as soon as we throw your party, it's gonna be a great party by the way, there'll be cake and streamers and cupcakes and streamers and cake and candy!" Pinkie yelled, all in one breath.
"If you don't mind, Pinkie," I said, taking a step back, "I think I can figure out how to get around the town by myself."
"Oh..." the pink earth pony squeaked, looking very disappointed. Her mane even seemed to be less poofy.
"Uuuuuuugh. I suppose I could let you show me ar-" Pinkie Pie was already all over it.
"OH OH OH OH! I'll show you the park and the Everfree and Carousel Boutique and the library and Sweet Apple Acres and Schoolhouse and the City Hall and the fountain and Sugarcube Corner! Oh wait, we're in Sugarcube Corner... OH WELL! Sugarcube Corner is so great who wouldn't want to see it more than once? Well I suppose you'll be seeing it every day! You're going to live here, after all! Oh my gosh it's going to be so great! We're going to have pie and ice cream and other..."
So my trip, my incredibly long and annoying trip, around Ponyville is supposed to take the whole day, according to Pinkie. First she took me to the Library to meet her friend Twilight Sparkle. Then she took me to Sweet Apple Acres to meet one farm pony named Applejack. After that, she took me to meet Rarity, a dress maker in Carousel Boutique. Following THAT, we went to meet Fluttershy on the edge of the Everfree. That visit was an eventful one...
***
Pinkie Pie slammed on the door of the Library and then prompted me to hide in a nearby bush. A lavender pony with a six-point star cutie mark opened the door.
"Hello? Is anypony there?" and all of the sudden, Pinkie Pie pops up behind her. I laughed a bit until I remembered that it was really annoying when she did that to me.
"AAAH! Pinkie! I told you not to do that!" the lavender unicorn shouted.
"Twilight, this is Charmie, he's new to Ponyville! I'm gonna throw him a huge party! Charmie, this is Twilight Sparkle!" Pinkie said. Apparently we couldn't introduce ourselves.
"Pinkie, I'm sure I'm capable of introducing myself to this mare," I turned to Twilight, "I'm Charm Bracer, I just moved here from Manehatten."
"It's very nice to meet you, Charm Bracer, but I really must get back to my studies."
"Of course, it was great meeting you, as well." The door to the Library closed as Pinkie and I turned to head to Sweet Apple Acres. With her bouncing her way over to the farm all the way on the other side of town, I had to keep at a quick trot to keep up. I was out of breath by the time we'd reached the farm.
"Applejack! Oh AJ!" Pinkie called. An orange earth pony cantered up to us wearing a cowmare hat and a basket of apples on her back. Her flank showed three red apples, much like the three balloons that Pinkie sported.
"Pinkie, y'all know Ah'm always willin' to come and visit ya when Ah got the time, but Ah'm afraid Ah'm a mite busy at the second," said this yellow pony named Applejack. It was at this point that I'd decided to let Pinkie do the introductions for me.
"AJ, this is Charmie! He just moved here from Manehatten," Pinkie said.
"Well Ah'm mighty happy to make yer aquaintance," Applejack paused for a second, "what's yer real name, sugarcube?"
"Charm Bracer."
"Charm Bracer, what a nice name!"
"I could say the same about yours, Applejack," I said. Applejack gave me a funny look.
"Are ya'll tryin' to put yer moves on me?" she asked. Oh dear Celestia... Why does everypony always think that, other than Twilight of course.
"No! I was just saying!" I sighed in my defense. This was why I hated my cutie mark. Always I was "trying to hit on someone".
"Well, if'n yer wantin' to, please don't," she replied. Pinkie and I turned just as Applejack did. We headed off to meet this "Rarity". She sounded pretty snobby to me, but I decided to roll with it. We walked - well, I walked, Pinkie bounced - back to town and to a circus-tent type building. Pinkie pounded on the door just like she had with the Library. A unicorn with a stunning white coat and expertly styled mane opened the door.
"Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique! " shouted the unicorn. She took a look and me and started to giggle maniacally as she pulled me into the boutique with her magic. I mouthed "help" to Pinkie, but she giggled and snorted and walked in with this "Rarity" and I.
"Darling stranger, I have the perfect suit to match your coat! Oh it's simply divine!" Oh sweet Celestia, Luna, any princess help me...
"Actually, Rarity, I wanted to introduce you to Charmie! He's new in Ponyville!"
"And now he'll have a perfect suit for his "Welcome to Ponyville" party!"
"Uh, yeah. No. I don't need a suit or a party, thank you very much," I said sourly. Both ponies looked rather downtrodden, but Rarity's bottom lip had a certain pout to it that made me want to die with guilt.
"Fine. I'll take the suit I can't afford. But NO. PARTY. PINKIE. Seriously," I said to both of the ponies.
"Oh relax, darling. The suit is free and Pinkie's parties are simply marvellous! " Rarity said in an attempt to convince me to go to the party, "besides, I'll be there."
The last sentence she said made me feel rather uncomfortable. Had I accidentally charmed this one, as well? I didn't even say anything charming!
"Come on, Charmie! Let's go meet Fluttershy!" yelled Pinkie, much to my approval. I'd much rather go near the most dangerous forest in all Equestria than go through more of Rarity's fitting. As much as Rarity wailed and pleaded for me to stay and let her finish the suit right now , I wanted to go meet this "Fluttershy". She sounded more my speed, what with the "shy" in her name.
Fluttershy's cottage wasn't quite as far out of town as Sweet Apple Acres, but it was still far enough to make my legs ache. It seemed that Pinkie had almost a heat sink of my energy, stealing the excess and making it her own. She's been bouncing nonstop for almost three hours now.
***
"I think you're really gonna like Fluttershy! She won't think you're hitting on her at all!" Pinkie said with a giggle.
"Perfect. Exactly what I'm looking for in a mare," I said with a face-hoof and an eye roll. Fluttershy's cabin was a really beautiful structure, almost resembling a tree. All of the animals scattered at the sight of Pinkie though. Clearly she wasn't popular among the creatures. More slamming on the door, more screaming of names, but less of the door being answered.
"Fluttershy! I have someone I want you to meet!" Pinkie shouted.
"Oh, um, no thank you, Pinkie... I think I have enough friends if that's ok..." said a voice from beyond the door. Pinkie held up a hoof at me, signaling "give me a second". and went around the back of the cabin. In a few seconds, there was a shriek, a cackle, a chicken, and a door slowly opening to reveal a soft yellow pegasus with beautiful pink hair. It was now that my brain decided to stop working.
"Hah badah badah? Budafaka?" I stammered. This was the first time a mare had ever had this effect on me. It made me feel very dumb.
"What... is... your... name...?" I managed to flub out.
"My name's Flutte..." she drawled out.
"Her name's Fluttershy! She's kind of shy! " Pinkie said in a stage whisper. I face-hoofed yet again. Fluttershy retreated into her cabin and Pinkie and I decided to go back to Sugarcube Corner. As soon as Fluttershy's cabin door closed, Pinkie turned to me with a giant grin.
"Somepony likes another somepony," she said.
"I do not!" I retorted. Ok. I was totally lying, but it was so obvious Fluttershy wasn't interested anyways. I practically gave up instantly on her. Some ponies just can't be charmed. Sometimes though, I wish nopony could.
Chapter Three
As soon as the two foals, Pound and Pumpkin Cake, were settled and sleeping, Mr. and Mrs. Cake (they run the bakery, who knew?) gladly hired me and got me set up in my new living space. My new living space next to Pinkie. Next to Pinkie. Pinkie... I was going to have a long rest of my life. Using my inferring skills, I figured Pinkie usually had a good... 2 or 3 parties a week. Not something standable for someone like myself.
"So Charmie! Are you ready for your party tonight?" asked an unusually bubbly Pinkie Pie as she emerged from my closet.
"Sweet Celestia! You're gonna kill me, Pinkie!" I screeched, holding a hoof to my heart. I could almost see the frighteningly fast beats of my heart through my coat. Quite frankly, no. I wasn't ready for any party, and I never planned to be ready for any party. Ever. Pinkie never seemed to get that.
"No. I don't ever plan to be ready for a party," I said bitterly. Pinkie smirked and sauntered up to me.
"Are you sure? Fluttershy will be there," she said pointedly. Her eyebrows raised as she said 'Fluttershy'. My eyes widened. A chance to actually meet that beautiful mare for more than an instant? My heart rate had increased exponentially. I almost asked my brain to send it a signal to not break out of my ribcage. I took a big gulp of air.
"Ugh. Fine. I'll go to your party, but I won't enjoy it!" I said. I totally would enjoy it, however, if I could get a word or two out of Fluttershy. BOOM! Confetti and streamers. Everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I took cover behind my new bed, terrified at the huge sound.
"Pinkie," called Mrs. Cake from downstairs, "no party cannon for poor ponies who don't expect it!"
Pinkie looked at me expectantly. I quivered behind my bed, hooves over my ears. I was so NOT cleaning up all of that confetti. I slowly opened my eyes... coming nose-to-nose with a gigantic pink face. It only looked gigantic though, considering how close Pinkie's face was to mine. She had no concept of personal space.
"Pinkie! Stop doing that! Stop being so close to me, I don't like it!" I yelled. She stepped back a little, still grinning like a maniac.
"Okie-dokie-lokie!" was all I got in reply as the party pony rushed downstairs to prepare the Corner for the party I was reluctantly attending. Ok... half-way reluctantly. Whatever! Don't look at me that way! I decided to break in my new bed, so I brushed off the confetti I was so not cleaning up and tried to take a well deserved nap. My rest was short lived, however, as a small shift beneath my covers woke me up.
"What in Equestria is it now?" I asked myself... or so I thought it was just me I was asking.
"It's me, Pinkie!" shouted my bed. I screamed and jumped out of the bed, pinning myself to the corner across the room.
"Pinkie! Knock. It. OFF!" I yelled.
"Wow! You got over there faster than Dashie could!" Dashie? I thought. My eyes widened as I realized something. That pegasus earlier today that scared me in a way that only a rainbow pegasus cou-... Rainbow. Dashie. Rainbow Dash. I KNEW THAT PEGASUS FROM SOMEWHERE.
"Please Pinkie... tell me that THE Rainbow Dash isn't coming to this party!" I asked, shaking in fear.
"Dashie is super duper definitely coming to your party! Why? Got a crush on her, too?" Pinkie asked me intrudingly. I shuddered, shaking my head as I did so. Oh Celestia... definitely not!
"So tell me, Pinkie... why were you in my bed? More importantly, how were you in my bed?" I questioned. My mind halted. An explanation from Pinkie about how she did things. No thanks.
"On second thought, never mind. Anyways, what do you want?" I stated. It came out a bit more sourly than I'd hoped, but Pinkie didn't seem to notice.
"I came to say that your party is in two hours! Be ready for it," she yelled as she left the room... Until she came out from under my bed, "AND DON'T FORGET!!! Fluttershy..."
The name 'Fluttershy' was again said in a more sultry tone. I snorted and walked toward the mirror. My mane was alarmingly disheveled from my nap, much to my disappointment. Unlike the semi-famous Rainbow Dash, my carefree manestyle actually took more care than it should. I ran a brush through it with my utterly useless magic, and tossed it aside when I was done. This room would be messy in a week.
***
With my mane 'carelessly' styled, I looked at the clock. It took me an hour and fifteen minutes to style my mane. What's wrong with me? I thought. I started to come up with a mental list of my misfortunes and shortcomings, but I stopped when I realized it was only making me sad. If I have to go to a party, I might as well be happy for it.
I mean, at least somepony had the selflessness to throw a nice party together for him. That had never happened before in Manehatten. In Manehatten, he was a nopony, nopony else cared about him or what he did. I closed my eyes. When I opened them, a bulging pair of blue eyes was staring at me. I sighed. I had just about gotten used to Pinkie's antics, much against the opinion of one Rainbow Dash. I shuddered. Rainbow Dash still scared me.
"It's time for your PARTY! Come on, Charmie! Fluttershy's here!" Pinkie said, again in an attracting tone. I was getting frustrated with the whole 'Fluttershy' ordeal. Can't she just forget about it? Of course not, she was Pinkie Pie. I decided that instead of getting all over her with my anger, I would just go and drink punch and eat cake until I passed out.
I followed Pinkie down the stairs into the eating area of the bakery, and it looked completely different. Streamers, balloons, cake, ice cream, cupcakes, banners saying "Welcome to Ponyville, Charmie", all of those plus more were in their respective places in the bakery. I legitimately felt like this would be a nice party.
No loud music. One positive. No screaming ponies, excluding Pinkie. Two positives. I looked over my shoulder. Fluttershy. Three positives. This party was looking like a pretty good time, that is, until Rainbow Dash showed up.
"Dashie! I'm super duper happy you made it!" screeched Pinkie. Dash flew over to her lazily. She looked as if she'd just gotten up from a nap. Wouldn't surprise me considering what I'd heard about the stunt-pony. She slowly made her way through the crowd over to me.
"Watch your muzzle, Charm-Boy," she hissed. As she flew off, I felt a reassuring hoof on my shoulder.
"Ah, ferget her, sugarcube! You jus' go on and have a good time at yer party," said Applejack, "jest don't try hittin' on Rainbow."
I nodded. I wasn't exactly planning on hitting on anyone but Fluttershy. My only problem was that when I wanted charm, I usually just got a slow dribble of stupidity coming from my lips. I got a glass of punch and downed it in one swallow. I pictured my nerves going with it and walked up to Fluttershy.
"Hey there! I didn't get the c-" my sentence was cut off as I heard a familiar voice.
"Alright everypony! Let's get this party GOING!" Pinkie Pie threw a huge switch. After a couple seconds, the counter of Sugarcube Corner flipped over to reveal a DJ Booth full of none other than DJ PON-3. As the dance music kicked in, I realized something.
Loud music. One negative. Screaming ponies. Two negatives. The floor in front of me was empty, a pink tail running through the door. No more Fluttershy. Three negatives.
"Pinkie! PINKIE!" I shouted over the music.
"Yeah Charmie? What's up!?" screamed the dancing party pony.
"I don't want to be here anymore! I want to go to sleep!" I fought a noise battle with the music, the latter was easily kicking the flank of the former.
"What?" she replied.
"I want to go to sleep!" I yelled again.
"What???" she repeated. Frustrated, I flipped the switch that Pinkie had used, returning the DJ Booth and a very unhappy DJ PON-3 to their quiet place under the counter.
"Look, Pinkie. I've been very patient with you, and I didn't want to have to say this, but apparently it's a requirement to make sure you understand this. I hate parties. I hate loud music. I hate dancing," I said slowly.
"You hate my parties?" squeaked Pinkie. Her mane was getting droopy, but I didn't care. I kept on with my explanation.
"Yes, yes I do. I hate your parties, I hate your music, and most importantly, I hate you, Pinkie Pie," I finished. Tears welled up in her eyes as her mane straightened and got a few shades darker. Her lower lip trembled and the tears forming in her eyes dropped. They then proceeded to flow slowly as she ran out of the bakery crying.
I felt a hard smack across my flank.
"Now, what'd ya'll do that fer? Pinkie hasn't been nothin' but nice to ya and this is how ya go about thankin' 'er? Where were you raised that it's just plain dandy to do that to anypony? I oughtta buck your lips off!" scolded Applejack.
"Oughtta? I'll do it right now!" yelled a very Rainbow-esque voice. SMACK! and everything went dark.
Chapter Four
When I came to, I was in a swirling torrent of pain. Also, I was in a trash can. I suppose I deserved it considering what I did to Pinkie. I mean, all she wanted to do was throw a party for me. I crawled out of the trash can and observed my surroundings. I was just outside of Sugarcube Corner. The party was over, and I was pretty sure that it was the morning after the party. Rainbow Dash has quite a kick.
First things first, I had to go find Pinkie and apologize. But where could she be? I decided my best course of action would be to ask all of her fellow Elements of Harmony where she could have possibly gone. If only it was that easy.
Twilight had Spike - her little dragon assistant - slam the door in my face. Rarity called me a 'rude, black-hearted idiot' and then slammed the door in my face. Applejack said that I was a 'terrible co-worker and friend fer goin' and hurtin' Pinkie Pah like that' and slammed the door in my face. Fluttershy said she 'wouldn't help such a mean pony get near Pinkie Pie' and then had Angel Bunny - her pet rabbit - slam the door in my face. Rainbow Dash didn't say a word. She just kicked my face again before slamming the door in it.
When I had snapped my jaw back in place I thought for a second. Where could that pony be? I shoved my mussle into my hoof. Sugarcube Corner, of course. She probably came back over the night I was completely deservingly knocked out. I rubbed my face a bit. It still hurt from Rainbow Dash bucking me. I hadn't noticed in my 'find Pinkie' haze, but it really did hurt. I walked toward the Corner on my three hooves, the fourth still rubbing my face.
Ponies looked at me with undisguised hatred as I walked to the bakery. I completely deserved it.
"Hey guys, look! A tomato stand! Let's throw them at him!" yelled someone in the crowd. I suppose I have this all coming... I thought as the first fruit... vegetable... thing... made contact with my face. Then my flank. Then my horn. These ponies have great aim! I knocked on the closed door of Sugarcube Corner, but nothing happened.
"Hello? Pinkie? I came to apologize! I'm really sorry about what I said last night, and I wanted to know how you felt!" I yelled through the door. It creaked open a bit, showing how dark it was in the bakery. I took a look inside, turning my head side to side. I swallowed my nerves and stepped into the Corner. The darkness was suffocating as the door slowly creaked shut behind me.
"I'm in the basement if you want to apologize so bad!" yelled Pinkie's voice. No, not Pinkie's voice! This had a bit of a maniacal tone to it... a planning tone... I stepped cautiously down the stairs, each of them creaking under my weight. WhenI reached the floor of the basement, it was very cold under my hooves. I shivered, both for my cold hooves and the pressing darkness. How Pinkie had been down here was beyond me. I could hardly stand half a minute down here.
"Have a seat in that chair if you want, hehehe..." she cackled. That giggle was horrifying, but I complied. I didn't want to do anything to hurt Pinkie's feelings again after last night.
I sat down in the uncomfortable chair. As soon as I sat down, cuffs locked down on my hooves. I tried to pull my hooves out, but they were trapped.
"Now Pinkie, this isn't funny! Let me go!" I yelled in fear. The lights flicked on revealing a straight haired Pinkie Pie with a rather sharp utensil in her hands. I squirmed in the chair trying to get free. I started to sweat all over. My mane became matted to my forehead as Pinkie stepped up to me.
"Oh I'll let you go alright... TO TARTARUS WHERE YOU BELONG!" she screamed.
"Pinkie no! I'm sorry!" but it was too late. She giggled more as she drove the instrument into my stomach.
***
I flinched, coming back to reality. Oh thank Celestia, it was just a daydream! I thought in relief. I stepped into the Corner and flicked the light on. In the middle of the confectionary lay a very distraught Pinkie Pie. Her mane was straight and a darker pink than usual, and around the floor lay many wrappers of cupcakes.
"Pinkie? Are you ok? Like I said, I really want to say how sorry I am... I didn't mean that at all. The party was great, and so are you! You're a great friend Pinkie, too bad I'm not..." I said slowly. When I said, "great friend" her mane poofed up only slightly. My legs tensed, a deeply practiced reflex since I met Pinkie. To my surprise, all she did was turn around.
"Do you really mean that?" she said quietly. I stepped a bit closer, and then moved over to her side. I put a forehoof around her shoulders and turned her head to look into my eyes.
"Of course Pinkie. I've never had someone as kind and thoughtful as you as a friend before. That party meant a lot to me, it's just that with Fluttershy and the noise and..." I stopped mid-sentence, "I can't justify my behaviour last night. I'm so sorry Pinkie. Can you forgive me?"
She was quiet for a second. My heart was threatening to blast out of my chest. I was really hoping to be forgiven.
"Sure, Charmie. I can forgive you... what happened to your face?" Pinkie asked, pointing to my cheek where Rainbow Dash had kicked me.
"Oh, that? Rainbow Dash kicked me. Don't worry about it, I deserved it." Pinkie looked deep into my eyes. I looked back into hers steadily. She had a certain... glint to hers though. I didn't know what it was.
"You know, maybe your talent isn't so stupid after all..." she said, leaning into my face. I pulled away.
"Woah, woah, woah. Sorry Pinkie, we aren't that close," I said, feeling a bit bad about the statement though. To my relief she nodded understandingly.
"Right, of course Charmie. I do need to go tell my friends that I forgave you though! I'll be back in a jiffy!" she yelled, poofing out the door. I smiled. That was easier than I'd hoped... SLAM!!! Face... meet floor. Curse you, cutie mark! I DIDN'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN HERE! Luckily only one of them had actually gone for it, even though it wasn't Fluttershy... it was Pinkie. Pinkie? I slammed my face into the floor... again.
***
After I had apologized to everyone and likewise, we had a new party. Fluttershy was at this one as well. I walked up to talk to her.
"Hey, Fluttershy! What do you think of the party?" I asked her over the music.
"Hm? Oh, I like it! It's just as great as all of Pinkie's parties!" she called back. I looked around for a quiet spot to talk to Fluttershy alone. I really needed to do this, to get over my shyness and my awkwardness and just ask her out already.
"Can I talk to you somewhere quiet?" I yelled.
"Sure!" she said. I pulled her into a quiet corner and asked her to dinner after the party.
"Oh... I'd love to, but I'm already with someone..." she said to me. I was crestfallen. My disappointment turned to rage, however, as I saw just who it was she was waiting for. That blank green flank was way too familiar to me. I slammed my hooves on the table.
"CELESTIA CURSE YOU, GRAZER!!!!!" I yelled into the night. Always Grazer... but as I said... that's a story for another day...
THE END
Or is it?
Author's Notes
Hey everyone. Thanks for being so supportive on my very first fanfic! I'm glad you all liked it, even if I feel the last chapter was rushed and short and blah blah blah antagonizing myself. Anyways, it really means a lot to me and I'm glad that I already have some watchers to read my newest works of fanfiction! I'm probably going to start writing some more stuff on Charm Bracer and his various misadventures.
My new stories, which I hope to be very lengthy, are going to be updated as frequently as I can. If I take a while, send me a message on FIMFic or something so that I can get off my lazy butt and do some writing. I do have Vindictus and whatnot to play, but I'll make this second-to-top priority!
But I digress... thanks again everyone! I'm glad you enjoyed my story!
