Dual Stories: Why is there a spoon? - and - ETERNAL PURPLE HUNGER

by Piquo Pie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Spike, Comedy, Random
Length: 2811

An attempt at a duel story in which: Twilight Sparkle is driven insane by a spoon AND Twilight has awoken a mindless consumer of intelligence from beyond imagination.

One story to make you laugh,
a little random,
made for fun.

The lie.

One story to make you shiver,
a little dark,
made for reasons unknown.

There will never be another chapter for I have awoken.

Two stories in one. A challenge, an experiment.

For I am The Hunger in the Void.

Big thanks to Winston and Abcron for edits.

Published 2015-07-28 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-28 02:10:01 UTC

Why is there a spoon?

NOTE: This story is formatted for full screens only. Phones and partial screens will not format correctly 95% of the time. If it seems wrong then minimize the font until it works for you. Then it should work and you can enjoy it properly.

For then you will be mine.

"Never!" screamed Twilight as she began to charge her spell.

Pathetic creature. Why have you ended my slumber only to forsake my rule?

Twilight Sparkle looked at the spoon, shiny and clean, spinning in her magical grip above a desk. Looking around she found she was surrounded by dusty tomes and was, in fact, in the middle of her tidily kept library. She attempted to shake her headache away and suddenly a vague familiarity appeared in her memory. She remembered getting the spoon, and she remembered spinning it a few times. Then she remembered looking away from her journal - the 27th issue of Mediation in Neural Development - at the spoon, just now. But she didn’t know why she had the spoon and thinking about it was bringing back her headache.

Ahh. You taste divine, summoner.

Twilight slowly rubbed her temple as she forced her mind to focus. Thinking back on it, she didn't even know why she was standing there. In fact, after looking at the clock, she realized she didn’t remember the last two hours. It wasn’t the first instance of her losing track of time studying, but it was the first time where she couldn’t remember what she had been studying.

It will not be the last.

After thinking about it, Twilight couldn’t remember why she brought the spoon out here in the first place. Yet here it was, her only clue and she had spent ten minutes looking at it. She looked at it, picked it up and looked at it, licked it, sniffed it, and even poked it with her nose. It was cold and caused her to squeak. Still, she was no closer to figuring out why there was a spoon.

Why are you deaf to me?

She turned and called out. “Spike! Spike! Why did I bring a spoon to my desk?”

You who has woken and fed me that for which your flesh is a vessel for.

Spike came into view in his maid uniform, complete with feather duster, at the top of the stairs and quizzically peered down at Twilight, claws on his hips. “Was that a serious question?”

Gah, untouchable. Summoner, how did you render the services of such a beast?

Twilight stared at spike momentarily and blinked once before slowly answering. “Nooo…” She wondered if she really had lost her marbles... all the marbles.

You have fed me of your infinity and I demand satiation!

Spike raised his eyebrow incredulously before responding. “Good, now if you’ll excuse me I need to finish cleaning the upstairs.”

Come to me summoner, feed me as the contract demands.

Twilight watched Spike turn and leave before looking down at the spoon. It was still on her desk. She poked it with her hoof, but it didn’t reveal any more clues to its purpose. She didn’t have any food, she didn’t have anything to drink, and she wasn’t performing any experiments, much less any that required a spoon.

Perhaps I have underestimated you.

She walked out to the kitchen like she had done when she had first realized the spoon's existence. Nothing was on the stove, she knew that, and nothing was set out, she knew that too. Just in case she forgot she checked the oven, the cabinets, the sink, the bathroom, the garden, the lab, her room, her guest room, the garbage in every room in the house, under books, and had finally resorted to pulling the books off the shelf, scanning the titles, and dumping them in a heap on the floor before spike stepped in front of her. “Twilight, have you lost your mind! What are you doing?”

Perhaps you have blocked me by hiding the truth from yourself?

Twilight’s left eye twitched as she scanned the room, looking for any clue. “The spoon. There, there was a spoon and it was there and I don’t know why, I mean I know I put it there, but I... why did I spoon? It’s not for food, I didn’t get it to stir a drink, I’m not even doing any experiments. Why is there a spoon, Spike?”

Yes. You are truly worthy compared to other summoners. I will enjoy of your taste!

Spike took a step back as Twilight began to shake her head, causing her hair to pop slightly more out of place than it already was. Suddenly she stopped shaking her head. She paused there, unmoving before dropped to her knees and began prostrating herself before the heavens in the vain hopes of eliciting a response out of pity or some sense of justice. “Why is there a spoon? Am I losing it? Is this a test from Celestia? What if I don’t pass, what if I disappoint her? What if it’s not a test? Why is there a spoon?" Twilight turned to Spike and asked sharply, as if she had suddenly come to her senses. "Spike, I need you to take a message.”

I shall enjoy this game.

“Whew,” sighed Spike in relief. “You were starting to make me worry. What should I write to Celestia?”

Begone untouchable.

Twilight turned to Spike, brows furrowed in confusion. “Celestia? No this isn’t to Celestia. I need you to take a message to Pinkie. I need to know what other uses there are for spoons.”

Yes, the Pink One. Summon mine and learn.

Spike paused. “So you’re asking Pinkie for help?”

Do not question the summoner, untouchable.

Twilight ground her teeth before taking a big breath and letting it out slowly. “Yes, Spike. Unless you can think of any other pony who might know odd uses for spoons. Now, to the letter cabinet!”

Soon. Yes. I will send her to you now summoner.

“No,” said Spike slowly, scratching his brow with the freshly acquired quill he always kept in case of Twilight-letter-emergencies. Twilight caught his eye with a confused look. “I mean, I guess Pinkie makes sense for that. But, what I meant was, I can’t send her the message. It only works with Celestia, you know that.”

Is this some eternal torment sent unto me by the chaotic one?

Twilight sighed as she resumed pulling books off the shelf. “I know that Spike, that’s why I wanted you to run it to her, in person.”

PINK ONE. I SUMMON THEE!

“Oh. I guess I can do that.”

You waste the time that limits you.

“Good. Ready?”

I am.

“Ready.”

Get on with it!

“Dear Pinkie Pie. I found a spoon on my desk that I put there but I can’t remember why. Can you come over and help me figure out why I brought the spoon to my desk? Sincerely, your friend, Twilight Sparkle. Got that, Spike?”

It matters little.

Spike finished the note a second later and turned to Twilight. “You know, I could have just gotten her to come here. You didn’t need to send her a letter.”

Ha!

Twilight stopped pulling books off the shelf and turned to Spike. “You’re... you’re absolutely right. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Feed me.

Twilight suddenly stopped moving completely and Spike noticed her pupils dilating more before she spoke quietly. “Oh no. This is bad. This is very bad.”

Yes, feed me more.

“Twilight,” said Spike. “Calm down. We all make mistakes, you know that.”

Untouchable, I will rend your soul from your bones.

“No Spike, you don’t understand. I literally don’t remember what I was thinking. I always know what I was thinking. I mean, sometimes I have to think about why I did something but I always remember what I was thinking. Oh this is bad. Spike?”

And your soul will experience a wrath that supersedes the eternal.

“Yeah?”

No!

“What was I doing while you were cleaning?”

How dare you give me back more hunger.

“What? I don’t think-”

How dare you taunt that beyond time and space.

“Spike! I need to know. While you were cleaning I lost two hours. I don’t know what I was doing. Just before that I went into the kitchen and came out with a spoon, Spike. A spoon. Only a spoon. I didn’t bring anything to eat or drink and I didn’t do anything else with it. I just spun it a few times and then set it on the desk next to my journals and it was suddenly two hours later and I have no idea what I did.”

No.

Spike stared at Twilight whom, at some point, had grabbed him by the shoulders. She was panting and her hair was a mess and Spike was scared. “I... I don’t know. I mean I glanced over and saw you staring at the spoon but, you were just twirling it.”

No!

“How long was I twirling the spoon Spike?” shouted Twilight as she began shaking Spike. “How long was I twirling the spoon?”

Yes! Break the spell you have cast on yourself and feed me!

A sudden knocking at the door interrupted the two as they stared at it. The knock came again prompting Twilight to shout. “We’re closed, go away.”

Yes, Pink One.

“But Twilight,” came Pinkie Pie’s high pitched voice, “I got a scritchy belly. And scritchy bellies means someone meant to ask me for help but didn’t. And since your house makes my belly super duper scritchy itchy I think someone here wanted my help.”

You are doomed summoner.

Twilight’s horn suddenly began to glow and her eyes went white as the Library door was thrown violently open to reveal a startled Pinkie Pie who was suddenly pulled inside by a purple aura. The door slammed shut just as quickly as it had been opened and Pinkie was thrown right in front of Twilight.

The next time I won’t leave you with yourself.

“PinKIE,” yelled Twilight in a vague, uncontrolled approximation of the royal canterlot voice, “PinKIE I nEEd to kNOw aBOuT spOOns. TEll me eVERYTHing thERE Is to kNOw aBOuT spOOns. I nEEd to kNOw rIGHt NOW.”

It begins.

Pinkie stared at Twilight for a full minute before donning a grin and happily responding. “Spoons were invented in the year 1837BNM by an old earth pony duke named Sir Spoo. He was tired of lifting entire bowls to his mouth in his old age and so had his blacksmith, Oon, make him a smaller bowl attached to a handle. It worked perfectly and while there are currently eight hundred and thirty seven different types of spoons known to ponykind, many with very particular uses, and thousands of different styles the spoon has remained unchanged for eighteen hundred and thirty nine years. While most spoons are suited for cooking some spoons are used for art and mixing chemicals, which is just like cooking but pays a whole lot better. Some spoons are also used in art, not just to represent spoons but also as symbols of good luck and prosperity. Several legends about mythical spoons have appeared over the centuries but as far as I know they all date back to after the invention of the spoon. Though, they tend to be told as if they were older than spoons. Spoons have also been used for entertainment purposes, kids stick them on their noses and see how long they can make them last, and hypnotists will sometimes use them to hypnotize other ponies-”

Ah, my favorite minion.

“Hypnosis!” yelled Twilight as her eyes returned to normal. The room went quiet for a moment as Twilight began to mumble unintelligibly to herself while nodding. Suddenly she picked Pinkie up and enveloped her in a hug. “Pinkie you’re a genius.”

I will reward you greatly.

“Gee thanks. I don’t get called that much but it’s always nice because ponies yell it so loudly. Have a nice day.”

Even by physical standards you are far more than that.

“You too Pinkie,” replied Twilight. She opened the door for Pinkie to leave and closed it behind her. She turned around and surveyed the library. Somehow it looked worse than when Rainbow Dash crash lands in the middle. “Spike I know I made this mess but would you be so kind as to help me clean it up. I’ll make sure Rarity brings over a nice big pile of gems tomorrow.”

Yes, make the untouchable one do it.

“Yeah, cool. But um, what just happened? I mean, you were getting pretty scary there for a moment.”

Satisfaction, oh how your flavor reminds me of my time before the great stuporous sleep, when millions fed me.

Twilight began to blush and turned away from him. She walked to her, now very cluttered and disorganized, desk and pulled out the 27th issue of Mediation in Neural Development. “Well, earlier today I was catching up on some light reading about the developments in pony psychology and I came across an article about how some ponies use self hypnosis to change their behavior. While it’s not specifically about neural development this journal talked about how unicorns who are hypnotized by an object spun by magic can not only improve their mood and behavior but also help develop their fine telekinetic control. And since I became an alicorn that’s something I’ve been needing to work on. So I thought I’d give it a try and practice my magic while hypnotizing myself to be better at the same time.

If only that was all, I would still slumber.

“I guess I must have hypnotized myself but I must have done something wrong because I don’t remember it at all. And, well, that really freaked me out. Even now after I figured it out I only partially remember looking at the summary at the beginning of the article before getting the spoon and making it spin. I don’t even remember what I was thinking at the time, I must have somehow blocked it or never properly encoded the memory because of the hypnosis. I didn’t even remember the article before hoof because seriously, why would a journal have anything to do with a spoon. But, when Pinkie said ‘hypnosis’ I figured it out. It’s kind of scary, honestly. But I’ll read into it more and let you know before I ever try anything like that in the future.”

Enjoy your delusion while you can. Eventually you will visit my presence again.

Spike nodded to himself knowingly as he walked over to Twilight’s desk and began to clean things up. “Makes sense to me, it’s just like in the comic books when the Batmare defeats the Riddler by using a mirror and causing him to hypnotize himself. Oh, here’s the spoon.”

Ah, the vessel.

Twilight took the spoon in her magic and floated it to her side. “Thanks, Spike. I think I’ve had enough spoons for a while. How about eggs and toast for breakfast tomorrow?”

There will be no tomorrow for you, my summoner.

“Sounds good to me.”

As it does to me.

Twilight left to go put the spoon away while Spike continued to clean. Opening the drawer she found that some of the spoons were facing the wrong direction. She lifted them up and began to turn them around, and around, and around.

"Wh... What?" asked Twilight as the terror of her memories returned.

My child, we meet again. I am the hunger that was to forever sleep and you are the one who woke me, the one who has promised to feed me of your eternal mind.

"HELP"

Yes, the magic that gave your power saved you before, but this time I claim what has been freely given. I will begin to fill my eternal void with you power, your mind, all that makes you you. And for a hundred years I will consume it until I understand it, then I will be born again. Only this time I will in the form of a princess and shielded from that which drained me of my eternal stuporous slumber. And when that day comes, I will consume the wielder of the sun and the champion of moon.

Author's Note

Now highlight this work and read it again to know one of its many secrets.

And be mine!

No seriously, highlighting the story reveals only some of the hidden things about this fic.

For the more you learn the more I feed.

Can you find/deduce them all? I'll offer pre-read services to the first to name eight.

And I will offer eternity to those who help me by sharing this story, give it a thumbs up, and/or comment.