Chocolate Milk and Discolights

by RarityTookManehattan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, Fluttershy, Random, Twilight Sparkle, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 3494

Discord attempts to seduce an increasingly bemused Twilight with his chaotic ways and chocolate milk.

It's been a long week, and Twilight's feeling annoyed. Discord just won't stop bothering her: following her around, making snarky comments - just being Discord. Fluttershy thinks he might have ulterior motives, but Twilight's sure the lord of chaos is interested in nothing more than irritating his (least) favorite princess. He couldn't possibly like her... right?

Discolight fic written for the first ever twicord contest :pinkiesmile:

Published 2014-11-08 02:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-08 02:50:04 UTC

Under The Discolights

"That better not be you again Discord!" Twilight yelled as soon as she heard the knocking, tearing her eyes up from the book she was reading. "Can't anypony get some peace and quiet around here?" She ground her teeth together, infuriated, and waited to hear that irritating voice drawl some oh-so-witty response.

"Erm, actually Twilight... it's me, Spike," mumbled Twilight's assistant from behind the door. "I, er, found that book you wanted on Starswirl the Bearded."

"Oh. I'm sorry Spike, I thought it was... Never mind. Come in." Twilight sighed and opened the door with her magic. Spike dropped the book quickly like it was burning his hands and ran out of the room. Twilight watched him go, biting her lip a little guiltily.

It wasn't like she was always this cranky - but this week Discord had really been getting on her nerves. Ever since the defeat of Tirek a few months ago, Discord had been on his best behavior, presumably to prove that he'd turned over a new leaf. But just as she thought he was actually improving, he'd started popping up everywhere she went: making sarcastic comments and sniggering as she went about her day. The worst thing was, none of the others had noticed any change in the way he was acting - he was seemingly intent on bothering her, and her alone. She remembered trying to breach the subject with Rarity.

Who, Discord? she'd asked, looking shocked. Why I don't know what you mean, darling! He's been like a dream ever since Tirek was defeated. Why he even helped me with my new clothes range last week - a bit of draconequus magic speeds up the dress-making process tenfold. Fluttershy had been if anything even less helpful.

I'm sure it's just his way of trying to make friends, she'd said warmly. If anything, it sounds like he really likes you - he's going out of his way to talk to you, after all. No amount of eye rolling on Twilight's part could erase the cheerful smile on Fluttershy's face that ascertained she truly believed what she'd just said - which was nonsense, Twilight was certain of. As far as she could remember, following people around and making disparaging comments did not equate to making friends.

Twilight shook her head to try and clear it, glancing back down at the book she'd been reading. She wasn't going to let that irritating draconequus get to her - after all, she was Twilight Sparkle: Princess of Friendship! She smiled a little to herself, feeling better.

"What? What's the joke? Did I miss something?" asked a familiar voice. Twilight's smile vanished and she turned around to see the cause of her troubles sat on her bed, a look of innocence on his normally-mischievous face.

"Discord!" Twilight yelled. "What are you doing in my room?" He looked around as if there were any other Discords who could possibly be to blame then made a face of mock horror.

"Who? Me? Why I'm here to visit one of my very bestest friends, of course! Gossips, get-togethers, tea and biscuits... I thought that was what friendship was all about?" He began pouring himself a cup of tea.

"Friends don't drop in uninvited without even knocking," Twilight pointed out angrily. Discord paused for a second, pondering that thought and stroking his beard.

"Yes, well I was going to knock, but after seeing the way you treated poor, innocent Spike I thought perhaps I should just pop in!" At the word pop he vanished and reappeared behind Twilight, his head next to hers.

"Cup of tea?" he whispered in her ear. Twilight jumped at his sudden proximity, her heart beating a little unevenly, and didn't have time to refuse before a teapot began pouring her a drink in the air in front of her.

"Discord, what do you want?" she asked exasperatedly. The cup of tea forced its way into her hooves.

"Why I've already told you! To hang out with my friend. Have a drink," he added, and with a sigh she lifted the cup to her mouth. She wrinkled her nose at the taste.

"Blergh! What blend is this? It's horrible!" Discord, who'd just begun to take a sip, spat his out all over the floor.

"You're right my dear! Why drink tea? We could have chocolate milk!" With a snap of his fingers, the teapot and cups of tea were replaced with a jug and glasses of chocolate milk. The jug began to pour endless amounts of cocoa-flavored liquid onto the floor.

"Discord, make it stop!" Twilight cried out. The chocolate milk was filling up the room quicker than it should've been possible to do: her legs were already partially submerged. Discord sighed.

"Oh Twilight, you do need to lighten up." With another click of his fingers, the chocolate milk all vanished, and multicolored disco strobe lights began to filter through the room.

"Discord, what-" Twilight began, but before she could finish her sentence Discord had pulled her into a tight dance hold and she found herself too disorientated to remember what she was going to say.

"Let's dance!" Discord sang, and strange orchestral music filled the room. Twilight found herself unable - or, more accurately, unwilling - to extrapolate herself in time to prevent being twirled around the room like a ballroom dancer.

The mixture of the classical music, bright strobe lights and the sheer oddity of the situation itself left Twilight feeling extremely confused - and weirdly excited. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, Discord was refreshingly unpredictable: she had no idea what was going to happen next, and it was sort of... exhilarating. The music changed pace suddenly to a slow dance, and Discord spun her around so that her face came within inches of his. He was about to close the gap, she was sure of it - her heart began beating violently...

...and then he twirled her back around and the music suddenly changed to an upbeat, jazzy tune. Twilight was left spinning on the spot as Discord went solo, stepping jovially backwards and forwards in time to the new music.

"Join me in the Charleston, my dear!" he called to her, clicking his fingers. Twilight felt something about her change, and lifting her hoof to her head she realized he'd cropped her mane to some kind of bob. Looking down, she was now wearing a heavily beaded dress and chunky heels.

"Oh, don't complain," he added with a grin. "You look wonderful!" Twilight was at a loss of what to say.

The lighting suddenly returned to normal and Discord appeared at her side with a flash.

"As much as I've loved our little get-together, I believe you're about to get a visitor or two - so I will say au revoir, for now, Princess!"

"Discord - wait, what?" Before she could make any further comment on the bizarre evening's events, Discord had vanished, leaving Twilight behind looking rather dazed.

The door to Twilight's room opened for the second time and Fluttershy and Rarity both walked in.

"Now Twilight, we were wondering about - oh my goodness! Where did you get such haute couture?" Rarity's eyes lit up as she gazed at Twilight's dress, which was apparently still there.

"You look lovely!" Fluttershy added, smiling kindly.

The two stared at Twilight expectantly.

"Errr... oh, this old thing? It's one of my old dresses from Canterlot," she babbled unconvincingly with a slightly crazy grin. Fluttershy and Rarity exchanged glances.

"But what about the hair?" Rarity asked.

"What hair?"

"The... hair on your head," Rarity clarified.

"My hair?" Twilight repeated. Then she remembered the bob cut Discord had given her. "My hair!" She felt her head in horror and realized he hadn't sent it back to normal.

"Are you feeling all right darling?" asked Rarity uncertainly. Twilight sighed.

"I'm fine," she told her friends. The two still looked concerned. "Discord, er, gave me a visit," she admitted. Rarity gasped.

"Discord gave you that haircut? I never knew he was so into vintage coiffures!" Twilight glared at her. "I mean, what was he doing here anyway?" she added sheepishly.

"That's why we came here in the first place," Fluttershy explained. "I know neither of us took you very seriously when you told us Discord had been bothering you, so we came to see if you're ok."

"I'm fine, honestly," Twilight tried to reassure them. Rarity raised an eyebrow.

"But he changed your look!" she pointed out.

"And he's been bothering you all week hasn't he?" Fluttershy questioned.

"Not to mention he's reduced you to shouting at poor Spikey-wikey!" Rarity added.

"I'M FINE!" Twilight yelled. There was silence for a moment while her two friends stared at her.

"Well, if you say so!" Rarity said, smiling. "We'll be here if you need us." With that, she trotted out of the door. Twilight glanced at Fluttershy, hoping she'd take the same approach.

"Twilight..." Fluttershy mumbled.

"Yes?" Twilight prompted.

"Do you like Discord?" she asked, trying not to smile.

"Wh-what?" Twilight stared at Fluttershy uncertainly. "I-I suppose so, I mean... he's one of our friends, right?" she stuttered. Fluttershy smiled.

"That's not what I meant," she hinted. Twilight gaped at her.

"Then - wh-what do you mean?" Twilight asked, horrified.

"Never mind," she soothed, trying not to giggle. "I'm sure it's nothing. Just know, if you ever want to talk to me about anything, I'll be here." She smiled warmly and Twilight tried not to think about what Fluttershy was implying.

"I'll see you tomorrow!" With that, Fluttershy gently floated out of the room. Twilight used her magic to shut the door behind her.

Lying down on her bed with a flop, Twilight tried to make sense of the confusion she felt. What was Fluttershy trying to say, asking her if she liked Discord? Sure, she probably behaved a little erratically just then, but Fluttershy couldn't possibly think that she, Twilight, had a crush - she shuddered - on him? Him, of all ponies! Come to think of it, he wasn't even a pony! He was a draconequus lord of chaos for goodness' sake!

And yet... a part of Twilight's brain had to admit that maybe Fluttershy had a point. When Discord was dancing with her and pulled her close, for a second - for a teeny tiny second - she had almost kind of hoped that he'd kiss her. Twilight blushed, unable to deny that she felt attracted to a chaotic, sarcastic dragony-goaty-thing.

Pull yourself together, Twilight Sparkle, she told herself. You do not have a... crush (she cringed) on Discord. He is an irritating albeit slightly flirty draconequus and you are not going to fall for his silly charms!

Pulling off her beady dress, she reached out to turn out the light - but froze halfway when she spotted a small glass on her desk.

It was filled with chocolate milk.

From the next day onwards, Discord began to pop up everywhere. Twilight couldn't take a walk into town without the draconequus appearing out of nowhere - often at inconvenient moments, and to the increased bemusement of her friends. The awkward meeting at Sugarcube Corner was a prime example.

I'm so excited for you to try the new chocolate shake, Pinkie had eagerly told her. It's super duper yummy! However, before Twilight could respond, Discord had appeared at Pinkie's side, shaking his head. Oh, my naïve little friend, he said to Pinkie. Twilight's only going along with this to be polite. She doesn't want your chocolate shake! Not after tasting my superior chocolate milk last night. With a sneaky grin he snapped his fingers, vanishing again with a flash.

Ignore him, Pinkie, of course I still want to try it, Twilight told her friend anxiously. To her surprise, however, Pinkie looked more confused than offended.

What did he mean by last night, Twilight? she asked with innocent curiosity. Mortification didn't even begin to describe it.

Just the day after, he'd interrupted Rainbow Dash as she tried to teach an admittedly uninterested Twilight one of the new tricks from the Wonderbolts' repertoire.

Next, you do a corkscrew twist- Rainbow had begun to explain, miming in the air. Twilight had been staring back, her eyes a little unfocused, when a familiar voice interrupted the conversation - immediately breaking her reverie.

A corkscrew twist? Why Princess Twilight Sparkle trifles not in such amateur tricks! Discord had injected with exaggerated exuberance. You're talking to the pony who performed the Charleston with me not three days ago! He looked as though he was about to snap his fingers and give all in the vicinity a certain cropped hairstyle but decided against it upon Twilight's insistent glaring. Instead he vanished, leaving behind an awkward silence.

Uhh... what's the Charleston? asked Rainbow Dash, bemused. Twilight shuffled awkwardly from hoof to hoof.

It's just this dance thing, she mumbled. Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.

Why were you dancing with Discord? Twilight wanted to sink into the ground.

By the time the week was over, Twilight was borderline crazy. She shut all the doors to the castle, finishing with her room, and began casting spells to ensure that no nosy draconequus could enter. Spike watched nervously as she cast spell after spell, the room flashing pink and purple with every new piece of magic.

"Um... Twilight? Don't you think you're going a bit overboard?" he asked. Twilight jumped at the sound of his voice and turned to stare at him for a few seconds. Then her shoulders slumped and she sighed.

"You're right Spike," she admitted. "Maybe I just need to relax a little." Her assistant nodded hastily in agreement, much relieved.

"Good idea Twilight!" he told her enthusiastically.

While Spike completed a few chores around the castle, Twilight took the evening off: reading by the fire, taking a long bubble bath (though not quite as long as Spike's ten hour feats) and even eating a few chocolates. She felt a lot better after taking the time to chill out, and best of all, there were no interruptions. I win this round, Discord, Twilight thought smugly. He certainly wouldn't have left her alone for so long without a single annoying interruption unless her spells were working.

By eight o'clock Twilight was totally relaxed - and a little bored. Sitting down to read again, she started fidgeting awkwardly on her cushion. Since when was this thing so uncomfortable? Twilight thought to herself. As she tried to read her mind began drifting. I wonder what Discord's doing now? she wondered. What?! Why are you even thinking about him? she thought angrily. Because he's irresistible, some random weird part of her brain responded. No, I did not just think that! Twilight thought with a cringe. Discord's hot! somehow floated around her brain. Just... just stop thinking now. Twilight shook her head as if to clear it and forced herself to look at the words on the page in front of her.

"Is somepony thinking about me?" a familiar voice sounded. Twilight yelled in shock and turned around - then blushed scarlet.

"Y-you can read thoughts?!" Twilight asked, horrified. Discord appeared beside her suddenly, taking readings from what looked like a lie detector.

"Well, no, but I don't have to. I mean you practically just told me," he pointed out. Twilight felt like kicking herself.

"I didn't say anything," she lied. The lie detector beeped and Discord shook his head in disappointment.

"What happened to honesty my dear?" The lie detector became a huge pile of apples which tumbled down all over the floor. Twilight looked away uncomfortably. Discord slithered (Twilight wasn't sure what better word to describe the way he moved) around her so that he was facing her.

"You can tell me anything, you know, friend," he murmured with a hint of sarcasm. Twilight stared at him.

"I don't want to be your friend!" she blurted out. Discord blinked, looking a little hurt. He snapped his fingers and all of the apples vanished, while a briefcase appeared in his hand.

"Well, then, I'll go," he told her haughtily, turning away and beginning to walk out of the door. Twilight felt a weird tinge of regret, and despite herself she called back, "Wait!"

"That doesn't mean I want you to go," she told him, cringing a little. He raised an eyebrow.

"So you want me to stay but you don't want to be my friend?" he confirmed grumpily. "What do you want, Twilight?" He imitated her earlier phrase and she rolled her eyes at him. "Unless..." He pulled out a calculator and a pair of glasses appeared on his head. Typing in some calculations, he cried out: "Aha! I see. Well, that changes everything."

"What changes every-" Twilight began but in a second she was transported to a random meadow somewhere. Her mouth fell open in shock.

"What-? Discord!" she cried. In a second he appeared next to her wearing a suit, smiling wryly. A group of musical instruments appeared in the air beside them, playing music. He spun her around so that they were dancing, like they had a few days ago.

"You are sly," he told her, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "However I picked up on your subtle clues so you don't have to pretend any more." Chocolate milk began to rain down on them and disco strobe lights filtered through the clouds. Twilight blinked, trying not to get chocolate in her eyes. With a snap of his fingers the two of them were sat opposite each other around a restaurant-style table. Discord held his glass in the air and it filled up from the rain.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she insisted. A teensy part of her brain thought maybe he was suggesting... no, of course not. The chocolate milk turned to roses and Twilight batted them away with irritation, trying not to let their spiky stems come anywhere near her.

"I don't want to be friends, I see what you're saying," Discord said. "Well, since you're so insistent..." He snapped his fingers again and Twilight was stood under a frilly white archway wearing a flowing white dress. Ok, there was no doubt what he was implying. Twilight pulled the dress off immediately, and Discord looked shocked. "Things are moving fast!" he commented, and Twilight blushed, but remained determined.

"Discord," she warned, and the music stopped. Everything returned to normal so that it was just the two of them stood in the meadow, him wearing an undeniable puppy-dog face.

"Yes?" he asked, blinking innocently.

"I don't know what false impression I gave you, but it was purely coincidental," she explained firmly - though her heart thumped unevenly. "I don't have... I don't feel... I don't like you in that way!" Discord nodded solemnly.

"I understand... so you don't like this?" He appeared beside her, his face next to hers. She jumped a little and gulped.

"You don't like this?" They were suddenly in total darkness, a spotlight on them as he whirled her around in his usual strange dance. Her heart stuttered.

"You don't like this?" Discord leaned in towards Twilight's face. Twilight began to lean in too, though she didn't realize she was doing it. Discord suddenly pulled back a little, causing Twilight to inexplicably stumble forwards anyway to meet him.

For a second of bliss Twilight forgot what consequences were as she gently kissed Discord. His muzzle felt surprisingly soft, there was a vague taste of chocolate milk and a soft hand ran through her mane.

Then she remembered where she was, what she was doing and who she was kissing. She pulled away suddenly, though Discord seemed unsurprised. A look of mock awe crossed his face.

"To think an alicorn princess would kiss a poor, lowly draconequus like me!" he cried, pretending to faint and landing on a plush purple sofa. Twilight simply stared in shock.

"I-I..." Her voice trailed off as she struggled to formulate a response. Discord teleported next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, princess," he promised with a sombre expression. "I don't kiss and tell."

With a blink, Twilight was back in her room, alone. She sunk down onto her bed, feeling predominantly confused but with added hints of irritation, bemusement and maybe excitement. It was dark outside and the castle was silent, probably due to all those spells she cast earlier preventing visitors.

What just happened? Twilight asked herself. The answer was simple, and obvious, and despite everything made her smile.

Discord.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading everypony! I know this is very different to my fluttercord fic - honestly I just love shipping Discord :twilightblush: this was written for the first ever discolight competition :pinkiehappy: wish me luck! And if you enjoyed it, give me a like/favorite/comment/watch :scootangel: it'd mean the world :pinkiesmile: