The Taco of Destiny

by Barix123

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2200

Pinkie Pie is in possession of the 'Taco of Destiny'. This can't end well.

A simple picnic on a beautiful day with your best friends. I can't think of anything else that spells disaster, can you?

Written for my good friend MagiclyCondemned.

My first attempt at something that's not adventure or dark. Criticism wanted, if constructive.

Published 2015-04-07 18:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-07 18:00:02 UTC

It'll work out in the end...right?

A nice, quiet, sunny day in the small town of Ponyville. Naturally this calls for a picnic. What pony in their right mind would pass up an opportunity like this? Not the Elements of Harmony I can tell you that much. In a spur of the moment idea, they all decided to go to the park where they would enjoy a picnic together. All they needed was some food, thankfully there was plenty for the occasion. How convenient right?

Pinkie brought some of her signature cupcakes, Twilight put together some hay sandwiches, and Applejack had some leftover apple fritters and caramel apples. Rarity gathered some type of hard to pronounce orderves she saw at a Canterlot party once, Rainbow Dash grabbed some store bought Wonderbolt cookies, and Fluttershy picked some mixed vegetables from her garden. Once the food was gathered they all headed off to their usual spot.

It was their same cozy, comfortable, and cliqued picnic area. Birds were chirping and the sun was bright. It was one of those days that could only get worse from the start, which was to say, it was absolutely perfect. Nopony could have asked for a better day to unwind.

“I’m so excited I could just burst. We haven’t done this in such a long time.” Pinkie Pie was over enthusiastic as usual.

“Gotta agree with ya Pink’s. We have to do this a little more often.” Rainbow Dash, the first to respond, had her 20% cooler shades on while laying back on the grass.

“I just wish I had more time to spend with you girls. Ever since I was crowned princess I’ve been overloaded with work.” Twilight Sparkle sounded slightly apologetic.

“Come now Twilight, you should know better than to make excuses for us. We are your friends and know you try your best to make time. (cough) And besides, if you need help (cough) I don’t mind becoming princess for a day.(cough, cough)” Rarity said to the princess with the ever so subtle devilish grin on her face.

“I can handle it by myself Rarity. And besides I don’t need you taking over to make everything fabulous just like you did a few months ago with that dark magic book.” The group of ponies shared a laugh while the unicorn in question ‘hmphed’ lady like, pretending to be insulted, before grabbing one of those fancy shmancy orderves with her magic.

The good time continued with laugh after laugh and bite after bite of tasty treats. All the while Twilight grew more and more curious of the center piece in the middle of the group. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a plate with a dome lid on top. But something about it called out to her. It started off with a ‘hey I’m right here’ to a ‘hurry up and bucking open this thing already’, gradually winning over her attention.

It was about time for the sun to go down when the picnic was coming to a close. All the food was gone along with every ponies built up stress. As the six ponies were putting away their dishes and trash in baskets they brought with them, Twilight began to feel a lot less full of food. She turned to the center to see the center plate still untouched by anypony.

If I ate now I wouldn’t have to bother the cooks for anything later. The lavender princess thought to herself. “Is anypony going to eat this?”

“Nah, go head sugarcube.”

“I’m fine darling. I ate far too much as it is.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Ok. If nopony else is going to take, I’ll help myself.”

“Wait a second. I thought all the food was eaten. Is there still so-TWILIGHT STOP!” The pink party pony was too late.

Twilight had already taken a bite of the mouth watering, tongue tingling, taste bud overload known simply as, the taco. With the first bit in her mouth and the rest in her magical grip, she stood there dumbfounded. The other elements of harmony slowly catching on to what happened one by one. At this point they all had an expression of pure terror mixed with confusion. An expression that spoke in a universal term no matter the species. ‘What the buck did you do!’

“What?” The question coming out slightly muffled by the veggies and hard shell still in her mouth.

“Twilight do you know what you just did!?!”

The alicorn hesitated for a second looking directly at the pink earth pony. Then she ever so slightly shook her head in a ‘no’ fashion. Pinkie then runs up to Twilight in a flash holding onto her shoulders, face pressed to face, and with a truly terrified look.

“You just ate a piece of the Taco of Destiny!”

“...And…?”

“And you doomed all of Equestria! We have about five minutes before the whole planet explodes! EVERYPONY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!”

Pinkie runs away like her life really did depend on it. The other four ponies followed suit, running to their respective homes. Hoping and praying in vain that there was something they could do to before the great collapse. But lets face fact here, there was nothing five normal ponies could do anything against the oncoming storm.

Confusion, bafflement and disorientation. These were only some of the many different emotions Twilight Sparkle was feeling right now. The taco, long since fallen to the ground, left her standing there on the plain, grassy field. Only one word ran through her mind at that moment in time.

“What?”

The door to the library swung open with tremendous force, it was almost enough to break the door.

“Spike!”

“What is it?” Twilight saw the baby dragon walk down the stairs, stopping halfway. “Woah, Twilight. Where’s the fire?”

“No time for that Spike. I need your help to initiate plan SOAR WE DIVE.”

“What!?! Are you serious!?!”

“Now Spike!”

Spike got to work right away grabbing all the essential materials needed for their plan to be set into motion. Twilight began concentrating and gathering magic for the spell that would drain her for potentially years to come. Spike was practically dying getting the plan ready, running here, placing talismans there. It was absolutely exhausting on the poor little bastard. He was nearly done setting up for the spell when an earthquake starts racking the library.

“Twilight! It’s started!”

With a few more seconds to gather the last of the magic see needs. Suddenly she released the enormous surge of magically energy which spread through all of Ponyville. Large tendrils of magic reached out to five different area’s. Applejack’s farm house, Rainbow’s cloud mansion, Fluttershy’s cottage, Rarity’s boutique, and Pinkie’s bakery. Once the tendrils touched the buildings a pink circular barrier formed around them, shielding her friends from whatever would happen. A bit selfish if you ask me.

Earthquakes grew to massive magnitudes reaching as high as 5.5 or however high it goes. Volcanoes burst forth, erupting like never before like that girl I once knew. Super cell storms took shape instantly ravaging the creatures below as if they were Elites and ponies were The Flood. Ponies died by the hundreds every second that passed. As the final moments of the planet faded Twilight finished her spell completely protecting her and her friends.

Then the inner core erupted destroying everything and every creature on the planet. After what seemed like hours, and what must have been, Twilight was able to talk.

“Spike...can you tell me...what it’s like out there.”

Spike almost ran to the door. Actually that was an understatement. Spike did run to the door, he sprinted to it as if his life depended on it. Reaching the door knob he yanked it open and what he saw almost scared him speechless.

Equus, the home planet of the pony race, the griffon race, the zebra’s, the changlings, manticores, anons, and all manner of creatures has been destroyed. The only thing that remained of the once beautiful planet were four small land fragments and one big ass cloud mansion. All of which were surrounded by a light, mostly clear, lavender magical aura.

“Well...the spell worked.”

“I need your help getting over there.” With a push and a shove Twilight crawled over to the door. “Oh. My. Celestia. Is this really what happened?”

“You couldn't have prevented this Twilight don’t blame yourself.”

“Don’t kid yourself, Spike!” The pony and her assistant turned toward Sugarcube Corner to find Pinkie Pie yelling at them from her room window near the roof. “Twilight was the one who doomed us all.”

“What? There’s no way Twilight would do this. Your Pinkie Sense is off Pinkie Pie.”

“She’s right, Spike.” Applejack called out from her barn. “She’s the one that ate the taco.”

“I didn’t know!” Twilight yells back.

“What do they mean Twilight?” Spike asks.

“I don’t really know what happened but they kept saying something about the Taco of Destiny.”

“Taco of Destiny? Wait I think I’ve heard of that.”

“What do you mean you’ve heard of it? There’s no such thing!”

“Spike, don’t let her fool you.” Pinkie interrupts the two in the library.

As the elements of harmony continued to argue more of them came out of hiding when they realized that they were still alive. Spike went deeper into the library, more specifically into the magical artifacts section. The baby dragon pulls out a book, one that he remembers reading one late night afternoon. Ancient Artifacts of the Lost World, thats the book he pulled out. Opening the...what was it called again? Guide? No that’s not right. Context? Index! He pulled it out to found what he was looking for then went straight for that page.

“Hey Twilight look at this.” Twilight manages to pull herself away from her scolding friends. “It’s called ‘The Taco of Destiny’. Says here that it’s a very old eatable artifact that was made by a creature known as Solaris. It was made to not only hold together but also maintain this world. The structural stability is magically translated into this world, connecting the two in a harmonic relationship.”

“But that doesn’t explain how Pinkie had it or what it’s doing here in Ponyville of all places.”

“Well it says here that the last recorded place it was kept was with the somepony called The Secret Keeper.”

“Twilight!” Before another headache could fall upon the already frustrated mare, she realized that the one who was talking was in fact Princess Celestia. “Twilight, are you still in there?”

“Yes! Oh yes, am I glad to see you.” Twilight yells in excitement as she runs to the door.

Laying eye’s on the goddess, Celestia was floating, or perhaps hovering, in the empty space in front of the library. She had an appearance that spoke in several forms of exhaustion. Her mane was no longer radiant, bags were under her eye’s, and she hadn’t been wearing her usual royal attire. Or in other words, she looked like shit. Twilight never saw her mentor in such a state.

“I see you knew what would happen and helped your friends. That’s the most important thing. I regret to say that I’d rather you six are safe and sound out of the others in Ponyville. We could really use the elements.”

“Excellent idea but first things first, do you know about ‘The Taco of Destiny’?”

“Of course. But what about you? It looks as if you knew about it too if you took measures to protect your friends.”

“Well...funny story-”

“Princess,” two alicorns turn to a certain pink pony who was yelling at them some fifty yards away, “don’t listen to a word she says! She’s the one who took a bit out of the taco and doomed Equestria!” The other elements shouted in agreement.

“What! Twilight, is this true?” Celestia turns back around.

“How was I supposed to know!?!”

“Twilight...” Celestia puts a hoof to her temple to try and hold back a headache. She fails miserably. “Out of anypony in Equestria, you should know about things like this.”

“But a TACO?”

“Just...I can’t deal with this know. I’m going to join Luna and Cadence with piecing back whatever is left of Equestria.”

“Can I help?”

“NO! You’ve done enough damage already. When we need you, it’ll be to use the elements again. Stay here for now and try not to destroy another planet.” Just like that, Celestia was off. Twilight was revisited by her friends, now that I think of it can’t really be called her friends anymore, who began scolding her.

“Ooooo. I really screwed up this time.” Twilight said, mostly to herself, as she laid on the ground taking her scolding in stride.

“Think of it this way,” Spike chimed in “With no bad weather, no Everfree Forest, no bad ponies, no villains, and no more Equestria, things can’t possibly get worse.”

“That’s not helping.” Twilight began to cry. It was the type of cry that looked funny. Like ha ha funny not oh this feels weird funny.

“Well I tried. I’m going to make some tea.”

And that’s the story of The Taco of Destiny.

The End