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by Purple Smart

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 3738

The semi-accurate, kind-of-complete, sort-of-official guide to the bugs, beasts, and baddies of Equestria. With exceptions.

Cryptozoology (from kryptos, "hidden" + zoology; literally, "study of hidden animals") is a study involving the search for animals whose existence has not been proven. This includes looking for living examples of animals that are considered extinct, animals whose existence lacks physical evidence but which appear in legends, and wild animals dramatically outside their normal geographic ranges.

Now, none of the creatures mentioned in this guide are fake. In fact, each and every one of these have been spotted in Equestria at one point or another. However, if existence has been proven for each creature, why has there never been a single piece of documentation for any of them? This is an issue that needs to be fixed.

Published 2014-11-04 04:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-06 06:24:20 UTC

Back to the Basics

It was a pretty normal day in Ponyville. The clouds were placed accordingly by the pegasi on sky patrol duty, the residents were moving about their usual business, and the city has been free of monsters, villains, and unwanted visitors for at least a year now. That's a new record. Meanwhile, a certain pink party pony was prancing about, giving out invitations to her latest party.

"Ooh, Roseluck, don't forget to bring some of your amazing flowers to the party!" Pinkie said to the red-maned pony.

"Sure thing, Pinkie, anything for you!" Roseluck replied.

"Oh, and don't forget to bring those party hats, Cheerilee!"

"Wouldn't dream of it Pinkie!"

"Applejack! I need some of your best apple cider!"

"Ain't a problem, Pinkie, see you soon!"

"Oh, and don't forget- huh?" Pinkie Pie stopped in front of a pony she had never seen before. "Gasp! A new pony in ponyville! This is really great! Where are you from? Are you excited about being in ponyville? Will you come to my party? It wasn't for any occasion, but now that you're here, it can be a welcoming party! Isn't that exciting? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

"Hmm..." mumbled the stranger in response. He wore a white jacket and a book bag around his torso, as well as a matching white akubra on his head. His dark grey mane and brown fur gave him a serious look overall, but the smirk on his face says otherwise.

"Whoops, sorry, I forgot to ask for your name!" Giggled Pinkie Pie, "Can't have a welcoming party without knowing your name, silly me!"

"It's Field Work." Said the new pony.

"Ooh, you mean you work in the fields like Applejack? You two should totally talk to each other! I bet you two can talk about the best ways to grow apples and stuff!"

"Heh, that's not exactly what I do..." Says Field Work.

"Oh, then what is it that you-" Pinkie suddenly looked up. "Oh, wait, I'm still planning for the welcoming party! I still need some cake some punch..."

"Excuse me, ma'am, but I never agreed to-" That's as far as Field Work got before the Pink Pony pranced onwards to invite more ponies to the party. He sighed, then reached into his book bag. He flipped to a page full of notes and made some corrections.

Earth Pony - Earth ponies are one of the three main species that live in Equestria. Though they lack the ability to use magic or fly, their connection to nature makes them just as necessary as and perhaps more important than the other ponies, since they have the extraordinary ability to grow and harvest food at an incredible rate. Earth ponies are capable of performing incredible feats of strength with little or no visible strain, and enjoy long-lasting stamina as well. Most earth ponies are docile in nature. The behavior of the earth ponies tends to be erratic, due to the boundless energy and strength that they have.

Field Work nodded at his correction, although he was a bit upset about that he was misinformed about his own race. Nonetheless, he thought, this will all be worth it in the end. Just to be safe though, I should probably check up on my other entries.

"LOOK OUT!!!" Field barely had enough time to jump out of the way of a cyan pegasus, who immediately crashed into the spot where he was just standing. A yellow pegasus soon joined the one on the ground.

"Oh my." said the shy pegasus. "Are, you okay, Rainbow Dash?"

"Ow... yeah, I'm -ow!- I'm okay Fluttershy..." Rainbow Dash winced at every word.

"My goodness, you sound hurt! I need to take you to my place to treat your wounds!"

"No, it- ow!- it's okay, I'll be fine..."

"Nonsense! I insist you follow me at once! I mean, if that's okay with you..."

"OW!... okay..." Rainbow Dash rolled his eyes and tried to get up, only to quickly slump back down. "OW! It really hurts now!"

"What's going on over here?" A white unicorn with a purple mane came up. "Can't I go out for a stroll and not see you injuring yourself for once?"

"Haha, very funny" Rainbow said sarcastically, followed by more cringing.

"Oh, Rarity, thank goodness you're here!" Fluttershy said. "Rainbow needs medical attention, but she can't move!"

"Well, that does seem like quite a predicament." Rarity held a hoof to her mouth. "But don't worry, I'll assist my friends in anyway I can!" Rarity focused intensely on Rainbow Dash, and her horn glowed blue. Rainbow Dash was lifted in the air with an aura of blue magic.

"Thank you! Quick, we must hurry." Fluttershy said as the three left towards Fluttershy's cottage.

Hmm, thought Field Work, I haven't seen much pegasi and unicorns where I come from. Maybe now is a good chance to look back on my notes and make sure that my research is correct.

Pegasus - Pegasus ponies, or Pegasi, are ponies characterized by their wings and their ability to fly, walk on clouds, and control the weather. Pegasi demonstrate great speed and agility in the air, and are equally matched on the ground. It is believed that pegasi contain a very limited amount of magic, allowing them to manipulate the clouds and stabilize the weather, assisting in the crops tended by earth ponies. Pegasi are notorious for their organised, militaristic behavior, and will care for others in need over their own needs.

Unicorn -Unicorns have a long horn protruding from their forehead which glows when their magical powers are used. Although they are associated with their magic, a unicorn's horn is strong and sharp enough to have mundane uses. However, instead of using physical strength, unicorns make the most use if their intellect and their ability with magic for almost every situation. Most unicorn magic revolves only around their natural talents, since unicorn magic itself does not happen without reason. That is why an infant unicorn is at his/her critical stage, since they get strange magic surges that come and go.

Seems about right. What else is there? Field Work turned the page. On the next note was a single word underlined with arrows pointing back to the three previous entrees.

ALICORN.

Oh, yeah that's what I was here for. Field looked around, trying to spot the alicorn he had been searching out since he got here. Finally, he spotted the large crystal castle, and started to walk towards this.

"Time to fix this once and for all." Said Field Work to no one in particular.

Coming to a Blind Alley-corn

Alicorn - Alicorns combine the aspects of the three main pony species. They have the magical powers of the unicorns, the flight abilities of the Pegasi, and the strength of a good, true heart of an Earth Pony. The appearance of alicorns are very rare, and as of now, there are three-

Wait, only three?, thought Field Work as he looked up from his notes. Let's see, there's Celestia, who raises the sun. Luna, she raises the moon. Cadence, ruler of the Crystal Empire... Oh! Wait! There's that new alicorn! He looks up at the crystal tree house in front of him, shaking his head for forgetting about the one alicorn he was searching for. Now, what was her name again? Ah, I'll figure it out later.

Alicorn - Alicorns combine the aspects of the three main pony species. They have the magical powers of the unicorns, the flight abilities of the Pegasi, and the strength of a good, true heart of an Earth Pony. The appearance of alicorns are very rare, and as of now, there are three FOUR different alicorns, each with an important role in Equestrian society.

Eh, a bit short. I'll add more later. Field pushed the doors open and walked in.

Before him stood an impressive collection of books from all over Equestria. Not even the Royal Canterlot Archives rivals the amount of documents in this castle, as stacks and stacks of books, parchments, and scrolls fill rows and rows of bookcases, tables, and posts. A particular book stood out to him, mostly because it was isolated from the other books in front of what appears to be a large mirror, but he decided that wasn't important right now. What is really important is that he finds what he was looking for.

A purple alicorn approached him, although her head is too busy being buried in a book to look at the newcomer. "Sorry, it's after hours, I can't help you right n- oh!" She looked up. "Hello! My name is Twilight Sparkle, are you new around here?"

"No, I just been hiding in my house all these years and I finally decided to come out of my house for the first time to pay tribute to the resident Princess." said Field Work sarcastically.

Twilight had trouble thinking of a response. "Oh... um... good for you?"

Field waved the comment away. "Kidding, kidding. I'm not from around here. I was wondering if I could look through some of these books?"

"Well, normally, I wouldn't let ponies in, since this is the time I do some research, but since you are new and not aware of the opening hours, I'll let you stay this time. What is your name again?"

"Field Work."

Twilight smiled. "Ah, are you a bit of a researcher?"

"You could say that. It's a closer guess than what that pink earth pony thought I was."

Twilight covered up a giggle. "Heh, I guess you've already met Pinkie, and she's probably going to throw you a welcoming party. Well, I'm a bit busy right now, but let me know if you need anything." She walked off.

Field Work took out his notepad and flipped to the page on alicorns. He decided that he should try to add a little bit more to his notes, although at this point it is all mainly speculation.

Alicorn - Alicorns combine the aspects of the three main pony species. They have the magical powers of the unicorns, the flight abilities of the Pegasi, and the strength of a good, true heart of an Earth Pony. The appearance of alicorns are very rare, and as of now, there are four different alicorns, each with an important role in Equestrian society. Although each role varies differently from each other, it is without a doubt that they hold an equal amount of importance in maintaining stability. The origin of the alicorn remains unknown, but once transformed, an alicorn has the strongest of all magical powers, and use their skills for the betterment of ponykind.

Satisfied, Field put down his notepad. Alright, time to find some information.

After several hours of fruitless searching, Field Work groaned. He was getting nowhere fast. It's well into the night, and he still hasn't gotten anywhere near what he was hoping to achieve that day. Frustrated, he decided to leave and come back tomorrow.

Except for the fact that it seems to be really dark all of a sudden. Huh, he thought, I could have sworn that there were at least a few candles lit up a while ago...

"Hello? Erm... Twilight? Are you there?" Field work tried to use his hooves to slowly feel his way around. "Twilight, if you're there, I could use some help..." Suddenly, his hooves came across something fluffy. Huh, what's this?

Suddenly the room was lit up, and Field found himself holding the mane of the pink pony he met earlier. He was also surrounded by many other ponies who all simultaneously yelled, "SURPRISE!!!" as balloons and streamers slowly became more noticeable in the room.

"Surprise!" yelled Pinkie Pie. "Were ya surprised? Were ya? Huh? I hope you really like this party cause I spent a lot of time planning this. Okay, maybe it wasn't originally a welcoming party, but hey, now that you're here it can be a welcoming party! Come on, let's HAVE SOME FUN!!!" Everypony cheered and started to celebrate. Music began playing in the background.

Field Work rolled his eyes. Well, this has been hopeless, but a party does sound nice right now. Maybe I will stay for a little while, and then I'll- hmm? Field turned around as he felt somepony tap his shoulder. It was Twilight.

"Oh, hello Twilight."

"Hello... Field, was it? Sorry I didn't give you a better warning, but you'll get use to Pinkie Pie eventually." Twilight grinned. "I hope you enjoy your stay here!"

"Actually, Miss, I was planning to leave after this party."

"Oh? Was it something I said?" Twilight said apologetically.

"Not at all, Miss. I merely came here to look through your archives, but I could not find what I was searching for."

"Hmm... is there any way I could help? You were calling my name earlier..."

Field gave a sheepish grin. "Oh, I just needed some help getting around in the darkness, sorry about that."

Twilight nodded her head. "Well, the offer still stands. If you ever need any help, I'll assist in any way I can." She began to walk away.

"Wait, actually..." Field started, causing Twilight to turn back around. "you might actually be able to help me, except... nah, let's not worry about it tonight. There's a welcoming party to celebrate! Let's go and have fun." Field smiled. Twilight smiled and walked away again.

Field pulled out his notepad and made one more addition.

Alicorn - Alicorns combine the aspects of the three main pony species. They have the magical powers of the unicorns, the flight abilities of the Pegasi, and the strength of a good, true heart of an Earth Pony. The appearance of alicorns are very rare, and as of now, there are four different alicorns, each with an important role in Equestrian society.Although each role varies differently from each other, it is without a doubt that they hold an equal amount of importance in maintaining stability. The origin of the alicorn remains unknown, but once transformed, an alicorn has the strongest of all magical powers, and use their skills for the betterment of ponykind. Alicorns, or at least one in particular, are very willing to help those in need. They offer their services to assist those who need it, and for that I am grateful.

Smiling, Field work put away the notepad and went to enjoy the party. Well, I'm staying in this city for a little bit longer, that's for sure.

Stop Dragon Your Feet and Help

Dragon - Dragons are creatures that are typically with serpentine or reptilian traits. They come in many different sizes, although most dragons are typically larger than a house. There are many creatures that have a similar physique to a dragon, but must not be confused with a dragon, such as a sea serpent or a hydra. An easy way to identify a dragon is by it's tendency to hoard gems. All dragons tend to have a natural adoration for gems, both as a treasure and as nourishment. There have been reported cases of transformations caused by greed, and precaution is needed when one tries to approach it...

[Several pages of notes later]

...one could therefore be able to avoid any conflict with a dragon by simply avoiding eye contact, unless the dragon wishes to establish conversation, which is a sign that the dragon wishes to proclaim a negotiation. Dragons are amazing, powerful creatures, and should be treated as such, with lots of respect, honor, and ice cream.

Field Looks up from the notes he was writing down. "Ice cream? Are you sure these are actual facts, or are you just trying to get a treat?"

"Of course they are!" said Spike.

Field looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Okay, maybe not that last part..." Spike admitted. "But at least I'm honest! You should write about that!"

Twilight Sparkle rolled his eyes. "I think Field has enough to work with now, maybe you can help clean up the confetti from last night's party?"

Spike got up and walked away grumbling "yeah, yeah," grabbing a broom before he left the room.

Twilight turned back towards Field Work. "So, did you find what you were looking for?"

Field Looked back through the past few pages. He had a plethora of information about dragons. True, some of it might have been biased towards the small purple dragon, but it can easily be fact-checked with the equally voluminous books about dragons. He had enough notes to write his own report on dragons, and because he interviewed a live, breathing dragon, it was a bonus, since he had personally seen one up close. He had all the knowledge about dragons he would ever want to know.

"No." He said simply.

"Wha~? No?!?" Twilight was surprised. "But- you have plenty of notes on dragons! Wasn't that what you wanted?"

"Sure." Field got up and walked to a bookshelf. "Answer this question: Do you have any books on the Great Dragon Migration?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes, there's some books on the third shelf by-"

"That's fine." Field began again, interrupting Twilight, "How about the three pony tribes? Any books about the founding of Equestria?"

"Um... yes, that would be near the-"

"Mmhmm, okay, that's fine. What about the first two alicorns, Celestia and Luna? Any books there?"

"Well, that would be either The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide or the Journal of the Two Sisters, but I'm not sure if I should-"

"Uhuh. Great." Field stopped looking around and looked directly at Twilight. "Now answer this: Do you have any books on how to deal with a changeling attack?"

This question caused Twilight to raise an eyebrow. "Well, no, but-"

"What about parasprite infestations? Diamond dog attacks? Timberwolfpacks?"

"Erm... no. Sorry." Twilight began to see what he was trying to get at.

"All of these strong, powerful, destructive creatures, all living in the land of Equestria, and no pony, not a single one, has ever written a single book about it?"

"Well, there has never been a need to." Said Twilight, trying to calm down Field Work. "Starswirl the Bearded has made references to his battles with mythical creatures, but only to show a way to defeat them. No other pony has ever actually had a problem with these creatures."

"No pony, you say?" Field said, thrown a different notepad at Twilight, who caught it with her magic. She opened it up and looked inside.

North Star- Gender: Male, Age: 21, Task: Navigator, Cause of death: Venom (Chimera)

Packer- Gender: Male, Age: 19, Task: Supplyholder, Cause of death: Attacked (Manticore)

South Star- Gender: Female, Age: 20, Task: Navigator, Cause of death: Drowned (Cragadile)

Stable Pines- Gender: Female, Age: 16, Task: Builder, Cause of death: Infestation (Parasprite)

Berry Scent- Gender: Male, Age: 20, Task: Hunter-Gatherer, Cause of death: (???)

Task Work- Gender: Male, Age: 24, Task: Leader, Cause of death: Ambush (Dragon)

There were a few more on the list, but Twilight stopped reading. "Your father's name was Task, wasn't it?"

Field Work nodded. He shifted his book bag and lifted his jacket up slightly. Twilight gasped, for she saw a deep burn mark along the side of his left foreleg. "I travel from place to place with my pack. He was the leader. He... he sacrificed his life to save all of ours."

Twilight looked down. "I... I'm sorry to hear that. I guess it was hard for you to see Spike here."

Field was quiet for a while. "...No, not really. I understand that he's nicer, and very helpful to you. I'm just a bit upset that I could not find any other information about any other creature."

Twilight nodded. "Yes, I can see why that would be beneficial to your nomadic lifestyle. Unfortunately, aside from you and your allies, I'm afraid I do not know many other ponies who would be in harm's way frequently." Twilight sighed. "If only there was some pony who was actually willing to go out and do some research on his own."

"Ma'am, you're a genius!" Field looked up excitedly.

"I am?"

"Yes!" Field began to put the books away and pack up. "The solution is so simple! I'll go out and research it myself! That way, I'll have experience to deal with the situations whenever they come up!" Field shook Twilight's hoof. "Sorry to be in a rush, Miss, but I must be going now! I hope to see you again! Bye!"

"Wait!!!" Twilight used her magic to stop Field in his tracks. "You can't just go out there alone! You'll get hurt."

Field smirked. "It's okay, Miss, I'm been wandering around for quite a while, I know how to take care of yourself."

"But now you will be alone! It'll be even more dangerous."

"Ma'am, please." Field became more serious. "My father lost his life in order to protect ours. I must make sure that he did not die in vain. I am willing to sacrifice my life in order to guarantee no more of my friends get hurt. Do you understand?"

Twilight looked at him carefully, sighed and let him go. "Fine. But at least let me ask one request of you, as payment for using the library at closed hours."

"What is it, Miss?"

"First, enough of the formalities, I never liked it. Just call me Twilight Sparkle."

"Okay, Twilight. What do you want?"

"I want... to help you."

Field grinned. "Clever."

Twilight Smiled back. She slowly charged up a spell and aimed it at Field, catching him off guard. "This spell will offer you some protection as well a an increased healing ability. I know you will probably be alone most of the time, but I want you to promise me that you will try to find someone to help you on each new journey. Also, I want you to report to me every time you complete a new research. Got it?"

"Got it." Field got up and brushed himself off. "And thanks... Twilight."

Twilight nodded. "Good luck on your quest." She waved at Field.

Quest? Thought Field work as he turned and left. Heh, yeah I guess this is like a quest. Looks like it's all up to me now.