A Screwy Pony Needs a Doctor

by Discorded SheepcityUSA

Rating: teen
Tags: Doctor Whooves, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Derpy Hooves, Screwball, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Length: 4073

The Doctor and Derpy travel to present-day Canterlot, where it happens to be Hearth's Warming Eve. Overall, everything looks about how it should be...save for one little filly that appears to be by herself in what should be a joyous time.

The Doctor and Derpy travel to Canterlot on Hearth's Warming Eve, hoping to catch a little bit of the joys of the holidays...

Unfortunately, The Doctor witnesses a sight that is nearly enough to break both his hearts. A young, purple filly wearing a beanie is seen standing at the statue of Discord, appearing to be all by herself on this joyous holiday.

And thus meet two of the loneliest beings in the entire ponyverse.

This is pretty different from how I usually write Screwball, but I wanted to write something hearths warming eve related, something involving The Doctor and Screwball, and something to break my writer's block.

Published 2014-12-25 05:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-25 05:00:06 UTC

Hearth's Warming Loneliness

The cold, winter snow continuously fluttered to the ground, further covering the streets of Canterlot in a big, white blanket and overall complementing this time of the year very nicely. It was in the middle of winter in Equestria, a time where ponies celebrated the most cheerful and joyous holiday of the year, Hearth’s Warming Eve. This holiday was a time of happiness, giving to others, and spending time with friends and family.

The ponies of Canterlot happily trotted the city streets, doing whatever they had left to accomplish before the holiday’s arrival; whether it was finishing a little bit of gift shopping for their loved ones, or simply going home to get out of the freezing cold snow, everypony was in an overall pleasant mood at this time of the year.

Yes, this indeed was the happiest of holidays…

…Except for two, very different, and very lonely ponies…

In one of the many empty back-alleys of Canterlot, a stray cat was digging through a trash can, hoping to scrounge up some food for its next meal. Winter tended to be a very unforgiving time for homeless animals, and unfortunately for this poor little soul, he was no different.

However, he received the surprise of his life when he heard something echo through the long, empty alley.

WREOP WREOP WREOP.

The sound scared the thin feline out of his wits, and in his new, terrified state of mind, shrieked in fright, and scurried deeper into the alley, hoping to avoid any imminent danger that the noise may bring. Not long after the noise had begun, something had begun to materialize into existence in the alley, accompanying the noise it was making. Once it had finished, it was much clearer as to what exactly this object was. It was a big, blue box with two doors and two windows on its front, and a bright, shining light on the top, as well as the words “Police Public Call Box” labeled across it.

The box had finally finished materializing into the alley, and after a few moments, one of the doors swung open, and two, equine figures stepped out of it and onto the snow-coated ground. One of them was a brown-coated, Earth Pony stallion with a mane that had a much darker shade of brown, big blue eyes that shined with cheerful curiosity as well as old, experienced intelligence. Around his neck was a bright red tie, and his Cutie-Mark was an hourglass.

The stallion observed his surroundings and inhaled heavily.

“Ah, here we are Ms. Hooves. Present day Canterlot. Hearth’s Warming Eve, looks like it.” The stallion said with an accent that was unidentifiable to his associate, accompanied by a big smile.

The pony in his company was a grey, Pegasus mare with a blonde mane and tail, with a Cutie-Mark of a flurry of bubbles. The one thing that made this mare unique however, was the way her large, yellow eyes looked in different directions.

To keep her warm in these elements, she had a very long, multicolored scarf draped around her neck, presumably given to her by the stallion. Even though it did provide some level of relief, the mare still shivered at the cold weather.

“Brrr…C-Cold Doctor. It’s very cold.” The mare stuttered over her words due to her teeth chattering from the snow.

The pony the mare identified as “Doctor” looked back at her, still with that huge smile on his face.

“Well of course I’d imagine it’d be cold in the winter, Derpy. Is that scarf at least providing some warmth?” The Doctor asked.

Derpy nodded. “Oh it is but…why do you have a scarf that’s this long?” she asked, looking with a raised eyebrow at the unnaturally long scarf she was wearing.

The Doctor chuckled at that.

“You’d need to talk with my fourth regeneration on that one Ms. Hooves. I’ve had quite a few different tastes in clothes in my lifetimes.” The Doctor chuckled. He waved a hoof, gesturing Derpy over to him. Derpy did so, both of them standing at the end of the alley, looking out onto the festively decorated and busy streets of Canterlot, crowded with ponies that were eager to complete their errands or go back to the warmth and comfort of their homes.

“Huh. Kind of reminds me a lot of Christmas back on Earth. You ponies are very similar to humans in many respects…except maybe just a wee bit smarter and slower to fight.” The Doctor said, slightly relishing in his memories of Earth.

Derpy turned her head to The Doctor, looking a little curious as to what he was saying. He’d gone into talking about his previous companions and life before Equestria before, but hadn’t brought up this Christmas thing before.

“Really? What was that like for you Doctor?” Derpy asked.

The Doctor tilted his head and clenched his teeth.

“Ehhhh…I haven’t had the best experience with it in all honesty. Seems like the Earth just likes to scream “Invade Me!” that time around; world ending threats and all that lovely stuff. Not to mention I’m…on my own a lot, so…not like I have anyone to celebrate it with in the first place.” The Doctor sighed, looking at the snow-covered ground, which all of a sudden looked very interesting.

The feeling of being alone wasn’t particularly new to the Time Lord-turned-pony. Living as long as he did and keeping peace in the universe so that everyone (or as of late, everypony) can live happier and peaceful lives, came at a major price. In his lifetimes, The Doctor had seen more pain, suffering, and death than any other being alive, including having to fight the Daleks to extinction, as well as his own race just to end the bloodshed. To assume that being involved in something of that magnitude wouldn’t have a negative effect on a man would be foolish.

The biggest pain in The Doctor’s two hearts though? The feeling of constant loneliness. The Doctor was very, very old, and had lost so much in his time of living as a result of his old age, including his home, his species, his family, and all of his dear companions that he’d had aboard the TARDIS in his travels.

That was the curse of being a Time Lord. Living long enough to see those you care for leave your life for good.

Derpy must have noticed just how forlorn and sad The Doctor was looking from reminiscing his past, and her ears folded down to her head, now wearing a little bit of a worried look. She had seen The Doctor like this a lot in their travels together, and she always hated seeing him behave this way. It really hurt to see such a strong pony looking so upset. Derpy scooted closer to him and threw half of the scarf around his shoulder, pulling the two of them closer together. The sudden contact made The Doctor blush.

“Hehehe…Erm, Derpy what are you doing?” he chuckled nervously.

“Doctor, I want you to remember that as long as I’m around, you will NEVER be alone. Everypony deserves to have fun with their friends this time of year, especially you. You’ve done so much for the ponies of Equestria. You deserve to take a breather every once in a while. You always ask me what I want to do in our travels…so what do you wanna do for Hearth’s Warming?” Derpy asked with a smile.

This is what The Doctor loved about his companions. Always know what to say and when to say it. Derpy was special though. There was just something about this wall-eyed mare that really gave him a sense of true happiness in this world of talking ponies that he didn’t fully understand just yet.

“…Thank you Derpy.” He said with a hearfelt smile. “You know, I’ve always wondered how the Canterlot Gardens looks when there’s snow everywhere.” The Doctor turned his head towards the castle that sat not too far in the distance; the resting place of the Canterlot Gardens.

“Well it sounds nice Doctor, but…the Canterlot Gardens are kind of an “Authorized Personnel Only” place ever since…well… “You-know-who” broke free.” Derpy said.

The Doctor let out a hearty laugh. “Oh Derpy Hooves my dear, you underestimate me. A little bit of convincing talk here, some psychic paper there, and voila! We are as good as in!” The Doctor declared.

Derpy stifled a giggle by holding a hoof to her mouth. “You think you’re soooo brilliant, don’t you?” Derpy jokingly asked.

The Doctor put on a face of mock annoyance at that. “Oi! I am too brilliant! I’ll get us in those gardens, just you see! Off we go to the castle Derpy! Allons-y!” The Doctor cheered, raising his hoof in the air.

“...What?” Derpy asked.

“It’s French for “Let’s go.” The Doctor explained.

The Canterlot Gardens were normally a place for ponies to trot about as they please and observe the lush, greenness of the gardens, as well as the many statues that resided within it. As of late however, the gardens have been deemed “off-limits” due to some very recent, world-shattering events that had taken place due to inadequate guarding of one statue in particular. Three little fillies had gotten into a rather large scuffle over the meaning of the statue, which allowed the monster that resided inside to escape and wreak havoc all over the peaceful kingdom of Equestria.

Since then, only very authorized ponies were allowed in to make sure that this disaster never happened again. The entrance to the gardens were on constant watch by members of the royal guard, two of them to be exact; neither of them unwilling to move an inch from their post.

Of course, that wasn’t going to keep The Doctor from trying his hooves at getting in.

“Halt! Who goes there?!” One of the armored ponies shouted, holding a spear to his side, blocking The Doctor’s and Derpy’s path.

“Woah! Sorry fellas. Didn’t mean to set you off. Just me and my associate here to check things out before we head on home.” The Doctor said, hoping to calm the guards down. He then reached into his tie pocket, pulled out a small wallet with a blank piece of paper inside. He showed it to the two guards, which seemed to put them a little at ease.

“Well, while I appreciate your concern…” One of the guards takes a closer look at the paper, appearing to try and see something. “…Mr Time Turner, I can assure you we are perfectly capable of doing our jobs. We really don’t need any help.” He said.

“I have no doubt about that, but I’m just doing my job just as you’re doing yours. We’ll just be in for a moment and then we’ll be on our merry way and out of your mane.” The Doctor said.

The guards looked curiously between each other, contemplating the situation for a moment. Finally, they moved their spears out of their paths.

“Yes sir. My apologies Mr. Turner.” The guard said.

The Doctor nodded and passed by the guards with Derpy by his side as they trotted into the front gate of the Canterlot Gardens. “Oh, it’s perfectly fine good sirs. We’ll only be a minute. A Merry Hearth’s Warming to you!” The Doctor said with a smile as he and Derpy trotted further into the gardens.

“How did you learn to be so convincing?” Derpy asked.

The Doctor let out a slight chuckle. “Years of practice. You need to be able to do that if you want to get anywhere as a time traveler you know.” The Doctor said.

As The Doctor and Derpy trotted through the gardens, they started to observe many of the statues that resided there. Many of them, The Doctor saw, seemed to represent some sort of wholesome aspect of Equestria. One of them was several foals happily playing and standing on top of each other, and The Doctor seemed to find it rather fascinating.

“Derpy, what does that one mean?” The Doctor asked, pointing at it.

“I think…I’m pretty sure that one represents friendship.” Derpy said, rubbing a hoof underneath her chin.

“Oh! What about that one!?” The Doctor happily asked, pointing to another statue. This one was a noble pony standing on its hind hooves and holding a flag.

“That one means victory Doctor.” Derpy responded.

“And that o-“

“Doctor, are you going to actually look around, or are you just going to keep asking questions?” Derpy asked with a deadpanned expression.

The Doctor gave off a sheepish smile and blushed a little. Seems he’d gotten a little too caught up in the entire ordeal. “Oh yes…My mistake Ms. Hooves.” He chuckled. He started to take a moment to actually look at the gardens. The ground, much like the streets, was covered in snow. The fluffy whiteness complemented the statues rather nicely, seeing as many of them were also covered in snow.

“This place does look rather…pretty. It’s nice being able to just take a moment to appreciate natural beauty and not dealing with the newest threat to Equestria.” The Doctor said.

“I know what you mean. Hard to believe that just a few weeks ago we were fighting off a horde of Cyberponies…or was that a month ago?” Derpy asked herself, starting to look a little confused and deep in thought.

“Don’t worry Ms. Hooves. That happens a lot actually. Turns out it’s pretty easy to lose track of time in the TARD-“ The Doctor stopped his rambling for a moment when his ears twitched and appeared to pick up a faint sound.

“Doctor, what’s wr-“ Derpy was cut off by The Doctor’s hoof covering her mouth, leaving her with a rather confused look in her crossed eyes.

“Shhh. I hear something. Mmph…So much for nothing getting past the guards.” The Doctor grumbled. Derpy silently nodded due to the hoof covering her mouth. The Doctor removed it and crouched low to the cold ground, gesturing for Derpy to follow him by jerking his head to the side. Derpy got into the same position and followed him.

“Do you know where it’s coming from?” Derpy asked in a whisper.

“I’m not sure, but…it sounds like…somepony’s…crying?” he said.

“Crying?”

“Well…more like singing in between sobs. Let’s see if we can find out who…or what’s making it.” The Doctor said, still crouching low to the ground and crawling across it to lead his companion through the gardens.

Derpy was about to voice her concerns on what exactly the sobbing being could be, when she turned her head to what seemed to be the source of the sound. Whatever it was…was coming from the part of the gardens where… “he” was kept.

“U-Umm…D-Doctor…I think it’s coming from…over there.” Derpy mumbled nervously, her head slightly shrinking back into her scarf in fright.

The Doctor turned his own head where Derpy was looking…

Bear in mind that The Doctor has seen some things that nopony should ever have to see. So much destruction, bloodshed, and death had never been witnessed by any other stallion…

This sight however, was by far one of the most hearbreaking.

The Doctor was now looking at a very specific statue in the gardens. The one that contained the most infamous tyrant in Equestrian history, the one that caused the most anarchy and unrest ever witnessed by pony eyes, and the one who’s living flesh had been turned to stone on more than one occasion to bring order back to the peaceful land of ponies. It had the face of a pony, and the body parts of many different animals. The monster’s body was twisted and contorted, and he had a pale, terrified look on his face, as if he had been in the middle of screaming before he met his demise.

Discord. The Equestrian God of Chaos.

The statue of Discord itself though, wasn’t what was causing The Doctor the pain he felt in his chest right now though. What was causing THAT, was what was sitting at the foot of the statue of the draconequss. Looking up at the creature was a dark purple filly. She had a purple and white, curly mane, had a continuously spinning beanie on her head and her Cutie-Mark was a screw and baseball.

Her eyes however, where unlike any others that The Doctor had ever seen. They were swirled the same colors as her mane, and looked very hypnotic and…terribly sad. Her eyes, while rather wacky-looking, were full of despair. Like she had completely lost her entire world.

The Doctor was all too familiar with that look.

The source of the crying had turned out to indeed be the filly herself, as she returned to her singing, not noticing The Doctor or Derpy hiding behind a statue nearby and observing her.

So there you are my Dad, a statue oh so cold so dead
You tore their world apart and everypony lost their head
Now I must carry on making Chaos for you instead
'Cause you are my Daddy Discord and I am a piece of you…

The Doctor tried to sum up the feelings he was having over this new development, but was coming up with anything short of heart wrenching. This was already a big enough shock to him that the God of Chaos had a daughter. A being that, according to the filly, was actually cared for by the monster.

Derpy wasn’t fairing much better. Her crossed, yellow eyes were tearing up from just hearing how sad this filly was from losing her father to the Elements. And now she was all alone. On Hearth’s Warming Eve too.

The filly sighed in despair and her own, swirled eyes started to tear up.

“…I miss you daddy.” She mumbled.

Derpy turned to The Doctor, still with tears in her eyes.

“D-Doctor…s-she’s…”

“I know…but…you know I can’t let Discord out Derpy.” The Doctor said with a sad look in his eyes.

“B-But…”

The Doctor sighed in a mix of a sort of sense of helplessness and sadness at the same time. “Derpy, he isn’t meant to be freed yet. Discord being turned to stone is a fixed point in time. Even more fixed since I’ve witnessed those events, and it’s something I can’t change. Eventually he’ll be let out and be re-united with his daughter but…” The Doctor looked back at the crying filly at the foot of Disocord’s statue. “…Just not yet.”

Derpy looked back at the filly. She knew The Doctor was right, but that didn’t make things any easier on how she was feeling. Hearth’s Warming was a time for happiness and family, and from the looks of things, the only family this filly had was turned to solid rock.

“…However…” The Doctor’s voice made Derpy’s ears perk up.

“…That doesn’t mean we can’t give her some good company. You said it yourself Derpy. Everypony deserves to have friends on such a happy holiday.” The Doctor said, trying to hold a smile. Derpy managed to turn up a smile as well. That was The Doctor she knew.

“…You really are an amazing pony Doctor.” Derpy said.

“Hehe. The like to you Ms. Hooves. Now, let’s see what we can do about this.” The Doctor said, standing up and trotting out from behind the statue and towards the filly with Derpy following not too far behind.

“Excuse me young filly!” The Doctor shouted to the pony. The filly’s head jolted up and she quickly turned around, all of a sudden looking a little frightened.

“W-What? Who are you? What are you doing here?” The filly asked, stuttering over her words and starting to shake a little.

The Doctor waved his hooves in front of her to show they weren't of any danger to her.

“Easy now. There’s no need to be afraid. We just want to help.” The Doctor said, speaking as softly as he could.

The filly appeared to ease up a little, but wasn’t entirely sure she should be very trustworthy of these unfamiliar ponies. How did she know that they weren’t just sent by Celestia to track her down. Who’s to say they weren’t going to turn her to stone just like her dad?

Derpy caught sight of how scared this filly looked at the sight of them, and tried to speak up as well. “Hey now, it’s okay. We just saw how lonely you looked and…wondered if you wanted to join us for a little Hearth’s Warming fun? Come on, what’s your name?” Derpy asked.

The filly didn’t look completely convinced of these ponies’ innocence, but something was telling her that even if they had some sort of ill will against her, they probably wouldn’t be able to do much. She was the daughter of Discord after all. A spawn of pure Chaos magic.

They wouldn’t be a threat if they tried something.

“…It’s Screwball.” she said.

The Doctor trotted a little closer to the filly and knelt down to her level.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you Screwball. As you would guess, nopony should be alone at this time of the year, and well…aren’t you cold out here?” The Doctor asked, noticing the filly’s lack of anything to keep her all that warm. A little shiver from Screwball confirmed The Doctor’s theory.

“Do you want to…maybe come with us to my ship where it’s warmer?” The Doctor asked.

“I-I guess I could but…” Screwball looked back at the statue of Discord with a hesitant look in on her face. “I-I don’t want to leave my daddy.” Screwball said sadly, with a few tears starting to form in her eyes. The Doctor put a hoof under Screwball’s chin and turned her face back towards him.

“Screwball, I…I understand that you love your father dearly. I understand the feeling of losing loved ones all too well. But you won’t need to worry about leaving your father for too long. I’ll be able to bring you back to only a few minutes away from this very moment. A few hours or so for us, but only a few minutes for him.” The Doctor assured her.

Screwball looked back at Discord’s statue, still looking a little worried about leaving her dad behind.

“Um…daddy?...Can I?” Screwball asked it.

There was a seemingly long silence, and a period of time where nothing seemed to actually happen, at least from the perspective of The Doctor and Derpy. After a few seconds though, she grew a big, ear-to-ear grin and her swirled eyes sparkled.

“Oh thanks daddy! Don’t worry, I won’t stay out too long!” Screwball said happily, hugging the statue around the waist and nuzzling it. Compared to how Screwball looked earlier, this really warmed both of The Doctor’s hearts, and Derpy’s too. Screwball trotted next to The Doctor and Derpy, and followed the pair as they began to trot out of the gardens.

“I hope you realize that I’m trusting to random ponies that I’ve never met before. You promise this’ll be fun?” Screwball asked curiously.

“Oh sure! We’re gonna have tons of fun! We can read Hearth’s Warming Stories, bake festive muffins, maybe go to a planet where the oceans are made of chocolate milk!” Derpy rambled about the possibilities that the night could have. Screwball’s eyes widened at the mention of chocolate milk oceans.

“…You have my attention.” Screwball said.

The Doctor laughed and put a foreleg around the little filly’s shoulder.

“Hehe. Screwball, I promise you’ll have a real good time sticking with us. Trust me…” The Doctor then flashed a smile. “…I’m The Doctor.”

Author's Note

Merry Christmas everyone! :pinkiehappy:

Anyway, I'd wanted to do a Hearth's Warming story, but at the same time, I'd wanted to do a story with both Screwball and Doctor Whooves. So, this is the result. If this is received well, I could do a sequel someday. Could maybe show Screwy's adventures traveling with The Doctor and Derpy.

Oh god though, I wish there was just a feels tag instead of a sad tag. :twilightangry2:

Anyway, this is AU is sorta based off The Master's Tumblr blog where he lost The Drums when he was sent to Equestria, and combined with the magic, created Discord. So essentially, Screwball is the pony granddaughter of The Master here.

Comments are always very appreciated. :pinkiehappy: