A Serious Story

by Back Door Mare

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 1137

Ponyville's preeminent partier goes to work, spends time with friends, and has an existential crisis.

Some sentiments are not limited to a particular time and place, but move freely between every reality, and occasionally tap you on the shoulder. When this happens to a normally chipper pony, it shakes her sense of security.

Forewarning: the pacing and narrative quirks are intentional. If you prefer more traditional storytelling, I can only hope this doesn't turn you away.

Published 2014-11-17 13:50:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-17 13:50:07 UTC

A Serious Story

"Pythagoras said that this world was like a stage,"—Richard Edwardes's Damon and Pythias

"All the world's a stage,
and all the men and women merely players."—Shakespeare

"Is there too much quotation at the beginning? Eh, I'll just edit it out later."—A procrastinator

***

There once was a very-light red pony, however the majority of the very-light red pony's friends called her Pinkie Pie. Why? Well, she was really good at math.

One day, Pinkie was walking along the road in Ponyville. She actually didn't walk in the traditional sense. It was more like a hop.

Pinkie bounced along the path, however, another distinction is necessary before the story can continue. Rather than sound like hooves on stone, such as one would expect, each bounce made a “springy” noise. This suited Pie, for her hair was springy, and also, she had an air of spring about her. That is, if spring flowers bloomed cotton candy.

She went along, saying "Golly Granola What a Great Morn" to all the pedestrians. Some smiled and some nodded and some looked concerned. Some of the older boned folks couldn't hear her particular pitched voice. It was high enough to be used for audio tests.

Like those springs, helium lungs were appropriate, for she had balloons on her rump. The ponies didn't let those fool them though. They knew she was higher in the clouds any balloon has ever been.

As for Pinkie's destination, she had a great one. It was the greatest business in the world, where she worked the greatest job in the world, and had the greatest bosses in the world and made the world's greatest edibles. The great in this instance is referring to quality, not size. Proportions were reasonable...but the taste was absurd. Seriously though, those treats were delicious.

Arrive soon she would. On the corner stood a square. She saw it was a grapely colored pony with strawberry and purpleberry highlights and a pinkish brain. She had no recollection of this stranger and continued to her destination.

"In 30 feet, turn right"

T right. Twilight. Of(f) course!

She turned around and jetted toward her now confused friend Twi-right. Truth be told, everyone was confused.
The two small talked like old friends in new bodies. PP told TS (Sparkle) all about her morning and the excitement she felt. The grape seemed to understand and revealed her destination was identical. This was location wise, not occupation. Pinkie consoled her friend, assuring that her job was not that incredibly awesome in comparison to her's. Twilight said some more things but Pinkie didn't really hear. It's not that she wasn't listening, but that she was just so happy. She wore the happiness like fluffy earmuffs.

After all that happened, the pilgrims arrived. The journey had been longer than they expected, but along the way, they learned things about each other and themselves that they would not soon forget. Pinkie had spotted a toast crumb in Twilights mane. Moreover, Twilight must have ate toast for breakfast. It was very likely that she was getting her daily recommend about of fiber. Unless... what if it was white? Pinkie knew herself to be more than white, but less than red.

"Twilight"

"Yes, Pinkie Pie?"

"Thanks for walking with me. You're a super friend."

Twilight started to look like Pinkie in her cheeks. Pinkie was especially glad she could spread herself around.

Then they ate cake.

At work, Pinkie performed her job diligently and with uncommon decorum. As she baked, a touch of frosting was in her hair. Frosting covered the corners of her mouth, from “shrink”of course. Sometimes she licked the beater, but, understandably, the Cakes frowned on this. Other times, her coat would be white from the flour. If Rarity was baking cookies, how would she know if she was covered in flour? Maybe she is covered in flour all the time. Pinkie made a note to test this hypothesis.

When the last cupcake hit the tray, Pinkie Pie was done that day. Pinkie exploded (do not be alarmed, the previous usage was metaphorical) with joy when she learned Rainbow Dash was waiting out back. The coolest pony in all of Ponyville waiting to hang? This day was definitely getting recorded in her best day ever journal, maybe even in the top 300.

On the way to the track, Rainbow talked about her awesome new training regiment and how earlier Fluttershy was frighted by the wind rustling some branches, I mean who is scarred of the wind that is silly? While absorbing the steady stream of conversation like a simile sponge, Pinkie thought about something. She thought: does anything we do matter or have any consequence? Do we have a choice to exist? Is not existing impossible? Is the essence of existence to throw parties and make others happy? What if everything I know about reality is false? Are we infinitesimal in the scheme of things? Are we simply inventions of a larger consciousness? Is something observing us, watching our every move and judging our every action? Are we simply an experiment, or worse, mere entertainment for some indifferent entity?

After acting as the official stopwatch for RD's laps, they both headed to the Hayburger to celebrate a record breaking time. In the restaurant, they had a best lumberjack laugh competition and ended up laughing out the door, having been asked to leave.

Now it was getting dark, and Rainbow needed to be hitting the hay. Luckily hay cannot be represented in Equestrian court of law, and even if it could, what would be a jury of its peers, barley?

The two walked toward Sugar Cube Corner, enjoying the quiet night and mild breeze.

“Rainbow Dash” Said pony yawned

“Ah, yeah Pinkie?”

“Am I silly?”

“Definitely,” Rainbow said flatly

She smiled jocularly and looked toward Pinkie Pie's face, but Pinkie was looking down with a concerned expression.

“I mean, you're not ALWAYS silly.” the silence continued

“What I'm saying is, you can be serious, but you're silly- a lot. But in a good way.”

Speaking candidly was draining and Rainbow Dash was tired as it was. Suddenly she felt Pinkie hugging her. Pinkie had tears in her eyes and even though she didn't understand, Rainbow felt as though she was tearing up as well.

“Common now Pinkie, everything's alright,” She wasn’t used to emotional comforting. Usually, that sappy stuff was for other ponies like Rarity.

Within a short time they arrived. Pinkie seemed ok by then and Rainbow asked just to make sure. The Very-Light Red Pie sniffled in the doorway and waved at Rainbow Dash's form disappearing into the night. Entering Sugar Cube Corner, she smiled, remembering that tomorrow she would need to lick Rarity to discern her flour content.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading :heart: