The Journal
"I think I have done it. I think I've finished my quest. All these years of helping all those who sought me out, all these years of making a difference. In the end they were going to go to waste. Not now though. Now, I've done it. I will not end here. I will live on forever. If somepony finds this then I shall tell you why I did this. I may not even remember this anyway, so it's good to have a reminder. A reminder of my epiphany.
These long years I have served the royal family faithfully and never questioned their ways. I even taught their daughters. Such beautiful mares they have become. I am so proud of them. By their side, I helped create spells that would aid the land for many, many centuries. I forged the elements to be the perfect vessels for our hopes and dreams. They promised that one day this land would be at peace. They kept their promise and have always fought for the benefit of us all. Having said that I found that they were wrong. I was too for so long. I was wrong for not questioning them. It was only when I neared the end of my life that I realised the truth. I could not die, I had so much more to do. Some have tried to help me. They said I would leave quite the legacy. A legacy is just a story though. I want to be in the flesh and among the living.
I will be among the living. I shall never die. I won't face death yet. Death has claimed so many that I have held so close but not me. Not now, not ever will death greet me again. They say that it is natural but I put it to you, how many lives could have changed the world if they had only got to live longer. The royal family have had it backwards all this time. For years they crusaded for harmony which was a good way of creating peace but it not what we should have been focusing on. Many wasted years. If I had realised sooner, who knows what I could be doing now. One thing makes up the world and it is not harmony.
Think carefully now.
What is always constant? What is there, in every story, in every town, in every soul. We try to cover it up but it is there. It gives our lives a certain something that almost feels natural. If any other pony said this you might call them crazy but I have worked far too hard to be laughed off. If this doesn't work then I am sorry. At least I would have ended this life trying to succeed in perfection. I plan on using that one thing to transcend my current mortality into something greater. I'll be able to help generations upon generations of ponies until time stops. What is that constant thing? You should have guessed by now. Every species, great or small, is capable of the same thing on pretty much the same scale, if they wish. All anypony needs to do is simply will it and they can create it. It binds us all to each other, becoming the ultimate symbol of unity.
Chaos.
Chaos is the one thing that seems to live forever. If I can channel it, I can remain constant. Even if it dissolves this body I can just craft myself a new one. Think of it dear reader. Chaos embodied into one form. Think of what I could do with that. I would no longer be bound by what makes sense. I could help millions of dreams to become reality and see the light from a millions of different faces. I know it seems difficult to understand but try. When you understand chaos you will know that it isn't out to get us. Quite the opposite. It is here to be our constant companion. From when we are first born to when we are knocking at death's door, it influences us in ways you couldn't possibly imagine yet. You will soon see though.
If I fail.
If I fail and you find my body, a lifeless husk of my former self. Then I ask you, please help me succeed. See where I went wrong and continue this work. If I cannot continue to help then perhaps you can. The spell I will perform will no doubt take a lot out of me but if successful, will offer so much potential. The thought of what I will be able to do. It brings such a smile to my face. I can hardly keep from laughing. That's the first thing I'll do if...when I succeed. I'll make the laughter go on. No more sorrow in this world, only laughter will remain. A monster doesn't know the true value of laughter, therefore what I will become will no more be a monster than sweet Princess Luna. They will be pleased with what I have done. Perhaps they'll want to try it as well.
This spell will be my masterpiece. If I leave behind one thing for future ponies to study, it will be this spell.
Here's to the best outcome"
After you finish reading the journal you look around at what was once Starswirl's lab. The rest of his notes were too badly destroyed in the explosion. His study is now decorated with claw marks and burns. When you sniff the air though, it doesn't smell of burning. It smells sweet. You exit. You know you have to tell somepony. On your way out, you swear that you hear a chuckle for each step you take. How naive of you to think nothing of it. Even after he told you his intent. That was rude.
Fortunately, I know how hard he worked for this. He may be gone but I can assure you it is in name only.
