Suicidal Tendencies

by P0nies

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Fluttershy
Length: 1501

There is a fine line between knowing what YOU want, and what the darkness wants you to do.

When a young pony's mind is plagued by dark thoughts, will she take the leap of faith, ultimately ending the darkness dwelling inside of her?

Published 2012-04-25 17:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-25 17:34:01 UTC

The Darkness Within

There is a darkness that lurks within each and every one of us. Some are aware of its presence, and let the shroud of its darkness plague their minds, while the others treat it as a mere thought, nothing more or less. Some can fight, some can win. Just because you choose to fight the darkness within yourself, doesn't ensure a victory. It feeds of of you, and knows anything that may wander into your mind, waiting to torture you as soon as the dark falls upon the eyes.

The thoughts that manifest themselves within the mind of anypony may not be true to their spirit, and those always come back to haunt their dreams. They only have one way out, and when ponies think that they are on the brink of insanity, they lose hope and give in. They have lost the war with the enemy inside, dying at blade of their own hooves.

Suicide.

It was the evening of what had been a beautiful day full of sunshine, warm weather, and the the smell of clean, crisp air. It had always seemed to be better up here for Fluttershy, standing on the highest point in Manehattan. This had always been her secluded zone of tranquility, her place to find peace and to just sit back and think about life and all of her friends.

Her spot wasn't occupied very much on a normal basis, because after all, she did live in Ponyville. To see her in Manehattan meant that something was weighing heavily on her mind. She thought about how her friends had always been there to help her, and they were always there when she needed them most. But now they weren't. They thought she was crazed. They thought she was hallucinating. Rainbow Dash thought she was just trying to get attention. 'I never wanted any attention,' she thought, 'I just wanted my friends to be there to help me.'

“I wish Ranbow loved me back the same way I love her.” she mumbled softly under her breath.

“But she never will, Fluttershy. You are just a burden on her, she doesn't need you!” A voice rasped from her mind, the same voice that had put her here in the first place.

“W-what do you w-want?” Fluttershy asked the voice aloud.

“Just jump, and it will all be over. You will no longer be plagued by those that call you your friends, they didn't even believe I exist. So who are they to call you their 'friend'? They treated you as if you had told them Celestia was really a man!”

“They... They are my friends!” she yelled in a somber tone. “They only were saying what they thought, nothing more. And you don't exist, except to me. You are just here because you want to torture me. So, now I would like you to go away, if you wouldn't mind, of course.”

“How pathetic. No wonder they always saw you as a pushover, you never stand to fight for what you want. You just sit back and take anything that the world throws at you, not caring whether it is purely accidental or a purposeful act of hate towards you.” It snarled, “ And that mare you love, why do you love her? She doesn't even love you back!”

“She doesn't? I thought we were fine,” Fluttershy said in a whisper. “She said she loves me too, but just wanted to keep it 'low' because she didn't want anypony to know she was a mare-lover.”

“That should be a hint to say that she doesn't love you. She just wanted to spare your feelings. Me?” it said matter of factly, “I'm just here to help and show you how the world really is. How everypony sees you. How they all think you are a coward.”

“I'm NOT a coward!” she screamed, hoping that the invisible pony would soon leave her alone. “I'm not a coward...”

“It just goes to show how much you seem to care for those who don't care for you. How much you strive to be accepted into their society, and how much you fathom the thought of having any real friends.”

Fluttershy started to cry when she thought of how her friends treated her. They had always used her timid quality to make some use of her. Whether it was a simple job of helping test a spell, or fitting a dress for Rarity, they had used her.

“Th-they u-used me...” Fluttershy cried into her hooves before looking up, expecting to see a pony in front of her. All that was there was the empty space of the sky, stretching on endlessly.

“Damn right they did,” they voice echoed, “and you see that ledge over there?”

“Y-yes. I do.” Flutterhsy stammered, trying to stifle her sobs.

“That is your one way ticket out. That is how you can end all of this. How you can get payback for what they have done for you, and how they have used you.” The voice contyinued, “Jump.”

She walked over to the brick edge of the building, leaning over cautiously and looking down towards the sidewalk, ponies of all colors walking by below. She watched as they all lived happily, some walking with friends and others walking alone. They all shared one thing.

They were actually happy.

She lifted her rear hooves onto the brick ledge, pushing herself up to stand like a biped on the edge of the building. It was at least a 250 foot fall, and should hopefully be enough for what they voice had wanted. She looked over her shoulder, expecting to see somepony that she didn't notice. But what she saw was something much different from what she had expected.

Rainbow Dash was standing there, arms outstretched as if to help her down from the ledge. Determined to not be phased by an image of something not there, she looked back towards the street, lifting one leg off the ledge and then another. She was in a fall to her death, and she knew this wouldn't be something that she wanted to see. She closes her eyes tight, hoping to make this quicker than any of the pain she had experienced before.

Time seemed to slow as she fell, and the images of her and her friends came flooding back into her mind, reminding her of what this voice really was. Reminding her of how every mind has the darkness within, wanting to envelop the host in the darkness of death.

“Whatever it says, Fluttershy, don't listen to it, OK?” Twilight asked Fluttershy, the worry evident in her voice.

“She's lying,” it told her once again. “She just wants me for herself!”

“NO! You will not get him no matter how much you wish to have him, he is mine and he is NEVER going to be yours!” Fluttershy yelled at Twilight, the pony shocked at the volume of her voice.

“Fluttershy, he isn't real. It's just a figment of your imag-”

“My what? Imagination? I can tell you and anypony round here that he IS real! He is real!” Fluttershy bellowed as Rainbow Dash was about to speak.

“Fluttershy, please don't do this,” Rainbow asked. “I know you said you loved me, and I didn't say it back, but Fluttershy, I l-”

“I really don't care anymore what any of you think!” she screamed once again, and they knew she needed some help. “I'm leaving this place. Don't you dare follow me. He. Is. MINE.”

That was the last that Twilight and Ranbow had seen of her for the longest time, at least it was the last time that Twilight would see Rainbow Dash again.

“FLUTTERSHY NO!” Rainbow yelled as she dived for Fluttershy.

Fluttershy opened her eyes, and time was now going faster than it had ever gone before, the ground was getting closer much faster, and she thought she had heard Rainbow. But for all she knew, it was just another hallucination of her crazed mind.

She felt a burst of wind at her side, something faster and stronger than that of the fall, but it was just probably a gust of wind intersecting her fall. She knew she was wrong as a pair of hooves come rest upon her chest, trying to push her back up with great force.

Fluttershy heard a faint “I love you” before closing her eyes, not wanting to see the effects of her fall onto the concrete below. A slight whiff of a familiar mare she knew, someone special to her, Rainbow Dash. She opened her eyes to see her right in front of her, her eyes pouring tears as she tried to keep Fluttershy from coming into a horrible end with the ground.

Fluttershy thought, 'She will not die for me...'

A sudden, vicious CRACK echoed through the air as they came into contact with the concrete, both hoping they saved each others life.