The Mare Who Fell to Earth

by HudsonHawk

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity, Other, Romance
Length: 31600

An ordinary man meets an extraordinary woman. A woman who both claims to be a unicorn from the land of Equestria, and who possesses a medallion that may attract a great evil to our world.

James J. Quinn is an ordinary guy living in the town of Carney, Wisconsin. He's got ordinary parents, an ordinary sister and brother-in-law, and an ordinary nephew. As you can tell, he leads an ordinary life.

Then, one night, he meets a strange, disoriented woman in the woods. A woman with purple hair and sapphire eyes. A woman with three blue gems tattooed on her hips. A woman who claims to be a unicorn from a land called Equestria. A woman who calls herself Rarity.

This woman is also in possession of an medallion that has brought a pursuing evil to our world. Over the course of the next week, James and Rarity will develop a deep bond, heal a few wounds, and, joined by a few other Equestrian visitors, battle a madman for the fate of two universes.

Published 2014-11-04 02:10:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-12 00:43:16 UTC

Chapter Two: Sunday, April 27

“Give it to me.”

“I can't-”

“...just give it to him...”

“NOOOO!!!!!”

“Please, God. No...”

“I love you...”

“Don't go...”

I awoke with a start, drenched in cold sweat. The nightmares had come back with a vengeance. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw a familiar, purple-haired woman in my room. The memories of last night came flooding back.

“Rarity...” I said, with all the grace one can muster having been awake for fifteen seconds, “...what are you doing?”

“I got up to use the bathroom... and I heard you talk in your sleep.” She replied. “Who didn't you want to go?”

“Nobody. Just a crazy dream.” I lied.

“Are you sure, darling?” She seemed less than convinced.

“Yes. I'm very sure.” I reached over to my dresser and grabbed my cell phone to check the time.. It was 10:30 A.M.

“How'd you sleep?” I asked, trying to divert attention from the nightmare.

“I had a strange dream, too.” She replied, sitting on the bed. “I was falling in some sort of swirling tunnel, and I was holding that medallion you found me with. There was a voice... no, two voices... one saying that I can't escape, and one saying that they'll find me... I knew that other voice... It was Twilight!”

“Twilight?”

“My friend... one of my friends. I told you about her yesterday, the one who has immense skill in magic? The other voice was hers!”

“What did the other guy sound like?”

“Very dark. Gravelly. Had a bit of a Trottingham accent.”

“Trottingham?”

“It's in northern Equestria. I once had to make twenty gowns for an order from there in one night. It was the longest night of my life.”

“I'd believe it.”

“Back to the topic at hand, I know she's trying to find me... I know they all are. And I know they will.”

“How do you know?”

“Friendship, as life has taught me, is the greatest magic of all. True friendship makes you climb the tallest tower or brave the scariest place to help someone in need. It's capable of making people sacrifice their lives to save others. It's capable of causing people to lie and say the sweater a friend made them was beautiful, and wear it when you know, deep down, that it's just absolutely hideous, just to keep their spirits up. Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Spike... we're all ready to do those things for each other and more. We're all well-versed in the magic of friendship, and part of that magic is not giving up on a friend when they need your help. They'll find me. I know, deep in my heart, they will.”

I nodded. It sounded too heartfelt to be empty hope. If she had total faith that someway, somehow, her friends would find her, then I did, too.

“Well...” I started, “Since you may be here awhile, I'll be happy to take you around town and show you the sights.”

“I would love that.” She then saw Zar 'Roc. “Oh, my! That's a beautiful sword!”

“Thanks.” I said. “My best friend Matt got that for me for my birthday.”

"I love that sapphire in it! And the blade! It's just gorgeous!”

“It's an imitation sapphire. It's a replica of a sword from a movie.”

“Imitation? No matter, it's still pretty.”

“Never took you for a sword kind of woman.”

“I can appreciate the beauty in everything. Besides, just because I act like a lady doesn't mean I can't kick someone's flank if the need arises.”

Rarity got up and I swung my legs out of the covers and off of the bed. Rarity gasped when she saw my Zubaz.

“Don't worry. They're just pajama pants. I don't wear them in public.” I said.

“Thank Celestia for that! Those are a crime against fashion!” She replied.

I declined to reply. “I'll get that box of clothes out of the attic for you.”

“As long as they don't look like... those...” She said, pointing at my Zubaz, “...I'll be fine.”

Rarity headed to the bathroom while I headed upstairs to the attic. I opened the door and was greeted by the musty, dusty smell one comes to expect from a room used primarily for storage. I pulled the light chain and the room was awash in the 75-watt glow of the bulb hanging from the wall. Said wall had two shelves full of board games, next to which were several boxes. More boxes lined the rest of the walls, all neatly labeled. Located atop boxes labeled “SEWING MATERIAL,” “8-TRACK TAPES,” and “X-MAS DECORATIONS” was one labeled “CLOTHES FOR GOODWILL.” I dragged it downstairs and to the living room just as Rarity exited the bathroom.

“Help yourself.” I said, opening the box. Rarity looked through it. “Too formal. Too retro. No. No. No... Absolutely not...”

By the time she finished, she had settled on a maroon jacket, a black button-up blouse, blue jeans, and a pair of tennis shoes. I loaned her a pair of my socks and a belt for the jeans, and she headed to the bathroom to change.

“You know...” I said. “I said my family won't be back until Saturday night. You can change in my parents' room if you want. I mean, it's got more room and you'll have spaces to set stuff down on. You can also sleep in there until they get back, too.”

Rarity walked back out. “Thank you very much, darling!”

“No problem. You're my guest, it just wouldn't be hospitable if I didn't offer. Besides, their bed's huge and a lot more comfortable than the sofa. Their room's the second door on the left in the kitchen.”

Rarity happily walked off to change.

It was 11 AM before we left the house. I had changed into a blue Hawaiian shirt with white palm trees all over it, jeans with belt, and black hi-top sneakers, over which I wore my dark green trenchcoat. I grabbed my keys and stuffed them into my pocket just as Rarity walked into the room. She initially grimaced when she saw my shirt, but said she'd get used to it, as her father owned several just like it.

She then asked “What do you think?”

“It's you.” I replied. She noticed the ring I was wearing, a silver band with a green jewel set in it.

"Your ring is very lovely." She said.

"Yeah." I replied. "It's quite special to me."

We headed out of the house and into a beautiful Spring day; A little chilly, but not freezing cold. I unlocked the Malibu and opened the passenger side for Rarity. In minutes, we were on the road. Our first stop was Phil's Diner, a quiet little joint on Canal Street, just a block-and-a-half from work. I usually stop in twice a week for lunch.

“You're going to love this place.” I said. “They do a wicked chicken sandwich.”

“You... eat... chickens?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah. Chickens, cows, and other animals.” Then it dawned on me that, as a pony, she may be just a little averse to eating animals.

“Do you eat... ponies?”

“No...” I decided not to tell her what glue used to be made from. “Humans are omnivores: we eat both meat and veggies.”

“It's barbaric.”

“Then get a salad.”

We entered Phil's. There was an old-fashioned lunch counter across from the entrance, behind it was a door that led to the kitchen. There were three booths apiece to the left and right of the entrance, all but one were in use. A jukebox sat at the far end of the room, blaring Olivia Newton-John's "Magic," next to the door that led to the bathrooms. Phil Ioannides, the owner and namesake, was a jolly fat man in his fifties. He had emigrated to the United States thirty years ago and settled in Carney, setting up Phil's around the time I was born. He knew everybody in town, and made it a point to personally greet everyone.

"Ahh! Jimmy Quinn, how are you doing today?" Phil asked, with an infectious joy in his voice.

"Just fine today, Phil." I replied. "How are you?"

"I cannot complain. The sun is shining, I'm alive, my restaurant is still here. Life is good." He then noticed Rarity. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your lovely friend here?"

"Rarity, this is Phil." I said. "In addition to a good chicken sandwich, he makes some damn good cherry pie."

"You spoil me with your compliments." Phil said. "I can see why your parents named you so, miss Rarity. Someone as beautiful as you is truly a rarity, indeed." He then kissed her hand.

Rarity blushed. "Thank you, sir."

"I'll have Susan come out and get you set up." Phil said.

"Thanks." I replied.

Rarity and I took the empty booth, and Susan, the regular waitress here, walked up with menus. Susan was in her mid-fifties, and had been here ever since I was born.

“Hello, Jimmy.” She said.

“Hi, Susie!” I replied. “Nice to see you.”

“Odd seeing you here when you're not working.”

“Well, Audrey's friend came in from out of town, and I promised I'd take her around and show her the sights.”

“Oh. What's your name, sweetie?” She said, looking at Rarity.

“Rarity.” She replied.

“That's a lovely name. Well, welcome to Carney, and I'm sure that Jimmy here will show you all that needs to be seen.”

“I'm sure he will.”

Susan left our menus on the table, and Rarity and I began perusing them. The meal went smoothly: Rarity got a salad and a soda, I got a chicken sandwich and soda. We had just about finished when...

“Lookie what we have here!” A very familiar and very obnoxious voice bellowed. I turned around to see Jason Burdick, the sole guy in high school who fit the stereotypical jock image. Contrary to what TV and movies tell you, high school football players and cheerleaders are actually fairly nice and compassionate, although it's usually not seen in small towns like Carney. Unfortunately, Jason never got the memo on that, and lorded his status as a football hero over everyone he got the chance to, much to the annoyance of his teammates. Worse, his being the son of the principal gave him a license to get away with murder, as Mr. Burdick could never believe that his “red-blooded, football hero, man's man” of a son could have run the underwear of a member of the AV Club up the flagpole... while the student in question was still wearing them. The jerk had since become a policeman, and my dad shared my opinion: he was a jerk that no one would give two craps about if it weren't for his athletic achievements, once again, like most small towns. I wasn't shocked to learn that the eight years since high school graduation had done nothing to mature him, mentally at least.

“Hello, Jason.” I replied, in the driest, flattest tone imaginable.

“Ahh, if it isn't my dearest friend, Jimmy.” He replied.

“And if isn't Commodore Jerkass. Nice to know that some things don't change.” I waited for a reply, but he spied Rarity.

“Well, well!” He said, excited, “How did someone as fat and as nerdy as you land a babe like this?” I looked at Rarity and saw her giving a “drop dead” look to Jason, who wasn't getting the hint.

“She's a friend.” I replied.

“What, did you ply her with booze?” He asked. “It's only way I could see someone so beautiful hanging with someone like you.” Rarity, by now, was giving him an even sterner glare, one normally reserved for setting someone on fire with their mind. “What's your name, sexy?”

“It's Rarity.” She said, trying to put up a pleasant facade, but some twinges of a “screw off and die” tone remained.

“Rarity?” He said, incredulous. “What, parents former hippies or something?”

“It's a perfectly fine name, I'll have you know.”

“What's in a name?” He said. “How about you ditch this loser and leave with a real man?”

“When I see one, I'll flag him down.” I was mentally high-fiving her for that.

“Oh, he's right in front of you. I bet you don't know that I was quite a football player back in the day.”

“How charming.” Rarity said, in a voice tinged with sarcasm.

“You're not impressed?”

“So you threw a ball around? Lah-dee-dah.”

“I don't think you understand. I'm kind of a big deal around here.”

“I only see a very little man living vicariously through his past. If you're expecting me to be impressed by that, you're sorely mistaken.”

Jason looked at her, dumbfounded. “Stuck-up bitch.”

"Excuse me?" I asked. He could insult me all he wanted. Insulting a sweetheart like my new friend... that was another matter entirely. I got to my feet, only to be roughly shoved back into my seat.

“Shut up, lardass.” Jason said angrily. “This doesn't concern you.”

“When you insult her, that's when it concerns me.”

“I said shut up. Don't make me ask twice.”

“Or what?”

“I'm gonna beat you like a little red-headed stepchild.”

“Big words from a little man.”

This set him off. He took a swing at me and I prepared to block the blow, but Rarity was faster. Before he knew it, Rarity was on her feet. She caught his fist in one hand, and then socked him in the jaw hard with the other, in a perfect right hook. He flew a couple of feet and landed on the lunch counter. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and had been watching the situation unfold. When Rarity slugged Jason, people applauded.

“You bitch.” A dazed Jason started. “I'm a cop, and you're in BIG trouble.”

“What are you going to do, Jason?” I asked. “Arrest her for defending herself and a friend against a jerk with a badge who thought he was entitled to her, AND who tried to take a swing at an unarmed civilian?”

“Besides, there's a whole restaurant full of people who saw what happened.” Rarity added. “I don't think they're going to side with you anytime soon.”

Jason tried to say something clever, but due to either shock, the pain of landing on the counter, or both, he couldn't. He left, but not before saying “Quinn, one of these days, I'm gonna find a reason to bust your ass. Maybe then, when I'm through with you and your friend, you'll treat me with the respect I deserve.”

“Which is absolutely none.” Rarity added, as a parting shot. "See, we were treating you with the respect you deserve already!"

Phil was so impressed he comped our meal, just for the impressive display of “the girl with the megaton punch.”

Back in the car, I told Rarity of how impressed I was.

"It was nothing." She replied. "I just do not suffer fools gladly. I knew someone like him back in Canterlot; Prince Blueblood was his name."

"Bigger jerk, lesser jerk, or about the same?" I asked.

"A different kind of jerk: spoiled, vain, very elitist. He used me as a shield against a flying cake. Long story."

"What happened?"

"It was the straw that broke the camel's back on a night of jerk behavior. I called him out on it, he wanted me to stay away because he'd just been groomed, and I shook chunks of cake onto him asking him if he was afraid to get a little messy."

"Judging by what happened to Jason, he got off lightly. Doesn't make it any less awesome."

"Thank you, darling." She was blushing. "Do you have a napkin or a handkerchief in here? I'm sweating from what happened inside."

"Try the glove box."

Rarity opened it up and grabbed a napkin. A photo fell out, and she picked it up. "Who's this?"

I looked over. Crap. She had found a picture of Jennifer and I together.

"She's Jennifer. She was my girlfriend."

"Ooh... a special somepon-" She caught herself. "Someone?"

"It ended two years ago. I really don't want to talk about it."

"What happened?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it."

"I've learned that keeping things bottled up-"

"I. DON'T. WANT. TO. TALK. ABOUT. IT. Which part of that sentence did you not understand?" I snapped at Rarity.

Rarity looked over at me, a little surprised and a little hurt. "There was no need to be insulting."

I realized how harsh I had been. "I'm sorry. It's just a sore spot for me and I really don't want to talk about it. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Rarity thought for a moment. "I accept your apology. If you don't want to talk about it, then I should respect that. I'm sorry, too."

"It's okay." I started the car. "Let's see what else Carney has to offer, huh?"

Rarity smiled. "I'm looking forward to it."

We went to the park next, one of my favorite places to go when I'm in need of either a good think or just some time away from home. The park consisted of a few picnic tables with benches scattered around the area, a playground with a giant play area in the center, consisting of a small climbing wall, some monkey bars, a couple of slides, and a fireman's pole to slide down, and finally, my favorite, the swing set. Rarity beamed when she saw the swings.

"I haven't been on a swing since I was a filly!" She said.

"I've found it's one of those things you never outgrow." I replied. "When you get really high up, it almost feels like you're flying."

"I'll be the judge of that." Rarity took a seat on one of the swings. As she started to swing, I sat down on one next to her and started to do the same. Within a few minutes, she and I were whooping and yelling with excitement as we swung higher and higher.

"You're right." Rarity said afterward. "It really does feel like you're flying."

"Given what you've told me so far about yourself, I'm guessing you speak from experience?"

"Yes. My friends and I went to Cloudsdale, the land of the pegasi, to support Rainbow Dash in the Best Young Flyers competition. I volunteered to be atest subject for a spell that gave non-Pegasi wings, because only Pegasi can walk on clouds. Twilight found a cloudwalking spell afterward, and I really got into my new wings. It... didn't end well... but the point is in that last few moments on the swing set, I relived that feeling of flying through the clouds. I actually missed it a bit."

We got back to the house at around 6 PM, and we were exhausted. After the park, we went and saw "Transcendence" at the theater where I work, and had gone to Carney Fest, an annual celebration of the founding of our town (and the site of many laughs between the pair of us as Rarity turned the parade of people in period dress into an impromptu fashion show by adding commentary). I had just locked the front door when I heard a strange hissing noise.

"Did you hear that?" I asked Rarity.

"Hear what?" She replied.

"I dunno. "It sounded like a snake hissing."

"Wait... now I hear it... I think it's coming from under your recliner."

As if on cue, the chair shot up into the air. Rarity and I ran for it as the recliner landed on its side, right where we had been. We turned around near the entrance to the kitchen and saw... well... an it.

A very large and very hungry Venus Flytrap-like plant had shot up from the basement and crashed through the living room floor. Picture Audrey II, and you're right on the money. It roared at Rarity and I. We both ran into the kitchen. "Rarity, stay here. I'll be back."

"What are you doing?" She asked Incredulously.

"Trust me."

I ran into my parents' room and opened up their closet. Tucked into a corner was a large, rectangular case with the word "Winchester" on it. I opened it up and retrieved the .30-06 rifle from it. I then grabbed bullets from the box on the shelf above. I had it loaded as I returned to the kitchen.

"What is that?" Rarity asked.

"A rifle." I replied. Rarity looked at me with confusion, as if she had never seen one before, but chose not to ask further, as we had more pressing issues to deal with.

The flytrap was starting to pull itself out of the floor and trying to move toward the kitchen, letting out another roar for good measure. I took aim and fired. Rarity put her hands over her ears at the loud noise. My aim had been true: the shot struck the flytrap in the middle of its large head. It stopped moving.

Rarity and I walked over to examine the thing. I poked the thing with the barrel of the rifle. It didn't move.

"Well, I think it's dead." I said as we walked back toward the kitchen. I spoke too soon. I felt something wrap around my leg and pull me to the floor. The rifle flew out of my hands and landed on the kitchen floor, just out of reach. I turned and saw that the flytrap was still alive, bleeding from the wound but still hungry. A tentacle was leading from is mouth to my leg, slowly reeling me in. I grabbed the edge of the kitchen entryway in a desperate effort to delay my fate.

"Rarity!" I yelled. "Kick me the rifle, NOW!" She was nowhere to be found. "RARITY!!!" I felt my grip on the entryway loosen as the flytrap pulled harder. My hold gave and I was once again being pulled toward the gaping maw of the flytrap. There was nothing bolted down that I could grab onto. I thought I was done for. My life started flashing before my eyes: my parents waving me goodbye as I boarded the bus for my first day of school, Matt and I building a large tower out of Legos, my first kiss with Jennifer...

I then heard something fall in my room. Rarity then emerged, holding Zar 'Roc in a two handed grip. With a yell of fury she ran into the living room, sword held high above her head. She effortlessly brought the blood-red blade down on the tentacle holding my leg.

SQWILSHH!

The tentacle was neatly cut in two, and the flytrap let out a wail of pain as green chlorophyll sprayed everywhere. I managed to get to my feet and stumbled into the kitchen to retrieve the rifle. I returned to the living room, rifle in hand, and saw Rarity slice off another tentacle as it made for her leg.

"RARITY, MOVE!" I yelled as I took aim. Rarity dropped Zar 'Roc and dashed into the side hall as I chambered another round and fired.

Chambered. Fired.

Chambered. Fired.

Chambered. Fired.

Chambered. Click.

"Darling," Rarity started, "I think it's dead."

"ROARRRR!!!!" Nice job tempting fate, there, Rarity.

Rarity, thinking fast, grabbed the large pole lamp by the couch and shoved it into the flytrap's maw. When it bit down, it started to shake and writhe as the electric current was fed into it. It then began to smoke and spark. With one final roar, it finally died. I ran over to the wall and unplugged the lamp, mentally thanking whoever designed it for giving it a very long cord.

"Nicely done." I said. It was all I could say, really.

A few minutes after Rarity awesomely put down Audrey II, the police showed up in response to the shots fired. One look at what was left of the flytrap ensured our story was believed. After the remains of the flytrap were removed and the police finally left, it was 8 PM and I was staring at the hole in the living room floor, both wondering where the flytrap came from, and just how I was going to explain this to my parents.

"That plant shouldn't be here." Rarity said.

"You're telling me." I replied. "Mom and Dad are never going to believe this..."

"No, I mean, it shouldn't be in this world. That's a plant that's only found in parts of the Everfree Forest." She paused, noticing my confused expression. "The Everfree Forest is located..."

"Let me guess, in Equestria?"

"Yes. As for how I know that plant's from there, when you have friends like Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy, you pick up a lot of things you never knew before."

"So, what's it doing here?"

"How should I know?"

"I dunno, maybe it followed you when you came here?"

"Maybe, but like all plants it has to be planted in order to be of any use. Well, obviously..."

"So, I didn't plant it, and you didn't plant it. Who did?"

"I don't know, but I'm starting to think I wasn't the only one who arrived here."

I picked up Zar 'Roc from where Rarity had dropped it, and was about to return it to my room when I was then asked "What was that you used on the flytrap?"

"A rifle." I replied.

"What's a rifle?"

"A firearm. It fires a bullet that injures or kills the target."

"I have the feeling you humans use it on each other."

"Yes, the world's militaries use them. I'm guessing you don't fight with them back home?"

"No. Absolutely not. I mean, before the unicorns, pegasi and Earth ponies came together in harmony, we used swords to settle our differences... I don't really think I can complain, can I?"

"Depends. Do you guys still duel with them?"

"For sport."

"Then you can. Humans can fence for sport, but they can't use guns on each other. That would be murder."

I returned Zar 'Roc (and the holder, which was what crashed earlier) to its spot on the wall, and then went to find Rarity. She was sitting on the couch in the living room.

"I'm guessing that booth in the bathroom is a shower? I just need to clean this icky slime from the plant off me."

"Yeah. I'll go through the box of clothes and get you some pajamas."

She started for the bathroom. "Uh, Rarity?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you... for saving my life back there."

"It was nothing. Thank you for trying to stand up for me at the diner."

"As I said, he can mock me all he wants. He starts on you, that's too far."

'And he shouldn't have mocked you. You're a really sweet guy. Otherwise, you wouldn't have taken me in, loaned me clothes, or taken me out for a really fun day. That girl you were talking about earlier, Jennifer? She must not know how lucky she was, otherwise she wouldn't have left you."

The words cut a bit deep. "Yeah... otherwise she wouldn't have... left..."

Rarity went to clean up. I got her a set of purple pajamas out of the box and another new pair of boxer briefs. I handed them to her through the door when she asked for them. I got my iPod out of my room, slipped on the headphones, and hit random. Rarity came out fifteen minutes later, and noticed my iPod.

"What's that?" Rarity asked, slipping off my headphones.

"It's an iPod. It's a music player..."

"Ohhh... we have those back home. They're called NeighPods."

I was reeling from yet another bad horse pun when Rarity asked "Can I listen?"

"Sure," I said, passing her the headphones. I looked at the display to see what song was up next. It was Lauren Christy's "The Color of the Night," the awesome theme song to the serviceable thriller "Color of Night."

"This is nice." Rarity said. "It sounds like a nice slow dance song." She then looked at me and motioned for me to pause the song. "Fancy a dance, darling?"

I balked. "I... really can't dance."

"Oh, come on. Everybody can at least slow dance."

"I'm not one of those people."

"Can you at least try?"

"I don't know..."

"Please?" She asked, flashing me her best puppy-dog eyes.

How could I resist those eyes? "Alright."

After hooking the iPod into the stereo, I restarted the song. Rarity reached out and grabbed my hand. "Shall we dance?"

I walked over to her and she instructed me. "Okay. I'm guessing here, based on human anatomy, but here we go. Put your right hand on my left hip, and hold my hand up at about your shoulder level."

I did so, she then put her left arm on my other shoulder. "Okay. Now, just sway in time with the music."

We started just as Miss Christy began to sing, her smooth, lovely voice telling about two lovers moving through the dark.

I was beginning to enjoy myself, and I could tell in Rarity's eyes she was enjoying it as well. As we hit the chorus, she had me spin her.

Miss Christy promised everything she was if the man would only open up to her.

Rarity moved her hands to around my shoulders, and I, in turn, moved mine to around her waist.

All she wanted was to see him in the light, but he hid behind the Color of the Night.

We started moving around the room as the music continued, careful to avoid the hole in the floor. Rarity had me dip her.

She couldn't keep running from her past, as the mask had been torn away by love.

We continued until the song ended, our gazes held until the very end. After the song ended, I stepped back and kissed Rarity's hand.

"That was great fun." I said.

"I told you. Everyone can at least slow dance." She replied.

Rarity yawned. "Thank you for the dance, darling, but I'm going to go turn in now."

"That's fine." I replied. "I'll be heading off myself in a few minutes."

"OK then. Good night, Jimmy."

"Uh, Rarity?" I suddenly felt like telling her everything. About Jennifer. About what happened. About why I was short with her back in the car.

"Yes?"

I paused. I had lost my nerve. "...nothing. Good night."

Rarity blew me a kiss and headed off to my parents' room, leaving me alone in the living room. I thought of Jen. Of how we used to dance like that. I felt bad lying to Rarity about not being able to dance, but I felt worse about enjoying the dance with her. However, I saw how much fun she was having, and I didn't want to hurt her or make her upset.

"Jen..." I quietly said after I heard the door close, "I miss you."

Author's Note

Soundtrack:
Jerry Goldsmith - Hold On (from "Matinee"): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yW0HHQAcJhk (Jimmy gets box of clothes, Rarity chooses wardrobe, leaving the house)
Olivia Newton-John - Magic (from "Xanadu"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Magic/2Nnen?src=5 (Jukebox music)
Harold Faltermeyer - Ave Maria (from "Kuffs"): http://youtu.be/Pe3_bjiypGU (Conversation in the car, park trip)
Ernest Troost - Zombie Attack (from "Dead Heat"): http://youtu.be/NQk6JdsqQH0?t=12m58s (The flytrap attack)
Lauren Christy - The Color of the Night (from "Color of Night"): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv_j6BXeNGg (The dance scene)
Dave Grusin - The Goondocks (from "The Goonies"): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRW7LPuuOCo (Rarity goes to bed, Jimmy alone)

Chapter Three: Monday, April 28 - Part One

I woke up screaming. That had never happened before.

I managed to calm down just as Rarity entered my room, with a serious case of bedhead and a genuine expression of concern.

"What's wrong, darling?" She asked.

"Just a really crazy dream. Nothing to worry about"

"I'm not buying it this time. I've never heard anyone scream themselves awake before. You are going to tell me what's going on, and you will tell me NOW."

"It's really-"

"NOW."

I had no choice. I had to finally tell someone.

"It has to do with Jennifer..."

"You're still hung up on her? She left you. According to you, it's been two years. It's time to move on-"

"She didn't leave me, and I didn't leave her."

"Then what happened?"

I swallowed hard and began the story...

"I can't believe you forgot to get cash." Jen said, as we walked up to the ATM. "You really would lose your head..."

"...if it wasn't securely fastened to my neck." I finished. "I know, but I also know you wouldn't have it any other way."

"You're right." She kissed me as I turned to the ATM. "Well, just get some cash so we can go to dinner. I don't like to be here after dark."

"Just a few seconds." The machine deposited a couple of twenties. I had just stuffed them and my wallet back into my pocket when a man, smartly dressed in a suit and overcoat, approached us, hands in pockets.

"I'm very sorry to bother you two," He started, "But I've left my watch at home. Can you tell me the time?"

"Sure." I said as went to get my phone out and look. All of a sudden I heard Jen gasp. The man had pulled a .45 from his pocket and had it trained on Jen and I.

"Now... would you two be so kind as to hand over your purse, wallet, and valuables?"

We saw no choice. Jen and I complied. The man had nearly cleaned us out. He then noticed something.

"That ring on your finger." He said to Jen. "Give it to me."

"I can't." Jen said. "That's my grandmother's ring."

"Jen." I said. "Just give it to him."

The man pulled back the hammer on the .45. "You have til the count of five to give me the ring or your boyfriend dies. One..."

Jen started tugging at the ring. "It's stuck!"

"Two..."

I started to tug at the ring as well. "Come on..."

"Three..."

"Please... Just let us go. The ring won't come off."

"Four..."

"PLEASE!!"

"Five." He fired at me, but Jen pushed me out of the way and caught the bullet in the stomach.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!!"

The man then turned the gun to me. He pulled the trigger. The gun jammed.

"Shit!" He exclaimed as he ran off, stuffing the loot into his pockets.

I knelt down by Jen and cradled her in my arms. She had lost a lot of blood. I tried to apply pressure to stop the bleeding.

"Please, God. No... no no nonono..."

A man stepped out of his house. "What happened?"

"Call an ambulance, please! My girlfriend's been shot!"

"Jimmy..."

"No, Jen. Don't say anything. The ambulance is on its way... you'll be fine..." I said through pouring tears.

"...I love you, Jimmy..." She closed her eyes and was still. As still as death.

"Jen?" No reply. "Jen?! JEN!!!"

No reply.

"Please don't go. Don't leave me... JEEEENNNNN!!!!"

I knelt in the street, sobbing over Jen's corpse.

"They caught the guy a week later." I finished. "He's not going to do it again. I just can't shake the feeling that I didn't do all I could to save her. I should have fought the guy... I should have tried to get his gun... I should have remembered to get cash earlier so I WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN HER INTO THAT SITUATION... it's my own fault."

Rarity was looking at me with an expression of pure compassion on her face. "That nightmare was me living through it all over again, and I knew what was going to happen. I couldn't do anything. My mind was screaming at me not to go to that ATM, but my body still did it."

I stopped to catch my breath.

"The ring you were wearing yesterday... that was hers, wasn't it?" Rarity asked.

"Yes." I replied. "Her parents gave me her grandmother's ring at the funeral. They said I should have it. I wear it every day to make sure I never forget her, or my inaction. The doctor said that I've got survivor's guilt, but I look at the list of what-ifs... and I think that I didn't do enough. I was supposed to protect her... I always told her I'd die before someone would hurt her..."

The emotional dam burst, and I started sobbing uncontrollably.

"... and look at what that did. I couldn't save her... I couldn't protect her... I'm good for shit... I'm a worthless excuse for a man!"

Rarity was tearing up.

"I've never visited her grave since the funeral."

"Why?" Rarity asked.

"Because I'm afraid that afterwards... I'll do something rash."

"Like what?"

"Like jump in front of the next bus I see, or swallow the barrel of my dad's rifle."

Rarity looked genuinely shocked. She grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug. I started crying into her shoulder.

"Oh, darling." She said, as she rocked me back and forth. "It wasn't your fault."

"Oh, really?"

"You didn't know what would happen."

"Oh, yeah. That makes me feel so much better. That bullet was meant for me..."

"And she took it for you. If that isn't love, I don't know what is."

She put a hand under my chin and pushed my head up so I could look in her eyes.

"Maybe she took that bullet for you and that gun jammed because you were meant for something more."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, but what I do know is that if you had died instead of her, she would be in your position. She'd wonder what she could have done differently. She'd have wondered why you died instead of her. She'd wonder why she couldn't have saved you. Nothing would change."

I buried my head in her shoulder again and cried. She held me until the sobbing subsided.

"Another thing: you are not worthless. I've met a lot of people- er, ponies, in my life, and I've never known one who's not important. If you were truly worthless, you'd have left me in the woods. You wouldn't have given me shelter. You wouldn't be the kind and loving man who I've grown to like. If there's one thing you take away from the time we've spent together, Jimmy, please make it this: you are not worthless."

"I's just... I felt guilty as well. Everything we did yesterday just dredged up memories of Jen. I lied to you about not being able to dance. Jen and I did that a lot, and I didn't want to feel like I was disrespecting her memory, but at the same time I didn't want to let you down or hurt you by not doing it."

"Listen, darling, just because you and I did something that you used to do with Jen, and you enjoyed it, doesn't mean that you're disrespecting her memory. It means that you're starting to let go, to move on. I'm sure if you could talk to her one last time, that's what she'd say."

"If I'm moving on, then why do I feel so bad about it?"

"It takes time, darling. You're just starting to move on, so of course there will be some reluctance. If I may ask, was she your first love?"

"Yes."

"That's why. You never forget your first love. That's why the process is much more painful. Believe me when I say this, Jimmy: even though you'll move on and find happiness with someone else, she'll still always be a part of you because she was your first."

I finally smiled. "I actually feel a bit better already."

"And the process begins anew." Rarity said.

She paused.

"I have a bit of a confession to make, as well."

"Yes?"

"As much as I like you, and this world... I really want to go home. I really miss my friends, my family, my shop..."

"I wouldn't feel bad about that at all. It's your home, of course you're missing it. Mark my words, Rarity: you will go home. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon."

I paused. "Will you still hold me?" I asked.

"As long as you need me to." She replied

"All night?"

"All night, if need be."

She started to rock me again, and within a few minutes, we were both asleep.

Once again, for now, the nightmares had stopped. I woke up to the sound of the radio, and realized that I must have activated the alarm setting somehow. As I managed to shake the cobwebs out of my head, I realized that Rarity and I were still holding each other. "She kept her promise." I thought, and it warmed my heart, as I managed to catch the end of a pleasant little tune...

"And that was Dusty Springfield with her 1982 hit "But It's a Nice Dream" here on KRNY, the jukebox of Carney. It's 10:15 and by now all you working stiffs out there should be shaking off that case of the Mondays and easing into the work week..."

I managed to free myself, got up, and stretched. As I switched off the radio, Rarity started to come around as well.

"Good morning, darling." She said as she yawned.

"Good morning." I replied. "How'd you sleep?"

"Great. How about you."

"No nightmares, at least for now."

"That's great!"

"Still a weird one, though. I was having a chat with a purple pony, and it felt so real..."

Rarity shot up. "Purple mane... pink stripe in it? Same on the tail?"

"Yeah..."

"That's Twilight! What did she say?"

"We mainly made small talk, until the end."

"Well... what did she say?"

"She said, and I quote, 'Help is on the way.'"

Rarity hugged me out of pure joy. "I knew they'd come!"

"Outside of the nightmares, I've never had a dream that felt that real. Maybe they're here already."

Rarity shot out of the room like a rocket. "I'VE GOT TO GET READY! I'M A MESS!!"

As the dust cleared, I said to myself "It was a pretty big 'maybe' though."

After a quick trip to the bathroom and a shower, I got changed for the day. I slipped into a black T-shirt with the poster art for "Exterminator 2" on it, consisting of a burly man in a welder's mask laying siege to the scenery with a huge flamethrower. I followed that up with another pair of jeans, my belt with a belt buckle made out of an old NES controller, and my black hi-tops. I slipped the medallion into my pants pocket; after yesterday's incident with the flytrap, I knew someone was after Rarity, myself, and, presumably, whatever this was. I figured keeping it with me would not only make it harder for whoever wanted i to find, but also a way to make sure the house didn't get damaged further. I walked into the living room at 11:00, just as Rarity emerged from my parents room, with another outfit from the Goodwill box: a gray Castleton College t-shirt, jeans, and her tennies and jacket from the previous day.

"Breakfast at Phil's?" I asked.

"Sure." She replied.

"We'll see what happens from there."

"Okay."

I grabbed my keys and opened the front door. "Ladies first."

"Why, thank you." Rarity replied.

We got into the Malibu and headed off to Phil's. As we waited at a red light on Cutting Boulevard, we soon noticed someone on a motorcycle was following us.

"Maybe they're going the same way." I said.

"Or maybe it's whoever planted the flytrap in the living room coming to finish us off." Rarity replied.

The more I thought about it the more she was right. According to her, the plant could only come from Equestria. Someone had followed her here.

The light turned green and we drove on. Whenever we made a turn, the biker made a turn. Whenever we stopped, the biker stopped.

"You're right. We are being followed." I said. Unfortunately, right after I said that, that no longer became our most pressing issue.

"SCREEEEEEEEHEHEHEHHHEEEEHH!"

We both turned around. There was a small, birdlike shape on the horizon. That birdlike shape, as it came closer, turned out to be a giant, black pteranodon. It was heading straight for us.

"Hold on." I said to Rarity as I gunned the engine.

The Malibu shot off down the street, the winged beast in hot pursuit.

The beast lunged at the car, and I swerved to the left to avoid it. The bird collided with a newsstand instead, causing it to crash into a clothing store display window. However, that didn't deter it for long. Before we had cleared the next block, the beast had freed itself and was back on the chase. I swerved back into the right lane to avoid colliding with a taxi as the bird caught up with us.

I made a left turn down 13th Street, the bird on our heels, along with the biker. The bird made another dive for the car, and I slammed the brakes. The sudden stop caused it to overshoot its mark and miss, faceplanting in a tree while the bike managed to stop itself before rear-ending the Malibu. We shot off again, but the beast had freed itself in no time. At this time, I noticed the biker finally take a corner and leave the party.

As we sped off, I felt an idea form.

"Watch out!" Rarity shouted, as I swerved the Malibu around a Buick.

"Sorry." I said. "This is new for me."

Behind us, the huge, winged monstrosity let out a piercing roar.

I made a sharp turn onto Norris Road and gunned the engine, heading for the large tunnel up ahead.

"What are you doing?" Rarity asked.

"Trust me." I replied. I slowed down a bit, just enough for the bird to catch up without allowing it to tear the car to bits. When it slowed, I suddenly gunned the engine and shot into the tunnel. The enraged bird sped up, only to crash into the tunnel. It tried to pull itself out, but was stuck in the tunnel entrance.

Rarity and I whooped and hollered at having outwitted the bird. As we exited the tunnel, we noticed the mysterious biker rejoin the party, having taken a side road to beat us out of the tunnel. It was then that a purple glow enveloped the car, and the engine died.

"Oh, crap." I said.

"What's wrong?" Rarity asked. "Why are we stopping?"

"The engine's dead."

"Lovely."

I frantically turned the ignition, but nothing was happening.

"Please, baby, please. Come on... start... please... please.. come on... GOD!"

No matter what I did,the engine simply refused to turn over.

It was at this point that the biker dismounted and started to walk over to the car. We then heard an all too familiar screech.

The bird had managed to free itself from the tunnel, taking out a chunk of it in the process, and was flying straight toward us. With the engine dead, we were truly and utterly boned.

The biker raised their hand. A purple burst of... something... emerged from it and hit the bird. The bird roared and headed for the biker. The biker was undeterred. They held out both arms this time, both hands extended, one pointing up and one pointing down, as if getting ready to shoot a Hadouken. A giant purple ball shot out their hand. When it hit the bird, it disintegrated. Rarity and I were slack-jawed.

"What just happened?" I asked.

"We're going to find out." Rarity responded, motioning toward the biker.

As we looked, the biker removed their helmet. It revealed the face of a woman, possibly in her mid-twenties. She had purple hair with a pink stripe in the middle, in a Beatle-like cut. She was plain, yet attractive. The leather jacket, t-shirt, jeans and boots showed off a rather nice figure.

"No way.." Rarity said. "NO WAY!!!!"

She left the car and ran toward the stranger. As I got out of the car, the stranger and Rarity were in a bear hug. I ran over.

"Rarity, who is this?" I asked.

"Where are my manners?" She replied. "Jimmy Quinn, allow me to introduce to you Miss Twilight Sparkle."

Oh, dear. Another pony. I didn't know when I was well off.

Unfortunately, the police showed up right at that time. Out of the nearby squad car came the strutting, gloating figure of Officer Jason Burdick.

"Well, well, well..." He started. "Speeding, reckless driving, reckless endangerment of human life, willful disregard of private property... congratulations, Quinn. You're now a felon."

He went for his cuffs. He motioned for his partner to cuff Rarity and Twilight. Rarity looked ready to deck him again.

"No, Rarity. It's not worth it." I told her.

"Told you I was gonna bust you one day. When I'm through with you..."

He trailed off. He and his partner were entranced. I followed their gaze and saw that they were fixated on Twilight.

"You will let Mr. Quinn go." She said.

"We will let Mr. Quinn go." They repeated, as Jason put his cuffs away and stepped aside.

"Mr. Quinn is innocent of these charges."

"Mr. Quinn is innocent of these charges." They repeated.

"These are not the droids you are looking for." I added.

To my amusement, they repeated it.

"You will get in your vehicle and go." Twilight said.

"We will get in our vehicle and go." They repeated as they did. After they left, she fell to her knees.

"What's wrong?" Rarity asked.

"There's a reason I've never done that spell at all." She replied. "From what I've read about it, it takes a lot of magic and energy to maintain a hold. They were right. I've never felt so weak in my life."

"You've never done that?" I asked.

"No." Twilight replied. "I only know about it because it was in a book of mine. It was an emergency..."

"Well, Phil's should still be open." I said. "Let's get her something to eat, and get her home to rest."

"No..." Twilight started. "If he sent that bird after you..."

"Save your energy, darling." Rarity said to Twilight. "We'll get you something to eat first, then you can tell us what's happening."

Twilight reluctantly agreed. I attached the bike to the bumper of the Malibu with a tow bar and bumper hitch, and we headed to Phil's Diner for a quick meal and, hopefully, some answers.

Author's Note

Soundtrack:
James Horner - Casper's Lullaby (from "Casper"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Casper+s+Lullaby/3OANHK?src=5 (Jimmy's confession and flashback)
Dusty Springfield - But It's a Nice Dream (from "Kiss Me Goodbye"): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jErQZYcdjH8 (KRNY music)
David Arnold - Taxi Chase (from "Godzilla"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Taxi+Chase/4mKDp4?src=5 (Bird chase)

Chapter Four: Monday, April 28 - Part Two

It was about 1 PM when we made it to Phil's, and entered to the sound of Cab Calloway blaring from the jukebox. Phil was happy to see me again, and especially "the girl with the megaton punch."

"Ahh... Jimmy! And Miss Rarity, too! How lovely to see you again!" Phil bellowed, in his jolly Greek accent. "Ahh, the women are just flocking to you today!"

"Hi, Phil. Uh, Phil, this is Twilight. She's Rarity's sister."

Phil bounded over and kissed Twilight's hand. "How lovely to meet you." He then said to me "Gathering a harem, aren't you?" He then laughed an infectious laugh.

I ordered for the three of us, and we took a seat in a booth. Twilight began to talk.

"Now, Rarity, I know you may not remember much..." Twilight began.

"I was wondering about that. It took me some time to get nearly all of my memories back." Rarity replied.

"It connects to how you're here in the first place."

"That's the only thing I can't remember at all."

"Well, this is what happened."

"I'm all ears." I said.

"Well, it begins with the Alicorn Amulet." Twilight began

'The one that Trixie used that made her into Ponyville's dictator?"

"The same. It originally belonged to a minotaur named Lord Maliss."

"Lord Maliss?" I asked. "Sounds like a fairy tale villain." Twilight glared at me. "Sorry. Do go on."

"Anyway," Twilight continued, "As the legends state, Maliss once ruled Saddle Arabia with an iron fist. He had this ability to manifest one's own fears or make them relieve the most traumatic moments in their lives. If he wanted to, he could kill you with them. Say that you had a fear of water? He'd make a tank appear over you and fill it up. The dark? He'd make you blind as a bat. It was because he found that amulet in a dragon's hoard."

"He stole from a dragon's hoard and lived?" Rarity replied.

"He used the amulet to make the dragon's worst fear come true: the creatures he stole from took their revenge."

"I'm taking a guess that sheer numbers overwhelmed a dragon?" I asked.

"Exactly." Twilight replied. "He made off with the amulet while the dragon was slaughtered. With it, his power was boosted enough that he could conjure and control any nightmare creatures that manifested and build an army to conquer all of Equestria. Thankfully, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were able to stop him with the Elements of Harmony and send him to Tartarus."

"Then what's he doing out?" Rarity asked.

"Remember when Cerberus fled from Tartarus? Maliss used that opportunity to escape." Twilight answered. "He retrieved the amulet from the Ponyville Museum, which we were investigating when we found out about a couple of relics in the Canterlot library. Relics in the Star Swirl the Bearded Wing."

"Star Swirl the Bearded?" I asked.

"The most important conjurer of the pre-classical era, and also one of the most benevolent and kind ponies next to the princesses." She replied.

Our food came at around this time: chicken sandwich and soda for me, Caesar salad and soda for Rarity, and a salad, large bowl of fries, three rolls and soda for Twilight. She continued talking through bites of her meal.

"He had created two talismans: one to travel through time, and one to travel through space. He wanted to use them for beneficial purposes: to get accurate accounts of history and make sure fillies and colts could know the true history of Equestria, and to visit other worlds as a goodwill ambassador, and offer aid to those in need."

"A noble cause." Rarity said.

"Yes, it would have been." Twilight continued. "However, when he found that other creatures and ponies would abuse the power of the talismans, use them to pervert history rather than observe it, or use it to rule other worlds rather than help them, he had them locked away in the Canterlot library. Lord Maliss knew of the legends, and he went after them. He not only wanted Equestria, but all worlds. You, me, Applejack, Pinkie, Rainbow and Fluttershy had caught up to him when he had opened a dimensional gate with the space talisman, and tried to stop us with the amulet. He conjured a demon that tried to kill Applejack. While I dealt with the demon, you saw Maliss was going to summon another one. You bum rushed him, and he flung you into the portal. He followed when he realized you grabbed the time talisman."

Hearing this, I pulled the medallion out of my pocket. "You mean this?"

Twilight got an expression of relief and joy when she saw it. "Yes! That's the one!"

Rarity had it with her when I found her."

Twilight looked at me. "Which reminds me, neither of you have told me about how you came to know each other."

Rarity and I got her up to speed. We related the events of the past two days: of how I found her in the woods, how I had been showing her around the human world, about the flytrap attack, and the strange dreams. Before Twilight could reply, I started on my own line of questioning.

"If Maliss has the space talisman, how did you wind up here?" I asked.

"The talismans had sort-of blueprints in spells that Star Swirl had been working on." Twilight began. "We scoured the library until we found them. The reason for Rarity's memory loss is because she didn't have the space talisman. If she had it and was going alone, she would have been fine. For group trips, before the talisman was crafted, you would use a spell to open the gate, and a second spell would be used to protect against the shock of dimensional travel. Since Rarity didn't know about that spell..."

I finished. "It swiss-cheesed her memory."

"Yes." Twilight said. "Thankfully, it seems the effect was temporary."

"How did you get that motorcycle, and the clothes, and even know how to use it?" I asked.

"We have a resident human expert in Ponyville." Twilight started.

"You went to Lyra?" Rarity asked.

"The one and the same." Twilight said. "To the ponies at large, humans are mythical creatures, said to inhabit another world. Nearly all ponies don't believe in them, but there are a few out there who do. Lyra is one of the most devoted to the subject. She knows a lot about human customs and human behavior."

"We may never know how." Rarity said.

"She had a piece of human currency. A twenty-dollar bill. We don't know how it wound up there, but it did. We used magic to dupicate it."

"Counterfeiting by sorcery?" I asked.

"Before you ask, yes, we knew enough to change serial numbers with every bill duplicated."

"So, you bought the bike, presumably. How did you not show up here naked like Rarity?"

"My guess is since we don't normally wear clothes, and she went in wearing nothing..."

"Ask a stupid question."

"Lyra loaned me the biker clothes, another human relic. I just changed when I landed. As to how I learned to ride the bike, I read the manual."

"If I ever meet her," I started, "I must ask her how she gets this stuff."

"Indeed." Rarity said. "How did you find us, darling?"

"I used a homing spell on the time talisman." Twilight replied.

"A homing spell?" I asked.

"It's like a metal detector. Only unicorns can use it. When the spell is activated, it sends out a series of waves to locate the object, which, in turn, are sent back to the unicorn as beeps. The closer you are, the more constant the beeps are."

"When did you get in?" I asked.

"Yesterday." Twilight answered. Enough time to get the bike, fuel, and a road map to find this place."

"Why can't you guys just rip the amulet off him with telekinesis?"

"The amulet has a magic lock on it. Only the wearer can remove it."

"One last thing," I asked, "Why shouldn't we go home?"

"If Maliss sent that bird after you, he more than likely tried to get you out of the way with that flytrap monster." Twilight started. "He knows where you live and where Rarity and the talisman were located. Why he didn't strike in the night and take the talisman then is anyone's guess. The point is, until he's defeated, it's not safe to go back to your house. We'll have to find another place to stay for the night. Also, in the morning, I would recommend switching cars. If that bird attacked you specifically, then he knows what you drive."

Phil came around with the bill. Twilight took care of it with a twenty, telling Phil to keep the change.

We piled into the Malibu, and headed to the Sunset Inn. It was a small, quaint looking place, one that I had passed many times on my way to work. It would do for the night. We parked in the nearly full lot and headed inside to check in.

"Double room, please. One night." I told the check-in clerk. He gave me a glare.

"Believe me, sir," Rarity started, "There's nothing between the three of us. We've just been traveling for a while and need to rest."

The clerk checked us in, still a bit shady of two girls and a guy checking into a double room. Twilight paid for the room. The clerk handed me the key.

"Room 237." The clerk told us.

The girls and I entered room 237, exhausted. I looked at the clock on my phone: it was 5 PM, and all of us wanted sleep. There were two beds, a couch, a chest of drawers with a small widescreen TV on it, and a bathroom with shower.

"Okay," I started. "You guys take the beds, I'll take the couch."

"Sounds fair." Twilight said, removing her biker jacket and boots. Rarity and I followed suit with our jackets and shoes. Afterward, Twilight laid on her bed and curled up in the blankets. "Good night, guys." She said. "And... Jimmy, is it?"

"Yes." I replied.

"Thank you for taking care of my friend. I don't know what would have happened otherwise."

"It's nothing."

"It's something, indeed. You got dragged into this crisis because of compassion and empathy for somepon- er, someone's plight. The fact that you're riding this out with us speaks volumes."

"It's just the right thing to do."

"Thank you. We're going to need all the help we can get. Good night, Rarity... Jimmy..."

Rarity turned to me. "Well... good night." She kissed me on the cheek.

"Good night, Rarity." I replied, and hugged her. "I forgot to thank you for last night, for helping me deal with two years of repressed emotions. I'll always be grateful to you for it."

"It's no problem." She replied. "I just saw someone in need, and helped them out. That's generosity. That's what I do."

There was an awkward silence. "Jimmy..." Rarity began.

"Yes?" I asked.

Rarity paused.

"What?"

"It's nothing." She replied. "Good night, darling."

"Good night, Rarity. Sleep well."

As Rarity climbed into bed, I settled on the couch and thought about the past two days, about the mess I was in, and about the woman who had entered my life. In two days, we had forged a bond that usually takes years to create. In two days, she had helped me deal with the most tragic loss of my life better than any psychiatrist had done, with pure compassion and love. And in two days, I knew that if push came to shove, I would die to protect her, and she would die to protect me. Unlike a lot of people who say that, I would go through with it, and she would, too. People like that these days are rare, a treasure that one should hold onto and cherish, and I would do that with Rarity for as long as she was here.

"I am truly a lucky man." I thought, as I drifted off to sleep.

Author's Note

Soundtrack:
Cab Calloway - Minnie the Moocher: http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Minnie+The+Moocher/3LBYhv?src=5 (Jukebox at Phil's)
Pino Donaggio - End Title (from "Piranha"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/End+Title/6UxLqx?src=5 (Hotel room conversation)

Chapter Five: Tuesday, April 29

"Another nightmare?" Rarity asked.

I nodded. It was 1:30 in the morning. Rarity had woken me up when she heard me screaming again. Twilight was still sound asleep. I don't know if it was sheer exhaustion or if she was just a heavy sleeper, but I believe that woman could sleep through the noise generated by a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.

"Jen again?"

"No... this time, it was you..."

I really didn't want to tell her the rest, but...

"...and I shot you. And until I heard your voice and saw you, it felt like I truly did."

Rarity was initially shocked, but the expression of horror slowly gave way to giggling.

"What's so funny?" I asked, very confused. "Next to Jen, I haven't felt that horrified in my life."

"You wouldn't do that." Rarity said. "I know I haven't known you long, but I know you enough to know that you don't want to hurt anybody."

"But... it felt so real..."

"Some dreams have a tendency to be like that."

"I don't think it was just a dream. I don't think it really happened but I think it's more than a dream..."

Rarity just gave me a strange look.

"...it's hard to explain."

Rarity patted the spot next to her, motioning for me to come over and sit down. I did so.

"Is there something else that's going on?" She asked.

I didn't know how I could put it, but I figured I haven't got anything to lose if I said it.

"I know I haven't known you that long, but... I think I... lo... lo...l..."

"You what?"

I couldn't control it anymore. "I think I love you, Rarity!" I put a hand to my mouth. I was so ashamed of myself.

"You... love me?" She asked.

I started to tear up. "Yes. But, it feels so wrong."

"Why? It goes without saying that friends should love each other."

"I don't love you in that way..." I started, but then she put a finger to my lips as she realized.

"Shh. Let me guess. You still love Jen, too."

I nodded. "It feels like I've betrayed her."

Rarity put a comforting arm around me.

"I truly love two women. It manages to sound even worse than it feels."

Rarity looked away. "What's wrong?"

She paused a bit. "You know, my mother was right. Sometimes, you find a prince in the unlikliest of places, in the unlikliest of ponies..."

I had a feeling I knew what was going on.

"...or in this case, people." She finished. "I wanted to say this to you last night, before we went to sleep... but... I love you, too."

"You were afraid to say it, too?"

"Actually, it was because of Jen, and how much you still grieve. I didn't want to hurt you further, but then you had the courage to tell me..."

I returned the gesture she made to me earlier: I put a finger on her lips. "Shh..." I said.

Rarity and I leaned in close to each other and kissed. We went a minute before we pulled away.

"How was it for you?" Rarity asked.

"It felt so right, and yet so wrong..."

"With what happened to you, it's only natural." She paused for a moment. "You know..." She said. "You don't have to sleep on the couch..."

I balked. "I don't think I'm ready to go to THAT stage yet..."

"Oh, heavens no!" She said in reply. "I just meant it can't be that comfortable. You can sleep up here with me."

I nodded my approval and climbed in.

"How comfortable are you with what just happened?" Rarity asked.

"I say we stay on the kissing level for now." I said.

"That's fine by me." We kissed again, passionately.

"New Edition with their 1987 hit "Helplessly in Love" here on KRNY, the jukebox of Carney. It's 11 AM, and we'll have commercial-free play for the lunch rush in just a few moments, but not before Movie Mom comes on to review "Transcendence." Arnie Pye should be giving us his traffic report in just a few minutes..."

The radio on the night table blared generic DJ junk, as I woke up to a lovely spring day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and Rarity was asleep next to me. Once again, no nightmares. Weird. Rarity woke up and saw me. "Good morning, darling."

"Good morning, gorgeous." I replied.

"Sleep well?"

"Yeah. No nightmares. Just like last time. I think you might be the reason why."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I don't know how, but you might be. Let's see if we can get Twilight up."

We went over to the next bed and tried to shake Twilight awake.She wasn't stirring. I still heard faint snoring.

"Really heavy sleeper?" I asked.

"No." Rarity said. "This is different."

"Look, keep trying. I'll get us checked out."

I put my shoes and trenchcoat on and went to the front desk. Finding it empty I rang the bell.

"Service!" I shouted. "Oi! Anyone here?"

"AAAH!!! AAAH!!! NO, GET AWAY!!!" Someone shouted from behind the office door. I leaped over the counter and looked inside.

There was a minotaur inside- MINOTAUR? Oh, shit.

I closed my eyes and counted to five. I looked back. Still there. Definitely this Lord Maliss guy.

The minotaur was watching as three men were speaking to the owner.

"We have to close you down." One said.

"Roaches in the rooms, poor upkeep. It's not habitable." Another said.

"You can stop this," Maliss said in a booming, English-accented, gravelly voice, "...if you tell me where they are."

"Who?" The clerk asked.

"The gentleman and two ladies who checked in last night. Where are they?"

I vaulted the counter and ran back to the room. Rarity was still trying to awaken Twilight.

"Get your jacket and shoes. I'll get Twilight's things." I said.

"Why?" Rarity asked.

"Lord Maliss is here interrogating the clerk. He's going to crack."

Rarity immediately got her jacket and shoes. I put Twilight's things in a plastic bag as Rarity scooped her up. We hurried out of the hotel just as we heard booming footsteps come out of the office.

"YOU!" He shouted. "GIVE ME THE TALISMAN!"

Rarity quickly placed Twilight in the back seat and jumped in the passenger seat.

"YOU CAN'T ESCAPE! GIVE ME THE TALISMAN AND I'LL LET YOU LIVE!"

"Trust him as far as you could throw him?" I asked Rarity.

"Oh, yes." She replied. We gunned it out of the parking lot as Lord Maliss came charging out, pursuing the Malibu.

"IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT TO DO IT..." Maliss boomed.

We turned a corner onto a country road, Maliss still charging behind us. Twilight chose that moment to wake up.

"Hi guys. What's going o- OH, CELESTIA!"

"Oh, we're just out for a nice, leisurely drive." I said "Just ignore the charging minotaur."

Maliss suddenly appeared to grow larger, and larger.

"He's feeding on our fear." Twilight said. "He's getting more powerful."

It finally hit me. "I had a nightmare the day the flytrap attacked. I had another yesterday, when that bird tried to get us. And I had one this morning."

"So?" Rarity asked.

"This time, Lord Maliss was here. I think that every time I had that doozy of a nightmare, he was near. That's why all of that happened."

"Then why didn't he just take us down right away?" Rarity asked.

"I can guess why. The last two times when I had those really bad dreams, you comforted me. You showed an incredible amount of love."

"So?"

Twilight finished. "Love weakens fear. He was trying to feed off of Jimmy's dreams. Someone who had that tragic and traumatic of a loss must have incredible nightmares."

"So, why didn't he just come after us right away?" Rarity asked. "You never really answered that."

"Your love weakened him enough." I started, finishing putting the pieces together. "In the beginning, he tried to just feed on me until you comforted me that night. When he realized just how loving you are, we wouldn't be so easy to take down. He had to find other sources to feed on and become stronger. He must have found other people, must have freaked a lot of people out with that bird yesterday... just enough to try interrogating the motel clerk."

"Then why the nightmare last night?" Rarity asked.

"He's just toying with me, now." I theorized.

"LOOK OUT!" Twilight said, as Lord Maliss vaulted the car and landed right in front of us. I threw the car into reverse and gunned it. Maliss started to charge again.

"If you showed up here," I asked, "Where's the rest of you?"

"I don't know." Twilight said. "We all went into the portal together. I wound up in some place called 'Kenosha.'"

"Well, it's in the same state." I said. "Maybe they're not that far away."

"That's why I was out for so long." She said. "Not only did I have to recharge from the mind control spell, I was sending out a message to our friends, to tell them where we are."

"Like Mother Abagail." I muttered.

"Who's Mother Abagail?" Rarity asked.

I knew explaining Stephen King's masterpiece would require a lot of time and a calmer atmosphere. "I'll explain later."

I swung the Malibu into a 180-degree turn, almost losing Twilight's motorcycle in the process, and floored it. The poor car was being treated rather roughly, but hopefully it would hold up. I saw Lord Maliss starting to make a motion.

"Twilight..." I started. "...what's he doing?"

"Can you drive faster?" She asked.

"Why?"

I saw a big bolt of lightning emerge from Maliss's hand. "Oh, that's why."

The bolt struck a tree and I swerved to avoid it. Lord Maliss charged up another one, and I wasn't so lucky. The bolt hit the front of the car, and the car died. The engine was damaged.

"Right, everyone out." I said. "Twilight, take Rarity, get on your bike and get out of here."

"I'm not leaving you." Rarity said.

"Neither am I." Twilight said.

"Look, I don't want all three of us to die. If you two can survive and somehow bring an end to this guy, then it will be worth it."

"But what about you?" Twilight asked.

"I'll try and lead him away. That'll buy you guys some time."

Twilight and Rarity looked pained: they didn't want to leave me behind, but they saw the logic in what I was saying. Twilight hugged me from the back seat. "Thank you." She said.

"It's nothing." I replied. I turned to Rarity, tears streaming down her face. "I'm sorry, but I've gotta do it."

"I know." She said. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I said. She kissed me hard. I caught a look of confusion from Twilight afterward.

I took a few deep breaths. "Okay. As soon as I step out, I'll attract his attention. That'll give you time to unhitch the bike and ride away."

We started to count. "One... two... three!"

We got out of the car to find that Maliss had vanished.

"What just happened?" I asked. "Where'd he go?"

Twilight thought for a moment, then beamed. "It was you two! It was a display of true love!"

"The kiss?" Rarity asked.

"Not just that, it was what preceded it, too! Jimmy was going to sacrifice himself for us. Unconditional love. That, the kiss, everything combined to drive him away."

"For now." Rarity said.

"She's right." I said. "He'll be back."

"But by then," Twilight started. "The rest of us will hopefully be here with the Elements of Harmony. Then, we'll be able to stop him."

"Well..." I started. "I'd suggest trying to get as far away from him as possible, but we have a small problem: no working engine, no wheels."

I looked at my watch. "It's nearly three. You guys take the bike and go up ahead back to town. I'll walk."

"No." Rarity said. "If you're walking, I'm walking."

"I appreciate your loyalty, Rarity, but I want you safe. Go with Twilight."

"I'm not leaving either of you." Twilight said. "If all three of us can't fit on the bike, then we all walk back to town."

We saw a car coming up, a black Dodge Charger. "Rarity," I started, "Flash this guy your best puppy dog eyes."

"Why?" She asked, a bit indignant.

"We can probably get a ride back to town." I said. "Twilight can follow on her bike."

Rarity gave me a glare and turned on the charm. The car stopped.

"Hello, gorgeous." I recognized the voice.

"Matt?" I asked.

"Jimmy!" Matt opened his door, exited the car and gave me a bro hug. "Rarity, Twilight, I want you both to meet Matt Borchers, my best friend."

Matt shook their hands. Matt was a scrawny guy with brown hair and glasses, about as thin as the Tenth Doctor, clad in a brown jacket, red shirt, blue jeans, and Doc Martens boots.. We met in line at a Blockbuster over ten years ago and had been best friends ever since.

"Rarity and Twilight, lovely names." Matt said.

"Never mind the flattery, Matt. We need to get back to town. If it's okay with you, can Rarity and I ride with you, and Twilight follow on her bike?"

"Sure, anything for you, bud." I got in the passenger's seat and Matt opened the door for Rarity.

"So, what are you doing up here?" I asked, as soon as we were on the road.

"Took the new wheels for a drive." He said. "Finally saved enough."

"They're nice." I said.

"So, tell me about how you two met."

Rarity and I looked at each other. He wasn't going to believe this.

"Well, Matt." I started, "It all began in the woods three days ago..."

As we entered my home for the first time since yesterday morning, Matt was expressing some disbelief with our story.

"You see that hole next to the recliner?" I told him. "That was where the flytrap was."

"Shit." Matt said.

"Well," Rarity started, "After the night in that hotel I'm glad to be back."

"Me, too." I said.

Twilight was concentrating hard. "Twilight, what are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm putting a love spell on the house." She replied.

"What?" Matt asked in disbelief.

"Two words, Matt: flying Malibu." I replied.

Matt remembered. "Yeah, so you say..."

"A love spell, darling?" Rarity asked. "Don't you remember the fiasco with Miss Smarty Pants?"

Twilight got a sheepish look. "That was a 'want it, need it' spell. Besides, it's a watered down version. Not enough to get people in here in love with each other, but enough to keep Lord Maliss away until we can figure out what to do."

"I can see why you're Celestia's best student." I said in compliment. Twilight grinned.

"You're feeding her delusion?" Matt asked.

"Matt, in the past three days I've been in a flying Malibu, battled a killer flytrap, outrun a giant pteranodon in a Malibu, and had my engine destroyed by a giant minotaur. If it's a delusion, all three of us are sharing it. Besides, have I ever lied to you?"

Matt thought. "Alright. But I'm staying with you guys tonight just to make sure everything's on the level. I'll take the couch."

"Okay." I said. "Rarity, Twilight. You guys don't mind bunking in my parents' room tonight?"

"How big is the bed?" Twilight asked.

"Big enough for both of us, darling." Rarity replied.

"Then it's settled." I said. "I'm hungry, anyone want pizza while we wait for the tow truck to get back with my car?"

Twilight paid for the tow, saying it was her way of thanking me for being willing to sacrifice myself to save them. I told her it was no big deal. We were in my room, and it was close to 11. The door was open, and we could hear Matt snoring on the couch.

"I can't wait to really explore this place." Twilight said. "There's so much to learn... so much to know about humanity, aside from what Lyra's told us."

"We humans are a fascinating breed." I replied. There was a bit of an awkward silence as we tried to think of something to talk about.

"So..." She said. "You and Rarity have... a relationship?"

"Yeah." I said. "We didn't really tell each other our feelings until this morning. You were out cold."

"I know. I can tell you feel guilty about something. Care to tell me?"

I told her the whole sad story, about Jen, what had happened, about my guilt, and how I felt.

"You have survivor's guilt." Twilight said. "Textbook case. I read a lot of books about it back home."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked. "It's one thing to read about it and wonder why people would blame themselves, until it happens to you and you experience it firsthand. I know I should move on, Twilight, but as Rarity said, she was my first love, and you never forget your first love."

Twilight put a friendly arm around me. "I think it's the tragic nature of what happened. That's why you can't let go and move on. You feel you need to atone for your perceived inaction to save her."

"How am I going to atone for that, Twilight?"

"I don't know. But when it happens, when you do that act that, in your mind, atones for it, you'll finally be able to let go." She gave me a friendly hug. I then noticed Rarity in the doorway, and I panicked.

"Uh... Rarity!" I said, my heart going a mile a minute. "It's not what you think!"

"So it's not a friend comforting another friend?" She replied, with a knowing grin.

"Oh. Then it is what you think."

"I heard you from the hall. He told me all of this last night. Jimmy, I know you understand what we're telling you. It'll just take time, and for as long as we're here, we'll be here for you."

I was tearing up. Tears of happiness. "Thank you, ladies."

"It's no big deal." Twilight replied, hugging me. "That's what friends do."

"Good night, Twilight. Good night, Rarity." I said.

"Good night." Twilight said.

Rarity kissed me on the forehead. "Good night, Jimmy."

I was alone in my room, and I fell asleep wondering what act would atone for my inaction.

Author's Note

Soundtrack:
John Williams - The Love Scene (from "Heartbeeps"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/The+Love+Scene/2FfgLH?src=5 (Rarity and Jimmy's conversation)
New Edition - Helplessly in Love: http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Helplessly+In+Love/3FjYj4?src=5 (KRNY music)
Jerry Goldsmith - Bicycle Chase (from "Innerspace"): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-hoxfOt-Rc (Lord Maliss chase)
Obsession - Desperate to Survive (from "Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Desperate+To+Survive/2RIinu?src=5 (Matt's car radio)
Elmer Bernstein - The Good Son (from "The Good Son"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/The+Good+Son/51ggsd?src=5 (Twilight and Jimmy talk)

Chapter Six: Wednesday, April 30

Ding-dong!

The sound of the doorbell woke me from, for once, a pleasant night's sleep. Twilight knew what she was doing with that love spell. I looked at the time on my phone: 10 AM. I got up, still clad in my clothes from the night before, as I had been too tired to change for bed. I walked to the front door and opened it.

I saw a girl with long, rainbow-colored hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was clad in a Starter jacket, Chicago Bulls jersey, blue jean shorts, and sneakers. She was standing on my front step along with an energetic, pink haired girl in a brightly colored sweater, yoga pants, leg-warmer and tennis shoe ensemble. She didn't walk so much as she bounced.

"Hi." The rainbow-haired one said, in a gruff yet feminine voice so appropriate for a tomboy. "You know a woman named Twilight Sparkle?"

"Yes." I replied. "She's insi-"

The rainbow-haired one had me pinned against the hall closet door in seconds, her hand around my neck. "All right, what did you do to her?

"Pardon?" I managed to wheeze out. Matt was off the couch and on his feet when that happened.

"Don't play dumb with me." She snapped back. "I got a message from her yesterday."

Yesterday? I remembered now. She said she had sent out a message...

"Let my pal go, lady." Matt said.

"Who are you calling 'lady'?" The rainbow-haired one replied.

"Whatever is going on out here?" I heard Rarity shout as she entered the living room, followed by Twilight. They both had the same idea as me: don't change for bed, just sleep where you fall.

"Rarity?" The woman said. "Twilight?"

"Rainbow Dash?" Twilight replied.

She immediately let me go and ran to the two women, embracing them both in a bear hug. The pink-haired girl followed her inside and let out a loud gasp.

"Rarity?! Twilight?! Ohh, I'm so glad to see you're safe!"

"Pinkie Pie?" Rarity asked. Pinkie ran over to her friends and joined in on the hug fest.

"I mean, if we came back to Ponyville without you two, what would we do? Who would I go to for advice? You know what? We should throw a 'Just-Found-Our-Friends' party!" Pinkie said, somehow producing noisemakers and confetti from nowhere.

"Maybe later, Pinkie." Twilight replied. "We still have to find Applejack and Fluttershy, and if my message brought you here, then they should be joining us soon."

"Rarity, Twilight..." Dash started, "Who're the strange guys?"

Rarity helped me up. "This is Jimmy Quinn, and that charmer over there is his best friend... uhh...."

"Matt Borchers." Matt introduced himself and shook Dash's hand. "Delighted to meet you."

"Same here." Dash replied.

"Jimmy here took me in, and he's been looking out for me ever since I got here." Rarity explained.

Pinkie zoomed over and hugged me, her embrace like a vice. "Thank you so, so, so much for taking care of my friend! If anything happened to her, I don't know what I'd do." She let go and took another look at me. "I've never met anyone from another universe before. I have so many questions... What do you eat? Do you watch movies? WHat do you like to drink? What's your favorite color? Do you have books here? Why don't you have a tail? Do you have parties? Oh, I hope you have parties here... please say you have parties here..."

"Pinkie!" Dash shouted, "Cool it!" Dash removed her jacket, showing a pair of blue wings on her back. "Much better."

Matt was in awe. "Since all of you are ponies... let me guess. A pegasus?"

"Yep." Dash replied, beaming. "The best flyer in Equestria."

Before she settled into a conversation with Matt, she turned to me with a sheepish grin. "Sorry about the neck."

"It's no problem." I replied. "You were worried about your friend. I don't think you or the pink one have been properly introduced."

"Someone call me?" Pinkie said, somehow emerging from the hall closet.

"I'm Rainbow Dash, and this is Pinkie Pie." I shook their hands.

"Do you have any children?" Pinkie asked.

"I have a nephew..." I started.

Pinkie let out a loud gasp. "Can I babysit? Can I plan his birthday party?"

"Pinkie!" Dash shouted. "Focus!"

Pinkie stopped for a moment. "Sorry."

"So, enough chatter." Dash said. "What's going on?"

"...and that's the gist of it." Twilight finished.

All of us sat in silence. Pinkie was about to speak when there was a soft knock at the door.

"Hello?" I said as I opened the door. There was a very shy and nervous pink haired woman on the doorstep. She wore a light-pink jacket, yellow blouse, pink skirt, and pink tennis shoes.

"Hello." She replied, in a barely audible voice.

"Can you speak up?" I asked.

"Hello." This time it was a bit louder. "Is Twilight Sparkle here?"

"Yes she is, are you a friend of hers?"

"Yes, we are."

"We?"

"Yes." She motioned for someone to come over. A woman in a brown Stetson, plaid shirt tied up at the midriff, Daisy Dukes and cowboy boots walked up. She had a backpack in her hand.

"Hello!" She said, shaking my hand. "I'm Applejack, and this is Fluttershy. Pleased to meet you..."

"Jimmy." I said. "Jimmy Quinn." I showed them inside. Needless to say, there was another round of hugs, introductions and playing catch-up. Afterwards, Applejack spoke.

"Well, we've got the time talisman, all we've gotta do is find Lord Maliss."

"Yeah." I said. "Let's go find an eight foot-tall minotaur with conquest on his mind. That should end well."

"Well, we have the Elements of Harmony." Applejack opened the bag and dumped it out. Five gold necklaces and an ornate tiara fell out, each with a shaped jewel inthe center.

"You keep mentioning them, but you've never told me..." I started. "What are the Elements of Harmony?"

Twilight spoke. "The Elements of Harmony were found and taken from the Tree of Harmony by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna thousands of years ago. They are six supernatural artifacts representing six subjective aspects of harmony: honesty, kindness, laughter, generosity, loyalty and magic. They can only be used by somepony who embodies a said aspect, and are arguably the most powerful force in Equestria. They are not used for any lethal purpose. The most they do is imprison or banish. It freed Luna from being Nightmare Moon, and turned a god of chaos into stone. Much like friends, they are no good on their own, and their true potential can only be unlocked when they are used together."

"Much like Voltron." Matt said. This was met with puzzled stares from the six Equestrians. "I'll explain later."

Twilight continued. "With these, we can return Lord Maliss to Tartarus, retrieve the Alicorn Amulet and space talisman, and end this."

She looked around. "None of us can do it alone. However, if any of you want to back out now, I'll understand."

"I'm in." Rarity said, and put her hand out.

"I'm in." Dash said, putting her hand on top of Rarity's.

"I'm in." Pinkie said, putting her hand on the pile.

"I guess I'm in." Fluttershy said tentatively, putting her hand on the pile.

"Back out and leave my friends high and dry? Why in tarnation would I do that?" Applejack said. She put her hand on the pile and said "I'm in."

"I'm in." Twilight said. She then looked over at Matt and I. "You two have done a lot already. You don't need to do this."

"I'm in." I said, putting my hand on the pile.

"If he's in, so am I." Matt said, as he put his hand in the pile.

"We don't stop until Maliss is defeated." Twilight declared. "Agreed."

"Agreed." We said in unison, raising our hands at the same time.

I looked at the clock. It was 11:35 PM. Wow, the day went by fast. Then again, much of it spent playing catch up. I was about to call it a night when I heard something thump against the door. I opened it and looked outside. There was a scroll with a rock tied to it on the mat.

"What's this?" I said to myself as I read the scroll. My heart stopped and I walked back to the group.

"What is it, darling?" Rarity asked. I didn't answer. I felt sick.

"Sugarcube, what's going on?" Applejack asked. I finally handed her the scroll. She began to read.

"Dear Jimmy.

Since you will not hand over the time talisman of your own free will, I am sure your family will be able to convince you. If you want to see them alive again, bring the talisman to the building known as the Park Plaza Mall in one hour. If you don't, well, the family's that's slain together, stays together.

XOXO

Lord Maliss.

P.S. Bring your friends. The more, the merrier."

"The bastard is going down." I said. "It's one thing to threaten me, but bringing my family into this? That's a new low."

"Calm down, darling." Rarity said. "We'll make sure your family gets out safe and sound."

I looked around. All of my friends were in agreement. The bastard was going down.

I went into my room and grabbed Zar 'Roc. I decided not to take the rifle. If it couldn't take down a flytrap, what use was it against the lord of fear? I made one last look around the house for weapons to use. I came out with an aluminum bat, an axe, and at Applejack's request, I found a coil of rope that she made into a lasso. We managed to squeeze four of us into the back of Matt's Charger: Matt drove, Fluttershy up front, with myself, Applejack, Pinkie, and Dash in the back. Twilight and Rarity took Twilight's bike. Matt led the way to downtown Carney, where the Park Plaza Mall was located.

"Hang on, guys." I thought. "We're on our way."

Author's Note

Soundtrack:
Jerry Goldsmith - Short Hair (from "Mulan"): http://grooveshark.com/s/05+Short+Hair+Mulan+OST/4l0xny?src=5 (Maliss' letter and prepping for battle)

Chapter Seven - Thursday, May 1

The Charger roared down Howe Road toward the Park Plaza Mall, followed closely by Twilight's motorcycle. I held Zar 'Roc tightly. I wanted to bury the blade in Lord Maliss' back, but I would have to wait... and judging from the expressions on my comrades' faces, I would have to get in line. Even Fluttershy, normally timid and non-confrontational, from what I had observed, was thirsting for his blood.

"He threatened your family?" She said in shock. "THAT BIG... DUMB... MEANIE!!!!!"

We were halfway there when we saw the flashing lights of a police car. "Aw, come on!" I shouted.

Matt pulled over as the officer exited the car and walked up to the window.

"Borchers! What are you doing out so late, with these foxy bikers?" Crap. It was Jason Burdick.

"Oh, just doing a little midnight drive." Matt replied.

"Uh huh. Got yourself a harem going here, huh?"

The ladies glared at him. From what I could tell, they were hoping his head would explode if they thought about it hard enough.

"You know your taillight is out, right?" Jason asked.

"No, it's not." Matt replied. I knew he was tempting fate. I was proven right when I heard a crack and a tinkle of glass. "Yes, it is."

"Did you pull me over to harass me or did you actually have a good reason?"

"Yeah, you were going 65 in a 50 zone. I need you to step out of the car, please."

"Look, I really don't have time for-"

"Step out of the car, now."

Matt did as he was told. He was rewarded by Jason smacking him with his nightstick. "You'll listen to me next time, won't you?"

I stepped out of the car, Zar 'Roc in hand. "Leave him alone, Jason."

"Quinn! I should have known that with Borchers around, you would be involved. Drop the weapon and put your hands in the air."

"Jason-"

Jason raised his nightstick. "Don't make me ask twice."

As I was about to drop it, the ladies stepped out of the car, and Twilight and Rarity got off the bike.

"You all better get back in your vehicles, right now." Jason ordered, more than a little uneasy. "This is between me, Borchers and Quinn."

"When you threatened our friends, it became our business." Twilight said.

"Shut up, bitch." Jason said feebly as we advanced on him.

"Always with the names, this ruffian." Rarity said in mock disappointment.

"You're a disgrace to the uniform, Jason." I added.

Jason started swinging his nightstick wildly, only to suddenly halt mid-swing. A purple aura had surrounded his nightstick, rendering it immobile. A blue aura surrounded him and lifted him off the ground, twirling him like a chef would twirl a ball of dough into pizza crust.

"Put... me... down..." Jason shouted.

"Sure." Rarity said. "What do we do with him?"

"Oh, I have an idea." Matt said. "Hold him, guys..."

"You will swing for this, Borchers! I SHIT YOU NOOOOTTTTTTT!!!!!!!"

We had handcuffed Jason, clad only in his underwear, around a utility pole. I retrieved his keys from his pants pocket and took his equipment belt just in case. Fluttershy, Pinkie and Dash stayed with Matt, Rarity and Applejack joined me in our newly acquired squad car, and Twilight followed alone.

The ordeal left us with only fifteen minutes to reach the mall.

"Please let us make it in time." I pleaded.

We arrived at the Park Plaza Mall with five minutes to spare. We all exited our vehicles and distributed weapons: Dash got the bat, Twilight the axe, Rarity Zar 'Roc, Applejack her lasso, and I grabbed the shotgun from the squad car. I then handed Matt Jason's pistol and the clips from the belt, then grabbed shells from the squad car's glove box. I then snapped the belt on.

"Everyone ready?" I asked.

Twilight took a couple practice swings with the axe. "Ready."

Rarity swung around Zar 'Roc, getting a feel for the sword. "Ready."

Dash took a few practice swings with the bat. She was a natural. "Ready."

Applejack tried out her lasso, reeling in a trash barrel. "Ready."

Matt checked the clip in his pistol, then slapped the magazine back in. "Ready."

I turned to Pinkie and Fluttershy. "Do you guys need a weapon, too?"

"I don't like fighting, usually." Fluttershy said. "However, I am a black belt in hoof-kwan-do." Everyone looked at her in shock. "I may not like violence, but a girl has to learn to defend herself. I also brought these." She held up the bag containing the Elements of Harmony, slipped it on, then smiled. She could turn the world on with it.

"OK..." I said. "Pinkie, are you good?"

Pinkie pulled a brightly colored bazooka from, seemingly, out of nowhere. "Oh, I never leave home without my party cannon! Party Cannon Mark II in this case. WOO-HOO!"

"In case we don't make it... thank you all for this." I said.

"Well, team." Twilight said. "Let's go!" A purple aura appeared around the lock on the automatic doors. The tumbler turned and the doors slid open, allowing us access to the food court.

The Park Plaza Mall had been around ever since I was born. The mayor of Carney had approved the project as a way of increasing revenue, especially from tourists who came to our "big little town." I knew the layout by heart: Matt and I both had our first jobs here: I worked as a cashier at the GameStop when I graduated from high school, and he cashiered at the Radio Shack next door, and often had lunch together. Good times were had.

The place was pitch black, so the two unicorns took the lead, creating a small circle of light with their magic. Twilight took up the lead, axe at the ready, followed by Rarity, myself, Applejack, Fluttershy, Matt, Dash, and Pinkie, covering the rear with her party cannon.

"It's quiet..." Pinkie started. The rest of us shushed her. In movies, after someone says that, that's usually when shit gets real, and it did right after we cleared the Mrs. Field Cookies place, marking where the food court ends and the North Court of the mall begins.

"Welcome to the Park Plaza Mall!" A familiar, booming, gravelly, British-accented voice stated over the PA system. "Tonight, we're not only slashing prices, but the customers as well!"

"Where are you, Maliss?!" I shouted. "Where's my family?"

"Oh... they're here. Since you arrived before the hour's up, they're still alive. I am a minotaur of my word, and going back on it won't do my reputation any favors."

"Where are they, Maliss?" Twilight asked.

"Why, they're all around you!" Maliss boomed as the lights snapped on. The automated systems that helped run the mall snapped on as well: the escalators, the fountains, everything. "I've split them up and put them in five of the stores. You can either search for them without my help, or you can save yourselves the trouble and hand over the talisman, that way they're released unharmed and you won't have to go to all that bother..."

"Eat horse apples, Maliss!" Applejack shouted.

"If that's the way you want it..." The PA stopped and the mall music selection started, kicking off with "The Gonk."

Twilight found one of the map displays showing where the customer was and started to lay out our strategy. "Ok, guys. There's eight of us, so we split in four teams of two and cover the mall that way. On the bottom level; Jimmy and Rarity will cover the North Court. Matt and Rainbow, cover the Center and South Courts. On the second level; Applejack and Fluttershy will cover the North Court. Pinkie and I will cover the Center and South Courts. We don't regroup until we find everyone. Got it?"

"Got it." We replied in unison.

"Okay, guys. Spread out." Matt and Dash headed down to the Center Court to begin their search, while Twilight, Pinkie, Applejack and Fluttershy headed up the escalator to the second level, and then split from there.

"Don't worry, darling." Rarity said. "We'll find them. What struck me was... didn't you say they were on vacation?"

"Maliss wields magic. He probably teleported them here or something after our last scuffle."

Rarity put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure they're OK."

"I hope so." I said. I got an idea.

"Are you afraid?" I asked.

"Yes" Rarity replied.

"Lord Maliss is the lord of fear, right?"

"Yes."

"And he feeds off of our fear and grows stronger, right?"

"Jimmy, what is the point of this?"

"I saw this movie when I was younger, 'Dune,' and it had this... chant... that a race called the Bene Gesserit did to fight fear and keep their cool. I'll teach it to you if you want me to."

"How will something from a sci-fi movie hep me?"

"You'd be surprised."

She thought about it. "OK. Let it roll."

"Alright. Repeat after me. I must not fear."

"I must not fear."

"Fear is the mind-killer."

"Fear is the mind-killer."

"Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration."

"Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration."

"I will face my fear."

"I will face my fear."

"I will permit it to pass over me and through me."

"I will permit it to pass over me and through me."

"And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path."

"And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path."

"Where the fear has gone there will be nothing."

"Where the fear has gone there will be nothing."

"Only I will remain."

"Only I will remain."

"Put it all together."

Rarity managed it successfully, twice.

"Good. Very good." I said.

"I actually feel less afraid saying that." She replied.

"That's the point."

"So, where do we go first?"

"Let's start with The Finish Line."

Rarity held Zar 'Roc at the ready. "Ready when you are."

The Finish Line was a clothing store geared toward sports apparel. There were shelves of shoes on display, racks of sport clothes, and a few mannequins modelling the latest in sport fashion. I spied a display of shoelaces, took a pair of brown ones, and stuffed them in my pocket.

"What are you doing?" Rarity asked. "This is a horrible time to shop!"

"I have an idea, in case push comes to shove." I replied.

We heard something move. I turned around, leveling the shotgun as I did. Rarity had Zar 'Roc raised and ready to strike. It was just a mannequin modelling Nike clothes. However...

"Am I getting paranoid?" I asked. "I swear that mannequin was posed differently."

"I think you're getting paranoid." Rarity answered. We then heard more movement. We turned to see another mannequin posed differently.

"Paranoid, huh?" I asked. There was another sound of movement, and my fears were confirmed.

The mannequins in the shop had come to life. It didn't matter if they were full bodied or just torsos to model shirts, they were walking towards us, zombie-like, arms outstretched.

"Living mannequins?" I asked.

"Not hallucinating." Rarity replied.

"Creepy as hell?"

"Oh, yes."

"Retreat?"

"Go!"

Rarity and I ran for the exit, but the security gate dropped down in front of us. There was sadistic laughter coming over the PA.

"Did you think I'd make it easy? I'm the lord of fear, after all."

Rarity and I turned. The mannequins were slowly closing in. I racked a round into the shotgun while Rarity got Zar 'Roc ready.

"One... two... three!" We said in unison. I fired off a round at the nearest full-body, blowing it's head off. It continued to advance. Rarity had sliced a full-body in half with Zar 'Roc, but the halves came after us as separate entities. Thankfully, the torsos were easier to manage: kicking them away did the trick.

"'Employees Only.' Stock room?" Rarity asked.

"Most likely," I replied, blasting a full-body in half.

Rarity took my hand. "Save your bullets and come on!" We ran for our lives past deadly mannequins towards the stockroom. Rarity tried to open the door. "It's locked!"

"Let me try." I said. I quickly examined the door. "It's stuck, not locked." I looked through my wallet and pulled out an old, depleted Blockbuster gift card. I then set to work on jimmying the door latch. It was really stuck, and would require time to open. Time we didn't have. Then, I heard...

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer..."

Rarity was reciting the Bene Gesserit chant! Even better, it was working! The mannequins were just upon us when they started to fall over, immobile. Rarity and I quickly ran in and shut the door behind us, and, just in case, I held the door closed until Rarity could turn the lock shut. Our surroundings were blessedly silent.

As it turned out, the Finish Line and the neighboring Uniform Advantage shared a stockroom, presumably to save money. We managed to get out through the employee door into the Uniform Advantage, and left through there. Up yours, Maliss.

Rarity and I left Uniform Advantage and reentered the North Court. At least, I thought it was the North Court. It just changed into-

Oh God. Please. Not that.

I saw that ATM. The bad neighborhood. Jen.. Christ, no...

I was standing there as I saw myself walking up to the ATM with Jen.

"Get away!" I shouted. "Get her away!" Like Scrooge on his Christmas journey, they couldn't see me or hear me.

"Excuse me..."

Oh, Christ, no. It was him. The thief.

"Don't tell him the time!" I shouted "Run! Get out of there!"

"You have till the count of five..."

"No..."

"Darling!" I heard a heavenly voice say. "What's wrong?"

The gun fired.

"NOOOO!!!!!"

Christ, no. I saw her die again.

The environment faded away, back to the Park Plaza Mall.

"Darling!" Rarity was shouting. "Are you okay?"

I sobbed into her shoulder. "The bastard. He did it."

"What?"

"He did it. He showed me it. The whole thing. And I couldn't do anything."

"Oh, Celestia." She said, as she set Zar 'Roc down. I set down my gun, and I hugged her tightly.

"He's going to pay." I vowed. "He takes my family, then he forces me to see it again..."

I was broken out of my rage when I heard a child crying.

"Cristian?" I shouted.

"Help me!" I heard in reply. Worry replaced rage.

"Don't worry, little guy! Uncle Jimmy's on the way!"

"Sounds like he's over there."

"Kohl's? Let's go!"

Rarity and I ran for the department store. Much like Finish Line, the store had mannequins all around, but thankfully they remained still, at least for the time being.

"Cristian!" I shouted. "CJ! Say something."

"I'm over here!" Cristian shouted, from what appeared to be the ladies' fitting rooms.

"Uncle Jimmy's coming!" I ran over and saw Cristian standing in front of an open fitting room.

"I'm here, little guy!" I said.

A decayed arm grabbed Cristian and dragged him into the room.

"CJ!" I shouted. "LET GO OF MY NEPHEW, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

I ran over to the door. I found it locked, but my shoulder took care of it. It's very easy to break down the cheap doors made for fitting rooms.

Cristian was struggling to get free from what looked like a zombie in a woman's business suit.

I finally got to unleash my inner Bruce Campbell. "Yo, she-bitch!"

The zombie looked up. With her relaxed attention, Cristian was able to break free and ran into Rarity's waiting arms.

"I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!!!!" The zombie shouted. "I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!!! I'LL SWALLOW-"

I jammed the shotgun barrel in her face. "Swallow this."

BOOM. Now she's just a zombie without a head.

I ran over to Rarity and Cristian, who was shaking like a leaf.

"Are you OK?" I asked. Cristian glomped onto me.

"Who's the nice lady?" He asked me.

"That's Rarity." I answered.

"Is she your friend?"

"Yes. Yes she is."

"Is she your GIRLfriend?"

Rarity started giggling. "Out of the mouths of babes." I said. I set Cristian down.

"Okay, you take Miss Rarity's hand in one hand, and mine in your other, okay?"

"Okay." Cristian did so, and we led him out of the store. I took one last look at the mannequins. They hadn't moved an inch. While Rarity wasn't looking, I swiped a large earring of a swirl housed in a circle.

As we led Cristian out of Kohl's, we saw the other groups returning, and to my joy, each of them a member of my family.

"Mom! Dad! Audrey!" I ran over, and the group hug that ensued melted my heart. I realized something.

"Where's Gus? My brother-in-law?"

"We're going back up to look for him now." Twilight replied.

"Who are these people?" Dad asked.

"Mom, Dad, Audrey... I want you to meet a few of my friends."

As the introductions ensued, I felt something in my pocket. "Oh, little guy, I meant to give this back to you."

It was a little figure of Astro Boy from the 2009 movie. Cristian gave it to me for good luck a while ago, and I just kept forgetting to give it back. It was one of his favorite movies, and I wanted to make sure he kept it.

"What's this?" He asked.

I looked a little worried. "That's your Astro Boy figure. I've been meaning to give him back to you."

"What's Astro Boy, Uncle Jimmy?"

This little sentence raised a couple of red flags: number one, Astro Boy was one of his favorite movies, so asking what it was was decidedly odd. Number two...

"Don't you mean, guh-guh?"

"No, I mean Uncle Jimmy."

He had always called me "guh-guh" since he started to talk. Even as his vocabulary grew, and he got much better with the pronouncing of his words, he still referred to me as his "guh-guh." It was his pet name for me.

I took a step back. "You're not my nephew." The full realization hit me. "You're not my family, are you?"

Mom... Dad... Audrey... even Cristian... they started to laugh. Not just any laugh, but Lord Maliss' laugh. They swirled together into a cloud. The cloud soon shaped itself into Lord Maliss.

"That's right!" Maliss shouted, a look of triumph on his horned face.

"Where are they?" I asked, angry beyond belief.

"Oh, they're still where they were on their vacations. I just needed some prime fear, so if it looked like I put your family in danger, the fear from that would give me so much power... power enough to do this..."

Maliss started to grow, and grow, and grow. He was near the ceiling when he shouted "LET THE INVASION BEGIN!"

Immediately, all hell started to break loose outside: nightmare birds swooped down and started to swipe at buildings, damaging them. Giant flytraps shot up all around the street, ready to eat anything in their path. Men... no, not men... black clouds that had taken the shape of men started to walk down the street, gleaming black swords in hand.

"Today, Carney! Tomorrow, the world! Once I get my hands on the time talisman, I'm going to pay Equestria a little visit, as well. It may be easier to conquer if I take a trip back to Hearth's Warming Eve... maybe make sure the windigos win..."

All of the Equestrians looked utterly horrified.

"And I have YOU to thank, Jimmy Quinn! Your fear and concern for your family made it possible... along with a... certain incident."

Maliss launched into another long laugh. I was angry and devastated.

"Sugarcube," Applejack started, "Don't listen to him. We all may have contributed to it."

"How?" I asked.

Twilight started. "I ran into an apparition of Princess Celestia in the Old Navy up there. She said she was disappointed in me. She was angry with me for coming here. She wanted to send me back to magic kindergarten. I knew it wasn't true, because as much as I fear disappointing her, I know she's just as kind and reasonable as ever."

Pinkie continued. "I thought I saw you guys up in the Toys R' Us. You said you didn't want anything to do with such a silly pony. I started crying until I realized that my friends would never say that to me, ever, because they really love me."

Fluttershy nervously added another. "I saw that nasty Gilda in the GameStop up there. The time she spent yelling at me, calling me names... I couldn't take it. But I new it wasn't real because Rainbow Dash would have put her in her place, just like last time." I saw Dash blush at that.

Dash said "Mine was disappointing the Wonderbolts. They saw me at the Fan Fair and... I really don't want to go into it. I realized it wasn't real because, if I wasn't that awesome, why would they have invited me to the academy? And why would Spitfire make me a leader after the tornado fiasco if I truly disappointed them?"

Applejack put a hand on my shoulder. "I saw my family in that brewery collectibles place up top, and they weren't themselves either. Could even tell they weren't real the same way you did."

Rarity said. "I think you know mine. The mannequins in the Finish Line? Mannequins always creeped me out when I started making clothes. Sure, I realized they weren't going to move on their own, but they still unnerve me from time to time..."

Matt added his. "The gremlins in 'Gremlins.' They always freaked me out as a kid and they still kinda do. I ran into them in the Best Buy Mobile store. Very appropriate..."

"If sharing hour is all over and done with..." Lord Maliss began. "I want the time talisman, and I want it now!"

"What'll you do to us if we don't give it to you?" Twilight asked. "We already know what you plan to do if you get it."

"If you give it to me now, you get out alive." Maliss said. "You have 30 seconds." An hourglass appeared next to him, and the bottom started to fill with sand. "I expect an answer by then."

The group huddled.

"Rarity." I whispered. "Reach into my coat pocket and tell me what you feel, and whisper it. We don't need Maliss hearing it."

Rarity did so. "The talisman!"

"Slip it into your pocket. Make sure he can't see."

"What are you doing, Jim?" Matt asked.

"Trust me." I said. "I'm going to need cover for what I plan to do. Are you guys up to it?"

"Yeah." They all whispered.

"Fluttershy." Twilight whispered. "Do you still have the Elements?"

"Yes, Twilight." Fluttershy answered.

"Good. You'll know when to give them out."

"I hope so."

"TIME'S UP!" Lord Maliss boomed. "What is your decision?"

Twilight stepped forward. "We have reviewed your proposal. While it is tempting, we had to throw out our own counter-proposal. It says, and I quote, for you to 'put your ugly minotaur lips upon our posteriors and kiss them repeatedly.'"

Lord Maliss roared with rage. "SO BE IT!!!!"

"Guys, scatter!" Twilight said. We did so, as a bird materialized in the mall. I dove for cover inside Hot Topic, and started to put my plan in motion. I leaned my shotgun against the counter and opened the package of shoelaces I had swiped from Finish Line. I then pulled out the earring I swiped from Kohl's, and tied the shoelace to the earring. When I was done, from a distance, it would look like a reasonable dummy copy of the time talisman.

I remembered a scene from the Super Mario Bros. movie. In it, Mario had to buy time for Luigi and Daisy to retrieve a meteorite piece crucial to the plot, so he removed one of his shoelaces and tricked Koopa into thinking he had said meteorite piece in order to buy Luigi and Daisy some time. I stuffed the fake talisman into my pocket. Time for step two.

A nightmare bird flew into the shop, diving for me. The last two shells in my shotgun took care of that. I reloaded and stepped outside. I narrowly avoided another nightmare bird, but this one was slightly different... holy shit. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

Applejack had lassoed the bird and was riding it like a frigging bronco! It was quite possibly the most awesome non-movie related thing I had ever seen.

"RIDE 'EM AJ!" I shouted "GO!"

I took another look, and all of my friends were kicking serious ass.

Rarity was expertly dueling a nightmare man with Zar 'Roc. She sliced him in two when he raised his sword for a downward strike.

Fluttershy, normally timid and slow to anger, had flung a nightmare man into a fountain. She parkoured herself onto a nightmare bird and rode it, slapping Applejack a high five as they passed each other.

Dash blocked a sword blow from a nightmare man with her bat. She beat the crap out of him afterwards. With a sword in one hand and her bat in the other, she rejoined the fray.

Pinkie fired her party cannon. The combination of cake, tablecloth, balloons and confetti caused a nightmare bird to crash into a light fixture, electrocuting it.

Matt had emptied his pistol into a nightmare bird. Reloading, he saw a nightmare man heading for Dash, sword raised. He took him out with a headshot.

I ran to Twilight, who had just split a nightmare man in two with her axe.

"I'm going to distract Maliss." I said.

"You're what?" She asked, dumbfounded.

"When I get his attention off of you, get Matt somewhere safe-"

"Matt seems to be holding his own."

"He doesn't have endless bullets. When he runs dry, get him somewhere safe, and have Fluttershy get the elements ready.""

Twilight hesitated. She then said to me "Good luck."

"I'll need it." I replied. I ran down the North Court to the escalator. I took the steps two at a time until I was at the top.

"Oi! Assface!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

An angry Lord Maliss turned around. "Oi, me?"

"Yes!" I was close to crapping my pants in fear, but managed to keep cool. "I must not fear..." I thought.

I held up the dummy talisman. "Recognize this?"

He fell for it. "Give it to me!"

"You gotta catch me first!" I ran like hell for the South Court, Maliss in pursuit. As I passed a large window, I saw Carney's finest doing serious battle with the menaces outside. "Dumbass." I thought. "Concentrate. You're making this up as you go along. You can't afford to lose focus."

Maliss made a grab for me with his giant arm. I slid down the stair bannister just as his hand grabbed the empty air where I had been. I started to double back for the Center Court until Maliss set his hand down to block me. He picked me up with his other giant hand and carried me back to the North Court, his grip like a vice.

We returned to the North Court, and to my delight, the ladies had the Elements of Harmony out and ready, and Matt had taken cover behind the Sbarro counter in the food court. Maliss didn't show if he noticed this.

"BE STILL!!!!" Maliss shouted. The nightmare creatures vanished from the mall. Thankfully, Applejack and Fluttershy were near the ground when that happened.

"DARLING!" Rarity shouted when she saw me struggling in his giant fist.

"You're too late!" Maliss gloated. He pulled out another talisman, this one gold, with a planet done in the same style as the swirl on the time talisman. It looked like the necklace of a Barbie doll in his giant hand. He plucked the dummy talisman out of my hand, laughing in triumph.

"Now, I have both talismans!" He gloated.

"And we have the Elements of Harmony!" Twilight gloated back.

"And if you try anything..." Maliss began, and then began to squeeze me like a stress ball. I couldn't take it. I screamed in pain. He stopped suddenly, looking closely at... oh, crap.

"This is not the real talisman!" He bellowed, angry at being fooled. He started to squeeze again.

"Hand over the real talisman," He started, "Or you'll see the color of this boy's insides!"

I wheezed out "Don't give it to him! Blast him!"

"I know you ponies too well. You won't leave a friend to die."

"Screw him! Do it!"

"STOP!" Rarity shouted, as the pain became too unbearable. "I have it."

"Rarity! No!" I shouted. "Don't give it to him!"

"Hand it over, and I will let this pathetic human live."

"NO! DON'T!"

I fought through the pain to see Rarity. She had turned to the others. I could tell she was crying. Her friends gave her a hug and said something to her, but I couldn't make it out.

Rarity, with an incredible amount of trepidation, threw the talisman at Lord Maliss. He caught it with his free hand.

"Now, remove the Elements of Harmony and kick them over here."

The ladies reluctantly did so.

"Now, let him go." Twilight shouted.

"No... I think I'll hold onto him for just a little while longer, at least until the portal is open. We wouldn't want you trying anything."

He started to chant. "Open wide the gates of time..."

I acted, for Rarity. For my friends. For my family. I bit down on Maliss' fat finger as hard as I could. Maliss roared in pain and released his grip. I hung on for dear life from his finger and pulled myself up, balancing precariously on his hand.

"You little shit!" He shouted. He tried to swat me off, but he made a fatal mistake: the normal-sized talismans were still in his giant hand, hung on his large fingernail. I managed to swat them off, sending them flying to the ground.

"MY TALISMANS!" Now, he was really pissed. "NOW, YOU DIE!"

I ran up his arm as he tried to swat me like a bug. I looked down and saw Twilight levitate the elements back to their rightful owners. They started to take aim and charge.

I remembered what Twilight had told me about the Alicorn Amulet back at Phil's: due to a failsafe spell, only the wearer could remove it. I just hoped my plan would work. I reached Maliss' shoulder and slid down his neck to where the amulet was located, and hung on for dear life.

"GET OFF OF ME, BOY!" He shouted as he swatted at me, but I held on. Then, he did it. He hit the catch that released the amulet, and the amulet and I started to fall to the ground.

"MY POWER!!!!" Maliss' shouted as the Alicorn Amulet, shrinking to normal size, fell into Twilight's waiting hand. As for me, the tree planted in a pot underneath broke my fall... and a couple of ribs.

"Hit him, girls!" Twilight shouted, and the ladies blasted the minotaur with the Elements of Harmony. Maliss writhed in pain as his power was drained away by the power of pure, concentrated love: the power of friendship.

In a matter of seconds, Maliss was normal size. However, he still had one last trick up his sleeve.

"You may think you've won, but I still have one last source of fear. A very potent one..."

Maliss started to change shape: his hands became smaller, more human. He sprouted a suit and overcoat... oh, Christ...

"Recognize this, boy?" Maliss said.

He'd taken the form of... him...

"Oops. Almost forgot..." He snapped his fingers, and a .45 pistol appeared in his hand. He had it pointed at Rarity.

"Now, unless you want to see her die like this boy's precious Jennifer, you will return the amulet and the talismans to me. I know you can't possibly charge up the Elements in the time it would take to fire a round straight into that pretty woman's stomach. A slow, painful death... and the Elements will be rendered useless. Now, HAND OVER MY POWER!"

The ladies hesitated.

"You have until the count of... what was it, boy? Oh, yes... you have until the count of five to give me what I want... One..."

It's stuck!

No...

"Two..."

PLEASE!!!!

Not again... Never again...

"Three..."

Please don't go. Don't leave me... JEEEENNNNN!!!!

I felt fear become pure, unbridled rage. Rage at his abuse of her memory. Rage for making me live through it again. Rage for trying to repeat it with Rarity.

"GET AWAY FROM HER, MOTHERFUCKER!"

I bum rushed the bastard, knocking him off balance and knocking the gun out of his reach. I had him pinned. I was sorely pissed.

"NO! NEVER AGAIN!"

"Darling! Get out of the way!" Rarity yelled.

Punch after punch connected with Maliss' face. I wanted to punch until there was nothing left but a bloody pulp. In my rage, I didn't see the dagger materialize in Maliss' hand. He spat blood and looked at me with a smirk.

"Fine. You may have won. You may send me back to Tartarus. But your victory will not be without it's cost!"

I felt something pierce my chest. I looked down. The dagger was shoved under my ribs, the handle protruding at an odd angle. I staggered back and fell.

"DARLING!" Rarity yelled.

"HIT HIM!" Twilight yelled. After another blast, Maliss writhed in pain once more, and vanished in a bright blast of light. When he disappeared, I knew my sacrifice was not in vain.

"Jimmy? JIMMY!" It was Matt. He was the first to rush over. There were tears streaming down his face.

"Bro?" Matt said. "Why'd you do it?"

"I wasn't..." I gasped. "...going to let him do it again."

Matt started to sob. "I love you, man."

"Love you too, bro."

"Darling?" Rarity asked as she knelt beside me.

"Hi, gorgeous." I said, slightly above a whisper. "Mind pulling this out? This really hurts." I laughed at my own joke.

"Why?"

"Love is give and not take. I'm giving you my life, Rarity. I wasn't going to let the bastard do it again."

Rarity started sobbing. I looked up, and the rest were there. Twilight was trying not to break down. Pinkie's normally poofy hair had deflated as she wiped the tears from her eyes. Applejack had removed her Stetson, holding it over her heart with a solemn look on her face. Fluttershy was crying into Applejack's shoulder. I couldn't see Dash. I looked around as best as I could, and saw her hugging Matt while he cried into her shoulder. I felt my life ebbing away.

"Goodbye, my friends..."

I woke up in a barren desert of whiteness. Utah? Was I in Utah? No, I couldn't possibly be there. Why would I-

It hit me. I'm dead. Holy shit. I'm dead.

I looked around for something, anything.

"Hello?" I shouted. "Is there anyone here?"

"Hi, handsome."

I froze. The voice... it couldn't be.

"Jen?"

"Hello, Jimmy."

It was her! Her adorable face. Her soothing voice. Her attractive body, enough to make you wonder why a schlub like me wound up with her...

I took another look. She was dressed all in white.

"Haven't seen you in a while."

I embraced her, for the first time in what seemed to be an eternity.

"Is this heaven?" I asked.

"Yep."

"You shouldn't be here."

"Excuse me?"

"Not like that. You should still be alive... and you would be if I did something."

"Jimmy, listen to me. You couldn't have done anything."

"That's what Rarity told-" I put a hand over my mouth.

"Rarity? Who's she?"

I broke down and told her. "I love her, Jennifer. And it feels so wrong."

"Why?"

"Because, I still love you."

"Jimmy, just in case you didn't notice, I'm dead."

"And now, so am I. Now I feel worse than I did before."

"You don't need to. You see, I was sent by a certain... higher up..."

"God?"

"You could say that. We had a look at the books. You're not due to arrive today."

"That bastard stabbed me! I'm dead! And don't you go saying I'm just 'mostly dead.'"

"You're not listed for today. Therefore, you're not here permanently."

"But Jen... I really want to stay with you."

"I know, handsome. I know how it ended hurts, but I want to tell you something. Are you listening?"

"Yes."

"You gave me some of the best times of my life, and I'll always be thankful for them. I'll always love you, and I know, in your heart, you will always love me. I took that bullet for you because I saw no other way. Rarity is right. If the roles were reversed, nothing would change. You'd be giving this talk to me."

She paused. "By the way, I saw you two dance. She's quite graceful. Maybe she could teach you a thing or two. That reminds me: just because we used to dance like that, it doesn't mean that if you do it with someone else, it would disrespect my memory. I want to see you happy. I want to see you move on and enjoy your life. You can't if you're still holding on to the past. From what I've seen, Rarity has done a good job pushing you towards moving on. Hell, for the longest time after I died, you refused to consider dating. I don't want to see that. Like I said, I want to see you happy. If there's one thing you take away from all of this, take this: please move on."

I started to weep. "I know you're right, Jen. You always were."

"Not always. Do you remember whose bright idea it was to shift into reverse while in drive and accelerating?"

I chuckled. "Oh, God, how could I forget? Thank god for the Taco Bell napkins in the glove box."

Jen laughed. "See? I wasn't always perfect."

"I know, Jen, but it still hurts."

"It always will. You never forget your first love."

"I don't know if I'm ever going to get another chance to say this, so... I love you, Jen. I always will."

Jen and I kissed... for the first time in two years... and the last time.

I heard a piano tinkling. It sounded familiar...

And then the voice of Debbie Gibson started up, singing about getting lost in one's eyes.

"Do you remember that song?" Jen asked.

"Yes." I said. "I always will. We danced to it at the winter formal our senior year."

"When I finally told you I loved you."

"Yes."

She paused.

"One last dance?"

I took her hand. "One last dance."

The white faded from my eyes. I was on the floor of the Park Plaza Mall. There were police, firemen, EMTs... the works.. and a portal...

"It worked!" I heard Twilight shout. "It worked!"

"Anyone get the license plate of the truck that hit me?" I asked, half-serious.

My friends piled on me in a group hug.

"What happened?" I asked. "I was dead."

"Perhaps I can answer that."

I looked up. A very regal looking pony, with a long, flowing rainbow mane was the source of the last statement.

"Hello, Mr. Quinn." She said. "My name is Princess Celestia."

Two more ponies, one completely blue, the other dressed in colors the Queen of Hearts would appreciate, stepped forward.

"This is my sister, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadence."

"How do you do?" I asked. I looked around and saw the Equestrians bowing. I decided to follow suit.

"You are here because of me, my sister, and Cadence. My star pupil and her friends implored me to bring you back. The only way I could do it was with help from Luna, Cadence, Twilight, and Rarity. It takes a lot of magic to pull something like this off."

I looked at Rarity. Despite looking like death warmed over, she ran up and hugged me, spinning me around in the process.

"It seems that Rarity here is quite fond of you, Mr. Quinn." Celestia said. "You must be quite special to inspire that in such a short time."

"No, madam." I said. "I'm just an average guy. And, it's just Jimmy."

"OK." Celestia continued. "But I find it hard to believe that an 'average guy' such as yourself could pull off such an act of love, one that weakened Lord Maliss enough for the Elements to send him back..."

I replied. "I would like to think that anyone could be capable of that, madam. I'm not special. I'm not extraordinary. I'm average."

That reminded me. "What will happen to Lord Maliss?"

"Well..." Luna said. "He will be getting a bit of poetic justice once we get back to Equestria. He will be getting a dose of his own power. I think that the hallucination of everyone he's ever wronged getting their revenge will deter him from trying again."

"But what about the talismans... the amulet?"

"All have been returned to Equestria. We're thinking of starting an archive for dangerous magical items. The Alicorn Amulet will be the first to go in. As for the talismans, we may still have use for them."

Celestia smiled at Luna. "Twilight Sparkle, I would like to see you. We need to talk about this world."

Twilight, also looking like death warmed over, followed Celestia. "Welcome back, Jimmy." She said, as she hugged me.

Matt and Dash came up to me. "We thought we lost you."

"We?" I asked. I noticed Matt holding Dash's hand. "Ahh..."

"You're my bro, man." Matt said. "I don't think either of us wants to think about what would happen if we lost each other."

I gave Matt a hug. "Well, Dash, what do you think of the human world?"

Dash smiled. "Well, I think Matt and I would like to explore it together, if you get my drift. He makes this world... say, 20% cooler?"

My friends walked off. Pinkie and Applejack came running up.

"I'm SOOO glad you're okay, Jimmy!" Pinkie gave one of her trademark vice-like hugs. Not a good idea for someone who recently died. Man, never thought I'd be saying that...

"I'm... touched..." I could feel life slipping away again...

"Sugarcube, loosen up!" Applejack said. "You're choking him!"

Pinkie got a sheepish grin on her face. "Sorry."

"It's OK, Pinkie." I replied. "I'm glad you're glad."

"Maybe tomorrow, we could throw a "Welcome Back" party!"

"We'll see, Pinkie." As she bounded off, Applejack started to talk.

"You showed a lot of heart. No matter what you say, you're special to all of us."

"Thanks, AJ." She hugged me.

Fluttershy walked up. "I'm glad-

"-I'm OK." I finished. "I've gotten that too many times for one day. I'm tired, I'm hungry as hell..."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"No, Fluttershy, there's nothing to be sorry about."

"It's nice to see everyone getting along with the princesses."

I looked over at the Equestrian royalty. The policemen and firefighters were on a break, talking to Celestia, Luna and Cadence as if they were... friends?

I did a double take. Yep. No dissection. No isolation. Nothing whatsoever to suggest that they would be subjected to the inhuman experiments seen in every E.T. knockoff. The police and firefighters just saw three walking, talking, magical ponies as sapient beings, and were treating them accordingly.

"I always thought that my species would... well..." How do I put something like this to someone like Fluttershy?

"Oh! You thought they'd have all sorts of icky experiments done on them?"

"Yeah." I confessed.

"I don't see them doing that." She replied. "A wise pony once told me that when there's life, there's hope. I see both over there."

She walked over to join the conversation.

I took my friends, the Equestrian royalty included, to Phil's for a late night dinner. Phil gave the princesses their meal on the house, as befitting royalty. Celestia only allowed it when I told her that it would offend Phil to refuse. She would allow my friends to stay with me one last night, and then it was back to Equestria in the morning. We went back home feeling a little devastated, but it was unavoidable. They couldn't stay here forever. Rarity and I just wanted to sleep, but I saw... wait...
The van! My brother-in-law's SUV. They were home.

"How would you like to meet the parents?" I asked.

"No time like the present." Rarity replied.

"How about all of you? Twilight? AJ? Dash? Fluttershy? Pinkie? Matt, you don't count 'cause you already know my parents..."

After a laugh, they all agreed. I opened the door and allowed the ladies to enter first.

"Mom! Dad! I'm home. I've got some folks I'd like you to meet..."

Author's Note

Soundtrack:
H. Chappell - The Gonk (from "Dawn of the Dead"): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V66m52YFZBg (Mall Music)
Harry Manfredini - Big Ben Chase (from "House"): http://youtu.be/ScfY1D87944?t=3m9s (Kohl's)
Hans Zimmer - Dream is Collapsing (from "Inception"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Dream+Is+Collapsing/3IwJkW?src=5 (The huge action set piece)
Danny Elfman - Finale (from "Wisdom"): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqJne0CWehE (Jimmy's sacrifice)
Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders - Heaven to the Max (from "Max Payne"): http://grooveshark.com/s/Heaven+To+The+Max/48Mue8?src=5 (Jimmy and Jen's talk)
Debbie Gibson - Lost in Your Eyes: http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Lost+In+Your+Eyes/3oaIhV?src=5 (one last dance)

Chapter Eight - Friday, May 2 and Epilogue

That morning, I got up at around 7 AM. I quickly got changed into a black dress shirt, jeans, my sneakers, and my trenchcoat. I woke up Rarity, and she changed as well into her maroon jacket, dark green t-shirt, jeans and tennies. We had to take care to avoid the sprawled bodies on the living room floor: the rest of the gang crashed in the living room due to my family's sudden return.

We stol- er, borrowed, Twilight's motorcycle, as the engine on the Malibu was still toast. We were heading up to a place I hadn't been to in a while, and a visit was long overdue. We did have to make a stop first.

After climbing off the bike, we took a walk through Wrightwood Cemetery. As Rarity trailed behind me, I scanned the headstones for one person in particular. I found what I was looking for several rows in. The stone read:

"HERE LIES JENNIFER WALKER

August 3, 1986 - March 12, 2012

SLEEP WELL, CHILD,

THE LORD HOLDS THEE NOW."

I teared up as I set the bouquet of carnations on her gravesite. Rarity set down the roses she had bought, and put her arm around me.

"Feel like doing anything rash?" She asked, obviously thinking about our conversation four days ago, after that terrible nightmare.

"No." I said through my tears. "Not anymore." I hugged her tightly. "This means so much to me... and her. Thank you."

"Like I said before. It's what friends do."

I heard footsteps behind us. I turned, and the sight utterly melted my heart. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Matt were there. Each one had a bouquet of flowers and were walking towards us. When they reached the headstone, one by one they placed their flowers at the grave.

"You didn't have to do this." I said.

"But we did, sugarcube." Applejack said in her appealing country twang. "We had to. It was the least we could do after you gave your life for us... for people you barely knew."

"How did you get here?" I asked. "Matt's car couldn't possibly fit all of you."

"Matt just borrowed your parents' van." Dash replied.

"How did you find out?" I asked.

"Rarity and Matt told us all about her... call it a hunch, but we figured you would do this." Dash said.

"We didn't want you to go through it alone." Fluttershy said. "True friends are there for you, good times and bad."

"And you.." Pinkie started, "...are a true friend, through and through."

"Besides..." Twilight started, "...you took care of and looked after our friend. It was the least we could do to repay your generosity."

Matt just stood there. "They all said what I would have said, bro." He ruffled my hair. "But you know I'll always be there for you."

I started crying in earnest. My friends, old and new, gathered around me in a group hug. The crying was not for Jennifer, for, as she assured me, what happened was not my fault, but for the kindness and generosity shown by my friends, old and new.

I dropped Rarity and the bike at home. I told her I needed some time alone and borrowed Matt's Charger. I drove aimlessly through town, thinking back on the past week. I stopped the car near a rummage sale, and saw some interesting items, interesting enough for my new friends.

About an hour later, I was back home, bearing gifts for my new friends. I called them outside and started to speak.

"Guys, what you've brought into my life can never be repaid, no matter what you think. You've helped me conquer a great demon in my past, and I will be forever grateful. What I've gotten for you guys is the least I can do." I opened the door to the back seat and started with Twilight.

"For Twilight, I got you a complete set of the 2012 Encyclopedia Britannica." I hefted the box out of the back seat and laid it at Twilight's feet. "It's a couple years behind, but a majority of the stuff is still accurate. You can brush up on human history, both the good and the bad, and maybe update Lyra on recent events."

Twilight's jaw had dropped at the sight of the gift. From what Rarity had told me, a new book to read would make her as happy as Nick Nolte with a case of booze. Twilight hugged me.

"Thank you!" She said. "I can make a report to the princess on humanity, and compare and contrast our histories! This is gonna be so great!"

I continued. "For Applejack, I figured that you would have a thing for country music. As part of our cultural exchange program, I present you with these."

I handed her a red Sendik's bag containing three LPs: "Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison," Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler," and Willie Nelson's "Red-Headed Stranger."

"Big Mac... Granny Smith... Apple Bloom... they're all gonna love these." Applejack said, beaming. "These are definitely gonna be played at the next Apple family reunion." She tipped her Stetson at me. "Mighty grateful."

"For Rainbow Dash, I present you with this." I handed her a large, die-cast model of a Blue Angel F-18 Hornet, as well as a Blue Angels DVD.

"According to Rarity, you're always going on about the Wonderbolts, the greatest stunt team in Equestria. You've now got a DVD on the greatest aerial stunt team in human history, and a model of one of their planes."

"This DVD would have been enough. The model makes it 20% cooler." She gave me a friendly tousle of the hair. "Thank you."

"For Pinkie Pie, I give you this." I handed her a pair of Groucho Marx glasses. "I know how much you like to make people laugh."

"But I have several pairs of these." Pinkie said.

"Ah, but do they do this?" I wound up the mechanism on the side of the nose. The mustache started wiggling. Pinkie let out a cry of joy and brought me into a vice-like hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She said, as I tried to breathe. "These are the greatest glasses ever!" She released me, and I took a few moments for my windpipe to recover. I then moved to Fluttershy.

"For Fluttershy, I give you these stuffed animals." I handed her a stuffed rabbit, a stuffed dog, and a stuffed Simba from "The Lion King."

"I don't know what to say..." She started, in her adorable little voice.

"A simple thank you will be enough."

"Okay... thank you."

I pulled her into a hug. "Enjoy them." The smile on her face was worth it.

The seat was empty by the time I got to Rarity. "I don't suppose there's anything in that car for me?" She asked, slightly disappointed.

"What I have for you isn't in the car." I replied.

I slipped Jen's ring off of my finger and onto Rarity's. She gasped.

"That's Jen's ring!" She said, shocked. "Why are you-"

"You played a big part in helping me realize that what happened to her wasn't my fault. You played a large role in helping me to move on. Do you remember what I told you once, about why I wear it?"

"Yes. You said it was to remind you of her, and to remind you of your... inaction..." She slowly realized why I had given it to her.

"She will always be with me. I don't need a memento. That ring also signified the weight I carried after her death." I pulled her close. "I don't have to carry that weight anymore."

She teared up. "I don't know what to say..."

"Then just say this." I kissed her, long and passionately.

It was a couple hours later when princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadence came via the portal to bring my six new friends home.

"Wait." I said. "Before they go, can I see them as they really are?"

The princesses thought about it. Their horns glowed, and my new friends assumed their normal forms, as ponies... six of the most adorable creatures you'd ever lay eyes on. They'd give Gizmo the Mogwai a run for his money in the cuteness department. Adding to the adorability, their clothes were altered to fit them as well.

"What do you think?" Rarity asked nervously. "If you don't love me anymore, I'll understand."

I knelt down and looked her in the eyes. "I'll love you no matter what. I fell for YOU. Don't ever forget that."

Rarity pecked me on the cheek. I looked over at Matt and Dash.

"As a pony or a human, you'll always be awesome to me." Matt said. Dash pecked him on the cheek.

"Well..." Rarity started, "I guess this is goodbye."

I remembered something from one of my favorite movies. I started to speak.

"Don't say goodbye. Say good journey." I started. "It is an old Eternian saying. Live the journey, for every destination is but a doorway to another."

Rarity considered this. She smiled.

"Good journey." Rarity said.

"Good journey." I replied, pulling her into a hug while trying to avoid getting an impromptu lobotomy via her horn. I was astounded by how soft and cuddly she was. Rarity bowed to the princesses and entered the portal. In a moment, she was gone. I did feel sad seeing her go, but I knew it had to be this way.

Twilight stepped up next. She turned to Matt and I.

"Thank you both for your help... and Jimmy, thank you for looking after Rarity." She noticed the sadness in my face.

"You're really going to miss her, aren't you?"

"Yeah." I replied. "It's crazy. I've only known her a week, and I feel like she's always been there. I'm going to miss you, too."

She walked over and put a hoof on my shoulder. "I know it's strange, but I have the feeling you and Matt will be seeing us again. I don't know how or why, but I do."

"Take care, Twi."

"Take care, Jimmy."

She nuzzled me and trotted over to the portal. She was gone.

Applejack was next.

"Goodbye, sugarcubes." She said as she tipped her hat to Matt and I. She went through.

Fluttershy motioned for Matt and I to come over. We did, and she threw a foreleg around each of us, pulling us into a hug.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"No problem." Matt replied.

"Bye."

"Goodbye." I said.

Pinkie was next, her eyes spraying tears like a lawn sprinkler.

"Come on, Pinkie." I said. "Don't cry. You're going to make us all start."

"I can't help it." Pinkie said through her tears. "I'm going to miss you both. I never even got to throw that thank-you party!"

"Well, if you ever come back, maybe you can."

She perked up. "Can I babysit your nephew, too?"

"We'll see." I replied. Matt and I hugged Pinkie before she walked into the portal.

Dash was next. "Will I see you again?" She asked Matt.

"I don't know." Matt said. "I hope we do. I never met anyone like you."

She and Matt shared a long hug. She then turned to me. "Look after him, huh?"

"I will." I replied as she headed for home. The only ones left were the princesses, Matt, and myself. I started to bow to the princesses, but something odd happened. They bowed to me in respect.

"Please don't do that." I said. "I did what anyone would have done."

"You took care of our subjects, our pupils." Celestia started. "It is the least we can do."

"I told you last night. I'm not special." I said. "I'm just plain old Jimmy Quinn. You didn't have to do that."

"Not everyone has to be special to do amazing things." Cadence said. "The most amazing of all aren't the sports stars, or celebrities, or prize-winning novelists."

Luna brought it home. "The most amazing people are the quiet, unassuming ones. The ones that go about their lives, doing their jobs, living their lives, and helping those in need." She paused. "Sound like anyone you know?"

"Yes." I said. It could apply to any number of people I knew. It could apply to my parents, who had raised me and made me what I am. My father, a cop, who did it because the world needed cops. My mother, a patient woman who imposed on me my sense of compassion for my fellow man. My sister and brother-in-law, total opposites, yet happily married and raising the nephew I adore. Matt, always there to share a beer, a story, or a movie. Even Phil, who treated me to sodas on the house, and when I lost my first job, got my spirits up with a rousing song and a free burger. Even... Jen.

Jen, who wanted to be a nurse when she got out of college. Jen, who was always there for me when I fell, always there for me when I had my triumphs, always there to save me from myself, to pick me up, to dance to "Lost in Your Eyes" when I felt down and when we both needed cheering up. To give me a hug and tell me everything would be all right.

I finally snapped out of my thought and spoke. "If anything, I should be thanking you."

"Us?" Celestia said, puzzled. "Why?"

"Your pupils helped me conquer a very dark time in my past. They helped me to see that my girlfriend's death was not my fault. They helped me find my way again. You three must be doing something right to have pupils like that."

I bowed lower in return, in utter gratitude.

All three walked up and nuzzled me. Celestia spoke.

"You may think this is goodbye, Mr. Quinn- Jimmy, I'm sorry. However, your actions and what my pupils told me last night have made me think. Before we came here, the portrait of humanity that we had was just of a pack of primitives, ones who would murder and pillage for no reason at all. Maybe we are ready to learn about one another, to truly co-exist. I will ponder this matter further when we return to Equestria, but rest assured, Jimmy: this is not the end."

The three princesses entered the portal. Within minutes, the portal had closed.

Matt walked over to me and put an arm around me.

"Jimmy Quinn, uniter of worlds." He said. "It sounds nice, doesn't it?"

SIX MONTHS LATER...

It's now the ninth of November. Please allow me to bring you up to speed on what happened afterward.

A day or so after Carney started rebuilding from the assault of Lord Maliss and his minions, we got many, many volunteer workers. Many with strange names. Names such as Braeburn, Hayseed Turniptruck, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, and Cherry Berry. When asked if they were related to the portal or the regal ponies that exited it after Maliss' defeat, a blond-haired, brawny man in overalls, work boots and a red shirt just had this to say: "Eeyup."

Within three months, with the help of the large amount of volunteer workers, the mall and downtown Carney were finally reopened. The volunteer workers vanished as suddenly as they came.

My family and I are doing fine. My dad just celebrated twenty-five years on the force, and got his gold watch. My mom is as supportive as ever. My nephew has entered the first grade, and is charming everyone in his path. As for me, I left the megaplex and got a nice job in an office, with help from my sister. The pay is great and so are the benefits.

However, recent events have affirmed that Celestia was right: what happened was not the end. Just today, I found a scroll of parchment on my porch, addressed to "Mr. James Quinn, aka 'Jimmy.'" It read:

"Dear Jimmy.

Myself, my sister, and Cadence have gone over our pupils' recounting of their adventures in the human world, and the history of humankind, as outlined in the books you gave to Twilight Sparkle. She sends her gratitude for them, by the way. We have decided to appoint Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy as Equestria's ambassadors to the human world. However, don't think the opportunity for friendship and knowledge shall only be a one-way street. As of this moment, I name you, James Quinn, and your friend, Matthew Borchers, as humanity's ambassadors to Equestria. You shall be given the same rights, freedoms and privileges granted to all under our rule. I do hope we can learn a lot from each other, and use it to benefit both our worlds.

With warm wishes and fondest regards,

Princess Celestia.

I was elated. I would be able to see them again... I'd be able to see Rarity again! I literally jumped for joy after reading this scroll.

Much later, I was hanging two new photos on my wall. One was of Jen and I on our first date, at a charity screening of "Friday the 13th Part 3: 3D." The other was a photo I had taken before the six had to leave. It was a picture of my family mingling with our new friends. My parents stood behind me. Rarity and I were holding each other, smiling. Pinkie Pie had Cristian on her shoulders, both laughing and having a good time. Twilight and Applejack flanked Rarity and I. Twilight was smiling her best smile, Applejak had tipped her hat to the camera. Fluttershy had, temporarily, gotten over her camera-shyness and was smiling a gorgeous smile with my sister and brother-in-law. Dash had her arm around Matt. The photo was in a frame from the dollar store, labelled "My Family." As Genesis' "Follow You, Follow Me" ended, the KRNY request line opened, and took their first request.

"KRNY request line, you're on the air."

"Hello, I'd like to make a request for someone very special."

That voice couldn't be... could it?

"Yeah, boyfriend of yours?"

"Yes, you could say that."

Rarity?

"We haven't seen each other in a while. I've been traveling, and I'm coming back to see him. Can you play 'Twist of Fate' by Olivia Newton-John for me?"

"Can do, ma'am. Can I have his name, please?"

"Yes. To my darling Jimmy, from Rarity."

"A very lucky man if I do say so myself. Thank you for your request, ma'am."

"No, thank you for playing it. Goodbye."

"This Jimmy has one special lady. To her darling Jimmy, from his love Rarity, here's 'Twist of Fate.'"

As the opening synths rang out, I bolted outside to wait for her. Good things are worth waiting for, after all. As I reached the door, I heard a familiar voice.

"Hello, darling. Did you get my message?"

It's gotta be a strange twist of fate, telling me that heaven can wait...

THE END

Author's Note

Soundtrack:
Jerry Goldsmith - A Gift of Flowers (from "The Swarm"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/A+Gift+Of+Flowers/2LDzAU?src=5 (Jen's grave)
Klaus Badelt - Wish Me Luck (from "The Time Machine"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Wish+Me+Luck/3MZJml?src=5 (Presents)
Michael Giacchino - The Ellie Badge (from "Up"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/The+Ellie+Badge/4BI7oo?src=5 (Rarity and the ring)
Klaus Badelt - Godspeed (from "The Time Machine"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Godspeed/7bjch?src=5 (Goodbyes)
Genesis - Follow You, Follow Me: http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Follow+You+Follow+Me/4EPr34?src=5 (KRNY music)
Olivia Newton-John - Twist of Fate (from "Two of a Kind"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Twist+Of+Fate/2N7oqS?src=5 (Rarity's message)

Prologue

I'll cut to the chase and introduce myself, since I hate being a stranger. My name is James Jonathan Quinn, and yes, I prefer Jimmy. My mother named me for both her father, James Allport, and her favorite composer, James Horner. My middle name came from "Jonathan Livingston Seagull", her favorite movie. I can't complain, at least it's not 4Real, like a classmate of mine in high school. God, I pitied that kid. Oh, crap, I'm rambling, sorry.

I'm 26, will be 27 in July. I live in the town of Carney, Wisconsin, neighboring the town of Gleason. I still live with my parents, but then again, my whole family lives together: mother, father, me, my sister, my brother-in-law, and my nephew. We're a very close family. I'm... what would be described as average looking. I'm not Taylor Lautner, but I'm also not on par with Woody Allen in terms of looks, and I thank God and my genetics for that. I'm a glasses-wearer, a bit overweight, around 300 pounds, 5' 11", and shoe size 13. I have Asperger's Syndrome, a condition I wasn't diagnosed with until later in life. Until a few years ago, I thought I had ADHD. It's from this that I believe my fascination with movies and pop culture came from. My bedroom is adorned with various movie posters and Blockbuster movie backer cards, and my DVD and Blu-Ray collection numbers in the thousands combined.

I've always preferred time to myself rather than being social and outgoing. I believe it stems from being an outcast at school, at least until sophomore year in high school. I graduated a few years ago from MATC with a degree in Visual Communications, and like many, many other grads, cannot find a job in my field if my life depended on it. However, I like my job at the Dante Cinemaplex, where I'm an usher. It pays well, I get lots of movie freebies like buttons and posters, and I get discounts on tickets, which has served my father and I well.

While I love my family, a true light in my life was the only girlfriend I ever had, Jennifer Walker. She had been one of the few friends I had throughout my school years. She was gorgeous, smart, and charming. Around my freshman year of high school, we realized that we had a mutual crush on each other, me on her for her intelligence and beauty, and her on me because I made her laugh. She made me truly happy. Then... I don't really like to talk about it, but it's important to the story, so I'll bring it up when it's relevant.

Now that you know me, I'm going to tell you the story of one week in my recent past that changed me forever. The remarkable week when... she... came into my life.

Author's Note

Just experimenting with an idea. I started writing this to music on my iPod, and I feel that some of what I was listening to goes well with the story. Think of this as the brony answer to L. Ron Hubbard's "Space Jazz" album, only it doesn't suck. On the author's notes in each chapter, I will list pieces of music that serve as great backing music for the story, along with accompanying YouTube and Soundcloud links.

Angelo Badalamenti - Main Titles (from "Tough Guys Don't Dance"): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCZ9YCCtq3A

Chapter One: Saturday, April 26

It was a long day at the cinema. While the moviegoers are oddly pleasant compared to the stories you hear elsewhere, you still get a few who bitch about the violent content of a film and how its warped their children's fragile little minds. I'm half tempted to snap back that maybe you should be a parent and research this stuff before you take your kids to see it, but it would make the customer more irate, and get me fired. Besides, someone who takes their kid to an R-rated slasher film is not the sharpest knife in the drawer to begin with.

I was looking forward to getting home and relaxing, maybe ordering a pizza from DiMarino's for dinner. My parents went on a little trip to Vegas, a second honeymoon for them. My sister, brother-in-law, and nephew had gone to New Jersey to visit her in-laws. Both groups had left this morning. I had also decided to use my week's worth of paid vacation time during the same week everyone had gone. I had the house to myself until next Saturday evening, and was going to enjoy every minute of it.

I was on my way home, with the sound of Journey's "Only the Young" blaring from the radio of my green '64 Chevy Malibu, inherited from my grandfather. I was singing along, enjoying myself and Steve Perry's vocal abilities. Life was good.

Then I saw something over the nearby woods that intrigued me. I pulled the Malibu over and watched.

The clouds above the woods seemed to be swirling, much like the clouds over the school at the end of My Science Project when a time portal is opened over a high school. As a matter of fact, it looked exactly like that. I saw a lightning bolt, purple in color, strike the ground from the center of the portal. Aferwards, the clouds stopped swirling, and slowly returned to their normal pattern in the sky.

"Weird." I thought. I was tempted to go home, hoping someone had seen it and would report it. I then realized that the area was deserted, and the chances someone else had seen it were slim. There was also a fatal flaw of mine: curiosity. Despite my common sense all but grabbing me by the neck and shaking me, yelling "GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE, YOU IDIOT," I just had to investigate.

I pulled the Malibu up closer to the woods and stopped. I turned off the engine, and retrieved a flashlight from my glove box. It was a MagLight, so if there was anything hostile, at least with something as blunt as that, I'd have a fighting chance. I stepped out of the Malibu, closed and locked the door, put on my dark green trenchcoat, as it was a little chilly, and switched on the MagLight. The high intensity beam lit up the woods. I started walking in the direction of the lightning strike.

It felt like I had been walking for hours. I looked at my watch, one of those Indiglo light-up dealies, and saw that just a half-hour had passed. Judging from what I saw, I knew that- I'm lying, what I meant was I hoped that I was near the site. Fortunately, I was.

I swung the beam of the MagLight around. There was a crater where the lightning had struck. Not unusual for that, I supposed. What was unusual was what was lying in the center of the crater.

I stepped closer and knelt at the crater, shining the light on the strange object inside. It appeared to be a metal pendant of some sort. It reminded me of the AURYN from The Neverending Story in it's craftmanship. It consisted of a circle, with a cinnamon bun-like swirl in the center. Putting a finger out, I touched it. It was a little warm, but safe enough to pick up. This was strange, considering the fact that lightning struck this place a little more than a half hour ago and logic dictated that I should be pulling my hand away in burning agony, but considering what I just saw, it seemed that reality had taken a holiday.

I picked up the pendant and shined the light on it, taking a closer look at it. The swirl wasn't really a swirl at all, but a long string of star-shapes clustered together in a swirl-like formation. I was definitely no expert, but it looked old, Medieval old. It was as rusted as some of the metal weapons from the Medieval era that my freshman high-school class had seen during a field trip to the museum. I slipped it into my pocket.

I heard a twig snap behind me. I shot up, whirling around and shining the MagLight on the figure behind me. My jaw dropped.

The figure was a woman, probably in her early-to-mid twenties. She was utterly gorgeous, a total knockout, almost Far Eastern in appearance. That wasn't remotely what shocked me, though. Nor was it her purple hair and sapphire-blue eyes. What got me was that she was nude. Either she had sleepwalked nude into the forest, there was the quietest freaking frat party around nearby, or there was something unsavory going on, The kind of thing that Benson and Stabler investigate. She looked like she was having trouble standing, almost like my nephew when he first learned to walk. She fell to her knees, and my heart went out to her.

"Excuse me, miss," I said, "are you all right?"

She looked up at me, studying me. I went over to her. "Are you all right?" I repeated. She groaned, then she spoke to me.

"I think so." She had a trans-Atlantic accent, sort of like the Howells from Gilligan's Island.

"Can you stand?" I asked.

"I'll try." I grabbed her by the hand, and helped her up. She managed to stand with some difficulty. As she stood, I noticed a strange tattoo of three light-blue gems on both of her hips. She started shivering from the breeze. I took off my coat and put it on her. She pulled it close to her.

"Thank you, darling." She said. I blushed. Hearing it from Jennifer was one thing, as we knew each other for years before we dated. From a total stranger, from someone I had known for all of 15 seconds, it was... strangely just as heartwarming.

I decided to introduce myself. "I'm James Quinn. Who are you?" She got a worried expression on her face, then she seemed to remember. "Rarity, darling."

"Rarity?" I thought. Maybe she had hippie parents, like another classmate of mine. Poor bastard was named Moonchild. Even the AV Club picked on him. "Well, Rarity, can you tell me what happened to you, or how you got here?"

"I'm not sure. I can't really remember anything but my name, and where I came from." She said.

"Great, we can start there. Where are you from?" I asked.

"Ponyville." She replied.

I froze for a moment, trying to take that in. Ponyville? Maybe she's a mental patient. Maybe I'm having a polite conversation with the female Dahmer. I decided to humor her and see where this went.

"And where is that?" I asked.

"Equestria, of course, silly." She replied.

Oookay. A place called Equestria? Yeahhhh.... mental patient. However, she seemed harmless. There was no blood on her before I put my coat on her, so that was a good sign. I had the feeling she was utterly harmless, otherwise she'd be wearing my skin as a suit by now. However, it was the next thing she said that floored me.

"Does everyone look like you here?"

"Yeah. Everyone's a human, just like you and me." I replied. This caused her distress.

"Human? I'm a unicorn, not a 'human.'" She replied. "See, I have a ta-" was what she got out before she felt around and realized that she did, indeed, have no tail. She felt around on her forehead, looking for something. "Where's my horn?" She asked herself, softly. She soon realized that something else was wrong when she pulled her hands away from her forehead and saw them. "These aren't my hooves!" She yelled. "What are these?"

"They're hands. Everyone has them." I said.

"Not ponies." She said. "I'm supposed to have hooves!"

"Look," I said, trying to change the subject, "Do you have anywhere to go?"

"After that, I don't know. I'm obviously not in Ponyville, if what I've seen is anything to go by." She said.

I felt a mixture of pity and sadness at her plight. Before I fully thought it through, I blurted out "You can stay with me for the night, if you want."

Her eyes lit up. "Really? Thank you!" She hugged me. I awkwardly returned the gesture, caught a bit off guard.

"My car is back this way. I'll take you to my house, and I'll lend you some clothes."

"Why?" She replied. "I normally don't wear clothes."

"Keep your mind out of the gutter, man." I thought. "You have a very vulnerable person here."

"I'm sure that works for you in Ponyville, but you're not there. You're in Carney, Wisconsin. Here, we have to wear clothes. It's the law." I told her.

She processed this. "I don't see why, but OK." She said. "What was your name again?"

"James... Jimmy Quinn." I replied.

"Rarity." She said, as she awkwardly extended her hand. I gave her mine, and she shook it, marking our formal introduction.

"Come on," I started, "Let's get back to my house." We started back in the direction of my car. Rarity had a difficult time walking, so I had her lean on me until she got comfortable walking. I felt like I should call the police, but what do I tell them? I found a naked girl in the woods? We all know how this ends: they think I forced myself on her and I wind up in a cell where some guy named Bubba will make me his bitch. No, thank you. I'll take my chances at home.

I unlocked the Malibu and opened the passenger door for Rarity. She got in and sat down. As I sat down in the driver's side and opened the glove box to put the flashlight away, she screamed, looking at the rear view mirror.

"What happened to me?" She asked. "Why am I so hideous?"

And I thought I had a low self-image. "You're not hideous." I said. "You're absolutely gorgeous." And I meant it.

"Why am I like you?" She wailed. "Why am I... a human?"

"You weren't born a human?" I asked, a bit of snarkiness coming through.

"Of course not. I told you, I'm a unicorn!" She wailed.

"Right." I said, a bit snarky, "A unicorn who looks like a human." She turned to me, anger tinging her eyes. "I AM!" She yelled.

"How can you prove it?" I asked, hoping to talk some sense into her.

"Unicorns, like me, can use magic." She replied. "Some who study it, like one of my friends, can do almost anything..." She paused for a moment. "It's starting to come back."

"Your memory?" I asked.

"Yes." Rarity replied. "Little by little. As I was saying, I'm not as skilled as my friend. I can mainly levitate objects and find hidden gems."

"Fine." I said. Figuring that finding gems would be a longshot for someone without magical powers, much less with, I decided to go with the first option. "Levitate something. If you can, I'll take you to my house and you can stay there until I figure out what's going on. If you can't... I'll still take you home but I'll start calling sanitariums and see if someone escaped. Is it a deal?"

"Deal." She replied, a confident look on her face. Rarity closed her eyes and concentrated. I looked through the windshield to see if anything was moving. Normally, I wouldn't do this, but there was something about her, an absolute honesty to her claims that I could sense. The next thing I knew, there was a rumble from underneath the car. I let out a yelp as the trees started to move away. I looked out the driver's side window to see that I was no longer on solid ground... the Malibu was floating off the ground and continuing to rise. At a loss to rationally explain this, aside from some hidden camera show with a huge effects budget, I gave in.

"OK, OK! For the love of God, please set the car down!" I begged. A smirk crossed Rarity's face as the car was softly lowered to the ground. It took me a while to process this: a gorgeous woman... sorry, unicorn, just managed to lift my car several feet off the ground using only her mind. Now, there's something you don't think very often.

"Believe me now?" Rarity asked. "Oh, yeah." I replied, still a bit shaken. "I believe, all right,"

I pulled the Malibu into the driveway of my house, then shut off the ignition. I unlocked first Rarity's door, then mine, and we stepped out.

"This is your house?" Rarity asked me.

"Not mine, per se." I replied. "My whole family lives here. Mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. They're not here at the moment, though."

"Really?" She asked. "Where are they?" As we walked to the front door, I explained the situation, how everyone was on seperate trips, yadda yadda yadda. I felt around my pockets and let out a "D'oh."

"What is it?" Rarity asked.

"I can't find my house keys." I replied. "Maybe they're in my coat pocket. Can you check?"

Rarity started rummaging through the pockets of my coat. She felt something and pulled it out. She froze, staring at the pendant fom the crater, as if she had just pulled out a loaded pistol.

"Are you OK?" I asked. "I'm fine." She replied, in a flat tone. I wasn't convinced, but I couldn't just continue standing out here. "My keys, please?"

Rarity's head shot up, aware. "Oh, right. Sorry." She fished my keys out from my coat pocket, and I unlocked the front door. I held the door open for her. "Ladies first." I said. She smiled and went in. I followed, locking the door afterward.

The living room was about as cheerful as middle class could be. Beige walls, with several family photos hanging off of them; a cheap, yet comfortable sofa; a recliner; a coffee table with several of my brother-in-law's issues of Entertainment Weekly scattered about; a TV stand with a 32-inch Proscan TV atop it, Blu-Ray player and Roku box next to it; a china cabinet in the corner. A hall next to the TV stand led to my nephew's room, my room, the upstairs stairs, and the front bathroom. The archway next to the china cabinet led to the kitchen. Rarity took a seat on the couch.

"My sister's gotten a box together of old clothes she's donating to Goodwill. I'll dig it out in the morning. In the meanwhile, I'll lend you a few of my things." I told her.

"Thank you very much, darling." Rarity replied. I blushed again. "Not a problem. I'll be right back."

I headed to my room, opened the door, and turned on the light. My room is, to sum it up, a shrine to nerdiness in all its glory. Movie posters covered the walls, my favorite being one for Exit Wounds, as my grandmother was a huge Steven Seagal fan. We even buried her with her VHS copy of On Deadly Ground, but that's another story. My bed sat in the far corner, next to the dresser. A plush Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man sat upon it, along with a Wal-Mart bag containing deodorant and some three-packs of boxer-briefs. Atop the dresser next to it was a Sharper Image bookcase stereo, with both CD and cassette capability, hooked up to a USB turntable. An orange milk crate, holding some of my albums, sat next to it. An entertainment center sat in front of the wall to the left of the dresser, a 29-inch Samsung TV sat in the middle, my game systems and books taking up the left shelves, and some of my movie collection taking up the right shelves. The next wall had a cabinet with the rest of my movies, positioned next to the closet, the door of which was adorned with a poster for my favorite bad movie of all time, Battlefield Earth. Action figures adorned many of the shelves, and models of the USS Enterprise, an X-Wing, and a F/18 Hornet were strung up on the ceiling, swinging in the breeze generated by the ceiling fan. Above my bed, a replica of a sword from the god-awful Eragon movie, Zar 'Roc to be exact, was hung on a wooden holder. It was beautiful in it's blood red blade, and imitation sapphire stone set into the brass hilt. I headed over to the closet, opened the door, and searched for a suitable outfit. I came away with an AC/DC T-shirt and a pair of plaid pajama pants. I went to the bed and unwrapped one of the boxer-brief three-packs, grabbing a pair.

Rarity was perusing an Entertainment Weekly when I returned with her clothes. "You humans seem so fascinating." She said. "You're so much like the ponies back home. We have stuff like this there, covering what's new in fashion, movies, and the like. In my line of work, you've got to keep up with the trends."

"What do you do?" I asked.

"I design and sew clothes." She replied as I took a seat next to her. "If you name it, I can design it. I'm the best in Ponyville." She paused. “What do you do?”

“I work at a movie theater. I sweep up the theaters, make sure no one makes trouble during the movie, keep the place clean. Perfect job for a movie nerd like me.”

“Have you got your cutie mark for that?”

“What?”

“Your cutie mark. It's a symbol that represents your special talent.”

“Humans don't get those.”

“Then how come several people in these magazines have them? Strange that this Mike Tyson fellow has it on his face, though. It looks absolutely hideous.”

“Those are tattoos, Rarity. They're not representative of special talents, they're ways of expressing oneself.”

“So... you humans can go your whole lives without knowing your special talent?”

“Not quite. Many of us figure out what we're good at early in life. Some of us make a living doing that, and some of us toil away in regular jobs when we can't make a career out of doing what we're good at. We just don't have marks that tell us what our talent is.”

“Weird. Fascinating, but weird.”

I realized I hadn't given her the outfit I picked for her yet. “Oh, here's your clothes.” I named them as I handed them to her, just in case. “Underwear, shirt, pajama pants.”

“What's AC/DC?” Rarity asked, having seen the front of the shirt.

“Only the greatest rock band that ever lived.” I replied. “Bathroom is down the hall, you can change in there.”

Rarity got up and headed for the bathroom. “Thank you again, darling. It's not the most fashionable attire, but it'll do for now.”

She stopped. “I just realized. Lyra was right.”

“What?” I asked, before I heard the sound of the bathroom door closing.

It took fifteen minutes for Rarity to exit the bathroom. “Ta-da.” She said.

I looked up from the EW I was reading. She was unkempt beauty personified. “You're right.” I said. “It's not fashionable, but it'll do.”

She sat down next to me. “You seem to be better at getting around.” I said.”

“It just takes a little getting used to.” She said. “We ponies are an adaptable breed.” After a short pause, she said “I've gone on a lot about me, so tell me about you, darling.”

“Trivialities? Hopes? Dreams? Family? What topic?”

“Hmmm... Family.”

“Well, Dad's a policeman, going on 25 years, and my Mom was a paralegal before she had my big sister Audrey. She married my brother-in-law Gus about seven or eight years ago, and my nephew Cristian was born about six years ago. My uncle Joe 's been unemployed for a while and he's been trying to find work.” I continued for a while about some choice moments from my family's life, like my Dad electrocuting himself with a lamp my grandfather rewired, my grandmother's crush on Steven Seagal, Charles Bronson and Ice-T, and the timed she cursed out a nun for taking her parking space (she didn't know she was a nun at the time). I asked afterward “You have a family, Rarity?”

“Yes. My mom and dad, and my little sister Sweetie Belle.”

“All unicorns, too?”

“Of course. My mom and dad are from midwest Equestria. Dad was a hoofball player, Mom was a baker. They settled down in Ponyville just before I was born because he got traded to the Ponyville Mustangs, and my mom wound up staying at home to raise me and later Sweetie. I'm still wondering where I got my fashion sense from, because judging from the amount of tacky shirts and dresses in their closet, it couldn't have been them.”

“Hoofball player?” I soon realized she meant pony football, and tried to picture ponies dashing down the 40 yard line with the ball in their teeth. I managed to suppress a laugh. “Retired?”

“Yes. He coaches now. Mom's gotten back into baking. Judging by how she's been teaching Sweetie, she's a tad rusty.”

“Rusty how?”

“The batch of cookies she taught her how to bake looked like charcoal briquettes. They tasted about as good.”

“Gahhh..”

We spent the next two hours getting to know each other, and it became clear as time went on that the holes in her swiss-cheesed memory were slowly being filled. We were chatting about friends, school, life in general. She told me more about Equestria, and I told her about Earth. She seemed initially shocked when I told her about the World Wars, but she told me that ponies used to be like that before Equestria was founded, and that humans may one day learn to get along. “Don't hold your breath.” I thought. She told me about her adventures back home with her friends, about having helped save Equestria several times, and something about the Elements of Harmony, apparently artifacts that represented elements of friendship and were quite powerful. I was about to write that off, then remembered the hovering Malibu from earlier and reconsidered.

“You seem to be getting your memories back.” I said.

“Not all of them.” She replied. “I still can't remember anything between yesterday and arriving in this world.”

I got up, and got my coat from the bathroom door where she had hung it. I fished in my pocket and pulled out the medallion. I went back to the couch and showed it to her. “Does this jog anything?” I asked.

Rarity struggled to remember. “I seem to remember something about someone escaping from... Tartarus...”

From what I could remember of my high school history, Tartarus was the part of the underworld in Greek mythology where the most evil and wicked people were condemned to eternal suffering. I remembered asking where in Texas Tartarus was. The class was amused, but the teacher, who was from Texas, wasn't. Two days detention was a tad harsh.

“Go on...”

“I remember hearing from Twilight about someone breaking into the Ponyville Museum and stealing an amulet... and something about the Canterlot library, and Star Swirl the Bearded...” She took another look. "The thing seems familiar"

“Do you remember anything else?”

“No, its back to a blur, I'm afraid, darling.”

“Well, at least we're getting somewhere.” I assured her. “It'll come back to you in time.”

Rarity yawned. “I don't know what to make of this world so far, but if there are a lot of people out there like you, it may not be so bad.” She said.

I blushed at the compliment. “I can only imagine how you feel. Imagine if I were transported to Equestria... if I had to live as a pony... I'd be just as disoriented as you were when I met you.”

I only got snoring in reply. I looked over to see Rarity, head on my shoulder, asleep.

“Good night, Rarity.” I said as I lifted her head up gently so I could get up, and laid her down on the couch softly so she didn't wake up. I got her a blanket from the closet and covered her up. Don't want her to freeze the first night in a new world.

I went to my room, and retrieved the loupe eyeglasses I used for my model-building to get those fine details right while painting. I sat down on the bed, and examined the medallion with them. It hit me then that a medallion with swirling stars belonged to someone named Star Swirl. After the chuckle, I noticed what looked like writing on the border. Unfortunately, it wasn't English, and I couldn't make it out. I set the medallion aside, and decided to wait until morning and see if Rarity remembered anything else. After changing into my sleeping attire of a Ghostbusters T-shirt and green-and-gold Zubaz pants and climbing into bed, my thoughts turned to the stranger I had let crash in the house. It all seemed so strange and unbelievable, but I remembered the lightning, her naked in the woods, the levitation of my car, and the strange medallion.

“It is real.” I thought, as I drifted off to sleep. “It's all real.”

Author's Note

Yes. FIM doesn't exist in this Earth. I figured it'd make for a more interesting story.
Soundtrack:
David Newman - Duckburg (from "DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/14+Duckburg/50vjBt?src=5 (Jimmy driving home)
Journey - Only the Young: http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Only+The+Young/3hFB9k?src=5 (Jimmy listening to Journey)
Howard Shore - Main Title (from "The Fly"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Main+Title/3yom2g?src=5 (The lightning bolt hits and Jimmy investigates)
Jerry Goldsmith - Ilia's Theme (from "Star Trek: The Motion Picture"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Ilia+s+Theme/6D7nzE?src=5 (meeting Rarity)
David Newman - I'm So Sorry (from "Galaxy Quest"): http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/I+m+So+Sorry/33qcN4?src=5 (Rarity discovers her transformation)
Craig Safan - Remo's Fanfare (from "Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins") http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Remo+s+Fanfare/3om04d?src=5 (Rarity lifts the Malibu)
John Barry - You're the Duckiest (from "Howard the Duck"): http://grooveshark.com/s/You+re+The+Duckiest+Instrumental/4oXLUh?src=5 (Jimmy and Rarity at home)

A Note from HudsonHawk

To My Valued Readers:

I would like to thank you for reading this work. It was my first for this site, and the first piece of writing I had ever done in a long while. You see, when I comes to self-image and self-esteem, I'm a Fluttershy. I apologize for things that I haven't done wrong or at all, I tend to think the worst about myself, and if I do something that's regarded as truly creative, I tend to put it down to luck.

I had a lot of fun, though and in the end, that, along with entertaining those who read this, is what mattered to me. I just wanted to write a ripping yarn featuring characters from my favorite show next to Doctor Who, Night Court and Mystery Science Theater 3000. I am quite hopeful that I kept them in character. If I didn't, I'm sorry.

If you enjoyed it, please leave a comment. If you didn't... well, still leave a comment. But please, be constructive. No "YU RETArDED" or "U r FAG" style comments. Try and show me what I could do better. I know I could have plotted the story a bit better. There was a lot of writing by the seat of one's pants involved in the production, and I apologize if Jimmy comes off as Marty Stu-ish to some. I was trying to avoid that, and if I failed, I apologize. I did give him many of my likes, and he has Asperger's, just like me, but hey... write what you know.

If you truly enjoyed it, then it truly boosts my spirits to find out that what I wrote was enjoyed by someone. If not, I shall administer 40 lashes with my Fourth Doctor scarf to myself as punishment.

I may write again. Maybe I'll do a comedy, or something lighthearted next time. If anyone wants to pick up the story or do a spin-off, you have my permission. Just please leave a link to your story if you do.

Cheers!
-HudsonHawk