Of Doubts and Demons

by Cursed Tale

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Tragedy
Length: 7681

Desperate to rid herself of her jealousy towards her sister, Luna creates a new spell to contain her hurtful emotions—only to create a new entity inside of her, personifying all of darkest desires with none of her good.

The eternal night is over. It has already passed. Nothing can be done to change the events that lead to it.
This is a story of jealousy and brokenness, of the darkness that hides within our own hearts. It is a story of the delicate balance between chaos and harmony. It is a story of the blurred line between our best and our worst.
This is the story of Princess Luna’s fall from grace.
This is how the Era of the Two Sisters comes to a close. Bitterness and envy have broken the celestial dance of the sun and the moon. Equestria will dawn in darkness, the sun forbore to shine. Night will fall on Equestria itself, forever.
The brightest light cast the darkest shadow.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-12 00:10:04 UTC

Part 1: Doubts

The dark, jeweled sky stretched out endlessly, its splendor shining for all ponies to behold; however, only one pony was up to witness it.

I lay upside down on a tower’s balcony, my chin pointed to the sky. I took a deep breath to steel myself, and then focused on a star. My horn began to glow cyan and my eyes narrowed in concentration. I blocked out everything from my mind beyond the star moving slightly. I saw the image clearly in my mind’s eye and my head lifted as I strained to make the image a reality. The star seemed to wobble slightly, although I wasn’t sure if that was from my magical prowess or if I was just shaking from the effort. My tongue stuck out without my notice to minimize interruptions, and I felt a bead of sweat rolling down my check. My attention shifted away from the star at the sensation.

All at once, the magic broke, leaving me heaving and exhausted, like I had been physically pulling the star rather than only mentally pushing it. My eyes closed and I waited a few moments for my strength to return, ignoring the red stars that danced behind my lids. When I looked again, the star, Hamal of the constellation Aries, hadn’t budged a bit. My face soured and I snorted in distaste. Sure, I could move the moon on my first try, but a hundred years of practice and lesson and I still couldn’t move the stars?I curled my lips to sneer at the sky, but in my odd position, it struck me as just looking goofy. A smile tugged at me and I exhaled, my eyes following the vastness of space as though it was the ground and the earth was the sky. I’ll get the spell eventually, I told myself. There’s no rush. Star Swirl had faith in me. I can bring out the stars for the night, right? Moving them will come eventually.

I rolled over and stood up, shaking out my crumpled sapphire mane. Right side up, the night still enchanted me with its beauty and I breathed it all in. The small hours just before dawn had always been my favorite, the quietest hours known to ponydom, and it was a display for me alone. The softer shades of gray, purple, blue, and green were allowed to shine through, colors a pony wouldn’t be able to see by the light of day. A silky breeze tugged at my mane and tail, bringing with it the faint smell of evergreens. The Everfree Forest stood before me, and, beyond it, the various villages and tribes of my subjects. No pony stirred this late, even the most night owlish of ponies having drifted off hours ago. Even if somepony was up, they didn’t dare intrude on the silence of slumber. It was peaceful. Calm. Tranquil. Beautiful. After the chaos of Discord, my subjects deserved to enjoy this hour of the night safe and sound asleep, without worry or nightmares.

I took back up scanning the forest for danger, too strained to attempt to move the stars again. It was my only duty of the night, aside from rising and lowering the moon and keeping it straight on its path across the sky—protect the ponies. Before, my sister and I would smooth over issues the tribes had with each other or prevent wars between Equestria and neighboring countries. Once we split up our duties, the day dealt with the dignitary ponies and paperwork, while the night protected against dangers that could not be reasoned with.

In my opinion, the night shift was indefinitely more interesting.

At least it had been until as of late, when the monsters knew I would be there to stand up against them and had given up trying to defeat me in combat. Tonight had been even more painfully dull than usual, the only highlight a sleepwalking pony that I had to lead back to his home without him waking up, and that happened ages ago. My wings felt antsy at my sides; my legs ached from idleness. But there was nothing to be seen except branches bathed in starlight.

And then, something darted beneath the shadows, its figure obscured by the trees.

I froze instantly; my eyes narrowed as I searched for the creature. I considered; Celestia would be taking over the day shift soon, and I was planning on waking her up in a few minutes to let her get ready for the day ahead. Whatever moved, it looked small, so I could rule out manticore and chimera as to what the creature was. I translated that to mean “probably not dangerous”. But it still could be, and the night had been far too quiet to ignore a “could be”. Chases usually did not come so willingly to me. My wings snapped open and I crouched, readying myself for the flight. I launched myself into the air and soared to the forest.

The creature had a head start and I hadn’t exactly seen where it went, but that’s what made this game fun. I dove into the trees, bobbing and weaving through the branches, my instincts guiding me while my eyes scanned the ground and my ears strained for a telltale scuffling.

I landed suddenly in a tree and listened, my dark coat blending into the night and hiding me. I waited a few moments for any unintentional noises that I had made to be forgotten and kept my horn unlit. In the silence, I soon heard a rustling deep in the forest, approximately a furlong away.

I noiselessly glided to the ground and stalked closer to the noise, my movements mimicking the undergrowth, my heart thudding inside. When the scurrying was directly in front of me, I stopped.

Without warning, I leaped into the air and down in front of the creature.

And realized that I had just completely freaked out a small family of raccoons.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry!” I abandoned my Royal Canterlot Voice to save them from being further spooked. I crouched down so I was eye level with them. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you were something else.”

The raccoons still huddled against the tree trunk, shaking from fear, and it slowly dawned on me: they were not looking at me. They were looking at something behind me.

Slowly, I rose to look.

I only saw a shadow, tall as me. I could have mistaken it for my own, had its legs been attached to the soles of my hooves and not supporting its own weight. Fear prickled inside me at the sight of it and I dipped my head, my ears pinning back. My horn ignited in light. “Stand down,” I warned.

The shadow vanished deeper into the forest, further into the shadows, where I knew it could only grow stronger. Without hesitation, I magicked a ball of moonlight and shot it directly where it disappeared to trap the shadow. The miniature moon rose into the forest canopy, shining out moonbeams, forcing the shadow to cower before me.

“We do not take kindly to your kindred here.” My head rose as I approached the shadow, keeping myself surrounded in light to prevent it from harming me. When King Sombra was defeated, most ponies knew that he had cast a spell to cause the Crystal Empire to disappear with him. What most ponies didn’t know was that his dark magic gave birth to sentient shadows, who hid during the day and grew in the darkness of night, hidden away from the moon’s light. Dangerous in numbers, powerless against light, they preyed on a pony’s fears, delighted in the secret truths ponies buried deep within themselves to hide from others. Ruling over the night, I had been tasked with destroying every last one before they attempted hurt somepony.

The shadow hissed as it inched away from my light, becoming formless in the remaining darkness.

I took no chances with it; although it could not physically touch me while I was bathed in light, it could dig with words and find the chinks in your heart’s armor. My horn charged and I blasted a beam of light at the darkness, engulfing the area in white. The shadow seemed to vanish, but that meant nothing. Wary, I kept myself surrounded in light as I went to investigate.

“Princess Luna...” The darkness whispered, dragging out the words as though it could discover my fears from only my name. It edged as close as it dared, stalking around me. I prepared another light spell and fired it, but the shadow evaded my attack once more. “We see inside of your heart, Princess of the Night, see your true face hidden beneath your own darkness…there is fear in you, Princess Luna.”

My ears pinned back. I watched over my shoulder and slowly revolved on the spot, trying to pinpoint where it would reappear. I snorted in agitation. My foreleg pawed the ground, daring it to come closer. “Do not feel bad…every pony has their fears…hiding them does not make them go away.” I heard it lift its muzzle and sniff.

“You are jealous of something…perhaps you feel that your nights have become lonesome while the days’ importance has increased. It makes you frustrated, does it not, how there’s nothing you can do to change it.”

“Enough!” The force of my words caused my horn to grow brighter still. “You’re lying,” I said, my voice low. I pawed still, wanting to destroy it quickly before it could keep digging at me with words, planting seeds of doubt that could take root. But I couldn’t keep silent—impulsively, I responded. “I am the reason they sleep soundly in their beds, that they are safe when they wake for the day and are able to laugh and play. I protect my subjects against the likes of you, against those who sow malice and disdain, who poison love with whispering doubts. My subjects appreciate my work, they love my night and the peace it brings, and it’s only through me that they can!” I mentally admonished myself for speaking, for giving in so easily to its bait. Don’t give it power over you, Luna…

“Do your subjects care about you, or do they only care about the night and sleep you bring?” The shadow quickly responds. “Do they parade around, thankful that you are there to safeguard the night? Or do they ignore the beauty you have brought forth for them and sleep through your creation without a second thought?”

“Silence!” I aimed a shot of light at the shadow, but it easily retreated further into the darkness.

“You know our words are true. You have told us yourself, after all.”

I turned and spotted it once more. It was no longer the tiny shadow from before. It now towered over the trees, its head stretched to the clouds. My light waned slightly as fear began to set in. Block out its words, don’t let it get to you, I reminded myself. It can’t hurt you unless you drop your light…

As it spoke again, it seemed to grow even more, until it could reach out its arms and they would encompass the entire world, until all that remained was my lone light against a suffocating darkness. “You tell yourself so many lies that you can do nothing but believe them. How beautiful the quiet is, how peaceful their slumber is, how thrilling it is to vanquish Equestria’s enemies. But nopony truly understands what you do each and every night, all that they care about is you sister. It is inferior to the day. You’re only the lone princess of the night, loyalty protecting her subjects, never appreciated when everypony only cares about your sister.”

“We said SILENCE!” My horn blazed like the midday sun, anger replacing my fear at its words, and my Royal Canterlot Voice broke through. “How dare thee! We will be missed when we art gone, and thou shall pass away as quietly as the snuffing of a candle!” I tilted my head back and let the spell enwrap the woods with light. When the magic faded, the shadow was nowhere to be seen, and never would be seen again.

Chapter 2

I landed on my balcony a few moments later, cold despite the warmth in the air. I was back later than I meant to be and I should have hurried to wake Celestia to make up for lost time, but I didn’t move. I could only stand there, shaking slightly. I felt jittery, like I had trodden on an anthill and the colony swarmed my legs and flank. It ran deeper, though. The invisible ants burrowed inside my skull. They made me want to shiver and scream and run.

Nervously, I shook out my neck and mane, enjoying the tickling of hair scratching my skin, and I imagined that I was shaking the jitter ants away. See, it’s over with, I told myself. You’ve shaken it away. Forget what it said. This wasn’t the first time a shadow had attempted to get under my skin, although this was the first time I felt like it succeeded. Normally, I had some moments to prepare myself against one, where I could focus on something insignificant for it to pull out of me rather than letting it truly reach deep into my heart. I shook again, the realization bringing back my uneasiness. It wanted me to focus on your fear instead of it, so I would lower your guard. What it said isn’t true and I knew it. Don’t let it rattle you like this. I breathed deeply to calm myself. You did well, I told myself.

The thought brought back my confidence, and I entered the castle through my window. Celestia’s room wasn’t far away from mine, just down the hallway and last door on the left. My hoof-steps echoed in the quiet and I felt alone. It was a different feeling than solitude which I’d grown accustomed to. This loneliness pressed hard on my chest, making it feel like my harness was constricting my breaths. I was suddenly grateful I was at Celestia’s chamber door and knocking to wake her up—I wouldn’t be alone for much longer.

I heard her groan and, from the sound of it, turn over and put her pillow over her ears.

“C’mon, Celie, rise and shine. Literally.”

“The sun can wait to rise for another ten minutes,” she responded, her voice sounding muffled.

“I’m late as it is, so no it can’t.”

She groaned again, mumbled something I couldn’t understand, but within a minute she opened the door. Her rainbow mane was ragged from sleep and one whole side of her fur was sticking up against the grain.

“You look lovely this morning,” I teased. “Sleep well?”

“Shush.” Celestia walked by, headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I smiled to myself—she handled getting up far better than I did. I required at least a half hour of snooze time before I finally dragged myself out of bed.

With nothing else to do, I headed into the inner courtyard to wait for her. The moon stared down on me as I sat down in front of it. It was beautiful, no matter what that shadow said. It wasn’t just in my head. My night was a glory to behold and everypony knew that; after all, they didn’t drop asleep as soon as the moon rose. I knew ponies across Equestria watched as I called out the stars one by one.

I heard Celestia approaching behind me and she sat down next to me, her mane and tail brushed and smoothed so they rippled as though blown by a wind only she could feel. Her crown now sitting on top of her head and her harness gleamed in the moonlight.

“It’s a little bit early, don’t you think?” She asked.

I shrugged. “It’s been a slow night.”

She looked thoughtful. “I suppose. And I do have quite the day ahead for me.”

With that, I opened my wings and hovered above the castle, the moon level with me. My horn ignited and the familiar cyan glow surrounded the moon. A warmth flowed through me from it, and I felt like the moon had become a part of my own body, or rather that my body became a part of the moon. I slowly lowered and touched back on the courtyard, and the moon mimicked my action until it was parallel with the ground. I dipped my head and it disappeared beneath the horizon.

Celestia spread her white wings and lit her horn—the sky instantly lightened at her magic, transforming from soft blue to pink. She beat her wings and lifted into the sky, the sun following after her. The brightness of the sun after the dimness of night forced me to look away, but Celestia never seemed bothered by it. She only closed her eyes as it rose above the horizon. She released her magic when it was high enough for the morning and flapped back down to earth, yawning loudly.

“How was your night?” She asked me as we headed back inside the castle.

“Dreadfully dull. For the most part. Helped a sleepwalking pony, fought off a shadow creature, accidentally scared a family of raccoons.”

“You’re still dealing with Sombra’s shadows?” She sounded worried and my heart sank. I didn’t want her to worry about my duties; she had enough to deal with than to have to add what was on my plate.

“It was nothing,” I dismissed. “Took care of it within a few seconds.” Give or take. “How does your day look?”

“Dreadfully busy.” she winked as she said it, making me laugh.

“Wishing you had my shift now, don’t you?”

“Wishing that the Crystal Empire business had never occurred.”

This sobered me up.

Although it’s been several years, we were still feeling the repercussions of the Crystal Empire event, not just from the shadows that still plagued us. King Sombra was a tyrant, a powerful mage, and horribly clever. While we were still cleaning up the damage that Discord brought to our land (and me taking over the day shift just to help with the efforts), Sombra seized his opportunity in our distraction. By the time we realized what was happening, Sombra had overthrew the rightful rulers and enslaved the crystal ponies. When we led a siege on the city to take back control, we turned him into shadow, but not before he casted a powerful spell, causing the kingdom to vanish, leaving us and our army standing in the cold.

But that wasn’t really the issue now, not really—when we defeated Discord with the Elements of Harmony, our subjects were jubilant that we had freed them from his reign. When Sombra rose, they felt assured that we would be victorious once more. But the Fight for the Crystal Empire was seen as a defeat on our part; we failed to save the crystal ponies. Now they doubted our leadership, seeing how quickly an enemy could rise and defeat us (Discord) or prove our tactics useless (Sombra).

As the tribes’ leaders liked to point out, they could govern themselves. We were just there to prevent war and protect Equestria

And we were failing on those regards.

“What time should I wake you?” Celestia asked when I reached my bed room.

“Same time as usual.” I disappeared into my quiet room. In a few minutes, the helper ponies would start waking up and getting things ready for the day ahead. The castle sometimes reminded me of a slumbering beast who, once the blood started flowing and tiredness stopped weighing him down, would stretch and rise and go on its merry way. I wasn’t saying that this was a bad thing, not at all—it was just that, after being removed from the noise of day for so long, I could no longer remember what it was like to move through the noise and be a part of it.

I magicked the curtains closed in my room, reducing the sun’s rays from intense to a small line against the tile. Although my room is smaller than Celestia’s, that fact’s never bothered me too much. It’s not like I spent much of my time in here. Like the night, it’s heavy in dark blues and purples, with black and white accents. The ceiling was high and painted with stars that shined softly in the dark. The furniture I had were soft and comfy, where a pony could easily curl up and relax in front of the fireplace. I had a small collection of weapons next to the dresser—they didn’t get as much use as they once did, when I had much more dangerous monsters to stand against, where my magic proved useless against their armored backs.

My black harness slipped off easily and I laid it beside to the door. I kicked off my horseshoes. My crown came next, and I set it on my night stand.

I snuggled under the covers and retreated behind the darkness of my closed lids. It had been a long night. My legs felt tingly and weightless as I lay, the pressures of work finally gone and now were able to relax. Sleep should have come easily for me. The closer to sleep I got, however, the more the shadow’s words came back to haunt me.

I tried to block them out, but I couldn’t stop them when they were coming from inside of me. It was easy to snap back at the creature, but in the quiet of my own bedroom, I was forced to listen to the shadow’s words repeated over and over again. The more I listened, the less I could respond back to shut them down. I wanted to blackout, postpone the moment I would have to digest what it told me for as long as possible.

Despite the words against me, I knew my responses were true.

The problem was, I was starting to see its words as also being true.

I wasn’t jealous of my sister—that I knew for certain. I knew the kind of work she went up against, and I wouldn’t trade our positions for the world. Far too scheduled yet completely hectic, and far less exciting than what the night offered. I’d take dangerous creatures and battling for survival over dignitaries and paperwork anytime.

I didn’t care that the ponies slept through my night—that’s what I strived for, to give them peace and safety while they slept. The night was created for slumber in the first place. I was the one who brought forth calmness and quietness to allow for it, and I wouldn’t stop fighting for it.

It said those were lies you’ve told yourself to feel better about it. Okay, maybe that was true, but so what? This is what it took to maintain harmony, especially now with how fragile it had become. Until things had stabilized, even if I didn’t like it all the time, there was literally nothing I could do about it.

I rolled over fitfully and squeezed my eyes shut, as though that alone could drive away the memory. I buried things so deep inside myself, emotions I didn’t even know I had, and the shadow knew just how to dig to unearth them. Leaving me with the consequences.

That was the danger of shadows—their words felt and sounded true, so much so that you wanted to believe them, to fit the world into the words’ shape.

I knew what it had uncovered, the real reason why I couldn’t sleep. Everything else were things I could easily dismiss as lies.

Do your subjects love you, Luna?

I could respond Yes as much as I wanted to and not change anything. I could scream No and still have no idea if it was true. And that scared me deeply.

They have to see all that you’ve done for them, I thought. Your work doesn’t exist in a vacuum.

I forcefully rolled over and tightened the covers around myself. Your subjects appreciate you, Luna, I told myself. They appreciate your night, your fight to keep them safe. Don’t listen to the shadow’s words.

Prove them wrong.

Chapter 3

I sighed. The thought brought with it a surge of energy, and I realized that I was never going to fall asleep without settling this. I could prove the shadow wrong, prove to myself that I was right. But how?

I slipped out of bed and paced about my room. How should I go about this? Possibly, I could ask around the castle for what they thought of me, but I dismissed the idea. I didn’t like ponies interrupting me when I was in the middle of something, and it seemed rude to do it with them. Besides, these were the ponies who were used to seeing me around and who already knew what I did for them each and every night. I chuckled at the sudden mental image of Little Hooves and Rose Flare, two of Celestia’s helpers, when they saw me after I returned from a particularly exciting night. I could only imagine what they thought I had been through, when clips and chunks of my mane and tail were missing, mud was splattered across my front, and I kept insisting that it “’twas only a Tuesday night.” Their horror struck faces kept me amused far longer than it should have, considering all that had happened was I got in a fight with a tree and barely won.

I could go into some of the villages and visit with my subjects; I couldn’t remember the last time I had done that, surely it was moons and moons ago. This too I dismissed easily: I just imagined how the conversation would go between us. “How doeth thou view us?” “Very highly, I must go now, your majesty.” No pony would dare say anything else to my face; the story of how I bested Princess Platinum when she was rude to Celestia and I had become quite well-known amongst the ponies.

This gave me an idea—what if it was a different face that asked them? If I posed as a traveler, than the ponies would be more willing to open up about how they viewed me than if they thought it was actually me. I was sure there was some sort of transfiguration spell in the library—despite my issues with the star moving spell, I was fairly good at other sorts of magic, having hundreds of years of practice on top of my already powerful alicorn magic. I set off at once.

A few ponies gave me strange looks as I trotted through the Hall of Hooves, heading to the library, but none stopped me or questioned why I was still up. I supposed they felt it wasn’t their place—I was royalty, after all—but I didn’t like being seen as unapproachable.

I reached the stone alicorn statues that flanked the library’s entrance and went inside. The library was Celestia’s only requirement for the castle, and I had to admit, it came out gorgeous. She described it as everything a library should be—full of books. I described it as how every library was—deathly silent. As I walked, the utter lack of noise raised the fur on my back and tightened the muscles around my legs, sensations I associated with bolting in fear and therefore disliked.

Let’s not take any longer than I need to. Celestia had labeled most of the sections, from history to science to spells. I past the section where I knew Celestia had hidden a secret reading corner you could reach, if you knew to tilt one of the chairs back. I found the magic section and quickly scanned the titles for something that would be of use. The Book of Spells seemed to be a good place to start. I read through the index for transfiguration. Seeing none, I replaced the book and repeated the process down the line, until I found the section that was literally nothing but transformation spells. I wanted to smack my head into the closest table for being so impatient to find the book and not reading through what was already here. When I resumed by search, A Guide to Advance Transfiguration had my answer. I laid the book on a table to study it.

Reading through the spell, it reminded me of star moving; much more systematic and exact, unlike other charms that allowed for creativity. I scanned through the section, trying to find partial transformation instead of full transformation, as I was only seeking to change my height, fur and mane color and therefore didn’t have to worry about bodyweight, amongst other things.

I finally found it in the Equine transfiguration section. It seemed difficult, but I had dealt with harder spells before. I decided on what I wanted this new form to look like—not wanting to make it too difficult on myself, I chose colors that weren’t too different from my own coat and mane. I decided to make this form an earth pony, and mentally changed my cutie mark from a white crescent moon to a yellow moon. I pictured this pony until it no longer looked like my imagination but a pony I had actually seen in real life. Still holding onto the image, I tapped into my magic and let it envelop me in a bright light.

It felt like I had merely lifted my head to the sun on a warm summer day, and a breeze played with my mane and tail. When I released my magic and opened my eyes, the sudden shorter stature of this new form took me by surprise. I spun in a circle to observe myself. I was now teal with a light blue mane and tail that was much cut shorter than my own, and the new lightness from it felt oddly freeing.

Judging from the sun’s path across the main aisle, I had been down here for roughly an hour. More than enough time for the ponies to be up and moving. I trotted back to my room, passing a golden-colored pony I remembered was named Royal Ringer. He gave me an I don’t know you—are you supposed to be here? look, which I just smiled at and kept moving. Luckily, I didn’t pass anypony who knew I wasn’t supposed to be there.

Back in my room, I checked out my reflection in the mirror. My eyes had remained the same shape and color, but with everything else that had changed, I doubted anypony would notice. I sparked my magic to make sure I still could, and noticed that you could still see the glow, despite not having a visible horn.Lesson one, then: Don’t use magic on this trip. I found a spare white saddle bag and magicked it onto my back. Okay…starting now.

Now remember, Luna, I told myself as I tightened the stash on my saddle bag with my mouth. You’re in disguise because they wouldn’t ever set off your temper in front of you. You can’t get angry, no matter what they say. I stared at myself in the mirror for a second, then, realizing how stiffly I stood, I slouched. There, that looks not like Luna but the lonely traveler Sweet Dream. I picked the name off the top of my head, but it seemed to fit.

I turned to leave the room and was forced to stop in my tracks. Which village was I going to? I had been so busy getting a disguise ready that I completely forgot that part. I dug around my room for a map of Equestria, and chose an Earth Pony village solely on name: Fox Chase Hills. It was northeast of the castle, nestled behind the Foal Mountains; a several day hike on hoof. I supposed that a little bit more magic couldn’t hurt me that much more by this point, and cast a teleportation spell.

I reappeared on a road—the bright sun blinded me and it took a few seconds before I could get my bearings. The dirt path I was standing on was well-worn with wagon divots. Besides me were amber fields for miles and miles. Hills dominated the northeastern portion of the landscape, and the Foal Mountains rose to the sky in the south. I set off at an easy lope down the trail, my head on a swivel as I took everything in. I had been in this area before, whenever I was doing my flyovers, but everything looked so different in the daytime. Colors were richer, brighter, more vibrant, and contrasted with one another—it was rather like looking through kaleidoscope. Years ago, I could have looked a world twice as bright and not had to squint.

As I neared the village, I slowed to a trot, not wanting to seem too eager. There was only a smattering of well-worn buildings that were at the cusp of falling apart. The few ponies that were still in town hardly gave the buildings a look as they trotted on their way. For a moment, I wondered where everypony was, for there couldn’t be that many buildings for so few ponies, and then I remembered—as an earth pony town, most of the ponies would be out in the fields. I wondered how few remained in the town square and hoped it would be enough for my purposes here.

It struck me just how not-thought out my plan was—I was sleep deprived and starting to feel like walking death, and I had already forgotten to take into consideration the kind of village I’d be visiting in my haste to do this, probably due to the sleep deprivation. On top of that, though, was my rapidly growing apprehension. How in Tartarus was I supposed to do this? I hadn’t planned this far ahead, beyond “talk to them and get information”. Doubt crept in, asking if I was sure they would say they appreciated both of the princesses. Worse, what if they didn’t care about me? What would I do then?

I didn’t want to think about it; I couldn’t let my mind go there. The present is hard enough without worrying about what could happen. If I wasn’t the kind of pony that I am, I would have turned around right then and there. But I had to see this through—I couldn’t even let anything else be an option. If I stopped to think, I heard the shadow’s words buzzing around in my skull like a trapped bee, and I had to set it free by any means necessary.

I stumbled upon to the town’s square, unaccustomed to finding my way if I wasn’t flying. Either luckily or unluckily, there were several venders who had set up shop, so I couldn’t abandon the project on the grounds of “there was no pony there”.

Reluctantly, I approached a stand that sold bread, since it had the longest line and therefore I could put off the moment I had to do this for as long as possible. The ponies that stood in front of me were two unicorn mares and a pegasus stallion. The mare running the stand was an exhausted-looking, amber-hued pony with a grain of wheat for a cutie mark. She glanced at me as I approached, her head turned quizzically as she wrapped a loaf for one of the unicorns.

“Never seen you around these parts,” she said to me gruffly. Her voice was gravelly and hoarse, but not unkind. “I’ll get to you soon enough.”

I thanked her. It occurred to me that, with the additional viewpoints of the unicorns and pegasus, now would be the best time to start questioning. Jumping right into “hey, the princesses; what do you think of them?” seemed too rude and strange, and by the time I’d figured out how to start, the first unicorn had taken her purchase and left for another vendor.

“How are your, er, livelihoods?” It seemed awkward before I had even finished, and I felt like kicking myself for not thinking more. I felt exposed.

The vender thought about it for a second. “Hard, mind, but getting better.”

The unicorn only huffed. The pegasus merely shrugged.

“You lookin’ for a spot to settle or somethin’?” The vendor said.

“Sort of…” I was momentarily distracted from the realization that this new form was a lot smaller than the stallion’s frame, and it made me feel uneasy. I was so used to looking down on everypony that being smaller and having to look up was off-setting. I remembered that I should probably expand on my answer. “My, uh, town’s from outside Equestria, just beyond the Badlands, and I’m trying to figure out…” How had she phrased it? “where’s best to settle.”

“Back where you came from,” the unicorn replied curtly.

“Now, don’t say that,” the vender admonished. “Things are getting better. Princess Celestia is workin’ her hardest to restore this kingdom.”

“Well, until she’s done, you’re best going back from where you came from.” The unicorn told me. “The princesses haven’t had the best track record. I don’t want to jinx it,” she casted a meaningful look to the vender. “But I reckon it’s just a matter of time until some other issue pops up. Big issue, one that the sisters won’t be able to handle. One that will defeat them, and then we’re back where we started with.”

“Now, now Classical, we can’t give up hope,” the vendor said. She smiled ruefully at me. “Things are a bit tense at the moment.”

“Things have been tense for the past fifty years,” Classical muttered under her breath.

I seized my chance and feigned ignorance. “The Princesses?”

“Celestia and Luna,” the vendor said. She finished wrapping Classic’s order and took the pegasus’. His takes so little time that I found myself next without a clue what to order. “Uh…I need two loaves of wheat.” I made up on the spot.

“Absolutely,” she said. “I’m Hazel Harvest, by the way, but everypony just calls me Hazel. What’s your name?”

“Sweet Dreams,” I said. Hazel readied my order by mouth, making it impossible to hold a conversation with her, and I wanted to kick myself again for picking this place. As she finished up, I took another chance. “So…who are the princesses exactly? What do you think of them?”

“Well, it’s as I said; they’re workin’ their hardest. Lot of issues that need resolved on their plate right now. But it will get better, but times are tough at the moment.”

“You mentioned one—Celestia—but what of the other?” I tried oh so hard to keep the anticipation out of my voice.

“Luna…” Hazel shrugged. “Don’t know too much about her. She brings forth the moon, and Celestia raises the sun, if you want to know about that, although I’m sure even where you’re from you’re aware of that. Celestia’s the one who does most of the work, though, in my opinion; never see Luna around or hear how she’s helping restoring peace and harmony. I shouldn’t say that though—I suppose she’s nocturnal, so a pony wouldn’t see her during the day. Can’t imagine what she gets into, though. That will be about twenty bits, dear.”

Never see me around? Of course you don’t, I do the heavy lifting in this! Celestia just signs papers and talks to ponies all day, I’m the one who actually fights to keep the dangers away! I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts and it took a second for me to register what she asked. I automatically reached for magic to pull out the change I had brought before I remembered that I was supposed to be an earth pony. I dug out the amount with my mouth, wondering how any pony could survive having to put this metallic, nasty-tasting bit in their mouths day in and day out. I thanked Hazel and collected the bread before trotting to another pony to talk to.

My next stop was at a corn stand. Again, a mare was running the stand, this one named Cornflower. She’s a light blue pony with an orange mane, and an ear of corn for a cutie mark. There was not a line for her, so I was able to talk for a bit.

“How are things going for you?” I started out.

“Could be better, could be worse,” she said as she gathered together my order. “It’s real fragile at the moment—that scares me the most. But, if we have another harvest like this one, and another, I think things could stabilize for us around here.”

“I’m trying to find a place to settle.” The lie came easily this time. “How are things, uh, leadership-wise?”

“You mean for Chancellor Redwood or the Royal Sisters?”

“The Sisters.”

“Well…” Cornflower tapped her chin with her hoof. “Princess Celestia has her work for cut out for her, no doubt about that. We’ve suffered a lot lately, and it’s going to get a whole lot worse unless she can pull things together. I’m not sure if she can; of course, I hope she does, for all our sake’s.”

“But what about the other sister?”

“Luna…I know she protects the night, but as to what else she does…keeps us safe, I suppose. Don’t know how well that’s been working out for her, considering Discord a few decades ago. Ah, don’t look like that, I’m sure she’s important, an excellent pony, even if I don’t know exactly what she does. I don’t think anypony does.”

“All you see is Celestia’s work,” I said. If she heard the note of anger and annoyance in my voice, she ignored it.

“Well, it’s the most visible, darling.”

Silently fuming, I paid for the order without another word.

I wasn’t sure where else to go next—I wanted to find the pony that would assure me that yes, I was important and knew that without having to wonder about it, and I wanted to find that pony next. I didn’t get a choice, however; the two unicorns I had met at the bread stand spotted me and trotted over.

“Hello,” the one said. “Classical Debut and I were talking, and I fear she was rude to you. I just wanted to welcome to Equestria. I’m Wynne Chime.”

I stared at her, unsure of what to say. The two contrasted each other so well that I thought they might be sisters, now that I was looking at them properly. Classical was white with a dark brown mane and tail, while Chime was dark brown with a white mane and tail.

“Oh, well, thank you,” I said when I found my voice. “I’m Sweet Dream.”

“I still stand by what I said,” Classical said, and Chime shot her a look.

“It was rude,” Chime responded.

“Doesn’t change the truth of it,” Classical said. “You’ve come at a bad time, Sweet Dream. Yes, things haven’t fallen into full out war, nor have the Princesses been overthrown and we’re now slaves, but that’s the thing—it could still become a reality very, very soon. It’s dangerous riding the edge of civil unrest and prosperity like this.”

Chime was forced to agree. “Instability is risky and scary, but they’re working at it. I have faith in them.”

“What do you think of Princess Luna?” I asked Chime. I didn’t care that my question was up front; she might be just the pony to save my faith in my subjects.

She thinks about it for a second. “I’m sure she works hard, like Celestia. I’m sure both of them will pull us out of this.”

“Doing what?” Classical huffed. I felt anger rising in me and wished that I could have silenced her before she could continue. “Did she prevent Discord from overtaking the throne? She’s supposed to be the action one, the fighter of the two, but she just stood there and let Discord take charge. And Celestia was the one who discovered the Elements of Harmony to turn him to stone, not Luna.”

“Maybe there’s a lot of other threats that we don’t even know about, and she stops those,” Chime played advocate for me, and I felt a swell of affection for her. “After all, our nights are peaceful. Have you heard of anything since Discord? We sleep soundly enough in our beds.”

“It’s only a matter of a time,” Classical shook her head. “I’m sure those ponies before Discord came felt the same way.”

My mouth was opened to speak on my defense before I remembered I couldn’t. My forelegs desperately wanted to strike out at Classical, make her pay for what she said, and it took a lot of effort to keep them reined in. Discord’s uprising was my fault? I wanted to squash that lie with my hoof and bury it deep. I couldn’t take any more of this.

Forcing a teeth-clinched smile, I said “Thank you. I need to go now.” And I trotted away before they could follow me.

So this is what they think of you,I thought fervently. I glared at every pony I saw on my way out, their looks of surprise and concern only fueling my anger. No pony knew the extent of my work, understood just how much effort it took to stop the creatures that called for their blood. The sacrifice I gave, how nightly I risked my neck to give them a night of sleep.

Princess Celestia was the public face of the Royal Sisters and, as such, was far more memorable and important in my subject’s eyes. All they saw was Celestia’s struggle, her valiant efforts, to bring back peace and harmony, and how it was getting better, things were improving, all because of her and only her. I was just the other Princess.

The message was loud and clear: Celestia was the special one.

I was the afterthought.