“Guaauaahh.” Russ groaned.
“I can’t friggen' believe I decided to come with you, dude, I mean what the heck is out here that's so interesting?” I rolled my eyes, he didn't have the same appreciation for exploration and outdoors that I did, which I suppose I should've taken into account when I asked him…
Why did he come with me?
Russ sat on the couch twiddling the sticks on a controller, as the sound of distant explosions and guns emanated from the television. As Jake strolled by with a basket of laundry. He backpedaled a bit to ask Russ a question.
“Hey Russ, I'm gonna go hiking in the forest in a couple days, wanna come?”
“Yeah, sure, whateve- Oh come on!” Russ threw his controller onto the couch. In a fit of frustration.
“Great!” Jake went back to moving the basket.
Oh yeah…
“Well there's always sticks to play with if you get bored, make a shelter or something.”
“I might just.”
“Oh wait- don't do that, we're not there yet!”
I pretended I knew when we were stopping. It took me a while to realize it, but I didn't exactly know where we were at the time. I sure wasn't following any trails, and every time I looked back brought me closer to the realization that it all looked the same.
Suddenly the forest got darker, denser, more saturated. It felt more wild, less like a hiking trip and more like a game of survival.
“Huh.” I exclaimed, noting this odd change in scenery. I heard something scurry off, and the whole thing quickly seemed more alive, anything could happen.
“Maybe we should turn back now.” I said, turning foot just before being stopped by Russ turning me back by the shoulder.
“No way, you brought us here, either we keep going, or we stay here, but it better damn be worth it.”
I suppose Russ was really set on that. Well, better not to disappoint him.
“Alright, alright, have it your way.” I threw my hands up for emphasis, and continued the way we were headed. After a while of wandering about, I, of all two people, sat down on a downed log on the edge of a clearing.
“This spot seems nice...Ish… Why not rest here?” I wasn't fooling anyone… Or at least not Russ, we had passed about fifty nicer spots on the way there. He didn't seem to care anyway, though. He shot me a look, then went about fiddling with sticks, logs, moss, pine branches, whatever he could find.
I sat there for a while trying to think of what to do. It was pretty clear Russ didn't want to go back until he'd accomplished something, and I don't think I could get us back even if he did. I decided to go searching for water, our water bottles were pretty much empty, and I happened to have some potassium permanganate on me.
I searched for quite some time, making sure I always knew where the 'camp' was. Getting lost twice over was not on my bucket list. Eventually I found what looked like a small pool of incredibly reflective water.
It didn't take me long to realize the trees on the other side didn't match the ones above. This wasn't something reflective, this went somewhere, which disappointed me momentarily, until I realized the implications. I tried poking at it. It felt like it was resisting me as I did so. I even stuck my head in there, the air was breathable, in fact, the gravity was flipped.
My mass fell too far forward, --quite an accomplishment when your instincts tell you "That's a huge drop."-- and I slipped in and floated partway through. Then pulled myself back out taking a moment to stare at the hole. I could see the terrain failing to match up, dips going farther down on one side than up on the other.
There were stones, too. Four small obelisks positioned around the hole on the other side, with glowing runes printed on them. Foreboding, but not particularly ominous.
After finishing up my long observation I stood back up and dusted myself off to get Russ.
When I got back he was poking something with a stick. Figures.
“You’re not gonna believe what I found.” I said.
“Our house?”
I facepalmed. "Of course not."
"Well that would be pretty unbelievable." He said, tossing his stick over-shoulder.
"Weren't you going to make a shelter or something?" He thought for a moment. Long enough to force me into continuing the conversation.
"Aaaaaanyway, just come here, this is crazy." I beckoned him the way I had come from, walking slow enough for him to bridge the distance.
We arrived, and I presented it with my extended palms. "Tada!"
"What, what is it?" He walked over to the point I had displayed.
“Whooaaaa.” He backed away from the hole as soon as he had realized it was there. I ran up and jumped straight in, smiling all the while, and from beneath the ground I heard him shriek. I poked my head back out the other way to confirm to him I was still alive. Seeing that Russ had fallen over backwards made me chuckle a bit.
“Ohhhhohoh god, don't do that. Ever.” He said, getting back to his feet.
“Well come on then, let's see what this is!” I said, shifting away from the hole and getting up to look around.
Russ jumped through the hole while my back was turned trying to figure out where we were. I turned around to see him lifting himself up from his knees.
"Where do you think we are?" I asked.
"Why are you asking me? You're the one that brought us out here." He said, trying to get the mud off his pants.
I started walking around to see if I could find a better view of our location, to no avail. Every direction just looked darker and denser than the clearing with the hole. I picked up a rock to occupy myself while I thought over our options. We could've kept going deeper, and risk losing the hole in an unknown location, or leave and... Well I don't know what we would've done if we left, we'd probably loose the hole, and just stay lost in the forest.
I chucked the stone as far as I could, then realized the best option. I snapped my fingers,
"We could leave markers to lead back here. What do you think?"
"Shouldn't we plan an expedition or something instead of just going off and exploring?" Russ glanced back at the hole.
"Well we're not gonna get any less lost if we go back."
"Wait, we were lost?" Russ looked appalled. "And you didn't say anything!?"
"You were the one that made me keep going!"
He opened his mouth a couple times, then began pacing, with one hand holding his arm, and the other against his forehead.
"Well?" I asked.
He just made a few pissed off noises. I didn't think he was getting anywhere with his thought process, so I made the decision for him.
"Come on." I started walking in the most convenient direction, after about four yards or so I set up a pile of rocks and sticks, something unnatural looking so we could find our way back. I turned around to see Russ wasn't following. "Come on!" I said again for emphasis.
We weren't getting separated and I was determined to keep moving. Thankfully my second attempt to get his attention worked, and he caught up with a firm and brisk walk. I could tell he wasn't happy with me. He never got like this unless things were serious, he was always pretty cheery, although granted, not very responsible.
I decided not to say anything, let him cool down for a while. I kept setting up markers at regular intervals. As I did, something caught my eye, it was moving. I stopped dead still, hoping it wouldn't see us. Russ picked up and followed suit... Until I realized it was a plant.
"What the heck is..." I approached slowly, I made out that it was a couple of wavy vines, originating from a point in the ground. It was kinda silly looking, almost mesmerizing, waving back and fourth, intertwining, but never tangling, acting like they have no point but to wiggle, aimlessly, forever and ever until- "Jake?"
I shook my head. "Sorry, zoned out." I got a little closer, careful not to actually touch it, and then:
It danced.
I kid you not, it did a song and dance without the song... Well, as close as you can get to a dance for a plant, anyway. My brain stopped working, I started staring at it again. I think Russ got distracted as well, up until he said
"We need to get this thing a top hat and cane!"
"...Uh huh. Let's just keep moving." I said, unwittingly continuing on our path.
"Aw..." Russ pulled himself away from the plant, taking a moment to look back at it before catching up to me. I caught myself taking a glance as well, it just went back to wiggling.
...Crazy plant thing.
I heard something run off again, much like before. It was a 'skitter skitter' type sound, so clearly it was something small. I looked in it's direction, and saw something glowing. A pair of eyes, it looked like, for the brief moment it was there. It put me off ease, but I didn't say anything.
"This place is creepy as fuck." A small purple ball with wings buzzed past me as I spoke.
"And weird to no end."
I nearly forgot to place another marker. I had made about seven, each one easily visible from the last. As I placed the last stone I saw the eyes again.
"What the heck was that?" I spoke up this time.
"Was what?"
"There was a pair of evil looking glowy eyes over by that bush, there!"
I pointed in the direction I saw them, and lost my finger to an aggressive pile of wood.
I liked that finger.
"Holy Jesus fuck!" I yelled in reaction to the sudden wooden wolf pack, nevermind the finger.
I pushed Russ to run, and took off as quickly as I could behind him. He started screaming, I realized if we did manage to get away his scream would easily give our position away, so I shushed him. It felt a little weird, though, it was mostly quiet, besides brush getting brushed and the occasional bark.
I broke out into laughter as I realized all of the possible bark puns. Russ glanced at me between strides, looking at me like I had lost my mind. And perhaps I had, but I sure as hell wasn't insane enough to stop running. Once we put enough distance between us and the wolf things I signaled Russ to break right, and I jumped for cover, him following close behind.
The wood-wolves ran up to our location, sniffing and growling. I nearly facepalmed as I realized we could never shake them off unless we climbed a tree or something, and that'd take more time than we'd have. I was going to try and search for something to use as a weapon on the ground, but as I searched I realized my right index finger had been bit off, and how much it hurt.
Thankfully it wasn't bleeding very much, I just tried to cover it with my other index finger. It felt really weird and gross. I made a clubbing gesture to Russ to see if he could find it instead. One of the wood-wolves were getting awfully close and we needed insurance.
Then something absolutely unexpected to the both of us happened, a funky horse bug with holes in it's legs came out of the blue and started kicking ass.
Yeah, I really can't explain it any other way, it happened so fast. I think there were lasers or something. Green ones, not those cheap red ones, so smug with their longer wavelengths.
Green lasers are humble.
When the dust had settled, and there were what now looked like several green campfires lying about I got a better look at the creature through the bush. It had giant blue eyes, two large fangs protruding from it's mouth, and looked like a unicorn-pegasus hybrid, but far smaller. I could hardly contain my 'squee' as it sniffed the air, looking around for... Us? I guess? I glanced at Russ, and did a double take. He looked absolutely horrified, and was slowly moving away on his back.
I suppose he was right to do so, that thing just destroyed a pack of something the both of us could probably barely handle one of. It put me off mood, it started to look less cute. How does something like that work? It beats the ever loving crap out of some predators, looks adorable, then stops looking adorable the moment I realized it had done so. I think that process is out of order...
However, I couldn't take my eyes off it... Yep, lost my mind.
I decided we should leave now, this things senses didn't seem nearly as sharp as the wood-wolves. I helped Russ up, and we snuck off.
We crouched through the vegetation very slowly, until we were sure we were far away enough. We started walking again. We didn't say a word, or look at each other for that matter. I thought to myself if I should place down another marker.
'Oh no, no no no no' "No no noooooo!" I grabbed Russ by the shirt, save for a finger.
"We lost the markers! Russ, we lost the markers!" It was a pretty long way, too. Long enough and through thick enough brush to put distance between us and wolves, while carrying backpacks, no less. I stared into Russ' eyes. I thought I had broken him, he had a vacant expression. He'd been through a lot a minute ago, I guess he had earned the right to stop emoting for a while.
It actually made me calm down a little too. 'What's done is done, let's stick with that for now.' I let go of his shirt.
"Alright." I started up my thought process, circling around Russ. "Alright, we need to get moving... No, something to protect ourselves. Yes, that, alright, we need fire, or spear things or something. And I need a bandage to stop my finger from bleeding." I took a long look at my missing finger. I'd miss it, that's for sure.
I started pulling things out of my backpack. Oil, what's left of my water, rope, gauze, my knife, and beef jerky.
I first got to work on my finger, it needed more immediate attention than weapons. I soaked water on a small pad of gauze, then wiped it on the hole where my finger used to be. I wrapped more gauze around my thumb and over the wound. I looked over to Russ while I worked, he was already at a small branch with his knife, sharpening the end.
Good to know he's alright. I started hacking at a sapling to get a wet stick.
Whack.
'Where is this place, anyway?'
Whack.
'Certainly not earth, plants don't dance, bouncy balls don't fly, and wood doesn't bite your finger off.'
Whack.
'But it does resemble earth, a lot.'
Whack.
'Like some kind of fictional story.'
Whack.
'One of them old fairy tails, or something.
The fibers started peeling, so I chopped those off, and freed the branch. I looked around for some moss, not the kind that grows on rock and feels like carpet, the kind that barely touches the ground, looks all funky, and sometimes grows on trees.
"Hey Russ, I need some torch moss, do you see any?"
He took a brief look around, but shook his head when he didn't find any.
Whelp, so much for that. I needed a substitute, so I checked my backpack to see if I had anything porous and flammable. The only things I could find were clothes and gauze, and I needed something I could replace. I decided to use the clothes. Despite how much I liked them, the gauze was much more valuable, and probably created fumes.
I ripped and cut a shirt to the appropriate size, wrapped it around the stick, and doused it in oil.
'So long old buddy.'
Sentimental attachments to clothes aside, I got my lighter out from my pocket, and lit up the torch.
...Ahem, and lit up the torch!
"Gah, stupid oil!" Russ took a quick look at me trying to figure out what I was doing. I decided I'd needed a campfire of some sort to light this thing up. I gathered a few twigs and tried that.
"We're making camp already?" Russ asked me, looking at my pitiful attempt at a fire, as the last flame started dying down.
"No, I just need something to light this torch." I told him, displaying my work.
"Save it for night time, dude, I mean, what good's a torch gonna do during the day?"
"Well you saw what those wolves were made of, a sharp stick is just gonna break if it hits one of those."
Russ stared at me for a second. "Touche."
Russ came over to help me light up the fire. He knew far better than me what he was doing, and soon we had something hot and large enough to light the oil in the torch. I stood there for about half a minute with the torch in the fire, and I saw the clothes starting to char, I pulled it out and it was most definitely on fire, woohoo!
"Actually, making camp might not be a bad idea, looks like it's getting... Moderately late... To some extent... Kinda."
Really, I just didn't want to have to go through the process of making another fire so soon later. I planted the torch a small distance from the fire, and busted into the beef jerky.
"Alright, I think we should set up tarps or something, we need a place to sleep tonight." I said as I stuffed some delicious jerky into my mouth.
"Okay, do you have blankets or sleeping bags?"
"Nnnnnope."
Suddenly a voice from behind me made me nearly jump from my skin.
"There you are, minions!"
The bug-icorn had found us. I stood stunned, trying to process too many thoughts at once, between it talking, it not killing us, the opportunity to confront something so cute, and the fact it had found where we went.
"I require the love of a pony!.. Oh, and a milkshake if you can manage."
