EQG: Featuring: Dax!

by The King of Hearts

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Sex, Sunset Shimmer, Anthro, Main 6
Length: 1949

Dax is the star of Equestria Girls... for some reason.

Having finally gotten her hands on the Element of Magic, Sunset Shimmer transforms in to a being of powerful magic. And with the brainwashed students of Canterlot High behind her, she won't be stopped by anyone, on her quest to take over Equestria.

Dax just has a few words to say first.

Not canon whatsoever.

Published 2014-11-05 03:10:28 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-05 03:10:28 UTC

EQG: Featuring: Dax!

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EQG: Featuring: Dax!
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“I am your princess now…” Sunset Shimmer said to the student body of Canterlot Highschool, her smile twisting contorting the new demon-like face she acquired since her transformation, “And you will be loyal to me!”

The front entrance of the school was ripped from its place, as everyone ran from the approaching Shimmer, her wings beating powerfully as she caught up with them instantly, and began to cast her most powerful control spell.

The furthest students only made it halfway down any hall. But, that didn’t matter. As soon as she cast, they all lost their ability to go any further. Their minds were wiped, and their only concern was following the instructions of the girl flying in front of them.

“Round them up and bring them to the portal,” She commanded to her minions, Snips and Snails, as they ran in to the crowd of controlled students, and began moving them in to the position she had requested.

Walking out the destroyed entrance, Shimmer looked over the only people that hadn’t been affected by her mind control spell, as they all glared her direction.

“Spoiler alert, I was bluffing when I said I was going to destroy the portal,” She chuckled, smirking back at their heated looks, “I don’t want to rule this puny high school! I want Equestria!”

Twilight looked back and forth to her friends as they all shared nervous looks over her confession.

“And with my own little teenage army behind me, I’m going to get it!” She said, exploding in an evil laughter that would rival that of any villain Twilight had ever encountered in Equestria.

“No… You’re not!” Twilight said determinedly, her courage not wavering in front of their terrible enemy, “I’ll—“

“Just a sec Twilight,” A black haired, and fair complexioned guy said, walking past the teenage girl, and making eye contact with Sunset Shimmer, “I have something to say, if that’s alright.”

Twilight wanted to stop Dax, but Sunset Shimmer made no move to stop him. So, she simply let him have his moment.

“Okay, so, I just wanted to be clear about something,” Dax said, closing all distance between himself and the demon flying in the sky, “I am really friggin’ disappointed!”

There was a soft murmuring behind him, as the group of friends tried to figure out just what he meant by that.

“Well, I certainly hope you’re feeling something after losing to me like this!” She laughed, flashing her new sharped-toothed smile, “If it makes you feel better, you never stood a chance.”

“What?” Dax asked, tilting his head, “No no no no. It’s about your transformation!”

She winced, as she, and all the other girls gave him a confused look.

“Like… okay, well, you remember when Rarity turned in to Nightmare Rarity,” Dax said, looking back to Twilight, as she was the only one who knew about the situation, “She went from Beautiful Rarity, to sexy-as-fuck Nightmare Rarity.”

“Excuse me?” The human Rarity asked, but was ignored completely.

“When you, Sunset, started to transform, I was all like ‘yeah! Now we get a sexier evil version of her! This is gonna be awesome!’” Dax explained, his face more serious than it had ever been, “But look at you! You’re ugly! Like, I’m in to sexy demon chicks, but not literal ugly-ass demon people! My heart just broke!”

Sunset Shimmer was shocked beyond the ability to say a single word to him.

“And just let me be clear, real quick. I would have banged the shit out of you before you transformed! The red hair just does it for me! And your butt looks great in that dress.” Dax continued, not planning on being stopped by anything, “But! I should say, before I go any further, that I have a mare who loves me, and I’d never cheat on her! Never!”

Twilight closed her eyes and sighed. She should have brought Spike.

“But! Say she dies terribly? And I’m a complete mess for months? Crying every day as I drown my sorrows in ice cream? But then one day, I notice you in the coffee shop that I spend my lonely hours in, a couple of times? And after several weeks of just staring at you, I get the courage to talk to you, and you agree to go out with me on a date?” Dax said, his tone and face still reading as dead-serious, “Then after a comfortable amount of time together, we finally agree to take our relationship to the next level, and bang like friggin’ monkeys? I would have done that! With you! Before you turned in to this… gross monster! Aren’t you honored?”

“You can’t be serious.” Sunset Shimmer said, shaking her head slowly in disbelief, as her mouth hung open.

“And just let me reiterate,” Dax said quickly, “I would have wrecked you in the BEST way possible, if we were in a stable, consenting, and comfortable relationship.”

She just tilted her head. The shocked expression still painted on her face.

“But now, here you are. A nasty-ass demon. I don’t like that.” Dax exhaled, shrugging with his lips pursed, “Would you mind just changing back? For me? My lil’ Sunny?”

“Buck…” Twilight said, face-palming.

“I will not be spoken to in this way.” Sunset Shimmer growled, as her shock turned to pure anger, “You will—“

“Shh.” He said abruptly, only fueling her fury, “Just change back. Manipulate men with your body instead of your magical powers! If I could use all this to get my way, you bet I would!”

Apparently ‘all this’ was his hips, as he shook them back and forth.

Fluttershy was shocked by the conversation for slightly different reasons.

“Don’t you think Dax is a little sexist?” Fluttershy muttered to Rainbow Dash.

“I don’t think he really is…” Dash said, having a vague understanding of this guy since his arrival a few days ago, “He’s just being a dick to set her off… I think.”

Sunset shimmer brought her hands together, as a ball of magic began to form in her hands that was so dark, it seemed to suck in all the light from around it. And the group of friends behind Dax didn’t like the look of it one bit.

“Say one more word.” Shimmer said, her twisted, toothy smile returning, as the ball of magic began to spark, and vibrate loudly, “I’m begging you. Just one. More. Word.”

“Geez! I won’t say a word, okay?” Dax said, as she laughed at his backing off, finally shutting up the loud piece of crap below her, “LOL, JK, I’ll say a whole bunch!”

She growled, “What did you—“

“Listen, I’m going to be honest, I really would like to wrap things up here sooner rather than later… because, well, I kinda wanna get back and bone that chick a little bit. Well, the ‘other’ her.” Dax said, pointing his thumb over his shoulder at the human Rainbow Dash, “Because, dude, you should see how much bigger a dong gets once you go to Equestria! It’s like this big!”

All the girls cringed as Dax held out his right arm, and made a fist.

“Isn’t that wicked?” He laughed, looking between his arm, the group of girls, and Sunset Shimmer several times, “Become a horse, get a two foot wang!”

“That is enough!” She shouted, pulling her arm back, and readying the spell, “I’m a god now! And I have no desire to listen to your idiotic rambling anymore!”

Throwing the ball of dark energy forward as fast as she could, Sunset Shimmer watched with glee as it flew toward the ass-hole standing before her. But, before the magic made contact, he held out his arm, and blasted it with his own spell, destroying it completely.

“What?!” She shrieked, as he looked up to her with a smile.

“I don’t need a horn to use magic,” Dax said, smirking back to Sunset, as her heart dropped in to her stomach, “But… well, to be honest, I didn’t want to use magic unless I had to! For a really important reason too! It’s… because, well… um, Never mind, you’ll all laugh at me.”

Pinkie looked back and forth between her friends, feeling bad for the guy, so she shouted out to him, “We won’t laugh at you!”

He flashed a smile.

“Well, if you insist!” Dax said, stepping far enough to the side so he could address both Sunset, and his friends, “When I got here, and I found out that only the winner of the weekly prom-coming got to wear the crown, I was a little excited! Because, well, since I missed my own graduation, and never got the chance to be at a dance like this… I guess… well… Ijustwantedtobenamedqueenandbepopularforonce!”

Twilight closed her eyes and shook her head. What the hell was wrong with Alex, for this guy to even exist?

“What’d he say?” Applejack asked, having not caught it all.

Dax exhaled dramatically, and looked to her with his best faux-sad face.

“I just wanted to be named queen, so I could be popular for one time in my life,” Dax said, forcing a tear to roll down his cheek, “So I could feel pretty! So everyone would love me! But, you know… without the bucket of blood falling on my head, leading to a mass murder.”

Applejack wished she hadn’t asked. He made zero sense.

“So!” Dax said, reaching out his arm once again, toward Sunset Shimmer, “I’ll be taking my crown now, so I can feel like a mutha’fuckin’ princess.”

“You think you can just take this from me?” Shimmer shrieked, slowly backing away, “As long as I live, I’ll never--!”

“Yoink!” Dax said, batting it off her head with a gust of magic, sending it spiraling through the air, and in to his hand.

Sunset Shimmer instantly returned to her previous, human form, and abruptly fell down, on to her butt, with a face that could only be described as incredibly embarrassed, but focused on Dax.

“Finally!” Dax said, placing the tiara on his head, and growing a massive smile, “Everypony loves me!”

The patch of field where he stood instantly started sprouting flowers around him, as he poured some of his magic in to the ground.

No one even moved to apprehend Sunset Shimmer, nor did she make any move to run away. All were affixed by the scene of flower petals blowing in circles around the dude, who was also spinning with the tiara on his head, as he hummed ‘Dancing Queen’ both loudly, and obnoxiously.

“Are you sure I fall in love with him?” The human Dash asked, pouting slightly at her own taste in men, “He’s just… I can’t even.”

“I’m so, so, so sorry.” Sunset Shimmer said from her place just ahead of the girls, “If I never see him again, I’ll be happy to just be friends with you guys. Okay?”

“Deal.” Every girl said at once, before looking at Twilight.

“Take him home!” They said in unison once again.

Twilight looked over to the twirling guy once again.

“I’m sorry too, you guys.” Twilight scratched the back of her head, “I’ll, uh… See you all next time.”

“And that’s how Sunset Shimmer learned about the magic if friendship…” Twilight exhaled, to her teacher Princess Celestia, and the rest of her pony friends, “I’m not sure how I feel about the experience.”

Looking in the corner of the room, Dax was dancing once again, with the tiara on his head.

“I don’t know either.” Celestia replied, unable to look away from him, "I just don’t know.”

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