Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Twilight Sparkle a little purple unicorn filly, that was destined for greatness, sat in the waiting room of the Canterlot post office. Her parents were busy sending a bunch of letters, mainly apologies and bills for accidents she had caused. As a very bright young filly she tried to look around the waiting room and find something interesting. Unfortunately the waiting room was so dull and boring, with plain white walls, and plain old wood floors. The only thing that was interesting to think about was, why were the chairs so uncomfortable? Were they specifically designed so that ponies wouldn't sit in them all day and hurry to get their post office tasks done? But who would actually lounge about a post office and make such a need for uncomfortable chairs? It made no sense whatsoever.

Twilight became so desperate for anything to take her mind off the boring room that she walked over to a stack of address books and looked through them. A majority of the books were for Canterlot but just different editions from each year. Although it could have been interesting to compare the oldest edition to the newest one, the books were in such a sorry state that many of the older ones didn't even look like booms anymore. It saddened the little filly to see any book in such bad care, but she knew that there was probably nothing she could do. Twilight gave a moment of silent mourning for the books that could never be read again, and started looking at the cover pictures for the address books of other cities. She knew that the contents of the books would be boring and useless to her, but at least the pictures were interesting. One had the big blocky skyline of Manehatten, another showed the splendor of Las Pegus, but one just left her confused. It was a new book that thankfully hadn't been vandalized, but it also seemed to have never been opened. It was for a city called Salt Lick and on the front it had a picture of a beautiful large church, but unlike the churches she had seen this one didn't have the sun symbol of the Solestian church. Twilight was so confused by this that she walked over to the counter to talk to the mail clerk. The mail clerk in question was a tan earth pony with a black mane, who really hated his monotonous job. "Excuse me Mr. Mail pony. Can you tell me any thing about this place? Like why doesn't the church have Celestia's sun on it?"

The clerk out of boredom decided to help the little filly but the moment he saw the book, he could not hide his sneer. "That, little filly, is Salt Lick City and the reason there is no sun on it is because that city doesn't pray to Celestia. The ponies, if you can call them that, of that city pray to Nightmare Moon." Twilight gasped at such a crazy idea and nearly dropped the book. The clerk didn't notice and kept on talking. "I hear that the unicorns there have goat horns, and that they eat the foals of ponies that aren't Lunarmons. I do hope that you don't have family living there." Twilight shook her head quickly knowing that none of her family lived in such a strange and evil place. "Good. Now you best put that away." With that the clerk folded his front hooves and watched the little filly scurry back to the waiting room.

Despite the clerk's answer even more questions filled young Twilight's mind. Was everything the mail pony had said true? Was there even more odd and strange things about the Ponies of Salt Lick that he hadn't mentioned? For all Twilight knew the Lunarmons of Salt Lick sounded so strange and backwards that she wondered if the Dads got pregnant there instead of the moms. Twilight realized that she would really find out what it was like there was to ask a pony of Salt Lick. She quickly opened the book to a random page and looked for an interesting name to pick. She found a Mr. R. Royce. Who livid at apartment 328 in Mountain View Tower who seemed interesting as both parts of his name began with 'R'. She quickly wrote the name and address down on a peice of scratch paper, just in time for her parents to finish mailing letters and come get her.

Twilight spent the whole night writing on some pieces of scrap paper, until she thought her letter was perfect. In the morning when her parents weren't paying attention she stole a few stamps and an envelope. She addressed it like her parents had shown her, and hoped that four stamps would be enough. She placed her letter in her mailbox and as she wished it good luck, she wondered just how long it would take for her letter to get to Salt Lick.

Three days, two hours, eleven minutes, later. Apartment #328, Mountain View Tower, Salt Lick City, Equestria.

A tall thin white unicorn stallion, with light blue eyes, and a blonde mane, with a bushy beard, named Rolls Royce. He was sitting on his couch, and was dreading what was coming. Not only was it mail day Monday, but his fish Henry had died. This created problems in triplicate, first the lack of Henry created a hole in Rolls Royce's life that could only be filled when he went out and got Henry the fifteenth. Second he now had to decide whether to give Henry the fourteenth a proper funeral down the toilet, or to get prepared to go outside to get the mail. Finally he had lost his nose plugs, which would make going outside very difficult.

Rolls Royce rocked himself as he felt the oncoming panic attack. Rocking always helped calm him down, it worked best when he was in a corner, where he could thump his head against a wall a bit if the source of his anxiety was himself. Rolls Royce calmed himself down and decided to take care of Henry first.

He carried the small fish bowl with dead Henry and poured all of the bowl's contents down the toilet as he flushed. Suddenly he felt somthing, a twing in his chest. Like he had been pinched in the heart, but with sadness. Royce rushed to the bathroom mirror and squeezed his eyes shut, but it was to no avail. He had not cried when his parents had died days apart, he had not cried when his brother had died, he had not cried when Henry the first through the fourteenth had died, and he certainly was not going to cry today. He sighed and opened up the medicine cabinet where he grabbed his daily doses of medication in his magic. 40 mg of Adderal to help him focus, and 40 mg of a anti-anxiety medication he couldn't pronounce. He walked back to his kitchen, and poured himself a glass of chocolate milk. In a blink of an eye he placed the pills into his mouth and washed them down with the chocolate milk. RollsRoyce had no friends, no job, and rarely smiled. However despite the fact that he lived in a single room apartment, slept in a small bed, had two broken televisions, had a small fridge, and an air-conditioning unit that sounded like a creature made of hammers had been angered, he was content.

Rolls Royce sighed and grabbed a hoodie, a pair of sweat pants, and his ear plugs. As soon as he was dressed he buried his nose into his sweatshirt and walked outside his apartment. To him the world was too loud, smelled far too toxic, and was filled with crazy ponies. He stepped into his apartment's elevator and counted down from thirty two. As soon as he hit zero the elevator doors opened leading out to the lobby. And the dreaded twenty steps between the front door and the mailboxes. As soon as he opened the front door he was bombarded by the smells of smoke and toxic exhaust that every major city is filled with. He gaged and swore he felt his asthma start to affect him. He quickly walked over to his mail box, trying to not draw attention to himself, and hoped he wouldn't run into any unsightly characters while he was out. Quick as a flash he grabbed his mail and ran back to his apartment.

After a few minutes of rest to let his lungs calm down he got to work on his mail, sorting out the junk mail to be shredded, and bills. That is until he found a letter that fitted into neither category. It was a plain white envelope with a return address in Canterlot. At first he thought it was a mistake, but it was clearly marked to him. Curious as to what could possibly have been sent to him, he opened the envelope, and read the letter within.

Dear Mr. R. Royce,

My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I am a filly living in Canterlot. I found out about Salt Lick City today and I have some questions about it. I decided to ask you since your name sounded funny. Why is it so strange? Is it true that ponies in Salt lick pray to Nightmare moon, and that they have goat horns and eat foals? Where do foals come from where you live, do they come from the daddy's belly? Where I come from they come from a mommy's belly when a mom and a dad love each other very much.

Please respond as soon as possible,

Sincerely,

Twilight Sparkle

P.S do you know any spells that can keep me from catching on fire?

P.S.S Have you ever had trouble controlling your magic?

P.S.S.S Can you use magic?

He lasted a grand total of thirty seconds before he was off in his favorite corner rocking on his flank. Something new had just come into his life and disturbed the order he was used to. New things were rarely ever good, and he had learned that the hard way. He didn't know how to respond to the little filly. He didn't know if he wanted to respond to the filly. He just knew that he was going to need lots of chocolate covered cheese cubes.