He isn't Gone

by IwuvWoona

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 2256

A young mare in mourning realizes her greatest friend didn't abandon her.

My name is Derpy "Ditzy" Do. All I ever wanted when I was little was a normal life.

After the arrival of a certain stallion, I found out I couldn't exactly have that.

But what would you rather have, a normal life, or a marriage to a stallion that could take you anywhere in the universe?

I'm just a mother now.

Sure, my daughter may be an immortal alicorn princess. And my son is half time lord, but I'm a mother all the same.

I thought for a while that I'd never see him, never hear from him, ever again.

I haven't realized I already had.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-22 01:10:01 UTC

My Doctor (Exposition only)

Some leave.

Some die.

Some...forget...

No one stays with the Doctor forever...

Maybe that's why Dinky didn't go with him, even though she had all of eternity to spend by his side.

I've lived a filling life. Became the primary element of harmony, was enslaved and kept as a trophy in another timeline, fell in love with a Timelord. Heh, me and Dinky even mediated a peace with changelings and ponies.

The best thing I've done is be the Doctor's companion.

I still keep in touch with the others, even though my Dinky is powerful enough to use all the elements on her own. It's good, we're kinda missing our kindness.

I miss him, he had to go. He didn't want to, but he had no other choice. We all told him it was okay, and he promised to come back.

But it wasn't okay, and he hasn't come back.

Ditzy sighed. Dinky was somewhere in Canterlot, Carrot Top was at a family reunion, Sparky at college, and her son fast asleep.

It'd been a year since the Doctor left. He still hadn't come back.

On her bed, the mare couldn't sleep.

"I'm still waiting...where are you?"

Just as her eyes fluttered shut, Ditzy heard something rattling around in the attic. Moaning, she groggily flew out of her room, finding the attic ladder pulled down and the nursery door room.

"I really don't understand how he keeps doing that..."

The mare climbed the steps, finding a colt sitting in a clean, square area. A fez on his head and a bow tie in his mouth. Both were stolen from an open box.

"I really don't understand how you do that!" She groaned, exasperated.

She took the tie from his mouth and the fez from his head. He whined, but relented to the much larger mare.

"Do you have something to say, mister?"

Silence.

"Oh come on, I was talking at your age, your sister was talking at your age, why won't you say anything?"

"Ba."

"I hate you..."

She placed the items back into the box, lifted the lid, then stopped.

My Thingies! was sloppily written in yellow crayon.

"Hey, this is from when I was a filly."

She looked through it, various photos, old drawings, and a tattered, yellow doll lay within, a note within proclaimed "this box belons to Derpy, no peeking exept dady". "This is my old keepsake box. I made it when I was still with your darned grandmother. A stallion found it out on the the street. Luckily, he was friends with Golden Harvest, and he gave it back to me. I can't believe I still have it..."

She took another look at the two odd pieces of clothing. "Wait a minute."

When it hit her, it her hard.

Tears streamed down Ditzy's eyes.

The mare picked up her son, placing the fez back on his head. "You're just like you're father, aren't you?  I guess we knew that, but I didn't think you'd start ending up in the wrong place at the right time until you were older."

She picked up the bow tie, and fastened it to herself. "I'm so stupid. All these years, and I never realized it. Guess I was pretty small, and he was so different."

She glanced at the colt.

"I wonder if you'll remember this...Guess it needs to be relayed. It's how he trusted you. I'll tell you again when you're older, if need be."

She leaned in, whispering two words in her colt's ear. "That makes us special, we're the only two ponies in the world that know his name. Not even the other elements know, or your biggest sister."

"Daddy." He said.

Ditzy beamed. "That's right."

He tapped her muzzle. "Mama."

"Good job. Come on, we need to go to bed.

The Last Chapter

Last night was scary, I didn't like it.

My tummy was hurting and so was my everything. Hurting hurting.

Daddy was there and he was crying because he didn't like me hurting.

I couldn't see him well but I felt him there so it was okay.

Now I'm awake. I still feel sickish but now there's no hurting and I can see daddy.

He asks me how I am and I say good. He says he loves me and hugs me and makes my neck wet because he's crying still. Is he hurting? Do daddys hurt?

I big stallion comes in. He tells dad I'm okay and he cries again.

The stallions a doctor. He tells me a bunch of stuff.  He tells me I ate something bad and he made me better. He also asks me questions I can't answer. Mommy comes in and tells him about sinks and bottles and he nods. I want to tell him the muffins made me feel bad but mommy tells me to hush. I do.

The doctor tells me and Daddy that I need to stay here for a lot of days. He calls his work on a phone. When he's done he tells me that he'll stay with me. But mommy leaves.

Daddy leaves after a while and comes back with Miss Sweetie.

"Here, Honey. I know you get sad when you don't have her. My boss let me use my vacation days to stay here with you. You're gonna be okay."

I nod and we hug.

The place (daddy calls it a "hospital") gives me food. It's all soup-y and tastes a bit like yuck but they say I can't eat heavy things because "it'll be hard on my body".

The sun begins to set after a while. I've been having fun! There are other foals there and they're all nice to me because they know how I feel. I get to play all day with foals and daddy. I miss Mommy but daddy says she's busy so I understand.

Now I have to go back to the white bed. It isn't as comfy as my home bed, but daddy says we have to stay even overnight.

He sleeps on a couch. I can't sleep. Even though Miss Sweetie is with me. I wanna go home. Mommy can make muffins. Purple muffins that taste good and make me feel good and I can help. And daddy will teach me about the alphabet and numbers and colors. Like a normal good day.

Mostly I just want my bed though...

It's a long time and I still can't sleep.

I take Miss Sweetie and we go up to the windowsill and look at the stars. There's no moon but daddy says that happens sometimes so I'm not scared. I like the moon. the craters look like a mare. Miss Sweetie likes them too.

There's a big noise and it hurts my ears. Daddy doesn't wake up. In the sky, a shooting star appears! I make a wish for Mommy to come and be with me and daddy.

The shooting star gets bigger and a blue box appears. It isn't a star! I watch it and it crashes. It makes me feel funny. I want to know what it is and I'm scared and excited.

Daddy isn't awake so I grab Miss Sweetie because she wants to see too and we leave the room.

The doctors are everywhere and so are big scary ponies but I make my way by them. I learned how to sneak when I wanted to get a drink  of water at night when mommy didn't want me up. It's harder but no one sees me.

When I'm out of the hospital I go to where the star landed. I run even though running makes me feel sickish. I wanna see! I wanna see!

I'm disappointed I expected a rock. I got an old blue telephone box that made a teensy crater.

I trot around it and look for cool things but there's nothing.

"Hello?" I say. Who got it in the sky?

The doors open. Smoke comes out and I hide behind a bush.

A unicorn with fluffy fuzzy hair comes out coughing. Then an earth pony with a fez and a brown suit comes out.

"Out! Out! Don't need to smoke to die. Get out! Ugh, forgot how smoky this thing gets when we land here!"

The mare makes an angry face. "I don't even know where we are! And you still haven't answered why we're horses!"

She's a silly mare. Horses are bigger and they live in a desert.

"Well, technically, you're a unicorn and I'm a pony..."

Thank you!

"I don't care what we are, but I don't want to be like this. First that dinky pegacorn thing, and now here? Where even are we?"

They yell at each other. Like mommy and daddy do. I get out of my hiding spot and try to go in the box, which is bigger than it looks. The stallion grabs me the tail.

"Whup! Ditzy, don't go in there. Bad smoke. Don't breathe the bad, bad smoke. Bad, deadly smoke!"

I fight. He's a stranger and daddy says strangers are bad. He doesn't let go and I'm scared because I know he's gonna hurt me.

The mare looks at me and she looks surprised and happy. "So that's her? You marry her before me?"

"Yep," the stallion says through his teeth. I don't marry him. I don't like him. I wanna go back to the hospital and back to daddy and my un-comfy bed. "Though, that's later in her life. Nightmare Moon, cyber-ponies, all that."

"And that mare we met was your-"

"First daughter, isn't mine. We have a son, though!"

The mare looks angry and that's how I feel. I'm going to have a daughter and she's gonna be like mommy. But she won't cry and she won't need medicine.

The stallion sets me down and puts his hoof on my shoulder so I don't run. I'm scared and I begin crying.

The mare looks sad but she smiles. She leans down and  wipes away the tears. "Little one, we'll let you go home soon. We aren't bad people, I promise." She looks up at the stallion and I stop crying. "You need to tell her that you're not going to kill her. AND, you need to do what you came here for!"

He nods and turns me to look at him. "What's you're name?" I ask.

"I'm the Doctor, Ditzy!"

"Are you from the hospital? Are you gonna take me back? I'm sorry I left, I was gonna go back, I promise!"

"No, no I'm a different type of doctor. I know you quite well. Better than you think."

I blink a few times and I don't know what to say.

"Alright, Ditzy. Long story short, you're gonna change.. When you think about it, every pony changes, all through our lives. And that’s okay, that’s good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember what you used to be. You can't forget one line of this, not one day. This will be the last time I get to see you. But not the last time you see me. I promise I'll come back, I really do. Just...not like this."

He takes his red hat off and puts it on my head. Its big and I push it out of my eyes. He also gives me his bow.

"Just wait Ditzy, I'll come when you need me. Times bound to get a bit wibbly-wobbly, as you'll find out with that evil shadow-corn. Just wait for me, alright?"

He coughs and smiles. The box stops spewing smoke. "I'm sorry I let you down," he says.

I nod and he goes into his box.

The mare lies down next to me. "He's a silly man, isn't he?" I nod.

"He's a good man, though, remember that, little one. He likes you a lot, I usually have to destroy that fez to get it off him." She pauses. "Would you like to know something? He forgot to tell you."

I nod. The mare leans into my ear and whispers into it. It's a name. "That makes you special, don't you know. You're the only one in this blasted place that knows his name. Don't tell ANYONE. Okay?"

I nod again.

"Well met." She says.

The mare goes in the box. It makes a loud funny noise and disappears.

I run back to the hospital. Then I hide the hat and bow under my bed where daddy won't see.

_______________________________________________________________________

"What are you doing, Ditzy?" Harvest asked me.

Harvest has taught me to use better words. I get to play more, too, because she has a filly named Carrot Top.

She says Mommy and Daddy left me, but she "adopted" me so she could "mother" me.

I look at the hat and tie. I haven't seen the Doctor in a year, but I know he's gonna come back.

"I'm waiting for my Doctor." I tell her.

She focuses on me. "You don't need to see Doctor Canter for another four months, didn't think you liked him that much."

"Not Canter, THE Doctor."

She looks confused.

"He's a different kind of Doctor. He travels with a fluffy mare and he doesn't heal, but he helps. Only I know his name."

"Well, what IS his name?"

"I can't tell you, it's a secret."

"Well...alright." She walks away, she won't know him. She can't get the Doctor.

"I know you'll come back...cause you promised. Ponies always keep their promises. I just need to wait until I need you."