Wings of Change
Grief. It is a natural response to loss, often the loss of someone that is dear to another. A friend, a family member, a pet - grief comes in so many different forms and can effect each individual in so many different ways. Grief is horrendous, and it is difficult, but is the only way to deal with loss.
However, grief is not limited to an individual. Anyone can suffer from it in response to, let's say, an object. A personal item. Something motionless that has meaning to a pony. However, in our dear Scootaloo's case, her grief was much more strenuous. It struck a wound like nothing else in her life, and her grief was much more painful to cope with.
She had started her day with a typical routine; wake up, eat some breakfast, brush her teeth, brush her mane, then leave for school. It was day in, day out, mundane actions that evidently led to nothing interesting at the end of the week. She only looked forward to weekends, when she was able to see her two dearest friends Sweetie Belle and Applebloom. It had been months since the other members of the CMC had gotten their cutie marks - Sweetie Belle had discovered her love for singing and in turn, had gotten a lilac colored bell with a softer lilac colored bow atop it on her flank, and Applebloom had realized her devotion for her family and her creativity in sprucing up the family farm, and had gotten a crisp apple with a colored paint-brush behind it on her flank. Both of the girls had found their calling, but Scootaloo had not. She never knew where she fit in, and she never got the opportunity to find out why. Not one single time.
Her weekends with her friends did keep her sane however, and each meeting often raised her spirits, if only for a day or two.
"We can try somethin' like.. like extreme sports! Y'all like sports, right?" Applebloom exclaimed, flustered that she couldn't think of anything they hadn't already tried to get Scootaloo's cutie mark.
"No we did that last week. Maybe we should try something that's totally different from what Scootaloo does!" Sweetie Belle chimed in, with a little squeak still prominent in her voice. Somehow, she had never really grown out of her sweet little voice.
Scootaloo sighed and slumped onto the floor of their creaky clubhouse. "It's no use, you guys..." The other two fillies softened their looks and peered at the lump of Scootaloo. "I've tried literally everything and so far, not a single stupid thing has worked. It's lame. I'm lame." She covered her face with her hooves.
Sweetie Belle sat next to her, placing a hoof on her back just between her small wings. "You are not, Scootaloo. I know you'll find something that suits you one day. It might be something that's right under your nose... maybe singing?" She smiled, but had a small look of desperation in her eyes. Scootaloo peeked at her, and had tears forming.
"Scoots, please don't cry. Y'all make me cry..." Applebloom rested her head on Scootaloo's hooves, an audible sigh leaving her lips. The three cuddled together, holding Scootaloo as she heaved sobs, over and over for hours.
The week rolled back around and Scootaloo trudged on to school, a clunky stride from her house down a lonely road. Her two best friends didn't go to the same school as her like they had in previous years - she went to a specialty pegasus school that was located outside of Ponyville for ponies who couldn't fly yet. It was mostly for young fillies and colts, but she was considered an exception because she was still unable to fly. The only thing she had in common with the small ponies was the fact they couldn't fly; most of the little ponies had their cutie marks. They just hadn't fully developed their wings, but were evidently well on their way to flying.
Most weeks consisted of Scootaloo getting physical therapy and medications to try further her wing development, but nothing had progressed since she had started treatments 5 years prior. After Scootaloo's parents had passed away, and her relatives had moved to Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash offered for her to stay in a house she kept in Ponyville. She often stayed there with Scootaloo, but once she thought Scoots was old enough, she let her stay there by herself. The two were close, close enough to be considered sisters, and they constantly referred to each other as "big sis" and "lil sis". Rainbow Dash had referred her to the school, and the school had referred her to the therapist to help with her wings. She always went with her, and she was supportive the entire time.
However, one week differed from her usual weeks of therapy. Her doctor had scheduled an appointment, to check if any of the therapy and medication was making a difference. Because Scootaloo was reaching maturity, the doctor was trying new medications and methods to try progress her wing development further before it was definite that her wings could not grow anymore. Rainbow Dash insisted that it was going to be good news, but the pessimism buried deep in Scootaloos mind as every day loomed closer to the appointment. Her 16th birthday was in a few weeks, and she knew in her heart this was it: she was going to receive news that she was never going to be able to fly properly.
"Champ c'mon, you gotta think that this is going to turn out awesome and not be a total flop! You've worked so hard..." Rainbow rested her head lazily on the breakfast table the morning of the appointment. She had a look of defeat in her eyes, but her consistent optimism ended up pushing it out of mind. "I'm gonna give that doc a piece of my mind if he tells us otherwise." She grumbled.
"Mmm." Scootaloo muttered, crunching down on some Hay-O's. A bland cereal, but it gave her energy to do day-to-day tasks. She found it bearable after months of hating it to begin with.
"Don't give me that, I'm tryin' to make you feel better." Rainbow Dash scowled.
Scootaloo peered slowly to her sister, and swallowed the mouthful of food. She went to open her mouth to speak, but the glare on Rainbow Dash's face stopped her.
"Look kid, I don't want to be mean to you. But you have to take this with a grain of salt. Whatever this doc says, we can deal with it. You and me." She placed a hoof on Scoots free hoof and smiled. She quickly withdrew, "I mean, yeah this will be awesome!" She got up and flew to the fridge to grab some juice. Scootaloo knew she struggled showing affection - she guessed RD saw it as weakness.
She sighed and rubbed her eyes. She had so much to say, but had no idea how to say it. No idea in the slightest. Rainbow turned to her after hearing her sigh, and her mood turned downwards after that. She flew back to her sister, and Scoots knew she was attempting a heart to heart.
Scootaloo pushed her food away and took a breath.
"You knew what you wanted to do since you were little. You knew who you were so early on and that has always been so freaking cool to me. You know how much I admire you, because you can fly, you're fast and you're just awesome." Rainbow Dash blushed and turned away momentarily. "But for me, it's never been like that. I can't fly, I have never been able to get too far off the ground and you have no idea how much that stinks. And what's worse is I'm still a blank flank when everyone my age has a cutie mark. I'm a lost loser who has bummer wings and doesn't know what to do with her crappy life." Scootaloo took a breath. "I am prepared for even worse news today because that is all that my life is. A crappy trail of bad news that haunts me." She stood up and stomped away, leaving Rainbow Dash cursed by her words. She stopped and faced RD.
"I'm always gonna appreciate what you do for me but after today, don't baby me. Don't expect things of me because there is nothing to expect of me anymore."
The morning passed and the grey afternoon clouds were formed and placed by the weather ponies. The Summers in Ponyville were too hot and far too dry, so the weather team had decided the dry grass needed a good drenching. A gloomy, humid day.
Scootaloo left school early and made her way to her house just outside the town square. She passed ponies her own age, whom she went to elementary school with - Snips and Snails, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and even Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, among others. She was unseen by her friends as they walked on home, but the two pink and blue ponies who tortured her and her friends most of their filly lives didn't seem to pass Scootaloo by. They had caught a glimpse of the bright orange pony with filly wings in front of them, and made a beeline towards the helpless pony.
"Hey Tiara look who it is, Scoota-LAME!" The bullies laughed in unison, their high pitched squeals piercing Scootaloo's ears.
"You're right Silver Spoon... a pegasus who can't even fly has to be pretty lame. No wonder her family ditched her and went to Cloudsdale." Diamond Tiara snarked, strutting around Scootaloo. "She even looks like a cripple. I mean look at those lame, little filly wings!"
"Not to mention that blank flank... almost 16 and still no cutie mark!" Their screeching laugher filled the air.
She had never noticed in the past, but both of the over-privileged fillies had progressively become more and more rude as the years went on. They had become near evil, but because of their fathers, they had both never gotten punishment for their actions. She hated how they were. Always had.
"Can I walk past please? I have to go to the doctors." She said calmly.
"Haha! The doctors? What can THEY do for YOU? You're a cripple and a blank flank. No one can help someone like you." Diamond Tiara cackled in her face, whilst Silver Spoon gave her a soft shove. Scootaloo stumbled backwards and glared at Silver Spoon.
"Look Diamond Tiara... she doesn't like it when you push her. If she wasn't so lame, she could just fly away from us," She shoved Scootaloo again. "See? She's a push over." Scootaloo huffed and stood tall.
"Leave me alone." She grumbled; she was getting angry. Extremely pissed off.
"No way Scoota-lame! Not 'til you admit how lame you are, Scoota-lame!" Silver Spoon squealed, her laughter beginning to hurt Scootaloo's ears.
"Come on Scoots... admit it. You're a cripple."
The two both continued to taunt her, and her rage had begun to build more and more as she heard their horrible insults. She was close to retaliating, before she heard a pair of very familiar filly voices.
"Hey! Leave 'er alone, ya stupid bullies!"
"I'm going to call somepony if you don't leave her alone!"
Applebloom and Sweetie Belle came into view from behind the bullies and Scootaloo calmed instantly. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon huffed and left straight away. It had happened a couple of years ago, but Scootaloo's friends had smarted the bullies and ever since, both Tiara and Silver had been terrified of Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. She was grateful for them and their friendship. Always eternally grateful.
"Y'all alright, Scoots? Just ignore 'em. They're nothin' but bullies." Applebloom nuzzled Scootaloo and they walked her towards her house.
Scootaloo said goodbye to her best friends, and entered the doctors clinic hesitantly. The atmosphere made her uneasy and it was always very traumatic being there on her own. Rainbow Dash had promised to be there with her, but since Scoots snapped at her at breakfast, she hadn't seen her all day. She guessed she was working, and put it out of mind. She had to focus on the situation she was in, and she was going to have to calm herself on her own. She approached the desk and talked to the sweet looking receptionist/nurse she knew as Cotton Ball.
"Hi Scootaloo, are you here to see Dr Hart?" Cotton Ball smiled sweetly, and used her magic to pick up some papers from the file behind her.
"Yeah, he called me two days ago and said I had to come in to receive some information on my wings. Am I here on time?" Scootaloo questioned, glancing nervously at the clock to the right of her. It was placed above a set of chairs next to a filly and colt pen, which was occupied by a brown pony. His left wing was broken, but he seemed as bright as ever. Scootaloo winced - she remembered once when she was younger that she broke her right wing trying to fly. An awkward landing leaving an awkward injury.
"Of course, he can see you right after his next patient. If you'll take a seat, he will call you in when he is done." She smiled and gestured towards one of the cream colored chairs to the left.
Scootaloo nodded and faked a smile, slowly making her way to an unoccupied chair. She sat near the play pen, watching the colt as he fumbled with the building blocks. It brought a slight smile to her lips. The mother of the colt peered at Scootaloo and then at her wings, and frowned. She moved closer to the play pen and blocked Scootaloo's view of the colt. She sighed and slumped forward, hoping that Dr Hart would show up soon.
After a 20 minute wait in the cold office, Dr Hart entered the waiting room, escorting out a unicorn with a busted horn. It had cracked from the tip right to the base, and was covered in what seemed to be a clear glue. The pony looked optimistic, even though Scootaloo could see that the poor mare was in obvious pain. She remembered when Twilight was cursed and was unable to use her horn - she couldn't imagine how hard it would be not to use something so crucial. A moment of realization hit her and she glanced towards her own, useless wings. She sighed.
"Scootaloo?" A deep, soothing doctors voice bellowed through the room. Scootaloo jumped out of her gloomy daze and towards the doctor. He was a tall unicorn stallion with beaming blue eyes, a lush brown mane curled backwards with gel, and a very soft white coat. He wore rimmed glasses atop his nose, and he wore a doctors jacket with a stethoscope around his neck. He had an expensive watch on left hoof, it seemed as if it was made of pure gold and diamond.
Scootaloo nodded and stood up to follow the doctor. He made small talk, asking how her friends were and how Rainbow Dashs wing was. He mentioned this every single time she visited him - it was years since RD broke her wing but apparently it was still relevant news. He wasn't even the doctor who treated her. She shrugged it and answered politely.
They reached his office and he gingerly shut the door with a soft click. He motioned towards the empty chair in front of his desk, and used his magic to pick up a file that Cotton Ball had handed to him before they walked in. He sat himself down as Scootaloo sat, and he flicked through the file to get out some information.
"So I called you here to talk to you about the treatment you've been receiving." Scootaloo nodded and leaned forward in the leather chair. It was cushioned adequately, she felt very at ease despite feeling like a nervous wreck in the waiting room. He smiled and took a look at the file.
"Over the past few years we noticed some improvement in your wing structure. It seems the muscles in your wings have gradually gotten stronger, but they haven't been showing enough progression that may allow them to lift your body weight. If you were still a filly, I do believe you would be able to fly a greater distance, but you would still have difficulties to begin with." He skimmed the file over again. "However, as of right now, your wings are roughly 45% under-developed and as you are reaching body maturity, we don't know if your wings will ever reach a level where they will be able to lift you."
"After you left your last appointment, I had my nurses go into your file and look for some results from when you were a filly." Scootaloo nodded. "We may have found the reasoning behind your slow wing development, and I am surprised we didn't know about this sooner. It seems when you were a filly, your wing muscles were severely damaged from a temporary lack of blood. We had to put your wings into casts so your bones weren't at risk, as your muscles tried to heal themselves. However, this may have damaged your muscles and the nerves in your wings. We've known for quite awhile you've struggled with flight and wing growth, but we didn't know why until now."
Scootaloo's face had nearly turned white, and her heart sank into her stomach. She leaned forward into her hooves and stared at the floor.
"I'm sorry, Scootaloo, but your body cannot develop your wings any further from that accident. The damage was too severe to heal properly, and unless a miracle happens, I'm afraid you will never fly."
Scootaloo's mind fell into oblivion.
Grief comes in all forms, and for her, it was the loss of her wings.
END OF CHAPTER ONE
