The Prince of Heart Stole the Thief's Breath!

by CherriDynamite

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Romance, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 1284

A DirkDash story for the simple reason of because I can.

What happens when you have Dirk Strider and Rainbow Dash in the same room? Well…

(LINK TO STORY ON AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2570351)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-05 16:39:03 UTC

The ONLY Chapter

"Right... THERE!!!!"

I was just pointing to a blank wall in an alleyway of Ponyville, obviously disgusted by the whiteness of it. Dirk was with me, but he seemed uninterested in what I was saying.

"WELL?!?!", I yell, frantically pointing at the wall.

Dirk snapped his head up. "Huh? Oh, right. That wall... What about it?"

"THERE SHOULD BE A MURAL HERE!!! MADE BY ME!!!! But shouldn't I ASK THE MAYOR FOR PERMISSION TO PAINT ONE HERE?!?!?!"

Dirk just stared. Even though he was wearing his trademark pointy anime shades, I could tell that he was giving me the narrow eye.

"Hm... Maybe, Crafty.", he said, shooting me a sly look.

"Pfff. Stop it, Timeaus."

Ever since Dirk and I became moirails, we came up with names we gave our own pony forms. He named himself Timeaus Otaku and I named myself Crafty Fan.

I just sat on the pavement, brung out my favorite pencil and my scetchpad (Because I bring those around with me EVERYWHERE.) and started drawing up an idea for the mural. The mural depicted Twilight's magical adventure to learn what friendship really means, with villains like Nightmare Moon, Discord, Queen Chrisalis, and King Sombra. When I had finished burning pencil lead and eraser, I let out a big heap of breath like I had just run 1 mile without stopping.

"HEY!!!! NICE SCETCH!!!!", a familiar voice yelled behind me. Me, being the true spaz that I am, stumbled back yelling a strained, "Thank you!!".

It was obviously Rainbow Dash. What a surprise... (*cough* not really.)

Rainbow Dash giggled a little. She sorta enjoyed making me jump once in a while. "Heh, still jumpy as ever, Rylee?"

"Rainbow!", I say, faking a laugh.

"No, seriously, nice scetch. What's it for?", she said, swooping down to get a closer peek.

"A mural. Twilight's adventure. Not that Dirk seems to care..." (*Shoots a sly look back at Dirk.*)

"Hey!", Dirk says, collecting his thoughts, "I care!"

"Not enough to consider bringing this mural to life.", I explain, flailing my arms about, "I was expecting more of a 'Good thinking Ry-' I mean, 'Good thinking, Crafty! Let's go ask Mayor Mare what she thinks!!'."

Dirk crosses his arms and shoots me the evil eye. Dammit, I'm pissing him off!! Change subject, Rylee, change subject!!

"So, Dashie, what's going on with you?", I akwardly say, seriously desprerate to change subjects.

"Eh, nothing much. Just heading home.", Dash says, "Gonna rest up, re-read a Daring Do book... Oh, and I finally snagged a pitcher of AJ's apple cider!"

"Diiiiiiiid I hear you correctly??? You said APPLE CIDER?!?!"

I liked apple cider as much as Rainbow did. Every time she mentioned getting some, I was like Pinkie and sugary sweets, bouncing around yelling in my head, "CAN I COME?!?!" repeatedly.

"Yeah! You wanna come over?", Dash asked, knowing that I'd say yes.

"OBVIOUSLY!!", I excitedly yell, "Dirk, let's get out of this dumpy alley and go get some APPLE CIDER!!!"

While Rainbow rushed off through the clouds, I grabbed Dirk's arm and pulled him along. He sort of resisted a little, but he started walking after realizing I could only pull so long.

~Weak Transition Time Skip~

After some long time having Twilight teach Dirk a Walk-On-Clouds-So-You-Can-Hang-With-Your-Pegisi-Friends spell, off went Dirk and I to Rainbow's place!

Rainbow greeted us at the door, holding a mug of cider. I did a hop, skip, and jump over to a table with a pitcher of cider and mugs surrounding it. AWWWW YES.

As I joyfully grabbed a mug and filled it to the brim (I tend to go overboard with things I like.), I stare at Dirk, then say, "Want some?"

He just gives me a nod, a no nod. Your loss, I think while taking a sip.

Dirk turns to Dash and he says, "Dash, can I speak to you for a second?"

"Uh, sure!"

They both walk out of the kitchen, disappearing behind the wall.

I just stand there, mug in hand, thinking, Why does Dirk want to talk to her all of a sudden?

I just shrug, pull up a chair and relax with the mug in my hand.

Who even cares?? I have my APPLE CIDER!!!!

(*takes sip of cider*)

~Time Skip~

Dammit, I have to pee!!!!

I spring up from Rainbow's chair and try to find the bathroom. I'm not very fermiliar with Dash's home, you know.

Then I found the bathroom, which was next to Rainbow's room. FINALLY!!!!, I thought, relieved that I can get to relieve myself. But just as I was going to go in, I swear I heard Rainbow ... groaning.

The door was open, so I just walked right into her room.

"Hey, Rainbow, I- HOLY CRAP, WHAT THE HELL, DIRK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!"

Hoo boy, what a sight to see. Dirk was on top of Rainbow, with a blanket covering them, and he had his lips on hers. HOLY CRAP.

All I could do was back out of the room, whispering, "I'm sorry..."

I closed Rainbow's door and rushed back to the bathroom to pee AND comprehend what I just saw.

~Another Weak Time Skip~

Rainbow Dash and I met up at Sugarcube Corner for lunch. I had to get something straight. What happened last afternoon??

I just cross my legs (Uh, hooves...) and nonchalantly say, "So, Dash, what's going on with you and Dirk?"

Dash sort of gave me the 'Have you lost your mind??' stare, but she rubbed her hooves together and started to explain.

"I-It wasn't my idea, he started it."

"No, it was the same way with Jake! The guy who lives with Applejack!"

"Wait, he's-"

"I'd rather think of Dirk as bi, ok?!"

"Well, still, why would Dirk want to kiss me??"

(*Takes sip of drink*) "He actually had his eyes on you ever since he landed here. I guess he was trying to cover it up... But when Roxy made him take a shot, MAN did he spill! He said you made his heart beat!"

"... Really?"

"Well, his exact words were 'Make my kokoro go doki doki', but I get that because he was DRUNK!"

Rainbow put a hoof up to her cheek, blushing. He... Likes me?, she thought.

"W-Well...", Dashie paused, "Maybe I could..."

"Uh-huh?" I found myself leaning in. Jeez, I guess Nepeta's shipper side had rubbed off off on me, because apparently DirkDash (As I call it.) is suddenly gonna pop up as a valid relationship. Oh my Celestia, is this my new OTP?!?!

"... I-I could ask him out on a date?"

"YES!!! DO IT!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!"

Ok. I guess I had gone a little too far. I had flown up a little too fast, knocking the chair I was sitting in down, spinning around in circles with my hands (Hooves, darn it!) in the air. I sorta came to my senses when I just flew back down and pulled the chair back up to the table Dash and I were sitting at.

"(*coughs*) Sorry.", I say, embarrassed.

"Eh, it's ok! You do that all the time."

I quickly finish my drink and say, "Well, I'm off!"

"This early??"

"Yeah. Pinkie's been bugging me about baking more cakes with Cupcake and Jane. I bet she's bouncing around, yelling, 'Where's Rylee?? Where could she be?! Oh, RYLEE!!!!'!"

"Heh! Yeah... Well, I hope you have fun with that."

As I got out, pushed my chair in, and trotted off, I winked at Rainbow and said, "Good luck! And if he says yes... Have fun tonight."

That left Rainbow blushing hard.

That'll do it., I thought, That's Dirk for you. Always gets on your mind...