Equestrian Biologyby kingfishChaptersChapter 1: Pinkie and the Brett (Pinkie Pie)Chapter 2: Blonde Joke (Ditzy Doo)Colts Will Be Colts (Braeburn)Chapter 1: Pinkie and the Brett (Pinkie Pie)Brett Matheson sat on the train to Ponyville, thinking about the events of his day. He had come through the portal to Equestria for his study abroad program, and already he was noticing how different it was from America, or really any country on Earth. The inhabitants were über-friendly, almost to the point of nausea; the weather was on a freaking schedule; and, of course, there were colorful talking ponies everywhere. He supposed he would get used to it, though. Once he had organized everything, he ran off to the train station, eager to start a new life in Ponyville. The site of almost every major event in Equestria in recent years, Ponyville was a hotspot for human tourists. He set his elbow down and put his head in his hand, leaning against the half-open window. His thick brown hair whipped in the wind, and his striking green eyes surveyed the equally striking landscape shooting past the train. He looked in the distance and saw a bridge over a sapphire-blue river, and the highest rooftops of Ponyville poking over a hill. By the time he stepped off the train in Ponyville, it was already 7:00. He had to hurry to get everything situated if he wanted to get to bed at a decent time. He hauled his overly laden suitcase behind him like a bag of rocks and walked quickly down the road. He managed to get almost all the way to the inn before he was greeted loudly by a certain pink mare. Naturally, he had heard tell of the infamous Pinkie Pie, since she and her five friends were kind of minor celebrities on Earth, being the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony and all. But nothing he had been told could prepare him for his first meeting. "Hi!" She jumped out from behind a bush, causing Brett to yelp and almost lose control of his bodily functions. She landed directly in front of Brett, ready to blast out a reply, but something stopped her. She looked at him curiously, turning her head as if trying to understand a piece of abstract art. Eventually, Brett raised a hand. "Uh, hello," he said nervously. "I'm Brett." There was suddenly a loud gasp accompanied by Pinkie levitating up off the ground then darting away, leaving a small pony-shaped cloud that quickly faded away. "Don't worry," said a purple mare from her window who was watering her plants. "She does that. Although for the next day or two, you should be extra-careful walking into unlit rooms." Brett brushed it off and hurried on to the inn. *** After paying the stallion at the register what seemed like a large sum of bits, Brett walked toward his room, already exhausted. As he was opening the door, he thought about how much smaller the doors were in Equestria. He had already hit his head about ten times by now. Ow! Scratch that; eleven times. That would take some getting used to. He plopped down on the bed rubbing his head. After a moment of peaceful respite, he got up and zipped open his suitcase. He took out a towel, his toothbrush and comb, and finally his shampoo and soap. He made sure to shut the blinds, then stripped down as he made his way over to the bathroom. He opened the door and was suddenly assaulted with confetti and noisemakers. "Surprise!" "AAGH!!" Brett fell backward and landed painfully on his rear end, while a widely grinning Pinkie Pie poked her head out of the bathroom and deep into Brett's personal space. "Hiya, Brett! How do you like your surprise party?" Brett looked around and noticed that the bathroom had been decorated with colorful streamers and banners saying, "Welcome to Ponyville!" "Wha...?" Brett tried, but he was unable to articulate the plethora of thoughts swirling around his head; thoughts like, Where did she come from? How did she know I'd be staying in this room? How did she know I'd immediately walk into the bathroom? How did she set up so fast? Did she realize how cute it was when she swished her tail? Wait. What? Pinkie's smile seemed to falter after a moment when she got no intelligible response. "Do you like it?" she asked, her voice wavering ever so slightly. "Uh, well," started Brett, managing to regain his ability to speak, "I didn't expect it." Pinkie's smile regained its previous bright-and-cheery quality and she giggled. "Oh, that was the point, silly! It's a surprise party!" "Where are all the guests?" "Weeellllll," said Pinkie, drawing out the word quite a bit, "I wanted to greet you as soon as possible so I didn't have any time! I heard you were heading toward the inn so I ran to the party store and got a whole bunch of streamers and then I found my generic 'Welcome to Ponyville' banner and then I ran to the inn and told the cashier to give you this room when you get here and then I ran really fast upstairs and squeezed in under the door and set up the stuff in here and waited for you to come in and then you did and I said 'Surprise!'" Brett had a myriad of questions, each more puzzling than the last, but one in particular came to his lips. "How did you squeeze under the door?" "You'd be surprised what a bottle of AstroGlide can do!" She produced a king-size bottle of the well-known lubricant from seemingly nowhere and held it up for Brett to see. "They say you can use it to get a Cadillac in a doghouse. I don't know how big that is, but it sure can get a Pinkie under a door!" The bottle of lube made Brett think of certain actions not appropriate for minors, which made him realize quite suddenly that he was butt-naked. He quickly curled up into the fetal position in an attempt to hide his genitals which were, oddly enough, reacting to their exposure in a way that he would definitely not prefer. "Whatcha doin' that for?" asked the pink pony. "Well," said Brett with a blush, "uh, humans are a bit more sensitive about clothing than ponies are." "Oh, yeah! I've heard about that! Humans wear clothes all the time. But why would you wear clothes every day? They're so uncomfortable and everyone knows what's under them, so why waste the money?" "That's a good question," said Brett. "We really enjoy being stylish. Now please leave." "Aww, but why? I wanna make you feel good!" "Pardon?" Is she actually— "Yeah, I like to make everypony feel good! Like laugh, and sing, and play, and smile! ♫My name is Pinkie Pie♫—" "Hello? I'm still here, and I'm still naked." "Oh, yeah!" She giggled again. God, that was cute. "Well," she said, "aren't you going to open your present?" Does she mean her— "What?" Brett interrupted himself before he could finish his thought. He looked down and saw that she had suddenly produced a small wrapped box with a bow. "Why did you get me a present?" Pinkie reached another steep drop on her emotional roller coaster. "Do you not want a present? Or do you not want one from me? Is it my energy? I've heard a lot of ponies don't like my energy but it's just how I try to cheer ponies up but you're not a pony you're a human so I don't know what you like and I don't know what to do!" Pinkie threw herself onto Brett, leaving him with no choice but to throw his arms up out of the way. Slowly, his arms lowered and gradually wrapped around the mare's frame. He suddenly felt something between his legs and realized that his erect penis was poking into Pinkie's belly. His eyes widened and he tried to move the organ out of the way, but he was stopped by a high voice. "Ooh, what's that?" Pinkie leaned away and looked between Brett's legs in fascination. "Is that what a human thingie looks like? It looks weird." "'Thingie?'" said Brett in indignation. "Yeah, a thingie. You know, the baby maker, the bald-headed yogurt slinger, the cream cannon, the lance of love, the meat flute, the jimmer-jammer, the flapadoodle, the mayonnaise revolver—" "Please stop that!" Brett interrupted. "I wonder if it tastes the same." "Wait, what are you-uuoohhhh." Brett let out an involuntary moan as the pink pony took his dick into her mouth before he could stop her. She wrapped her lips around the tip and immediately slid down to the base, then she moved her head back up with her tongue pressed to the underside of the shaft and popped it out of her mouth. She smacked her lips and considered for a moment. "Hmmm. Musty and masculine, with a slight salty aftertaste. Texture is similar. More musky than a stallion, but not as salty." "Wow," said Brett. "Uh, you seem like a connoisseur." Pinkie shrugged and grinned. "I try." "You know you just licked my dick without asking me, right?" Pinkie's grin seemed to grow devious. "Did you like it?" "Uh—Well—That's not the point!" "Oh, I think it i~is!" she said in a singsong voice. "You want some more?" "I don't think that's such a... good... Oohhh." Pinkie grabbed the tip of his penis in her lips and sucked on it like a lollipop. She twirled her tongue around the circumference of the shaft, playing with it like a candy in her mouth. "Mmmm," she moaned as she sucked him off, as if she were eating a particularly delicious pastry. Brett finally decided that maybe this was not so bad after all. This was what he had come for anyway. She bobbed her head up and down the shaft, eyes still wide, taking in a continuous stream of information. She looked up at Brett to see how he was enjoying himself, and he felt a shiver of pleasure go through his body when they made eye contact. She moved her head left and right and moaned quietly, combining into a maelstrom of pleasurable sensations consistently pushing him forward. All the while she kept eye contact with Brett, not even blinking for an almost frighteningly long time. Brett put his hand on the back of Pinkie's head and gripped her fluffy mane, noting that it felt suspiciously like cotton candy. He pushed her a bit faster and a bit harder, but Pinkie wouldn't have the human take away her responsibility to give him pleasure. She popped his dick out quite a bit earlier than he would have liked, but he could already feel his orgasm starting to build momentum. This mare was good! She turned around and bent down, showing off her lower lips, which were full with arousal and somehow even more pink than the rest of her. The lips curved around the entrance of her vagina in a teardrop-like shape, and her clitoris flexed and stuck out of her entrance, parting the slightly wrinkled skin like a little tongue, taunting him. "What do you think, human? You like my pussy?" The words sounded like they would have normally been sultry and sexy, but Pinkie was far too naturally chipper for them to come out as anything other than cheerful-bordering-on-insanity. Holy shit, that's hot, he thought as he stared at her pussy and began to hyperventilate a bit. I may never look at humans again. "You, me, bed, now," he said aloud. Pinkie giggled and got up out of her stance. She bounced over to the bed like a pogo stick, and when she got over there she bounced extra high and did a cannonball onto the bed. She bounced on the mattress once before settling on her back and grinning at Brett over the top of her swollen vulva. Brett walked over and eagerly hopped onto the bed, leaning over Pinkie. He looked at her sultrily, and she looked back with... joy? Or lust? It was so difficult to distinguish this pony's emotions; they all utilized the same cheerful grin. He was just positioning himself when, quite suddenly, Brett realized something he had never considered before. "Wait. Do I need a condom?" "Why?" asked Pinkie with what appeared to be genuine confusion. "Weellll, I guess you don't 'cause you're a human and I'm a pony so I can't get pregnant or anything or at least I don't think I can and I know you can't or maybe you can you're from another dimension so I don't know how you work but I know I probably can't get pregnant unless there's some magical spell that would do that—" "Can we just shut up and fuck?" "Oh yeah!" She giggled again, and Brett decided to err on the side of pleasure. He placed his hands on the bed to Pinkie's sides and he moved forward and rubbed his dick against Pinkie's lower lips. The heat from her nethers sent tremors through his body as they touched. He groaned as he ground himself slowly against her. He pressed into her harder and the pressure on his member produced even more pleasure. "Ohh, that feels good." "Yeah, I really like that! But I kinda like stuff inside me. Not always in the front place but sometimes also in the back place 'cause I just love having woo-hoo!" "Oh my God," mumbled Brett under his breath. "'Woo-hoo?' Really?" "Yeah! You know, the horizontal mambo, the—" "I got it!" said Brett quickly, desperately trying not to tear his hair out. "Right! Don't worry, I get it!" "So, are we gonna do it?" "Yeah, sure, just... stop talking." "Okey dokey lokey!" said the mare, making a zipping motion across her lips. Brett leaned back on his knees and placed one hand on Pinkie's right hind leg. He then used his other hand to line up his member with her entrance. He first used the tip to smear some of her lubrication around the outside, causing the smell to waft up into his nose. The smell was amazing! She smelled sweet, like ambrosia; both the dessert kind and the mythical kind. He thrust forward, burying himself inside her. The warm, wet folds enveloped his shaft, hugging it snugly, and he groaned in pleasure. He pushed in slowly and his balls eventually came to rest against her lips. "That feels really good, Mr. Brett! Different than a stallion, but still pretty good. Not quite as thick as a stallion, but that's okay 'cause it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean!" Brett gave her a glare that could set an elephant on fire at 50 yards. "Oops, sorry," she said and made the zipping motion again. Brett pulled back out of her, feeling a few drops of her arousal coating his balls. He thrust forward harder and Pinkie squealed lightly behind her zipped lips. "Oh," said Brett smugly. "Does that feel good?" "Mm-hmm!" Pinkie mumbled in a tone that sounded much more happy than lustful. God, this mare is weird, thought Brett. He pulled out again slowly, enjoying the feeling of her walls moving over his shaft, then thrust in hard again, producing a smack as he slapped against her. Pinkie squealed again, this time shaking her hooves in the air happily. Brett started thrusting harder and faster, already nearing his limit. He leaned down and laid his face on her chest, kissing it and nibbling on the fur. Pinkie took notice of this. "Hmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-hmm-mm-mm?" she mumbled. "What?" said Brett, lifting his head to look at her. She made an unzipping motion and then spoke. "Why are you sucking on my chest?" she asked. Brett got the familiar and distinct feeling that he had done something wrong. "Uh, your nipples?" She chuckled. "Oh silly, my nipples are down there!" She pointed with her hoof to a point just above her mound and for the first time, Brett noticed her teats, which were slightly swollen by her arousal. "Oh. Forgot about those." "Obviously!" she said with another light chuckle. He reached down and rubbed one of her teats with a hand as he thrust in and out, using his other hand to hold up her hind leg for leverage. He swirled his fingers around the areola and gently squeezed the whole teat itself, kneading it like dough. "Oo-oo-ooh, that feels good," said Pinkie more softly. As her head fell to the side, her tongue lolled out of her mouth and leaked a bit of drool onto the bed. Brett took this as a compliment and moved faster, pushing himself closer and closer. "Ooh, yeah, do me," said Pinkie. "Do me hard." Brett obliged, thrusting faster and faster until finally, he gave a final hard thrust and came, shooting a huge load of cum inside her. It shot out of his dick and deep into her body, filling her up and coating her passage with white sticky goodness. He stayed there for a moment before collapsing on his back next to her. He laid there panting, basking in the afterglow and thinking about how awesome his first day had turned out. He wondered how he had ever managed to get to where he was at that moment. People back home had always thought he was weird, and they were probably right. He had always been the sexually adventurous type, so to speak. A few months after the portal had been opened to the public, Brett had happened across porn that had supposedly been leaked from Equestria; ponies in all manner of positions and situations. And it had been hot. As. Fuck. Both the mares and the stallions had caught his eye, and both were more attractive to Brett than their human counterparts. The mares looked tighter and the stallions looked bigger—even accounting for size differences—and he knew he wanted them. He had been trying to find an excuse to take a trip to Equestria ever since. He had tried saving up the money for a vacation, but before he had gathered enough funds, he had discovered that the study-abroad program at his college had included Equestria on the list of countries. He figured he could do a semester in Equestria and possibly slack off occasionally on his studies to try and get lucky. Of course, there was a problem; he would have to find ponies who were interested in having sex with a tall hairless ape from an alternate dimension. Surely, it couldn't be that hard, could it? For God's sake, he had already boinked a celebrity, and he hadn't even been in town a whole day! Admittedly, it was a mare that had basically tackled him and ignored all dissent, and he knew he had broken the "don't stick your dick in crazy" rule big time (albeit through little fault of his own), but it was hot nonetheless. But she hadn't really seemed like a grown mare. Despite some comments that might point to the contrary, she seemed too young and childish to have ever done anything sexual. Brett managed to break himself out of his recollection and slowly turned to her. "Pinkie," he asked slowly, "how many sexual partners have you had?" She sat up and thought for a moment. She made quite a show of counting on her hooves, several extra of which popping out of God knows where as she mumbled under her breath. "Dashie and Soarin'... Carry the one... Eighty-seven," she said eventually, retracting all of the extra hooves. "Holy fuck!" blurted Brett. "You seem so innocent." "Well, a lot of ponies say I have the brain of a foal and the stomach of a dragon. Does that tell you anything?" "Explains a lot, actually," he mumbled. "How do you even have time for that many?" "Well, a lot of the ponies I sleep with are new arrivals or ponies I'm doing parties for. And I never got why everypony made such a big deal about it, saying I was 'giving it away,' or whatever. I mean, why would you not want to have sex? Sex is funneriffic! It's like the greatest party on the planet and you don't even need any decorations! Ask the Princesses; I taught them everything they know." "Wait. Are you saying that you—" He pointed his finger at her in surprise. "—had sex with the Princesses?" "Uh, ye~ah!" She temporarily adopted what sounded like a California Valley Girl accent. "You thought they could go a thousand years without getting any? I'm the latest royal consort!" She put a hoof to her chest with pride, which then turned to horror. "Oh no! I wasn't supposed to tell anypony that! You heard nothing!" She bounced off the bed and leapt out the open window to the street several yards below, instantly disappearing into the night like a pink ninja. "Well," said Brett after a moment. "That just happened." Chapter 2: Blonde Joke (Ditzy Doo)The table Brett sat at was annoyingly wobbly. It did not really affect anything; all he was doing was sitting in Sugarcube Corner trying to pick up dates. But it was still annoying. He knew that Pinkie worked at Sugarcube Corner and he did not want to run into her again, but thankfully she was off that day. The venue was lightly populated by ponies going about their daily business, but it was sparse enough that Brett did not feel overwhelmed. He looked over at a dark pegasus stallion the color of a storm cloud (Thunderlane, he thought he heard his friend say) and put his head in his hand, setting his elbow on the table. When the stallion looked his way, he would wave and give him a sexy smile and wink. Except he was distracted as he felt another wobble. Damn this defective table! When he looked back, the stallion was walking out the door, but a mare was entering past him. She was a gorgeous gray pegasus with a flowing blonde mane hanging down past her shoulders. She had well-toned legs and hips, and he saw a cutie mark that appeared to be a series of bubbles on her rump. She walked up and gave her order to Mrs. Cake, the co-owner of the establishment, and threw her bits onto the counter. She then moved to find a table, turning in Brett's direction. He winced a bit when he saw her eyes. They were going completely different directions; one was looking at the ceiling, the other was looking forward, and they seemed to switch orientations quite frequently. The oddity was further emphasized by the fact that ponies' eyes took up almost half their head. He had never seen such a weird-looking face. Suddenly the mare noticed him and waved. Oh shit! he thought. She knows I was staring at her eyes! The mare trotted over happily and sat down in the seat across from him. "Hi!" she said in a bubbly voice. "How are you? Are you here on vacation?" "Uh, good. I'm actually here studying abroad." Did she really not notice him staring at her eyes? The twin orbs were moving erratically, twirling this way and that. Brett had to exert a conscious effort not to become entranced by their hypnotic motion. "What does that mean?" she asked. "It means I'm going to be living here while I learn." "Oohhh," she said in realization. "Well, I just thought you were a tourist. We get a lot of humans coming through here. And the ones with slanty-looking eyes seem to take a lot of pictures." Brett snorted and tried desperately not to burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" "Nothing, nothing," said Brett after recomposing himself. "There's just a... Never mind." "So what are you studying?" she asked. He was about to answer but he stopped. Her eyes were doing that thing again. This time Brett was caught off guard and found himself staring again. She waved her hoof in front of his face and it broke the spell. "Mister? You okay?" "I'm sorry," he blurted. "For what?" "For staring at your eyes." She suddenly understood and chuckled cutely. "Oh, that's okay. Some ponies make fun of them, but I think it makes me look cute! I'm Ditzy Doo, by the way, but most ponies call me Derpy 'cause of my eyes. What's your name?" "I'm Brett Matheson," he said, and Ditzy extended a hoof. He took it in his hand and shook it in greeting, then they both retracted their respective forelimbs. "So what are you studying?" she asked again. "Biology," he said, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Specifically anatomy." Her eyes lit up and seemingly sparkled, rapidly spinning like pinwheels. "Ooh, cool!" she said excitedly. "I can show you if you want. I'm staying at the inn until I get an apartment." "Can we do it after I eat? I just ordered a blueberry muffin." He leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms. "Yeah, sure." They talked for a while until Mrs. Cake brought out their food. Brett had placed an order for a piece of coffee cake, but had told them to take their time, so it ended up being finished right when Ditzy's muffin was. Mrs. Cake set the two confections on the table, and as she walked away, Brett thought he saw her swaying her hips and looking back at him seductively. Or maybe he was just super horny. After they finished their food, they got up and walked out, passing through the door and out into the sunny afternoon street. They walked casually down the road until they came to the inn not far away from where they started. Brett walked in and Ditzy greeted the stallion at the register, telling Brett he was a friend of hers. They continued up to Brett's room and he unlocked and opened the door, ducking carefully as he walked in. He went over to his desk and showed her each object on the desk in turn. "My studies are specifically focused on how magic affects Equestrian life. This is my microscope that I use for studying blood samples and such, to see how magical forces interact with the tissues and fluids." "How do you do that?" asked Ditzy. "Well, I have a device I special-ordered from Manehattan before I left that can create magical currents. I use it to test the reactions of different substances and tissues to magic. "Wow, cool! But don't you need a unicorn? 'Cause without a unicorn it's just plain magic; it won't really do anything." Brett blinked at this mare's unexpected insight. "Really?" "Yeah! Everypony knows only unicorns can direct magic. And we both know humans can't!" She paused. "You can't, right?" He chuckled. "No. No, we can't. But we make up for our lack of magic by having hands." He raised his arms and flexed the digits of the aforementioned appendages. "Yeah, I've seen Spike use his claws for all kinds of stuff, like picking up stuff and picking stuff out of holes and other stuff! But you can do a lot more stuff than he can 'cause your hands are bigger, so you can pick up bigger stuff!" She paused, looking uncertain. "Did I just say 'stuff' a whole lot?" He nodded and her head sank a bit. "So who's Spike?" he asked. "He doesn't sound like a pony." "Nope," said Ditzy, perking up, "he's a dragon! He's Princess Twilight's Number One Assistant!" "That's weird. How come I've never heard of him?" "Well," said Ditzy, "he says ponies are always forgetting about him. But I never forget about anypony 'cause I'm really smart!" Brett smirked. "Okay, then. If you're so smart, how much do you know about hunan anatomy?" She frowned. "Oh, not much. Just that you have hands and stuff." She put her hoof to her chin in thought. "And I've always wondered what you look like under those clothes you wear all the time." Brett turned and rolled up one of his shirt sleeves to reveal his bicep. "Well first of all, these are what my arms look like." Ditzy's eyes went wide and spun in opposite directions. "Ooh, cool!" He leaned down on his knees and she came closer. She reached out a hoof and gingerly touched it to his skin, feeling the bulging muscles underneath. Her hoof was surprisingly soft against his skin; it felt more like flexible plastic than the keratin it should have been made of. "I work out sometimes," he said with a slightly smug grin, "so my muscles are a bit bigger than most." He flexed his arm and the skin tightened and loosened beneath the gray hoof. "Oooh." Ditzy's eyes were both focused on the arm now, staring at the tiny imperfections in the skin, analyzing each individual hair. "You think that's cool, you should see my chest." Her eyes glanced up and they were briefly both focused on his face before the left one went off on its own. "Can I really?" she asked excitedly. "Sure, hang on a second." He stood up, then walked over and sat on the bed, scooting back a bit so Ditzy would have room. She jumped up as well and took a seat next to him. He reached his arms down, grabbed the bottom of the shirt, and pulled upward, tugging the garment off his body in one smooth motion and throwing it to the side. This revealed the entirety of his torso, which was just as muscular as his arms. He had naturally large pecs and well-sculpted abs, along with a very light covering of chest hair. Ditzy stared for a moment before placing a hoof on his left pec. "It's so smooth," she said in fascination. "Hardly any fur at all." "We really don't call it fur; we call it hair. Same deal with our so-called mane." "Wow!" said Ditzy, smiling like an idiot. "I never knew that!" Her other hoof came up and she started slowly rubbing Brett's chest. "So soft," she said, sounding more than a bit distracted. He laid back on the pillow, giving her more room to venture further. Her hooves wandered to his abs and she leaned in closer, examining it like a scientific specimen. She wandered further down his body until she finally reached his waist, her hooves rubbing over the bulge in his jeans. When she realized where she was, she jerked back and looked as if she had been struck. "I'm sorry!" she said. "I didn't mean to do that! Honest!" Tears began to form at the corners of her eyes. He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder in an effort to comfort her. She flinched, but did not move away. "It's okay. It's no big deal." She sniffled. "Really?" "Yeah, you're alright." "I just... I didn't want to do anything you didn't want to." "Well, that's... actually why I brought you here in the first place." She looked up at him, her wonky eyes focusing for a moment. "Really?" she said again. "Yeah, I thought you knew. You want to?" he asked. After a moment, she nodded vigorously. "Sure!" She moved up and sat on his lap, gazing at him with lust in her large golden eyes. He could feel her hot marehood through the denim of his jeans, and he was getting extremely hard. But he was not quite ready to go further yet. Always leave them wanting more. She leaned in until her muzzle was inches from his face and she could feel his breath on her nose. It smelled pleasant, mostly from the sweet coffee cake he had eaten. He leaned forward and their lips connected. He moaned into her mouth, running his tongue along her lips. His hand moved to her neck and caressed her fur, then he gradually began to move downward. He massaged her shoulders, then moved to her back. Her hoof reached back and grabbed his hand, gently nudging it down toward her rump. He broke the kiss, looking to her for an explanation. "I like it when a guy grabs my butt," she said with a blush. "Well, alright, then." He kissed her again, reaching the other hand to her rump. He gripped it with both hands, kneading her cheeks in his palms. They were quite pleasantly plump, most likely from a steady intake of delicious muffins. She slowly humped him, simultaneously rubbing herself against the rough denim and pushing back repeatedly into his grip. He brushed her tail aside, briefly stroking the silky hair before rubbing his right hand in between her cheeks. He reached down past her anus and brushed against her vulva, his fingers getting instantly drenched in hot female arousal. She moaned lightly into his mouth. "You like that?" asked Brett, brushing a finger against her clitoris and causing her to wink. She squealed quietly, then nodded. "Mm-hmm." He progressed further, rubbing his fingers slowly over her vulva. He extended his middle finger and, lubricated by her juices, slid it gently inside her, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from the mare. He pushed it in, spreading her surprisingly tight walls. They flexed around his finger as she winked her clit, her body trying on its own to draw him in. As he pulled his finger back out, she reached down and grabbed at his jeans, trying to take them off. Unfortunately, her hooves were not dextrous enough to work the zipper, although she did manage to pop the button. Brett reached down and slipped the jeans down. Ditzy was jostled left and right as he tried to remove the clothing. "Hang on a second," he said, and Ditzy wrapped her forelegs around his arm in response. He slipped the pants down to his ankles, revealing a pair of sexy blue briefs with a quite sizable bulge. He turned to his right to see Ditzy still holding his arm. "What are you doing?" "Well, you told me to hold on..." "Well, I meant... Never mind," he eventually said, waving it off. He twisted around, laying down next to her, but she was still holding his arm. "You can let go now," he said with slight amusement. "Oh, sorry." She freed her hooves, and Brett sat up on the edge of the bed. She then jumped down off the bed, sitting her rump on the floor. She moved down to Brett's underwear and slipped her hooves into the space between the skin and the fabric, pulling it gently outward and downward. She pulled until the bulge was just barely contained by the cotton, and she slipped it down a bit further, freeing his cock and allowing it to bob up and down before settling. She leaned forward and looked at it cross-eyed for a moment, then Brett gasped as she closed her eyes and took it gingerly into her mouth. Ditzy sucked on it gently, imagining it was a tasty lollipop. She swirled saliva around it, trying to dissolve the candy, before she remembered what she was really sucking on. She moved her head down the length, taking as much of it into her mouth as she could. But it soon hit the back of her throat and she abruptly pulled back, coughing with tears in her eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea," she rasped. "Hey," said Brett, "is it okay if I try something else? It's nothing too weird, I promise." Ditzy nodded. "Yeah, sure." Brett gestured to the bed. "Get up on here and put your rump in the air," he said gently. "Okay." Ditzy jumped up quickly, eager to see what this new thing was. She positioned herself as she was told. Her rump stuck up into the air like a little gray hill, exposing her anus and marehood. Brett thoroughly licked his thumb, then moved the slathered digit to her anus, beginning to gently rub and work the ring of muscle. "Ooh, that's weird," said Ditzy. "Good-weird or bad-weird?" asked Brett as he continued to slowly knead her hole with his thumb. "I dunno," she said, panting lightly. "Good, I guess?" "You ever tried anal before?" Ditzy shook her head. "Well, let me know if it hurts, okay?" "Okay." Brett pushed with his thumb, and the wet digit easily slid into Ditzy's hole. She let out a quick exhale and he felt her clench around his thumb. "How does that feel?" "It's good-weird now," she said simply. He grinned and pushed his thumb into her up to the ball. He then thrust in and out of her a few times before pulling it out. He sucked on his forefinger and middle finger, then moved back and slid first one, then the other gently into Ditzy Doo. "That feel okay?" "Oh, better than okay!" said Ditzy. Once he had gotten her used to the feeling of having his fingers inside her, he pulled them out and positioned himself behind her. His dick, still well lubed from Ditzy's previous sucking, glistened in the light. He leaned over her back, shifting until his dick was even with her rear entrance. He left his right hand free, using his left to support himself on the bed. "Make sure to tell me if it starts hurting," he said again. Using his right hand to hold his shaft, he positioned the tip of it and pushed forward, slowly parting her walls and sinking inside. He groaned as the tightness became evident, her passage clenching down on his rod. Ditzy did her part as well, moaning as she felt the pressure in her rear. She spread her hind legs and tried to open herself, but she did not know how. Hearing no protests or sounds of pain, Brett moved forward slowly until he finally hilted inside her, and he could feel his balls being smeared with her love juices as she winked. She took her left hoof and started to rub her clit, massaging it gently. Her wings were rock-hard at this point, spread as wide as they could possibly be. The muscles strained against their tendons, stiffened by her arousal. "That feel good?" he asked. "Uh-huh." He slowly pulled out, leaving her feeling empty. Then he thrust in more firmly than the first time, his smooth skin running pleasurably over her puckered ring. He continued to speed up until he found a steady rhythm. He gripped her rump with both hands by the cutie marks and thrust in and out, each time spreading her walls and making her legs wobble at the brand new sensations. He brought a hand up and lightly slapped her rump on the cutie mark, eliciting a quiet squeal. "You like that?" Brett panted. "Yeah," she moaned. "That felt good." So he did it again, bringing his hand down a bit harder. It impacted her cheek with a loud snap, leaving a slightly red spot beneath her gray coat. "You like this cock?" "Yeah, it feels good," said Ditzy unsteadily. Brett could feel the pressure building in his loins and he knew he was getting close to his orgasm. Ditzy was feeling the same, but hers was coming on much more rapidly. He rutted Ditzy harder now, his hips slapping against hers. He rested one hand on her back, massaging her wings with his fingers. This provoked even more moans, and he could tell she was about to cum. "Oh, Celestia," said Ditzy. "It feels so good. I'm gonna... I'm gonna... Anh, yeah!" Her pussy convulsed, sending a short stream of marecum shooting backward which splattered on the carpet. Several more spurts squirted out with less intensity, dribbling down the insides of her thighs. While Ditzy was just coming down from her orgasm, Brett's was still building. He pounded her ass like there was no tomorrow, making her moan in ecstasy. He brought his left hand down and rubbed her vulva, swirling the leftover fluids around with his fingers. Eventually, when he was just on the edge, he pulled out and started jerking off. He worked his cock, pushing himself toward the edge, until he finally tipped over it. With a grunt, he shot his load, splattering it all over Ditzy's rear. The glob shot out of his shaft and landed on the mare's coat, covering it with hot, white cream. When the shots slowed, he squeezed his dick like a tube of toothpaste, drawing out the last drops. He knelt down by the bed, then leaned in and stuck his tongue out, slowly running it over her vulva and moving to her anus. He lifted his head after having licked up a small trail of white spunk from her ass. He went back in and licked up more, this time kissing her pucker and slurping up the jizz. Finally, he stroked her tail and kissed underneath it, licking up the last of his cum from her rear. He got up and sat on the bed, falling onto his back and letting his feet rest on the floor. He turned to Ditzy, who smiled at him. One eye looked at Brett while other looked in the general direction of the window. "That was pretty fun," she said. "Especially when you licked up your stuff." "You liked that?" "Yeah," she said. "Means you don't have to clean up afterwards." "It's getting kind of late," said Brett sleepily, glancing at the setting sun. "I should get to bed soon." He turned around and laid in the bed the way it was designed. He laid his head down on the pillow and almost instantly fell asleep. *** Brett woke up to see the sun shining through the blinds at a low angle indicative of early morning. He heard a sizzling sound and looked to the mini-kitchen to see Ditzy frying something on the stove. Her tongue was sticking out of her mouth in concentration and she looked as if she was just cooking for the first time. Shit, thought Brett, throwing the covers off and getting groggily out of bed. She's gonna burn down the building. He found a clean pair of briefs in his suitcase and slipped them on, then did the same with his jeans. He looked over and saw that Ditzy had taken the pan off the stove and that it was filled with eggs. She turned to place them on a plate and finally noticed him. "Oh!" she said around the handle in her mouth. "Well, good 'orning, slee'yhead!" He groaned quietly, putting his head in his hands. "You're still here?" She put the eggs on the plate and set the pan down on the counter. "Uh-huh. I woke up early so I thought I'd make breakfast!" She frowned. "Humans eat eggs, right?" "Uh, yeah," he said, walking over to the table and sitting down. "Oh, good," she said in relief. "I didn't want to ask 'cause I didn't want to wake you up." "That was very considerate of you. Can you find the coffee for me?" Ditzy went to a cabinet and opened it, looking confused as she rifled through it. "I don't think it's under the sink, Ditzy," he said with as little annoyance as possible, taking half the eggs and moving them to one of the plates that had been left out. "Oh, right!" she said, pulling her head out. "I was wondering why it would be with the dish soap." She quickly found the actual cabinet and grabbed the coffee, handing it to Brett. He took his travel coffee maker and, after some searching, found an outlet to plug it into. And he silently thanked whatever universal power was out there, Celestia or otherwise, that the outlets and the plug were compatible after realizing he had never considered it. After he activated the machine, he sat back down at the table with Ditzy and started on his eggs. They were surprisingly well-cooked; maybe he had judged her too harshly. "So," he said in between bites, "why are you still here? I thought you'd be gone in the morning." "Why?" she asked with apparently genuine confusion. "Um... You did know this was supposed to be a one-time thing, right?" "Oh, yeah, I kinda figured that. But that doesn't mean I can't make you breakfast!" "Fair enough." He reached for a glass of water while Ditzy continued. "And actually, I wanted to ask you about something." "What's that?" he asked, taking a drink. "I was thinking maybe you could move in with me." Brett nearly choked on his water and some of it went up his nose. He slammed down the glass and coughed, trying to clear his airways enough to get out a reply. Eventually he managed to recompose himself. He was silent for a second. "I'm sorry?" "For what? Did you—" "No, I mean, what did you say?" "You could move in with me." "Uh, don't you think that's a little much?" She looked confused, then her eyes widened. "Oh no, I didn't mean it like that!" she said hurriedly. "It's just that, you know, you said you needed a place to live. I have an an extra bedroom in my house I never use, so I thought maybe you could use it. I thought a lot about it after you fell asleep, and I don't see why you wouldn't want to do it. We can just be roommates. And I can set the rent really low, too. Not too low, though, 'cause postmare's not really the best job. I mean it's okay, but I can't really—" "Ditzy." She shook her head. "Sorry," she said. "That actually sounds like a good idea." Her eyes did that pinwheel thing again. "Awesome! So you'll think about it?" "Yeah, sure." "Cool!" She quickly finished her eggs and fluttered over to the door, bumping the wall before landing. "I can't wait to tell Dinky!" "Dinky?" "Oh, she's my daughter," said Ditzy with pride. "And don't worry, I left her with a foalsitter for the night." "Wait a minute," said Brett with an amused grin. "Did you actually plan all this?" "Not exactly; I didn't plan on getting with a human!" She turned around and walked out the door, waving behind her. "Bye, Brett!" He waved after her, then shut the door. Aw yeah, he thought smugly, I just got with a single mom. Then his smug grin instantly disappeared. Oh no. I'm moving in with a single mom. Author's Note Disclaimer: I do not in any way advocate racism, toward Asians or otherwise. That joke was simply for funnies. If you are an actual racist, I have no sympathy for you. Good day. Sorry this took so long. I would have posted it earlier, but you know, life getting in the way and all that jazz. Despite what some of you undoubtedly thought from the long break, I will be continuing this. The story is not dead. But my track record honestly isn't very good when it comes to finishing long stories. Hopefully this doesn't go the way of SBC and SSSC9000. But if you would kindly make suggestions for ponies Brett should get it on with, I would be ever so grateful and the story might move faster. [joke]Which means if you don't make a suggestion and the story dies, it's your fault![/joke] Colts Will Be Colts (Braeburn)"Ya sure are tall, mister human," said Apple Bloom as Brett bought a bunch of apples from her sister's stand. The little filly was sitting behind the counter observing, as she had no school on the weekends and her friends were apparently busy doing something else. "Now, Apple Bloom," admonished Applejack, "that wasn't very polite." "Why not?" asked the filly. "'Cause callin' him 'mister human' makes him seem like some weird creature. What was it Twilight called it? Deperson..." "Depersonalizing?" offered Brett. "Yeah, that's it! It's depersonifyin'." "Depersonalizing," he repeated, correcting her. "That's what Ah said." Her eyes narrowed at him. "Are you callin' me a liar?" "What? No, I was just—" "Ah'm just messin' with ya, buddy!" She punched him playfully on the shoulder, then returned to business. "Now that'll be six bits for the apples." Brett found his bag and slipped the appropriate number of coins onto the counter. He silently cursed Equestria for using coinage rather than more easily carried paper money. The bag constantly weighed down on him like a rock in his pocket. "Thank you," he said, turning to walk away. "Hey, before ya leave, I was wonderin' somethin'." "Oh?" he said, turning back. "Ah heard ya were gonna start boardin' with Ditzy." Brett's eyes widened a bit in surprise. "Wow, news travels fast around here," he said. "Well, Ah mostly know 'cause Pinkie told me." "How did she know?" he asked. Then he realized. "Pinkie Pie," they said in unison, Brett nodding at the realization. "So anywho," she continued, "about what Ah was gonna ask ya. How'd you like ta come over for dinner at our house tonight, as a kind of housewarmin' gift? Ya can meet mah cousin Braeburn; he's gonna be visitin' from Appleloosa." "Well, I've got a lot of work to get done—" "Aw, shucks, it's the weekend! 'Sides, ya can always get it done later. So whadaya say?" "Um... sure." "Alrighty, then! Ah'll tell the folks ta set up another spot at the table! Bye, now!" She waved as Brett walked away, bag of apples in hand. Later that evening, Brett walked along a dirt path, his feet scuffing the soft reddish clay as he walked. Over a hill in the distance he saw the barn of Sweet Apple Acres poking into the sky, along with the farm's eponymous apple trees. He walked through the archway entrance and noticed an extremely muscular red stallion toting hay bales. He was almost as tall as Brett's shoulder. "Hey, there," Brett said when he got close enough. "What's your name, big boy?" "Mac," he said succinctly. "You workin' hard, Mac?" "Eeyup." "You don't talk much, do you?" "Nope." Before Brett could ask the question on his mind, he was interrupted by Applejack. "Brett! Yer here!" "In the flesh," he said, turning to see her standing just outside her front door waving to him. "Well, c'mon, soup's on!" She went inside and Brett ran over and followed. "Apple Bloom won't be joinin' us today; she's had somethin' scheduled with her friends for a while and Ah didn't want to be the one who dragged her back here." "Understandable." As he entered the Apple family home, he noticed that it was, of course, quite rustic. And the first thing he smelled upon entering was the sweet smell of a certain round fruit. That same fruit was lumped in baskets along the walls, and as he came to the kitchen, he saw that they were also piled on the kitchen counters in various degrees of intactness. "This here's the kitchen," Applejack said in an introductory tone, waving her hoof in front of her. "Gee, that was quite thoughtful of you to point that out," said Brett dryly. "I never would have figured that out on my own." "No need to get smart," she said. "Ah'm givin' ya the grand tour; Ah should be expected to show ya everythin'." She waved to the elderly mare standing at the counter apparently rolling dough, most likely for pie made from the-fruit-which-shall-not-be-named. "Hey there, Granny!" Applejack said in what could be interpreted as a loud voice. "Huh, whazzat?" she said in a shaky voice, glancing up slowly. Her eyes settled on Brett and she grimaced. "Oh, it's one o' them 'hoomin' things, ain't it? Now look here, missy," she scolded, shaking a quite threatening-looking rolling pin above her head for emphasis, "ya best be careful o' them. They don't got no Harmony and no Friendship, and they kill each other fer sport; there's no tellin' what they'll do to ya if they getcha alone!" Well, thought Brett, I have some idea. He wisely decided, however, not to voice that particular thought. "Now, Granny," said Applejack angrily, "Ah normally tolerate yer rants, but that was completely uncalled for!" "You mark mah words, Applejack," she continued, pointing the rolling pin at her. "One o' these days, they're gonna cut ya up and serve ya with an apple in yer mouth at one o' their meat feasts!" Applejack wrapped her hoof around Brett and hurried him away from the crotchety old mare. "Sorry 'bout Granny Smith," she said. "You didn't tell her I was a human?" "Well, uh..." Applejack looked mightily uncomfortable for a moment. "Ah-Ah, uh... Ah technically did. Ah think." "What did you say?" "Ah said ya were a visitor from outta town," she said quickly, promptly looking as if she had just kicked a puppy. Brett groaned, but said nothing. He sat down at the table, noticing a spot on the end of the table piled with applesauce and other soft foods and making a mental note to sit as far away from it as possible without being directly across from it. Suddenly, he heard a scuffling sound from the stairs. He glanced up to see the source of the noise, and after a moment it revealed itself. It was an absolutely gorgeous stallion, with a shining golden coat and striking green eyes. He had a strong jawline, accentuated nicely by his brown stetson hat. He had a vest to match the hat with expert stitching, and behind it on his muscular rump was a cutie mark of a single large red apple. His tail and mane were a beautiful compliment of light orange and blond, and they flowed gracefully down his legs and neck, respectively, seeming to point directly to his ass like a series of arrows saying "insert here." "Hey, AJ," he said in a less pronounced variant of Applejack's own country drawl, "where are the towels? I was thinkin' of gettin' in a quick shower." "In the closet a couple trots down from the bathroom, top shelf." "Thanks, cuz." He cantered back up the stairs, leaving Brett staring at the spot where his ass had previously been. "Just as fair warnin'," said Applejack, "Ah'm not sure what ya'll humans accept, but Ah think Ah should let ya know. Braeburn's one o' them stallions what lives the 'alternative lifestyle,' if ya catch mah drift." "You don't say?" he muttered, ideas suddenly blossoming in his brain. He turned to Applejack. "So where's he from, again?" "Well, he's originally from 'round here, but most recently, a couple years ago, he moved to Appleloosa. Tiny little frontier town, quite a ways south. He's always been a wanderer; probably gonna leave Appleloosa 'fore too awful long. Ah keep waitin' for him to meet some nice stallion and settle down, but that don't look to be happenin' anytime soon." "So, you're okay with his sexuality?" "Are you kiddin'? One o' mah best friends goes both ways and Ah've been, uh... leanin' a bit mahself in recent years." "You come by that honestly," he said. She put a hoof to her chest. "Ya'll forget who ya were talkin' to? Ah literally am Honesty!" "Of course. It's an honor to meet you, by the way, if I hadn't said that already." In the background, one could hear the water start running upstairs, signaling the beginning of Braeburn's shower. Brett managed to quickly pull his mind back to reality before it had a chance to wander far. "Well, thank ya kindly." She tipped her hat to him. "Personally, I identify as bisexual," he said with a grin. "It's nice to know there are gay ponies, too." Applejack chuckled. "Mind if I explore on my own?" he asked. "I'm better at remembering spaces if I go through them myself. "Sure, go ahead. Just make sure not to touch anything that looks important. Ah'll go help Granny with the food." She turned and walked toward the kitchen, giving Brett free rein. He wandered around the house, finding various rooms on the first floor, namely a bedroom which probably belonged to Applejack's grandmother, a closet full of rainbow-colored jars that looked extremely important, and a bathroom with a porcelain tub. As Brett was heading up the stairs, he heard the water shut off in the upstairs bathroom. He was passing by the door and noticed that it was cracked open. Ignoring all common sense, he looked inside and was immediately greeted by the beautiful sight of Braeburn's toned rump. The gold-coated colt had just pulled back the curtain and was leaning on the tub and drying himself off with a towel, his rear end facing the door. He looked even more beautiful without the hat and vest in the way. His wet mane was stuck to his neck, the water dripping slowly down his sexy body. His tail quivered and dripped water on the floor as he slowly moved the towel back and forth over his ass. If Brett did not know better, he could have sworn Braeburn was doing it on purpose. As the towel moved down his legs, he slowly revealed his body. First came his asshole, which came into plain view as his tail flicked to the side, followed by his plump, round balls. The skin was smooth save for his perineum, a thin line running from his hole all the way to the base of his slightly-unsheathed cock, which was quite an appealing shade of brown. The stallion turned, and his eyes widened as he froze in mid-towel stroke, and Brett realized he had been caught. He jumped back and tried to run away, but the stallion had other plans. "Hey!" he said, bursting out of the bathroom. "Wait!" Brett stopped and turned around to see Braeburn glaring at him, but not with as much venom as he would have thought. "What?" he said cautiously. "T'ain't nice to peek in on ponies like that." Brett sighed. "I know. The door was cracked and I... guess I couldn't stop myself." He smirked a bit. Just a bit. "So, uh..." Braeburn shuffled a bit on his hooves. "You're into stallions?" "Well, mares too. But yeah." "I've, uh... never met a human that... swung that way. 'Specially not a guy who went for stallions." "Well, it's kinda hard not to go for you," said Brett, causing Braeburn to blush adorably. "That's awful nice of ya, Mister... Aw, shucks, I don't rightly know your name." "Brett Matheson. Just call me Brett." "That's nice of ya, Brett. But I don't know if I..." He trailed off, but Brett picked it back up. "...know if you want to do something with a human?" "Well, uh..." Braeburn was looking strictly at the floor now, his cheeks glowing a fiery red. "Tell you what. How about we try it, and if you don't like it, then we can stop whenever you want?" "Wha—Now?" Braeburn was genuinely surprised this time. "But AJ and Granny are downstairs!" Brett smirked. "So we'll be quiet. You wanna do it?" Braeburn visibly hesitated, obviously trying very hard to make a decision. Eventually he did. "Well... alright. But we gotta do it real quick-like." He hurried back toward the guest bedroom and Brett followed, his dick already straining against his jeans. It seemed as if it was ready to pop out like one of those aliens if he didn't get his satisfaction soon. As they entered the bedroom, Braeburn moved toward the bed. Brett began to undo his jeans, but his fingers were having quite a bit of trouble being their dextrous selves due to his heightened state of arousal. Finally, though, he managed to work the button and pull down his jeans and briefs, and Braeburn immediately knelt down in front of him. Braeburn leaned in close and sniffed the human's junk, inhaling the exotic aroma. It smelled noticeably more musky than the average stallion, and he supposed that it had to do with the fact that humans wore such restricting clothes so often. The shaft was similar to a stallion's in length, if a bit shorter, but with no medial ring. The tip had barely any flare at all, and the urethra did not protrude as with a stallion's penis. The balls were also not nearly as smooth and did not hang quite as low. It reminded him of a picture he had seen once of a minotaur's equipment, though this was much more girthy and appealing. He looked up at Brett and, while maintaining eye contact, turned his head sideways and wrapped his deft lips around the shaft. He started at the base and slowly worked his way to the tip, then moved back down again, jerking the human's cock with his mouth. Then he finally broke eye contact to start working properly on the shaft. Braeburn suckled briefly on the tip, then moved down, gradually sinking more and more of the shaft into his mouth. Soon, it reached the back of his throat. But Braeburn was an experienced cocksucker. He suppressed his gag reflex, enabling him to swallow the member in its entirety. As his lips reached the base, he moved his lips in rhythmic motions around the shaft, kissing the skin with the thin coating of bristly hair. Meanwhile, Brett grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugged upward, pulling it off in one smooth motion, revealing his muscular torso. He threw back his head and groaned as the head of his penis passed the back of Braeburn's throat. He could feel the moist tube relax as the stallion opened his throat to take in Brett's manhood. Already, he could feel a pressure building in his balls, and he knew he was getting close. Man, this colt was good. Not one to fall into a rut, Braeburn reached up a hoof and brushed against Brett's hand. Brett moved in response and his hand was guided to the back of Braeburn's head, where he began to play with the stallion's amber-orange locks. He ran his fingers through the mane and Braeburn moaned quietly in response. "You like that, Braeburn?" he asked. The colt nodded and gave his affirmation around the dick in his mouth. "Mm-hmm." Braeburn's own erection had become hard as rock by this point and was practically pouring precum onto the hardwood floor, but it was left unnoticed as he tended to Brett's sexual needs. One of Braeburn's little quirks was that he actually got sexual pleasure from giving oral sex. Even with no direct stimulation to his own parts, sucking off somepony, or someone, went a long way toward his climax. If he tried, it would only take a minimal amount of stimulation to set him off. Brett, however, was rapidly nearing his orgasm from the stimulation that he was receiving. His hand left Braeburn's head and clenched into a fist, but the earth pony quickly placed it back where it was. "Oh, you like that?" "Mm-hmm," Braeburn said again. He grabbed the hand on his head and pushed it down, signaling Brett to be more forceful. "Oh, so you're into domination?" Braeburn did not verbally reply, but he looked up at Brett's face and the glint in his eyes told him everything he needed to know. "So you like it when I do... this?" Brett suddenly shoved Braeburn's muzzle down onto his cock, driving it deep down his throat. He finally felt and heard the stallion gag, but he quickly recovered. "Mm!" mumbled Braeburn with greater vigor. "I'm really close to cumming, babe," said Brett. "You want me to cum in your mouth?" Braeburn mumbled in affirmation again. Brett grabbed Braeburn's head with both hands and began pumping away, hammering the stallion's jaws with hard, powerful thrusts. The pressure continued to build and was close to being released. "You like that? You wanna taste my cum?" "Mm-hmm!" "Well, that must make you a cumslut. Are you my little cumslut?" Braeburn finally began working his cock, jerking the hard rod vigorously with a hoof. He could instinctively tell that Brett was close, and he wanted it all. "Mmph! Mmm!" He whined out his need, sucking with all his strength. The pounding of his muzzle was more erratic, and he knew his partner was right on the edge. "Aw, I'm gonna cum!" said Brett, forcing Braeburn's mouth down to the base of his cock. A thick stream of creamy jizz shot out of his dick and straight down Braeburn's eager maw, bypassing his taste buds and going directly to his stomach. Braeburn pulled back for the next few squirts, however, in order to taste his prize. "Yeah, suck up that cum," said Brett, rubbing Braeburn's head. "Eat it up like a good little slut." And Braeburn obeyed. He sucked up the thick, virile seed like his life depended on it, then slowed down and rolled it around in his mouth, savoring the taste like a wine connoisseur. A bit bitter, but with a pleasant creamy aftertaste. The thickness indicated that he had been eating plenty of veggies, and the taste suggested a diet high in protein. Once Braeburn had swallowed the remaining drops of Brett's semen, he lifted his head, fully ready to leave and forget the whole thing. However, not one to be outdone, Brett reached down and lifted him up, surprising the colt. He set Braeburn down gently on the bed. Laying on his back, Braeburn's hard cock was plainly visible to Brett, standing at attention. The pony looked at him, surprised, and he grinned. "You didn't think I'd hit and run, did you?" he said. He knelt down at the edge of the bed, greedily eyeing Braeburn's needy cock. He then lowered his head down, wrapping his lips around the tip. It tasted pretty much like a human's member, but not quite as musky. His right hand came up and grabbed the shaft, holding it steady as he started bobbing his head up and down, sucking on it. Though he was not nearly the expert on deepthroating that Braeburn obviously was, he tried his best, taking almost half the length before having to pull back up for air. As his right hand stroked the shaft, Brett's left came up to fondle Braeburn's heavy balls, massaging them for their seed. He looked up and saw Braeburn's face contorted in pleasure, writhing as he neared his orgasm. Braeburn could feel the pressure building, and he knew that he was about to blow. Despite his inability to deepthroat Braeburn's entire length, the human was remarkable with his tongue, wrapping the appendage around the shaft and flicking it over the urethra. Soon, the pleasure grew to be too much for Braeburn. The head of Braeburn's dick flared, plugging Brett's throat. As he jerked the shaft more quickly, he could feel the balls and member twitch. Brett looked up at Braeburn, eagerly awaiting the coming flood. With a grunt of ecstasy, a thick stream of jizz shot out of the earth pony's cock. Brett moaned in pleasure and swallowed, sucking down the creamy equine cum. It tasted oddly sweet, with only the slightest hint of bitterness. Several more shots followed the first somewhat less forcefully, splashing against the inside of Brett's mouth and throat and coating it in translucent white seed. Finally, after about ten seconds of riding out his orgasm, Braeburn collapsed backward, laying out fully on the bed. He sighed in satisfaction, a dazed expression gracing his face. Brett pulled his mouth off the stallion's softening cock with a pop, then laid his chin on his partner's lap, looking up at him. "Well, it was good for me," he said with a grin. "How about you?" "Yeah," sighed Braeburn dreamily. "Has it been a while since you've gotten a blowjob?" "Long time," replied the cowpony. He finally sat up and looked down at Brett, who simply remained with his chin on Braeburn's lap, the side of his head slightly smeared with the stallion's drying cum. "Well, if you're ever in town again, maybe you could come over to my place and we can do this properly." Brett got up and sat on the bed next to him. "I think I can spare some time at the next reunion," said Braeburn with a grin. Suddenly, they heard hoofsteps from downstairs. Then a voice floated up to the room that could only be that of the one producing the hoofsteps. "Braeburn! Brett!" shouted Applejack. "Soup's on! Where are those two...?" "Oh, shit!" hissed Brett, running for his jeans and racing to put them back on. Braeburn jumped to the floor and sat down, wiping away the cum on his lips and trying to hide his softening but still visible boner. Brett finally got his jeans buckled as the hoofsteps were heard ascending the stairs. He sat on the bed as if he had been talking with Braeburn, when the stallion's eyes widened. "Cum in your mane! Ya got cum in your mane!" he hissed, gesturing to the right side of Brett's head. The human quickly wiped it away, and not a moment too soon. Several milliseconds after the seed had been wiped away, the door opened to admit Applejack, minus her trademark hat. Most likely it had been hung up on a hat rack somewhere downstairs. "There ya two are!" she said. "Ah've been lookin' all over the house for ya'll." "Braeburn here was just telling me about Appleloosa," said Brett, taking the initiative. Also to save poor Braeburn the stress. "Y-Yeah," confirmed Braeburn. "I, uh, just finished the story about the trifle with the native buffalo!" He forced a smile, and Applejack seemed to eye him with suspicion. "It was a pretty exciting story," said Brett. "Well then," said Applejack, turning to him, "what was yer favorite part?" Before the human could start floundering for an answer, Braeburn cut in. "He seemed to like the part about them stealin' Bloomberg from the train," he said, still maintaining his forced smile. Applejack's expression immediately softened. "Poor Bloomberg," she said. "How's he doin'?" Braeburn let out a breath he had not realized he had been holding. "He's doin' great! I just recently cleared him up of an apple aphid infestation and he seems to be bouncin' back fine!" So Bloomberg must be an apple tree, thought Brett. They can't talk too, can they? Everything else seems to. Seemingly satisfied, Applejack looked back to Brett, and her face contorted in confusion. "Brett? Where's yer shirt?" Oh, shit! "Uh... Well, it was getting kind of hot. Humans take off their shirts when they're hot." "Why don't they just sweat?" "Uh, w-w-well, they do, it's just that, uh... it's easier?" Applejack gave him the stink eye for a moment, then looked away and instantly brightened. "Well, what are we waitin' for, then? Let's go eat!" She turned and trotted back downstairs, and Brett and Braeburn both sighed in relief. "Phew!" said Braeburn. "For a minute there, I was afraid for my life!" "No kidding," replied Brett, finding his shirt and slipped it back over his form. "Thank God she bought it." Braeburn gave him a weird look. "'God?' Who's that?" Brett facepalmed. Author's Note Finally, it's done! And finally, a gay chapter! Don't worry, more gay to come. But next chapter is going to be straight. I left a hint in another chapter; you probably know who's next.
Chapter 1: Pinkie and the Brett (Pinkie Pie)Brett Matheson sat on the train to Ponyville, thinking about the events of his day. He had come through the portal to Equestria for his study abroad program, and already he was noticing how different it was from America, or really any country on Earth. The inhabitants were über-friendly, almost to the point of nausea; the weather was on a freaking schedule; and, of course, there were colorful talking ponies everywhere. He supposed he would get used to it, though. Once he had organized everything, he ran off to the train station, eager to start a new life in Ponyville. The site of almost every major event in Equestria in recent years, Ponyville was a hotspot for human tourists. He set his elbow down and put his head in his hand, leaning against the half-open window. His thick brown hair whipped in the wind, and his striking green eyes surveyed the equally striking landscape shooting past the train. He looked in the distance and saw a bridge over a sapphire-blue river, and the highest rooftops of Ponyville poking over a hill. By the time he stepped off the train in Ponyville, it was already 7:00. He had to hurry to get everything situated if he wanted to get to bed at a decent time. He hauled his overly laden suitcase behind him like a bag of rocks and walked quickly down the road. He managed to get almost all the way to the inn before he was greeted loudly by a certain pink mare. Naturally, he had heard tell of the infamous Pinkie Pie, since she and her five friends were kind of minor celebrities on Earth, being the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony and all. But nothing he had been told could prepare him for his first meeting. "Hi!" She jumped out from behind a bush, causing Brett to yelp and almost lose control of his bodily functions. She landed directly in front of Brett, ready to blast out a reply, but something stopped her. She looked at him curiously, turning her head as if trying to understand a piece of abstract art. Eventually, Brett raised a hand. "Uh, hello," he said nervously. "I'm Brett." There was suddenly a loud gasp accompanied by Pinkie levitating up off the ground then darting away, leaving a small pony-shaped cloud that quickly faded away. "Don't worry," said a purple mare from her window who was watering her plants. "She does that. Although for the next day or two, you should be extra-careful walking into unlit rooms." Brett brushed it off and hurried on to the inn. *** After paying the stallion at the register what seemed like a large sum of bits, Brett walked toward his room, already exhausted. As he was opening the door, he thought about how much smaller the doors were in Equestria. He had already hit his head about ten times by now. Ow! Scratch that; eleven times. That would take some getting used to. He plopped down on the bed rubbing his head. After a moment of peaceful respite, he got up and zipped open his suitcase. He took out a towel, his toothbrush and comb, and finally his shampoo and soap. He made sure to shut the blinds, then stripped down as he made his way over to the bathroom. He opened the door and was suddenly assaulted with confetti and noisemakers. "Surprise!" "AAGH!!" Brett fell backward and landed painfully on his rear end, while a widely grinning Pinkie Pie poked her head out of the bathroom and deep into Brett's personal space. "Hiya, Brett! How do you like your surprise party?" Brett looked around and noticed that the bathroom had been decorated with colorful streamers and banners saying, "Welcome to Ponyville!" "Wha...?" Brett tried, but he was unable to articulate the plethora of thoughts swirling around his head; thoughts like, Where did she come from? How did she know I'd be staying in this room? How did she know I'd immediately walk into the bathroom? How did she set up so fast? Did she realize how cute it was when she swished her tail? Wait. What? Pinkie's smile seemed to falter after a moment when she got no intelligible response. "Do you like it?" she asked, her voice wavering ever so slightly. "Uh, well," started Brett, managing to regain his ability to speak, "I didn't expect it." Pinkie's smile regained its previous bright-and-cheery quality and she giggled. "Oh, that was the point, silly! It's a surprise party!" "Where are all the guests?" "Weeellllll," said Pinkie, drawing out the word quite a bit, "I wanted to greet you as soon as possible so I didn't have any time! I heard you were heading toward the inn so I ran to the party store and got a whole bunch of streamers and then I found my generic 'Welcome to Ponyville' banner and then I ran to the inn and told the cashier to give you this room when you get here and then I ran really fast upstairs and squeezed in under the door and set up the stuff in here and waited for you to come in and then you did and I said 'Surprise!'" Brett had a myriad of questions, each more puzzling than the last, but one in particular came to his lips. "How did you squeeze under the door?" "You'd be surprised what a bottle of AstroGlide can do!" She produced a king-size bottle of the well-known lubricant from seemingly nowhere and held it up for Brett to see. "They say you can use it to get a Cadillac in a doghouse. I don't know how big that is, but it sure can get a Pinkie under a door!" The bottle of lube made Brett think of certain actions not appropriate for minors, which made him realize quite suddenly that he was butt-naked. He quickly curled up into the fetal position in an attempt to hide his genitals which were, oddly enough, reacting to their exposure in a way that he would definitely not prefer. "Whatcha doin' that for?" asked the pink pony. "Well," said Brett with a blush, "uh, humans are a bit more sensitive about clothing than ponies are." "Oh, yeah! I've heard about that! Humans wear clothes all the time. But why would you wear clothes every day? They're so uncomfortable and everyone knows what's under them, so why waste the money?" "That's a good question," said Brett. "We really enjoy being stylish. Now please leave." "Aww, but why? I wanna make you feel good!" "Pardon?" Is she actually— "Yeah, I like to make everypony feel good! Like laugh, and sing, and play, and smile! ♫My name is Pinkie Pie♫—" "Hello? I'm still here, and I'm still naked." "Oh, yeah!" She giggled again. God, that was cute. "Well," she said, "aren't you going to open your present?" Does she mean her— "What?" Brett interrupted himself before he could finish his thought. He looked down and saw that she had suddenly produced a small wrapped box with a bow. "Why did you get me a present?" Pinkie reached another steep drop on her emotional roller coaster. "Do you not want a present? Or do you not want one from me? Is it my energy? I've heard a lot of ponies don't like my energy but it's just how I try to cheer ponies up but you're not a pony you're a human so I don't know what you like and I don't know what to do!" Pinkie threw herself onto Brett, leaving him with no choice but to throw his arms up out of the way. Slowly, his arms lowered and gradually wrapped around the mare's frame. He suddenly felt something between his legs and realized that his erect penis was poking into Pinkie's belly. His eyes widened and he tried to move the organ out of the way, but he was stopped by a high voice. "Ooh, what's that?" Pinkie leaned away and looked between Brett's legs in fascination. "Is that what a human thingie looks like? It looks weird." "'Thingie?'" said Brett in indignation. "Yeah, a thingie. You know, the baby maker, the bald-headed yogurt slinger, the cream cannon, the lance of love, the meat flute, the jimmer-jammer, the flapadoodle, the mayonnaise revolver—" "Please stop that!" Brett interrupted. "I wonder if it tastes the same." "Wait, what are you-uuoohhhh." Brett let out an involuntary moan as the pink pony took his dick into her mouth before he could stop her. She wrapped her lips around the tip and immediately slid down to the base, then she moved her head back up with her tongue pressed to the underside of the shaft and popped it out of her mouth. She smacked her lips and considered for a moment. "Hmmm. Musty and masculine, with a slight salty aftertaste. Texture is similar. More musky than a stallion, but not as salty." "Wow," said Brett. "Uh, you seem like a connoisseur." Pinkie shrugged and grinned. "I try." "You know you just licked my dick without asking me, right?" Pinkie's grin seemed to grow devious. "Did you like it?" "Uh—Well—That's not the point!" "Oh, I think it i~is!" she said in a singsong voice. "You want some more?" "I don't think that's such a... good... Oohhh." Pinkie grabbed the tip of his penis in her lips and sucked on it like a lollipop. She twirled her tongue around the circumference of the shaft, playing with it like a candy in her mouth. "Mmmm," she moaned as she sucked him off, as if she were eating a particularly delicious pastry. Brett finally decided that maybe this was not so bad after all. This was what he had come for anyway. She bobbed her head up and down the shaft, eyes still wide, taking in a continuous stream of information. She looked up at Brett to see how he was enjoying himself, and he felt a shiver of pleasure go through his body when they made eye contact. She moved her head left and right and moaned quietly, combining into a maelstrom of pleasurable sensations consistently pushing him forward. All the while she kept eye contact with Brett, not even blinking for an almost frighteningly long time. Brett put his hand on the back of Pinkie's head and gripped her fluffy mane, noting that it felt suspiciously like cotton candy. He pushed her a bit faster and a bit harder, but Pinkie wouldn't have the human take away her responsibility to give him pleasure. She popped his dick out quite a bit earlier than he would have liked, but he could already feel his orgasm starting to build momentum. This mare was good! She turned around and bent down, showing off her lower lips, which were full with arousal and somehow even more pink than the rest of her. The lips curved around the entrance of her vagina in a teardrop-like shape, and her clitoris flexed and stuck out of her entrance, parting the slightly wrinkled skin like a little tongue, taunting him. "What do you think, human? You like my pussy?" The words sounded like they would have normally been sultry and sexy, but Pinkie was far too naturally chipper for them to come out as anything other than cheerful-bordering-on-insanity. Holy shit, that's hot, he thought as he stared at her pussy and began to hyperventilate a bit. I may never look at humans again. "You, me, bed, now," he said aloud. Pinkie giggled and got up out of her stance. She bounced over to the bed like a pogo stick, and when she got over there she bounced extra high and did a cannonball onto the bed. She bounced on the mattress once before settling on her back and grinning at Brett over the top of her swollen vulva. Brett walked over and eagerly hopped onto the bed, leaning over Pinkie. He looked at her sultrily, and she looked back with... joy? Or lust? It was so difficult to distinguish this pony's emotions; they all utilized the same cheerful grin. He was just positioning himself when, quite suddenly, Brett realized something he had never considered before. "Wait. Do I need a condom?" "Why?" asked Pinkie with what appeared to be genuine confusion. "Weellll, I guess you don't 'cause you're a human and I'm a pony so I can't get pregnant or anything or at least I don't think I can and I know you can't or maybe you can you're from another dimension so I don't know how you work but I know I probably can't get pregnant unless there's some magical spell that would do that—" "Can we just shut up and fuck?" "Oh yeah!" She giggled again, and Brett decided to err on the side of pleasure. He placed his hands on the bed to Pinkie's sides and he moved forward and rubbed his dick against Pinkie's lower lips. The heat from her nethers sent tremors through his body as they touched. He groaned as he ground himself slowly against her. He pressed into her harder and the pressure on his member produced even more pleasure. "Ohh, that feels good." "Yeah, I really like that! But I kinda like stuff inside me. Not always in the front place but sometimes also in the back place 'cause I just love having woo-hoo!" "Oh my God," mumbled Brett under his breath. "'Woo-hoo?' Really?" "Yeah! You know, the horizontal mambo, the—" "I got it!" said Brett quickly, desperately trying not to tear his hair out. "Right! Don't worry, I get it!" "So, are we gonna do it?" "Yeah, sure, just... stop talking." "Okey dokey lokey!" said the mare, making a zipping motion across her lips. Brett leaned back on his knees and placed one hand on Pinkie's right hind leg. He then used his other hand to line up his member with her entrance. He first used the tip to smear some of her lubrication around the outside, causing the smell to waft up into his nose. The smell was amazing! She smelled sweet, like ambrosia; both the dessert kind and the mythical kind. He thrust forward, burying himself inside her. The warm, wet folds enveloped his shaft, hugging it snugly, and he groaned in pleasure. He pushed in slowly and his balls eventually came to rest against her lips. "That feels really good, Mr. Brett! Different than a stallion, but still pretty good. Not quite as thick as a stallion, but that's okay 'cause it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean!" Brett gave her a glare that could set an elephant on fire at 50 yards. "Oops, sorry," she said and made the zipping motion again. Brett pulled back out of her, feeling a few drops of her arousal coating his balls. He thrust forward harder and Pinkie squealed lightly behind her zipped lips. "Oh," said Brett smugly. "Does that feel good?" "Mm-hmm!" Pinkie mumbled in a tone that sounded much more happy than lustful. God, this mare is weird, thought Brett. He pulled out again slowly, enjoying the feeling of her walls moving over his shaft, then thrust in hard again, producing a smack as he slapped against her. Pinkie squealed again, this time shaking her hooves in the air happily. Brett started thrusting harder and faster, already nearing his limit. He leaned down and laid his face on her chest, kissing it and nibbling on the fur. Pinkie took notice of this. "Hmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-hmm-mm-mm?" she mumbled. "What?" said Brett, lifting his head to look at her. She made an unzipping motion and then spoke. "Why are you sucking on my chest?" she asked. Brett got the familiar and distinct feeling that he had done something wrong. "Uh, your nipples?" She chuckled. "Oh silly, my nipples are down there!" She pointed with her hoof to a point just above her mound and for the first time, Brett noticed her teats, which were slightly swollen by her arousal. "Oh. Forgot about those." "Obviously!" she said with another light chuckle. He reached down and rubbed one of her teats with a hand as he thrust in and out, using his other hand to hold up her hind leg for leverage. He swirled his fingers around the areola and gently squeezed the whole teat itself, kneading it like dough. "Oo-oo-ooh, that feels good," said Pinkie more softly. As her head fell to the side, her tongue lolled out of her mouth and leaked a bit of drool onto the bed. Brett took this as a compliment and moved faster, pushing himself closer and closer. "Ooh, yeah, do me," said Pinkie. "Do me hard." Brett obliged, thrusting faster and faster until finally, he gave a final hard thrust and came, shooting a huge load of cum inside her. It shot out of his dick and deep into her body, filling her up and coating her passage with white sticky goodness. He stayed there for a moment before collapsing on his back next to her. He laid there panting, basking in the afterglow and thinking about how awesome his first day had turned out. He wondered how he had ever managed to get to where he was at that moment. People back home had always thought he was weird, and they were probably right. He had always been the sexually adventurous type, so to speak. A few months after the portal had been opened to the public, Brett had happened across porn that had supposedly been leaked from Equestria; ponies in all manner of positions and situations. And it had been hot. As. Fuck. Both the mares and the stallions had caught his eye, and both were more attractive to Brett than their human counterparts. The mares looked tighter and the stallions looked bigger—even accounting for size differences—and he knew he wanted them. He had been trying to find an excuse to take a trip to Equestria ever since. He had tried saving up the money for a vacation, but before he had gathered enough funds, he had discovered that the study-abroad program at his college had included Equestria on the list of countries. He figured he could do a semester in Equestria and possibly slack off occasionally on his studies to try and get lucky. Of course, there was a problem; he would have to find ponies who were interested in having sex with a tall hairless ape from an alternate dimension. Surely, it couldn't be that hard, could it? For God's sake, he had already boinked a celebrity, and he hadn't even been in town a whole day! Admittedly, it was a mare that had basically tackled him and ignored all dissent, and he knew he had broken the "don't stick your dick in crazy" rule big time (albeit through little fault of his own), but it was hot nonetheless. But she hadn't really seemed like a grown mare. Despite some comments that might point to the contrary, she seemed too young and childish to have ever done anything sexual. Brett managed to break himself out of his recollection and slowly turned to her. "Pinkie," he asked slowly, "how many sexual partners have you had?" She sat up and thought for a moment. She made quite a show of counting on her hooves, several extra of which popping out of God knows where as she mumbled under her breath. "Dashie and Soarin'... Carry the one... Eighty-seven," she said eventually, retracting all of the extra hooves. "Holy fuck!" blurted Brett. "You seem so innocent." "Well, a lot of ponies say I have the brain of a foal and the stomach of a dragon. Does that tell you anything?" "Explains a lot, actually," he mumbled. "How do you even have time for that many?" "Well, a lot of the ponies I sleep with are new arrivals or ponies I'm doing parties for. And I never got why everypony made such a big deal about it, saying I was 'giving it away,' or whatever. I mean, why would you not want to have sex? Sex is funneriffic! It's like the greatest party on the planet and you don't even need any decorations! Ask the Princesses; I taught them everything they know." "Wait. Are you saying that you—" He pointed his finger at her in surprise. "—had sex with the Princesses?" "Uh, ye~ah!" She temporarily adopted what sounded like a California Valley Girl accent. "You thought they could go a thousand years without getting any? I'm the latest royal consort!" She put a hoof to her chest with pride, which then turned to horror. "Oh no! I wasn't supposed to tell anypony that! You heard nothing!" She bounced off the bed and leapt out the open window to the street several yards below, instantly disappearing into the night like a pink ninja. "Well," said Brett after a moment. "That just happened."
Chapter 2: Blonde Joke (Ditzy Doo)The table Brett sat at was annoyingly wobbly. It did not really affect anything; all he was doing was sitting in Sugarcube Corner trying to pick up dates. But it was still annoying. He knew that Pinkie worked at Sugarcube Corner and he did not want to run into her again, but thankfully she was off that day. The venue was lightly populated by ponies going about their daily business, but it was sparse enough that Brett did not feel overwhelmed. He looked over at a dark pegasus stallion the color of a storm cloud (Thunderlane, he thought he heard his friend say) and put his head in his hand, setting his elbow on the table. When the stallion looked his way, he would wave and give him a sexy smile and wink. Except he was distracted as he felt another wobble. Damn this defective table! When he looked back, the stallion was walking out the door, but a mare was entering past him. She was a gorgeous gray pegasus with a flowing blonde mane hanging down past her shoulders. She had well-toned legs and hips, and he saw a cutie mark that appeared to be a series of bubbles on her rump. She walked up and gave her order to Mrs. Cake, the co-owner of the establishment, and threw her bits onto the counter. She then moved to find a table, turning in Brett's direction. He winced a bit when he saw her eyes. They were going completely different directions; one was looking at the ceiling, the other was looking forward, and they seemed to switch orientations quite frequently. The oddity was further emphasized by the fact that ponies' eyes took up almost half their head. He had never seen such a weird-looking face. Suddenly the mare noticed him and waved. Oh shit! he thought. She knows I was staring at her eyes! The mare trotted over happily and sat down in the seat across from him. "Hi!" she said in a bubbly voice. "How are you? Are you here on vacation?" "Uh, good. I'm actually here studying abroad." Did she really not notice him staring at her eyes? The twin orbs were moving erratically, twirling this way and that. Brett had to exert a conscious effort not to become entranced by their hypnotic motion. "What does that mean?" she asked. "It means I'm going to be living here while I learn." "Oohhh," she said in realization. "Well, I just thought you were a tourist. We get a lot of humans coming through here. And the ones with slanty-looking eyes seem to take a lot of pictures." Brett snorted and tried desperately not to burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" "Nothing, nothing," said Brett after recomposing himself. "There's just a... Never mind." "So what are you studying?" she asked. He was about to answer but he stopped. Her eyes were doing that thing again. This time Brett was caught off guard and found himself staring again. She waved her hoof in front of his face and it broke the spell. "Mister? You okay?" "I'm sorry," he blurted. "For what?" "For staring at your eyes." She suddenly understood and chuckled cutely. "Oh, that's okay. Some ponies make fun of them, but I think it makes me look cute! I'm Ditzy Doo, by the way, but most ponies call me Derpy 'cause of my eyes. What's your name?" "I'm Brett Matheson," he said, and Ditzy extended a hoof. He took it in his hand and shook it in greeting, then they both retracted their respective forelimbs. "So what are you studying?" she asked again. "Biology," he said, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Specifically anatomy." Her eyes lit up and seemingly sparkled, rapidly spinning like pinwheels. "Ooh, cool!" she said excitedly. "I can show you if you want. I'm staying at the inn until I get an apartment." "Can we do it after I eat? I just ordered a blueberry muffin." He leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms. "Yeah, sure." They talked for a while until Mrs. Cake brought out their food. Brett had placed an order for a piece of coffee cake, but had told them to take their time, so it ended up being finished right when Ditzy's muffin was. Mrs. Cake set the two confections on the table, and as she walked away, Brett thought he saw her swaying her hips and looking back at him seductively. Or maybe he was just super horny. After they finished their food, they got up and walked out, passing through the door and out into the sunny afternoon street. They walked casually down the road until they came to the inn not far away from where they started. Brett walked in and Ditzy greeted the stallion at the register, telling Brett he was a friend of hers. They continued up to Brett's room and he unlocked and opened the door, ducking carefully as he walked in. He went over to his desk and showed her each object on the desk in turn. "My studies are specifically focused on how magic affects Equestrian life. This is my microscope that I use for studying blood samples and such, to see how magical forces interact with the tissues and fluids." "How do you do that?" asked Ditzy. "Well, I have a device I special-ordered from Manehattan before I left that can create magical currents. I use it to test the reactions of different substances and tissues to magic. "Wow, cool! But don't you need a unicorn? 'Cause without a unicorn it's just plain magic; it won't really do anything." Brett blinked at this mare's unexpected insight. "Really?" "Yeah! Everypony knows only unicorns can direct magic. And we both know humans can't!" She paused. "You can't, right?" He chuckled. "No. No, we can't. But we make up for our lack of magic by having hands." He raised his arms and flexed the digits of the aforementioned appendages. "Yeah, I've seen Spike use his claws for all kinds of stuff, like picking up stuff and picking stuff out of holes and other stuff! But you can do a lot more stuff than he can 'cause your hands are bigger, so you can pick up bigger stuff!" She paused, looking uncertain. "Did I just say 'stuff' a whole lot?" He nodded and her head sank a bit. "So who's Spike?" he asked. "He doesn't sound like a pony." "Nope," said Ditzy, perking up, "he's a dragon! He's Princess Twilight's Number One Assistant!" "That's weird. How come I've never heard of him?" "Well," said Ditzy, "he says ponies are always forgetting about him. But I never forget about anypony 'cause I'm really smart!" Brett smirked. "Okay, then. If you're so smart, how much do you know about hunan anatomy?" She frowned. "Oh, not much. Just that you have hands and stuff." She put her hoof to her chin in thought. "And I've always wondered what you look like under those clothes you wear all the time." Brett turned and rolled up one of his shirt sleeves to reveal his bicep. "Well first of all, these are what my arms look like." Ditzy's eyes went wide and spun in opposite directions. "Ooh, cool!" He leaned down on his knees and she came closer. She reached out a hoof and gingerly touched it to his skin, feeling the bulging muscles underneath. Her hoof was surprisingly soft against his skin; it felt more like flexible plastic than the keratin it should have been made of. "I work out sometimes," he said with a slightly smug grin, "so my muscles are a bit bigger than most." He flexed his arm and the skin tightened and loosened beneath the gray hoof. "Oooh." Ditzy's eyes were both focused on the arm now, staring at the tiny imperfections in the skin, analyzing each individual hair. "You think that's cool, you should see my chest." Her eyes glanced up and they were briefly both focused on his face before the left one went off on its own. "Can I really?" she asked excitedly. "Sure, hang on a second." He stood up, then walked over and sat on the bed, scooting back a bit so Ditzy would have room. She jumped up as well and took a seat next to him. He reached his arms down, grabbed the bottom of the shirt, and pulled upward, tugging the garment off his body in one smooth motion and throwing it to the side. This revealed the entirety of his torso, which was just as muscular as his arms. He had naturally large pecs and well-sculpted abs, along with a very light covering of chest hair. Ditzy stared for a moment before placing a hoof on his left pec. "It's so smooth," she said in fascination. "Hardly any fur at all." "We really don't call it fur; we call it hair. Same deal with our so-called mane." "Wow!" said Ditzy, smiling like an idiot. "I never knew that!" Her other hoof came up and she started slowly rubbing Brett's chest. "So soft," she said, sounding more than a bit distracted. He laid back on the pillow, giving her more room to venture further. Her hooves wandered to his abs and she leaned in closer, examining it like a scientific specimen. She wandered further down his body until she finally reached his waist, her hooves rubbing over the bulge in his jeans. When she realized where she was, she jerked back and looked as if she had been struck. "I'm sorry!" she said. "I didn't mean to do that! Honest!" Tears began to form at the corners of her eyes. He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder in an effort to comfort her. She flinched, but did not move away. "It's okay. It's no big deal." She sniffled. "Really?" "Yeah, you're alright." "I just... I didn't want to do anything you didn't want to." "Well, that's... actually why I brought you here in the first place." She looked up at him, her wonky eyes focusing for a moment. "Really?" she said again. "Yeah, I thought you knew. You want to?" he asked. After a moment, she nodded vigorously. "Sure!" She moved up and sat on his lap, gazing at him with lust in her large golden eyes. He could feel her hot marehood through the denim of his jeans, and he was getting extremely hard. But he was not quite ready to go further yet. Always leave them wanting more. She leaned in until her muzzle was inches from his face and she could feel his breath on her nose. It smelled pleasant, mostly from the sweet coffee cake he had eaten. He leaned forward and their lips connected. He moaned into her mouth, running his tongue along her lips. His hand moved to her neck and caressed her fur, then he gradually began to move downward. He massaged her shoulders, then moved to her back. Her hoof reached back and grabbed his hand, gently nudging it down toward her rump. He broke the kiss, looking to her for an explanation. "I like it when a guy grabs my butt," she said with a blush. "Well, alright, then." He kissed her again, reaching the other hand to her rump. He gripped it with both hands, kneading her cheeks in his palms. They were quite pleasantly plump, most likely from a steady intake of delicious muffins. She slowly humped him, simultaneously rubbing herself against the rough denim and pushing back repeatedly into his grip. He brushed her tail aside, briefly stroking the silky hair before rubbing his right hand in between her cheeks. He reached down past her anus and brushed against her vulva, his fingers getting instantly drenched in hot female arousal. She moaned lightly into his mouth. "You like that?" asked Brett, brushing a finger against her clitoris and causing her to wink. She squealed quietly, then nodded. "Mm-hmm." He progressed further, rubbing his fingers slowly over her vulva. He extended his middle finger and, lubricated by her juices, slid it gently inside her, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from the mare. He pushed it in, spreading her surprisingly tight walls. They flexed around his finger as she winked her clit, her body trying on its own to draw him in. As he pulled his finger back out, she reached down and grabbed at his jeans, trying to take them off. Unfortunately, her hooves were not dextrous enough to work the zipper, although she did manage to pop the button. Brett reached down and slipped the jeans down. Ditzy was jostled left and right as he tried to remove the clothing. "Hang on a second," he said, and Ditzy wrapped her forelegs around his arm in response. He slipped the pants down to his ankles, revealing a pair of sexy blue briefs with a quite sizable bulge. He turned to his right to see Ditzy still holding his arm. "What are you doing?" "Well, you told me to hold on..." "Well, I meant... Never mind," he eventually said, waving it off. He twisted around, laying down next to her, but she was still holding his arm. "You can let go now," he said with slight amusement. "Oh, sorry." She freed her hooves, and Brett sat up on the edge of the bed. She then jumped down off the bed, sitting her rump on the floor. She moved down to Brett's underwear and slipped her hooves into the space between the skin and the fabric, pulling it gently outward and downward. She pulled until the bulge was just barely contained by the cotton, and she slipped it down a bit further, freeing his cock and allowing it to bob up and down before settling. She leaned forward and looked at it cross-eyed for a moment, then Brett gasped as she closed her eyes and took it gingerly into her mouth. Ditzy sucked on it gently, imagining it was a tasty lollipop. She swirled saliva around it, trying to dissolve the candy, before she remembered what she was really sucking on. She moved her head down the length, taking as much of it into her mouth as she could. But it soon hit the back of her throat and she abruptly pulled back, coughing with tears in her eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea," she rasped. "Hey," said Brett, "is it okay if I try something else? It's nothing too weird, I promise." Ditzy nodded. "Yeah, sure." Brett gestured to the bed. "Get up on here and put your rump in the air," he said gently. "Okay." Ditzy jumped up quickly, eager to see what this new thing was. She positioned herself as she was told. Her rump stuck up into the air like a little gray hill, exposing her anus and marehood. Brett thoroughly licked his thumb, then moved the slathered digit to her anus, beginning to gently rub and work the ring of muscle. "Ooh, that's weird," said Ditzy. "Good-weird or bad-weird?" asked Brett as he continued to slowly knead her hole with his thumb. "I dunno," she said, panting lightly. "Good, I guess?" "You ever tried anal before?" Ditzy shook her head. "Well, let me know if it hurts, okay?" "Okay." Brett pushed with his thumb, and the wet digit easily slid into Ditzy's hole. She let out a quick exhale and he felt her clench around his thumb. "How does that feel?" "It's good-weird now," she said simply. He grinned and pushed his thumb into her up to the ball. He then thrust in and out of her a few times before pulling it out. He sucked on his forefinger and middle finger, then moved back and slid first one, then the other gently into Ditzy Doo. "That feel okay?" "Oh, better than okay!" said Ditzy. Once he had gotten her used to the feeling of having his fingers inside her, he pulled them out and positioned himself behind her. His dick, still well lubed from Ditzy's previous sucking, glistened in the light. He leaned over her back, shifting until his dick was even with her rear entrance. He left his right hand free, using his left to support himself on the bed. "Make sure to tell me if it starts hurting," he said again. Using his right hand to hold his shaft, he positioned the tip of it and pushed forward, slowly parting her walls and sinking inside. He groaned as the tightness became evident, her passage clenching down on his rod. Ditzy did her part as well, moaning as she felt the pressure in her rear. She spread her hind legs and tried to open herself, but she did not know how. Hearing no protests or sounds of pain, Brett moved forward slowly until he finally hilted inside her, and he could feel his balls being smeared with her love juices as she winked. She took her left hoof and started to rub her clit, massaging it gently. Her wings were rock-hard at this point, spread as wide as they could possibly be. The muscles strained against their tendons, stiffened by her arousal. "That feel good?" he asked. "Uh-huh." He slowly pulled out, leaving her feeling empty. Then he thrust in more firmly than the first time, his smooth skin running pleasurably over her puckered ring. He continued to speed up until he found a steady rhythm. He gripped her rump with both hands by the cutie marks and thrust in and out, each time spreading her walls and making her legs wobble at the brand new sensations. He brought a hand up and lightly slapped her rump on the cutie mark, eliciting a quiet squeal. "You like that?" Brett panted. "Yeah," she moaned. "That felt good." So he did it again, bringing his hand down a bit harder. It impacted her cheek with a loud snap, leaving a slightly red spot beneath her gray coat. "You like this cock?" "Yeah, it feels good," said Ditzy unsteadily. Brett could feel the pressure building in his loins and he knew he was getting close to his orgasm. Ditzy was feeling the same, but hers was coming on much more rapidly. He rutted Ditzy harder now, his hips slapping against hers. He rested one hand on her back, massaging her wings with his fingers. This provoked even more moans, and he could tell she was about to cum. "Oh, Celestia," said Ditzy. "It feels so good. I'm gonna... I'm gonna... Anh, yeah!" Her pussy convulsed, sending a short stream of marecum shooting backward which splattered on the carpet. Several more spurts squirted out with less intensity, dribbling down the insides of her thighs. While Ditzy was just coming down from her orgasm, Brett's was still building. He pounded her ass like there was no tomorrow, making her moan in ecstasy. He brought his left hand down and rubbed her vulva, swirling the leftover fluids around with his fingers. Eventually, when he was just on the edge, he pulled out and started jerking off. He worked his cock, pushing himself toward the edge, until he finally tipped over it. With a grunt, he shot his load, splattering it all over Ditzy's rear. The glob shot out of his shaft and landed on the mare's coat, covering it with hot, white cream. When the shots slowed, he squeezed his dick like a tube of toothpaste, drawing out the last drops. He knelt down by the bed, then leaned in and stuck his tongue out, slowly running it over her vulva and moving to her anus. He lifted his head after having licked up a small trail of white spunk from her ass. He went back in and licked up more, this time kissing her pucker and slurping up the jizz. Finally, he stroked her tail and kissed underneath it, licking up the last of his cum from her rear. He got up and sat on the bed, falling onto his back and letting his feet rest on the floor. He turned to Ditzy, who smiled at him. One eye looked at Brett while other looked in the general direction of the window. "That was pretty fun," she said. "Especially when you licked up your stuff." "You liked that?" "Yeah," she said. "Means you don't have to clean up afterwards." "It's getting kind of late," said Brett sleepily, glancing at the setting sun. "I should get to bed soon." He turned around and laid in the bed the way it was designed. He laid his head down on the pillow and almost instantly fell asleep. *** Brett woke up to see the sun shining through the blinds at a low angle indicative of early morning. He heard a sizzling sound and looked to the mini-kitchen to see Ditzy frying something on the stove. Her tongue was sticking out of her mouth in concentration and she looked as if she was just cooking for the first time. Shit, thought Brett, throwing the covers off and getting groggily out of bed. She's gonna burn down the building. He found a clean pair of briefs in his suitcase and slipped them on, then did the same with his jeans. He looked over and saw that Ditzy had taken the pan off the stove and that it was filled with eggs. She turned to place them on a plate and finally noticed him. "Oh!" she said around the handle in her mouth. "Well, good 'orning, slee'yhead!" He groaned quietly, putting his head in his hands. "You're still here?" She put the eggs on the plate and set the pan down on the counter. "Uh-huh. I woke up early so I thought I'd make breakfast!" She frowned. "Humans eat eggs, right?" "Uh, yeah," he said, walking over to the table and sitting down. "Oh, good," she said in relief. "I didn't want to ask 'cause I didn't want to wake you up." "That was very considerate of you. Can you find the coffee for me?" Ditzy went to a cabinet and opened it, looking confused as she rifled through it. "I don't think it's under the sink, Ditzy," he said with as little annoyance as possible, taking half the eggs and moving them to one of the plates that had been left out. "Oh, right!" she said, pulling her head out. "I was wondering why it would be with the dish soap." She quickly found the actual cabinet and grabbed the coffee, handing it to Brett. He took his travel coffee maker and, after some searching, found an outlet to plug it into. And he silently thanked whatever universal power was out there, Celestia or otherwise, that the outlets and the plug were compatible after realizing he had never considered it. After he activated the machine, he sat back down at the table with Ditzy and started on his eggs. They were surprisingly well-cooked; maybe he had judged her too harshly. "So," he said in between bites, "why are you still here? I thought you'd be gone in the morning." "Why?" she asked with apparently genuine confusion. "Um... You did know this was supposed to be a one-time thing, right?" "Oh, yeah, I kinda figured that. But that doesn't mean I can't make you breakfast!" "Fair enough." He reached for a glass of water while Ditzy continued. "And actually, I wanted to ask you about something." "What's that?" he asked, taking a drink. "I was thinking maybe you could move in with me." Brett nearly choked on his water and some of it went up his nose. He slammed down the glass and coughed, trying to clear his airways enough to get out a reply. Eventually he managed to recompose himself. He was silent for a second. "I'm sorry?" "For what? Did you—" "No, I mean, what did you say?" "You could move in with me." "Uh, don't you think that's a little much?" She looked confused, then her eyes widened. "Oh no, I didn't mean it like that!" she said hurriedly. "It's just that, you know, you said you needed a place to live. I have an an extra bedroom in my house I never use, so I thought maybe you could use it. I thought a lot about it after you fell asleep, and I don't see why you wouldn't want to do it. We can just be roommates. And I can set the rent really low, too. Not too low, though, 'cause postmare's not really the best job. I mean it's okay, but I can't really—" "Ditzy." She shook her head. "Sorry," she said. "That actually sounds like a good idea." Her eyes did that pinwheel thing again. "Awesome! So you'll think about it?" "Yeah, sure." "Cool!" She quickly finished her eggs and fluttered over to the door, bumping the wall before landing. "I can't wait to tell Dinky!" "Dinky?" "Oh, she's my daughter," said Ditzy with pride. "And don't worry, I left her with a foalsitter for the night." "Wait a minute," said Brett with an amused grin. "Did you actually plan all this?" "Not exactly; I didn't plan on getting with a human!" She turned around and walked out the door, waving behind her. "Bye, Brett!" He waved after her, then shut the door. Aw yeah, he thought smugly, I just got with a single mom. Then his smug grin instantly disappeared. Oh no. I'm moving in with a single mom. Author's Note Disclaimer: I do not in any way advocate racism, toward Asians or otherwise. That joke was simply for funnies. If you are an actual racist, I have no sympathy for you. Good day. Sorry this took so long. I would have posted it earlier, but you know, life getting in the way and all that jazz. Despite what some of you undoubtedly thought from the long break, I will be continuing this. The story is not dead. But my track record honestly isn't very good when it comes to finishing long stories. Hopefully this doesn't go the way of SBC and SSSC9000. But if you would kindly make suggestions for ponies Brett should get it on with, I would be ever so grateful and the story might move faster. [joke]Which means if you don't make a suggestion and the story dies, it's your fault![/joke]
Colts Will Be Colts (Braeburn)"Ya sure are tall, mister human," said Apple Bloom as Brett bought a bunch of apples from her sister's stand. The little filly was sitting behind the counter observing, as she had no school on the weekends and her friends were apparently busy doing something else. "Now, Apple Bloom," admonished Applejack, "that wasn't very polite." "Why not?" asked the filly. "'Cause callin' him 'mister human' makes him seem like some weird creature. What was it Twilight called it? Deperson..." "Depersonalizing?" offered Brett. "Yeah, that's it! It's depersonifyin'." "Depersonalizing," he repeated, correcting her. "That's what Ah said." Her eyes narrowed at him. "Are you callin' me a liar?" "What? No, I was just—" "Ah'm just messin' with ya, buddy!" She punched him playfully on the shoulder, then returned to business. "Now that'll be six bits for the apples." Brett found his bag and slipped the appropriate number of coins onto the counter. He silently cursed Equestria for using coinage rather than more easily carried paper money. The bag constantly weighed down on him like a rock in his pocket. "Thank you," he said, turning to walk away. "Hey, before ya leave, I was wonderin' somethin'." "Oh?" he said, turning back. "Ah heard ya were gonna start boardin' with Ditzy." Brett's eyes widened a bit in surprise. "Wow, news travels fast around here," he said. "Well, Ah mostly know 'cause Pinkie told me." "How did she know?" he asked. Then he realized. "Pinkie Pie," they said in unison, Brett nodding at the realization. "So anywho," she continued, "about what Ah was gonna ask ya. How'd you like ta come over for dinner at our house tonight, as a kind of housewarmin' gift? Ya can meet mah cousin Braeburn; he's gonna be visitin' from Appleloosa." "Well, I've got a lot of work to get done—" "Aw, shucks, it's the weekend! 'Sides, ya can always get it done later. So whadaya say?" "Um... sure." "Alrighty, then! Ah'll tell the folks ta set up another spot at the table! Bye, now!" She waved as Brett walked away, bag of apples in hand. Later that evening, Brett walked along a dirt path, his feet scuffing the soft reddish clay as he walked. Over a hill in the distance he saw the barn of Sweet Apple Acres poking into the sky, along with the farm's eponymous apple trees. He walked through the archway entrance and noticed an extremely muscular red stallion toting hay bales. He was almost as tall as Brett's shoulder. "Hey, there," Brett said when he got close enough. "What's your name, big boy?" "Mac," he said succinctly. "You workin' hard, Mac?" "Eeyup." "You don't talk much, do you?" "Nope." Before Brett could ask the question on his mind, he was interrupted by Applejack. "Brett! Yer here!" "In the flesh," he said, turning to see her standing just outside her front door waving to him. "Well, c'mon, soup's on!" She went inside and Brett ran over and followed. "Apple Bloom won't be joinin' us today; she's had somethin' scheduled with her friends for a while and Ah didn't want to be the one who dragged her back here." "Understandable." As he entered the Apple family home, he noticed that it was, of course, quite rustic. And the first thing he smelled upon entering was the sweet smell of a certain round fruit. That same fruit was lumped in baskets along the walls, and as he came to the kitchen, he saw that they were also piled on the kitchen counters in various degrees of intactness. "This here's the kitchen," Applejack said in an introductory tone, waving her hoof in front of her. "Gee, that was quite thoughtful of you to point that out," said Brett dryly. "I never would have figured that out on my own." "No need to get smart," she said. "Ah'm givin' ya the grand tour; Ah should be expected to show ya everythin'." She waved to the elderly mare standing at the counter apparently rolling dough, most likely for pie made from the-fruit-which-shall-not-be-named. "Hey there, Granny!" Applejack said in what could be interpreted as a loud voice. "Huh, whazzat?" she said in a shaky voice, glancing up slowly. Her eyes settled on Brett and she grimaced. "Oh, it's one o' them 'hoomin' things, ain't it? Now look here, missy," she scolded, shaking a quite threatening-looking rolling pin above her head for emphasis, "ya best be careful o' them. They don't got no Harmony and no Friendship, and they kill each other fer sport; there's no tellin' what they'll do to ya if they getcha alone!" Well, thought Brett, I have some idea. He wisely decided, however, not to voice that particular thought. "Now, Granny," said Applejack angrily, "Ah normally tolerate yer rants, but that was completely uncalled for!" "You mark mah words, Applejack," she continued, pointing the rolling pin at her. "One o' these days, they're gonna cut ya up and serve ya with an apple in yer mouth at one o' their meat feasts!" Applejack wrapped her hoof around Brett and hurried him away from the crotchety old mare. "Sorry 'bout Granny Smith," she said. "You didn't tell her I was a human?" "Well, uh..." Applejack looked mightily uncomfortable for a moment. "Ah-Ah, uh... Ah technically did. Ah think." "What did you say?" "Ah said ya were a visitor from outta town," she said quickly, promptly looking as if she had just kicked a puppy. Brett groaned, but said nothing. He sat down at the table, noticing a spot on the end of the table piled with applesauce and other soft foods and making a mental note to sit as far away from it as possible without being directly across from it. Suddenly, he heard a scuffling sound from the stairs. He glanced up to see the source of the noise, and after a moment it revealed itself. It was an absolutely gorgeous stallion, with a shining golden coat and striking green eyes. He had a strong jawline, accentuated nicely by his brown stetson hat. He had a vest to match the hat with expert stitching, and behind it on his muscular rump was a cutie mark of a single large red apple. His tail and mane were a beautiful compliment of light orange and blond, and they flowed gracefully down his legs and neck, respectively, seeming to point directly to his ass like a series of arrows saying "insert here." "Hey, AJ," he said in a less pronounced variant of Applejack's own country drawl, "where are the towels? I was thinkin' of gettin' in a quick shower." "In the closet a couple trots down from the bathroom, top shelf." "Thanks, cuz." He cantered back up the stairs, leaving Brett staring at the spot where his ass had previously been. "Just as fair warnin'," said Applejack, "Ah'm not sure what ya'll humans accept, but Ah think Ah should let ya know. Braeburn's one o' them stallions what lives the 'alternative lifestyle,' if ya catch mah drift." "You don't say?" he muttered, ideas suddenly blossoming in his brain. He turned to Applejack. "So where's he from, again?" "Well, he's originally from 'round here, but most recently, a couple years ago, he moved to Appleloosa. Tiny little frontier town, quite a ways south. He's always been a wanderer; probably gonna leave Appleloosa 'fore too awful long. Ah keep waitin' for him to meet some nice stallion and settle down, but that don't look to be happenin' anytime soon." "So, you're okay with his sexuality?" "Are you kiddin'? One o' mah best friends goes both ways and Ah've been, uh... leanin' a bit mahself in recent years." "You come by that honestly," he said. She put a hoof to her chest. "Ya'll forget who ya were talkin' to? Ah literally am Honesty!" "Of course. It's an honor to meet you, by the way, if I hadn't said that already." In the background, one could hear the water start running upstairs, signaling the beginning of Braeburn's shower. Brett managed to quickly pull his mind back to reality before it had a chance to wander far. "Well, thank ya kindly." She tipped her hat to him. "Personally, I identify as bisexual," he said with a grin. "It's nice to know there are gay ponies, too." Applejack chuckled. "Mind if I explore on my own?" he asked. "I'm better at remembering spaces if I go through them myself. "Sure, go ahead. Just make sure not to touch anything that looks important. Ah'll go help Granny with the food." She turned and walked toward the kitchen, giving Brett free rein. He wandered around the house, finding various rooms on the first floor, namely a bedroom which probably belonged to Applejack's grandmother, a closet full of rainbow-colored jars that looked extremely important, and a bathroom with a porcelain tub. As Brett was heading up the stairs, he heard the water shut off in the upstairs bathroom. He was passing by the door and noticed that it was cracked open. Ignoring all common sense, he looked inside and was immediately greeted by the beautiful sight of Braeburn's toned rump. The gold-coated colt had just pulled back the curtain and was leaning on the tub and drying himself off with a towel, his rear end facing the door. He looked even more beautiful without the hat and vest in the way. His wet mane was stuck to his neck, the water dripping slowly down his sexy body. His tail quivered and dripped water on the floor as he slowly moved the towel back and forth over his ass. If Brett did not know better, he could have sworn Braeburn was doing it on purpose. As the towel moved down his legs, he slowly revealed his body. First came his asshole, which came into plain view as his tail flicked to the side, followed by his plump, round balls. The skin was smooth save for his perineum, a thin line running from his hole all the way to the base of his slightly-unsheathed cock, which was quite an appealing shade of brown. The stallion turned, and his eyes widened as he froze in mid-towel stroke, and Brett realized he had been caught. He jumped back and tried to run away, but the stallion had other plans. "Hey!" he said, bursting out of the bathroom. "Wait!" Brett stopped and turned around to see Braeburn glaring at him, but not with as much venom as he would have thought. "What?" he said cautiously. "T'ain't nice to peek in on ponies like that." Brett sighed. "I know. The door was cracked and I... guess I couldn't stop myself." He smirked a bit. Just a bit. "So, uh..." Braeburn shuffled a bit on his hooves. "You're into stallions?" "Well, mares too. But yeah." "I've, uh... never met a human that... swung that way. 'Specially not a guy who went for stallions." "Well, it's kinda hard not to go for you," said Brett, causing Braeburn to blush adorably. "That's awful nice of ya, Mister... Aw, shucks, I don't rightly know your name." "Brett Matheson. Just call me Brett." "That's nice of ya, Brett. But I don't know if I..." He trailed off, but Brett picked it back up. "...know if you want to do something with a human?" "Well, uh..." Braeburn was looking strictly at the floor now, his cheeks glowing a fiery red. "Tell you what. How about we try it, and if you don't like it, then we can stop whenever you want?" "Wha—Now?" Braeburn was genuinely surprised this time. "But AJ and Granny are downstairs!" Brett smirked. "So we'll be quiet. You wanna do it?" Braeburn visibly hesitated, obviously trying very hard to make a decision. Eventually he did. "Well... alright. But we gotta do it real quick-like." He hurried back toward the guest bedroom and Brett followed, his dick already straining against his jeans. It seemed as if it was ready to pop out like one of those aliens if he didn't get his satisfaction soon. As they entered the bedroom, Braeburn moved toward the bed. Brett began to undo his jeans, but his fingers were having quite a bit of trouble being their dextrous selves due to his heightened state of arousal. Finally, though, he managed to work the button and pull down his jeans and briefs, and Braeburn immediately knelt down in front of him. Braeburn leaned in close and sniffed the human's junk, inhaling the exotic aroma. It smelled noticeably more musky than the average stallion, and he supposed that it had to do with the fact that humans wore such restricting clothes so often. The shaft was similar to a stallion's in length, if a bit shorter, but with no medial ring. The tip had barely any flare at all, and the urethra did not protrude as with a stallion's penis. The balls were also not nearly as smooth and did not hang quite as low. It reminded him of a picture he had seen once of a minotaur's equipment, though this was much more girthy and appealing. He looked up at Brett and, while maintaining eye contact, turned his head sideways and wrapped his deft lips around the shaft. He started at the base and slowly worked his way to the tip, then moved back down again, jerking the human's cock with his mouth. Then he finally broke eye contact to start working properly on the shaft. Braeburn suckled briefly on the tip, then moved down, gradually sinking more and more of the shaft into his mouth. Soon, it reached the back of his throat. But Braeburn was an experienced cocksucker. He suppressed his gag reflex, enabling him to swallow the member in its entirety. As his lips reached the base, he moved his lips in rhythmic motions around the shaft, kissing the skin with the thin coating of bristly hair. Meanwhile, Brett grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugged upward, pulling it off in one smooth motion, revealing his muscular torso. He threw back his head and groaned as the head of his penis passed the back of Braeburn's throat. He could feel the moist tube relax as the stallion opened his throat to take in Brett's manhood. Already, he could feel a pressure building in his balls, and he knew he was getting close. Man, this colt was good. Not one to fall into a rut, Braeburn reached up a hoof and brushed against Brett's hand. Brett moved in response and his hand was guided to the back of Braeburn's head, where he began to play with the stallion's amber-orange locks. He ran his fingers through the mane and Braeburn moaned quietly in response. "You like that, Braeburn?" he asked. The colt nodded and gave his affirmation around the dick in his mouth. "Mm-hmm." Braeburn's own erection had become hard as rock by this point and was practically pouring precum onto the hardwood floor, but it was left unnoticed as he tended to Brett's sexual needs. One of Braeburn's little quirks was that he actually got sexual pleasure from giving oral sex. Even with no direct stimulation to his own parts, sucking off somepony, or someone, went a long way toward his climax. If he tried, it would only take a minimal amount of stimulation to set him off. Brett, however, was rapidly nearing his orgasm from the stimulation that he was receiving. His hand left Braeburn's head and clenched into a fist, but the earth pony quickly placed it back where it was. "Oh, you like that?" "Mm-hmm," Braeburn said again. He grabbed the hand on his head and pushed it down, signaling Brett to be more forceful. "Oh, so you're into domination?" Braeburn did not verbally reply, but he looked up at Brett's face and the glint in his eyes told him everything he needed to know. "So you like it when I do... this?" Brett suddenly shoved Braeburn's muzzle down onto his cock, driving it deep down his throat. He finally felt and heard the stallion gag, but he quickly recovered. "Mm!" mumbled Braeburn with greater vigor. "I'm really close to cumming, babe," said Brett. "You want me to cum in your mouth?" Braeburn mumbled in affirmation again. Brett grabbed Braeburn's head with both hands and began pumping away, hammering the stallion's jaws with hard, powerful thrusts. The pressure continued to build and was close to being released. "You like that? You wanna taste my cum?" "Mm-hmm!" "Well, that must make you a cumslut. Are you my little cumslut?" Braeburn finally began working his cock, jerking the hard rod vigorously with a hoof. He could instinctively tell that Brett was close, and he wanted it all. "Mmph! Mmm!" He whined out his need, sucking with all his strength. The pounding of his muzzle was more erratic, and he knew his partner was right on the edge. "Aw, I'm gonna cum!" said Brett, forcing Braeburn's mouth down to the base of his cock. A thick stream of creamy jizz shot out of his dick and straight down Braeburn's eager maw, bypassing his taste buds and going directly to his stomach. Braeburn pulled back for the next few squirts, however, in order to taste his prize. "Yeah, suck up that cum," said Brett, rubbing Braeburn's head. "Eat it up like a good little slut." And Braeburn obeyed. He sucked up the thick, virile seed like his life depended on it, then slowed down and rolled it around in his mouth, savoring the taste like a wine connoisseur. A bit bitter, but with a pleasant creamy aftertaste. The thickness indicated that he had been eating plenty of veggies, and the taste suggested a diet high in protein. Once Braeburn had swallowed the remaining drops of Brett's semen, he lifted his head, fully ready to leave and forget the whole thing. However, not one to be outdone, Brett reached down and lifted him up, surprising the colt. He set Braeburn down gently on the bed. Laying on his back, Braeburn's hard cock was plainly visible to Brett, standing at attention. The pony looked at him, surprised, and he grinned. "You didn't think I'd hit and run, did you?" he said. He knelt down at the edge of the bed, greedily eyeing Braeburn's needy cock. He then lowered his head down, wrapping his lips around the tip. It tasted pretty much like a human's member, but not quite as musky. His right hand came up and grabbed the shaft, holding it steady as he started bobbing his head up and down, sucking on it. Though he was not nearly the expert on deepthroating that Braeburn obviously was, he tried his best, taking almost half the length before having to pull back up for air. As his right hand stroked the shaft, Brett's left came up to fondle Braeburn's heavy balls, massaging them for their seed. He looked up and saw Braeburn's face contorted in pleasure, writhing as he neared his orgasm. Braeburn could feel the pressure building, and he knew that he was about to blow. Despite his inability to deepthroat Braeburn's entire length, the human was remarkable with his tongue, wrapping the appendage around the shaft and flicking it over the urethra. Soon, the pleasure grew to be too much for Braeburn. The head of Braeburn's dick flared, plugging Brett's throat. As he jerked the shaft more quickly, he could feel the balls and member twitch. Brett looked up at Braeburn, eagerly awaiting the coming flood. With a grunt of ecstasy, a thick stream of jizz shot out of the earth pony's cock. Brett moaned in pleasure and swallowed, sucking down the creamy equine cum. It tasted oddly sweet, with only the slightest hint of bitterness. Several more shots followed the first somewhat less forcefully, splashing against the inside of Brett's mouth and throat and coating it in translucent white seed. Finally, after about ten seconds of riding out his orgasm, Braeburn collapsed backward, laying out fully on the bed. He sighed in satisfaction, a dazed expression gracing his face. Brett pulled his mouth off the stallion's softening cock with a pop, then laid his chin on his partner's lap, looking up at him. "Well, it was good for me," he said with a grin. "How about you?" "Yeah," sighed Braeburn dreamily. "Has it been a while since you've gotten a blowjob?" "Long time," replied the cowpony. He finally sat up and looked down at Brett, who simply remained with his chin on Braeburn's lap, the side of his head slightly smeared with the stallion's drying cum. "Well, if you're ever in town again, maybe you could come over to my place and we can do this properly." Brett got up and sat on the bed next to him. "I think I can spare some time at the next reunion," said Braeburn with a grin. Suddenly, they heard hoofsteps from downstairs. Then a voice floated up to the room that could only be that of the one producing the hoofsteps. "Braeburn! Brett!" shouted Applejack. "Soup's on! Where are those two...?" "Oh, shit!" hissed Brett, running for his jeans and racing to put them back on. Braeburn jumped to the floor and sat down, wiping away the cum on his lips and trying to hide his softening but still visible boner. Brett finally got his jeans buckled as the hoofsteps were heard ascending the stairs. He sat on the bed as if he had been talking with Braeburn, when the stallion's eyes widened. "Cum in your mane! Ya got cum in your mane!" he hissed, gesturing to the right side of Brett's head. The human quickly wiped it away, and not a moment too soon. Several milliseconds after the seed had been wiped away, the door opened to admit Applejack, minus her trademark hat. Most likely it had been hung up on a hat rack somewhere downstairs. "There ya two are!" she said. "Ah've been lookin' all over the house for ya'll." "Braeburn here was just telling me about Appleloosa," said Brett, taking the initiative. Also to save poor Braeburn the stress. "Y-Yeah," confirmed Braeburn. "I, uh, just finished the story about the trifle with the native buffalo!" He forced a smile, and Applejack seemed to eye him with suspicion. "It was a pretty exciting story," said Brett. "Well then," said Applejack, turning to him, "what was yer favorite part?" Before the human could start floundering for an answer, Braeburn cut in. "He seemed to like the part about them stealin' Bloomberg from the train," he said, still maintaining his forced smile. Applejack's expression immediately softened. "Poor Bloomberg," she said. "How's he doin'?" Braeburn let out a breath he had not realized he had been holding. "He's doin' great! I just recently cleared him up of an apple aphid infestation and he seems to be bouncin' back fine!" So Bloomberg must be an apple tree, thought Brett. They can't talk too, can they? Everything else seems to. Seemingly satisfied, Applejack looked back to Brett, and her face contorted in confusion. "Brett? Where's yer shirt?" Oh, shit! "Uh... Well, it was getting kind of hot. Humans take off their shirts when they're hot." "Why don't they just sweat?" "Uh, w-w-well, they do, it's just that, uh... it's easier?" Applejack gave him the stink eye for a moment, then looked away and instantly brightened. "Well, what are we waitin' for, then? Let's go eat!" She turned and trotted back downstairs, and Brett and Braeburn both sighed in relief. "Phew!" said Braeburn. "For a minute there, I was afraid for my life!" "No kidding," replied Brett, finding his shirt and slipped it back over his form. "Thank God she bought it." Braeburn gave him a weird look. "'God?' Who's that?" Brett facepalmed. Author's Note Finally, it's done! And finally, a gay chapter! Don't worry, more gay to come. But next chapter is going to be straight. I left a hint in another chapter; you probably know who's next.
