Loyalty Among Thieves

September 7, 2014
6:41 PM

In our top story tonight, the Payday Crew have struck at the Harvest and Trustee bank once again, this time hitting a branch in the West End. Though the crew were in and out within ten minutes, over thirty police officers were killed in the attempt to clear them out. Surprisingly, however, this time no cash was stolen that we are aware of. There is currently no clear description of what was in the vault, either from the bank’s employees, the surviving police officers or those who were taken hostage by the crew for the duration.

This is the sixth time that the crew have hit this company, so if you bank at Harvest and Trustee, we recommend getting insurance on any valuables in your deposit boxes. Where will the Payday Crew strike next? Only they know. More tonight, on the Seven O’clock News.

~~~

The van parked in a deserted alley, and Dallas was about to step out when he saw the rest of the crew looking at him. “What?” he asked, unable to tell their thoughts through only their masks. He had a pretty good idea of what they were about to say, however.

Hoxton was the first to answer. “What are we going to do about this pony?” he asked. “I mean, I’ve never seen anything like it before. And I don’t have room at my place for any pets...”

“Shouldn’t we be dropping it off somewhere?” Wolf added. “Usually, if we’re getting a package for someone else, we need to at least leave it somewhere for Bain...”

“All I was told was to keep it safe,” Bain’s voice crackled through their earpieces. “Most likely, we’ll get more instructions later, but for now, someone’s gotta keep it at their safehouse. Any volunteers?”

“I ain’t any good with animals,” Chains sighed. “Had a rabbit once, but it died about three days after I got it.”

“Mine’s way too public to bring anything in like that,” Hoxton added. “Too many people around. I’d never get in through the front or back doors.”

“I thought you said you didn’t have room for a pet?” Wolf asked.

“That too.”

“And I wouldn’t trust Wolf with anything alive,” Chains said.

“Why not?” Wolf leaned in closer, threateningly.

“I still remember that time you punched a Bulldozer to death. Anyone with hands like that shouldn’t be left in charge of anyone or anything else’s life.”

“Why, you-!”

“Calm down, fellas!” Dallas shouted, putting his hands between Wolf and Chains. “If it makes it any easier for you all, I’ll take care of it.” He pushed the door open and was about to step out, taking the pony with him, when he heard some rustling in the van. “What’s that?” he asked.

Wolf held up a few bundles of cash, apparently having completely calmed down. “Your share of what I got from that deposit box. That’s what I was doing in there: making sure the heist wasn’t a total washout.”

“Well, you’ve all got half a million inbound, or so I’m told,” Bain told them. “For now, I’ll see what I can find about looking after it.” He paused for a while, and then added, “Either way, you did good today, everyone. I’ll let you know when it’s time for another job.”

As the van drove off, Dallas looked down at the pony, which had been laid on top of the pile of money Wolf had given him. He pulled out the syringe from its neck he hadn’t seen before. The label said ‘ketamine’. Horse tranquilisers... No wonder it’s totally out of it. Sighing, he piled the money into his duffel bag and pulled the pony over his shoulders.

On days off, Dallas actually did some dry cleaning, but he’d never had many customers and he preferred it that way. The back of the building was mostly sparse, but its single most defining feature was the statue of Justice. Bain had set it up himself before calling him to Washington D.C. Somehow, placing a weight like a bundle of money on one of the scales opened a secret staircase, leading down into the safehouse. He had never tried to work out how it worked; he’d just chalked it up to Bain being a genius.

At the bottom of the stairs was a laptop and a set of security camera feeds, along with a few halls leading to various other parts of the safehouse. Dallas headed straight ahead for the vault, dumping the duffel bag there to sort out the cash later. As he looked around, he saw a box sitting on the table, containing gold coins of some kind. How the hell did anyone get in here? he wondered, making a mental note to make a security sweep later. And did they pay me in... doubloons?

It was a mystery he’d have to solve later. For now, he needed a place to keep the pony until it woke up. Upstairs was out of the question, and the vault would probably give her a panic attack, considering it had been extracted from one just before. The firing range wasn’t safe, and the mask room would probably give away too much. That only left one place.

Slowly, carefully, he laid it down in the room full of doors that he used to practice lockpicking, and cut the cables around her hooves with a Swiss army knife. How did I get myself into this shit? he wondered idly as he watched its slow, rhythmic breathing, and waited for it to wake up.

~~~

Rainbow Dash had felt like she was floating in oblivion for a while, and more than once wondered if she was dead. As she started to feel her extremities once again, though, she realised that she was still alive, if only barely. “Where... am I?” As she opened her eyes, she found herself lying against a cold floor, barely able to pull herself into a sitting position.

She gasped and tried to push herself backwards when she suddenly saw a figure in front of her, hitting a wall before long. “Relax, it’s okay,” it said, raising its forelimbs. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“Get away... Please... Don’t hurt me!” she cried, barely holding herself upright.

The creature tilted its head sideways, and she stared at its blank face and fake smile. “You can talk?” it asked. From its tenor of voice, Rainbow assumed it was male, though she couldn’t tell.

“How are you... talking... without your mouth?” she breathed, wondering what was going on.

“Oh, I left my mask on. That’s...” He paused for a minute, then shook his head. “I’d probably better start over. Who are you?”

“Me? I’m... Rainbow Dash.”

“That your real name?”

“Of course! What else would I be called?!” She tried to pull herself fully standing to try and get back for his seeming insult, but he stood up well above her, and she fell back again.

Slowly, he crouched back down again. “I’m sorry, I’ve never really spoken to a pony before. And usually, they don’t say anything, either. I just assumed, it sounded like a code name. Everyone I know uses one. It’s... necessary in our line of work.”

“Are you a spy?”

“Not quite.”

Rainbow thought for a moment, then put everything together. “You’re a thief. Just my luck, to get foalnapped and then rescued by a common criminal.”

“We’re exceptional criminals, Rainbow Dash. And since we just saved your life...”

“Why did you, anyway? And how did you even know where I was?”

He stood up, shaking his head. “I’ll explain later. For now, you’d better stay here. I’ll try and get you something to eat. You look like you could use it.” He pulled something out of his pocket as he walked off, speaking to the air about whether a delivery was there yet. Pulling herself to her hooves, Rainbow followed him up the flight of stairs, wanting to see where she was.

The building around her seemed totally alien in style, like the metal room had before. Everything seemed built for a much taller race, which she supposed was only natural. There were lots of things stacked on the shelves and a few boxes with pieces of parchment attached to them. Two low beds sat in a far corner, the threadbare blankets reminding her of how cold she was herself. She walked behind a counter, out through a doorway into an enclosed space.

The buildings around and above her seemed oppressive, the dirty air and faint noises drifting in from all around feeling completely alien. The creature was there, holding a bag. “What are you doing? I told you to stay put!” She cringed back as he rounded on her again, then suddenly stopped. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m just used to people staying put when I ask them to. C’mon, you’d better get inside before someone sees you.”

“Wait. There’s something I have to do first.” Slowly, she extended her wings, then pushed down, but nothing happened. Usually, all it took was a single push, but she couldn’t get off the ground. She tried again and again, but nothing came of it. She just couldn’t take off. “Why? Why can’t I fly?” she asked ruefully. “Without my wings, I’m nothing...”

“You’re important enough that I’ve been asked to take care of you,” the other one told her, putting an arm around her. “C’mon, let’s get you something to eat.” He led her back inside slowly as she tried to hold back tears. “My name’s Dallas, by the way.”

“Is that your real name?”

“In my line of work, names are a liability. I don’t even know the names of the other guys I work with. But I answer to Dallas from them, and I will from you too.”

As they stepped into the kitchen, she thought of something else. “What about your real face? You said that was a mask. Or are you actually a clown?”

He paused for a moment, then made eye contact (presumably) with her. “I might be able to. But first, you need to promise me something. In the event that you get caught, you cannot tell anyone what I look like. They’d be able to track me down more easily. Promise me you’ll keep it secret. At least as long as you can.”

It was Rainbow’s turn to pause. Dallas was a criminal, and she should turn him in, but he’d also saved her life, and was giving her a place to stay. She couldn’t rat him out. Even in another world, where all else had failed, she would maintain her own element. Raising a hoof, she made the series of motions and sounded out the Pinkie Promise.

Dallas started laughing by the end of it. “What’s so funny?” Rainbow asked. “That’s the Pinkie Promise. It’s unbreakable!” He tilted his head slightly, but suddenly recoiled, as though he’d heard a faint voice from nowhere tell him the same thing. “I’m not gonna betray you. That’d be a totally lame thing to do. I promise. Now take off your mask.”

Sighing, he pulled it off over his head, revealing the grey eyes and brown stubble behind. “Happy now?” Rainbow nodded, and started poking inside the duffel bag, smelling apples. “Bain said that was a care package for you. Not sure what he put in it yet.” As he laid it down on the ground, Rainbow quickly pulled out a small bundle of hay, a bushel of apples and a strange device she couldn’t figure out. “An earpiece? Bain never said anything about that.”

As she munched on an apple, Rainbow asked, “Who’s Bain? You keep bringing him up...”

“Put that device in your ear, and he’ll tell you himself.” It took the two of them some fiddling, especially since Rainbow was loath to let go of her apple, but after about a minute it was securely in place. Dallas tapped his own ear, which she noticed contained a similar device. “Alright, she’s got it set up.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Rainbow Dash,” another man’s voice said suddenly, lightly crackling with static. She jumped into the air, not expecting the voice to be so close, or so loud. “Call me Bain. I give Dallas and his pals what they need to make the most of each heist.”

“So why are you giving me one of these?” Rainbow asked. “I’m not a crook. And besides, right now, I can’t fly. I wouldn’t be much use to you anyway.”

“I like to keep my bases covered. Besides, it makes it easier for me to help you. Being in direct contact with you means I don’t have to dig around on the Internet for info. There’s pretty much nothing here that tells me anything about how to deal with a Pegasus. It’s all fiction and mythology, and that’s not useful to me.”

“Wait, wait, wait. You don’t have any ponies here at all?”

“Not ones like you, anyway.”

Rainbow thought about it for a moment, looking at Dallas again. Unbidden, a memory jumped into her head. Daring Do and the Lost City. The creatures that Daring encountered, the humans, were shaped almost exactly like Dallas. She could only assume that Bain was the same. And none of the humans in the book had ever seen a pony before, either. That piece of familiarity allowed her to calm down and settle into the strangeness of the situation somewhat.

Bain’s voice crackled in her ear again, “So, where do you come from?” he asked.

Clearing her throat, she began, “Well, I’m from a country called Equestria—” At that, Dallas broke out laughing again. “Really. That’s what it’s called. Why do you keep finding these things so funny?”

Swallowing one last chuckle, Dallas apologised and said, “That doesn’t sound like any country I’ve ever heard of. The only explanation I can think of is that you’re not actually from this world.”

“So we’re dealing with an alien?”

“I can’t think of anything else she could be. Do you remember how you got here?”

“I’m afraid not... All I can remember was somepony... or someone, I guess, grabbing me. Then I was hurtling through this weird vortex-like place, injected with something, and the next thing I know, I was in that metal room.” Dallas looked at her, frowning and not saying anything. “I’m sorry I can’t be of any more help to you.”

“Well, we reckon that someone’ll be coming to pick you up soon enough. We saved you on their payroll, so they should be along sooner or later. I can track you through the earpiece, so if anything goes wrong, we can just pull you out again.”

“Thanks... I mean it.” She bit into the half-finished apple again, swallowing almost the entire thing and picking up another. “Oh yeah, who are those other guys you work with? I know you didn’t get me out of there alone...”

“You’ll probably meet them all later. For now, just get something to eat. You never wanna pass out in the middle of a job due to forgetting to take care of yourself.” He put a hand around her shoulder for a moment, before standing up to get himself something to eat.

~~~

Bain had written down everything he’d learned from the conversation Rainbow Dash was having with Dallas, but as he looked over the information again, something tugged at his mind. He’d heard the name before, but he couldn’t quite place it. He brought up a search engine he’d programmed himself to keep his data out of anyone else’s servers and typed in her name.

The only results that kept her name together were discussions of a cult TV series named My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The show had only lasted one season due to poor ratings, but had gained a cult following online. Routing through a few proxy servers, he started to download the entire series. Twenty-six episodes wouldn’t take long, and watching them would only take a little over a day. If he wanted to know more about Rainbow Dash as a pony, as well as her physiology in general, going straight to the source was the best option.

There were a few problems created by it, though. How had a fictional character wound up in reality? For that matter, how could she be gotten back? Maybe their mysterious contact had a solution to it, but who were they? And though he could be certain none of the others knew about the show, and that it wasn’t in reruns, what would happen in the event that Rainbow herself found out?

He’d have to solve those problems as he came to them, though. He had plenty of work to do.