The human

by BewhoUr

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Random, Crossover
Length: 1147

A human falls into the sky and winds up in the home of Lyra and Bon Bon. Lyra wants to keep it and do testing on it. Bon Bon wants to throw it away. The dubbed "Jason" is terrified out of his wits.

A human falls through the roof of Lyra and Bon Bon. Lyra wants to keep it and do testing on it. Bon Bon wants to throw it away. The dubbed "Jason" is terrified out of his wits.

------
Me making fun of HiE fics. I know that some are good, but most are just... meh.

Published 2014-11-11 17:50:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-11 17:50:09 UTC

Hey... can we keep him?

"Hey gorgeous!"

The metallic ring of a frying pan making contact with the counter became present, wiggling through the sound barrier and into existence where it made its clinking entrance into the house. At almost the exact same time, the pastel white mare who had caused this collisional meeting let a wide, dreading sigh escape her muzzle. She knew that call. So sugary sweet, so calm and nice that it almost sounded persuading. But Bon Bon had heard and fell for that only the first time of many. And now she knew it meant only one thing-

Lyra wanted something from her. The already exasperated candy themed pony lowered her eyelids as if hoping that when she opened them, whatever crazy scheme the minty unicorn had presented would just disappear. Because the "Hey I need a favor" voice wasn't going to be used for something good. Good sweet Celestia no. Bon Bon inhaled deeply, breathing in and out in a rhythmic pattern for a few skips of the heart before she opened her deep blue eyes- Which if caught in the right light had a tint of green.

"Yes, Lyra!"

Bon Bon smiled, hoping that her facial expression would somewhat alter her mood. What was this thing that Lyra had brought home now? The first time it was a dog. But it had three heads, and they drooled ALL OVER the new carpeting. And someone (She, of course,) had not been exactly ecstatic about it. The second time she needed a hundred bits, which Bon Bon had told her to go away.

What the heck could it be? The skeptical earth pony heard hoofbeats towards the sun flooded kitchen, and braced herself.

"LYRA!?!? WHAT THE H-"

She was cut off abruptly by the placing of a green hoof in her mouth.

"Hey, not so loud. You might scare it."

"And what exactly is IT!?"

Lyra tilted herself, leaning closer into Bon Bon and looking both ways before parting her muzzle to whisper in an excited, frazzled tone.

"I think it's a human!" The candy mare recoiled, leaning back on her hooves like a teeter totter that had just been uneven-ed. Her ears whipped back so fast you could hear a small wish.

"A human!? Lyra, where did you find this?" The unicorns golden eyes glimmered with anticipation.

"Well... I was sitting in the park after my walk to the grocery store, when I just saw this thing fall from the sky! Crazy right? So I caught it and brought it here!"

Bon Bon gulped and pinned a shakey fore-hoof in the direction of the "Human."

"Well... I want it out of the house!"

"Come on beautiful! I just wanna do some testing on it." At this Lyra set a nearby pair of scissors into a flurry of golden sparks and an amber glow as she levitated it with a small squeaky grin.

"LYRA! GET THIS THING THE HAY OUT OF HERE!" The "Thing" sat there in the same tattered clothes it had been found in, apparently badly burned and passed out. Lyra didn't appear to notice.

"But Bon Bon! We'll have the coolest pet in town!"

"LYRA!!!"

"BON BON! I AM KEEPING JASON!" Bon Bon raised a casual eyebrow and let a grown escape her muzzle.

"You named him? Really Lyra?" The unicorn didn't respond, sending the human through the air in a prison of golden radiation and half dragging him behind her as she began to trot away. Her eyes glowed with the after argument fury, but even a bystander (If any were to be had) could see the colors of her golden hues sparkling with excitement like a child with a new toy.

"You and I are going to have lots of fun Jason!"

The sound of the already opened maple door leading to the garage clicking behind the pony was another notable sound. Her hooves clicked gently down the concrete stairs, one after the other, almost slamming the door on Jason in the process. Her teeth grabbed for the light cord in the dark, snapping about almost in total random for a couple moments before the room illuminated into bright light.

Lyra placed "Jason" onto an oaken table rather roughly, practically slamming his back into the structure. She then walked quickly over to the north-most end of the table, where his head rested idly, and proceeded to lick his hair. Gently, observantly, but how would you like to wake up to a pony licking your hair?

Jason didn't love it at all. Lyra was interrupted from whatever the heck she was doing by the startled, sudden movement of the human as he jolted bolt upright, his lips parting in a panting motion. Lyra also jumped at this, her hooves lifting from the ground and flailing in midair before cascading back down and hitting the stone floor in surprisingly graceful sync.

"Jason!"

"WHERE AM I!?"

"Silly! You're in my garage!" The minty pony said with a smile so innocent you would almost believe she was up to some good. But that wasn't Jason's first reaction when he slowly turned his head to the left and saw a pony. A talking pony. A UNICORN.

His first reaction was a scream that the ponies in Saddle Arabia could have heard.

His second reaction was jolting off the table and messily starting to run for the door.

"HEY!"

Despite his tattered appearance, he seemed quite physically active. He ran faster then Lyra could, and therefore made it to the door before her, thrusting it open with a jerk of his wrist.

"Ow!" The unicorn realized that Jason had just slammed the door directly into her nose. "Come back here!" By the time that Lyra had actually managed to find her key (Stupid Jason locked the door on her, and Lyra didn't always carry a key. Even if she did, she rarely knew where it was.) she figured Jason would be long gone. She burst out the door with the fury of a hurricane, her hooves almost slipping and tripping on the sudden change of stone to tile. "WHERE IS JASON!?" Bon Bon poked her head out from behind the wall of the kitchen, smiling slightly.

"Oh. I haven't the slightest clue. Maybe he ran away." At this notion, Lyra got a panicked look and slipped across the floor, a green flurry as she nearly crashed into the door and finally managed to open it and jump through its open view, all the while screaming "JASON!" The candy mare raised an eyebrow once more and calmly walked over to the kitchen cabinets, gripping one of the handles securely with her teeth and pulling it open to reveal a crouching, shivering Jason.

"OK. Now go. Go fast!"

Author's Note

Its been too long since I did something like this... So here :3