Rewriting Workshop

by ChucklesMcJingleberry

Rating: mature
Tags:
Length: 2394

I use this story for rewriting horrible fucking bullshit.

Holy crap, I am a good person! :rainbowlaugh:

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-06 22:16:41 UTC

Dark Hopes - Prelude (Original) [xxShadowSparklesXx]

Hello my name is Shadow Sparkle and this is my story. I am one of those ponies that often get over looked, and the reason of that is that my brother Shiny Armor is married to a princess, and my sister Twilight is a star student of Princess Celestia, and I am still in magic kindergarten barely even know how to levitate anything not even a pen.

"Shadow Shadow its your turn." The teacher Mystical Book called." Its your turn for the test."

'Huh oh OK." I said nervously

I got up from my desk.

"Shadow your test will be to lift anything of your favor." Mystical Book said while getting a clipboard ready.

I never gotten the hang of magic yet. Only reason why I am in magic kindergarten is when I was beginning to practice it and Twilight keep on interrupting me and kept on messing me up by using her magic to stop me from levitating something, and since she is way stronger than me in magic I couldn't get stop her. Igotten really angry and grasp her with my magic and sent her flying across the room, but after that I couldn't even levitate a pen.

"I choose a small workbook please." I said pointing to a workbook that is about 30 pages. I study  last night to get ready for the test.

"OK Shadow you will have to levitate this workbook up in the air for 10 seconds." Mystical Book explain."You may begin."

I gulped and look at the book. I felt petrified as the other students were staring me down unable to do anything. I gather up some courage to do what I was asked. I felt my horn get warm and I looked up and a purplish aura surrounded my horn. A small wave of joy swept over me as I gain confidents as I focus on the book. The book shake as it slowly lifted in the air up to my head.

I whisper as I struggle to keep the book a float," 1,2,3,4,5....8,9.”

I let out a gasp of air and the work book landed on the floor with a slight thud.

"Did I do it Ms.Book?" I asked with excitement.

"Shadow you did good, and you almost past." Mystical Book said as she gived a small smile.

"Almost what you mean I let go a ten didn't I?” I said in disappointment and confused.

"Well Shadow you let go at nine, and you improve a lot I am surprise" Mystical Book said with reinsurance.

I turned around and went back to my desk. Even though Ms.Book try to help me feel better I was sad. I am always getting picked on afterschool by the other unicorns and its all because I don't know how to use my magic that good. The bell rang. I ran as I tried to get a head start to home but I was blocked by two unicorns just right after I ran out the door.

"Where you think your going blank flank good for nothing unicorn." A taller blue pony said while getting closer to me.

'Home. I am going home. Where else?" I said trying not to looked scared.

"You know you aren't strong without your sister to protect you." The blue stallion said with a malicious smile.

I forgot today Twilight was going to PonyVille today.

"Well before you head home how about a little game." An orange stallion said as they started to walk towards me.

I bolted past between an small opening between the orange and blue stallion.

"Get back here we didn't even play." The orange stallion said

"It looks like he wants to play tag." The blue stallion said as he started to chase after me.

I only know one hiding spot where I know they can't find me, but I need some distance between us. I ran past the bakery and inside the restaurant, and then out through the back. I kept on running. I didn't even looked back to see if they were actually chasing me. I took a sharp turn inside a cave and hid in a corner. I heard galloping across the mouth of the cave. I took a deep breath, and thought to myself. "Forth time failing that stupid test." I started to cry a little. "Why am I not as good as Twilight or Shiny Armor, or any unicorn at magic. Why?"

The fact that I was getting chased by older unicorns didn't bother me. What really bother me was the fact that I can't use really my magic. No matter what I do. I just can't use my magic properly. I heard a light thud outside the cave. I look up from my resting place to see a alicorn with a pitch black coat similar to mine and she also have light blue armor on. I decided to walk towards the alicorn.

"Hello?" I said nervously

"Aww a young colt." The alciorn said in disgust,"Are you scared now for what just happen?”

"No all I see is you raising the moon." I said while looking up. "I come up here to look up at the night sky and look at the stars, but tonight the are even brighter."

"Really? I never thought anyone appreciate my night sky, but the night will last forever." The alicorn said with an softer tone but turn harsh as quickly as it came.

"Miss may I ask you your name." I said a little freighten

The alicorn stood there and the said in a calm voice." I am a nightmare, forced to be one. I know I want night to be forever but I want my sister to forgive me. I know I will fail. I hope I fail so I can be with my sister again if she forgives me. I been on that moon for a thousand years I know my wrongs I just want her to forgive me. I know you come here to hide I seen you hide here when I was on the moon. May I asked why you are hiding?"

I let out a sigh and then said, "I am getting bullied by older unicorns and I usually do come here to get away from them."

"Why young colt." The alicorn said

"I am weak." I sadly said."I can't use my magic properly."

The alicorn shifted and faced me and then her horn glowed a dark blue aura and said." I don't know if this will help any but here. If I remember you I will visit you. I know I will get defeated and the sun will rise, but I don't care if I am a nightmare or not I don't want any filly to get bullied."

An blue orb about a size of an golfball came out of her horn and into mine. I felt an large surge of power in my horn.

"I don't know the consequences of this when I am in this form. When I give magic I can't keep out the dark that which will confuse you, but you are truly strong. Until we meet again going colt I say farewell."

The alicorn unfolded her wings and took off at amazing speeds. As I sat there looking up in the sky I thought to myself."She isn't a nightmare."

Dark Hopes - Prelude (Modded) [xxShadowSparklesXx]

Hello, my name is Shadow Sparkle and this is my story. I am one of those ponies who often got over looked, and the reason for that is that my brother, Shiny Armor, is married to a princess, and my sister, Twilight, is a star student of Princess Celestia. That, and I am still in magic kindergarten. I barely even know how to levitate anything, not even a pen.

"Shadow! Shadow! It's your turn." The teacher, Mystical Book, called. "Its your turn for the test."

'Um... Okay." I said, nervously. I got up from my desk and walked over to Mystical Book.

"Shadow, your test will be to lift any object of your choice." She said while getting a clipboard ready. I hadn't gotten the hang of magic yet. The only reason why I was still in magic kindergarten is that when I was beginning to practice it, Twilight kept messing me up by using her magic to stop me from levitating something. Since she was way stronger than me with magic, I couldn't stop her. She annoyed me so much, I sent her flying across the room. But after that, I was so exhausted I couldn't even levitate a pen.

"I choose a small workbook, please." I said pointing to a workbook that is about 30 pages.

"Alright, Shadow. You must levitate this workbook in the air for 10 seconds. You may begin." I gulped and look at the book. I felt  like every single eye in the room was glaring at me. I gathered up the courage to do what I was asked. I felt my horn get warm and I looked up at a purplish aura surrounding my vision. A small wave of joy swept over me as I gained confidence. I focused on the book: it shook as I slowly lifted it in the air up to my head.

I whispered as I struggle to keep the book a float," 1,2,3,4,5....8,9.” I let out a gasp of air and the work book landed on the floor with a slight thud.

"Did I do it?" I asked with excitement.

"Shadow, you did good, and you almost passed." Mystical Book said as she gived a small smile.

"Almost? What do you mean, I let go at ten didn't I?” I asked in disappointment and confusion.

"Well, Shadow, you let go at nine. But you improved a lot, I'm impressed!!" Mystical Book said with assurance. I turned around and went back to my desk. Even though Ms.Book tried to help me feel better I was sad. The bell rang. I ran as I tried to get a head start to home but I was blocked by two unicorns just right after I ran out the door.

"Where do you think your going, blank flank, good for nothing unicorn." A taller blue pony said while getting closer to me.

"...I'm going home... Where else?" I put some sass into that last bit, trying not to sound scared.

"You know you aren't strong without your sister to protect you." The blue colt said with a malicious smile. I forgot that today Twilight was going to Ponyville.

"Well before you head home, how about a little game?" An orange colt said as they both started to close in me. I bolted past between them, and ran for my life.

"Get back here! We didn't even play." The orange colt said.

"It looks like he wants to play tag." The blue colt said as they started to chase after me.

Knowing only one hiding spot where I know they can't find me, I ran past the bakery and inside the restaurant, and then out through the back.  I didn't look back once. I took a sharp turn inside a cave and hid in a corner. I heard galloping across the mouth of the cave. I took a deep breath, and thought to myself. "Fourth time failing that stupid test." I started to cry a little. "Why am I not as good as Twilight or Shiny Armor, or any unicorn at magic. Why?"

The fact that I was getting chased by older unicorns didn't bother me. What really bothered me was the fact that I can't use really my magic. No matter what I do. I just can't use my magic properly. I heard a light thud outside the cave. I looked up from my resting place to see an alicorn with a pitch black coat similar to mine and light blue armor on. I decided to walk towards the alicorn.

"Hello?" I said nervously

"Aww a young colt." The alciorn said in disgust,"Are you scared now for what just happen?”

"No all I see is you raising the moon." I said while looking up. "I come up here to look up at the night sky and look at the stars, but tonight the are even brighter."

"Really? I never thought anyone appreciate my night sky, but the night will last forever." The alicorn said with an softer tone but turn harsh as quickly as it came.

"Miss may I ask you your name." I said a little freighten

The alicorn stood there and the said in a calm voice." I am a nightmare, forced to be one. I know I want night to be forever but I want my sister to forgive me. I know I will fail. I hope I fail so I can be with my sister again if she forgives me. I been on that moon for a thousand years I know my wrongs I just want her to forgive me. I know you come here to hide I seen you hide here when I was on the moon. May I asked why you are hiding?"

I let out a sigh and then said, "I am getting bullied by older unicorns and I usually do come here to get away from them."

"Why young colt." The alicorn said

"I am weak." I sadly said."I can't use my magic properly."

The alicorn shifted and faced me and then her horn glowed a dark blue aura and said." I don't know if this will help any but here. If I remember you I will visit you. I know I will get defeated and the sun will rise, but I don't care if I am a nightmare or not I don't want any filly to get bullied."

An blue orb about a size of an golfball came out of her horn and into mine. I felt an large surge of power in my horn.

"I don't know the consequences of this when I am in this form. When I give magic I can't keep out the dark that which will confuse you, but you are truly strong. Until we meet again going colt I say farewell."

The alicorn unfolded her wings and took off at amazing speeds. As I sat there looking up in the sky I thought to myself."She isn't a nightmare."