Author's Note

Aaaand. Chapter completed! Fast paced, I know. Short, I know that too. Done, I know, I'm the one who typed it. Enjoy!

Try Another Castle

Max had done it. After hours of painstaking hard work, toiling away at a hunk of metal, he had done it. Max had created the first handheld Disruptor Laser.

With the generator disguised as the magazine, it looked like an assault rifle, and functioned like one too. He discovered the reason why his ship cannons fired so slowly was because the weapons had to condense and collect a large amount of antimatter, taking up precious time from something where every second wasted could mean death. Now, however, his DIY assault rifle was small, compact, mobile, and effective.

“Damn, that took too long. Creep, are you still there?” Max grunted, leaning back from his new creation.

“No.”

Max frowned under his helmet, “Geez, a little antisocial aren’t ya?” He picked up his gun and sighted down the scope, grinning as he pulled the trigger. Immediately a torrent of red beams of light spewed from the barrel, lasers never wavering from their line of flight. They impacted the hill he targeted, each shot penetrating a few feet. Max released his finger from the trigger, and began laughing.

“Hahahahahahahahahaha, oh FUCK YEAH! This is the greatest thing EVER!” He crowed, his maniacal grin hidden beneath his helmet. “Now to start digging out my ship…” His tone did a 180, as he grimaced to the giant pile of dirt smothering the front of the Radiant. He got to work.

“Fuck this, I’m going on an adventure.” Max groaned, stretching his aching back. He could now see a few feet more of his ship, but he just didn’t have the strength- or the manpower- to remove the soil. He jumped down from the side of the mound, snagged his newly designated AR-DL, and walked away, making sure to set a waypoint for the crash site. Walking along, he reexamined his situation. He was trapped on an unknown planet, his ship was half-buried, humanity was dead except for him, and the only company he had wasn’t even alive, nor imaginary. On the other hand, he had his ship, himself, and a really cool-looking gun. “Eh, that’s a win in my books.” Max shrugged, before noticing he had wandered into a forest.

“What?! I was hardly walking that long, and I sure as hell would’ve noticed it got dark!” He cursed, gazing about the gloomy surroundings. In front of him lay a bridge, composed of wooden planks and some rope. Beyond that was a decrepit castle, mold and vines seeping between the many cracks. “This better not be some bad movie, because this is pretty damn cheesy.”

Max strode across the bridge, wooden planks creaking under his weight with every step. He reached the end, and walked up to the rotting doorway. “Lessee. Mildew, check. Rusty hinges, check. Ominous door knocker, check. Group of Technicolor ponies staring at me, che-...” Max stopped rattling off the signs of the classic evil castle, and blinked. “Still there,” He muttered, peering into the darkness at the odd creatures.

Max threw his arms into the air and said, “Fuck it. Sorry, try another castle!” He shouted, walking away from the hallucinations.

=============== Castle of the Two Sisters ===============

The new Element Bearers and two Princesses stared at the doorway in disbelief. “What in tarnation?” Applejack said, blinking owlishly. That was the only sound for a while, as the ponies contemplated the strange biped’s actions… And words.

“Do you know what this calls for?” Pinkie Pie shouted, before they suddenly appeared at Ponyville, with ponies streaming towards a celebration.

“Ummm…. What just happened?” A familiar voice spoke from nearby, and the group of eight turned towards the source. Standing stock still, was the creature from earlier.

“I mean, seriously. I’m heading back to my ship, and suddenly I’m here. Just… What the actual fuck.” It muttered, before sitting down, head in it’s claws.

It turned to the ponies, “What’re you looking at? I’m having a mental-breakdown here!” It snarled, before getting up and walking away.

“Umm… Should we go after it?” Twilight asked, looking at Princess Celestia.

“I think that would be wise, Twilight.” The Princess replied, beginning to follow the strange biped. The other ponies shrugged, before joining her.

=============== Unknown Planet, Unknown Sector ===============

Max kept walking, grumbling, “Okay, somehow I crash here, find ponies, walk away, and get teleported back to the ponies. What the fuck is going on?” He kicked a stone in his way, watching it skip erratically away… Only to land at his ship. Max blinked, before whirling around. “Okay, what?! I was just there… And then I’m here… And… There are those ponies again. Please go away, I’m trying to figure out why I always seem to conveniently appear at some random place, with you usually there.” He grumbled, waving off the quadrupeds.

Then he realized that they looked disoriented, with expressions of confusion prominent. Then, unbelievably, one of them spoke, “Well, THAT just happened.”

Max glowered at it, stormed into his ship, shut the hatch, took off his helmet, and sat in the pilot seat.

“The ponies will not go away if you ignore them,” the Mega Brain spoke, reappearing on his comms. “They are not a figment of your imagination.”

“And how would you know? You’re dead, you useless piece of shit!” Max snarled.

“You forgot that I know all.”

“Then tell me this: how the hell do I get out of this place? I need to get back out to space, you know that? Planets are unbearable. I can stand HQ, but then, I can easily head back out and mindlessly blast forward. It’s peaceful. But here? I’m being followed by talking multicolored horses, my ship is buried, and I’m talking to an alien freak that I killed!”

All Max received was silence for his effort. He shook his head, before leaning back and falling asleep.

He could only think of one thing as darkness overtook him, and that was that he didn't sign up for this shit.