Radiant

by Lord Shaxx

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Other, Adventure, Crossover, Gore, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna
Length: 2220

Max Blaster has died... Or so he thought. His ship has crashed, there are talking ponies everywhere, and he sure as hell isn't in his universe. What can a hero do when everyone is gone?

Max Blaster, hero of humanity, ace star pilot, and bane of the creeps...
Has died. Lost thousands of years in the past, the rest of mankind eradicated, and a dead hyper-intelligent ugly alien's last messages for company, he's gone out the only way he's known: sending as many creeps to hell as he can. But what can he do when he's gone?

I do not own the image used, nor did I create it. It is the official picture used when opening up the app.

Published 2014-11-09 09:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-26 00:39:19 UTC

Et Tu, Creep?

Author's Note

I just thought about potential situations if the Radiant universe crossed over with MLP, and this happened. I know I have to work on the other stories, but... I'm not really finding the inspiration to work on them right now. Also, I know this is (really) fast-paced, but... I dunno, I just can't figure out how to add detail to this chapter to slow down the pacing. Anyway, go try Radiant if you haven't, it's an awesome game/app. Amazing twist on the classic Galaga/Space Invaders games.
So, enjoy.

Et Tu, Creep?

Max Blaster sat in the pilot seat of his prized ship, the Radiant. His hands gripped the controls until they were white, as his steely gaze remained focused on the floating abomination before him. Ahead of the human was a massive, greenish octopus, which kept bouncing around, just barely keeping in his sights. Suddenly the large orange eye on its enormous forehead blinked, signaling Max for another round of the dance. He switched one hand over, flipping a switch and activating the automatic fire mode for his weapons. With a smooth vwoop sound, four crimson lasers strode from his cannons, piercing through the alien.

The Allfather creep spasmed in pain, before flinging its tentacles out and launching a barrage of blazing balls of plasma, the streams of roiling death incredibly difficult to dodge. “Hey ugly, do you have any way of stopping your dad from burning me up?!” Max yelled, seemingly at nothing.

An eerie smile appeared on his HUD, in the comms box. “I have no suggestions except to turn left to avoid the fireball coming right for you,” it spoke, raspy voice crackling.

“You’re not very helpful, you know that?” Max snarked, rolling his ship to avoid said shot. “Oh shit!” He shouted, veering to the right as another orb clipped the wing, tearing away a good portion of the shields. Another set of lights launched, his Disruptor Laser firing beams of antimatter and warped gravity, slicing through the thick skin of the Allfather. “Come on, you ugly son of a bitch… Just die already!” Max cursed, snarling as the creep resisted wound after wound.

“Hey genius, what do you think my chances of survival are?” He questioned, corkscrewing between plasma blasts.

“Nil.” Came the monotone reply of the entity, before the comms faded in a flash of white.

“Why do you- oh, mother fucker.” Max groaned, seeing a particularly large fireball loom in front of him, too late to dodge. It splashed across the Radiant, melting through most of the armor, leaving just a relatively thin layer left. Max blinked, beginning to grin as he saw he was alive. “Ha! Nice try, you bastard!” He crowed, pulling the trigger to manual fire the Disruptor Laser. It clicked, but nothing fired. “Oh, goddammnit… Of course it destroyed the guns.”

That was all Max managed to say before the Allfather of the creeps, sensing its victory, paused before unleashing an enormous ball of plasma, completely removing all signs of the last human.

=============== Equus, Castle of the Sisters===============

Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity all floated, basked in a colorful glow as the Elements of Harmony began to reform while Twilight named each one. “You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the... the spark, that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the element of... magic!” She began to finish her monologue, only for a massive roar to stop it.

A beam of Harmony launched forward and hit Nightmare Moon, right as a huge burst of fire appeared outside the tower. The ruins quaked, not just from the Nightmare being banished, but from the sheer energy that was emanating from the crackling portal outside. The ponies had no time to contemplate it, for a large white object was forcefully ejected, trailing smoke and smashing through multiple walls. The six mares and one purified Luna looked out, watching the wreck steer above the Everfree, only to vanish from sight with a massive bang.

“Umm… Twilight, what in tarnation was that?” Applejack queried, glancing at the lavender unicorn.

“I… Don’t know.” Twilight replied, turning around and spotting Princess Celestia landing on a balcony, daintily avoiding the rubble.

None of the ponies noticed the small, red creature that slipped out of the portal, nor the swarm of other multicolored ones, which followed the first.

The portal collapsed.

=============== Crash Site, Unknown Planet ===============

Max Blaster laid in the cockpit of the Radiant, unconscious. A steady flash of red, accompanied with the word DANGER, glowed on his HUD, beeping ceaselessly. The human stirred, lifting his head up and looking about. “Ugh… What the… What the hell happened?” He questioned, blinking to clear his blurry vision. Slowly the warning symbol came into focus, and Max immediately snapped to alertness.

“Shit, shit, shit… What is it… Asteroid field? More creeps?” He panicked, eyes flicking between the various sensor readings and his HUD. Finally his gaze rested on the outside, or rather, the large pile of dirt covering the cockpit.

“This is hell, isn’t it.”

Nothing responded, except the beeping from the DANGER sign.

“Fuck it, I’m getting out of here.” Max clambered out of his seat, striding to the back of his ship, where the entry hatch sat. He flicked a lever, unsealing the airlock, before snagging an angular blue helmet and putting it on. A green visor, matching the shield of his cockpit, slid across his eyes, slowly lighting up with a replica of the ship HUD. Satisfied that everything was working, Max left the Radiant.

He stepped out, only to be blinded by the light. A large yellow orb sat in a perfectly blue sky, and he was surrounded by hills on all sides. The human turned around and looked at his ship, then the mound it had buried partially into. “Goddamnit… I can handle alien creeps, I can sweep through an asteroid field, but I can’t dig out my damn ship…” Max growled, kicking a loose piece of metal attached to a wing.

Said piece snapped off, narrowly missing the human with a crimson beam that fired from one end. Max stumbled back, before walking to the Disruptor Laser. “Fucking-ay, why couldn’t you work earlier?!” He picked it up gently, taking care to point the barrel at the ground. “I should be able to get something out of this… Maybe a handheld version…”

Max sat down, pondering his situation. He was stranded in an unknown area, his precious ship was stuck under a mound of dirt, he was most likely dead, and he had a single working Disruptor Laser. And a bunch of tools and spare parts in storage on the Radiant, he realized. Being stuck thousands of years in the past with no commercial shops forced him to learn how to upgrade his ship on his own, as well as make repairs. He could make a handheld Disruptor Laser… But he also had to get back home.

“Decisions, decisions…” Max sighed, resting his head in his arms.

This was going to take a loooong time...

Try Another Castle

Author's Note

Aaaand. Chapter completed! Fast paced, I know. Short, I know that too. Done, I know, I'm the one who typed it. Enjoy!

Try Another Castle

Max had done it. After hours of painstaking hard work, toiling away at a hunk of metal, he had done it. Max had created the first handheld Disruptor Laser.

With the generator disguised as the magazine, it looked like an assault rifle, and functioned like one too. He discovered the reason why his ship cannons fired so slowly was because the weapons had to condense and collect a large amount of antimatter, taking up precious time from something where every second wasted could mean death. Now, however, his DIY assault rifle was small, compact, mobile, and effective.

“Damn, that took too long. Creep, are you still there?” Max grunted, leaning back from his new creation.

“No.”

Max frowned under his helmet, “Geez, a little antisocial aren’t ya?” He picked up his gun and sighted down the scope, grinning as he pulled the trigger. Immediately a torrent of red beams of light spewed from the barrel, lasers never wavering from their line of flight. They impacted the hill he targeted, each shot penetrating a few feet. Max released his finger from the trigger, and began laughing.

“Hahahahahahahahahaha, oh FUCK YEAH! This is the greatest thing EVER!” He crowed, his maniacal grin hidden beneath his helmet. “Now to start digging out my ship…” His tone did a 180, as he grimaced to the giant pile of dirt smothering the front of the Radiant. He got to work.

“Fuck this, I’m going on an adventure.” Max groaned, stretching his aching back. He could now see a few feet more of his ship, but he just didn’t have the strength- or the manpower- to remove the soil. He jumped down from the side of the mound, snagged his newly designated AR-DL, and walked away, making sure to set a waypoint for the crash site. Walking along, he reexamined his situation. He was trapped on an unknown planet, his ship was half-buried, humanity was dead except for him, and the only company he had wasn’t even alive, nor imaginary. On the other hand, he had his ship, himself, and a really cool-looking gun. “Eh, that’s a win in my books.” Max shrugged, before noticing he had wandered into a forest.

“What?! I was hardly walking that long, and I sure as hell would’ve noticed it got dark!” He cursed, gazing about the gloomy surroundings. In front of him lay a bridge, composed of wooden planks and some rope. Beyond that was a decrepit castle, mold and vines seeping between the many cracks. “This better not be some bad movie, because this is pretty damn cheesy.”

Max strode across the bridge, wooden planks creaking under his weight with every step. He reached the end, and walked up to the rotting doorway. “Lessee. Mildew, check. Rusty hinges, check. Ominous door knocker, check. Group of Technicolor ponies staring at me, che-...” Max stopped rattling off the signs of the classic evil castle, and blinked. “Still there,” He muttered, peering into the darkness at the odd creatures.

Max threw his arms into the air and said, “Fuck it. Sorry, try another castle!” He shouted, walking away from the hallucinations.

=============== Castle of the Two Sisters ===============

The new Element Bearers and two Princesses stared at the doorway in disbelief. “What in tarnation?” Applejack said, blinking owlishly. That was the only sound for a while, as the ponies contemplated the strange biped’s actions… And words.

“Do you know what this calls for?” Pinkie Pie shouted, before they suddenly appeared at Ponyville, with ponies streaming towards a celebration.

“Ummm…. What just happened?” A familiar voice spoke from nearby, and the group of eight turned towards the source. Standing stock still, was the creature from earlier.

“I mean, seriously. I’m heading back to my ship, and suddenly I’m here. Just… What the actual fuck.” It muttered, before sitting down, head in it’s claws.

It turned to the ponies, “What’re you looking at? I’m having a mental-breakdown here!” It snarled, before getting up and walking away.

“Umm… Should we go after it?” Twilight asked, looking at Princess Celestia.

“I think that would be wise, Twilight.” The Princess replied, beginning to follow the strange biped. The other ponies shrugged, before joining her.

=============== Unknown Planet, Unknown Sector ===============

Max kept walking, grumbling, “Okay, somehow I crash here, find ponies, walk away, and get teleported back to the ponies. What the fuck is going on?” He kicked a stone in his way, watching it skip erratically away… Only to land at his ship. Max blinked, before whirling around. “Okay, what?! I was just there… And then I’m here… And… There are those ponies again. Please go away, I’m trying to figure out why I always seem to conveniently appear at some random place, with you usually there.” He grumbled, waving off the quadrupeds.

Then he realized that they looked disoriented, with expressions of confusion prominent. Then, unbelievably, one of them spoke, “Well, THAT just happened.”

Max glowered at it, stormed into his ship, shut the hatch, took off his helmet, and sat in the pilot seat.

“The ponies will not go away if you ignore them,” the Mega Brain spoke, reappearing on his comms. “They are not a figment of your imagination.”

“And how would you know? You’re dead, you useless piece of shit!” Max snarled.

“You forgot that I know all.”

“Then tell me this: how the hell do I get out of this place? I need to get back out to space, you know that? Planets are unbearable. I can stand HQ, but then, I can easily head back out and mindlessly blast forward. It’s peaceful. But here? I’m being followed by talking multicolored horses, my ship is buried, and I’m talking to an alien freak that I killed!”

All Max received was silence for his effort. He shook his head, before leaning back and falling asleep.

He could only think of one thing as darkness overtook him, and that was that he didn't sign up for this shit.