|House M.D|Relapsing

|House M.D|Relasping

Jeez...

"Okay, open wide and say 'aaaaaahhhh!'!"

"Uhhhhhhh!"

Jeez....

"No, 'Ah'! Like you're in a scary movie Ms. Pinkie Pie,"

"Doctor Redheart, is this really necessary? I mean I could be throwing the best birthday blow out in all of Equestria! It's Button Mash's birthday next month!"

"And I'm sure it'll go wonderful," I really wished she would shut the hell up so I can place the popsicle stick into her mouth, when she finally did pipe down, I pressed it against her tongue and peered into her mouth. There was a lot of mucus on the back of her tongue and esophagus.

The most dreadful place I could ever be in since my promotion to Dean of Medicine, the place that is rumored among nurses to be cursed since almost every pony to role his job in the exam room to become physically injured or have a mentally  stress related incident like The Fight of '87.

I personally think that the first pony to apply for a doctor role in the clinic for anything would be working here and not see the light of day until he looks like a ponified Diamond Dog. To be dreadfully honest, I really don't think I am going to make it through the entire day without having to check my mane for a few locks of grey.

As for the patient, The Element of Happiness, is a female earth pony. Her coat was bright pink, her hair only a tinge darker. She came in complaining about her tempature rising beyond normal and a horrible cough, I was going to pass it off as a regular cold until I noticed. Her body tempature was crazy high, yet, she only had a cough.

"Doctor? My throat is hurting! Twitchy tail! Shaking Body! Floppy ears! Itchy nose! Itchy NOSE!" The patient's tail started to twitch violently, which caught my attention quickly. I raised up a pocket light to check the mare's eyes and they did not diliate to my surprise. Her body start to jerk and her hind legs  bucking, but the pink mare was breathing normally. Was this a seizure, or a panic attack?! I held her down to the table and crinkled her maw upwards, the esophogus and back of the tongue was still covered in mucus. The only thing is--

The mucus was sizzling, like egg whites on a skillet with the tempature of the stove set on high! When mucus heats, it will harden and suffocate her! That or bounce around until the bogies are like unstable protrons and burst through her chest.   Her eyes were frantically moving, a crazed smile on her lips as she breathed quicker now. Pinkie Pie jerked around and twitched violently.

"Nurse! Code blue! I need a Crash Cart! NURSE?!"

Youtube Video

Hi! I'm Doctor Gregory House!

No... Too flamboyant.

I'm the incredibal Doctor House, brother of Dr. Pol! I would love some painkillers! Don't put me in clinic duty!

Too off putting.

Hire me!

"God damn, it's hot..." It was my method of dealing with the heat, swearing at it until it bends to my will. No matter how many rain dances I did, the sun's beating heat always slammed into me during the day. The weather was boiling, the waves of color shone throughout my vision. The dry grass made no offer to consolation, as I was parched. The morning dew dried up before I could lap up any of the water.

I hobbled and gristled my way on the dirt road, civilization was key to my survival;  also I need people to annoy as much as possible. The path was gritty, the wet and sticky gravel stuck to my good legs, the air was tremendously humid and thick. I could swipe the air with a knife and I could rip a whole in the time and space continuam, unless there's a madman in a blue telephone box to pick my legs up and kidnap me and hold me until the sexual tension is too much where he dumps me in the cold water.

My leg was hurting, remember when I said good legs? Well, my leg's all sorts of messed up. Twisted, mangled, fried, and boiled and pickled, which one do you fancy? I can barely walk without my cane, and if I even think about jumproping... Oh I will be a happy Hobbit if I jump off of Smaug's mountain!

One sign, is all I ask. If there is a God, he would make it sure that I won't die limping in the middle of nowhere. If here was a god, he would send a Cuddy-sized ass to point me in the correct direction. However, I don't think a giant, firm, and round pair of ass cheeks will fall from the heavens as big as Cuddy's.

I felt as if I hit something hard, tripped, and now my maw is filled with (actually tasty) dirt. I felt my mpse tingle as and I inhaled and sneezed as loud as I wanted to. Spitting the yummy dirt from my mouth, much to my 'displeasure'. I stood up and brushed my body with a hood, looking at the big idea who decided to trip me.

The sign was standing up strong still, but wood splitners pelted my pale cream coat. I hissed in minor pain, I managed to land on my bad leg. It hurts like I was recieving a defibbulator directly on exposed bone, only to top off my dehydration.

I only ask of two things for now: Water and five thousand drums of Vicodin. If I don't get any water, I'm going to turn into Mr. Hyde! I feel like I just swallowed dust, lint, Cuddy's big ass, and wood shavings.

Most of all, I need my Vicodin or I might just swallow all of those things.