|House M.D|Relapsing

by Terminal Stage Three

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Romance, Slice of Life, Crossover, Alternate Universe
Length: 5434

For a well known Doctor, Doctor House is a complete cut off from the rest of the world. Nothing is known from the Diagnostic, however, when six undesirable, technicolor ponies interferes with his work; Vicodin won't help this pain in the neck!

http://arxielle.deviantart.com/art/Dr-Gregory-House-MLP-455888092
Source of picture!

Mysteriously a Stallion arrives into the town, and he's not very nice.

Shippings!

A mysterious stallion who claims to be in pain arrives into the quant town of Ponyville, arriving with him is series of unexplainable and lethal illnesses. Completely out of the blue, the older stallion takes a job as a Doctor in a clinic.
However, his work is interrupted arrubtly when undesirable ponies make his work much more different than it has to be. Constantly questioning his judgement and/or actions, Doctor House is going to need more than Vicodin if he's going to help this town.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-28 22:01:28 UTC

1.1 Wood shavings

|House M.D|Relasping

Jeez...

"Okay, open wide and say 'aaaaaahhhh!'!"

"Uhhhhhhh!"

Jeez....

"No, 'Ah'! Like you're in a scary movie Ms. Pinkie Pie,"

"Doctor Redheart, is this really necessary? I mean I could be throwing the best birthday blow out in all of Equestria! It's Button Mash's birthday next month!"

"And I'm sure it'll go wonderful," I really wished she would shut the hell up so I can place the popsicle stick into her mouth, when she finally did pipe down, I pressed it against her tongue and peered into her mouth. There was a lot of mucus on the back of her tongue and esophagus.

The most dreadful place I could ever be in since my promotion to Dean of Medicine, the place that is rumored among nurses to be cursed since almost every pony to role his job in the exam room to become physically injured or have a mentally  stress related incident like The Fight of '87.

I personally think that the first pony to apply for a doctor role in the clinic for anything would be working here and not see the light of day until he looks like a ponified Diamond Dog. To be dreadfully honest, I really don't think I am going to make it through the entire day without having to check my mane for a few locks of grey.

As for the patient, The Element of Happiness, is a female earth pony. Her coat was bright pink, her hair only a tinge darker. She came in complaining about her tempature rising beyond normal and a horrible cough, I was going to pass it off as a regular cold until I noticed. Her body tempature was crazy high, yet, she only had a cough.

"Doctor? My throat is hurting! Twitchy tail! Shaking Body! Floppy ears! Itchy nose! Itchy NOSE!" The patient's tail started to twitch violently, which caught my attention quickly. I raised up a pocket light to check the mare's eyes and they did not diliate to my surprise. Her body start to jerk and her hind legs  bucking, but the pink mare was breathing normally. Was this a seizure, or a panic attack?! I held her down to the table and crinkled her maw upwards, the esophogus and back of the tongue was still covered in mucus. The only thing is--

The mucus was sizzling, like egg whites on a skillet with the tempature of the stove set on high! When mucus heats, it will harden and suffocate her! That or bounce around until the bogies are like unstable protrons and burst through her chest.   Her eyes were frantically moving, a crazed smile on her lips as she breathed quicker now. Pinkie Pie jerked around and twitched violently.

"Nurse! Code blue! I need a Crash Cart! NURSE?!"

Youtube Video

Hi! I'm Doctor Gregory House!

No... Too flamboyant.

I'm the incredibal Doctor House, brother of Dr. Pol! I would love some painkillers! Don't put me in clinic duty!

Too off putting.

Hire me!

"God damn, it's hot..." It was my method of dealing with the heat, swearing at it until it bends to my will. No matter how many rain dances I did, the sun's beating heat always slammed into me during the day. The weather was boiling, the waves of color shone throughout my vision. The dry grass made no offer to consolation, as I was parched. The morning dew dried up before I could lap up any of the water.

I hobbled and gristled my way on the dirt road, civilization was key to my survival;  also I need people to annoy as much as possible. The path was gritty, the wet and sticky gravel stuck to my good legs, the air was tremendously humid and thick. I could swipe the air with a knife and I could rip a whole in the time and space continuam, unless there's a madman in a blue telephone box to pick my legs up and kidnap me and hold me until the sexual tension is too much where he dumps me in the cold water.

My leg was hurting, remember when I said good legs? Well, my leg's all sorts of messed up. Twisted, mangled, fried, and boiled and pickled, which one do you fancy? I can barely walk without my cane, and if I even think about jumproping... Oh I will be a happy Hobbit if I jump off of Smaug's mountain!

One sign, is all I ask. If there is a God, he would make it sure that I won't die limping in the middle of nowhere. If here was a god, he would send a Cuddy-sized ass to point me in the correct direction. However, I don't think a giant, firm, and round pair of ass cheeks will fall from the heavens as big as Cuddy's.

I felt as if I hit something hard, tripped, and now my maw is filled with (actually tasty) dirt. I felt my mpse tingle as and I inhaled and sneezed as loud as I wanted to. Spitting the yummy dirt from my mouth, much to my 'displeasure'. I stood up and brushed my body with a hood, looking at the big idea who decided to trip me.

The sign was standing up strong still, but wood splitners pelted my pale cream coat. I hissed in minor pain, I managed to land on my bad leg. It hurts like I was recieving a defibbulator directly on exposed bone, only to top off my dehydration.

I only ask of two things for now: Water and five thousand drums of Vicodin. If I don't get any water, I'm going to turn into Mr. Hyde! I feel like I just swallowed dust, lint, Cuddy's big ass, and wood shavings.

Most of all, I need my Vicodin or I might just swallow all of those things.

1.2 Tale Tell House

Humanity's overrated

Already my dress jacket is ruined, dirt stains everywhere!

I swear, that sign came out of nowhere! Maybe even talking about Cuddy is enough for my eyes to be blinded, or even referred to Worker's Union because of my use of sexual harassment. Whichever is faster, to be honest. Funny enough, I haven't yet seen the town of 'Ponyville'...

Ugh...

Just thinking about that name makes me sick to my stomach, or just the little bit more homosexual. I think I can feel the prise well up in me, along with my burning throat!  I need water, fast. I'm going to turn into dust if I continue walking in this heat.

I followed this trail still, it leads to the civilization that would ensure my survival and the dismay to the idiots whose day I am about to ruin with great enthusiastic additude! So that will be a plus.

As the the road starts to widen, so does my thirsty throat. (You perverts...) Hearken! I felt tingle in my throat, bothering me  with great tickling. I coughed, and spat out more dust and dirt.

The first door I seen, I knocked on it. I waited. Knocked on it harder this time, with more vigorous banging to make sure the neighbors didn't sleep this before noon spetical!

When the door opened, a smaller brown colt with tired looking eyes and a twirly hat opened the door. His eyes hung low and he yawned, he looked up finally and shook his head awake.

"Not buying anything," The colt deadpanned.

"Not selling anything," I replied, flicking my ear.

"Then whaddaya what?" The high squeaking sound of this Colt is making my ears ringing.

"A nice hairxut would sufficient, but-!"

The colt nearly slammed the door until I used a hoof to stop it.

"One glass of water..." I felt humiliating pain shoot up in my throat, biting back a cough, I pleaded. "I don't even need to come in..."

"Fine, wai-!?" The colt was about to leave until a creamy brown female escorted the darker brown one out of the way, the female shot me a look and she menacingly places her nose on mine and pushed; her ears burned red.

"We're not giving you anything! Stay the heck away from my son, you creep!" She spat,

"You're going to leave a poor, helpless cripple to die of dyhydration?" I asked, rolling must eyes. "Do I detect hypocracy or idocy? Or maby irony?"

"I'very seen those T.V shows! It starts with a innocent colt, then a foalnapper takes bit away from his single, hardworking mother!"

With that she slammed the door in my face, sounds of doors locking and bolts. The curtains reveled a pair of hateful looking eyes.

I raised an eyebrow and turned, making my way to the fountain.

Did I expect anything different?

I found a mint colored unicorn flick a gold coin in the water, so we carelessly throw gold in the water? Wonderful.

I leaned over the wall and took the biggest mouthful of water I could, slurping greedily to get the feather feeling tickle out of my throat I. I didn't care if anyone saw me, along that, I scooped the majority of the coins into my pocket.

My stomach rumbled and vibrated, barking at me to feed it. I reached in my pocket and felt around; My eyes widened when I realized what was in my hooves: Three orange bottles.

I coughed and pulled out the first bottle: No yummies.

I cleared my throat and pulled out the second bottle: One Exlier of nothing.

I prayed to Allah, hackingly coughed, and pulled out the third bottle: I felt like crying!

NO DAMN VICODIN! I threw the third bottle and coughed, feeling the pain course through my legs as tears threatened to sting my eyes. I looked back at the group d to pick up the bottle; and the Bible was right. About the Holy Grail at least.

I felt my smiling grow.

The patient's been moved to the Intensive Care Unit, or ICU, and has been there for a minute. More reports on my pager keeps flaring notifications that she's seizing constantly.

We pumped her full of Acetazolamide to stop the female from seizing, yet, the damn medicine didn't work.

"It could be Hypothelitic Gogh?" Princess Twilight Sparkle, princess of magic and/or friendship and owner of the element of magic, theroized.

"No... She would have vomited magical dust and grow a nub for a horn..." I replied.

"What does it matter what's wrong with her?! Can't you give her some magic, Twilight, and make he better?" The impatient, but caring, cyan Pegasus butted in. Rainbow Dash, the bearer of the Elements of Loyalty.

"Rainbow! You out of th' entire state of Equstria know that use of Magic is against tha law!" The accent heavy apple farmer, Applejack the bearer of the Element of Honesty, deadpanned her friend. "We ain't sure it isn't anything she ate yet either! So hold your horses rite thur'!"

"Um... I don't want to break the law... I mean... Getting Pinkie better is great and all... But I don't want to get put in prison..." The quieter voice was a pale cream cilor pegasus, Fluttershy the Element of Kindness. "Can't in be easier to know before you treat? If you don't mind me asking...."

"I got it!" Rarity, the element of generosity, exclaimed after hoofing through an entire book. "Elmo-catrigic-salim-deseeded Disease!"

"Elothothamegicsaline Desedded Disease?" I repeated, "Why?"

"Why, it fits all of her troubles!" Rarity's eyes grew, "She having a flaxseed withdrawal!"

"Pinkie was on drugs?!" Rainbow exclaimed, high pitching squeals gripping her voice.

"That's the problem, her tox' screen was clear..." Twilight grunted,

"Flaxweeds aren't a toxine, they would show up in her urine..." I replied, "I'm administrating steroids and saline to flush the drugs out of her sustem--!"

"WOWIE" One stamping of a hoof stopped me in my path locating the source of the noise. I didn't find it. "I stopped eavesdropping because I found it more sad, than erotically pleasuring, that six ponies, and especially a doctor talk, about drugs a patient never used!"

"Hey buster! Who they hay do you think you are?!" Rainbow Dash challenged the mysterious stallion, he was still in the shadows and invisible. "Come out!"

"I think my name is Laura Faust, but that would mean I am an idiot. But that would be in some crazy timeline where you six didn't act brain dead and actually assume the worst..." The voice quipped, "None of you even mentioned her heart."

"There's nothin' in her heart! No-surey!" Applejack countered, "An you best watch ypur muzzle, or Ah'll show you how we handle disrespect on tha' farm!"

"What? You tied a lasso around it and checked it?" The mysterous male mocked, "You can fight me later, Taylor Swift wanna-be."

"I don't know who you think you are, but that is no way how to treat a lady!" Rarity huffed,

"Oh... You were females? I was too busy thinking about the patient then staring under your tails, sorry that was terriably rude of me!" The mysterious man was certainly a tongue on cheek one...

"Okay, smart guy, what is it then?" Princess Twilight slide a picture of sick Pinkie Pie. Then another picture of healthy Pinkie Pie.

The male walked into the light, and we all had red flags raised in us. The male's leg was all sorts of mangled. He was holding a hospital cane which was doodled on. What was now marked with black ink was a giant H on it surrounded by a square.

"She's paler," The male commented, "Loge in her throat indicates a esophagus problem, start her on a steady supply of antibiotics. Also comb her mane from every residue of magical element there is... Oh  hw er mane darker than my... Opps, almost said it."

"You're a pervert...." Fluttershy hissed, which surprised even me.

"No, I'm Doctor House. Nice to meet you."

2.1 Chasing Rabbits

Hi! This is Gregory House; I am not able to answer the phone at the moment, please leave a message. If this is Wilson, I'm fine, not suicidal, not on drugs, coping very well with the loss of my last patient. So feel free to go about your day without worry. BEEEEP!"

"My, oh my. That stallion was very rude! All of these comebacks are only now!" Rarity continued her rant about how crude the old cream stallion was, personally I think he should have been quiet but without him; Pinkie would have been a lot worst.

It was just us three: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity and I. It was still a summer afternoon and we were helping Apple Jack with the farm since Big Mac hurt his chest while doing....

Sensual things with both a stallion and a mare... So Applejack hired  an extra hoof to pull the grod and fertilize the soil.  Rarity was more into ranting than doing anything productive, it was comepletly out of her nature...

Whilst we were doing the work, we kept bringing up the name of a certain stallion who just seemed to leave a bad taste in out mouths.

It was like we were attracted to talk about him in such a bad way, it almost scared me enough to spend some stime doing extensive research.

It was completely out of character for us to be so negative towards the very name of the stallion. It's only been a week!

The stallion was later revealed to be Doctor House, he wore a blue dress shirt with a black windbreaker. On top of that, he wore a leather jacket with unknown language on it.

He kept pulling out a prescription bottle and swallowing more than three pills. So he was a drug addict, or in pain?

My guess is pain, did any else see the torn insides of this stallion? It was like he lost something very dear in his dear in his heart, and he turns to negativity to cope with his disaster... Maybe the fact that he was lonely and wanted to stirrup trouble with us.

"What do you think, Twilight? How arrogant was that 'Doctor'?" Rainbow Dash asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I blinked.

"The stallion is rude, sarcastic, and down right noteworthy hateful..." I cleared my throat, "How--...."

"Yeah!" Rainbow agreed, bucking a tree. "I vote going over there and giving him a peice of our mind!"

"Hey Fruity Loops! Mind takin' over tha' farm, while us girls go momentarily?" Apple Jack asked her hired help, Fruity Loops. Fruity Loops was a greenish blue stallion with a red and orange messy, curly, and longish mane. His eyes were green.

From my knowledge: He was a ceareal farmer.

Huh....

His eyes seemed droopy, and he was paler than usual. The turquoise stallion was sweating profusely, like a ponified faucet. The male struggled and heaved to stay on his very hooves.

Upon further invistigation, I noticed his left eye was bloodshot. His right eye was a murky yellow.

The stallion committed, blood lacing the creamy yellow, pale bile. We were taken aback when he smiled and giggled like a filly. He was prancing around and cooing...

"C'mere! He he he.... Come here little rabbits!" Fruity Loops giggled, vomitting once more, "I just want to pet you!"

"Rainbow Dash... We just might have to see Doctor House...!"

Youtube Video

"HOUSE!"

"Mom~!!"**

I twirled my cane in circles, my office still had small boxes surrounding my new desk. I had one box filled to the brim with Vicodin bottles, I had to replenish my stash somewhere.

"You know how many Vicodin Bottles I given you?!"

"Is this a trick question? Because all I got was Vicodin and no bottles! You lying vixen,"

"House, we agreed Vicodin for Clinic Duty."

"God, you sound just like Cuddy..." I whispered, massaging my poor throbbing temples.

"Who?" She dropped her serious look for a confused one.

"My mother," I rolled my eyes, standing up with my cane. I had walked past her and down the corridor on my hind legs, the cane supporting my right one.

I never thought I could see behind the tails of some of the ponies, and I got to tell you, I am impressed by their biologic standards of hiding those things. There's not one trace of a--

"House!" A famillar annoying voice called out, to my displeasure. The three annoying musketeers was rushing towards me. I rolled my eyes pretended to not see them. That failed when the orange one kept standing before me.

Again, I rolled my eyes.

"Somepony help me! I'm being talked to by three idiots! Send back up!" I yelled to the Security Knight, or merely blew a raspberry and continued his sudoku.

"We need your help!" The purple hybrid demanded, "Let's go!"

With that they ran down the corridor and went left.

I went right.

Scew that noise.

2.2 Obvious

"Reality is almost always wrong..."

"Stop trying to not make me do my job!" I complained, "That's my job!"

"Well maybe of you quit them thur' fussin' I wouldn't hav'ta drag you!" Applejack had me by the collar of my windbreaker, and was pulling me with her teeth.

My daring escaped fruitless, as the purple hybrid Twilight Sparkle had a horn and could ruthlessly stun me and beat me to death with my own leg.

"You're doing it, there is no way out, so you might as well as to enjoy it!" Rainbow Dash decided to add her two cents, sticking her muzzle near my face. I mean if she wanted a kiss, all she had to do was ask!

"BDSM is a very nice art if practiced safely..." I remarked, that seemed to shut her up in a hurry, a big embarrassed blush seeped across her blue face.

"Once again! Treating a lady of such a position!" Rarity shrilled in my ear, she was obviously angry with how I speak to apparently the Elements of Harmony...

Kill me now...

"Shut up, Meg..." I deadpanned, blowing a raspberry at her.

"Do ya want to... Walk?" Applejack strained, I scoffed.

"No, you dragged me illegally from my work to sende to hell to repent my sins. I think I would prefer hell than a lifetime with you idiots." I reached in my pockets, pulled out a capsal bottle, popped tye top, and pulled out four Vicodin pallets and guzzled them down

Sighing, I looked back up towards the purple hybrid, "Drag me and shut the hell up, or let me go and give me his damn file so I can see what is the matter with him."

Reluctlantly, Applejack released me. I straightened out the collar of my windbreaker and blew in her green eyes. I quickly went to the counter after she swung and missed me completely.

I took the filed in my hooves and looked over the details, he committed pale yellow bile, blood in his vomiting, halluationations, and slight amnesia. His tongue was purple.

Hih...

"Boring," I dismissed, I tossed the file over the back of my shoulder and continued walking to the water cooler.

I took a plastic cone and filled it to the brim with water, I took a sipped of it and looked back to find all three of them was standing therebwith their mouths slightly open.

"What?"

"You...."

"You said...."

"Boring?"

"And? I'm not his doctor and his case is really, really boring and unoriginal." I said taking a other sip of the water. Seriously, it was obviois what the guy had. He was working on a farm.

"You're not even going to see him?" Rainbow Dash asked, her eyes suddenly burning with fury.

"Don't need to, never need to, don't want to." I told them, stepping over file and back towards the clinic. Maybe of I tell them how stoned I was on Vicodin, I can get some sleep.

"That is very selfish! He is in there in agony, and you do nothing?!" Rainbow Dash continued,

"I'm walking away, why are you still talking?" I asked rhetorically, rolling my eyes.

"Girls?! Why aren't we stopping him?! Twilight! Can't you force him to go and help Fruity Loops?!" Rainbow Dash pleaded to her friend.

"Against the Constitution of Equstrian Rights, Article Seven, Section Thirty-four, Clause Fifty-nine..." Twilight shook her head, a grave look on her face. "`No princess of any shape or form, shall force a pony to do against his will when in times of peace. For it will cause disharmony and deems grounds of tyranny and the subjugated Princess will be tried Marshal Law for treason against peace and lose her position of royalty."

I was already walking away, thinking about that purple tongue. Fruity Loops apparently had no history of decolorization, and the usual magical color residue is either blue or purple...

"Hey!"

I turned around only to bumbling pain in the side of my face. I rolled on the table, and landed on the ground. Rainbow Dash struck me...

She as about to pounce on me into full mount, when I grabbed her hoof and used my good hind leg to flip her over me. I then placed my cane onto her neck to hold her down ad the Secerity Knight placed her in hoof cuffs.

"He has magical overcharge.... It only happens when a pPony's blood received too much magic, the residue sticks to he oxygen cells. It goes straight to he head..." I said, rubbim my cheek, "Start his him on antibiotics, get his blood filtering. Drain his blood if you need a pointless confirmation..."

I turned to the three, espically Rainbow Dash.

"You want a job? Good, because you are fired."

3.1 Blank Flank

"...like the philosopher Jagger once said, 'You can't always get what you want.'"

They all are laughing at me... I can see it in their eyes... they can just stun me with every glance at me. It just seems to bother everyone when I didn't have my dress, or any other sort of way to cover myself. It just seems like I am an alien who just grew a second head. Solem Vigil, the blank flank who couldn't do anything worthwhile.

The road I just happened to take was the market place, in the middle of a summer were everyone is doing reconstruction or just there to buy some refreshments.  I decided to be like the lazy ditzy I am and to take the shortest route to my destination. The place I was aiming to go was a cottage in Whitetail woods, or at least what I thought it was calles? I might be such an idiot since I can't  even remember the name where I was supposed to go.

I stumbled slightly, looking up to find a blue pony with green spikey mane.  The mare's turquoise eyes shone annoyance,  she raised an unamused eyebrow awaiting for something.

"Watch where you're going, you unimaginative blank flank," she growled, which sprung tears to my eyes.

"I'm sorry!"

"Excuse me ma'am, my mistake!" Buffalo Shell apologized to the purple mare with, "I should watch were I'm going, nearly got sent right on my flank!"

"I'm sorry!"

With that, the mare brushed past her crying. Many looks towards Buffalo Shell were more confused than angry, because Buffalo Shell wasn't the one to get angry for no reason...

Buffalo Shell looked after the mystery female.

I brushed past her quickly, hoping for the tears to go away before somepony sees me and insults me further. I managed to put myself in some distance between me and the mare, who was glaring in my direction.

I sighed, managing to clear my tears. My eyes stung a little bit, but I paid no mind to it. I looked up at the sign, and I was heading towards the right direction.

I made my way towards the woods, finding the cottage. The dirt starting to turn into gravel was a good sign, for I knew I was going to be there on time. I looked at the gorgeous woods and smiled softly. Maybe today would be better than the last?

"For the last time, I am never going to your party!" A voice rang out, forcing me to turn around quickly. "It's been three weeks already, cancel that party and make a Happy House Never Showed Up party. Make sure no one is invited."

"Aw! It's no party without ponies there!"

"Hookers and strippers don't count as ponies, remember that!"

There was no pony around me, not one. Yet, I can hear their voices like they were next to me.

The first voice was dark, studded even. A hint of meanness in each word. The second was high pitch and squeaky, like she inhailed heluim and still talked deeply.

I felt my eyes sting once more, and upon taking my hoof to my eyes. I saw milky blood on my hoof.

Youtube Video

"We, are never-ever-ever, going to that party!" I groaned, taking my cane and twirling it between my hooves. I missed fingers almost.

"C'mon! It'all be fun, Housey!" The pink fluff nuisance still bothered me. Pinkie Pie never seemed to understand when no means no, because it's been three weeks since I moved in Ponyville that I haven't woken up to five billion balloons and a invitation card.

I have said 'No' for the ten-thousandth time now, and now she figured out my entire agenda. She follows me at work all the time now, I would have called Knight Watch but he blew a raspberry in my face and went back to secretly reading porn in his soduku.

Ever since I diagnosed Pinkie Pie, the other five wouldn't leave me be. It's like they have a certain string across my neck that would lead those mares in my general direction, it's slowly choking me to death.

I was in Exam Room Three, messing with my cane. The pink made was here for a prescribtion for a cold and excess mucus in her, and she decided to stick around for a while longer.

My pager pinged it's annoying beeps, three high pitch. I sighed and stood up, using my cane to hold my injured leg up. I never understood why my leg looked the way it does, it was only scarred. But now it looks like I stuck it in a meatgrinder and blew it up using a rocket launcher.

I skimmed over the pager, Redheart wants me in her office. All in capital letters, she gave me 'colorful' vocabulary along with it.

I walked out of the Exam Room, took a right and limped down the corridor.

I scared every foal by a mean look.

I opened the door casually, a small strut in my step. Doctor Redheart was sitting behind her desk, jotting down various of characters that I don't bother to read.

She was probably signing a subscription to Indirect T.V?

"You know the definition of Insanity?" I ask, the icebreaker I came up with is perfect.

"House!" Redheart yelled; I pretended to run my ears and scowl worse than I already am. "It's been almost a month, and I am pretty sure I gave out enough Vicodin to last the both of us a lifetime!"

"You want to move in?" I ask, leaning on my cane. I leaned forward with my eyebrows lifted, a mocked perplexed look on my face. "I prefer not unless hell is negative five, divided by zero."

"You owe me--"

"Clinic hours, yeah yeah." I dismissed, "I'm working on it, but a pink pony of fluff said otherwise."

"I have your termination slip," Doctor Redheart growled, showing me the lengthy page. The paper was pink, the ink black. It seemed to hold much more power thank it's already worth, five bits.

"You didn't give me the axe, you want something..." I deduced, to which she nodded solemly.

"You have until tomorrow afternoon to place five solved cases on my desk personally," Doctor Redheart warned. I was sure I remember this situation from somewhere...

And if I give you ten?" I asked, lowering my eyebrows.

    "Immunity to clinic duties, but you won't be paid for them."

    "You pay me thirty bits an hour," I reminded her, "Minus ten for Vicodin."

    "Clock is ticking!"

            "I've been getting dizzy a lot more than normal..." A grey mare with straw yellow hair stated when I walked into the room. Her eyes were closed, which either met she was telepathic or she was blind.

    "A whole lot more?" I question, looking back over her file. "The normal pony just doesn't get dizzy for no reason..."

    "You already know about my eyes..." She gave a cheerful smile, she opened them and I raised an eyebrow. They weren't looking in the same direction...

The mare was a Pegasus, born with a mutated variation of Opsoclonus.

Ditzy Door was her name, and Ditzy Door has a unicorn daughter.

She works at a local post office that claims no responsibility when my mailbox get's trashed for the tenth time in a row.

She takes medicine that would lower the affects of Opsoclonus...

"Ditzy... Were do you work?" I ask, a calm expression on my face. In all actuality, I was greatly disappointed in this made.

"The Post Office! Were your mail comes in or out!" She replied chirpfuly.

... I can't hold it in...

"Are you an idiot?" I ask, not even taking my eyes off of the file.

"Wh-wait... What?" She stammered, obviously confused. She stood up suddenly.

"You fly around a lot right?" I inquired once more.

"Y-yeah...?"

"My god, you are an idiot!" I grimanced, closing the file and staring at her. I couldn't believe it, she wasn't getting dizzy. She was looking in to different places because she doesn't take her medicine.

"What so you mean? I... I'm not a idiot..." Ditzy tried to counter, but a She had a sadish look tainted her face.

"You're not taking your medicine," I accused, "You have Opsoclonus, it's a dieses that makes your eye move uncontrollable. You're eye just moved to the left while your right eye didn't move an inch."

"I'm sorry... They just make me... Tired all the time..." Ditzy hung her head low.

I started writing a prescription for antidepressants and a refill of her Cyclophosphamide.

"I am also going to recommend you to chemotherapy, along with a high dosage of antibiotics afterwards. Take your damn meds."

Ditzy walked out of the Exam Room with tears in her eyes and her head down low. I poked my head through the door and called out.

"Next!"