Derpy Hooves and the Temple of the Golden Muffin
The Temple
It was a warm sunny afternoon all throughout Equestria. Birds chirped their songs as they flew through the cloudless sky. In the small town of Ponyville lived a grey pegasus with a messy yellow mane and a cutie mark that was unmistakably bubbles. But it wasn't her mane, her color, or her cutie mark that gave her her distinct look, it was her eyes. Her eyes were a beautiful gold and went off in different directions. One looking up and one looking down. Her name was Derpy Hooves.
Derpy sat on a dirty green couch in her living room reading a book. The book was large but consisted of many different tales. The one particular story she was reading was titled "The Golden Muffin". It was about an ancient tribe that lived in the Everfree Forest about a thousand years ago and tale how they came upon a small patch golden grain which they used to make a golden muffin. It mentioned that they built an entire temple to store this muffin for they believed the golden grain was a gift from the gods themselves.
Derpy finished the story. She closed the book and returned it back to the bookshelf. "Wow," Derpy said. "an entire temple for just one muffin." Her stomach growled and she just giggled to herself. "Looks like all this reading on muffins has made me hungry. Well better go make something to eat."
The wall-eyed pony made her way into the kitchen. On the counter there was a cookbook titled A Bakers Guide to Making Muffins. She opened up the book and flipped through the pages till she came across an advance recipe for Starfruit Muffins. Derpy looked at the picture of the muffin. It was light brown and orange bits on it which Derpy guessed was the starfruit. "This look delicious." She said to herself. The site of the muffin made her stomach growl again. "I've never had starfruit muffins. Or a starfruit for that matter." She smiled to herself. "I wounder if any of the markets in town sell starfruit. Well I'll never know unless I go find out for myself."
The grey yellowed maned pony flew into town with her saddle bag on her back. She landed in the center of the market place and began looking around for a fruit stall. It didn't take her long to find one so she walked over to the stall. The pony behind the counter was pink, had a curly green mane and she had a bowl of fruit for a cutie mark.
"Why hello there Ms. Hooves." She said with a sweet southern accent. "Already used up all that fruit you bought from me two days ago?"
"Not yet," Derpy said with a cheerful smile on her face. "I actually came down here to see if you had any starfruit."
"Starfruit?" The pink pony repeated with a confused look on her face.
"Yep. I found this recipe in my muffin cookbook for starfruit muffins and they just looked too delicious not to make."
"I'm sorry Ms. Hooves but I don't sell starfruit. In fact the only place you can get starfruit is in the Everfree Forest."
"Oh." Derpy said in disappointment. She lowered her head slightly.
"Sorry, dear." The sales pony said feeling a bit guilty. "Can I interest you in some ripe bananas? Just got them fresh today."
"No thanks. I'll see you next week when I'm all out of fruit." Derpy said and then turned and began slowly walking home. "Now how am I suppose to make starfruit muffins if I don't have any starfruit." She walked on for a moment and then stopped as she came across Fluttershy's cottage. She looked over at the Everfree Forest which stood behind the cottage. Just a few yards ahead there was a path connected to the road and extended all the way to the forest. Derpy took a moment to think to herself and then said, "Looks like I'll have to go into the Everfree Forest and find a starfruit tree." She had to have that fruit, she had to bake those muffins.
She went down the path and into the Everfree Forest. It was much darker in the forest as well creepy. The trees were all twisted and crooked, vines hung down from almost every tree, and most of the bushes planted just off the path were thorn bushes. Derpy has never been in the Everfree Forest before so the whole experience was quite terrifying for her. She has heard many stories about the forest, about all the monsters that roam it and how nature doesn't work the same as it does in Equestria. Even though there was fear in her body she kept pushing on.
Up ahead there was something large in the middle of the path. It seemed like a wall of something but the shadows made it difficult to make out. The closer Derpy got to the...the thing the more visible it was. After she was about five yards from it she saw it was a mountain of fallen trees and overgrown thorn bushes. Derpy then thought of flying but looked up and noticed how low the tree branches were and she wasn't the best flyer in Equestria.
Derpy looked around. There was a small opening through the thorn bushes. She walked through it and made her way around hundreds of trees and thorn bushes. She was growing tired and she was sure it also getting late. There was a flash of light up ahead. She walked towards it and beyond it there was only one tree. The tree was covered in yellow-orange fruit which were shaped like stars. It was a starfruit tree and it stood in a small patch of grass and just inches past it was a cliff. Derpy's face brighten as the sun gave the illusion that the tree was actually glowing.
She flew over too the tree and began picking as many of the rare fruit as she could and shoved them in her saddle bag. As she was about to head back to Ponyville something shiny caught her eye. She looked over the cliff and just bellow it there was some kind of gold pyramid in a large open field. Curious, Derpy flew around the golden pyramid and got a much better look at all of it's architecture. On the very top of the pyramid there was what looked like a muffin. Excitement began building up in her body. She flew down to the ground at it's large and very detailed entrance. There were statues of muffins well placed around the structure.
Could this actually be? Derpy thought to herself. The long lost temple of the golden muffin?
Derpy was overwhelmed by this discovery. She had to go in. Her curiosity pushed her inside the dark temple and as she entered torches in the shape of muffins lit up and brightened a long hallway which seemed to go on forever. Something didn't feel right about all this though. It seemed to easy. Why would a savage tribe just leave their most valued possession unguarded.
Derpy took a small step and tile on the floor sunk and the sound of gears echoed through the hall Derpy quickly dove forward not knowing what she was doing. She waited for a few seconds and then turned around to see what happened. There, at the entrance, were three long spears poking from the ground where she last stood. Derpy's heart was now racing with fear and excitement. For a moment she thought of turning around and going home. But the adventure, the excitement, the golden muffin. It called for her.
She got up off the stoned ground and moved onward. She looked at the drawings on the wall. The first one she saw was of three ponies carrying baskets on their backs. The next one looked as if the group of three were surprised by a small patch of wheat. The next few drawing showed the three carrying the wheat in the baskets back to their village and then the town's people used the wheat to make a muffin. The last few sequences appeared to be them building the temple and at the end there was drawing of a pony with six legs and three eyes. Derpy stopped for a moment to look at this one. Was this the god they thought gave them the wheat?
After awhile Derpy snapped out of her little trance and continued walking down the hall. Not looking at the ground her next step only hit air. She wobbled and gazed upon a pit and at the bottom were spikes. A skeleton rested at the bottom with the spikes. She found her balance and just looked down into the pit then up at the other side. Luckily for her she was a pegasus so she was able to simply sly over the pit.
"Few," She said aloud. "That was close."
She pushed on forward. Up ahead she noticed a doorway. Through the doorway was an open room and at the end of the room was a flight of gold stairs which lead to some kind of table. Derpy wasn't sure about this room so to be safe she flew up to the top of the stairs and looked at a muffin which appeared to be made out of solid gold. Derpy knew this muffin was thousands years old, but yet the muffin appeared to be fresh out of the oven. It was wondrous and a sight, Derpy felt, no other pony has ever witnessed. She picked it up, but soon regretted it.
The whole place began to shake. Bits and chunks of the roof began falling down smashing onto the floor. Derpy began panicking. She used her wings to bolt as fast as she could out of the room and down the hall. The floor of the hallway was now red glowing lava which nearly set her feathers afire. The place was crumbling down to the ground with her in it. She had to hurry. She picked up speed. Up ahead there was a light but also there were the spears. The part where the spears stood were not consumed by lava. The spears got closer and closer at incredible speed. Derpy closed her eyes tight as she burst through them and was finally outside. She made her way into the sky and watched as the temple crumbled into the ground.
She gazed at the golden muffin as it rested in her hooves. It was marvelous. Spectacular. Part of her wanted to eat it, but another part of her told her that this belonged into a museum. This muffin is the oldest muffin ever. The stories this thing could tell historians. Who knows maybe it could lead us to discovering more golden grain. This muffin was more than just a golden breakfast meal, it was history itself.
Derpy ate the muffin and went home to make the starfruit muffins. She couldn't be happier.
The End!!!
