Till Death do us apart? No, thanks!

by LostUmbrella

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Adventure, Shining Armor, Flash Sentry, Queen Chrysalis
Length: 6746

How does Shining Armor cope in being surrounded by immortals?

Shining Armor, king of the Crystal Empire, ruler of the Changelings, and the only mortal in the family.
See how our favorite king tries to find a way to avoid having to say goodbye to his wives and sister.

This is the sequel of my stories Armor for Two and Ashley's New Life.

This story is set after Rainbow Rocks, and will be mainly set in the human world.

Rated teen for future occurrences.

Published 2014-11-07 16:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-17 11:17:03 UTC

Chapter 1

Twilight's ascension had been a life changing event, not only for her, but for many ponies.
One of those was none other than her brother, Shining Armour, king of the Crystal Empire and of the changelings.
When he had first started dating Cadence, he had been worried by their different lifespan, if her being immortal could be called so, but she had somehow reassured him. His latter second marriage to Chrysalis, even if technically it was the first, had done nothing to quiet his worries. And now, even his little sister would live forever, leaving him the only mortal in the family.

Sure, he thought while sipping a glass of hard cider There still are mom and dad, but we all would have outlived them both in any case, no?

He was sitting on his bedroom balcony, the chilly night air and the cold floor his only companions in his musings, induced by the invitation to her sister's 'alicorn party', courtesy of Pinkie Pie of course.

It had also been such a nice party...

"Shining, what are you doing out there?"

He turned around and saw Cadence wearing a lacy night gown and a preoccupied, even if clearly sleepy, frown.

"Nothing much, honey, just having a drink."

"Come back to bed please, it's chilly outside, you'll catch a cold."

"Sure," he said offering a smile.

The thought lied dormant for some months after that night, until his sister once again stirred it by defeating Tirek and gaining herself the title of princess of friendship.
This time though, there hadn't been Cadence, nor Chrysalis either, to pull him from his musings. And such dark thoughts usually don't end well.
And so, Shining, being the older brother of the most studious filly to walk Equestria's face in the last century, did the most obvious thing to him, or the most obvious beside asking Twilight, that is to say search the palace library for answers.
Crystal Clear, the librarian, did find it strange that his sovereign asked to be pointed to the section written by king Sombra himself, but after some months of abiding to the weirdest requests (one might never guess what queen Chrysalis liked to read in her free time), he simply accepted the thing with a shrug.
As Shining expected from Sombra's work, there were a number of ways to obtain immortality hidden in the countless pages that made up the tyrant's research journal, but the largest part of those required things that a stallion of his morality wasn't going to accept, like drinking the blood of seventy-six point four virgin mares, or desecrating the mortal spoils of a slain paladin with a pear, or dressing in a pink frilly dress and do a silly dance (the fact that this was supposed to be done on the corpse of a loved one did not help in the least). This left him with only one option.

"So, I need to somehow find an exact duplicate of myself and siphon his life force? And apparently this doesn't even kills him, good..." pondered aloud Shining hidden in a safe place "Wait, where do I find another me?"

"Shiny dear, are you done in the bathroom?" asked Chrysalis' buzzing voice from outside the bathroom door.

Once again, it was his sister's feats that brought him the solution: her travel in the land of humans and the notion that apparently there was a clone of everypony there gave him his best opportunity at finding a perfect duplicate of himself. He only had to wait thirty moons.
Yet, soon enough, his plan started showing its faults: two years and half of wait for the mirror to connect again, a window of three days to find his clone in a whole new world, and the mirror being moved to Twilight's new castle.
But fate decided to be generous with the young ruler, and sent him a sign to set his plan into motion. A very lavenderish sign, in a purple envelope.

"Listen here dear," said Cadence sitting in her throne "Twily has apparently returned to the world behind the mirror and Pinkie is organizing a 'welcome back party'."

"Are we all invited?" asked Chrysalis idly playing with her breakfast, consisting of peppermint cookies and warm tea.

"Yes, but we cannot exactly leave the empire and the hive without ruler," pondered aloud the other queen.

"Then I'll go: I haven't seen my sister since the Equestria games after all..."

"I'm okay with that," agreed the changeling with a shrug "I have to keep an eye on the hatchlings anyway. And you promised to help me Cadence, so don't try to run away!"

"Fine," sighed the alicorn visibly deluded.

"Don't you two worry, I'll be fine. What can possibly go wrong?"

Of course, that's exactly the kind of phrase that alerts fate to make things go south, but since Shining's plan was already pretty promising by itself, fate felt satisfied and let it go.

Around a week later, Cadence was once again sorting their mail as Chrysalis occupied herself with a sick looking little changeling, this time during a pause in court hours rather than breakfast.

"Chrissie?" asked the alicorn after having red a certain letter.

"That note of worry in your voice should tell me something, I'm sure, but little seven-thousand-sixty-three here is occupying my mind," answered her fellow queen.

"Shining is still in Ponyville, right?"

"Well, he's not here, so I'd say yes."

"Then why is Twilight writing that he forgot his bag when he left two days ago?"

"Because your sister-in-law is finally gone coo-coo in the head?"

"Our sister-in-law isn't mad, Shining has disappeared!" said Cadence grabbing the other by her shoulders and shaking her.

"Calm down, ponies don't disappear like that!" said the other freeing herself "He was escorted by three guards and two more changelings under cover, none of which did gave news of heading back by the way, there is no way he left Ponyville unnoticed, nor he could have been ponynapped."

"Then where is he?"

"The changelings and the guards say he never left the palace... This doesn't make much sense."

"What do we do?

"We go there and find him, that's what!" said Chrysalis stomping a forehoof "And then we scold him."

'Shining Armor', or better, number Two watched the train leave the empire only station and let out a sigh.
He turned around and saw two other changelings, number Three and Four, wearing the same exact disguise as himself and sighed again.

"Guys, this whole 'replace us while we're gone' thing is already stupid, don't make it worse, please..." he asked in an annoyed tone.

"Then change disguise, just like number Four here," suggested number Three with a shrug.

"What? Why should I play the part of one of our worthless queens? Let's call queen Ashley and put a stop to this masquerade!" lamented the third general.

"Hold your tongue when talking of the queens!" roared Two "Both of you, change disguise now!"

"And why shouldn't you do it? Only because you were born twenty seconds earlier?" protested Four.

"I'm not playing the girl!" shouted Three stomping a hoof and buzzing his wings.

This is going to end so badly... thought the first changeling facehoofing.

Author's Note

So, here we are after so long :twilightsmile:

I cannot say I will keep up the release rate I had for the first two stories, but you'll get the chapters as soon as my editor finishes reviewing them :raritywink:

I really hope you like this one, it took me forever to come up with this concept :raritydespair:

Chapter 2

Flash Sentry wasn't stupid. He knew that Twilight was gone for the moment, but he also knew that she would be back sooner or later to visit her friends or to save the school and probably the city, and to do so she had to pass through the portal in the statue pedestal. That was the exact reason why he had taken as a habit to go study, practice with his guitar, or simply chill out in that same exact place.
Granted, it wasn't terribly comfortable, but the possibility to be the first to welcome back his Twily was such a great pro that he didn't mind.
Of course, he was very surprised to see the portal open so soon.
He immediately jumped up to welcome his still-not-technically-girlfriend, only to have his hopes crushed by the arrival of a white-skinned, blue-haired guy some years older than himself with an heavy built; he wore a cerulean shirt over a pair of dark blue jeans and white sneakers.

"Uhm, you aren't another weirdo from Equestria who wants to conquer the school, right?" he asked the newcomer helping him on his feet.

"What? No, my name is Shining Armor, and I have an important mission here. And you are one of Twilight's friends I suppose, since you know of Equestria."

"More or less anyone around here knows of your magical pony world, but yes, we're pretty close. The name is Flash Sentry, nice to meet you dude. So, has Twilight ever said anything about me?"

"Ah, so you are that Flash Sentry who tried to make a move on my Twily uh?"

"Your Twily? Who are you?"

"Her big brother."

At those words the poor Flash realized he might not have been in the best of situations and paled a bit.

"Hey, calm down, I'm not going to skin you alive. Unless you've done something to Twilight. You didn't do anything, did you?" asked Shining in a tone that made it clear that lies were out of question.

"N-no sir, of course not."

"Good, then it's your lucky day: I told I have an important mission right? Well, help me out and you'll have my blessing. What do you say?"

"Sir yes sir!" was Flash's enthusiastic response "Uhm, what exactly is this mission about?"

"I need to find the me from this word, can you help me?"

"Never seen him, I'm sorry, but maybe... Follow me, my friend Mac knows lots of people in and out the city."

The two of them headed to the cafeteria, even if a bit wobbly on Shining's part before he got used to walking on two legs. There, they found Big Macintosh helping out Granny Smith cleaning before the students arrived for lunch.

"Hey Mac!" called Flash waving to him "Got a moment to talk?"

"Eeyup," answered the man stopping in mopping the floor.

"Meet Shining Armor, Twilight's brother from Equestria. Shining, this giant here is Big Macintosh."

"Nice to meet you Big Macintosh," saluted the king with a nod.

"Just Mac is fine, and the pleasure is mine: yer sis is great friends with mine."

"So, the thing is, Shining here is searching for the himself from this world. Do you know him?" interjected the youngest boy.

"Eenope, dunno him, but Ah've seen him pretty often by the market were I sell mah apples. He's a police officer Ah reckon."

"Thanks a bunch Mac, I really owe you one!" said Flash patting him on a shoulder.

"You really helped a lot, you have my thanks Mac," said Shining armor already projecting his next move.

"Ah really did nothing," said the red man shrugging, before addressing his friend "Shouldn't ya be in class now Flash? Ya won't hear the end of it from vice principal Luna if she discovers yer skipping."

"Arg, you're right! Gotta go! Shining, I'll see you after school, meet me here in the cafeteria!" cried out the boy running away.

"Well, I'm stumped till school's out it seems. Anything I can help you with Mac?"

"Well, Ah reckon trash cans need to be emptied..."

"What do you mean 'he's not returned' ? Of course he has, he's nowhere around here so he must have returned. He even said he was going to leave!" said Twilight showing the first signs of panic.

"Calm down Twily, deep breaths," offered Cadence "We're just trying to find him, nothing more."

"I told you she had gone mad, deploying the search squad would have been faster," harrumphed Chrysalis watching his sister-in-law fight a panic attack.

The three of them were seated in the council room in Twilight's castle, three fuming cups of tea placed on a nearby coffee table with some pastries.
Useless to say, those amenities had been forgotten in the heat of the moment.

"Your search squad was thousands of drones strong, it would have caused panic even here in Ponyville!" retorted her fellow queen.

"I'm not that sure... I mean, us changelings are nothing like parasprites..."

"That's beside the point," said Twilight having regained her cool "If Shining is not here, nor in the empire, where is he? Still traveling?"

"Don't forget that the guards did not see him leave the palace," reminded the changeling.

"Wait, what?"

"His escort assures that he did not leave your palace."

"That's impossible... Where could he... No, this isn't good..."

"What? What isn't good?" asked Cadence preoccupied.

"There's only one explanation: the portal to Canterlot High School."

"And what exactly would be Shining doing in that world?" asked Chrysalis crooking an eyebrow.

"That, I have no idea, I'm sorry, nor I know how he could have got there by chance... He must have wanted to go there."

"But why?" asked Cadence still not believing the implications of the fact.

"There’s only one way to know…"

Some might know that awkward moment when a cell phone rings during the lesson and, even if it’s only vibrating, it’s clearly audible and you realize it’s yours?
Well, Sunset Shimmer wasn’t familiar with the feeling. Sure, she might have been queen bitch of the school, but having no friends she had little uses for keeping her cell phone on during lessons.
That’s why, when she heard what she believed to be mobile phone vibrating, she did not care particularly and kept staring at the chalkboard. It was only when she noticed that every pair of eyes in the room was pointed on her that she got what was really happening.

"Miss Shimmer, would you kindly turn off you phone? It’s disturbing the lesson," asked the math teacher stroking his goatee, displeasure clear on his face.

"Uhm, it’s not my phone… It’s my book…"

"Well, then you and your vibrating book can go spend some quality time outside the classroom. Math is difficult enough without your stimulating reading distracting the class."

With that, Sunset swiftly left the room before professor Cord decided to make other jokes about her.
Finally alone in the hallway, she opened the book and found what had caused all that ruckus: six simple words.

I’m coming, I need help.

Author's Note

Here we are with chapter 2 :twilightsmile:

I want to thank you all who read this little story of mine: your support makes me happy :pinkiehappy:

On a side note, I've recently revised Armor for Two. Nothing major, mainly some grammar or typing errrors here and there.

Chapter 3

Sunset arrived at the statue just in time to see Twilight come out from the portal, soon followed by two older looking women.
The first was little taller than her, with pink skin and long, slightly curly hair of a mixture of purple, light yellow and pink, who wore a long white dress that reached her ankles, giving her a distinct good girl aura; the other instead was exactly the kind of woman parents had in mind when thinking of bad company for their children: taller than the first, with dark gray skin and straight dark green hair, wearing a see-trough dark T-shirt over a green tank top, a black leather skirt and tore black leggins that disappeared in a pair of biker boots.

"Sunset!" Twilight call broke her train of thoughts "I'm happy you could come on such short notice!"

"Sure Twilight, I had nothing better to do anyway," she said hugging her friend "But you said you needed help..."

"Yes, but first," she said gesturing to the women "Sunset Shimmer, meet my sisters-in-law Cadence and Chrysalis, queens of the Crystal Empire."

"Nice to meet you, your majesties," said the girl bowing her head.

"Please, no need for such formalities," Cadence reassured her with a smile.

"Twi-" started saying Chrysalis only to stop quirking an eyebrow.

She put a hand on her throat and gave a couple of light coughs to clear her voice.

"Is everything all right Chryssy?" asked her fellow queen, worry in her voice.

"My voice sounded unexpectedly normal," she said reacquiring her usual double-toned, slightly buzzing voice "Anyway, Twilight says you can help us, right?"

"Probably yes, I still don't know what you need though," responded the once-unicorn, slightly puzzled by Chrysalis' little episode.

"My brother Shining Armor, who is their husband, has disappeared and is probably somewhere around here. We need to find him," explained Twilight.

"He has a lead of two days," added Chrysalis.

"This isn't good, the city is pretty big... We'll need some help. What he looks like by the way?"

"He's a white stallion with two-toned blue mane," supplied Cadence "Around my height, well built."

"And with a very big-" tried adding the other queen.

"That is irrelevant!" said Twilight cutting her short, a mad blush coloring her cheeks.

"I was going to say love for hay bacon. I'm a professional Twily," retorted the other with a knowing grin "What were you thinking about?"

"Don't tease her Chryssy!" said Cadence stifling a giggle.

It took some time to round up the girls, since not all of them attended the same classes, but once gathered and lectured on the task at hand, the search started rapidly.
The nine of them divided in groups and went to search the city for clues to pinpoint Shining's location, sadly without the desired effect: apparently, his human counterpart was a policeman, and a pretty well known one at that, so they got a lot of fake leads.
After having spent the whole afternoon uselessly, they met up at Sweet Apple Acres to share they findings and plan their next move.
They were occupying the farm girl's room, which was pretty spacious considering it was furnished only with a bed, a small nightstand and a large closet.
Caring for her guests, Applejack had given each one a cushion to sit on, since the orange rug in center of the room wasn't big enough to sport all of them.

"Where could he be? We searched the entire city..." lamented Twilight running her hands in her hairs, threatening to rip them away, her eyes scanning a map.

"What if he left the city already?" asked Fluttershy observing the map "I mean, he had a big lead."

"But why would he?" asked Cadence in a worried tone.

"Why would he come here in the first place?" asked back Sunset Shimmer "Had it been to go sightseeing, he would have just asked Twilight, right?"

"He's pretty stubborn at times, but yes, he would have asked me..."

"It's obvious he fled," declared Rainbow nonchalantly.

"He's what now?" asked Chrysalis, knowing full well what the girl was suggesting.

"I mean," explained the other "Two wives? Most guys cannot keep up with one!"

"Are you implying I don't make my husband a happy stallion?" asked Cadence in an uncharacteristically cold tone.

"Now now Cadence," said Chrysalis massaging her sister-in-law's shoulders "No need to get temperamental for a brat, right Twilight?"

"Of course darling!" said Rarity a bit too forcefully, putting a hand on Rainbow's mouth to cut any response "My friend here likes to let her mouth run wild..."

"Yeah your highness," jumped in Applejack "She's mighty sorry too, right Rainbow?"

"What's all this ruckus?" asked Big Mac peeking into the room "Applejack, ya know Granny's nappin', ya don't wanna wake her."

"It's nothing Mac, Rainbow speaks without thinkin'..."

"By the way, mister Mac," asked Chrysalis changing the course of the discussion "Could it be you've met a certain Shining Armor recently? He's a pretty bulk man with white skin and blue hair."

"Eeyup, both the local one and the Equestrian one."

"Really?" asked the nine of them in unison.

"Eeyup."

"Where's the equestrian one?" asked Applejack.

"Dunno, last time Ah saw him it was this morning, in the market. He was with Flash Sentry."

Of course, the girls next move was trying to barrel trough the door all at the same time.

The mirror in Twilight's library rippled as Shining Armor emerged from it, a heavy looking brown bag next to him. He was followed moments later by his loyal helper, Flash Sentry.

"Woah, so the whole pony thing is real!" said the latter studying his new form "It was still pretty crazy to believe..."

"Why exactly did you come over?" asked Shining crooking an eyebrow st him.

"Well, if I wanna date Twilight, I should see how does she looks here... It makes sense, no?"

"Yes, I think so, but I really doubt you would want to help me with... Whatever I needed my trans-dimensional double for."

"I wouldn't?" asked the pegasus, his acute mind suggesting him that something didn't add up properly.

"You wouldn't," confirmed the unicorn.

The bag choose that moment to remind the two stallions of its presence in the room by emitting a pained moan.

"He's waking up already... Look Flash, you're a pretty good guy and I really wanted to keep you out of this, but if you want to I'll be grateful for your help."

"Grateful like?"

"Like letting you replace the local Flash Sentry and transferring him to my sister's personal guard."

"As long as you're not going to kill or torture this guy, I'm with you sir!" said the orange stallion attempting a salute.

Incidentally, removing one of his hooves from the ground made his already precarious balance fail. With a heavy thud Flash chin met the polished crystalline floor.

Author's Note

Finally the third chapter... I'm still not completely sure I like how it turned out, but I don't really know how else to go on...

As for the next chapter... You gotta wait a little, sorry :applecry:

Chapter 4

Shining woke to a strange situation: everything was dark, which is not that strange actually, he felt something rough against himself, which was stranger but not impossible, he couldn't feel his hands or feet, which was decidedly freaky, and he could hear his own voice talking to someone while he wasn't talking, which was absurd.

All in all, he considered Whatever happened, it could have been worse.

He tried to get his bearings, to recall how he could have possibly ended in that situation.
He remembered a boy, with blue hair, asking for his help with something in a side alley and then a hit on the back of his head, after which there's nothing.

Ok, so the boy and someone else kidnapped me? What for?

He tried to gather more info. He wasn't bound, but he was in some kind of sac. The guy with his voice was trying to convince someone else to help him, apparently using bribery.
He found the way out of his woven prison and, very carefully, peeked out. What he saw could have made he scream had he been a less strong-witted individual: two horses, one of which was orange and had wings, were the source of the voices he had heard, meaning that they talked.
His mind refused to understand what he was seeing. What it did register, instead, was that a table was partially hiding him from the two horses.
Deciding not to let this opportunity slide, he wormed his way out of the sac and towards the nearest door, hoping for it to be unlocked and that it did not connect to a cupboard. In an incredible stroke of luck, not only the door was partially open, but an hallway was partially visible trough it.
Eyes still glued to his kidnappers, he nudged the door open and wormed out, the he closed it lightly with his hoof.

Wait, what?

Then, and only then, he realized why he couldn't feel his hand nor his feet: he had hooves, blue hooves bordered by white fur. He gave himself a once over and confirmed his fear of having lost his humanity. He also noticed that he was disturbingly similar to the white horse in the room.
Doing his outmost not to freak out, scream and make his situation generally worse, he decided to move towards one of the nearby rooms and, possibly, find a way back to his family.

After all, he thought as he shakily made his way down the hallway Twilight has that 'secret lab' thing in Crystal Prep and in our basement, I'm sure she can figure out how to reverse whatever those horse-freaks did to me. Now that I think about it, what does she need two secret labs for?

Finally, he found an open door and entered, using his mouth to manipulate the handle, then he locked it from the inside thanks to the key that rested in the keyhole. He then turned and examined the room: it was something midway between a bedroom and a library, with massive bookshelves full of heavy tomes surrounding a rather large (for a horse like he was now, that is) palanquin bed with lavender sheets. It reminded him of his sister's room.
He reached the bed and plopped down on it.

Ok, let's summarize: I'm currently trapped who knows where thanks to two talking horses that kidnapped me and turned me in one of them... Yeah, not working, let's try a different approach before I end up mental. From the top, I've been kidnapped and brought in an unknown location. I'm in a relatively secure place at the moment but I need to get back home, or at least find someone who isn't in league with the kidnappers. Let's see if the window is a viable exit route.

He approached the nearby large window that flooded the room in bright light. Looking down, he assessed a jump far too long for his tastes, so the window was a no.
Yet, he could see a town nearby. It decidedly wasn't Canterlot, but it was a start.

So, next objective: reach ground floor, or at least a lower one, and flee to the nearby town.

He weighted his options: waiting could alert his kidnappers of his disappearance, but in the confusion he could have found a way to slip unnoticed. He decided to keep the surprise element.
Keeping an ear to eventual alarm shouts or sirens, and proving mixed feeling towards his improved hearing all the while, he made his way out of the bedroom and down the alley in what he hoped was the right direction. As he descended the interminable flights of stairs, he noticed that despite the apparent opulence of the place (two words: crystalline floors) it was actually deserted: he did not met anyone on his way out, nor the two equines had apparently noticed his escape.

It was only once he had reached the town's outskirts that Shining allowed himself to relax a little. It didn't last long though: as soon as he spotted the first inhabitants, he realized he was in deeper troubles than he thought, for every single one of them was a colored horse just like his kidnappers.
Cold fear, like a giant claw of ice, gripped his heart as his mind started to work frantically to find a way out of this equine nightmare. He started hyperventilating as a myriad of possible scenarios, one worse than the previous, started coming to his mind, his fervid imagination playing against him.

If they can turn people into colorful equines, what is it that they cannot actually do?

Some part of his mind was trying to counter with cold reason the tidal wave of panic-induced, world-ending scenarios that his imagination was conjuring, or at least to partially block it to let him calm down a bit, but it proved utterly ineffective.
On the brink of losing his mind completely, he heard someone calling his name.

"Shining Armor? Is that you?" said the clearly female voice "What are you doing here in Ponyville?"

Recovering his wits in record time, he spun around to face a grey mare with black mane stylized into a braid that circled her slender neck. And she was a unicorn.

Ok Shiny, time to use your outstanding speech skills to trick her into helping you.

"Uh... Hello? Do I know you?" he said hesitantly.

Smooth Shiny, very smooth...

Strangely enough, the mare started laughing loudly, then said: "Geez, I would have expected you wouldn't forget somepony who tried to kill you and enslave your empire, especially if that somepony is your sister-in-law."

Bad, very very bad... I better find a way out of here before she tries again to kill me... Wait, what was it about an empire and a sister-in-law?

"Ah, wait, I bet it was the disguise plus my new mane-do that confused you... After all, you only met the old Ashley," she said thoughtfully tapping her chin with a forehoof, before nodding "But let's not stand here in the middle of the road, come, my house is nearby."

She turned around and motioned for him to follow.
After a moment of hesitation, Shining decided that being with this mare was better than standing in the open waiting to be found by his kidnappers, even if she had apparently tried to kill him and was pretty open about it.

Chapter 5

With Flash Sentry on his side, Shining proceeded to retrieve his dimensional double, only to find the sac empty.

"Flash, did you see a white stallion leave the room?"

"Uhm, no sir, I'm sorry,"

"Then you will need a lot of training before I'll let you guard my sister's life."

"Uhm, did you see it sir?" asked the pegasus, uncertainty in his voice.

"I couldn't have, could I? I had my back towards the sac and the door."

"Yes, of course. What now sir?"

"Now," said Shining with calm "We go and find him before my conspicuously absent sister finds us."

While Shining Armor was starting to search for his human double and said double was following Ashley through Ponyville, in the human world somebody else had noticed that a certain blue haired policeman had disappeared and was moving to find him.
Dean Cadence was known to be a kind woman, dedicated to her students at Crystal Prep Academy, always ready to find the good in everyone. All of this was true, except for the woman sitting in front of her in her study: detective Chrysalis, fellow alumni and Shining's ex-girlfriend.
The two women had never met eye to eye on anything, especially since Chrysalis had repeatedly tried to steal Shiny away from her. Anything, except their caring for the policeman's wellbeing.

"Look," said Cadence with an heavy sigh breaking the tense silence "I don't like you and you don't like me, that's fine, I don't care."

"You called me over for this? Really Cadenza?"

"No, I didn't. I called you because I need you."

"Oh? And what can you possibly need from little old me?"

Cadence hated that sugar coated smile that Chrysalis was flashing her, it was just fake as it looked. She was also sure that, knowing the woman's acting skills, it was purposely fake.

"Shiny has disappeared."

Three words and Chrysalis transformed: gone the fake niceness and the annoying behavior, replaced by a calculating gaze and cold calmness.

"When an where?"

"What, no snide remarks?" asked Cadence actually surprised.

"If you willingly called me, then it's serious enough not to waste precious time, Cadenza"

"Ok... There are no notices of him since earlier this morning, during his round at the market."

"I'll call you later, ok?" said the black skinned woman getting up.

"Chrysalis?"

"Yes?"

"I have a bad feeling."

They shared a look for a long moment before Chrysalis simply nodded and left the room.

Ashley's house was a nice two story affair with thatched roof and wall painted in white, pretty much identical to the nearby buildings.
But if the outside was absolutely ordinary, it was the inside that revealed all of the owner's originality: everything was either black or ash gray, from the paint to the furniture, except for the veritable jungle of potted plants that occupied pretty much every available surface, leaving only enough space to navigate the rooms on set paths.
The two of them reached what was probably the living room and took a seat on the black couches, positioned so that they faced each other. As he took place, Shining noticed that a nearby red flower closed its petals and slithered away, as if scared.

"Don't mind it, my flowers are a tad timid around strangers," said Ashley taking a potted cactus in her front hooves.

"The flowers are timid?"

"Why, yes," she said as she petted the cactus like one would do with a cat "And terribly so."

Shining could have sworn he had heard the cactus purr.
And, as if the world wanted to prove him that what he had seen this far was merely the tip of the iceberg of weirdness, the mare spontaneously combusted into green flames. And then the fire went out and she was okay, if turning into something that looked like the horrendous progeny of an insect, a horse and an alien counted as being okay. And just to add to the poor stallion confusion, the cactus was perfectly fine. And still purring.
Shining Armor, twenty-six years old, policeman, shrieked like a school filly.

"Oh, come on!" said Ashley rolling her now reptilian eyes "You're married to my sister, for Father's sake, I cannot believe you got scared of me dropping my disguise."

Shining answer came in the form of holding an orchid in front of him as an improvised shield. It is worth of notice that the orchid was apparently as scared as him, but obviously for a different reason.
Ashley's retort died on her lips. During her attack on the Crystal Empire, Shining Armor had faced her without fear, despite knowing full well what a changeling queen could do. This stallion instead was terrified, his fear was sweet and sour to her. Yet, short of Lyra and a changeling, nopony could have wore another pony's appearance, and she could see through a changeling's disguise, while her 'cousin' was hardly that good.

"Who are you?" she asked with the outmost calm.

"I'm Shining Armor. What are you?"

"A florist," replied her without missing a beat "Shining Armor is one of the bravest stallion I know, and yet you're cowering in fear. Who are you?"

"I told you, I'm Shining Armor, a police officer in Canterlot, and until I woke up earlier I wasn't even a stallion."

"Wait, what?" stuttered the ex-changeling queen, her calm facade breaking as her brain pulled the emergency brakes "You're a mare?"

"What? No! I was a man, a human male!"

Ashley, who at some point had stood up, sat back and started scratching absent-mindedly a small coconut tree's trunk like one would do with a dog's belly. The tree waved his leaves happily.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were Lyra pulling a fast one on me," commented the mare "But I remember her saying something about a magical mirror the local princess had that was a portal to a world populated by humans where there was a double of every one of us. You must be that world Shining Armor. Moreover, ther's only a hooffull of ponies that know what a human is."

"Uhm, maybe? Probably? There was this stallion that looked just what I look like now earlier... He was one of my kidnappers."

At those worlds, the changeling scoffed "Kidnapper? Him? Nah, must have been a disguised changeling... Anyway, here's what we're going to do."

"We?" said Shining cutting her short.

"Well, I cannot exactly send you out alone, no? Celestia only knows what Lyra would do if she gets her human-obsessed hooves on you..." explained Ashley shivering "Anyway, we will go to the castle, find the real Shining Armor, this world one I mean, or maybe his sister, princess Twilight Sparkle and sort this mess out, any question?"

"Did you say princess Twilight Sparkle?"

"Yes, why?"

"Just wait till I tell my sister that there is a double of her that is a magical horse princess..." chuckled the human-turned-stallion.

"Pony, the correct term is pony."

"Even better."

Nine mares tumbled out of the portal mirror, an action largely due to the fact that the majority of the was used to walking on two legs.

"Urg, that was horrible..." groaned Rainbow Dash before addressing what was in front of her "Rares, can you pull your tail away from my face?"

"Oh my! I'm naked!" shrieked the now white unicorn trying fruitlessly to untangle herself from the others.

The vast majority of those mares were also used to wearing clothes, apparently.
Moments later, they were all floating in an acidic green aura minus the two at the bottom.

"Much better," commented Chrysalis getting on her hooves and dusting herself before helping Cadence up "I don't know how you all stand walking on two legs all the time... It's so uncomfortable... And I finally have my lovely voice back."

"Put them down Chryssy, no need to get snippy," commented said pink alicorn snickering behind a hoof before sobering up "We've also got more important things to do right now."

In a brief moment they were all standing, except for Rarity, who was trying to cover herself with a tablecloth.

"You know, it's actually kinda comfy to stand on four legs..." commented Pinkie Pie while inspecting one of her forehooves.

"Now that we're all here," said Twilight taking the reins of the group "We need to find Shining Armor... He should look like a white unicorn with blue mane."

"Like the one down there?" asked Rainbow pointing to the nearby window "I think I saw him while Chrysalis was... Whatever it is that she was doing."

"We have a hunch, great! Me, Sunset, Cadence and Chrysalis will go down there and look for him, you six meanwhile search the castle, in case the one Rainbow saw was my brother and not the human one. If you see a purple baby dragon, he's Spike, he'll help you for sure. Let's go!"

Meanwhile Big Macintosh wasn't having a great day. First Flash went looking for agent Armor, then his sister came with her friends and two unknown ladies looking for the very same man, and now the same two ladies, albeit differntly dressed, were asking him again if he had seen Shining Armor. It was all a bit disconcerting and, a rapid glance to the clock assured him of it, was making him late to his date with Cheerilee.

"Look madam, Ah already told ya what Ah know when ya were here with mah sis and her friends earlier: Ah directed Flash Sentry and his new friend, who looked like agent Armor Ah reckon, to the agent usual area. Nothing more nothing less."

The black skinned woman kept her acid green eyes trained on him for a while longer before nodding and saying: "I hope for you it's all the truth, because things will get remarkably unpleasant if it isn't."

"Come on Chrysalis, there's no need to intimidate the boy," said Cadence before turning to Big Mac "Thank you for your time young man, we'll be on our way now."

With that, the two women left.

Author's Note

Ok, I'm sure you're wondering why there are two chapters in one update.
The truth is that even with a working idea I can't seem to fight this writer's block I'm facing, so I've decided to upload what I produced since the start of the hiatus and then leave this story as what it is.
Maybe, someday, I'll find it in myself to finish it, or maybe one of you wants to do it for me, so I'll leave it all posted, but don't expect any update soon.
Sorry.

P.S.: if you want to try your hand/hoof/appendage at concluding this, pm me and I'll send you all the notes I still have :twilightsmile: