The Beckoning of Nature (Re-Written)

“Hey!” Cried a unicorn, accusing hooves pointing at Nagare and Rekka. “Get a room, you two!”

“Wha?” The two asked, looking at the bloke who made the remark with arched brows.

“Get a room!” The unicorn repeated, marching up to the trio as if he were a veteran.

“Us? Get a room?” Rekka asked, the corners of his mouth twitching. “What kind of crack are you on?”

“YES!” The unicorn answered, waving a hoof frantically. Literally all attention in the tavern was directed at the confused trio at this point. “You coltcuddlers kissed!”

“Did not.” Nagare replied, a brow twitching.

“I saw you! Don’t lie to me!” The unicorn shrieked, eyes of orange narrowing. “You kissed on the lips!”

“We did?” The two asked, blinking.

The unicorn groaned, a hoof connecting with his face. “YES.” He growled. His horn lit up, grasping the trio in its magic, and he stumbled his way to the stairs whilst the stallions he was indirectly manhandling looked at him confused. The stairs that led to the second floor beheld a hallway adorned with many doors on either side. He trotted to the nearest one and opened it, finding a bed, a dresser drawer, and simple table inside. The unicorn then threw the trio in the room, slammed the door, and promptly left.

“Who rustled his jimmies?” Nagare asked, standing up and trotting awkwardly to the table.

“I think we did.” Rekka answered, also standing up. He took a glance around the room and found nothing of interest, apart from the bed.

“Nah. He was cranky before you two came here.” Tenmei replied, a sleepy smile on his face. He too stood up, glasses lopsided on his face, and he chuckled.

“I’m amazed he didn’t get thrown out, then.” Rekka sighed, horn lighting up in scarlet. He removed his garments, long red mane hanging well past the elbows of his front legs. A quarter of his tail had touched the floor, and he shivered as cold air hit his body.

“Perhaps he hasn’t crossed the line yet.” Nagare stated, eyes fixated on the wall beyond the table he was in front of.

Tenmei also took off his garments, though he did this by hoof. By the time he was done undressing, he too was shivering, necklace adorned with a zircon shimmering faintly. He glanced at the unicorn, who was blowing a raspberry as he hogged the only available blanket to the entire lot. “HEY!” The earth pony cried, a vein appearing on his cheek.

“You were too slow!” Rekka taunted, still sticking his tongue out childishly.

“Don’t make me leave this table.” Nagare hissed, also looking at the unicorn. He too began undressing as he watched Rekka look at him whilst jeering.

“Or you’ll do what, ya praying mantis?” Rekka teased, once more blowing the pegasus a raspberry.

Nagare winced. Drunk as he was, he didn’t even think of formulating a decent threat up until now. “I’ll...do things…” He murmured.

“What kind of things?” Rekka taunted some more, smug grin once more adorning his face.

Nagare winced once more, and a brow was twitching. “Just...don’t make me get up from this table.” He repeated, now fully undressed himself.

“Like you’ll do anything.” Rekka replied, smug grin widening. He then proceeded to point and laugh at the pegasus as if he just failed doing a flying trick on epic proportions.

Nagare slammed his front hooves onto the table, spread his wings wide, and rose on his back legs, his resulting scream sounding more like a roar as he glared daggers at the unicorn who kept teasing him.

Like that was enough to stop Rekka’s charade. The unicorn, undeterred by the display of the pegasus, continued to laugh mockingly. “You’re not gonna do anything!” He jeered, at this point crying because of how hard he was laughing his ass off.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Nagare shouted at the top of his lungs, storming straight to the unicorn on his rear legs and grabbing him by the shoulders with his front hooves.

“Aha...aha!” Rekka began to calm down now, looking at the pegasus with that damned grin still on his muzzle. He frowned for a moment. “You’re serious…?”

Nagare nodded, eyes narrowing lower.

Rekka broke out into another fit of laughter. “Then let me laugh harder!” He cried, using his magic to push the pegasus away before he rolled onto his back, holding his stomach with his front hooves.

Nagare was fuming at this point, still standing up on his hind legs. Steam billowed out from his earholes like he had been a teapot filled with boiling water. He was about to charge again when that damned magic aura held him still.

“D’awww, baby want his bottle?” Rekka taunted, still very much laughing his ass off.

Nagare screamed in anger, struggling against the magic. It was in vain, for he could move no more than a few centimeters at best.

Tenmei was watching this entire mess unfold the whole time, sitting down with a bowl of popcorn in front of him. It was nearly empty, with only a few morsels left. He was clapping his front hooves madly, chanting “I want to see more!” like a foal.

“Why don’t you fucking can it, you spiny leaf insect?!” Nagare shouted, his voice silencing the earth pony instantly. “Besides, it’s between me and Rekka, and I don’t need a fucking peanut gallery!”

“Yeah you do!” Rekka said, the pegasus shooting another glare of daggers as soon as he spoke. “Besides, ya can’t do shit.”

For the third time, the raging pegasus winced.

“What were we doing again?” Tenmei asked, causing the other two drunks to look at him.

Rekka shrugged.

“Want some more booze?” The earth pony asked, chuckling.

“Hell yeah!” The unicorn cried, smile widening.

“Okay. I’ll get some more.” Tenmei replied, getting up and awkwardly trotting to the door. He opened it and left, soft thuds beyond indicating he was still tripping left and right.

The two waited for some moments as the hallway beyond fell silent. Thuds and hooves hitting the wood hit their ears again, and they watched as the earth pony stumbled in laughing as if tripping were a child’s game, the bartender trotting in shortly after with three fresh mugs of beer. The two stallions who were arguing promptly downed their drinks, as did their friend, and the bartender left in short order with the emptied mugs.

“Who wants to play a game of truth or dare?” Tenmei asked with another chuckle, causing the other two to look at him before they could argue some more.