"REPORT TO ME, CAPTAIN!!!!" I screamed at general fart bottom, who calmly licked his tail. "WE SHOULD ATTACK PONYVILLE?!?!? WHY, CAPTAIN?!?!?" I screamed, pacing in my cardboard box, my cat costume riding up everything. general fart bottom started eating the fish I made for him. "GENIOUS!!!!! WE NEED A CAT ARMY TO DEFEAT THE DREADED RED DOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL SERVE MY MISSION WELL, FART BOTTOM!!!!!!!!!! FAREWELL!!!" I yelled, leaping up in the air, forgetting I wasn't a Pegasus. I crashed to earth. I glanced up. why did I place it on a cloud again..... I wondered, staring up at the sky. ahh, yes!!! cause fart bottom would otherwise destroy the universe!!!! I gleefully leapt into the air like a bullet, racing towards ponyville.
hours later, I finally arrived in the center of ponyville.
chomping on a caramel apple, I looked around at the place.
quiet, peaceful, no chaos anywhere.
I hated it.
I grinned, tossing my caramel apple at a statue of the mayor as I focused my powers. "KITTY CLAWS AND CAT PAWS!!!" I screamed my magic mantra as I started changing ponyville to something awesome.
I danced on a peach pie I found as I changed the horrible statue of the mayor into a captain fart bottom statue.
smiling, I watched the ponys panic as I was deciding what coror of cat fur would be good for roads. I decided lime green was best, as I placed the pie on my head, chicken dancing my way down the side walk.
a little while later, I came apon a orchard of apples!!! delighted, I began changing them to cat nip stalks as a wrinkled old green lady ran at me.
"GiT BACK HERE, YA WHIPPERSNAPPER!!!!" she shouted, beating me with her cane. I smiled, patting her head as she turned into a cat. the cat meowed, as I leaned close to it.
"report to captain fart bottom for orders, recruit!!!" I yelled as I teleported the cat back to fart bottom.
I soon became tantalized as the cat nip intreuged me. I layed down in it, letting it take over me..... ahh..... so soothing.... fart bottom will be pleased..... I thought as I drifted off to sleep.
-back at ponyville-
apple jack rushed to twlights castle, bursting in. "twi!!!! this... this crazy pony... has RUINED my harvest!" she snapped, rage in her eyes.
twilight nodded, showing concern. "most of the town is terrorized... its just cat things everywhere! I had to rescue ponys from the ground, they were sinking into it!!!"
a white unicorn with a purple mane came in, fainting on the couch. " and the COLORS!!! THE COLORS!!!!!! red just simply DOESNT go with green!!!!! oh... my boutique.... my beautiful boutique..." she sobbed dramatically, while a love struck dragon watched her.
a pony with a rainbow main shrugged. ''im cool.''
fluttershy was hiding in the corner. "all of my animals are cats now....." she said softly, hiding.
" we need to use the elements of harmony....." twilight said, strutting her sparkley-ass towards-
" but twi... we gave them up, remember?" applejack reminded her.
twilight twitched. "for the love of- "
suddenly, there was a chuckle from the shadows. pinkie pie calmly blew bubbles from her bubble-pipe, looking thoughtful. ''leave it ta me.....'' she said, rubbing her 2 front hooves together before racing out of the castle.
I woke up feeling high as I took my pie out, playing it like a trumpet as I walked out of sweet catnip acres, heading back to town. I sighed happly, turning ponys to cats and sending them to fart bottom when I heard a crash behind me.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS PONYVILLE SAVERS!!!! YAY!!!!" three young, evil fillys screamed as they began attacking me. I smiled, handing one of them my pie. "may the crust be with you." I said as I continued cartwheeling down the road. the fillys stopped dead in there tracks, not knowing what to do as I headed towards the ever free forest.
the wildlife didnt really scream that much as i decided normal trees just wouldnt do. CAT trees however..............
i had just finished my last tree, when i heard a angry, rhyming shout behind me.
''WHY IS MY TREE A CATS TOY? WHERE THE F*** IS THE FUNNY BOY????????''
a madpony and a rhyming zebra
i turned around with a smile, and was rewarded with a hoof-in-the-face. ''why hello there!!!!!!'' i yelled, slapping the zebra. strange, shes not a cat yet.....
''FIRST YOU RUIN MY TREE, THEN YOU SLAP ME?!?'' she yelled. ''you are QUITE rude, with your random attatude!! changing everything in ponyville, you even ruined the mill!!!!!!''
i shrugged. ''fart-bottom commanded me. OBAY THE CAT!!!!!!!'' i yelled, twerking in her face. she roared as i made my getaway on a flying banana.
suddenly, i heard a strange sound, then crashed into a large blue box.
a door opened, and a brown gentlecolt stepped out. ''well hello there!'' he cheerfully said to me. ''ive been in this aria many times, but ive never seen you!''
i stood up, and tossed the banana into the sky, setting it free. ''and ive never seen YOU!'' i chirped back. ''who are you, and why did your box crash into me?''
he looked suprised. ''the T.A.R.D.I.S didnt crash into YOU, YOU crashed into the T.A.R.D.I.S!'' he replyed, loosing some of that chipperness. ''and im the doctor, for your information.''
''doctor of what? and where? and WHEN?'' i asked. ''and if your a doctor, can you fix this?'' i held up my broken leg, from when the box crashed into me.
he sighed. ''not again......'' he muttered. ''im not THAT kind of doctor!!!!'' he started walking, and i hopped after him.
''but you SAID your a doc-'' i was cut off.
''my NAME is the doctor, im not a actual doctor!!!!!!!'' he snapped.
well, SOMEONES grumpy.
''so...... what are we doing.?'' i asked.
'''we' would imply 'you and i.' im going alone.'' he scoffed. he was headed towards the cativille, formally known as ponyville.
''why?'' i asked.
''because.''
''because why?''
''just because. ''
''just because WHY?''
''because i want to go ALONE!!!''
''..........why?''
''FOR THE LOVE OF-''
