“You gonna eat that!?” Pinkie Pie asked cheerfully, eyeing the cupcake floating in front of Celestia with a gleaming eye. Without waiting for any kind of a response, she chomped down on the delectable treat and hopped off merrily. The Cakes gasped dramatically and ran over, apologizing profusely. Celestia gazed in dumbstruck horror at the empty space in front of her.
Everything went still as a dark, vengeful aura flared up around the princess.
“Ooh, I guess there’s a dark side to the sun, too!” Pinkie laughed, oblivious to the princess’s rising ire.
“You ate….my CUPCAKE!” Celestia bellowed, the shout reverberating throughout the crowded room. Purple and green magic flared up around her horn, and a split second later the Elements of Harmony were hovering in front of her threateningly. A burst of power surged through the Elements and shot straight at an oblivious Pinkie Pie, who had turned and gone back to the dessert table.
When it hit its target, Pinkie was lifted into the air and hurtled out the door and up towards the sky. Finally realizing what was happening, she gave her final farewell.
“Bye guys! See you later!” she said, waving her hoof as she disappeared from view. A second later, Pinkie Pie’s shadow appeared in the moon. The dark aura around Celestia went down and she blinked disoriently.
“Princess Celestia, what did you do!?” Twilight exclaimed, horrified.
“Oops. It seems I’ve done it again, haven’t I? I may have sent Pinkie Pie to the moon…. for a thousand years,” Celestia replied, looking embarrassed. “I guess I let my temper get the best of me.”
“Bring her back then!” Twilight begged.
“I would…. but I can’t,” Celestia said apologetically. “If I could, I would have brought Luna back a lot sooner. I’m afraid the chance of escape only comes once every thousand years.”
“But no normal pony can survive that long!” Applejack said, aghast.
“I’m afraid so. You all have my condolences,” Celestia said regally. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have royal duties to attend to elsewhere.” She walked rather quickly out the door.
The stunned ponies tried to come to terms with the fact that they would never see their friend again- and not only that, but they were also down an Element of Harmony, and Pinkie Pie was a hard pony to replace. At that moment, a strange sombrero and poncho-clad stallion came in carrying a rubber chicken.
“Boneless and I sensed a major disturbance in the party throwing force and came to investigate. Name’s Cheese. Cheese Sandwich.”
1,000 years later
“Congratulations, Princess Twilight, on once again saving Equestria with the power of friendship,” Celestia said with a smile.
“I couldn’t have done it without my friends,” Twilight said humbly.
‘I KNEW giving them immortality was a good idea,’ Celestia thought smugly.
“I’m glad to see that your friendships are as strong as ever. Now, I’d love to stay, but I really must be going back to Canterlot…”
“Oh, we really shouldn’t…” Luna said.
“There’ll be cake,” Cheese wheedled.
“Well, if Boneless insists, I suppose we can stay for a while….” Celestia caved. The bearer of the Element of Laughter grinned knowingly.
Unnoticed by the ponies inside Twilight’s tree-shaped purple princess palace, the poofy-haired shadow of their long-gone pink friend slowly faded as four stars moved into the perfect position.
Cheese’s party was in full swing, and Twilight was watching from near the snack table when a nearly forgotten voice came from right next to her.
“Wow, what a great party!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Ooh, cupcakes!” She grabbed a cupcake and shoved it in her face just as the occupants of the room froze and turned to gape at her.
“PINKIE PIE!?” they all exclaimed.
“That’s me!” she said happily. “Man, I haven’t seen you guys in forever!”
“Pinkie Pie…. how are you still alive after all this time on the moon!?” Celestia asked, firstly recovering from the shock.
“Well, it’s kinda obvious,” Pinkie Pie laughed.
“Not to us!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
“You mean…. you guys don’t know? I always kinda thought you did!” Pinkie Pie said with a shrug. “Guess I’ll have to show you!” With that, she screwed up her eyes and her body began to elongate. Her arms and legs turned into those of other several other animals, she sprouted little wings and horns, and finally stopped when she was a little taller than Princess Celestia. “I’m a draconequus!”
“WHAT!?” was the resounding response.
“Seriously? You never guessed?”Pinkie giggled.
“Sugarcube, how in Equestria were we supposed to guess somethin’ like that?” Applejack demanded.
“Well, think about it!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “I mean, how else could I set up parties as fast as I can? Did you never wonder why I never had to refill my party cannon? Plus, I love pranks, which should have been a dead giveaway, and my Pinkie Sense, and how I have enough energy to bounce my every step. I’ve even out-run Rainbow Dash! You never thought I might be more than just your average pony!? Not even you, Twilight!? Wow, for an egghead…. you’re kinda dumb,” Pinkie said, turning back to her pony body.
“Hey!” Twilight huffed. “I barely knew anything about draconequi back then!”
“So, I survived because I’m a draconequus, duh! So that’s how Equestria was made!”
“......” a resounding silence filled the room.
“I KNEW no normal earth pony could beat me in a race!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed triumphantly.
“I suppose it does make sense….” Fluttershy said quietly. Discord, who had just appeared, was about to give his usual response, ‘What fun is there in making sense?’ when he saw the new pony. ‘She looks….familiar. But I can’t quite put my paw on it...’
“So now I’m ready to return as the bearer of the Element of Laughter!” Pinkie Pie concluded.
“Oh… well, um, actually…” Twilight said nervously. “Since you were gone so long…. we kind of….replaced you.” Cheese Sandwich waved self-consciously, partially because this was his idol, and partially because he’d stolen her job. Pinkie’s face fell as her mane deflated and she returned to her draconequus form. Discord, who had been watching silently with his usual cotton candy and chocolate milk, suddenly did a spit-take and looked again. ‘It CAN'T be!’ he thought.
“Entropy!?” he exclaimed loudly, causing everyone in the room to turn to look at him, including ‘Pinkie Pie’ whose mane instantly poofed back up.
“Dissy!?” she said happily, launching herself at him and nearly hugging him to death. “I thought you got turned to stone!”
“I was! Twice! But now I’m reformed and I’m good! Mostly,” Discord said with a grin. “I never heard from you, so I thought you died!”
“Nope! I’ve just been on the moon for a thousand years! I ate Princess Celestia’s cupcake!” Pinkie-or Entropy- replied with a grin.
“I’d heard the story, but I didn’t know that was you! Just to let you know, that was not a very smart thing to do. You know how Celly gets about her cake.”
“Wait a minute. I’m confused,” Twilight interrupted. “How exactly do you two know each other?”
“We were childhood friends! We grew up together!” Entropy said.
“Well, Entropy, if you’re out of a job, I would be more than happy to offer you a position as my assistant/partner!” Discord offered. “But I’m not paying you.”
“Okie dokie Loki!” Entropy said happily, and they disappeared to cause chaos together.
The shocked silence that filled the room was now deafening.
“What. Have. We. Done!?” Celestia asked, horrified at what had just occurred.
“Actually, sister, we would like to point out that this is thine own fault. Thou shouldst really stop banishing ponies to the moon. Thou always regretest the decision in the end.” Luna pointed out. “And sincewe are not at fault, we thinkest we will go and have some cake while thou cleanest up thine mess.” With those words, Luna left her sister to go and raid the dessert table.
Author's Note
As ridiculous as ths story is, a small part of me really does believe that there's no way Pinkie is just a normal Earth pony. Maybe not full-on draconequus, but Earth pony? Seriously. No Earth pony can defy gravity or beat a flying Rainbow Dash on foot. No. Way.
