A Handgunner in Equestria

by AxelGear

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Human
Length: 1848

A lonely gun salesman from San Diego enters work one day to find he has been transported to another world

Jason Grant is a gun salesman from San Diego, CA who finds himself in Equestria very abruptly under unknown circumstances and gets into a sticky situation.

This is a random action short story - Surprise ending, it's not what you think.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-13 06:39:37 UTC

Welcome to Equestria

Jason shot up to his feet.

He spluttered a curse - he was completely soaking wet and coughing up a storm, and he tasted something vile.

He froze. What happened?!

"WHAT THE HELL!" he shouted, to no one. He didn't understand - one second he was entering his workplace, the next he had essentially belly-flopped and sank under a body of scummy water, as if some grand cosmic prankster had removed the whole interior of the shop and replaced it with a 5 foot drop into a decades-neglected swimming pool. Confused beyond reason, he tried to take a minute to collect himself. Wiping his face gingerly and spitting out the disgusting taste of the water, he noticed how different the lighting was. How did I get outside? he thought. It was 9:30 in the morning, why was it this dark? He could even see that the moon was out, although it looked strangely off. The water had a pungent stench, and it made his stomach turn to think he'd been completely submerged in it. His backpack was very heavy, and had weighed him down as he was under. If the water had been deeper...

"The guns!" He quickly slid his bag around to his front, not an easy feat due to its added water weight. He did his best to keep it above the surface. It was dripping wet, just like he was, but the 8 guns he had brought to keep in the safe at work were ok. Each was sealed in a separate airtight combination lockbox. The one on his hip, though..."Damn!" he said aloud. He slung the bag around to his back and hurriedly popped the clasp on his Bianchi leather holster, drawing his 9mm Browning Hi Power. It was wet, and some of the - what was it, swamp water? - had gotten into the interior of his favorite carry weapon for work. The nasty fluid ran down the grip, onto his arm and dripped off his elbow.

Damn damn damn. "DAMN!" he shouted, just for good measure as he took out the mag and shook it out. He racked the slide back, but his hand slipped on the slide and it snapped forward unexpectedly. Instead of catching the extracted round in his hand, it popped out and disappeared into the murky water with a faint plop. Jason threw up his hands in defeat. He didn't like the fact that he'd just deposited a live round into a random swamp, but then again, it was a random swamp, and the round wasn't going to set itself off. Besides, he was beyond caring now. He locked the slide back again and shook out the old pistol as best he could. The rounds in the mag might misfire now, I'm gonna have to store them somewhere until I can dispose of them safely-

Something moved in the corner of his vision, to his left. He snapped his head towards it, and loaded the wet mag into the pistol. He chambered a round, and a mental counter appeared in his mind as it always did when he practiced shooting. 13

A wide ripple had appeared in front of him on the surface of the tepid swamp lake, pushing along the disgusting scum that sat on the water. It was moving his way. Jason was suddenly reminded of all the horror movies he'd seen that starred creatures in swamps, bogs and lakes. He was also very aware that he had been standing waist deep in a swampy lake for the past few minutes.

He held his Hi Power at the ready and waited, silently press checking it just to be absolutely sure that he had chambered a round. There it was. Please please please don't misfire he pleaded inside his head. Wouldn't it be typical of his luck for the one time he actually needed to use a firearm for shooting something other than steel plates and paper targets that it would misfire? He thought about reloading - he had a loaded spare mag on his belt, but it was wet too.

He watched as the eerie ripple flowed into him. Wait...ripples are circles that move outward from a point, like when a raindrop hits a still pond... This was a line that was angled. Which meant that it was actually a wake. Which meant that something must be moving in the wat-

FFFWWWWWOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH!!!

A huge something exploded out of the swamp ahead and to his left, maybe 10 yards away. Jason's first impression was that of a large green thing with teeth the size of his fingers; his second was that of an enormous anaconda, with a thickly scaled tail that disappeared beneath the surface with frightening ease.

"By the Power of Grayskull!" he cried out, fighting off panic. He slowly moved backwards while keeping his aim in what he hoped to be the beasts general direction. Im screwed, Im done, this is it, game over... his mind screamed. The monsters wake was suddenly visible again. The sight of it and what it represented made his stomach turn to stone.

But it was moving away! He immediately began to back up as fast as he safely could, without falling, frantically scanning the dim moonlit swamp for dry land. Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap... he was not moving nearly as fast as he would have liked. "Where did you go?" he hissed aloud to the beast. He was completely surrounded by the tepid water - there was no land, or trees, or anything in sight.

Then, to his horror, the wake appeared out of the dimness of the swamp, heading straight for him about 20 feet ahead. He fired, a double tap into the area just ahead of the point of the wake.

Nothing. He gritted his teeth and emptied the weapon into the spot, 11 loud pops that split his ears.

Still nothing.

He stumbled back in mortal terror as the head of a very large crocodile-like thing rose above the surface, the top layer of scum resting on its head as it opened its jaws and glided towards him. It was not 10 feet away. In a last ditch effort to save himself he dove to the right, allowing the bag to drag him down and desperately clawing to the left.

The monster roughly brushed by his hip, but not without a prize - Jason's left leg was caught in the corner of the beasts mouth. Almost instantly, he could feel very large teeth puncture the meat of his calf. He was yanked along for the ride.

PAIN!!! his mind shrieked. The thing dragged him through the water, his head swimming with the shock of the pain and the realization that he was going to be eaten alive in a swamp. But he wouldn't go down without a fight.

He reached for the spare Hi Power mag in his belt, and simultaneously  hit the mag release button on the pistol, feeling the mag eject. The force of being dragged made it very difficult, even more so with the extreme pain, but his adrenaline was up, and he was fighting for his life. There was no margin for error. It was hard to move his arms - he brought his hands close to his chest to make the fine motions he would have to make easier. Slamming the new mag into place, he attempted to work the slide to chamber the first round. He was running out of breath fast, and would definitely drown in a matter of seconds. ...But I'm shooting this goddamn thing first!

Then monster began to veer left and right and shook its head violently, attempting to pull him deeper into its terrifying maw. Just then Jason felt his leg break - he heard his own muffled agonizing scream under the putrid water. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. He grabbed the pistols slide with his left hand and racked it back, felt the round get pushed from the magazine to the chamber. He had lost a lot of precious air in his involuntary cry, and his chest felt ready to collapse from the lack of oxygen. DIE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!! he thought, and without thinking he pulled the trigger as fast as he could, 13 rounds into the beast at point blank.

The monster roared, a sound that was felt as much as heard, and released its death grip on his leg. Jason slipped the bag off his shoulders as fast as he could, letting it fall to his feet underwater, and for the second time in the last 5 minutes shot up into the night air, his mind still screaming with agony and where was the croc?! Hot tears of pain seared his eyes and blurred his vision.

As if on cue, the dreaded wake appeared before him once again. He couldn't move through the pain, his body would not allow it. He didn't have another spare mage, and his bag was at his feet. It might as well have been on the moon. He simply stood and raised his arms in futility to brace the impact, knowing full well it would do absolutely nothing. He felt perilous resignation, and hoped it would be fast - the crocodiles wake approached.

When it was only about 10 feet away, it rose its head out of the murky water, fluid running around its eyes and broad snout. Its maw was agape, and ready to take him -  and then there was an explosion of white and purple light.

The only way he could have described it would have been energy that he could feel permeating every fiber of his being.

Then he was on the floor of a round room with bookshelves lining the walls. He caught a glimpse of a wooden front door, a spiral stairway that led up to a second floor, and piles of books everywhere.

A library?? He was bleeding profusely from his torn and broken left leg, soaking wet, and confused beyond belief. His whole body, inside and out, had a strange tingling sensation. He was standing exactly the same way he had been in the swamp, which did not bode well - His leg seared with the pain , and he collapsed into a messy pile.

Someone, a woman, yelled "Spike, get the girls over here NOW!" "Okay, Ill be right back!" shouted some guy, a teenager. Jason heard fast, light footsteps, and the door opening and slamming shut. He tried to lift his head to see who spoke, but was overwhelmed with pain. It was just too much - He went limp, the Hi Power clattered to the hardwood floor, and he noticed was that his bag was somehow still at his feet. He slumped down further, and the woman spoke frantically - even in his critical state, he could hear that she was shocked and unsure of what to say.

"Uhh, H-hello! Don't panic, I'll do my best to fix you up! My name is Twilight Sparkle - Welcome to Equestria....?"

He passed out.